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It's funny how homophobes try to control someone that identifies with the LGBTQ+ community. It's not funny, it's actually very tragic. Being gay isn't a choice and it certainly isn't easy in today's society. It's especially difficult for someone in the entertainment business. Different managements try their damnedest to keep their game pawns from being outed or suspected of being anything but straight. They won't allow them to be in a relationship unless it's one that they set up to keep people off the rainbow trail. And somehow, they succeed because those same pawns let them control their life. They don't try to defy their management because they know the consequences. They don't stand up for themselves or their relationship because they know what can happen. They aren't allowed to be themselves; they have to play a character. It's truly a tragedy.Harry always chalked it up to the fact that One Direction's management was filled with bitter old men that were jealous of someone else's happiness or the fact that someone else was getting some when they weren't. That's what made the most logical sense to him with his relationship. They've tried to break him and his boyfriend up so many times - from beards to scandals to rumors. However, Harry and Louis have powered through it every time.It quickly got to the point that they can't even be seen in the same place together when they're alone with the rest of their band mates in the studio or the bus or anything but an interview or a concert. Even when it's at an interview or concert, they aren't allowed to be next to each other. All because Modest! doesn't want to see a happy couple that just happens to consist of two males."Harry? Are you home?"Harry shut his MacBook and walked into the main area of his hotel suite to greet his guest. "Hey, Ni. You look winded.""I just got back from a run with Liam. Remind me to never do that again," Niall said, slightly panting as he stood there with his hands on his knees."Why did you go in the first place then?" Harry chuckled."Because Liam is a dick and forced me into it. Do you have water or something? I'm about to keel over," Niall panted.Harry chuckled and waved for him to enter the suite. He reached into the mini-fridge and grabbed out a cold bottle of water, tossing it to the collapsed and sweaty Irishman on the couch. "Did Liam force you into it or did you just want to see him all sweaty and sexy for your own gain?""No! I'm straight, Harold. We've had this conversation before," Niall answered, getting all defensive. He sounded like a schoolgirl trying to hide her very obvious crush from her friends."If you say so, but don't think that I didn't see you nearly drooling at the sight of him when he recorded in his towel after he got out of the shower last week," Harry taunted as he took a seat in the chair next to the couch."Yeah, because he was recording in his towel. Why the hell would you do that? Put some damn clothes on," Niall excused."Says the one who recorded the first album completely naked," Harry said, taking a sip of his iced tea."Well, you were staring at him too and you have a boyfriend. I don't think Louis would appreciate knowing this information," Niall threatened."Oh, shut up, Niall. He knows already. There is no denying that Liam's sexy. However, even if Louis didn't know, he wouldn't think twice about it because he knows that I would never leave him or cheat on him," Harry told him. "Good try though."Niall rolled his eyes in defeat. "Speaking of, have you talked to him yet?"A frown formed on Harry's lips. "Unfortunately, no. I've tried texting him and everything, but he won't answer me. I don't know what's going on with him. Ever since management made him go out to the club with that woman last week, he's avoided me completely. Did he tell you how it went or what happened?"Niall shook his head. "No, he didn't really mention anything about it to me. If he would've told anyone, it would've been Liam. If it would've been anything big and important, I know that Liam would've told us. Maybe something happened with Zayn. I know that those two are on the rocks currently.""I wouldn't think anything would've happened with Zayn. He's pretty vocal to me when something goes down between them because he's usually so pissed off," Harry shrugged."I don't know," Niall said, shrugging. "I suppose I should go take a shower so I don't smell like a dirty sweat sock for the rest of the day. I'll see you later?""Yeah, that sounds good," Harry smiled. As Niall walked towards the door, a maniacal grin spread across Harry's face. "Make sure to lock the bathroom door so Liam doesn't walk in on you moaning his name and wanking."Niall just stuck his middle finger up as he left, leaving Harry in hysterics. When he calmed down, he got up and went back to his MacBook, deciding that he would do a little surfing of the internet to see if anything major happened with Louis and he had missed it. Surely it would have made the headlines by now.While the idea of his boyfriend going out with a woman wasn't his ideal thing, Harry knew that Louis wouldn't cheat or anything like that. Especially since these women were anything but Louis' type since they were all high-maintenance with fake personalities that wanted nothing but fame and money to fund their closets and Starbucks runs. However, Harry wasn't as bitter about it as Louis was. He knew that it had to happen in order for them to be in a relationship, so he tried to look at it in a more positive light. It was hard, but Louis was worth it.Louis didn't do that though. It usually took him a few hours to calm down after the 'date' before he would be back to acting like himself again. But it was taking him significantly longer than that with this go round. Not only that, but he wasn't even acknowledging Harry's presence when they were alone or offstage. That wasn't normal as he usually talked to Harry in order to calm himself down faster. That's what was confusing Harry. He didn't care if Louis talked to Liam this time, but he did care that he was being treated as though he was a ghost.As Harry typed 'Louis Tomlinson' into the Google search bar, he braced himself. He didn't know what to expect, but he hoped that it was nothing major. He clenched his eyes shut, fearing to open them. However, when he did, he was relieved to see that it was the same garbage that was there a day or two before when Harry had last checked. While he was happy that he didn't have to find Modest's latest stunt through Google, he was also at a loss as to what could be bothering his boyfriend so badly. With a huff, Harry closed his laptop and figured on taking a shower to relieve his stress.----Harry was dressed in his favorite jumper of Louis' and a pair of skinny jeans. The jumper was also Louis' favorite and he always got heated when Harry stole it, but then he cooed over how adorable he was in it. With all the memories that were laced in the seams of the jumper, it felt like Harry was getting a long and warm embrace from Louis.When he grabbed his phone from its charger, there were a few missed texts from Niall, all of which were some bullshit memes and puns. Harry quickly replied something witty before making the executive decision to go to Louis' room and talk to him to try and figure out what was going on with him because, frankly, Harry missed him. Louis was only two doors down from Harry, but it felt like he was on the other side of town because the suites that they had were much larger than the average hotel room. With slight hesitation, Harry brought his hand up to the door and knocked a few times. It felt awkward having to knock on his door when he usually just walked in, but he didn't think that it was proper of him to just drop in like nothing was wrong."Louis, are you there? I kind of wanted to talk to you," Harry called through the door after a few minutes passed."I don't think he's there," Liam said, scaring the bejeezus out of Harry as him and Niall walked towards him."Oh. Do you know where he's at? I kind of had something to talk to him about," Harry wondered. "I think that he was going down to the hotel bar to blow off some steam," Liam told him."Was he angry or upset at all?" Harry asked, desperate to know how his boyfriend was."No, just seemed tired and done with bullshit," Liam shrugged. "Did something happen with you two?"Harry shook his head. "No, I don't think so. At least, nothing that I'm aware of."Liam said something more, but Harry decided to ignore it and hurry down to the bar before he decided to leave. It was times such as then when Harry was thankful for management's stress on security because they kept the hotel locked tighter than a popcorn fart so their fans couldn't break in and bother them. As much as Harry loved their Directioners, he didn't need anyone asking to take a selfie or anything like that. He was on a mission.When he got to the bar, he saw Louis sitting at the bar, stirring a drink. He looked upset - like one of those regulars that are in the movies that have just lost everything. That's what he reminded Harry of. It hurt him because Louis didn't lose everything. He had Harry and according to countless comments that Louis has said, Harry was his everything.Slowly, Harry began walking to where Louis was sitting, not sure how to approach him. He figured that he would do the stereotypical way that they do it in movies by sitting down on a stool that's close to Louis, order a drink, and wait until Louis notices him sitting there. If it were any other day, Harry would know exactly what to do. But since they haven't spoken to each other in so long, Harry didn't know what to say to him. He felt like the last time that they spoke was a lifetime ago."What can I get for you, mate?" the bartender asked Harry as he took a seat on one of the barstools."I'll take a Malibu Cocktail," Harry ordered, knowing that he shouldn't be having something that hard at that hour of the day, but he figured that one wouldn't hurt. He needed to loosen himself up a little bit anyway."Harry?" Louis croaked, causing Harry's head to turn immediately. "What are you doing here?""I could ask you the same," Harry said smoothly as the bartender slid his drink across the counter. "I was bored and decided to come down and have a drink."A smirk played at Louis mouth as he tried to constrain himself from laughing. "Hazza, I know you well enough to know that that is utter bullshit.""So, I can't try something new?" Harry asked with a sarcastic overtone in his voice, but then quickly switched to serious. "I actually came here to ask you if you're okay.""I'm fine," Louis answered simply."You haven't talked to me in over a week, Louis. I am your boyfriend that you have been purposefully avoiding. You expect me to believe that you're fine?" Harry challenged. "What's going on with you? I wouldn't be asking, but honestly, I miss you more than anything and I'm worried."Louis was silent, averting his eyes from Harry's gaze. "I'm sorry, Haz. I know that I've been avoiding you, but you didn't do anything wrong. Management has been throwing all of this shit at me and I've just been frustrated. I know I shouldn't have taken it out on you and I am really sorry. I just felt that it would be best if I retreated away from everyone and let myself stew for a while."Harry nodded. "That's understandable. What has management thrown at you?""Ah, just a bunch of bullshit really. They keep getting on me nerves," Louis shrugged.Harry just nodded, wishing that Louis would tell him what was actually going on, but he didn't want to pry. There was also the fact that they weren't completely alone. He was just happy that his boyfriend wasn't mad at him. Harry picked up his drink and took a sip, noticing out of the corner of his eye that Louis was watching him do so. "What?""I missed you too, you know," Louis said with a sweet smile.Harry couldn't help but smile back. "What do you say we have a movie night tonight? Just you and I, no Liam or Niall. I think we've earned it.""I think that would be arrangeable. We don't have anything going on for the rest of the day, so how about we start at eight?" Louis suggested.----If you asked Harry what the movie was about, he would respond with something along the lines of 'some sappy romance shit' because he didn't have a damn clue. The movie was already halfway through, but Harry and Louis were busy making their own romance. It hadn't really been that long of a time that Harry had been without Louis, but God, did he miss the feeling of Louis lying on top of him, dominating his mouth with his magical tongue."How about we make this a bit steamier?" Louis suggested as he played with the hem of Harry's t-shirt. Harry didn't say anything except nodded and roughly kissed Louis.Louis began to roughly kiss Harry's lips, making the romantic makeout session hotter. Harry felt Louis' bulge form in his sweatpants, causing Harry to grab the bottom of Louis' shirt and rip it over his head, revealing his toned and warm body. Louis ripped Harry's t-shirt off as well and began to suck on the younger boy's neck. Harry felt like he was on Cloud 9 - lovebites drove him absolutely insane.Harry let Louis take control of him, letting him strip him down to absolutely nothing. He felt so submissive - something that he craved and lived for. Once he was completely naked, Louis began to leave a trail of feathery kisses down his torso, sending chills up Harry's spine. When he got to the sensitive part around his member, Harry began to shudder and Louis knew that he was driving the boy absolutely mad."I missed you so much, baby," Louis purred. "Mind if I rim you?"Harry responded with a high pitched squeak as Louis licked a stripe across his tight hole. Louis' tongue entered his hole, working its magic. Harry wanted so badly to tug at his aching hard-on, but knew that Louis wouldn't be happy with him if he were to cum right away."I need you," Harry moaned."We haven't even began to prep you, baby," Louis pointed out."I don't care. I need you," Harry insisted.Louis shrugged and grabbed the lube off of the nightstand next to the bed, squirting it onto his hand and then rubbing it on his hard-on. "Do you have any condoms?""No, but it doesn't matter," Harry waved it off. It wasn't like he wasn't going to get pregnant.Louis just agreed, figuring that there wasn't much damage that could be done without a condom. They had lube, so it wouldn't hurt Harry as bad. Harry felt as Louis lined himself up with Harry's hole and then let out a loud groan as Louis pushed himself in. It hurt so bad, but felt so good. Harry had missed feeling that full. Louis paused, letting Harry adjust to his size."Move, dammit," Harry demanded, craving the friction.Louis began to slowly move, but quickened his pace after a few minutes. The two boys were moaning so much, Harry was sure that they were keeping poor Niall awake with the volume. However, they had the argument that they were making up for the short period of lost time that they didn't spend together."You're prettiest when I'm absolutely wrecking you, baby," Louis panted as he pounded into Harry, finding his prostate, which caused him to cry out loudly in pleasure."Right there!" Harry groaned.Louis changed his angle and grabbed at Harry's hard dick, giving it a few tugs, sending Harry into orbit. The amount of pleasure that was coursing through his body was more than he had felt in a long time. It was almost overbearing, but Harry wasn't going to ask him to quit anytime soon.Harry's nails dug into Louis shoulders as he felt the familiar tightening. "I'm close...""Cum for me, baby," Louis told him, tugging at Harry's member quicker.With a loud moan, Harry was painting both himself and Louis with white stripes. Louis didn't quit pounding into Harry, giving a whole new feeling of stimulation. Harry was a moaning mess as Louis continued to thrust into him at such a quick pace."Cum inside me," Harry begged.Within seconds of Harry's request, he felt Louis release into him. Louis slowed his pace and then collapsed on top of Harry, their sweaty bodies somewhat sticking together. They found each other's lips and shared a long passionate yet sloppy kiss with one another."Damn, I missed you and your dick," Harry told him.Louis kissed him again. "I missed you and your moans."Louis slowly pulled out of Harry and stumbled into the bathroom to grab a towel. Harry was absolutely wrecked, his body frozen in place as his eyelids drooped. He watched as Louis' fit frame approached him before he shut his eyes completely. He felt the warm damp towel being rubbed over his torso, pushing him into a peaceful slumber.