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Jaebum’s wrapping up his introductory Kaiju Assault Lecture when Jinyoung steps inside his classroom. Considering how the door is actually at Jaebum’s end of the lecture hall and he’s facing his class and combine that with how light Jinyoung movements are, Jaebum shouldn’t know this. He doesn’t even have the advantage of the Ghost Drift to let him know of Jinyoung anymore. But what does tell Jaebum of the younger’s presence is the eerily quiet hall and the look of reverence on the faces of the new cadets. It’s a rare sight to see one of Dream High's pilots, let alone both of them at the same time. And considering the fact that one of those pilots is now one of the Executives of theY okohama Shatterdome, it is even rarer still to see them together.Jaebum resists the urge to smile as he dismisses all six of his cadets. He looks to the end of the lecture hall to see Jinyoung gripping on his cane and smiling politely at the cadets as they pass him with dreamy looks in their eyes. Jaebum wonders if he looks like that every time he catches a glimpse of Jinyoung. If he does, he wonders how Jinyoung still doesn’t see it after all these years. But that’s the irony, Jaebum thinks. They shared a bed, they shared a life, they shared their minds; but in the end, all the important things are left unsaid and Jaebum is left with a gaping hole in his mind and a heart that aches endlessly.“Jinyoung.” Jaebum calls out to the get the younger’s attention as he approaches him and his bright eye assistant, Hyunjin. Five years ago, Jaebum doesn’t even need to think for Jinyoung to know that Jaebum needs him. Now, Jaebum has to seek him out with his eyes, his words, his touch just to get Jinyoung to look in his general direction. But he deserves this, Jaebum thinks bitterly; after all, he did this to Jinyoung. Took away his strength, his leg, the light in his eyes. Only the guilt, the shame, the regret is greater than the love that Jaebum has growing inside his chest.Jinyoung turns his smile to Jaebum, and Jaebum can see how the petals of his lips bloom into softness and sincerity. Jaebum’s heart stutters traitorously. How bold, how audacious of him still to love Jinyoung this much after all that he had done to Jinyoung.“Hyung.” Jinyoung greets a little breathlessly and Jaebum is reminded of how much he misses his voice. He hasn’t heard Jinyoung’s voice this close in a while now, only able to catch a glimpse of it blaring over the siren.“What can I do for you today?” Jaebum asks and holds the door open. Jinyoung passes him with a playful look in his eyes, the bottom of his cane clicks against the concrete floor loudly as they walk toward Jaebum’s office. Jaebum looks down briefly to see Jinyoung favoring his natural leg and leaning on the cane. He wants to scold Jinyoung for it: it’s been nearly five years and Jinyoung’s still making a habit out of being dependent of his walking stick. But what right does he have now? What right did he have then? So, he doesn’t say anything, he bites his tongue and goes to Jinyoung’s left side, prepared to catch Jinyoung if he topples.“Can’t I visit my favorite hyung?” Jinyoung asks in return, falling into steps besides Jaebum, their breath syncing unconsciously. It feels like eons ago when they last drifted, but old habits die hard.Jaebum turns an unamused look at Jinyoung. Five years ago, Jinyoung would visit him just for the hell of it. Now, Jinyoung is one of the Executives , second only to Director Taecyeon in the chain of command. He doesn’t have the time to just casually visit Jaebum just because he’s his favorite hyung anymore. More time than not, it is under order. Jinyoung looks at him sheepishly as if he knows what’s going through Jaebum’s mind. Jaebum wonders if he does, even though the Ghost Drift is nonexistent between them now. He doesn’t doubt it though, Jinyoung knows him best. Jinyoung makes a vague gesture with his free hand and Hyunjin neatly places a vanilla folder into his open palm. His hand trembles as he clenches onto it and he says “The PPDC has a proposition for you.”Jaebum looks at the folder skeptically before Jinyoung thrusts it into his chest, making him scrambles to catch it. It’s quite hefty, Jaebum muses as he weighs it up and down. Jinyoung’s fingers flicker, urging him to open it. And Jaebum does as Jinyoung commands. He peers into the document to see a stack of profiles of prospective Rangers and slams the folder shut with contempt. Jaebum’s tempted to throw it into Jinyoung’s face, but he already caused enough damage to Jinyoung’s person. He knows what Jinyoung is asking of him and he croaks out with a bleeding heart “No.”How can Jinyoung ask this of him?He wonders if Jinyoung can hear his heart breaking. Clearly, he doesn’t, because the younger immediately turns to look at Jaebum square in the eyes, angered, and demands authoritatively “Why not?”Jaebum swallows thickly, chest constricting with unspoken words. He replies weakly “I can’t.”“What do you mean you can’t?” Jinyoung demands again. He pulls himself to full height as he advances on Jaebum, the clicking of his cane sounds like the countdown to Jaebum’s death sentence.“You are a Ranger, Jaebum-hyung, it is your duty to pilot a Jaeger when the PPDC demands it.”Jaebum looks at Jinyoung for a short while before he manages “I just- can’t. Jinyoungie, please.”