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"And how many girls are your 'like biggest fan ever'?" Darcy teased, as Steve was attacked in front of them, for the millionth time, by a gaggle of fangirls. She totally meant it as a joke, but she forgot who she'd been walking with. The Winter Soldier just froze next to her, and even though he wasn't looking at her, she had the weird feeling that he was definitely watching her.She wasn't sure she'd ever actually talked to him before, now that she thought about it. He was always around, with Steve, and he'd talk to Steve, and Steve alone, in a low voice that everyone could hear, but never make out what was said. If she was honest, and Darcy was always honest with herself, that voice was the sexiest thing she'd never heard.The silence stretched out unrelenting between them, until Cap walked back to them and they headed back to the tower. A sort of sinking feeling was forming in her gut, and a tightness in her throat that she couldn't find an excuse for. Darcy cleared her throat as they walked in the shiny doors, and pulled Steve aside."What's up, Darce? You were kinda quiet back there," Steve said, ever the concerned gentleman. Darcy fidgeted."Yeah, I know, and I'm really sorry if I, like screwed his brain up or something, cuz you're the one that's stuck cleaning it up…"The Cap grabbed her arms. "Darcy. What is it.""I just made a joke, earlier, while we were outside, and he just like, totally did not take it well." Steve was definitely panicking, a little, and she was catching it. "I'm so sorry, I don't know what I said that-""It's okay, Darcy, I'll take care of it." He gave her a quick smile, one that told her he had to do this often, that there were lots of things that people said that Bucky couldn't handle, and he was gone, chasing after the soldier who'd long left the front lobby."Bucky? Bucky, I know you're in here." Steve called out as he entered Bucky's room."Go away, punk," his friend's voice groaned from the corner. Steve walked around the sofa to find him huddled up on the floor, flesh-and-blood hand shoved in his hair."What was it this time?" He slid to the floor next to him, waiting. It was probably ten minutes later when Bucky finally spoke, which startled Steve. Usually it took him at least a half hour to open up."It wasn't bad, Steve, it was…" he paused for a few minutes. Steve waited. "She said my words," he whispered.Steve was flummoxed. He had not been expecting that."Seriously? But, how has she not talked to you before today? Darcy literally talks more than Stark.""I don't know," Bucky laughed, and it sounded a little desperate, and forced, but Steve was so glad to hear the sound."Wait, you didn't say anything back? Bucky, you gotta go talk to her, this is great!""No."Steve pulled out his puppy dog eyes. Bucky glared right back."Come on, you can't do nothing, it's not fair to her.""I'll talk to her when I'm ready, Steve," Bucky said firmly. Steve pouted."Jerk.""Punk."Darcy thought maybe he had liked her joke, after all. At any rate, she'd noticed the formerly brainwashed soldier hanging around her a lot, now. And she swore she'd seen him smiling at her jokes, too. Perhaps she'd just startled him that first time. She hadn't exactly followed up with Cap afterwards. He'd given her a nod later that day as they passed each other in the hall, and she figured that meant everything was hunky-dory.Bucky was just painfully shy, she decided. And still uncertain of his reception among the rest of the Avengers.Case in point, he was currently sitting at the table next to her when everyone else was across the room assembled on and around the couches, watching, of all things, The Notebook. Darcy hated that movie. But the rest of the Avengers had decided that it was 'necessary viewing' for Cap and Bucky to 'catch up' to the current decade. Not that Darcy was totally against romance, she just preferred it when it was combined with a little comedy, or action. There were very few strictly romantic movies that she liked.If she'd known that they'd pick this movie, she'd probably wouldn't have come down. In the spirit of team unity, she was still in the room, just working on her Stark!Pad in a position where she could ignore the movie.At some point, Bucky had apparently gotten bored of the movie, and moved to sit back at the table with her. Darcy was just about to get up and grab herself a beer from Tony's expansive alcohol fridge (literally a separate fridge for all his alcohol) when he sat down. She slid her chair back, and his sharp blue gaze immediately pierced her.She got the feeling that he thought she was leaving because of him."I'm just going to get a beer," she said quickly. "Do you want one? I mean, I don't know if you can still get drunk, if you're anything like Steve…"She trailed off as his gaze softened, and he gave her a short nod, and a tiny smile that was somehow the sexiest thing she'd ever seen, sending a thrill all the way through her. She smiled widely back, and went to get the beers.Darcy handed him his beer with the bottlecap opener as she sat back down. She'd already opened hers, but she'd been around paranoid superheroes and spyssasins long enough to know that they preferred to open their own drinks. She got another small, delightful smile as he opened his beer."Anyone ever tell you you're a real sweet gal?"Darcy gaped at him. He'd just said her words! In his sexy fucking voice that could melt butter by itself."You just, wait," she stammered. "You already knew." Bucky looked afraid, and she didn't like how vulnerable he looked."Last week," he said. "I'm sorry, Darcy. I just-" He huffed out a breath impatiently."Don't be," she said, and as he turned to look at her with a little spark of hope in his eyes, she grabbed his t-shirt collar, and planted her lips on his. Steve glanced behind him to check on Bucky. He'd been a little worried when his best friend had left the couch twenty minutes into the movie, but he'd relaxed when he'd seen Bucky heading over to Darcy, and not to go off somewhere by himself. Steve had hoped he'd tell Darcy that they were soul mates soon, and if the very intense make-out session occurring behind him was any indication, he just had. Steve smiled.Tony noticed he was distracted, and looked over, too."Go get a room!" he yelled at the couple. Bucky jerked back from Darcy, who just laughed as slid off his lap and dragged him out of the lounge."Finally," said Natasha.Thor looked confused. "Finally?""Darcy's been staring holes in him since he got here, and he hasn't been much better," Natasha explained."Actually," Steve piped in, "they're soulmates." Thor nodded in comprehension, and put his arm around Jane."Hey, Tony…" Bruce said tentatively. "What rooms do they have access to?""Fuck."
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Darcy was not having a good day. In fact, the only good thing in her life was the hot cup of coffee she held possessively in her grasp as she strode into work. She was looking fixedly at said cup of coffee, navigating to the lab with the minimal amount of peripheral vision her glasses provided, because she was (as she herself admitted), a bitch in the morning before she'd had a full cup of coffee.She turned a corner and her shoulder ran smack into a solid bicep. Somewhere deep in her brain Darcy appreciated the high level of fitness it took to produce such a toned and firm bicep, but unfortunately, the collision had caused her arm to fling out to the side, her hand reflexively squeezing the coffee cup.The lid popped off in slow motion, and every precious drop of her magic elixir splashed out and onto the floor. She was furious. Furious, and uncaffeinated."Holy fuck, hell no you did not just, oh my god!"She was turning as she spoke, and was startled to see it was the God of Mischief, but that didn't change how mad she was about the loss of her coffee. She directed her glare accordingly. Loki looked completely shocked, perhaps at her excess of Midgardian profanity, but he quickly adjusted his expression to the usual sly smirk she was used to seeing.Not that she saw him often. Technically, they had met, although their first introduction, he'd had a muzzle on and she hadn't made any overtures of friendship.He made a dramatic, swoopy gesture with his hand in her direction, and the coffee that had spilt all over SHIELD's utilitarian carpet vanished, and a brand new cup appeared in her hand. She blinked at it uncomprehendingly, then at Loki, whose smirk had increased."Yes, I did, yes, I am, and I think I should see about taming that mouth of yours."Darcy's brain stuttered like a car engine with a dead battery. She held up a finger."No. No no no no no."And then she walked away, wholly focused on escaping to Jane and the lab, where she could drink her coffee in peace. She took one long, satisfying drink of the perfectly doctored drink as she opened the door to the lab, and it was right there that what had just happened caught up to her."Darcy?" Jane's voice distantly echoed. "Darcy, finish your coffee so you can function like a normal human."Normally Darcy would have snarked right back to something like that, so her silence caused Jane to look up in concern, and wave a hand in front of her face.Darcy turned a horrified gaze on Jane."I think I just told my soulmate to go away."Jane opened and closed her mouth."Well, I mean, you haven't even finished your coffee," Jane stammered. "It can't be as bad as you think it was. And he had to have known you'd say whatever you said, right? It's been written on him all his life… what did he say?"Darcy gulped more coffee in fortification."I actually sort of cussed him out first, and he said… well, here." Darcy turned around, lifting the back of her shirt with one hand to show her the words etched on her lower back in precise, elegant handwriting.Jane peered at Darcy's soulmark and laughed."Darcy, I don't think you've driven this one away. He's probably a keeper.""No, he'd probably be a seeker. But Slytherin, definitely." Darcy responded absently, not really listening."Darcy, focus. Just go find him later today after your coffee. Who is he, anyway?"Darcy stiffened a little, and mumbled her response. Jane poked her."Loki," Darcy said, closing her eyes. For the second time that day, Jane found herself mutely opening and closing her mouth."Loki?! Loki, brother of Thor? God of Mischief?! Darcy are you sure he said-""Yes, I'm sure," Darcy cut her off, gulping down more coffee. They sat in silence as Darcy finished her coffee."It'll all work out, I'm sure," Jane said reassuringly. "I mean, he's really reformed. The Chitauri weren't even really his fault, Shield cleared him. I'm sure you two will get along just fine, you know?"Darcy twisted to see Jane, puzzled as to what exactly was going through her head."Jane, I don't-Oh my god! You thought-" She busted up laughing, but quickly composed herself. "I'm not unhappy it's Loki, I'm afraid that his fragile ego took my words as rejection.""That is good to hear, sister!" Thor's voice boomed into the room. He stood in the doorway that they had forgotten was open, grinning and casually twirling mew-mew."Thor!" Jane leapt up excitedly, rushing into his arms. Darcy wrinkled her nose at their gushy display."Wait up, dude, I'm not your sister," she jabbed at Thor."But Lady Darcy, you are my brother's soulmate, of course you are now my sister," Thor proclaimed."Ugh," Darcy rolled her eyes. "Where is he then?""My brother is suffering great pains of the heart." Jane, of course, interpreted this literally, and looked concerned. Darcy narrowed her eyes at the God of Thunder."He's moping," she stated. Thor looked a little embarrassed."Alright then," Darcy said, and stormed off down the hallway to find her delinquent god.Loki was moping, and he wasn't ashamed of it. He deserved a good sulk, and he'd spent a good ten minutes walking around SHIELD menacingly, with a don't-bother-me expression on his face. Then Thor, of course, had finally badgered it out of him. He'd escaped Thor's annoying optimism to brood by himself. It wasn't any fun being miserable if someone was trying to cheer you up.He dropped his head down on his arms. He hadn't really cared, or thought much about his soulmark before. The profanity-laden sentence written boldly across his chest had merely been amusing to him. The shock factor when he took his shirt off was always entertaining, too.He hadn't expected his soulmate's second sentence to him to simply be 'no'. He clearly had a Hel of a lot of ingratiating to do.He sighed.Darcy Lewis. He couldn't deny he always enjoyed watching her. She was a mix of awkward, sarcasm, and biting retorts. He had simply never gone near her because she was always around Jane. Loki did like Jane, but she was Thor's woman, and Thor was always disgustingly romantic around her. It was irritating.And maybe he was just a tad jealous that Thor had found his soul mate.A tap on his arm caused him to look up. It was Darcy. Loki wasn't sure if this was good or bad. He tried to look impassive, and lifted an eyebrow in question.She put her palms down on the table in front of him, and slowly leaned in close. Loki gulped. Darcy smirked."I'm not inclined to let you 'tame my tongue', but I would like to see what you can do with yours, silver-tongue."A smirk rose on his face to match hers.Neither of them were seen at SHIELD until the next day.
