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…Spock knew that his relationship with Nyota wasn’t working. After their last fight, he and Nyota hadn’t spoken for over a week. And now, even though they had ‘made-up’ as Nyota would say, things still didn’t feel right. The fact was, he did not feel for Nyota what she felt for him. Or had felt for him. He rather doubted that she still had romantic feelings for him now. They hadn’t kissed for one month, two weeks, one day, and 37.3 hours. She also hadn’t initiated physical contact between them for five days and 30.2 hours. He knew that he was partially to blame; he could not give her what she wanted. For example, he could not tell her that he loved her. He would not lie to her like that. He appreciated her, and thought that she was good company, but that was the extent of his feelings. Originally, since he had found them intellectually compatible, dating her had been logical. It made her happy, and increased their efficiency when working together. Telling her that hadn’t been a good idea. For some reason she found it upsetting that he had been dating her because it was logical, and not because he liked her. That had been the cause of their massive argument. Now, when they were working together, Spock estimated that their efficiency went down by 20.8 percent compared to when they worked alone. Perhaps this relationship was no longer logical? Perhaps it would be more logical to break up? He momentarily allowed himself to feel a small amount of relief. Breaking up with Nyota would mean that he would not have to worry about dates, or trying not to get into arguments.He also observed feelings of regret and loss. Nyota was a nice girl, and it would be a shame if they could no longer be friends. Spock clamped down on his feelings and made up his mind. The most logical course of action would be to break up with Nyota. ...The computer informed him that Nyota was in engineering, so that was where he went. What the computer had not told him was that she was kissing Scotty. He allowed himself a second to stop and stare. That was not what he had been expecting to see. Scotty and Nyota pulled away from each other. Nyota looked up, and suddenly went very still, looking guilty. “I can explain!” she exclaimed.“I assure you, there is no need.” Spock replied cooly. Then he turned on his heel and left the room. … When Jim found him later, Spock was lying on his back in the Enterprise gardens. It was now required of all constellation class spaceships to provide ‘green spaces’. “What’s gotten you upset then?” Jim asked, lying down next to him. “Your assessment is inaccurate, Captain. Vulcans do not get upset,” Spock replied automatically. “Firstly, it’s Jim,” Jim corrected him, “And secondly, I read some article recently that said that Vulcans must have emotions because they are such peaceful race. Apparently it requires empathy to be peaceful, and empathy requires emotion,” Spock glared at the captain out of the corner of his eye. “Being peaceful is logical. I would explain why, but you would probably ignore the entirety of my argument,” Ok, now Jim new that something was wrong. Spock would never pass up a chance to explain exactly why he was wrong. “Are you sure that you are alright man?” Jim asked, rolling onto his side, and propping himself up with an elbow. “I assure you that you I am able to function within normal parameters.” Spock replied.Jim sighed, “I’m not talking about your performance. I can just tell that something is bothering you and I want to help. We’re friends, remember?” Spock closed his eyes momentarily. Why shouldn’t he tell Jim? The Vulcan part of him wanted it all to be private, but the annoying, illogical, other part of his brain pointed out that everyone on the ship would probably soon know that he and nyota had broken up due if she kept kissing Scotty in Engineering. “Nyota has ended our romantic relationship, and is now courting Lieutenant Commander Scott,” Jim whistled. “That’s rough dude.When did you break up?” “Two hours, thirty minutes and eleven seconds ago,” Spock replied. “I happened upon them kissing in Engineering,”
“That’s even worse,” Jim commiserated with him. Spock brought a piece of paper out of his pocket. “She endeavored to explain herself in this letter which was slipped under my door only an hour ago. Apparently she has been meaning to break up with me for a while, but did not have the opportunity. She assured me that Scotty thought that we had already broken up, or would never have asked her out. Which he did two weeks prior. She apologised and said she wished it had never gotten so complicated, and hopes that we can remain friends,” “Your girlfriend has been dating someone else for two weeks,” Jim summarised. Spock resisted the urge to shrug. “I have known for the last three months, that our relationship was under strain -”“ - As long as that? -” Jim interjected, raising his eyebrows. Spock nodded. “ - And she assures me that she tried to tell me multiple times, however the unusual number of red alerts we had the past two week prevented her from doing so,” “It is true that we have had an extraordinary number of missions this week,” Jim added, “this area of space is quite unstable,” Spock sighed. “Which is why it is illogical for me to feel…”“Angry?” Jim supplied, “Upset? Conflicted?” Spock sighed again and nodded. “I have come to the conclusion that I do not like Nyota in a romantic way anymore; I am not sure I ever truly felt what she felt for me. Therefore it is illogical to have any feelings because of this situation,” “Feeling hurt isn’t illogical Spock. If anything, it makes sense; relationships are built on trust. Nyota broke your trust, however unwillingly.” Jim paused. “You didn’t ever like Nyota?” “Having not experienced friendship before meeting her, it was easy to assume that my feelings towards her were of a romantic nature. I was incorrect. It eventually became apparent that her feelings for me were different for what I felt for her. In addition to that, I realised something,” Spock mumbled. “Realised what Spock?” Jim asked. Spock turned to look at Jim in the eyes. “Can I assume that you will not tell anyone what I am about to tell you?”“Of course Spock. Nothing you say here will go beyond this grove,” Jim replied. “It has come to my attention that I would prefer to be in a romantic relationship with another male, rather than a female,” Spock said quietly. “Cool,” Jim replied. “You are not… disgusted?” Spock asked quietly. “I was under the impression that not all humans are accepting of homosexuality,”“What? No! Fuck any homophobic humans!” Jim replied, “If anything I’m honoured that you trust me enough to tell me,” Spock still didn’t look convinced so Jim made a split second decision. “I’ll tell you a secret, I’m actually pan, not straight,” Spock looked confused. “I fail to see in what way you are a cooking utensil,” “Not a pan. I am pan. As in Pansexual. I like anyone,” Jim explained. Spock nodded in understanding. “I’m guessing that it’s unusual for Vulcans to be non-straight,” Jim volunteered. “No more unusual than for humans,” Spock clarified, “However, since the destruction of new Vulcan, there had been a strong… push from other Vulcans to procreate.” Jim pulled a face. “Well that’s fun,” Spock shrugged “Being a half breed makes me infertile anyway, so logically the other Vulcans should have no problem with it,” “Logically they shouldn’t be prejudice against anyone who isn’t pure Vulcan,” Jim muttered.Spock raised an eyebrow but said nothing. There was no point in denying the truth.