----Harry woke up the next morning, alone in the large hotel room bed. He looked around, somewhat wondering if what happened last night was a dream. Throwing off the covers, Harry revealed to himself that he was stark naked, meaning that last night definitely happened. He got up from the bed, grabbing a pair of pants that was in a pile on the floor next to the bed. Had Louis done the famous walk-of-shame? It wasn't like what Harry and him did was a one night stand, considering that they were an exclusive couple. For the next fifteen minutes, Harry wandered around the hotel suite, not finding a trace of Louis. With a grump, Harry slumped on the couch. His heart hurt just thinking of the potential scenarios.After a few moments, Harry got up and decided that he might as well get ready for the day. However, just as he got up, the door snapped open, causing Harry to nearly jump through the roof. He was expecting either a member of their team or a mass murderer - he was more imagining the murderer and his ultimate death. But it was just Louis."Morning, babe," he said with an innocent smile with a tray full of breakfast foods. However, his face fell. "What's wrong? Did something happen?"He set the tray on the empty coffee table and rushed to his boyfriend's side, grasping him in a hug. "Baby, why are you crying?"Harry hadn't even realized that he was crying. Why was he always so damn emotional? "I'm crying? That's new."Louis looked at Harry with what he liked to refer to as the disappointed dad look. "Harry, there is no way that you're sobbing for no reason unless you're a female on her period, in which I know for a fact that you are not. Now tell me what's going on."Harry was silent for a minute, averting Louis' gaze. He felt foolish for thinking that Louis would do the walk-of-shame, but he wasn't so sure with his behavior he's had for the last week. "I thought that you left me this morning and were going to pretend like last night never happened."A small smile formed on Louis' mouth. "You know that I would never do that to you. I wouldn't do the walk of shame with you. If anything, I did the walk of pride and then came back with food because I knew that my princess would be hungry after all his hard work last night."Harry shrugged. "Well, you're right. I could go for a stack of blueberry pancakes.""That's my baby," Louis said, giving Harry a bit of a noogie.Louis grabbed up the tray and Harry followed him back to the bedroom. They haven't had a breakfast in bed in a long time - since the X Factor days. Harry was actually surprised that their management hadn't followed him to see where he was off to.The two boys were nuzzled next to each other in the bed, giggling and enjoying each other's company as the television played some irrelevant talk show in the background. Harry didn't know how much he missed being able to spend quality time with Louis like that until that morning. He wished that those moments weren't so rare, but for as long as they were going to be under Modest, they had to live by their terrible rules, whether they liked them or not.----
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Harry took a swig from his water bottle before they continued rehearsing the setlist for that night's show. He was actually looking forward to the show because he and Louis were actually going to interact in front of their fans instead of ignoring each other and hating each other. After they had gotten back on the same page the night prior, the two were nearly inseparable. It was getting to the point that even Niall was getting annoyed of it and he was their biggest supporter. They tried to be respectful of the other boys, but it was hard because they just couldn't get enough of each other's lips."I think we've pretty much got it for tonight, don't we?" Liam asked, looking around at the rest of the group."I think so. We've only done this about five billion times," Louis cocked off."Can we take a selfie so the fans know that we're hard at work and not running around like heathens?" Niall asked, looking up from his phone."Is that what they're thinking of us?" Harry asked, a bemused smile gracing his lips."They're of the thinking that you're running around, skipping rehearsals, because you're going solo. Louis is supposedly running around with that blonde chick and drinking his life away. But they have zero thoughts about Liam and I, so at least the Niam ship is still sailing," Niall relayed, peeking down at what Harry assumed was Twitter to get his information. "Basically, they think that the band is breaking up because we're fighting.""Well, I suppose we can appease their minds," Louis shrugged.Niall got his phone in position and Liam tackled him in a hug, figuring that enforcing Niam would be a sure fire way of letting the fans know that there weren't any fights or arguments that were breaking out and that the band wasn't breaking up. Harry couldn't help but feel envy that he and Louis could cuddle as well, but he knew that their arses would be on the line even more so than they would be after that night's show. So, instead, Harry just stood behind his three band mates and threw up his awkward peace sign.
After the selfie was taken, Louis turned around and loosely grabbed Harry's hand. Harry was pretty sure that he had a pout on his face, so he closed the distance between them and gave Louis a quick peck on the lips. Louis smiled and squeezed his hand."What did I do to deserve such an adorable boyfriend?" Louis asked, grabbing Harry's other hand and pressing his lips against Harry's."For God's sake. I wish management would let you two come out, but it would turn our shows into a fucking live porno," Niall snorted."You're just jealous Liam won't cuddle you," Harry shot with a smirk, watching as Niall's face turned red as a traffic light."Am not! 'M not gay, Harold," Niall pouted, trying very hardly to play off the fact that he was straight. Even Liam was chuckling at his attempts."Keep tellin' yourself that, mate," Louis joked, grabbing Harry's hand and began to lead him away from the two. "Mind if we take a tour? You know, just to find out where the dressing room and such is at."Harry smirked, knowing full well what Louis was up to. "Mm, I could use a tour."----"Thank you, San Diego! You've been absolutely amazing!" Liam called into the microphone.All four of the boys chorused their goodbyes and ran off stage as the instrumentals for Best Song Ever played. Harry couldn't wait to get back to the hotel and take a shower because he was so sweaty. Louis was still dripping wet from the water fight that he had had with Liam earlier in the show, which made him look absolutely stunning because his muscles were glistening. Wet Louis was one of Harry's favorites."Good job tonight, love," Louis complemented, giving Harry a chaste kiss."You too, Lou," Harry smiled.That was when a member of their management - Gary Merwin - approached the two of them, the usual annoyed old man look set on his features. He stuck his hand up and gestured for Harry and Louis to follow him. The two obeyed and followed one of the most disliked men in management."We've told you time and time again to keep your relationship or whatever the hell it is you two are in quiet. Do you realize with you singing at each other during one of One Direction's most lovey-dovey songs is going to spark Larry Stylinson mania. We have worked for five years to keep up the straight personas. If you two keep this homo bullshit up, there are going to be very serious consequences. It won't be just you two either - it will be the entire band," Gary sneered angrily and stomped away, muttering "stupid faggots" under his breath.Harry turned to Louis, his eyes welling with tears. He knew that he was overreacting in a way, but he didn't like to get yelled at and he really didn't like being told who he could love and how he could love them. He felt dirty and like he did something wrong, but all he did was love someone with his whole heart."It's alright, baby," Louis comforted, taking Harry into one of his warm bear hugs. "They aren't going to tell us how to live our lives. They won't break us apart.""But they'll break the band up," Harry sobbed into Louis' shoulder."No, Harry. They're not going to break up the band, they're not going to break us up. I won't let them, the other boys aren't going to let them. We're recording a whole new album. They can't end One Direction," Louis reassured, rubbing Harry's back. "Come on, babe. Let's go back to the hotel and watch a movie and a cuppa, yeah?"Louis went into the dressing room to grab both his and Harry's essential items before they got into one of the SUVs that were transporting them. They left Liam and Niall behind, knowing that the two would probably just sit and bant back and forth until their adrenaline levels went down. Harry, on the other hand, he was wiped. Performing was his favorite thing to do, but he always exhausted himself by putting every ounce into the performances. That's what he felt the fans deserved. They've supported One Direction and put their hearts into being fans. There wasn't any reason that he shouldn't put his all into the shows.The ride to the hotel was quiet. Harry was lying his head on Louis' shoulder, watching the car lights through the front windshield. Louis was subconsciously twirling the ends of Harry's curls with his fingers. The sounds of Ed Sheeran's "This" echoed quietly throughout the vehicle. It was enough to nearly put him to sleep. However, he knew that as soon as he would slip into unconsciousness, they would arrive at the hotel and he would have to wake up.When they got to the hotel garage, Louis grabbed onto Harry's hand, shooting their security guards a glare. Harry didn't do the same because for one, he was too tired to know what was happening and the other reason being that Louis was the protective one. The guards wouldn't be angry with them - they actually approved of he and Louis being together. They just had to do what their bosses told them and try to shy it away from happening."You two can hold hands, but you have to take the lift," Paul told them, sounding tired and annoyed that he would even have to tell a couple that was obviously fine with being together that they had to stay in the closet.That's what angered Harry the most. Modest was forcing him and Louis to stay in the closet. The two had discussed it before and sure, at first, Louis was kind of scared about coming out to the entire world, but eventually had come around. Harry was even more so ready to come out and finally be allowed to be who he was. He had already made a start to it because he had come out as bisexual in 2013, which of course led to a fire being ignited by both Modest and Larry shippers. Harry liked the one started by Larry shippers though - they supported and loved both Louis and Harry. That was a good fire - kind of like a warm bonfire on an autumn night that you could roast marshmallows over. And then there was the negative fire from Modest that immediately blew up on Harry and threatened his job and reputation. That was an ugly wildfire that was never going to be put out as long as Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson had Modest! Management after their names."What movie do you want to watch tonight, love?" Louis asked, playing around with Harry's fingers."Can we watch that Papertowns movie that everyone's gossiping about?" he asked. "Gemma sent me with her copy and told me to watch it, but I haven't gotten around to it.""Isn't that the John Green film with Cara in? Harold, I swear if my favorite character dies, your arse is on a platter," Louis warned.Harry just smirked. He remembered showing Louis "The Fault In Our Stars." He had never seen Louis cry so much in his life. It was actually amusing thinking back on it. "No, nobody dies in this one. Well, nobody that you'll fall in love with anyway."Louis gave him a hard glare. "I don't trust you or John Green."Harry just giggled and gave Louis a sweet kiss. He loved the bants they had been having throughout the past night and day. It was refreshing since he hasn't had that kind of interaction in over a week. Louis was actually more loving to him than he normally was. It was like when they had first gotten together. It was nice.As soon as the two got to their room, they went their separate ways - Harry to the restroom to get ready for bed and Louis to the telly to set up the movie and kick off his shoes. It had been a while since they had had a movie night. Granted, Harry was sure that he would fall asleep before the beginning titles would start rolling. Either way, it was like an old tradition being revived."You look so cozy, bub," Louis complimented as Harry looked down at the sweater that he had stolen from Louis ages ago and flannel bottoms. "Could've sworn I had the same sweater. Haven't seen it in a while though."Harry chortled a laugh, crawling on the bed and cuddling next to his warm boyfriend. That was one of the things that Harry loved most about Louis. He was always warm, like a living and breathing heater. Louis gave him the fluffy blanket, in which Harry wrapped himself in and laid on Louis.