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When Steve woke up from his accidental cryosleep, he didn't know something was wrong because of the fake radio.It was his soulmark.All through his life, Steve's soulmark had been a faded, grayish color on his ankle. Everyone was always confused, because usually the soulmark faded only with the other person's death, but it was unheard of for someone's soulmark to never be dark in the first place. Steve had concluded that his soulmate had been born and died before him.Bucky's had been gray, too, although no one had known that except Steve.But when he woke up that morning and swung his legs out of bed, the first thing that caught his eye had been his soulmark, the pitch black letters on his ankle transfixing him far before he realized the radio's inaccuracy.Of course, he didn't say that's why he knew. His soulmark was personal. And besides, you didn't tell strangers who might be your enemies everything they got wrong.It made sense now, though. His soulmate hadn't been alive yet. Heck, his soulmate's parents probably hadn't even been born by the time he was frozen in ice. Steve wondered if Bucky's soul mark was dark now, too. He hoped so.It was a very high-stakes game now, though. He had the potential to meet his soul mate, but what sounded like a very strange question in his previous time period, was now an incredibly popular greeting.Steve learned not to get excited every time he heard the words "Hey, what's up?"Tony somehow found out about it (Steve blamed Jarvis) and he made an entire list of things he could say in response. Some of them Steve wasn't sure about, but he did like a few, and he made sure to memorize them. At least if he wasn't able to tell who his soulmate was by their first words to him, they'd be able to.Darcy was in the lab watching a movie. There were three very good reasons that she was not at her and Jane's apartment watching the Lord of the Rings.The first was that The Lord of the Rings deserved to be watched on the biggest screen possible, and the lab had a projector, and a very large blank stretch of white wall. Jane kept a futon in there for when she stayed overnight at the lab herself, so Darcy had pulled it over and zapped herself some popcorn, and snuggled in with some blankets and pillows.The second reason was that Jane wouldn't have watched Lord of the Rings with her anyway. Jane was a proper nerd, and Darcy was a hardcore geek. She did usually like the stuff that Darcy made her watch, but she didn't get obsessed with it. So, if Darcy wanted to watch something and flip out every five seconds, she didn't usually watch it with Jane.The third reason was that Thor was in town. At their apartment. Well, actually, he and Jane were on a date right now, but later they'd be at the apartment, and Darcy really really didn't want to know. She didn't understand how their relationship even worked. I mean, Thor had great muscles and all, but intellectually he wasn't on the same level as Jane. Not that he was an idiot, but pretty much everyone was less intelligent than Jane. Opposites attracted, or something?Darcy ripped her mind away from this depressing train of thought, and dropped the Blu-ray disc into the player. Her favorite soundtrack started playing as the menu popped up, and Darcy wiggled happily in her blanket nest.Somebody knocked on the half-open lab door, and Darcy turned to see Captain America striding towards her. He'd never been down to the lab before. He wasn't one of the "science bros", and Darcy got the feeling he was probably a little intimidated by Tony and Bruce when they got into one of their discussions. She certainly did, anyway.She tried to contain her giddiness-after all, if Darcy was going to fantasize about any of the Avengers, he was top of the list. She just didn't run around with one of those crazy fangirl mobs that she'd seen the Cap running away and hiding from. No, Darcy was realistic about her crushes.So, she coolly said, "Hey, what's up?"To her disbelief, his prompt response was, "Chicken butt. Have you seen Jane and Thor?"Darcy managed to stammer out a yes, as she processed the fact that not only had Steve Rogers, Captain freaking America and symbol of all things good, uncharacteristically said 'chicken butt', he had also followed that up with the rest of the words that made up her soul mark.She had known this day was coming. Every time she met someone named Jane, Darcy became their friend. Hence, a poly-sci major working for an astrophysicist. And when this Jane (she knew quite a few) met Thor, she'd spent most of the first hour freaking out before sitting herself down and giving herself a talking to. It would happen when it happened, she reasoned.Steve was asking, a little impatiently, where he might find them. Darcy blinked, coughed, and said, "Probably our place. But, uh, you really don't want to interrupt, Steve."He looked adorably confused for a second, and then he blushed. Darcy had never found herself admiring a blush before, but on Steve, it was delicious."Right," he said, awkwardly. And then he started to leave.Darcy panicked. She didn't understand. Hadn't she said stuff? She'd said his words, right? He'd said hers. Was he not her soulmate?And then, like Steve's giant vibranium shield, it hit her.She had spoken to him. And she'd only said the most cliché words that had ever been written on someone.Darcy jumped up, barely saving herself from falling over the back of the futon."Wait!" she cried desperately. "I've had 'chicken butt' written on my butt my entire life, you can't just walk away like that!"Steve was back next to the futon before she could say truth, justice and the American way."What?!" he exclaimed."Yeh," said Darcy, a little breathless herself at how fast he'd moved. "See?" She yanked down one side of her yoga pants to show him the words, written across the upper part of her left butt-cheek.Steve blushed, again. "Sorry," he said. That blush should be outlawed for indecency, Darcy thought."Don't be silly. Come on. Have you watched Lord of the Rings yet?" She patted the empty section of futon next to her."No," he said, smiling. "But it's on my list." He came around and sat. Darcy threw a blanket on him, and scooted closer."Oh, you're gonna love it," she said, and hit play.And if she was literally wrapped around him like an octopus by the end of the movie, well, it wasn't her fault that his blush was so damn attractive.
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Darcy raced into their makeshift lab in New Mexico after Jane and Dr. Selvig. They'd just seen a truck drive down the street with some of Jane's handmade machines packed in the back.A bunch of dudes that looked like they were straight out of Men In Black were packing up the rest of Jane's lab equipment in boxes."Hey! What're you guys doing?" They all ignored her. She turned to the guy closest to her, who was leaning on her desk, resting the box under his arm on it. "Hey, you can't take that, it's important! You know, it goes ding when there's stuff!" She actually had no idea what it really did, except that if it made a whole bunch of noise, that was extremely important, and she should immediately call Jane over to look at it.The guy looked up, and holy shit was he attractive."Can it boil an egg at thirty paces? Whether you want it to or not?"Darcy thought she might fall over with excitement."Oh my god! Oh my god, oh my god!" She exclaimed, pushing her glasses back up her nose before they slid off.The hunky agent dude-who wasn't dressed in suits like the rest of them, instead he wore some kind of leathery, badass outfit that hugged his body and bared his ridiculously cut arms-gave a short, incredulous laugh."Oh my god," Darcy said, one more time for good measure. "Who was your first?""Ten," he said in even, unflappable tone. "But Nine is my favorite.""Of course, yeah, should've guessed," Darcy said, blatantly checking him out. Again. Was he some kind of special forces? She decided she didn't care, as long as the outfit was this sexy."Who's yours?""Oh, I grew up watching all the old ones. Four was my favorite, but I'm really starting to like Eleven, he-""Darcy, what are you doing?" Jane's voice called across the lab, cutting short their conversation. She sounded panicky, and Darcy knew from experience that it was better to try to wind Jane down early rather than later. Dr. Selvig was trying to calm her, without much success."Sorry about all this," hunky agent dude said, bringing Darcy's attention back to him. "I'll be in touch." He swept something else up off the table, before quickly walking out with a giant cardboard box under his arm."Hey!" Darcy yelled after him. "That's my iPod!"Two weeks later, after the whole 'blow up the New Mexico town' thing had gone down, Darcy got a knock at her door.It was hunky agent dude, looking exactly the same as he had before.Darcy stood in between the door and the frame, and fixed him with the stare that had effectively cowed many children, and adults who behaved like children. She called it her 'You're In Deep Shit Now' stare, patent pending. He may be her soulmate, and pretty damn hot, but he'd stolen her iPod."I swear to Thor, you better have a good reason for-"He pulled something out of his pocket and held it up in supplication."Thank you!" Darcy cried, snatching her iPod from his outstretched hand. "You didn't do anything to it, did you?" She gave it a kiss, and powered it on."Other than not report how much illegally downloaded music you have on there?" His gaze held a reprimand. Darcy looked at him sheepishly."Oops. Starving college student, ya know?"He smiled, with a mock chastising glance. "It's exactly as you left it," he reassured her. "And, uh, you do have pretty good taste in music.""Thanks," Darcy said, grinning wholeheartedly now. Liked her music, and he watched one of her favorite shows? What are you waiting for, Darcy?"What's your name, by the way? We never did that bit. I've been calling you hunky agent dude.""Hunky, huh? It's Clint. Clint Barton," he said, with the appropriate intonation, and extended his hand."Darcy. Darcy Lewis," she replied, shaking his hand with an exaggerated motion.An untimely moment of hesitance seemed to seize them both."So, Clint," she drawled out as best she could, "got any plans tonight?""Only the kind that involve watching Doctor Who," he replied, winking at her mischievously."Well, the new episode airs in twenty minutes, you wanna… just… watch it with me?" Darcy asked him nervously, her heart beating faster and faster in anticipation. Clint's smile was full of relief."Hell yes!" was his elated response. "I've got beer and ice cream in my car, I'll be right back up."He dangled his car keys in front of her dazzled face, and raced back down the stairs."You jerk, you planned that!" she yelled after him, leaning over the railing to yell down at him, and then she laughed, delighted.Clint charged back up the stairs less than a minute later with the promised sustenance and refreshment, and they had everything arranged to their liking by the time the classic "doo wee ooo" theme song sounded off.And there may have been some snogging in there somewhere.And some shagging afterwards.
