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See, Keith is special.It is only recently that Lance really, truly understands all the different ways that statement is true. With a lump in this throat, he slowly makes his way back to the celebration. They are on some random planet again. They all mix together to Lance now. Does the name of the planet or the customs of the people really matter if they will be somewhere new by tomorrow?Lance is tired, but he guesses this is what war is. You get tired. You make mistakes. You wonder who you are every time you take a life. You wonder what is important to you.He shakes his head slightly and spots him sitting at a table with Allura and some amorphous, blobby pink aliens. Allura is talking animatedly with the group, not even looking when Lance walks up. The celebration is winding down and he chooses this moment to make his move.“Hey, man.”Keith turns and smiles softly. “What’s up?”That soft smile kills Lance. Sometimes he wishes they still hated each other.“Can we talk in private?”“Sure.” Keith gets up and stretches. Lance thanks god that Blue, Keith’s huge space wolf, isn’t here. They decided to leave him back on the castle ship after a previous incident during a diplomatic meeting where he had humped a prince.
Even if Lance doesn’t know the name of the planet, he is thankful for small favors. It has a beautiful area that looks like a forest, but the leaves are more like a fluffy canopy of stars than leaves. Earlier, when he is scoping out the place, he sees a beautiful oasis in the middle of the forest. It has a waterfall that is loud enough that you can’t hear much when you are close to it. The water glimmers in a way that Earth water doesn’t.He wants to show Keith. He doesn’t want to show Keith.But, nevertheless, he trudges ahead, walking the Black Paladin to the outskirts of the forest.“I want to show you something.”“It’s not something gross, is it.”“No. Not at all. It’s a surprise. For you,” Lance stumbles over his words.Keith looks at him curiously and then smiles again.Lance’s heart is beating furiously in his chest as he takes a step inside the forest and then reaches out his hand. “The path is kind of hard to follow at times so here, it is easier this way.”Keith’s mouth drops open and then he smiles wider, reaching forward and tentatively grabbing Lance’s hand.See, Lance knows that, somehow, someway, for some reason, Keith thinks he is cute. And Lance isn’t sure what to do with that. After Allura had turned him down for the final time, Lance decided not to pursue love until after the War is over. If the War would ever be over. Keith is amazing, but Lance isn’t sure he is in love with him. If he loves him. Or maybe he has always loved him. It is confusing and Lance isn’t sure if he can trust his inner voice right now. It is like he has lost the thread that used to keep him together, coherent.What is Keith to him? Does it matter anymore?He wraps his fingers in Keith’s, throwing a smile over his shoulder and pulling Keith down the dark and narrow path. The canopy looms over them, beautiful and terrible.“It’s pretty,” Keith says behind him.“It isn’t the only thing that is pretty out here,” Lance answers automatically, not even looking back to see how Keith reacts. Lance is sweating and nervous now. He isn’t sure if he can do this, if he can take the leap into what he wants, no, needs to do next. He squeezes Keith’s hand and Keith squeezes back. Lance knows Keith will always have his back. He feels it in his bones.He knows Keith trusts him.He finally sees a glimmer of light ahead. The waterfall. He sighs in relief. For some reason, this had been the hardest part, the journey, the darkness, Keith’s hand in his. He steels himself.“I found this earlier. I thought it was really pretty and wanted to show you.” Lance feels stupid, but Keith grins at him and walks forward.“It’s beautiful. It reminds me of that algae stuff on Earth that glows,” Keith says, leaning forward to touch the water. Keith stares out over the flowing water, the rippling light illuminating his eyes. He looks peaceful, maybe a tad sad, but in the wispy nostalgic way that reads more romantic than depressing. Lance stares at him and, at this moment, there is nothing more beautiful than Keith staring out over the water, violet eyes reflecting the soft light.
“Keith…” he says, voice choked with emotion.Keith turns, looking surprised. Then he stands. “Lance,” he says softly, fondness taking over his face.Then Lance is moving forward and pressing his lips to the other boy’s. There is no hesitation as Keith kisses back, sweetly, gently. Lance gives it a moment and then asks for more, slips his tongue between Keith’s lips. Keith allows him, opening his mouth, tentatively flicking his tongue against Lance’s. Lance runs his hands up and down Keith’s body, eventually putting them up his shirt, feeling that smooth skin over hard muscle. He rolls his tongue against Keith’s, reveling in the feeling of his soft, warm mouth, the somehow innocent movements of Keith’s tongue against his own.He wonders if Keith has ever kissed someone before.He keeps one hand under Keith’s shirt, feeling up his ribs. With his other hand, he moves it toward Keith’s back where he feels the knife. They aren’t in paladin clothing so he doesn’t have his bayard, but he always keeps the Galra blade with him.Lance deepens the kiss, pressing his tongue over Keith’s, licking the back of his mouth. Keith lets out a strangled noise, tilting his head back and opening his mouth wider. Lance can feel his desire radiating off him.Lance unhooks Keith’s belt, letting it fall slack before pulling Keith even closer.He wishes this moment could last forever.He wishes they weren’t in a war.He wishes things weren’t so complicated.He wishes Keith still hated him.He slowly takes one hand away from Keith and reaches behind his body, grabbing the gun he has hidden at the small of his back. He doesn’t even break the kiss before pressing the gun to Keith’s body and shooting.And, of course, Keith has reflexes that are beyond human comprehension. He jerks away at the last second, realizing something is wrong. The laser, set on stun, only grazes his arm which immediately goes limp to his side. His eyes are wide in shock as he stumbles backward before reaching with his other hand for the knife that is no longer at his back.Lance shoots again, hitting his side. Somehow, Keith still throws himself at him, grabbing for the gun. There is a blur of movement, Lance struggling, Keith getting his hand on the gun, yelling, before the gun goes off again, this time for real.Something must have jostled the setting because Keith immediately drops, blood instantly spreading across his chest.“Lance…” he moans, trying to sit up, reaching out with the one working hand he has.“Stay. Down,” Lance hisses, setting the gun to stun again and shooting Keith directly between the eyes.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
With war comes sacrifices. War shows you who you really are and sometimes you see that what you are is not very flattering.