Louis hit play on the the telly and the disc began to play the movie. Within five minutes, Harry was struggling to keep his heavy and sore eyes open. Sick of fighting to pay attention to what was happening on the screen, Harry shut them and quickly began to slip into sleep. However, he was still aware to hear Louis' voice."I'll love you no matter what happens, baby."----
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
July 14th, 2015
Seattle, Washington
Harry felt his heart break in two when his eyes read his phone screen. He couldn't believe what he was reading. Tears rolled down his face and small sobs escaped his lips. Everything was making sense - why Louis had been acting extra loving towards him, why he kept muttering things like "whatever happens, I love you," why he was so distant from him. His heart felt like it was being ripped from his chest.There was a knock on the hotel room door. The last thing that Harry wanted to do was talk to anyone, especially if it were Louis. He wanted to be alone so he could cry and be broken by his lonesome. However, the knocking persisted, indicating that it was either Liam or Niall. Being that they were probably aware of what was going on, neither of them were going to give up trying to get his attention. Harry took a deep breath and attempted to get himself together so he didn't look like he had been crying, though it was most likely very obvious that he had been. Harry got up and quietly went over to the door, wiping his wet eyes gently with the back of his hand once more.As soon as he opened the door, Harry was enveloped in one of Niall's comforting bear hugs. As soon as Niall gave him a reassuring squeeze, that was when Harry completely lost it and began to bawl again. He was thankful that he had Niall hugging him because his knees were giving out as he wretched with sobs."It's going to be okay, H," Niall whispered in his ear. "Liam and I are here for you."The words didn't mean anything to Harry because it wasn't going to be okay. But he appreciated that two of his best mates were going to be there to hold him while he was sad. That was what meant the most to him. They didn't fully understand what Harry was feeling, but they were going to be there to help him through it as best they could.Niall broke apart the hug and grabbed Harry's hand, leading him to the couch in the corner of the room. The two sat down in silence, the only noise that was filling the room was the nonstop sniffles coming from Harry. Niall looked at him, his deep blue eyes filled with so much sympathy."I'm so sorry, Harry," he apologized, his voice coming out as a whisper.Harry couldn't do anything but cry in response. "Why didn't he tell me instead of just pretending like it didn't happen?""Probably scared of how'd you react. Doesn't give him the right to keep it from you though," Niall shrugged. "I honestly didn't think that he would ever cheat on you. He was so in love with you."Tears rolled faster down Harry's cheeks. "I'm supposed to be her. I'm supposed to be the one he's having a baby with, not some woman that he barely knows."Niall was silent for a few minutes. "You can still have that, Harry. You can still adopt a baby or have Gemma carry it when you're ready to start your own family. This baby isn't part of your family."Harry glared at Niall. "This baby is Louis'.This baby is part of him.""I know, but you can still have the family you want," Niall continued."It's not the same. He's going to experience these firsts with this ugly woman instead of me. It's not going to be at all what I wanted. What we had wanted," Harry sobbed. "I don't even want him anymore."Niall was quiet. Harry knew that the guy was lost for words because he didn't want to see Louis and Harry break up. But Harry couldn't be with Louis anymore. Not after he betrayed his trust like that."Don't do anything rash, Haz. Talk to him before you make any decisions...hear what he has to say," Niall pleaded with him.Harry didn't respond. He knew that Niall was only trying to help and be a good friend, but he just didn't want to talk to anyone. Everyone thought that he and Louis needed to be together. For Harry to talk to anyone about the situation and get their unbiased opinion, that would never happen. They were all too obsessed with keeping them in a relationship that they wouldn't hear what was actually going on.He stood up from his place on the couch, just wanting to get away from Niall. They had a show the next night and the best thing that could happen would be for him to be left alone until they had to go on stage."I think I'm going to lay down. Thanks for stopping by, Niall," Harry muttered, wanting his friend to leave.Niall got up from the sofa and went to Harry, wrapping his arms around him. "It'll work itself out, Harry. I promise. Whatever happens, I'll be here to help you through it.""Thanks, Niall," Harry whispered, tears caressing down his cheeks.Niall left the room, Harry now standing alone crying. He felt weak, like he had just been thrown into a battle without any weapons. He was gutted. Silently, Harry walked over to the big window and looked out at the city of Seattle. He wished that he was looking out at the cityscape to enjoy the view and not wishing that he could just disappear. Everything was going to change. Obviously, the band had changed when Zayn left, but now it was an even bigger change. There lives as a bunch of lads having a good time together would never be the same.Nothing would be the same.----A loud rapping on Harry's room door woke him from his power nap. He uncurled himself from his fetal position and slowly walked over to the door, scared to answer it. He was about to put his eye to the peephole, but found he didn't have to when he heard a voice on the other side."Harry, please. I know you're in there. Please just let me talk to you," Louis pleaded.Tears pricked the backs of Harry's eyes once again as he stood there, frozen in silence. He knew that he needed to talk to Louis, but he was so broken and hurt that he didn't know if he could face him. Though he knew Louis enough to know that he wasn't going to leave until Harry were to answer."Babe, please. I can explain. I need to explain," Louis begged, his voice desperate. "I'm going to get Paul's keycard for your room, so I suggest you open the damn thing."Harry wasn't dumb. He knew, especially under the circumstances, that Paul wouldn't give Louis the keycard. Paul knew Harry well enough to know that Harry wasn't going to face Louis until he was good and ready, which wouldn't require his assistance unless it got out of hand.With a gulp, Harry slowly closed his wet eyes and squeezed out a sob, trying to stay quiet. He walked away from the door, knowing that he had to let go of Louis. He had to ignore him in order to get rid of him, to move on from the years that they had spent together. To start his life as a single man for the first time since he was sixteen.However, he heard the door clicking open and before he could rush back to hold it shut, Louis was stood in the room. He looked like an utter mess, his hair strewn about and he was wearing the clothes that he had worn yesterday. Harry's stomach wrenched at the sight of him, making him want to run to the toilet and throw up. He couldn't believe that Paul had given him the keycard. He thought that he could trust him."Harry, please. Can you just allow me to talk to you? Can I explain this?" Louis begged, his eyes red like he had been awake for days."What is there to explain?" Harry muttered, letting his hair fall into his face."That I'm sorry that you have to go through this," Louis apologized, his voice going soft.Harry squeezed out the welled up tears in her eyes before he spoke again. "I'm not going through this. It's over, Louis."Saying his name felt like something sour was just dropped onto his tongue. He never thought that he would be saying such words to him. He thought that they would get married, they would have a house and family of their own. He never saw himself with anyone else other than Louis. So many plans for their future together were now just fantasies, just dreams that were like balloons floating away in the wind."Harry, no, don't do this," Louis begged. "Please, just hear me out before doing anything rash. You know that I didn't -"Harry finally looked at Louis, feeling his gut wrench. "How do you expect me to stay with you when you betrayed me with my biggest fears? Get out of my room, Louis.""Harry, I didn't - please, you're not listening to me!" Louis yelled."Get out of my fucking room, Louis! I can't even look at you without wanting to throw up everywhere! Get the fuck out!" Harry yelled, so loud that Paul rushed into the hotel room."Come on, mate. It's time to go," he instructed the Doncaster native, grabbing his arm as he tried to lead him towards the door."Let me go!" Louis commanded. "Harry, I need to talk to you! Would you just listen to me, dammit?!"Harry walked back towards his bed, listening to Louis fight and try to get Paul to let him go. The door shut and he could still hear him shouting. His knees buckled and he collapsed to the floor. He didn't know how he was going to go on like this.----"Goodnight, Seattle!" Liam yelled into the microphone.Unlike any other shows, Harry ran off the stage as fast as he could. It had been one of his worst and he knew it. He was sure that the fans knew it too. The whole situation with Louis and then having to interact with him was starting to get him sick. He didn't feel quite right. All he wanted to do was go back to the hotel and go to bed for the night."H, you okay?" Liam asked, following him into their dressing room."What do you think?" Harry mumbled, causing Liam to shut up.He grabbed a folded towel from the pile on Lou's makeup counter and wiped his sweaty face off. He tossed it into the dirty laundry bag and went over to the charger to grab his phone and his wallet from the coffee table by the couches. As he bent over, his stomach clenched and he had an overwhelming sensation of wanting to heave. Dropping his things on the table and getting the attention from everyone in the room, Harry rushed to the connecting bathrooms before he wretched his dinner all over the floor.However, nothing came up. A headache set in as he stood up and leaned against the stall wall. He shut his eyes, the fluorescent lights causing his head to pound. It wasn't normal for him to get nauseous at random like that. The last time that it had happened was when he was a little kid and had gotten a concussion. After regaining his wits, he shook it off and left the bathroom. When he reentered the dressing room, everyone in there was gawking at him like he was an animal at the zoo."You okay?" Niall asked as Harry picked up his things again."'M fine, Niall. Just heading to the hotel early," he stated and proceeded to walk out of the dressing room.Paul had been nice enough to have one of the other security guards go with him back to the hotel early. He was glad that he had made that decision earlier because he felt way overtired - more so than he normally did after a show. It took a lot out of him. That paired with his sudden nausea...he needed to go to bed and sleep whatever bug it was off. He couldn't afford to be sick, not now."Harry, are you okay?"The smooth voice caused Harry to stop in his steps. He looked at Louis, his heart dropping at the sight of him. "Peachy.""Can I come by tonight? Please?" he asked, his voice soft."I have plans," Harry said and turned back around, nodding at Preston.The walk from the dressing room felt like it was longer than when they had gotten there, but he figured that was just because he felt horrible. Preston kept asking if he was okay and wondered if he was feeling alright. Harry wasn't about to worry him over something that was most likely just due to exhaustion. He had a day between shows, so that gave him a bit to get rested up for the next one. It was odd riding in the SUV alone. It was too quiet and he didn't have anyone that he could rest his head on. Preston was next to him, but he didn't think that the man would really appreciate it."I'm sorry with what's going on between you and Louis," Preston spoke, knocking Harry out of his trance. "Hope you two can work through this shite. You're a good couple.""There is no working through it. He cheated on me and impregnated someone that was meant to be for a stunt. My worst nightmare came true. I can't ever trust him again," Harry explained to him, not taking his eyes off the city lights."I understand you there, Harry," Preston agreed. "But I would let him explain himself. Just to get the actual truth instead of what the media is putting out."Harry didn't say anymore. It was too exhausting to try and explain why the logical thing was to break up with him. Nobody seemed to understand that. It felt like he was alone with this one. There really was no reason to hear him out. When all was said done, maybe the media did exaggerate some things, but the girl was still carrying Louis' child and he still cheated on him, betraying his trust the worst way possible.