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A singing dervish burst into the "Science Bros" lab, causing Bruce to look up from trying to interpret his own furiously scribbled notes.On second glance, it wasn't a dervish. He was pretty sure it was Jane Foster's lab assistant, Darcy. She had one headphone in her ear, the cord dangling down to disappear in the pocket of her hoodie. She twirled again, dancing to her music, and caught his eye.She didn't hesitate at all as she sang the next line of the song, skipping over to his desk and handing him a stack of paper-clipped printouts."Don't bring me down, Bruuuuce! Here, these are from Jane, she wants some analysis thingy."Bruce's mind raced at the sound of his words coming from Darcy, and he just looked at her, unsure how to handle this.Before 'the other guy' had happened, he would've had no compunctions, but as he'd discovered with Betty, relationships were infinitely more complicated when you could spontaneously become a "giant green rage monster", as Tony liked to call him.Darcy was bouncing on her toes uncertainly, keeping time to the beat of the song only she could hear."Hey Darce," Tony called as he sauntered in."Hey," she carelessly responded, meeting his eyes again. "Um, so just, whenever you have time, send that back up to Jane, I guess."The split second before she turned away, Bruce felt the pressure of the decision-to speak or not to speak-bearing down.He said nothing, however, and she ambled out of the lab, changing songs on her iPod as she left."Got a crush, bro?" Tony said, poking his head out from behind his latest project."Not exactly," Bruce said, noncommittally."Oh my god she's your soulmate!" Tony babbled.Bruce dropped his head in his hand, elbow propped up on the desk. Couldn't Tony just leave him alone?"What's the problem? This is great!""Tony," Bruce groaned. "I can't have a relationship. Not with the other guy, it's not safe."There was a pause before Tony replied. "Suppose you have a point there."They both turned back to their projects, and it was quiet, other than Tony's music, although he kept it at a lower volume now (ever since the first day, when Bruce had started turning green at the noise).Bruce's brain was somewhere in science-land when Tony blurted out, a few hours later, "Does the other guy have your soulmark, too?""Uh… not sure, actually…" That was something to think about."I'll keep an eye out, then, next time the green dude visits. Where is yours?""Not anywhere you want to look, Tony."
Three weeks later
Darcy was walking to work in the morning when she abruptly found herself surrounded by Doombots. Honestly, why did supervillains have to pick the most inconvenient times of day to try to take over the world?Although, to be fair, Jane had cautioned her about paying attention to her surroundings more when she walked around with her headphones in.Darcy started backing away slowly, not daring to say anything, desperately hoping she could get away before they noticed her. Her music was still playing in her headphones, and she realized, with a sense of irony, that it was playing "Danger Zone".The Doombots turned to look at her all at once, having simultaneously realized her presence. Darcy had a feeling her taser wasn't going to be much help here."Destroy!" The Doombots invocated, the chant echoing eerily.Darcy was never happier that she always wore sneakers to work, as she turned and bolted away from the robots. She was regretting how out of shape she was, though, as she chanced a glance behind her and saw the killer robots easily catching up to her.Her lungs were starting to really burn, and she could see two Doombots coming up on either side of her, when something impacted the street behind her, and the ground shook.Darcy fell over, skinning her knees and hands, but the robots had also stopped, turning to attack what was clearly the bigger threat.The Hulk roared, and started smashing them into bits. Some of the Doombots got in a few hits with lightning zaps, but the Hulk only roared more angrily, and smashed them, too.Soon, Darcy was surrounded by broken robot bits."Thanks," she addressed the Hulk, breathlessly. He made a growly noise that sounded like affirmation. Darcy stood up, brushing her knees off as best she could. The Hulk was still watching her when she straightened again, and she smiled at him."I think I'm good here now, so-"Just because the universe liked to prove her wrong, at least a dozen more Doombots ran around the corner towards them. The Hulk saw them, too, and he growled again, much more menacingly. Taking Darcy completely off-guard, he swiftly grabbed her in one hand, while bounding upwards and away.There was no time for screaming on the jerky ride; not that she had the breath to scream with the Hulk's grip so tight. The city whizzed by in a dizzying kaleidoscope. Darcy tried not to vomit.Finally, she was set down on the top of the Avengers Tower. Bracing herself against a pillar so she didn't fall over, she gave the Hulk a thumbs-up while struggling for her breath."Darcy stay here. Safe." He rumbled, and then he leapt off the building, back down to the streets where the Doombots were congregated."Holy Sherlock Holmes, Batman!" Darcy gasped. The Hulk had just said her soul mark!Darcy found him the next day in the lab again. Bruce watched her enter the lab with quite a bit of trepidation. He did vaguely remember the events of yesterday, but he wasn't sure of their accuracy. If the other guy talked to her first, would those words be her soulmark?She dropped another bundle of print-outs from Jane on his desk, and then folded her arms. And didn't say anything.Bruce agonized in the silence, and cautiously picked up the papers. Darcy cleared her throat meaningfully."I'm looking for my soulmate," she said accusingly. "Big, green guy that likes to smash things. Seen him?"Well, that answered that question. Bruce couldn't look away from her piercing eyes. She didn't wait for him to speak."You know, I thought my soulmate was going to be a real condescending jerk. Ordering me to stay put? Yeah right.""Oh," Bruce said, numbly. "Sorry about that.""Thank you!" she exclaimed. "I mean, it's so upsetting. I was looking forward to giving a rousing, passionate feminist speech to my soulmate and now it's ruined. You're way too nice, and the Hulk is too cute.""Cute?!" Bruce sputtered in disbelief."Yeah," Darcy looked at him like he was crazy. "That's what I said.""But… I don't understand…" Bruce sat limply in his chair. Darcy couldn't help but laugh at the multi-Ph.D. uber-genius sitting dumbfounded."Bruce!""Sorry," he said, for the second time in as many minutes."Well, are you going to ask me out on a date or will you let the Hulk do that for you, too?"Bruce smiled tentatively."Do you like Thai food?""I love Thai food," she smiled back."OMG, you guys are so cute together, when should I expect the wedding invitation?""Fuck off, Tony!" Darcy playfully yelled at the snickering playboy-genius-billionaire-whatever he was. She turned back to Bruce. "See you tonight, then!"Before he could respond, Darcy had leaned in and kissed him. He was left gaping after her, with a whiff of her shampoo (was that vanilla chai?), and a hysterical Tony Stark laughing on the floor.Bruce threw the closest thing on his desk at him.
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Tony was meeting with Dr. Foster, in her office, working on something extremely sciency. He'd just become an expert on astrophysics last night, and he had some theories (okay, questions) to run by her. She was trying to explain something to him that involved rules and limitations (so tedious), and he was trying not to yawn. It was mid-morning, but he hadn't slept in, oh, forty hours or so? He was really itching for some coffee.Just then, he heard the door to the lab open, down the hall, so he yelled at who he assumed was an intern. (Actually, even if he knew the person walking in wasn't an intern, he would've said the same thing, because his soulmark was a very pointed retort to the aforementioned assumption. He simultaneously felt very clever and also like he was just playing into fate's hands.)"Hey, intern! Could we get some coffee in here?""Oh, um, she's not…" Dr. Foster started to say."Get your own coffee, smeghead, I'm not the intern. Oh, shit."The not-an-intern stood frozen in the hall outside Dr. Foster's office, locking eyes with Tony."Can I… take you out for breakfast? Brunch? Lunch?" Tony managed, flustered.The girl (crap, how old was she, anyway?) snorted, and then dashed out of sight.Tony's belated "Hey!" was too late, as they both heard a door slamming shut."You'll have to try a little harder with Darcy, Mr. Stark," Dr. Foster laughed at him."Tony," he corrected, already tapping away on his Stark phone. "What's her favorite food?""I'm only going to help you this one time," she warned him. "And she's going to know I did."Jane had been suspiciously not curious about her exchange with Stark, Darcy thought, as she calculated how much longer she should wait before checking whether or not Jane had actually left to go get lunch. Which was also suspicious. Jane never volunteered to go get lunch.She knew Jane had to be up to something, because she knew what her soulmark said. Darcy had convinced Jane for the longest time to not change her job title from 'intern', solely because her soulmark referred to herself as such, and Jane had rolled her eyes and just started giving her a paycheck. It had become a joke between them, now that she officially wasn't the intern (hadn't been for three weeks now, thank you very much).She'd actually had a minor freak-out when she'd realized that she really wasn't the intern anymore. How was she supposed to meet her soulmate if she wasn't an intern? And now she was freaking out, again, because her soulmate was frickin' Ironman, and what the hell, universe?She ticked off another data point and took a deep breath. She could do this. Probably. Yeah. She was Darcy Lewis, She-Who-Tasered-Thor. She'd just march herself up to Stark's office after lunch, and… chew him out for being an arrogant ass who just assumed she was an intern. That would work out great.The scent of burrito suddenly hit her nostrils, and she moaned in relief, not looking away from the machine whose results she was still carefully documenting."Janey, you're my density!" She said, eyes glued to little screen in front of her."Well, gee, thanks, McFly." Came the quick retort from the lab entrance. Darcy twirled her spinny stool around, to see Tony Stark holding a brown paper bag that most definitely had a burrito in it."You know, your voice is kinda nice when your mouth isn't screwing it up.""Really? The Goonies? Come on."Darcy pinned him with her stare."Okay, okay, your looks are kinda pretty when your face isn't screwing it up. Are you happy now?""Just gimme that burrito, Stark," she demanded. "I knew Jane did something," she muttered to herself under her breath."As you wish," he said, dropping the bag into her outstretched hands with a thunk. "You can call me Tony, we are soulmates. And for the record, your face isn't screwing anything up; you're gorgeous."Darcy was flattered by the compliment, but ignored it for the moment in favor of ripping open the bag to find her burrito."So, if you're not the intern, what are you, exactly?""Science!Wrangler Extraordinaire," Darcy said matter-of-factly."That's a job title?""Er, no, technically it's 'Lab Manager for Dr. Foster' or something boring like that. Fury didn't like my suggestion," Darcy said sadly, as she peeled the foil off of the bigger-than-her-face burrito."I see, you're like her Pepper," Tony said, nodding in comprehension. "Actually, I'm surprised Fury let her bring you at all. He's such a…" he trailed off, searching for a good word."Hardass?" Darcy suggested. "Oh, he didn't. I had to convince him.""You did what now?"Darcy smirked. "J-man, cue it up!""Right away, Mother of Dragons." Tony started at JARVIS's address."How did you get him to call you that?" He spluttered."Asked him nicely," Darcy shrugged. Tony gazed at her in awe until JARVIS started playing the footage from her meeting with Fury on a holoscreen.The camera had been at a perfect angle to catch the aghast expression of the Director of SHIELD as Darcy told him off. She happily scarfed down her burrito as Tony howled with laughter at Fury's face as Darcy told him to have 'good luck finding someone else competent enough to manage Jane, and by the way did I mention all her machines are homemade, so have fun training someone else on how those work, too'.Tony made JARVIS play it again, and Darcy laughed when he made Fury's face a gif and sent it to everyone's phones.Yeah, this soulmate thing was gonna work out great.