“And why can’t you?” Jinyoung looks at him with fire in his eyes. “You’re not the one with a carbon fiber leg and spinal misalignment.”Jaebum’s eyes flicker down. All he sees are sleek shoes and neat dress pants. But he knows. Under all those layers lies a carbon-fiber prosthetic leg that causes pain to Jinyoung every step he takes. He did this to Jinyoung. He did this. Unable to trust himself not to break down, Jaebum looks away. His eyes meet Hyunjin’s and the young assistant quickly looks away to spare Jaebum some semblance of dignity. Jinyoung steps back, as if sensing his guilt and shame. He clears his throat and apologizes to Jaebum “I’m sorry hyung, that’s- that was harsh.”Instantly, the older replies and reaches out as if to touch Jinyoung “No, no, it’s okay, I- I did this. I-”His hand hovers, not quite touching, and Jinyoung backs away entirely with a tired sigh. He slicks his hair back in frustration and tells Jaebum “I told you, it was not your fault. I’m sorry I brought it up. My temper got the best of me.”Silence overcome them for a while before Jinyoung continues with a self-deprecating smile “You know how it is.” “Yes.” Jaebum breathes out with a tight smile, hand still awkwardly between the two of them. He remembers how Jinyoung gets when he’s stressed and/or angered. Jaebum learnt to just let Jinyoung vent. “Well, I wouldn’t ask this of you if we have any other choice.” Jinyoung says, leaning his hip against the edge of the desk. Jaebum clenches his hand and walks over to settle beside him. He hums softly under his breath and splays his hands on his thighs in a comforting manner, hoping that Jinyoung would calm down with him. In the past, Jaebum would always do this to calm Jinyoung down, and it would always work. There was always an active connection between them and what Jaebum felt, Jinyoung would too. But now, Jinyoung’s fists are clenched tightly over his cane and Jaebum wishes he could just reach out to pat his scarred hands in comfort. Instead, he waits for Jinyoung to continue.“You know how we’re moving to the Nagasaki Shatterdome?” Jinyoung decides to ask and Jaebum nods an affirmative. The news was broadcast a couple of months ago and the Shatterdome had to crammed in moving things in between fighting Kaijus and trying desperately to recruit new cadets. It’s something about consolidating the inventories and some other vague stuff that Jaebum isn’t sure about. “Well, it isn’t just us. Everyone’s moving to Nagasaki.” Jinyoung tells him and Jaebum makes a confused noise. “The UN no longer supports the PPDC. They’re only going to fund us for the next trimester. Secretary General Hamasaki called in every available Jaegers and Officers to Nagasaki and the council are trading and selling off the other Shatterdomes for funds. And we’re still desperately short on funding. It’s basically why Jackson’s off to the States and Hongkong: he’s lobbying for funds.” Jaebum frowns “What do you mean they’ll only fund us for the next trimester. We’re basically humanity’s last hope!”Jinyoung sighs “ Jaegers are expensive to make and their pilots are even more fickle. The UN thinks it’s better to focus on preservations so everything’s going into the Wall of Life Program. ”“The Wall?” Jaebum asks with gritted teeth. “Mutavore fucking demolished the Sydney Wall and they’re still funding the fucking Wall? Why is there not a public outrage already?”“Well, they’re very hush-hush about it and we’re not exactly leaking out any info on it.” “And why the fuck not? Clearly, we need to. We need the money and the manpower, because if we don’t you wouldn’t even be here with that fucking folder to begin with.”Jinyoung sighs “Hyung, it’s a delicate matter right now. A K-Scientist in L.A predicted a double and triple event coming up and we can’t risk an uproar right now. We need the civilians to be calm while we figure this shit out.”“Does the United Nation know this?” Jaebum demands, dumbstruck.“They do, they just don’t care. They think they just need to build a bigger and better wall.”“Well that’s clearly not going to help them.” Jaebum huffs out. After a short while, he asks “Is that why you need me?”“I-” Jinyoung hesitates. Instead, he replies “A couple of scientists in the L.A and Hong Kong Shatterdomes are working through a few theories on how to close the Breach.”“That shit never worked before.” Jaebum answers with an eye roll. He remembers the nukes they sent into the Breach: they just got spit right back out and contaminated the water with its poison.“Look, it’s- I’m already telling you too much. But PPDC needs you, hyung. The world needs you.” Jinyoung looks at him pleadingly. Jaebum wonders if Jinyoung needs him too. The younger continues, just as pleading as he looks, “They need Dream High to fight for them again. So just- just at least consider it, please.”Jaebum stares at the folder clutched in his hands intensely, wondering how Jinyoung could possibly beg him to drift with someone else other than him. He wonders if Jinyoung’s chest aches as his does.Jinyoung clears his throat and pushes off the furniture and Hyunjin is beside him in seconds to help him to his feet. The fingers he has around his cane are paperwhite as he reminds the older “My place is with PPDC, Jaebum-hyung. So if you still-“Jaebum’s head snaps up at that broken statement. He looks at Jinyoung with hope in his eyes. For what, he isn’t sure. But he hopes for it anyways. “If you-”A deep breath as Jinyoung steels his expression.“It’s either you go to Nagasaki with us and fight, or you leave.”Jaebum’s heart aches “And what if I leave?”Will you leave with me? Jaebum wants to selfishly ask.“My place has always been with PPDC.” Jinyoung says again with meaning, the look in his eyes are earnest. He smiles tightly and nods at Jaebum. His fingers tick against the carbon fiber of his cane and he strides toward the door with Hyunjin.“Okay.” Jaebum calls out, just so he can keep Jinyoung close for a few more seconds. Jinyoung whirls around with half a smile on his lips. How can Jinyoung be so happy with the idea of Jaebum drifting with someone other than himself? Just the thought of having someone else being so intimately familiar with his mind and memories, Jinyoung’s memories, makes Jaebum’s skin tingle with fire and frostbite.“Really?” The younger asks eagerly, but there’s also a hint of skepticism to his voice. Jaebum claps his hands behind his back and replies firmly without a hint of trickery “Yes, really.”For you, I’d do anything; he wants to say but doesn’t. And that’s the thing with them: important things are always left unsaid.