----Harry walked onto the bus the next morning, finding it odd that he was the first and only one on it. Paul nearly drug him out of his room before he could get his suitcases, so it was weird that the other boys weren't sitting in the bus, playing on their phones. He threw his bag onto his bunk and climbed up into it, planning on watching Netflix for the three hour trip to Vancouver.He was never quite found of the tour buses since the beds didn't do justice for his back, but it was a nice change from an airplane. It got annoying looking out the window and only seeing the tops of clouds. It was beautiful, but when that was what you constantly saw, the beauty of it wore out. Harry situated in his perch, propping his Mac on his lap and his earbuds in his ears, trying to decide what show he should watch.As Supernatural began to play, Harry saw the bus door open out of the corner of his eye and a silhouette entered - of course, the silhouette belonged to the one and only Louis Tomlinson. With a sigh, Harry gripped the edge of the curtain divider and pulled it across in order to hide himself away. He comforted himself and got back into watching the show. It wasn't much longer until the curtain was torn back across, exposing Harry to none other than Louis."Get down," Louis sneered, tearing the one earbud from his ear."I have nothing to say to you, Louis," was all Harry said, not tearing his eyes off of Sam and Dean Winchester. That was when Louis put his hand on the computer and shut the top, making steam nearly roll out of Harry's ears."I don't know what you don't understand about us not being in a relationship anymore," Harry snapped angrily."I can't understand something that isn't true, yeah? Now get your arse down from the bunk!" Louis demanded.Harry glared at Louis before forcing him to move and hopped down off the bunk, storming towards the entrance of the bus. However, when he went to open the door, it was locked. He tried shaking it open, but there was no use. It was locked by the chain that was on the outside."Try all you want, but you're not getting off this bus. Not until you fucking listen to me," Louis told him, leaning against the bus' wall casually."Why do I need to listen to you? To hear you physically say that you impregnated some girl that you specifically told me was your beard, the same girl that you told me that you didn't have any attraction to?" Harry quizzed, not wanting to hear Louis' excuses."God dammit, Harry. You're being such a stubborn bitch, you know that?" Louis sneered, frustrated. "Get your head wedged out of your arse for one minute and let me explain this fucking situation.""I am offended," Harry gasped, taken aback by Louis' blunt words."I don't give a shit what you are. I have been trying to fucking talk to you since this happened and you're being a dramatic little bitch about it and you won't give me a chance. Instead, you fucking believe the media and can talk to everyone else about our relatio-""We are not in a God damn relationship, you dickhead! It is over!" Harry interrupted, not caring that he was screaming. Maybe then someone would open the door and free him from this mess."You're just saying that because you're letting something that you read on the fucking internet influence your God damn mind. If you would actually shut your fucking mouth, you would understand that that fucking baby isn't mine. That it was all part of management's fucking plan to put suspicions to rest. But you're too busy throwing a fucking fit about how shitty you feel and how I mistreated you and all that bullshit. The fact that you believe a fucking tabloid before letting your own boyfriend explain it to you," Louis yelled, his face red as a beat and angry tears dripping down his cheeks. He pushed past Harry and made a bang on the bus door, the noise of the chain lock coming undone. He had his hand on the handle and then turned to face him once more before leaving. "Fuck you, Harry. Fuck you."----
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
July 26th, 2015
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Harry was lying on Niall's bed, hoping that his stomach would calm down. The bug that he had caught over a week prior was rearing its ugly head, although he didn't feel like he had anything. He had thrown up at least six days in a row out of the eleven that he had been "sick." He wasn't sure what was wrong with him. Harry was never one to get sick and when he did, he wasn't usually one to vomit. Even drowning himself in orange juice and cold medicine wasn't kicking it."Are you going to be alright to perform tonight?" Niall asked, walking out of the bathroom."I'm not cancelling a show for this. I feel fine, really. I just throw up once in midmorning and then I'm fine," Harry told him. "I think I'm just exhausted. I've been feeling way overtired after shows recently too."Niall quirked his eyebrow and sat on the other bed, chortling a laugh. "You sound like your pregnant."Harry looked down, sadness washing over him. "Yeah...""Shit. I'm sorry, mate. I forgot," Niall apologized, sitting next to him and wrapping his arm around Harry's shoulders. "Don't cry. I'm sorry that I brought it up. It just came out. Please don't cry.""I'm not," Harry retorted. Then he felt his cheeks only to feel the residue of tears on the back of his hand. "Why am I crying? I didn't want to cry.""H, it's okay to still be hurting about this. You spent almost five years with the guy and it's barely been two weeks since you've broken up. You're entitled to a grieving process, mate," Niall told him, rubbing his back.Harry was glad that he had Niall as a friend and valued his kind words, but he wasn't understanding that Harry really wasn't as upset as Niall thought he was about the situation. If anything, the whole concept of pregnancy was just annoying to him. He wasn't going to break down in tears at the slightest mention of it. That wasn't him. So, why he was crying was a complete mystery to him."Hey, Niall," Liam's voice called out as he walked through the conjoining door. "Hey, Harry. Is everything alright?""Yeah, I think so," Harry responded, wiping the tears off his face."How are you feeling?" Liam wondered.Harry explained to him how he had been feeling for the past however many days, which also threw Liam for a loop. "I honestly think it's related to exhaustion, but it's just weird that it's happening now. This is the most lax tour that we've had because of the day break between each show. You know what I mean?""I can see your point there, but honestly, it doesn't sound like exhaustion. I know that affects everyone differently, but these symptoms...they sound like they're something more. I think you should see a doctor. We've got quite a bit of time before we have to be at the venue tonight," Liam said.Harry shrugged. "I don't know. I just don't feel like there's any reason to."The only reason that Harry ever went to the doctor was if something was seriously wrong. He needed solid proof that he was sick - like not being able to keep anything down or sweating profusely from a fever. The doctor also cost money. It wasn't like Harry was struggling with his finances, but he tried to live like he did. He didn't spend as much as people thought he did. He was raised to have the mentality of "even if you're rich, live like you're poor." He thought twice about every financial decision he made, including a doctor's visit."I know it doesn't seem like anything and you don't like to go to the doctor, but it's one of those better safe than sorry deals," Liam pleaded. "That and we don't want to have to cancel a show or go on without you. The fans and us have been through enough, I'd say.""I'll go with you if you want. So you're not alone or anything," Niall shrugged.Harry rolled his eyes, knowing that they were going to keep buggering him about it. "Fine. I'll go. But I want to go to a specialist or something to make it worth my while.""I've heard about the Minnesota doctors before. From what I know, they're very prestigious. I mean, they do operate on NFL players," Liam reassured."I'm not getting surgery," Harry stated. "I will die before that happens."----That afternoon after lunch, Niall and Harry managed to sneak off with Preston to go to the appointment that they had scheduled earlier. To say that he was dreading the idea was an understatment. It wasn't that Harry was scared, but he wasn't looking forward to what the doctor could tell him was wrong with him. What if it was life or death? What if it was so serious that they would have to cancel the rest of the tour?"I don't know why you're flipping out. If you feel fine any other time, it's probably just exhaustion like you said," Niall reassured."I hope that's the case. I don't want to be on my death bed quite yet," Harry responded."Please, H. You're so dramatic sometimes," Niall snorted.Thankfully, the hospital wasn't too far from their hotel. Harry had done research on the place and had gained some faith that the doctors knew what they were doing. Judging by all of the cars in the parking lot, it seemed that enough people had trusted in them enough. Preston drove around so they could just be dropped off rather than having to risk going across the lot and getting mauled by fans or, if it was existent in that part of the country, paparazzi."Just send me a message when you're finished, alright?" Preston instructed as the two crawled out of the back of the SUV."It shouldn't be more than an hour I wouldn't think," Harry told him.The two boys ran into the large hospital and went up to the reception desk. The woman looked up at both Harry and Niall when they approached, her eyes widening to the size of quarters. Harry just gave her a closed mouth smile and leaned n the counter."Hi. Appointment for -" he started."Harry Styles," the receptionist rushed out."Precisely," Harry smiled.The receptionist quickly typed in Harry's name and looked up. "Um, it looks like someone has already dealt with all of your information. So, just to make sure it's all correct, could we have you look it over?"She turned the computer monitor so it faced both Harry and Niall. He quickly scanned over it and nodded his head. "It's all correct.""What brings you in today?" she asked, not looking either of them in the eyes until there was a moment of silence. The woman looked over the monitor of her computer. "I'm only asking for the sheet I have to give to the nurses. I won't tell anyone, don't worry.""Just a checkup to see if I'm sick or if it's just exhaustion," Harry relayed to her.She quickly tapped on her computer keyboard and then printed out a piece of paper along with some sticky labels. She stuck on of them onto the paper and stapled the rest of the labels to it before handing it off to Harry. "You can have a seat over there. The nurse will be with you shortly.""Thank you very much," Harry responded. "Niall, wait a minute. What are your daughters' names?""Oh, um, Savannah and Elisa. Why do you ask?" she stammered."May I borrow your phone quick?" Harry asked. "Are they coming out to the show tonight?"The receptionist nodded and quickly unlocked her phone, handing it across the desk to Harry and Niall. Harry held it and pressed record on the camera feature and then began speaking. "Hi, Savannah and Elisa. I'm Harry.""And I'm Niall," Niall waved."Your mum was telling us just how big of fans you two are and we thought that we would say hello. So, hello!" Harry continued."Thank you for your support and hope you enjoy the show tonight," Niall told them.Harry quit the recording and handed the woman back her phone. "We hope that they have fun tonight. Thank you for everything.""Thank you both so very much. Have a wonderful day and have a great show tonight!" she thanked.Harry and Niall walked towards the waiting room that they were directed towards, not many people sitting there. He felt awkward because he wasn't sick like the other few that were sitting in the chairs, wrapped in blankets with only their pale faces sticking out. Harry felt well compared to them. He just didn't see why he needed to book an appointment slot when he didn't really need it."I don't need to be here," Harry stated to Niall.He looked up from his phone. "What are you talking about? It's just to make sure that you're not coming down with something.""I know, but look at all of these people. They need an appointment more than me," Harry pointed out."I understand that this is the last place that you want to be, but we've already made the appointment. We're just being cautious, alright, buddy?" Niall reassured him, putting a reassuring hand on his shoulder."Harry," the RN called out before Harry could respond.The two got up, Niall nodding to reassure him that it was okay. The two of them followed the nurse to the doctor's office. Harry sat down in the chair, answering the nurse's questions like he was supposed to. It was when she left that Harry's knee began to shake and a migraine started to make itself known."What's wrong?" Niall asked, looking at Harry concerned. "You look like you just got knocked in the balls.""Well, if my balls are in my head, then yes, I did," Harry responded sarcastically.Before Niall could respond, the doctor walked in, a smile on his face as he stuck his hand out to each of them. "Hello, I'm Dr. Markel. Nice to meet you both. My niece is going to be extremely jealous.""She coming to the show tonight?" Niall asked."Yeah. I took