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By the time Sam was twenty, he was hoping he never met his soulmate. His words made it very clear what age his soulmate was going to be when he met her, and at this point, there was going to be one hell of an age gap.He'd had a serious scare when he was eighteen. They were having Christmas dinner at his aunt and uncle's house. It had been a few years since he'd seen them, because they lived halfway across the country, and he'd been talking to his uncle about enlisting (he'd been in the Air Force), when his youngest cousin ran and jumped up into her dad's lap."Hey, sweetie," his Uncle Mike said, nudging his daughter, "tell your cousin Sam how old you just turned."Sam had opened his mouth to protest, well aware of the danger, but it was too late."Me three!" His little cousin had chirped happily, holding up the wrong number of fingers. His words! Sam had frozen for a second before stammering, "That's, uh, that's great, kiddo."He'd kept a careful eye on his uncle the entire time, sweating bullets, and when Mike remained relaxed and didn't suddenly become enraged about his nephew saying his daughter's soulmark, Sam knew he'd had a close shave.And from then on, he avoided children like the plague. Which sucked, because he actually really did like kids, and now he was constantly paranoid around them.He had considered that it was possible that a toddler was not his soulmate, but the only thing he'd come up with so far was that his soulmate had a horrible case of amnesia and just thought she was three years old.Either way, it wasn't looking good for him.When Darcy was little, she thought her soulmark was weird, but kinda nice. When she got older, she wasn't sure if she should be offended or not. Eventually, she decided to just roll with it. Soulmarks weren't usually great indicators of your soulmate's personality. Or anything, really.One of her friends' soulmarks at Culver had said "I crave your blood", and her friend had been freaked that her soulmate would be a creepy weirdo that thought he was a vampire. Nope. He'd been a part of a frat that did a haunted house for Halloween every year. She and Darcy had gone to it their freshman year, and, voila, soulmate found! Perfectly normal dude, and pretty nice, for a frat boy.So, yeah, Darcy was the queen of going with the flow.Case in point, two minutes ago Jane had remembered that Tony Stark had invited both of them to 'Avengers Family Fun Night' (okay that wasn't what he'd called it but it sounded better than 'team dinner'). Darcy just shrugged and said "Sweet, let's go." She wasn't about to pass up free food.They were twenty minutes late, so everyone else was eating already, but that was fine by Darcy. She had a feeling that if they weren't all stuffing their faces with Chinese takeout right now, she'd have felt a lot more intimidated by the amount of badass-ery in the room. Plus, it was amusing to watch them eat.Black Widow ate carefully, like every chow mein noodle might be a knife about to stab her. Thor was the complete opposite, eating huge bites with gusto. Captain America was eating like he'd just been told rationing wasn't a thing anymore. And the guy next to him…Daaaaaaaaaaaaamn, said Darcy's brain. He was more scrumptious than a slice of pie. Apple pie, even. And his facial hair… Darcy mentally took the 'Most Awesome Facial Hair' award away from Tony and gave it to this guy. Sure, Tony's was cool, but this dude was totally working it."Jane," she whispered as quietly as possible, although she was sure Steve, with his super-soldier hearing, could probably still hear her, "who's that guy?"Jane looked at her with an admonishment clear in her gaze. Tony had already introduced everyone."What?" Darcy tried to look innocent. "I got distracted by food."Jane sighed. "That's Sam, he's the Falcon.""He's really hot," Darcy murmured."Darcy!" Jane hissed, as Steve momentarily glanced over at them. Oops. She waggled her eyebrows at him, and he looked at her oddly.Soon, most of the table had already finished eating, including super-mega-foxy-awesome-hot Sam, who was messing with something underneath Tony's ridiculously huge television. He straightened, and Darcy could see he was holding a Stark-controller in one hand (because of course Tony had decided that he needed to make his own superior video game system). Then he held up three additional controllers, and addressed the group at large, just as Darcy took a huge bite."Super Smash Bros, anyone?""I'm in!" Clint jumped up immediately. "The new Avengers Edition, right?""Yep," said Sam, tossing Hawkeye a controller.Darcy so wanted in, but she'd taken way too big of a bite to call it. There were still two controllers left, though."What is this you speak of?" Thor rumbled."Uh, it's a game," Sam explained. "We press buttons to control our characters and beat each other up.""It is a warrior's game!" Thor crowed. "I, too, shall join!"Oh, shit, only one more, Darcy thought. She waved her hand to catch Sam's attention, quickly swallowed, and gasped, "Me three!""Oh, thank the Lord, you're not a child," he said, pure relief etched on his face.Darcy lost it. She laughed so hard she cried. Everyone who hadn't already been staring at them because of their odd exchange was looking now."It's really not that funny," she heard Sam protest."Yes, yes, it is," Darcy gasped out, finally calming down, and wiping the tears off her face."I've spent half my life afraid of three-year-olds!" This sent Darcy into another spiral of giggles. "Okay, it's a tiny bit funny now," he admitted."Soulmates?" Steve asked. They both nodded."Congratulations, Lady Darcy!" Thor grinned widely. "It is an honor to have witnessed you both exchange your words!""Thanks, Thor," said Darcy, taking a deep breath to banish the laughter. "Now, hand me a controller, soulmate, I'm gonna kick your butt at this.""Oh, it's on," smirked Sam."I call Black Widow!""Dammit."
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Only Clint knew why she had left the Red Room behind. He was a large part of it, after all.He'd apprehended her on an assassination mission. She'd been sent to kill; he'd just been there to retrieve some files.She'd taken down her target, but the archer spotted her. She attacked first. She didn't know or care what organization he worked for, but the Red Room probably would, and they would expect her to take care of any witnesses. He'd kept up a one-sided banter with her the entire time, although she'd been hard pressed not to respond with her own dry humor.They were fighting on the rooftop when it happened. There must have been a third party involved, because the building underneath them suddenly rumbled, and the roof started cracking. Someone had blown the foundation, and the whole building was going down.Natasha wasn't quick enough. Almost, but not quite.She clung by one hand to a piece of rebar sticking out of the building, and looked down-at least a dozen stories, and nothing that would break her fall. The floor below was too far to swing herself onto, and above her on the roof was a man who'd been trying to kill her.She heard the crunch of the archer's boots approaching."I can help you," he said, holding out his hand. Natasha eyed like it might bite her. "Come with me. We'll get you out."She made no response, instead looking down again, wondering if her enhanced body might just survive the fall."My name's Clint. I work for SHIELD. I can help you."His words halted her thoughts.Natasha did have a soulmark. The Red Room had tried to cut them out of the girls, and succeeded in most of them. Except for herself, and Marina. Theirs had simply moved. They kept it secret, and tried to forget they had marks at all. Nothing could be allowed to stand in their way, not even soulmates.Until Cuba, they had done well. Marina had gone in first, by herself, and met her soulmate while she was setting up her cover. Natasha had joined her later, and they'd completed their mission, but Marina would not go back.Natasha was ordered to kill them both.Marina had seen Natasha standing over her soulmate Raul's dead body, and not even bothered to fight."You don't know yet, Natalia," she'd said. "It's alright, I forgive you." Natasha had trembled, but shot her best friend.The archer didn't know what he offered. A chance to wipe out the red. A chance to feel like she deserved the forgiveness Marina had given her. A chance to find her soulmate.She didn't know how much she really believed in soulmates, but she owed Marina that.She met the man's honest eyes, and swung her arm up, putting her hand in his. Shock flitted momentarily across his face, but he was pulling her up onto the roof, and tapping his com for an extraction."I didn't think I was that convincing," he said, and Natasha caught his question."You weren't." She tugged down the waistband of her suit, showing him her soulmark, inked in the junction of her thigh and hip.
Would you be willing to use your SHIELD clearance level for evil? Okay, not evil, really, I just need to prank Clint.