Not what you expected.Lance isn’t thinking about that right now though as he throws Keith’s limp body over his shoulders and carries him further into the woods.He is thinking about his mother’s smile. He is thinking of his nieces and nephews. He is thinking of his poor father with his bad back.It had been during the last mission that Lance was separated from the rest. Then, suddenly Lotor was there, the Emperor of the Galra kingdom, asshole that broke Allura’s heart, somehow even crueler after surviving the rift. Lance was fairly easily disarmed. And Lance doesn’t want to die. He doesn’t. He is too young and he is scared. For some reason, Lotor’s blade at his throat is different from throwing himself, unthinking, in front of an attack for a friend.
He is surprised when Lotor seems to want to talk though. He puts a tablet up to Lance’s face. There are pictures of Lance’s family on it, new pictures. Pictures of them eating in a backyard. They are all taken at the new, supposedly secret address Earth had sent them to in order to protect them. Lance trembles in fear for a different reason now.A promise is made. The Black Paladin or your family. After delivering the Black Paladin, Lance would go home to his family and leave the war effort.
If Lance keeps his promise, then his family would be unharmed. If he doesn’t, they will all die. Lance asks why Lotor didn’t go after more. Why it has to be Keith.
Lotor smirks and says he doesn’t expect Lance to be able to accomplish anything more than one Paladin. Lance wonders if lingering affection for Allura exists somewhere in Lotor still, keeping her safe.He wonders if it would have been harder or easier to betray her rather than Keith.
None of that matters now anyway. He is keeping his promise. He is keeping his family safe. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Maybe he can go home now, a coward, a traitor, but still. Maybe he can be with his family now.They agreed to meet at the very end of the other side of the forest. Keith and Lance would be gone before anyone even realized it. A simple escape pod for Lance and then Lotor’s ship sit in front of him when he reaches the designated area. Lance shudders, wanting to get the weight off his back already, wanting to forget Keith and his face and his soft lips and the way he had sighed against his mouth.Lotor walks out.“If you want him alive then you will need to help him. I shot him accidentally,” Lance mumbles, eyes downcast, unable to look Lotor in the eye.
He wonders if he would ever be able to look anyone in the eye again without remembering his shame.“Quite alright, Blue Paladin. Bring him inside. I have a travel healing pod that will keep him alive until I get back to my main ship. Then you can go.”Lance nods, walking into the ship and taking Keith to the travel pod sitting in a corner. It is smaller than the normal pods and he feels uneasy looking at it.“How does it feel to betray someone you call family?” Lotor asks, a spark of amusement in his voice.Lance can’t even answer. His throat is tight as he sets Keith inside the small pod, trying not to hear the rasp of his breath. Echoes of his strangled cry of “Lance” reverberate in his head.“You have no honor, Blue Paladin.”“I know that!” he snaps back, stalking toward the door again, desperately thinking of his mom’s hugs.“And neither do I,” Lotor says and the last thing Lance remembers is a pain in his head and then darkness.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
He supposes he should have expected this. In some ways, the deal was too good to be true. All he had to do was sell out someone he loved to finally go home and rest. To finally be with his family again. To finally leave the war that had left him so tired, so achingly, bone deep tired that sometimes he can’t even smile anymore.But why had he trusted Lotor? In retrospect, it was so stupid. He is so stupid. And now, he can’t even claim to be an honorable stupid person or a brave one.He is only a fool. A desperate fool that took the first out no matter the cost.
And now he is a handcuffed fool, standing in the middle of a large arena. Galra are everywhere, screaming loudly. There is a camera and a big screen that shows everything that is happening. Lotor is grinning and talking to someone at his side.And there is Keith.Keith is standing on a structure directly in front of Lance, a scaffold of some sort. There is a black rope around his neck and his hands are cuffed behind his back.He stares at Lance. The purple eyes pin him down. There is anger, but more sadness. A dull resignation. Pain.He can’t stand it. He would almost rather Keith already be dead than have to stand here and experience Keith’s judgment. The fact that he did this to him. That he ruined him. That he betrayed his best friend.That he would be executed publicly, for the entire universe to see.Lotor raises a hand. The arena quiets down.“To all that are gathered and all that join us remotely, today is the day that you see the consequences of rising against the Galra Empire. The execution of the Black Paladin, leader of Voltron, traitor, a villain that would destroy our noble cause. Gaze upon him and see our enemy vanquished. All those who rise against the Galra Empire will be struck down!”Excited murmurs reach through the audience. Lance swallows, bringing his gaze from Lotor back to Keith.Keith is still looking at him. Lance is pinned into place, unable to look away, not deserving to look away, not deserving to shield himself from the consequences of his actions. Keith never waivers. He is fearless even in the face of death.
Lotor lowers his hand and there is a loud noise. The bottom falls out from beneath Keith’s feet.Lance watches him fall and, in some ways, falls with him, screaming his name in agony, only to be drowned out by the excited screams of spectators.