her dad's spot. He doesn't seem to have a very good taste in music," he smiled. "However, as a professional, I'm not excited to see that you're in my office. What seems to be going on?""This has been going on for eleven days. I personally think that it's just exhaustion, but for six days out of those eleven, I've been throwing up. It happens around the same time of day every day. I don't feel sick though. I feel pretty normal and like myself. I've also been getting these really bad migraines, like the one I have right now. And what leads me to think that it's exhaustion is the fact that I've been getting wiped after shows, way more than I used to. I think that this is just a result of the tiredness, but I get really emotional at times as well. For no reason," Harry explained to him."Alright. Well, let's go one thing at a time," the doctor said. "With the vomiting, what time of day does it usually happen?""It usually happens mid-morning. Then it also happens before a show, but that was only two times and they weren't in a row," Harry answered."Are you able to keep foods down? Or have you eaten anything strange?" he quizzed."Yeah, I can hold food down. I've just been eating what I normally eat, which is usually healthy. I don't eat fast food very often. I don't think we have at all while this has been happening either," Harry confirmed."Do you feel nauseous beforehand?""Yeah, and then I have to rush to the toilet," Harry shrugged.The doctor continued to ask Harry questions about each of his symptoms. The looks that he was giving while listening was slightly worrying Harry. It looked like he didn't know, like he had never heard of anything like it before. It especially worried him when he told him that he was going to go get the supplies to take his blood."You're going to be fine, H. They're just taking precautions," Niall reassured him.Harry looked up at him, suddenly feeling angry. "Would you like me to tell him that you want to get stabbed too?""No, no, I'm good," Niall surrendered.Doctor Markel returned, wheeling in a tray with the supplies neatly laid out. "I also brought you an order for a urine test. It's nothing serious, but we want to cover all angles just to make sure that there isn't anything more going on.""Do you know what's wrong with me?" Harry asked.The doctor let out a small chuckle. "I have an idea, but I just want to double check before diagnosing. If it's what I think it is, you're going to be absolutely fine, Harry."Harry rolled the cap sleeve of his t-shirt up and the doctor tied a tourniquet around his bicep and lightly rubbed alcohol on the spot below it, the substance making that portion of his arm cold. He bit his tongue, preparing himself for the worst."Here goes," Dr. Markel told him. The needle stung as it went in, Harry's face twisting into a pained expression as his tongue went slightly numb in the spot that he was biting it. "So, how are you folks finding it here in Minnesota?""It's a nice place. We don't get to get out and explore much, but from what we have seen, it's a nice area," Niall answered."The fans are always the craziest here. They're loud," Harry squeezed out, hoping that the conversation would take his mind off it."That's good. Glad you like it here," the doctor responded. "You've never performed in TCF Bank Stadium, have you?""No, the last time we were here on the Take Me Home tour I think we performed in the...is the Target Center or is it the Xcel Energy Center? I can't remember which one they have basketball at," Niall told him."That would be the Target Center," Dr. Markel said. "I remember my niece begging her dad for those tickets, but he thought that she was too young to go. I took her out so she could get merchandise at one of those tables they had outside of the ticket gates and she was happy with that. She also met your opening act as well. They were parked in a rather open spot.""That's cool. I'm glad she gets to come around this time," Harry responded."I am too. She's so excited," he responded and then pulled the needle out, pressing down on his arm with a cotton ball before placing a bandage on it. "There you are, Mr. Styles. I'll put this in right away and we should have results within two days. As far as the urine test goes, just go to the lab and hand them the order and they'll give you a vile.""Thank you, Dr. Markel," Harry thanked."Have fun at the show tonight," Niall bid goodbye as he walked out of the room.Harry's eyes shot straight to Niall. "Don't you dare laugh."Niall chuckled. "Urine for a good time."He narrowed his eyes at him and grumbled. "Only I can make puns."The two boys made their way through the hallways behind the waiting room towards the lab. Harry felt slightly embarrassed that he had to pee in a cup and then hand it off to someone so they can examine it. He didn't understand why he even needed to do a urine test. The doctor hadn't sounded worried at all about what was wrong, so that told Harry that what he was doing was completely unnecessary.They got to the lab reception area and Harry stopped at the desk, the receptionist not saying hello or anything to him as she took the piece of paper. He gave Niall a look, not sure if he should say anything. He wasn't going to unless she did. It was awkward enough."The bathroom is right around the corner. Place it in the cubby hole and shut the door when you're finished," she instructed, handing him the plastic container.He turned to Niall. "I'll be back in five minutes."Niall gave him a thumbs up and proceeded to move over to one of three chairs against the wall. Harry turned and went into the single person restroom. It was very laboratory-esque and it smelled very strongly of cleaner. He went over to the toilet and debated how he was going to it since he didn't have to pee.----It was about 6:30, two hours before they had to get ready to go onstage. Harry was sat in the dressing room on the couch, waiting for Lou to start getting them primped. He was just surfing Instagram and listening to music like he normally did before a show - at least, for the past two weeks that's what his ritual was. It was interrupted, however, when a phone call came in from an unknown caller. Reluctantly, he answered it, putting on a fake accent just in case it was paparazzi or crazed fans."Hello?""Hi, is this Mr. Harry Styles? This is Genevieve from St. Joseph's Hospital laboratory," the woman answered."This is he," Harry responded, clearing his throat."I was just calling on behalf of Dr. Markel. You had some blood work done and had given a urine sample today. We were analyzing your blood sample and it came back showing that there was hCG," Genevieve told him."What exactly is hCG?" Harry asked cautiously. Had he been poisoned? He had heard of it before, but he couldn't remember exactly what it was."hCG is short for human chorionic gonadotropin. It's a hormone that shows up in the blood and the urine when a woman is pregnant," she explained. "Because of this, we would like you to come back in for some more tests just to make sure that it isn't cancer. However, it could also be even more rare because you could be pregnant. The only reason that I bring such a thing up is because the symptoms that you described are most commonly associated with pregnancy.""Am I on Candid Camera or something?" Harry blurted."No, no, this is real," the doctor chuckled. "Being that you have the schedule that you do and aren't going to be here after tomorrow, you have some options. I can set up an ultrasound appointment for you at a hospital in the next city you're going to be in or I can make special arrangements for you to come here for an ultrasound after your show tonight."Harry thought for a minute. "Could I just take a take-home pregnancy test?""I wish it were that easy, but that's only going to detect the hCG in your body without any further information. With an ultrasound, we can see what is inside of you," she told him."I guess that I could do tonight. Are you sure that's alright though? I could hurry in tomorrow morning before we leave," Harry answered."It's alright, Mr. Styles. I work late tonight anyway. I would just be keeping the ultrasound wing open," she told him. "I will text you from my cell phone number. Let me know when you're on your way and I'll let you know where to go.""Alright. Thank you very much, ma'am," Harry thanked.They bid goodbye and Harry hung up, now feeling more stressed and worried than ever. There was no way that he could be pregnant. He had a penis, not a vagina! But at the same time, that also could mean that he has cancer. He didn't want that either. It was a sticky situation either way and he didn't know which he'd rather have to deal with."Was that the doctor, H?" Niall asked, plotting down next to Harry.He nodded, still in disbelief. "They need me to go in tonight after the show.""What? Why? Harry, what's wrong?" Niall quizzed."They need to take an ultrasound. Don't tell anyone...I don't want it to be a big thing," Harry told him quietly."No worries, H. Do you need me to go with you?" he asked."Yeah, if you could," he nodded, trying to keep himself from crying.What was he going to do if he had cancer? He could die. But then there was the fact that if he was pregnant, he would have a kid. He wants children, but it just wasn't the right time. Then there was the fact that Louis was the father since that was the only person that he had had sex with. His stomach wrenched. What was he going to do with a baby that he was going to have to raise by himself?----Harry and Niall rushed off the stage as soon as the show ended. They needed to get to St. Joseph's as soon as they could, but it was going to be nearly impossible because of the concert traffic. However, Preston was reassuring them that they would get there before anyone realized that they were gone. They ran down to the underground parking lot and climbed in the awaiting SUV."Good show tonight, mate," Niall panted."Thanks. Same to you," Harry responded, typing out a text to Genevieve.The truth was that he felt that his performance was off the entire night and rightfully so. It had been technically since he and Louis had ended things, but it was even more so because he was either carrying his ex's child somehow or he had a very rare and deadly cancer. There was a valid reason for him not being himself and he knew that the fans would start questioning it. What was he going to tell them? He didn't want to lie. He'd been lying to them for five years already and he didn't want to continue building on the mountain."Everything's going to be okay, Haz," Niall said with a small smile. Harry could only hope that it would be.They got to the hospital and Harry directed Preston to the correct area of drop off. Unlike earlier in the day, there wasn't many cars in the lot. Harry was thankful because that meant that less people would see him. Niall ran behind him as he quickly walked through the hospital to where the ultrasound lab was. His heart was pounding through his chest as he realized that he was going to find out whether he would die in a month or be holding a child in nine. All of it was so overwhelming to think about.Genevieve was sitting at the computer in the ultrasound room when they had gotten there, smiling as the two of them came rushing into the room. "That was faster than I thought. Nice to meet the voice behind my daughter's speakers.""Hi, Genevieve. Thank you for seeing me so late," Harry said breathlessly, grabbing her hand in both of his. "I hope you don't mind that I brought Niall with me.""It's perfectly fine. It's an overwhelming situation. I couldn't imagine you not being here with someone," Genevieve told him. She turned to Niall. "Nice to meet you, Niall. You're even more adorable in person.""Thanks," Niall chuckled, his cheeks turning red."Do you want to wear a gown or not?" she asked Harry.Shaking, he said no. Niall made his way to his bedside and Harry crawled onto the ultrasound chair, lifting up his shirt so his midsection was exposed. He took a deep breath and squeezed his eyes shut as Genevieve spread the cold jelly onto his skin."Before anything, what exactly is going on here? Why does Harry need an ultrasound on his stomach?" Niall asked, stopping the doctor before she put the wand onto the gelled area."When we were examining Harry's blood sample earlier today, the hormone hCG showed up. It usually only shows up in women who are pregnant, but it can also be a very rare form of cancer. I wanted to get him into an ultrasound as soon as I could because I wanted to find out what it was for sure before it got to be too late and we could treat it properly whether it be pregnancy or cancer," Genevieve explained.Niall's brow was quirked. "How could Harry be pregnant though? He's a, you know, a guy?""It's possible. It all starts in the womb of the mother and it's very rare. The fetus is developing in the mother and when trying to form genitalia, it forms both female and male reproductive parts. However, once the child is born and operated on or has some sort of ultrasound or X-ray, the abnormality isn't caught. It's most common in gay men because they get penetrated. If there is no protection being used and their partner ejaculates inside the rectum-slash-vagina, it will act just like the