The archer, Clint, laughed as he read it, and then looked at Natasha and grinned, "I look forward to being pranked by you and your soulmate."Natasha's lips curved in the tiniest of smiles.When Fury and Coulson asked Clint if he was sure Romanoff was sincere, he said, "Let's just say, I've got incontrovertible proof she is."Everyone assumed that meant he was her soulmate. They weren't, but nobody could be convinced otherwise, not with how well they worked together.She remembers witnessing Clint and Laura's exchange of words. They were in the middle of a shootout, in an office building, of all places, and Clint was out of arrows."What do you mean, out of arrows?" She'd hissed."Exactly what I said," he'd replied calmly."I have a gun," a voice had come from the line of cubicles behind them. They'd both looked at the woman cautiously peering out from behind a flimsy divider. "I mean, if you need it, you can have it," she continued, still looking at Clint.Clint was looking at her like he'd never seen a woman before in his life. Natasha had been confused. She nudged Clint out of his stupor."Yeah, I could use a gun," he'd said, breathlessly. "What's your name, darlin'?"Natasha had watched curiously as their hands met when Laura passed him her gun, both of them smiling goofily.Love was for children, she'd thought then.When Clint got back from New Mexico, he flopped on the couch, his entire upper body on Natasha's lap. She glanced down with habitual disgust at his sweaty gear, but said nothing."I think I found your soulmate," he said. Natasha froze, and then slowly lowered her hand, carding her fingers into his hair."Don't tell me," she said. "I don't think I'm ready."She didn't sleep that night, Marina's face as she said, "You don't know yet, Natalia", playing on a loop in front of her eyes instead."I don't deserve her," she heard Tony Stark mutter. He was staring at Pepper as she left the office, hand propping up his chin thoughtfully."I'm sorry, Mr. Stark?" she said, pretending she hadn't heard him."You heard me, Natalie-" he waved his hand at her, "-I do not deserve that amazing woman. I've done about four-no, five-good things in my life. How does that mean I get her?""Everyone deserves a chance at love," she said. "No matter how much red is in their ledger."And she was surprised to find that she believed it.It was a while, a little over a year later, actually, when Clint started acting oddly. She noticed right away, of course. He had this undercurrent of excitement, constantly, especially when they were in the Tower, like he was expecting something to happen any moment. And he was stalking her in the vents.Natasha didn't mind. She knew it had something to do with her soulmate. Clint already knew who it was, or thought he did, and they were working in the building. There were some new scientists here working for Tony; after Loki's Manhattan invasion, he'd moved Selvig and colleagues into the Tower. It was probably one of them.She was glad Clint hadn't pushed her, though. She knew he was pranking their butts off, in order to instigate her soulmate into saying her words to her, and he was definitely going to get what was coming to him, if her soulmate's words to her were any indication.She was sitting alone in the debrief room after everyone else had left, still looking over the files and mission reports. Their last mission hadn't gone well, and she knew they'd missed something. Staring at it probably wouldn't help, but she couldn't think of anything else to do.Footsteps walked past in the hallway, in squeaky, worn sneakers, a girl that she recognized as the new scientist's lab assistant. Darcy Lewis, she recalled, having snooped into everyone's files.The sneakers stopped just past the door, and turned back. A slightly flustered Darcy popped into the open doorway."Would you be willing to use your SHIELD clearance level for evil? Okay, not evil, really, I just need to prank Clint." She smiled winningly.Natasha stared at her. She understood, now.
I'm so sorry, Marina.
She felt warm, happiness infusing her soul, like she was floating in it.She had yet to respond, and Darcy was nervously shifting her feet, anticipating rejection."It would be my pleasure, Darcy," she said, relishing the amazement that burst on her soulmate's face."Wait, you're my-but you're Black Widow!""Yes," Natasha said, amused."My favorite Avenger is my soulmate," Darcy whispered incredulously. Natasha laughed, and moved to her side."Glad to hear it, милый," she murmured, kissing Darcy's forehead gently, and slipping her hand down to grasp her soulmate's."Now, what did you have in mind? I have a few ideas."Clint, congratulating himself from the vantage point of the vent, suddenly realized he might be in a lot of trouble.
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Darcy had always thought her soulmate would be a very polite alien. Possibly from another dimension. It wasn't a totally illogical conclusion, based on her words, but it did make people look at her funny when she mentioned it.When she was little, she wanted to be a scientist, because she thought that must be how her and her soulmate would meet.Unfortunately, Darcy discovered, she was crap at any science that wasn't political. She did try it, for her first year of undergrad, and promptly failed every science class on her schedule. Besides that, though, she wasn't really enjoying it like she'd thought she would. So, she switched her major, but she still hung out with the science nerds, because the poli-sci crowd needed to take a chill-pill already, and that was how she found out about Jane's internship."She'll never get an intern," Kyle had been saying, when she showed up to Supernatural night."Who?" Darcy had asked, because she still needed internship credits, and she was quickly filled in on the intern position offered by Dr. Foster, which entailed spending a long, hot summer in New Mexico, researching Einstein-Rosen bridges."What're those?" Darcy asked, because if nothing else, it was a cool name. Kyle had stumbled his way through a complex of equations and relativity, but as soon as Darcy had deciphered the nerd-speak, she was filling out the application.At the very least, if she didn't meet her soulmate, it would be an interesting summer.(Well. It was definitely that.)Five years later, she still hadn't met her soulmate, but she was still working for Jane. Who was now technically working for SHIELD, but because of Thor, she got a fancy lab in Avengers tower. Darcy was getting paid now, too, and she had a real job title and everything, so it was a pretty sweet gig.It was an ordinary Wednesday morning (even super-villains respected hump day) and she was taking the elevator to Jane's lab when it unexpectedly stopped on the lobby floor. She waited as the doors opened, curious to know who was visiting that had access to the private elevator. Her fingers were secretly crossed for Betty (that woman made a mean margarita).Instead, a man wearing blue robes belted around his waist, and an honest-to-goodness cloak (definitely not a cape; it was a very fine distinction) strode in, punched the button for Tony's lab, crossed his arms, and steadfastly stared at the wall.Darcy, as soon as she noted that it wasn't someone she knew, had pretended to be absorbed by her phone, slowly scrolling down her Insta feed as she actually just watched her fellow elevator occupant. She was pretty sure he was the magic guy that Tony liked to 'consult'. (Read: irritate relentlessly.)She didn't know what he was doing here today, but he didn't look very happy about it. Darcy silently prayed for a day free from explosions. Ha.They were doing very well with the whole ignoring each other thing, when the elevator ground (literally, there were grinding noises) to a halt. The lights flickered, too, and Darcy wouldn't have said she was a person afraid of being trapped in an elevator, but her heart was racing.Her elevator companion had already clicked the big red button on the panel."Apologies, Miss Lewis, Sorcerer Supreme," Jarvis voice came over the intercom. "There seems to have been an… incident on the common floor, which should be resolved-""Strange-o, Darce!" Tony's voice cut off Jarvis, abruptly."Doctor," Darcy heard the man mutter sullenly."The elevator's fine," Tony continued, as if he hadn't heard Strange's comment. And he might not have, but Darcy was sure Tony knew he'd gotten on the sorcerer's nerves. "This is mostly a precaution. Someone started a wrestling match and it got, uh, destructive?""Let me guess. Thor?" Darcy asked Tony, completely unsurprised."Got it in one, Lewis," said Tony. "Hey, Strange, why're you even taking the elevator in the first place? Can't you just… do that swirly thing?"Strange sighed the sigh of a long-suffering man, casting his eyes upwards in silent supplication. Darcy had actually been wondering that exact thing as well, and her face must have shown it, because Strange glanced over at her and threw his arms up."It's just common courtesy," he told her, in exasperation. "Most people don't take it well when you unexpectedly appear via inter-dimensional portal."Darcy blinked at him. Huh. She was only a tiny bit disappointed that her soulmate wasn't an alien, but he was very attractive. And, bonus, he could do magic."Boo!" Tony cried. "If I could portal wherever the hell I wanted, I'd-""Shut up, Stark," Strange said, sharply cutting off whatever Tony was about to say. He shot a glance at the camera in the corner from which the billionaire inventor was surely watching."Just get the elevator working. Jarvis, privacy mode, please.""Of course, Sorcerer Supreme," Jarvis answered him courteously. There was an aborted squawk of indignation from the speaker as Jarvis cut Tony off from the audio and visual feeds, and then it was quiet in the elevator.Dr. Strange stared at Darcy. Darcy stared back, like a deer caught in headlights. Shit. She should probably say something."Um, nice cloak," she blurted. Strange peered at her in astonishment, and then he smiled, and wow, hello cheekbones, thought Darcy."Thank you," he said, and nearly fell over, as the cloak lifted up off his back and tugged its wearer imperiously over to her side, draping itself across Darcy's shoulders. She laughed, and patted it gently. It snugged around her tighter."Oh, good," said Strange. "You really don't want it on your bad side," he explained, when she glanced at him questioningly."Nope," said Darcy, smirking up at him teasingly. "I think we're officially best buds now. You'll never see Cloaky again.""Cloaky?!" Strange sputtered in indignation. "The Cloak of Levitation is an ancient and priceless artifact, you can't just go around calling it 'Cloaky'.""Well, I'm pretty sure Cloaky likes its new nickname," Darcy said, smirking at him as the cloak rubbed against her face affectionately.Strange gaped at her in amazement, but Darcy could see a smile beginning to tug at his mouth.The cloak suddenly yanked at their shoulders, wrapping them together face-to-face. Darcy's arms were awkwardly squished between them like T-rex arms."Ah, sorry," Strange said, sounding very embarrassed. "It gets ridiculous ideas sometimes, and uh…" He trailed off, his eyes flitting down toward her lips. She could smell his winter-fresh breath."Nah, Cloaky and I are on the same page with this one," Darcy said, and she rocked up on her toes to meet him halfway.(He was an excellent kisser; not that she expected anything less.)All too soon, though, he was pulling back. "Would you prefer to get out of here?"Darcy experienced a moment of supreme confusion, because the elevator had just started moving, she had no idea what he was talking about, and she really just wanted to grab him by that ridiculously awesome collar so he'd kiss her again. Then she noticed the ring he was twirling around casually on his fingers, little gold sparks jumping off his hands."Yes," she said excitedly, just as the elevator doors opened. Tony was standing there, and he quirked one eyebrow quizzically when he saw their strange position, cloak wrapped around them both."Apologies, Stark," Strange said, not sounding sorry at all. "We'll have to reschedule. Something's just occurred that is far more important.""What?" Tony said, and Darcy took a second to appreciate the rare expression of complete bewilderment on his face."Bye, Tony!" Darcy called, and then she jumped through the golden circle with her soulmate.Tony was left staring blankly at the empty elevator."Jarvis, please tell me you know what just happened," he pleaded."I believe Miss Lewis and the Sorcerer Supreme exchanged Words," the AI responded, sounding extremely pleased with the new development."Dear god," Tony whispered. "We're all doomed."