reproductive parts of a woman, either determining whether or not the person is pregnant," Genevieve explained. Niall just looked at her like she was half-alien. "Don't worry. I've never had a case nor have I ever heard of a case happening in quite a while. Hopefully, everything is alright and it was just a misreading."With all of that information now in his head, Harry collapsed his head on the paper pillow. He just wanted to get it done and over with so he could go back to the hotel and sleep. He was exhausted. "Can we find out what's wrong now?""Most certainly, Mr. Styles," Genevieve exclaimed with a chipper smile on her face.She put the wand on Harry's abdomen and began to move it around. Both Harry and Niall had their eyes fixated on the screen, not sure of what they should be looking for. Genevieve rolled the wand into different spots and then pointed out that they were looking for either a blob or a dark spot. It wasn't but two minutes later when Genevieve spoke up."Holy mother of Mary," she said in shock."What?" Niall and Harry asked in unison."I never thought that I'd ever see anything like it," she said, avoiding their question."What? Do I have cancer?" Harry asked, his voice cracking with worry.Her wide eyes turned to Harry, an excited smile plastered across her face. "No, Harry, you don't have cancer. You're pregnant. You're going to have a baby!"Harry just laid on the table, frozen. How could that have been? He's had his body scanned before. Why didn't his supposed vagina ever show up in that? It was all too overwhelming. The fact that his body had both male and female reproductive parts, there was a baby growing inside of him, his ex-boyfriend was the father of said child, he was going to have to hide his bump for the next however many months, explaining how he somehow got a child that was going to be the Larry Stylinson love child that all of the fangirls fantasized about....he didn't know what to do. He didn't know how to react.But what made his stomach churn was figuring out how the hell he was going to tell Louis about it.----
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
5 Weeks Pregnant
Performing had become hard to do. Now that Harry knew that he was, in fact, pregnant, it felt like all of the symptoms were either making themselves known or getting worse. The fans were starting to ask questions and wonder why he was acting so weird. He had to go to the bathroom several times during concerts, exhaustion fell over him not even halfway through the concert, he felt bloated, and he found himself having to sit down more frequently. Over all, he wasn't able to perform to his fullest. It was like he was jipping his fans and it made him feel like absolute shit.There was also the stress of Niall being the only one knowing about the situation. He wanted to tell Liam, but he knew that he was going to push him to tell Louis and Harry was certain that he wasn't ready for that. They weren't on good terms as it was, so it would just add some more tension onto it."Are you alright, mate?" Liam asked, walking into the living room area of the giant suite."Huh? Yeah, fine," Harry answered, rubbing his eye with the heel of his hand. "Just tired.""You've been tired an awful lot more than normal. Is your sickness still acting up?" Liam continued."I'm better, but I think the recovery period is just a taking a little longer than normal because of the performing and that," Harry admitted, feeling bad that he was lying to one of his best friends."Do you want something to eat? Maybe that'll help," Liam asked.Harry thought about it. "I'm craving a giant bowl of spaghetti and meatballs to be honest," Harry told him, licking at his lips as the image popped into his head."As good as that sounds, I was just going to heat something and go from there," Liam chuckled. "Could I interest you in some Eggo waffles?"Harry laughed and nodded. Before he knew it, Liam was handing him a plate of waffles, the sweet smell drafting through Harry's nostrils. He grabbed the plate form him and nearly shoveled the breakfast food down in one bite. Liam sat next to him, clicking on the television."What would you like to watch?" Liam asked, taking a forkful of his waffle into his mouth."Whatever you would want to," Harry answered with his mouth full.Liam looked at his plate and laughed, seeing the almost empty plate. "I'm glad you like the waffles.""I just got really hungry and the waffles smelled so good," Harry told him. He set the plate down on the coffee table as he rose to his feet and started off towards the bathroom."Where are you going? Do I smell? I just took a shower this morning," Liam wondered."I have to use the toilet," Harry told him as he ran off into the bathroom.It was frustrating if Harry had anything to say about it. He had just been in the same position not even an hour before. Not only that, but as he sat there, he felt his pecks begin to ache. What the hell did that mean? He couldn't breastfeed. That was just impossible. There was literally nothing there to hold enough milk to feed a child. That's when he began to panic as his thoughts began to race. He wasn't going to get man boobs, was he? That would be his luck. He wanted to try and keep his pregnancy a secret for as long as he could. If he were to suddenly get a B cup sized chest without gaining any weight in his abdominal area, people were going to start questioning him.With a deep breath, he finished his business and looked at himself in the mirror. He looked at his features. He looked tired. In fact, it appeared as though he was a forty year old mother that had just finished running around after five kids. His eyes filled up with tears as he thought about how horrible he looked. The emotions were the worst part, in Harry's opinion. He was already sensitive as it was, so to add the extra bout of it was the worst thing. He cried at pretty much every little thing.Harry walked out of the bedroom after cleaning himself up a little bit and sat back down in his spot. Liam turned to him, a look of genuine concern in his deep brown eyes."What?" Harry asked with a slight smile."You don't have to keep hiding it from me anymore. I want you to know that I know what's going on," Liam explained. Harry's face fell and he felt the slight oncoming of a panic attack. "Don't worry. Louis doesn't know. I didn't tell him."That made Harry feel a little bit better. "How do you know?""Well, Niall told me. I know that he wasn't supposed to, but it's my fault. I forced him to tell me," Liam explained. Harry shook his head. By force, he probably means flashing him a smile because Niall is a weak tit when it comes to anything that Liam does. "I also started to pay attention to things that you've been doing. Like going to the bathroom so much, your exhaustion. I knew that he wasn't kidding."Harry was silent. He wasn't exactly angry that Liam knew or that Niall had even spilled the beans. He was more relieved that Liam was handling it as well as he was. It wasn't everyday that your best mate that was a male was pregnant with your other best mate's child."So, how far along are you?" Liam inquired.A smile formed on Harry's rosy cheeks. "Around five weeks.""Wasn't that when you and Louis were fighting?" Liam chuckled.Harry's cheeks tinted a deep crimson. "Yes. Apparently, our makeup sex is powerful enough to create a baby.""Jesus, Harold!" Liam chuckled before he got serious. "I'm happy for you, H. You'll be a good dad-mom. And I'll be the favorite uncle.""I'm sure both you and Niall will be," he responded. Harry couldn't help but beam. He put his hands onto his stomach where his baby was growing inside. For once in the past week of him knowing about this baby, he was actually happy and excited for it to come. It was nice having two friends that were 100% behind him and supporting him in it.Harry was about to ask Liam to help him come up with names when Louis stormed into the room. Harry's smile quickly fell and he removed his hands from his stomach. The sight of him still brought a lot of anger on. He wished that the tour was nearly over so he wouldn't have to see the guy everyday and get worked up. That wasn't healthy for him in his condition. He didn't want to cause his baby anymore stress than he already had."What's up, mate?" Liam called over to him. He looked at Harry with a worrisome glance."Counting down the days until this fucking hiatus starts," Louis sneered.Harry just looked down, not knowing if it were because of them or if it was because he had to deal with the other pregnancy. Just thought of it broke Harry's heart. He wasn't sure if he believed Louis' claims of it not being his in their last fight. It seemed like it was something that Modest! would do, but at the same time, why would they go through all of that trouble of getting a woman pregnant. It didn't make much sense.Harry looked up the same time as Louis walked out of the kitchen, making awkward eye contact with him. Quickly, Harry averted his eyes, scared as to what was about to be said. But there weren't any snide remarks or comments made and Louis was out of the room."When are you going to tell him?" Liam prompted in a hushed tone.Harry looked into his brown eyes. "I can't. I don't know. It's...he's not going to be happy about it and he's not going to want it.""I wouldn't say that he's not going to want it," Liam responded."Why would he? He's going to have another kid and you can clearly see that he doesn't want that one," Harry argued."Yes, but I think it's because it's being made into such a spectacle," Liam defended."He's going to want me to get rid of it," Harry whispered, tears beginning to cascade down his soft cheeks. "I'm scared. I can't do that.""Nobody's asking you to," Liam reassured, placing his hand on Harry's shoulder. "Remember, it's your baby, your body, your choice. You can decide what you want to do with it. Louis is not the boss of you. Also, I don't think he would ask you to get rid of it. He may be an arse, but he's not that big of one."Harry hoped that he was right. He used to think Louis wouldn't do a lot of things, like cheat on him. But he did. That was a huge part of the problem; Harry didn't know what to believe anymore.----
One Week Later
"You have to tell him, H. He's getting suspicious as it is," Niall urged, holding Harry's hair behind him as the pregnant lad vomited into the toilet."I can't. I won't," Harry panted between heaves."Harry, your morning sickness is happening constantly and not just in the morning. I'm not a doctor or versed in anything having to do with pregnancy, but I'm pretty sure that you shouldn't be getting sick this often. You need to tell him because you're stressing out about it and if that doesn't do anything, you need to see a doctor to get it taken care of," Niall continued. "If you want, Liam and I can be there with you.""I refuse to say anything. I'm fine, Niall!" Harry yelled.Once he was done, he got up and pushed past Niall, going back into their dressing room where Liam and Louis were conversing. He felt eyes on him and he knew that they belonged to a certain ex of his. He didn't turn to look and just went back to his usual couch next to the water jug and pulled out his phone. He just wanted to go back to the hotel and go to sleep and forget about everything that was happening, but they had to wait for their SUV driver to get there because there was a traffic backup.As he scrolled through Twitter, he felt the cushion next to him dip with the weight of another person. He pretended that he was oblivious to the person, not wanting to speak anymore that night. It was probably Liam trying to be the voice of reason and would try and tell him that he needed to tell -"Harry?"His heart dropped into the pit of his stomach at the sound of the familiar voice. He continued scrolling through his timeline and made a noise under his breath, encouraging him to continue on. "Hmm.""Mind if I sit here?" Louis asked."Go ahead. You'll do what you want anyway," Harry muttered with quite a bit of edge to his voice.He heard Louis draw a breath. "Listen, Harry, I know that I'm the last person you want to -""Don't even start with that. I told you once and this is the last time. I can't trust you," Harry snapped. It was not the right time for this bullshit."I was just wondering if you were okay," Louis responded.Harry finally turned his head to make eye contact. "What?""Well, you've been sick for the past month and it doesn't seem like you're getting any better. I know that it's none of my business, but I was worried," he admitted, averting eye contact with him as well.Harry swallowed. "I'm...I'm fine. It's just something that I need to let run its course." Yeah, a nine month long course.Louis snorted and laughed. "Yeah? It's almost like you're pregnant."Harry forced himself to let out a half chuckle at the comment. "Yeah..."Louis cocked his eyebrows, thrown off by Harry's reaction. "That would be ridiculous...wouldn't it?""Yeah. Completely and utterly ridiculous," Harry said shortly.Louis just shrugged it off, not thinking anything more of it. Harry gulped, hoping that Louis didn't think it was that ridiculous when the end of nine months rolled around.----
13 Weeks Pregnant
"Dude. it's been over three months. You have to tell him," Niall stated matter-of-factly."Dude. It's been five years. You have to tell Liam you want to swallow his dick," Harry sassed back.The two were sitting in their bunks on the tour bus, hanging out and doing their own thing while casually saying things to each other. The beds had actually started to make Harry's back hurt more than they already had before the pregnancy or even just a few weeks into it. However, it was better than sitting upright and not being able to stretch himself out."You do realize that your stomach is showing, right?" Niall continued."Yes, Niall, I do know that. That's why I'm hidden back here so I can walk around in a normal t-shirt without having to hide it under a thick sweatshirt in seventy degree weather," Harry remarked."God, you are a sassy arse when you're hormonal," Niall exasperated. "What I'm trying to get at is that he's going to notice sooner rather than later.""Excuse me, Niall, but last time I checked, you weren't the one carrying a child with your ex that happens to be an untrustworthy slime that's very publicly having a child with another person," Harry snapped.Before Niall could retort, Harry jumped down off of the bunk, wanting something to drink along with his ranch Dorito and cottage cheese concoction. He had never been a fan of it before, but the pregnancy gave him the oddest cravings."Do you want anything?" Harry asked the blonde snidely."Yeah, a clothespin so I don't pass out from your gas," Niall cocked off."It's the sweet smell of a new life forming," Harry smirked.Before he opened the dividing door between sections of the bus, he put his ear to it to find out if anyone was on the other side. When he didn't hear a peep, he slid open the door and walked out, thankful that the kitchen was right there and he didn't have to go far. Minding his own business, he grabbed the ingredients he needed to make his concoction, adding a slight whistle to his work. He turned to grab a paper plate from the cupboard when he noticed someone else in the room, looking at him with a slightly horrified and confused expression."Oh, hey, Lou. Didn't see you out here," Harry choked out, a slight crack in his nervous tone."You want to tell me what's going on?" Louis asked, his eyes going down to Harry's protruding stomach and meeting his eyes again."I'm getting something to eat. Nothing too exciting," Harry stated, wanting to avoid the question. He quickly turned around. "Hey, Niall, can you grab me the sweatshirt on my bunk?!""It's like ninety degrees in he-" Niall responded."Just bring me the damn sweatshirt, please!" Harry hissed, trying not to sound desperate.Niall got to the doorway and noticed Louis sitting on the couch. A smirk formed on the blonde's face. "I don't think you'll be needing this. It's pretty roasty in here."Harry was about to lunge at him, but Niall quickly slid the door shut, leaving the poor lad exposed. He shut his eyes briefly, hoping that Louis wouldn't try asking him anything. He didn't know what to say. He couldn't use the excuse that he had gained weight, could he? He hadn't really gained it anywhere else for that to be a legit excuse. He turned back to the counter to continue making the snack, but Louis interrupted him."You remember when I asked you if you were pregnant?" Louis asked, now standing on the linoleum divide between the kitchen and 'living room' of the bus."Yeah," Harry answered casually."Well, are you...?" Louis continued."Yes," Harry blurted out bluntly. It was too late anyway. Harry grabbed the finished snack and walked back to the bunks. "Now, if you'll excuse me."----
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Harry was changing into a very oversized and loose fitting sweater for the interview that they had to do. He was going to wear one of Liam's sweaters because they were baggy and hid his bump really well, but management had immediately kiboshed it because it made him look like a slob and it would spark romance rumors. Harry was originally upset because he didn't think that he had anything in his mobile wardrobe that would fit him and not show anything, but then he found the sweater and figured that would be that until the next one."That's an improvement," Gary had scoffed, scanning Harry's body over. Harry felt his heart rate pick up, fearing that he would notice the bump if he looked hard enough. "Why are you going away from your usual look?""Just feeling a little under the weather, s'all," Harry shrugged."Have you gained weight?" Gary asked.Harry's eyes widened. "N-no? Maybe a little. I've been eating an awful lot and haven't been all that active.""You've been acting like my nephew. He has diabetes, you know," Gary prompted. "Maybe you should get checked.""I don't think it's that. In fact, I know that it isn't," Harry smiled tightly."Don't be so sure," Gary muttered. "We can't have you turning into a diabetic. That would ruin everything."Harry just rolled his eyes as Gary walked away. He was such an asshole. It made Harry gag at just how shallow and cold that man was. He discriminated against the LGBT+ community and now he was discriminating against diabetes. It was people like him that deserved to burn in the depths of Hell.Louis walked into the room and Harry immediately turned to go somewhere else. He had avoided speaking to him since he had blurted out his pregnancy the day before because he didn't want to deal with the argument and questions that were floating around the boy's mind. As much as he felt bad, he didn't because he had to do what he had to do in his time of desperation and exposure."Harry, can I speak to you?" Louis' voice rang. Harry continued walking, pretending that he didn't hear him calling behind him. "Harry Edward Styles, I know that you can fucking hear me. Turn your arse around right now."The sound of utter anger in his voice was enough to make Harry halt. He never liked when Louis was angry. It was scary. It wasn't that he hit or anything, but he was just one of those people that you didn't want to see get angry. Harry turned around and looked at his ex-boyfriend square in the eye."What?" Harry asked, crossing his arms over his chest."So, you're going to completely disregard what happened yesterday?" Louis prompted."You asked a question and I answered. What more do you want me to do about it?" Harry shrugged."I want some fucking answers, you prick," Louis snapped through gritted teeth.Harry opened his mouth, but a member of the crew waved for them to go with her. Taking it as his cue, Harry pushed past Louis and hurried after her, thankful that he didn't have to explain himself at that moment. It was a hard enough time trying to hide it from management without saying anything. He wasn't going to openly talk about it and risk Gary or someone walking by and knowing his dirty little secret.----"What's with the recent style change, Harry? Not like you to wear baggy sweaters without any tattoos showing," the interviewer chuckled.Harry smiled, holding his hands tighter, hoping that the stance that he was sitting in didn't reveal any signs of a bump. "We all need a change every once in a while. My surname is Styles after all. I'm obligated to change it up.""Well, you look just as good as usual," the interviewer complimented.Harry let his shoulders relax after the conversation about him was finished with. The rest of the interview played on and he acted like his normal self. But out of the corner of his eye, he watched as Gary eyed him suspiciously. He did that normally anyway in case of any fast ones that he or Louis pulled, but this time was different. This time, he was looking at Harry and only Harry. It made him uncomfortable and it made his mind whirl as he hoped that there wasn't any suspicion about anything.It seemed that the rest of the interview went by slowly. Between craving a five course meal of purely mozzarella sticks and having to pee, Harry was dreading having to talk to Louis. He knew that it was going to happen as soon as they got back to their suite, whether he wanted it to or not. They had to live in the same space together and it wasn't easy to hide. It wasn't like they could go out in public without being mauled.After the show went to commercial break, the boys were rushed offstage so they could set up for the next guest. They followed orders from their security, which was to go back to the bus as soon as they could so they could get back to their hotel over an hour away at a reasonable hour. Niall and Liam were jibbering back and forth together about God knows what while Harry was walking as fast as he ever had so he was at the forefront of the group and could get to the bathroom and avoid Louis for as long as he could.Thinking about what he was going to say to him was hard to do. It was hard to explain male pregnancy to someone that didn't even know that it was possible. Especially when Harry didn't have much knowledge on the topic himself. He had actually surprised himself for as blunt and casual as he had been with him. He knew that it was going to come to an end once Louis cornered him. If anything, Harry was expecting to leave the conversation with tears running down his cheeks and thoughts in his head that he didn't want to be there.Harry walked out of the small restroom, hearing the three other boys talking and laughing obnoxiously in the living area of the bus. With that in mind, he snuck up onto his bunk, pulling the curtain so he was hidden behind it and nobody would know that he was even there until they had to get off. He was going to avoid the confrontation as long as he could and at any cost.The sounds of rainstorms were finally putting Harry to sleep after what felt like eons of him lying there. His brain was finally drifting into his dreams when the bright light of the ceiling lamp was suddenly shining in his eyes. He opened his tired eyes, not going further than a squint. Louis' tired and serious expression came into focus, Harry's heart dropping slightly. He gently yanked the earbuds out of his ears and paused the sounds coming from his phone."Can I help you?" Harry muttered with a tired voice."We need to talk. Can you come out here please?" Louis firmly said.Harry rolled his eyes, throwing his legs over the side of the bed. With one hand, he rearranged his sweater over his bump. Surprisingly, Louis stuck his hand out to him, as an offering to help him down. Reluctantly, Harry took it and crawled down from the bunk bed. Once he was on both feet, Louis immediately dropped his hand and they walked out to the living area. Harry half expected one of the other two - if not both - to be sitting out there as well, but they weren't.Harry took a seat in the chair and watched as Louis quietly shut the door that would separate them from the "coziness" of their bunks. He came over, looking down as he walked and sat down in the chair across from him. He folded his hands and he looked up at Harry, his light blue eyes meeting Harry's."So, do you want to explain yourself?" Louis asked flatly."Excuse me?" Harry responded, not entirely sure how to respond."How the fuck did you get that in you? You do realize that it's impossible for a male to get pregnant, right?" Louis quizzed, pointing towards Harry's protruded stomach."Well, it's pretty simple, actually. You put your dick in me and have a weak pull out game," Harry said bluntly.Louis looked at him with a shocked expression. "Pardon me, but if I remember correctly, you asked for me to cu-""This isn't a blame game. This isn't who did it first. This is what happened because of our lack of protection," Harry cut him off sternly."I can't believe I'm having this conversation with you," Louis exhaled. "Is it mine?"Harry felt a surge of anger and felt offended. "Are you actually asking me this right now?""Yes, Harry, I am. We're talking about a fucking child here. How am I supposed to know? You could've gone off and fucked some bloke at the bar for all I know. I'm not going to take responsibility for some kid that isn't mine just because you're too hung up on wanting to get back me at me for some reason to go back to the real father," Louis snapped."Where in hell did that come from? How long have you known me? I've made it clear that I don't do revenge, no matter how hard the person hurt me. Do you honestly think that low of me? That I would go through a pregnancy and try to trick you like that? Especially when I wasn't even aware that I could get pregnant? I thought you knew me better than that. I thought you thought more of me," Harry responded, trying to choke back his sobs, but couldn't help it. Louis opened his mouth to say something more, but Harry stood up and cut him off before he could get a word out. "No. I'm done with this conversation. If you are going to act like this is some big disgusting joke and my fault, I want nothing to do with you. Nothing."Harry stormed back into the bunk area, sliding the door shut and locking it so Louis couldn't follow him in. Before he got into his bunk again, he stood with his back to the door and let the tears roll down his cheeks. He felt hurt, insulted. He felt betrayed.