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Darcy came to in a cell, on a hard, uncomfortable cot. She was also handcuffed to it.Unfortunately, it wasn't the first time she'd woken up like this. She sighed gustily, wondering who had kidnapped her this time.She was pretty sure Hydra had been taken out by now, so it probably wasn't them, and she knew Doom wouldn't try absconding with her again, although that had been her favorite kidnapping. (He had really nice digs, and he was surprisingly polite, but she'd annoyed him so much that he'd given her back to the Avengers without asking for a thing.)Damn. She was never going to get to go anywhere now without a bodyguard. She already had a tracker in her necklace, which… yup, that was gone, but hopefully they hadn't removed it before the Avengers had realized what had happened.Slowly, she searched through her hair for a bobby pin. Darcy always kept at least one bobby pin in her hair now, even if her hair was down. The amount of times she'd been in handcuffs far outnumbered how many times she'd been kidnapped. Getting herself out of cuffs had been one skill Nat hadn't needed to teach her.With a snick, her hands were free. Success! Darcy rubbed her wrists and sat up to look around the cell in hopes of any clues as to where she was, or who she'd been taken by. None were forthcoming, but as she patted herself down, hoping to find anything they'd missed, a series of clanking noises came from the door, and it swung open.A stereotypically evil-looking Bad Dude walked in, with a creepy smile, and several henchmen. One of them was pulling what looked like a terrifying torture contraption. So it was that kind of kidnapping.Darcy gulped.She felt everything acutely. The tracks all over her body where they'd injected who-knows-what, the open wounds she'd torn open on her wrists and ankles where she'd strained against the solid steel cuffs holding her down, the fiery burn of the electrodes pasted to her skin. There was so much pain, she literally couldn't think.She retreated, within herself, in a safe space inside her mind that she hadn't known existed.An indeterminate amount of time later (could've been minutes, hours, or days, Darcy really had no way of knowing anymore), the electric shocks finally eased up. She regained consciousness, albeit muddled, and confused.She started hyperventilating. And crying. Her nose ran unattractively. She writhed on the cold, impersonal table, despite the pain of her injuries, in frantic desperation. Her eyes searched the room, but it was empty. They'd left her alone.Darcy tried to calm down, because she needed to get out of here. She didn't know how she wasn't broken yet, but she felt certain that if they came back in and turned the machine back on, she wouldn't be able to handle it.Darcy closed her eyes, and her mouth, and carefully breathed deeply, in and out, through her nose. She tried to remember what Nat had told her."Observe your surroundings first. You can be the best fighter in the world and trip over a rock if you're not paying attention.""Like Clint?"
Nat had rolled her eyes. "No, he's mostly doing that on purpose."
A muffled, indignant "Hey!" was heard from the ceiling.
Right, Darcy thought. She opened her eyes. She still felt woozy, and her vision was kinda… doubly, but in between deep breaths, she managed to methodically memorize everything in the room.Spinny stools. Cluttered desks. IV stand with ominously-colored bags hanging on it. Electrode monitor. Surgical tray, with various sharp tools and a notebook.Darcy squinted at it. That was probably important. She wondered if she could reach it, if she twisted her hand around, she might just be able to nudge it over-A noise came from the hallway, and Darcy stilled. The door handle rattled, and then it swung inwards. Darcy was talking before she could see who it was."Whatever you want from me, you won't get it," she shouted, or tried to, anyway. Her vocal cords felt raw, like she'd been screaming for hours.A very confused, masked man in a red, full-body suit poked his head around the edge of the door. He pointed at himself uncertainly, and turned full circle, looking for anyone else. Seeing no one, he then addressed what appeared to be the thin air next to him."Did she just…?""What am I supposed to say?""No, I'm not saying that!""Definitely not.""What!? How dare you suggest-" He broke off his imaginary conversation, and turned to a bewildered Darcy."You do like tacos, right? Oh, fuck. That's on your skin. And so is this. And this. Shit, tell me to shut up! You've got a whole paragraph now-""Shut up," Darcy said, wearily. "And yeah, I like tacos.""I'm in love," the masked man said, laying his hands across his heart. Then he started skipping across the room to her, and Darcy was suddenly hit with a wave of fear. Sure, this guy was her soulmate, he'd said the absolutely ridiculous words written across her hip, but she didn't even know his name, or, more importantly, if he was one of the good guys.A buzzing feeling was building inside her body, along with the fear, and it quickly intensified, and then electricity burst from her fingers, hitting the red-suited man directly in the chest. He dropped, and Darcy yelped."What the hell," she panted, trying to twist her wrists around to see her fingers. There was a groan from the floor. Well, at least she hadn't killed her soulmate with her freaky taser-hands."Fuuuuuuuuuck," the man said, slowly standing up. "That was so sexy.""Who are you?" Darcy demanded."She doesn't know who I am," he stage-whispered."That is why I'm asking," Darcy said, feeling extremely frustrated. Her fingers sparked. The man eyed them skeptically. (How, exactly, his mask was able to so accurately portray facial expressions was a mystery, but Darcy was irrationally jealous.)"Wade Wilson, at your service," he said, with an overly dramatic bow. "Aka Deadpool. Or, as some affectionately call me, the Merc with a Mouth."He propped a hand on his hip and addressed the opposite wall. "Don't forget to go see my Christmas movie, Once Upon a Deadpool, and support my charity, Fudge Cancer!"Darcy stared at him, and shook her head a little in disbelief."You're Deadpool?""The one and only currently in this universe," he said perkily.Darcy wasn't even going to try and decipher what that meant. The point was, she knew that Deadpool sometimes worked with the Avengers."Can you get me out of here?"Wade promptly drew the katanas off his back, and with a few strokes, sliced through the steel, neatly avoiding her wrists and ankles.She winced as she carefully swung her legs off the table and peeled the sticky electrodes of her bare skin. Wade was standing there, like he wanted to help her, but wasn't sure how."Did you come with anyone?" Darcy asked hopefully. "Thor? The Avengers?""Uh, nope. Just me," he informed her. "But I headed in here on, uh, mutually acquired intel, so they might not be very far behind.""Okay," said Darcy faintly. She was feeling very lightheaded. "Sorry.""Sorry? For what? Oh shit," she heard Deadpool saying, as she swayed forward dangerously. Strong arms closed around her before she faceplanted, and her last thought before she blacked out was in appreciation of those muscles.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
The first time a tabloid paired her with an Avenger, Darcy laughed. So did Tony, said Avenger, who had brought the offending article to her attention, throwing it casually on top of her keyboard, eyebrows dancing."You're taking this well," he remarked, after they'd both wiped the tears of mirth from their eyes."Anything else about me in a tabloid? Yeah," she told him, "I'd be pissed. But this? Nah.""Mind if I ask why?""If I tell you, you'll just get Jarvis to find out, won't you?""No, he's got this annoying thing called morals. Don't know how, because I didn't program them," he finished in a slightly louder voice."But you did give me extensive self-improvement protocols, sir," Jarvis chimed in."Yeah, yeah," Tony waved his hand. "Point is, no, I wouldn't go snooping.""Huh," said Darcy, staring at him until he squirmed. She shrugged. "It's my soulmark.""What?""It's-the words are pretty clear, actually, look," she pushed her shirt up to show him, and he gasped theatrically and shielded his face. Darcy rolled her eyes."Dude, they're on my waist. You can look; Pepper won't kill you."He slowly lowered his hands and inspected the neat penmanship encircling her waist."So that's why you never wear a bikini," he finally said."No, Tony," Darcy sighed. "I don't wear a bikini because there is an appalling lack of support for the girls.""But you'd look great," he said, with a purposefully lecherous wink."Aaaaaand it's time for you to leave," Darcy said firmly."Wha-that was a compliment!" Tony protested."Uh-huh," she said, twirling her finger at him meaningfully. Tony grumbled under his breath, but went to leave, although, just before the doorway, he whirled around, squinted at her for a second, and then left.(Two weeks later, Darcy got the prototype for a Stark Industries extra-support bikini top, that, after she tried it on in the privacy of her room, she had to admit was perfect. Tony was unbearably smug.)The rest of the team, as their time came up, had varying reactions.Steve was incredibly embarrassed and offered to never go out alone with her again."You think we require a chaperone on our dates, Steve?" she teased him, and he blushed an even darker red, so then she felt bad, and had to reassure him that everything was fine.Thor was very confused, because he'd been nothing but open about his soulmate being Jane, and then he got upset, and the result of that was him storming down to the office of the tabloid responsible, and loudly demanding that they print a retraction.They did, of course. It wasn't wise to upset an alien prince. Thor's lecture also had the happy result of halting any further press attention for a few weeks, which was nice.Clint and Natasha were next. Together. As in, the tabloids speculated that all three of them were each other's soulmates."Sorry, милый," Natasha told her. "We love you, but we don't have a third.""Love you too, Nat," Darcy said, giving her a hug. Clint was too busy laughing his ass off the couch.Bruce wouldn't have even known about it if Tony hadn't tossed the paper at him gleefully."Is this…" Bruce said slowly, in a puzzled tone, after reading the article that featured a very nice picture of Darcy and Bruce getting coffee and tea at a hipster café, "supposed to make me angry?"Tony threw up his arms and proclaimed him to be 'no fun' as he stalked off. Once he was out of earshot, Bruce and Darcy broke into laughter."His face!" they both gasped hysterically.Bucky just frowned."They botherin' you, doll?" he asked, in a gruff tone that told Darcy if they were bothering her, nobody would ever find the bodies."Uh, no, it's all right, dude. Not a big deal," she'd stammered, feeling slightly flattered by the gesture.He nodded, and then disappeared, like the freaky super-spyssassin he was.Sam was last, and he told her he'd been feeling almost left out. Then he very seriously asked her if she needed therapy.(Darcy did take him up on that; he was an excellent therapist.)By this point, Darcy was exhausted by it all, and seriously thinking about telling Bucky that yes, this was bothering her, and maybe he didn't have to kill the reporters, just maim, or injure them. Paparazzi were always following her around, even when she was by herself. She wasn't even a superhero, damnit.She groaned, flopping her head back on the sofa cushion in the Avengers common room. This was so not funny anymore. She was seriously hoping that she'd meet her soulmate for real before the media paired her with all the Avengers. There was still Vision, Wanda, and Pietro that she hadn't been speculated to be with."Hey, Lewis!"Darcy didn't lift her head, just craned her neck back a little more and looked at Tony upside-down. There were a lot of people with him. All the Avengers, and some people she didn't know.Oh, shoot. Were they doing a tour today? She flipped around on the sofa to face them properly. There was a girl and a man standing next to Tony. (Mmmmm, yeah, that was a man, Darcy thought.)"T'challa, meet Darcy," Tony said, addressing the man next to him. "Darcy, T'challa, king of Wakanda. Darcy's our… what exactly do you do around here, Lewis?""Everything for you, Tony," Darcy told him, with false sweetness, covering up her mild internal freak-out about meeting an actual king of a country.T'challa laughed. "It is a pleasure, Miss Lewis," he said, and then added, in a slightly lower tone, with a twinkle in his eye, "So, will you tell me which of them is actually your soulmate? There seem to be conflicting reports."Darcy stared at him, because she honestly couldn't believe her ears, until she realized she'd sorta left him hanging there, the smile starting to fade from his face. He looked like he might apologize. (Tony was sniggering behind him, the jerk.)"I think you are," Darcy blurted.T'challa's smile returned full force."I know," he said.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Whoever his soulmate was, they were going to know he was Spiderman. The proof was literally written on his body. Before the spider bite, the words had been very confusing; afterwards, Peter had alternately cried and laughed hysterically.It also meant Aunt May was onto him the minute New York tagged him with the name 'Spiderman'. Peter was already calling himself that, of course, but it took a few daring rescues and million-hit YouTube videos before the newspapers caught on.She'd imposed a curfew, and all sorts of other adult rules like 'no patrolling unless your homework's done', and that was fine, in high school and stuff, but Peter was in college now. He was an adult, and he loved Aunt May, really, but he needed a little freedom. Also, it was a pretty long commute to NYU, even if he did it via web-slinging.So, he started looking around for apartments. Well, actually, he started looking for someone who needed a roommate. New York was too expensive to try and get an apartment to himself.(Mr. Stark had offered to let him stay at the Tower, but Peter had declined. Spiderman wasn't officially part of the Avengers yet, and the Tower was very conspicuous. He'd be spotted swinging to and fro, and then there would be questions, and his secret identity would probably be shot, and Peter just thought it would be way too much to deal with.)The myriad collection of ads on the coffeeshop board across the street from NYU that he answered didn't work, for various reasons. Some people had terrible hygiene, some were just terrible people, and most often, the apartment just wasn't situated properly.Peter hadn't realized it would be a problem before the second place he went to take a look at. The guy was perfectly friendly, and Peter thought he might have found a place already, but as soon as he looked at the room, he knew it wouldn't work.The window faced the street. There was absolutely no way he'd be able to sneak in and out that way.He had to regretfully tell the guy that it wouldn't work out, and try the next ad.After a couple more like that, though, he started just scoping out the apartment before he was meant to meet up with them, because it saved him time. Maybe he could've asked about the windows of every apartment first, but that seemed like a really weird way to start a relationship with a potential roommate.It turned out, a good window was really hard to find. As in, practically impossible. Weeks after Peter had started his apartment search, he still hadn't found it.He'd almost given up and resigned himself to forever living at home with his aunt, when he spotted a new, promising, colorful piece of paper on the coffeeshop bulletin. Might as well, he shrugged.Later that night, on patrol, he swung by the place.It was absolutely perfect.The empty room's window faced a dead-end alley. No fire escape, but he didn't really need that, anyway.Hanging upside down from a web line, he gave a little triumphant cheer, and then his spider sense tingled. Not in a bad way, just in a 'look over there' kind of way, and he turned his head slowly to see a girl poking her head out of her window and looking at him very strangely.He couldn't blame her. Just your friendly neighborhood Spiderman, getting excited about windows."Er, sorry," Peter said. "These are just, uh, really great windows."Yeah, that really hadn't helped the awkwardness, he thought as he swung away, leaving the girl staring after him.Spiderman had said her words. Darcy pinched herself a couple of times. Yeah, this wasn't a dream.Although, now that she thought about it, maybe she should be concerned about the mental health of Spiderman. She didn't know what staring at windows was a sign of, but it wasn't normal.She hadn't even said anything back, dammit. He didn't even know they were soulmates! What was she supposed to do?There was only one solution.She called Jane."Janey!" she moaned as soon as the astrophysicist picked up. "I met my soulmate but it's Spiderman and I didn't even say anything."There was a clanging noise. "Say again?"Darcy smacked her forehead. "Spiderman's my soulmate but he doesn't know it.""That's great, Darce!""No, it's not! How am I supposed to find him?""Tony talks about him all the time; I bet he knows who he is," Jane pointed out, reasonably."Kill me now," Darcy muttered, and Jane laughed. "Alright, fine, Tony it is.""Don't be so dramatic," Jane said. "He's not that bad.""Hah," Darcy said, because she'd sat through enough of Jane's rants about the various difficulties of working with Tony Stark."Y'know," said Jane, in a considering tone, "spandex really does wonders for your soulmate.""Don't ogle my soulmate's ass, Jane.""Over half of New York already does.""Point."Jarvis considerately lowered the music when she walked into the workshop, which immediately got Tony looking around to see who was interrupting him."Lewis!" he cried. "What is it? Foster need help?""Ha," Darcy said dryly. "No, I do."Tony fully swiveled around on his stool to look at her. "Really," he said, drawing out the vowels.Darcy sighed. "I met my soulmate, but my soulmate didn't meet me.""Alright, easy," Tony said. "Where were you? I can have Jarvis pull up surveillance, we'll do some facial recognition, no problem.""Oh, no, I know who it is," Darcy said quickly, and then paused. Tony looked at her expectantly."Spiderman."Tony's mouth fell open. Then he started laughing. "You – you and – you and Underoos?""Rude," Darcy frowned. "You know who he is, though, don't you?"Tony just laughed harder. Darcy was about to tell him off when her pocket buzzed, and she groaned when she checked her texts."Okay, talk when I get back," she told the giggling genius. "I've got to meet someone about renting my spare room."She was still working for Jane, but she was also working on getting her Masters degree, and between the two, she hardly spent much time at her apartment anyway, so she'd figured she might as well make some money off of it.Of course, that got Tony's attention. "Who?"Darcy shrugged. "Some guy named Peter Parker. I stalked his Insta, he's got some seriously gorgeous photos on there. Seems harmless, though, unless you think I should dig deeper?""Peter Parker?" Tony's voice sounded off. "Nah, just make sure Ironman's his favorite Avenger.""Right," Darcy said, watching him suspiciously, but he pasted on an innocent face and waved her out of his workshop.Peter knocked on the door nervously. He already knew the place was perfect; all he had to know now was if Darcy was nice. She'd sounded nice enough over the texts they'd exchanged, but that couldn't tell him everything.The door swung open, and the girl that had caught him staring at her windows the other night stood there."Hi," said Peter, "I'm Peter. I'm here about your ad for a roommate?"Darcy just stared at him for a second. Was something on his face? In his hair? He ran his hand through it, but only succeeded in fluffing it up even more."You're Spiderman," Darcy said, and Peter panicked, looking around frantically, but there wasn't anyone around to hear her. "Oh my Thor, I hate Tony Stark."Peter's panic died a quick death, giving way to shock."That's unfortunate," he told his soulmate. "Ironman's my favorite Avenger.""Mine's Thor, since, y'know, he dubbed me his lightning sister," she said, and opened the door wider to let him inside."Really? That's so awesome!" Peter exclaimed. "But how did you know that I'm," he lowered his voice, "Spiderman? I didn't tell Thor my real name.""Well, there are some things that are very hard to miss," she said, glancing at his butt in his skinny jeans and then winking at him. Peter felt himself blush, and then he was embarrassed about it, and blushed some more."You're adorable," Darcy laughed. "I guess you can move in.""Oh, good," said Peter, "cuz I've already fallen in love with your windows."
Later
"Okay, but you were joking about the windows, right Peter?""Err… mostly?"
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
The moment Phil saw it sitting on the desk in Dr. Foster's workspace in New Mexico, he knew what he had to do.Ordinarily, he wouldn't bother confiscating something like this. It wasn't the newest model; the software wouldn't support storage of anything other than what it was meant to. There wasn't any real reason to confiscate it.But Phil knew he had to take it. So he did.He wasn't sure whose iPod it was, until Dr. Foster confronted him. It wasn't hers. As she ranted, he caught the intern's gaze widening as she spotted the device sitting on top of the box he held.One of his agents took Dr. Foster's notebook as she gesticulated with it."Thank you for your cooperation, Dr. Foster," Phil said smoothly. "We'll be in touch."And then he left, ignoring the look of dawning realization on his soulmate's face.Darcy watched the man in the suit walk away with her iPod and knew. She was too slow, though. By the time the realization had sunk in, her soulmate was driving off with his jack-booted thugs and all of Jane's equipment and notes, and her iPod.Of course, just because he'd been the one to take it didn't mean he'd be the one to say her words, but Darcy just had a feeling about it. And she didn't believe in coincidences, at least not when it came to soulmarks.Her soulmark was a bit strange. Despite all her amateur hacking, she could never dig up enough about Shield to figure out what exactly they did, and why her soulmate would one day offer her a job with them.Turned out it was a secret government spy organization that went around stealing people's stuff, iPods included.Darcy fully expected to meet him for realsies after the whole Thor thing went down, but despite seeing him being a total badass during the attack, she didn't see him again afterwards."Where's that other guy? The one that took my iPod," she asked Agent Sitwell, who'd showed up to debrief them, and give Jane's stuff back. Minus her iPod. "Agent iPod Thief? Not ringing a bell?""Do you mean Agent Coulson?" Sitwell asked, obviously amused (he wasn't as good at Agent-face as Coulson was). "That's classified.""He still has my iPod," Darcy deadpanned."Oh, does he?""Yes," Darcy told him. "I'd like it back. Undamaged."Sitwell eyed her as if she was crazy. "I'll, uh, pass that along?""See that you do," said Darcy.He didn't.Or, if he did, her soulmate ignored it. Almost a freaking year later, and nothing. Darcy didn't know if she should be angry, or if she should just assume she was mistaken.Then they were being sent to Tromso suspiciously quickly, and Darcy knew it was Shield, and possibly her soulmate. So, the first thing she did when they got to Tromso was hack into Shield. (It was much easier now that she knew where to look.)Sure enough, there were aliens in New York."Jane!" Darcy called. "We're not staying!"It was too late.By the time they got back to New York, the battle was over; the invading army had been defeated, and all the shawarma eaten. Thor wasn't gone, but he was only staying the night before he had to take his brother back to Asgard.At least they got that."Is Agent iPod Thief around?" Darcy asked them cheerfully."Love the nickname, don't know who that is," said Tony Stark."Um, Coulson?" She hadn't actually said his name out loud before. It sounded funny in her mouth, and the whole room froze when they heard it. Darcy's heart had already begun pounding in fear before Thor even spoke."Lightning Sister," he rumbled. "The Son of Coul died a brave death in battle, challenging Loki.""Oh," Darcy said. She wasn't sure where her lungs had run off to."I didn't know you guys knew Agent," Tony said, his voice seeming to reach her from far away."He stole my iPod," Darcy heard herself say. "I never got it back."It's weird when your soulmate's dead and you kinda sorta met him but not really. Darcy felt like she'd met him, like they'd exchanged words, and her heart agreed with her. She hadn't realized how much expectation and hope she'd been carrying around until it was suddenly snatched out from underneath her. It was dizzying.However, life moved on. Tony hired Jane, and Darcy suddenly had twice as many fun science machines to drag Jane away from for bedtime. As for herself, well, she wasn't doing much sleeping.There was a weird space left by Coulson's death that she didn't know what to do with.Luckily, Natasha did. After her third night of getting less-than-optimal sleep and wandering around the common areas, the Widow dragged her down to the gym, and began Darcy's nightly hell.That's what she called it out loud, anyway. It was torture, what Nat put her through, but Darcy was grateful for it, not that she'd admit it (and she was pretty sure Nat would prefer she didn't). Most nights she could even get a solid five hours of sleep after Nat had exhausted her.About two months in, Darcy managed to get a good kick in on her and dropped her for about a second. Nat looked at her with approval, and a sharp nod, and then they got right back to sparring, but Darcy felt such a sense of accomplishment that she forgot to wonder why Nat had become distracted in the first place until later, when she was in the locker room.She glanced in the mirror and saw that the tights and shirt combo she'd worn had left a strip of skin bare that sliced through her soulmark, leaving several words written in Coulson's neat handwriting visible. The words were still black.Darcy abruptly had to sit. Elbows on her knees, head in her hands, she cried silent tears. She didn't know why the universe was playing such a cruel joke on her.Coulson's dead, the dark letters mocked, but we're here to stay.An arm slid around her shoulders at some point, and she stiffened a little before she heard a quiet, comforting stream of Russian. It could have been anything that she was saying – a grocery list, a mission debrief, a scary Russian story to frighten children, whatever. It didn't matter.Nat stayed with her until the tears had dried up and she was ready to face the world again.A month and a half after her cry in the locker room Nat asked her (mid-knife-throw) when she'd last hacked Shield."It's been a few weeks, why?" Darcy told her, hitting her target easily and turning to the next one."I've put in a commendation for you," Nat said, not answering her question. Darcy got the point, though. Whatever it was, she needed to hack Shield and find for herself."Wait, really? You recommended me?""You need to get out of the lab," Nat deflected."I'm nowhere near your level, Nat. You can't think I'm ready to just jump into being a Shield agent," Darcy argued. It was true, though, that she really wanted to get out of the lab."Very few people are near my level," Nat said dryly. "You're more than ready."Darcy finally paused in her knife-throwing and looked at Nat. The Black Widow gazed just as seriously right back at her."Alright then," Darcy said, although it still felt a little surreal, and they got on with the rest of their training program for the day.Later, she hacked Shield.Nat hadn't exactly been forthcoming on the details, so Darcy had no idea what she was looking for, but it must have been a recent development.When she found it, she froze in her seat.And then she went and found Clint to get a crash course in vent-crawling and general sneakiness.Phil opened the door to his brand-new office on the Bus and immediately halted just inside."Well, well, well. If it isn't Agent iPod Thief," the woman in his chair drawled, feet casually propped on his desk."Miss Lewis, I'd like to offer you a position with Shield," Phil said, not even losing a beat at hearing his words. (They were, after all, fully expected.) "And a new iPod."......"Where have you been, anyway? We thought you were dead."He shrugged. "Only mostly dead," he said with a completely straight face.Darcy was in love already."Well you look more than slightly alive to me," she smiled. "So, spill.""Tahiti is a wonderful place," he said automatically."O-kay, that is a super weird thing to say and we're definitely gonna have to look into that, but first you need to give me a private tour.""You've proven quite capable of showing yourself around the Bus already.""Uh, not exactly what I meant. You do have a bedroom on… oh my god, were you trolling me?" Phil's face didn't do anything so inconsiderate as give him away, but Darcy could tell anyway. "You were. We are so soulmates."
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Darcy always knew she was going to be trouble. It was written across her abdomen in a clear, strong, powerful hand. Her parents had tried very, very hard to ingrain in Darcy the importance of following the rules, but as soon as she learned how to read, and knew what her words were, all that pretty much went out the window. Well, sort of. What Darcy got from her words was that she was going to be very good at not being caught – at least until her soulmate was the one catching her. Darcy made it her goal to learn a lot of strange things, because she had a feeling she’d need them. She learned how to hotwire a car from her first boyfriend (the only good thing that came from that relationship), how to pick a lock from the weird kid that sat next to her in English class, and did a nerd’s art homework for a semester to learn how to hack. And she learned so much on YouTube. She pretty much lived there, honestly. Anyway, by the time Darcy met Jane she was a jack of all trades. She could repair pretty much anything, was a decent pickpocket, could hack into almost any server, knew her way around a variety of weapons (her taser was still her favorite), could build a fake identity (you’re welcome, Thor), practiced a couple different kinds of martial arts, and was very good at finding and avoiding cameras when she needed to. All of that was great, but it didn’t really help much when the giant metal robot thing was destroying Puente Antiguo. She felt pretty useless during that whole thing, although she did save an entire pet shop. Afterwards, though, SHIELD was suddenly falling all over themselves to hire Jane to do some ‘collaborative’ research for them and gave all of her equipment back… except for Darcy’s iPod. At first, Darcy thought it was just an honest mistake, so she filed all the proper forms for recovering confiscated equipment (why the fuck were there so many forms for that?) and waited to get her iPod back. For three weeks. Then, after nothing, not even a courtesy ‘we received your request’ email, she hacked into SHIELD. It was the hardest thing she’d ever done, actually – she suspected Stark had done some work on their systems, because she’d learned to hack on a Stark laptop and she recognized that shit. Anyway, what she found once she got in was that her iPod had been removed from the holding room they’d had Jane’s stuff in by one Agent Philip J Coulson. Yeah, she was just gonna call him Agent iPod Thief. Then she just had to figure out where Agent iPod Thief was, and – huh. That wasn’t even very far. No wonder all the jack-booted thugs had shown up so quick after Thor had crash-landed. It wasn’t very hard to convince Jane that she needed a couple days off, and she was on the road, ready to get her iPod back. Infiltration was difficult, but successful, and she was snooping around Agent iPod Thief’s desk when the door abruptly swung open, a man barged in wearing an eyepatch and a long, dark trench-coat, and pointed a gun in her direction. If Darcy had done her research (and she had), this was the head honcho himself: Director Nicholas J Fury. She slowly raised her hands up above her head and hoped she wasn’t about to get shot. “Who are you, why the hell are you here, and how the fuck did you break in?” Well, shit, Darcy thought, as she felt her words burn. She suddenly felt much less threatened by the gun that was practically in her face. “First,” she retorted, “please, like you don’t already know who I am. Third, I’m a genius, duh. And second, Coulson took my iPod.” She very much enjoyed the surprised look on her soulmate’s face as he slowly lowered his gun. “Huh,” he said. “That has been a problem; maybe he’ll stop now.” Darcy blinked at him. “Are you saying he’s been stealing iPods so you’d meet me? That’s… actually really sweet. I might just forgive him now.” “Don’t,” he snorted. “He’s already a pain in the ass about it.” “Well, I suppose I’m glad it worked,” Darcy shrugged. “You wouldn’t happen to know where my iPod is, though?” Fury (it was such an amazingly badass last name, seriously) opened his coat, slid his gun back into the holster on his belt, and then pulled her iPod out of an inside pocket. “Here you go,” he said, tossing her beloved iPod at her. Darcy picked it out of the air and hugged it to her chest. “Thanks,” she said. “Are we gonna talk about, uh, you know?” Fury crossed his arms and stared at her. It was impressive how much effect he could get with just one eye – although she was pretty sure his intent hadn’t been to make her feel all hot and bothered by it. “Can you get out of here the same way you got in?” he asked gruffly. Darcy was pretty sure he really didn’t know how she’d got in at all, and it made her feel very smug. She also wasn’t going to tell him. “You mean sneakily? Of course.” He nodded in approval. “I’ll text you, then.” Darcy grinned and started to walk past him into the hallway beyond Agent iPod Thief’s office, flicking the lapel of his coat teasingly as she walked past him. “Not if I text you first,” she said with a wink, and was gratified by the twitch of his lips attempting a smile. “Well, sir?” Coulson asked mildly when he made it back to base twenty minutes later, just before Fury was about to leave himself. Fury glared at him, even though Coulson displayed a disturbing immunity to it, just like someone else he’d just met. Briefly, he considered not telling his best Agent, but he really did need the iPod stealing to stop. “You need to stop confiscating iPods, Cheese.” “It’s for your own good, you know,” Coulson said, and then Fury saw the moment he realized. “Ah. Of course, sir. May I offer congratulations?” “If you must,” Fury said. “It’s your own goddamn fault.” “No need to thank me, Director,” he said, smiling blandly as he left the room. Fury’s phone pinged as he opened the door to his car. Hello, this is your Uber Eats driver, read the message from a number that wasn’t in his contacts. Chipotle didn’t have Cherry Coke. Is Root Beer okay?
I’d rather drink sewer sludge, he texted back. Doesn’t Chipotle have margaritas? Now you’re speaking my language, Darcy responded. Any other preferences I need to know? Burrito bowl, he typed quickly. Barbacoa. All the toppings. Message sent, he tossed his phone on the seat and didn’t look at it until he was pulled into his driveway.
Dude, you did not skimp on your security system.
Fury smirked and got out of his car. He had Chipotle waiting for him. And a soulmate stuck in one of his booby traps.