----For the majority of the day, Harry just stayed locked in his room. He didn't feel like doing anything except staying in bed and wallowing in his tears. It shook him to the core that Louis had said that and had even thought that Harry would do such a thing. As mad as Harry still was at Louis, he was still in love with him. The few pieces of his heart that had been mended in the last few weeks were broken again. What had he expected? Life couldn't be all peaches and cream through this pregnancy. That wasn't how life was for Harry, not anymore.As Harry stared blankly at the movie playing on his television, the door that conjoined the suites together opened. Harry mentally cursed himself for not locking his side. He didn't want to talk or see anyone. His eyes drifted over to the doorway, Liam walking through the door. He gave Harry a sympathetic smile, one that Harry didn't return."You alright?" Liam asked. "Haven't seen you all day.""M'fine," Harry prompted, trying to avoid conversation."I know what happened last night and I'm not here to talk to you about it, if that's what you're afraid of," Liam prompted, giving Harry a sense of relief. He thought that was odd since he always wanted to keep peace between all of them. He wasn't going to complain, however. "I came to talk to you about your appointment."Harry looked at him, his stomach dropping as he realized that he had an ultrasound appointment in the next twenty-four hours that he had completely forgotten about. "Shit. What about it?""Do you have anyone to go with you?" he asked."Not that I know of. Niall didn't answer me. Why? Do you want to go? You don't have to. I have no problem going myself," Harry brushed off."Of course, I want to go. I think Niall has a training session with Mark during the time of your appointment. Isn't tomorrow the day you can find out the gender?" Liam asked."I find out the sex of the child, Liam. The gender is what they choose to express," Harry told him, not wanting him to mistake the two. "But shit, yeah. Being I haven't gotten in in a few weeks and I'm past ten weeks along."Liam's face lit up. "Do you mind if I tagalong then?""Well, you look like a little kid in a candy shop, so yeah," Harry smirked."Do you have any potential names? I can help you choose," Liam rambled, obviously excited about the baby despite it not even being his own."I haven't even thought. I was going to ask you to help me anyway," Harry smiled."I think you should name the boy Liam," he deadpanned, completely serious. "It's the name of handsome devils, you know.""You're not biased at all, are you?" Harry laughed. He then thought a little more. He didn't know what to name his child. There were so many to choose from. "I don't want it to be original or boring. I want it to be pretty and unique. One that not many other people would name their kid.""I had a feeling that you were going to say that, so I did a little brainstorming one night," Liam told him, grabbing out his phone. "For a girl, I have the names Luna, Teagan, or Ivy. For a boy, I have the names Avery, Hayden, or Ryland."Harry was actually impressed by what Liam had come up with. His friend was creative, but he didn't expect him to come up with names that he would actually consider. As he pondered over the choices for a few minutes, his mind couldn't help but drift. If Harry was having any conversations about baby names with Liam, it should be when he tells him what the final decision was. The decision that was supposed to be made by the parents of the child - Louis and Harry. His dreams of sharing this special process with Louis like normal parents were crushed. The whole plan that Harry had made was skewed and ruined."Hey, are you okay, H?" Liam asked.Harry shook his head from his trance, realizing that tears were making their way down his cheeks. "Yeah, just...just thinking."Liam's face softened as he gave Harry a sympathetic glance. "He doesn't hate you, you know."Harry snorted. "Could've fooled me.""I talked to him. He's just scared, Harry. Like any future father would be. He's terrified. He has a lot on his plate," Liam tried to explain."Oh, yeah, I almost forgot the other child he has on the way. The child he refuses to get a paternity test for. Because that woman hadn't slept with anyone else in those few days. No way that could've happened," Harry ranted, his tears picking up speed."You mean the other child that isn't his? The one that's being forced onto him? I'm not fighting his battle, but I know that you won't believe him. He didn't cheat on you and he wouldn't cheat on you, especially with a PR stunt girl. He's proper stressed out from everything going on. He thinks that you hate him and it's driving him crazy. He's frustrated because he thinks that you're not going to listen to him," Liam explained to him, his voice raising slightly with every word spoken. But when it spoke again, his words were gentle and warm. "You need to talk to him.""What you're trying to tell me is that him saying that I'm just basically being a golddigger is him being scared? Really? And him not making any effort to go to appointments or anything to that effect is his terror and stress? Okay," Harry vented. "The effort goes both ways, Liam. He's not the victim here. If he wanted anything to do with me, he should've made that effort months ago."Harry got out of bed and stormed off, needing to separate himself from conflict. The stress wasn't good for his baby and he was already under enough as it was. The last thing that he wanted to do was go through a miscarriage, especially knowing that it was one hundred percent his fault. The baby wasn't even born and already it was the only one that gave Harry the unconditional love that he needed, that he craved. His baby was the only one that understood.----
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Harry got into the backseat of the SUV that next morning. Not long after, Liam joined him. The ride to the hospital was a tense silence. Harry just wanted to get to the appointment and talk about his little peach inside of him. He didn't want to talk about anything having to do with Louis. He just wanted to focus on his baby. Once they were there, Preston parked in front of the side door leading into the motherhood ward. The two of them got out and rushed into the hospital before anyone saw them. Thankfully, the ward wasn't out front of the hospital and was instead towards the back so the people in the lot and passing by couldn't see much of anything.There was a bit of tension in the air as they sat in the waiting room, waiting for the nurse to call Harry's name. It was nice that his primary doctor made the trip up to Manchester to do the appointment, but it would be even better if he was sitting next to Louis rather than Liam. They were back in their home turf for a spell. It felt just a tad bit more real. Once Harry was back home, it would feel even more real because he would imagine his little peach running around and playing. The only painful part to that thought was that he would be alone in that house. It would just be him until the baby was born. Then it would be just them two. Harry would be a single father, not knowing what in the world to do or how to raise a child on his own. He wouldn't be seeing his ex nearly everyday like he used to because of the hiatus. He was lucky if Louis would even try to see the kid with what he had said to him.In a way, Harry was thankful that the band was taking a break. It was a blessing considering his condition and as much as he didn't want it to happen, he knew that it was needed. It had been five years straight of touring and they were getting tired. Harry had a baby on the way and he needed to take care of it like a normal father would. He didn't want his child to be raised by nannies or take the child all around the world in record time. It would cause the poor baby such stress and he didn't want that. He was putting enough on it now."Harry, the doctor's ready to see you," the nurse announced, catching and interrupting his thoughts.Liam and Harry stood up, the other boy looking at him with a small smile. Harry returned it slightly and proceeded into the room. He was nervous, knowing that he was going to find out what his little peach was. He was actually starting to debate on whether or not he actually wanted to know, but disregarded that thought immediately because he knew that he would regret not finding out as soon as the appointment was over."How've you been, Harry?" the nurse asked once he was positioned onto the ultrasound table."That's great. Touring been alright?" she wondered."It's been...performing has been good. I'm not so exhausted anymore, thankfully. According to literally everyone, my hair has been looking better than it ever has before," he told her, deciding not to weigh in on the negatives that were surrounding him."That's a good sign. You're entering your second trimester. You've probably increased your appetite as well," she giggled. "You're keeping out of stress, I hope."He felt Liam's eyes burning into him as he spoke. "I'm trying my best, but somehow, it keeps trying to find me.""Well, keep shutting the door in its face if you can," she urged. Her eyes drifted to Liam. "Is this the father of baby?"Harry's heart dropped slightly at the question, feeling slightly embarrassed. "No, he's just a friend. Louis couldn't, um, make it."The nurse gave him a sympathetic look, most likely reading between the lines what had happened. "That's too bad. Finding out the gender of your baby is an exciting time for mummy and daddy. At least you've got someone with you though."Harry looked over at Liam for the first time that day, meeting his brown eyes. He inspected his face; he looked almost like he was in a hurry. He kept glancing towards the door and at the wall clock. It hurt Harry that he wanted to hurry up and get the appointment over with. Here Harry thought that Liam actually cared."This is going to be a bit cold, alright, Harry?" the nurse warned."Hey, before you tell him the gender or anything, can you give me a quick minute? I need to use the restroom," Liam asked her."Um, yeah, sure. I'll wait until your back to put on the gel if you hurry," she responded.Liam swiftly walked out of the room and Harry glared after him. What the hell was up with him? Harry thought he'd been acting like a dick, but to just leave in the middle of the appointment like it was a university lecture? What the fuck was that about?"Are you alright?" the nurse asked, tearing Harry from his rage."Uh, yeah. Just a little annoyed, s'all," Harry responded. "I thought he was genuine and gave a shit about this appointment by how he was begging me, but apparently it's no big deal now."The nurse placed her hand on his arm. "It's alright, Harry. He's probably nervous and scared, just like you are. Close friends are just as affected as the parents are. They're happy for you, but it's a big change for them too. They have to get used to you having a little one to chase after.""I understand, but it just isn't like him to-" Harry started, but was cut off mid-sentence when Liam came back into the room."Sorry 'bout that. Um, you can begin," Liam rushed out, sounding overly nervous and jittery."What's the matter with you, Li? You're acting like a nervous wreck," Harry pointed out as the nurse squirted a line of clear gel across his swollen stomach."Me? Nothing's wrong. I'm just...I'm excited to find out everything," he said with a tight smile, although Harry didn't buy it. Something was up."Alright, just give me a second to find your baby..." the nurse told them, causing both Harry and Liam to turn their attention towards the screen. "There's your little one!"The sound of a heartbeat filled the room and the image of a baby showed up on the ultrasound screen. A smile spread across Harry's face as he saw the little life that was inside of him. Liam patted his shoulder slightly, grabbing Harry's attention. He was smiling as he looked at the screen, looking like the proud uncle that he was going to be."How big is it?" Harry asked, looking back towards the screen."You're about fourteen weeks along, so I would say that baby is about the size of a peach right now," she told them. "Baby weighs about 1.5 ounces. Are you ready to find out the sex?""Ye-" Harry began, but was cut off by the door swinging open and the last person that he wanted or expected to see was standing there."Am I too late? Did you find out the gen - I mean sex - of the baby?" Louis panted."We were just about to before you rudely interrupted," Harry demanded, coming across as rude."Who might you be?" the nurse wondered."I'm Louis Tomlinson. I'm the, um...I'm the father," he pushed out, nearly wincing at the last three words."Why are you even here? Couldn't give a shit about us until -" Harry started, his voice rising."Harry, calm down. Louis is here now and he cares just as much about your baby as you do," the nurse told him in a calm voice. "Keep your stress down. It isn't good for baby. Louis, would you like to come over and stand by Liam? We were just about to find out the sex of your baby."Louis hesitantly walked over, now standing next to the bed, his fingers gently brushing against Harry's arm as he gripped the sidebars. Harry felt himself somewhat tense up being so close to him again since the last time he had basically called him a whore."Now that we're all here, are we ready to find out the sex?" the nurse asked again, a soft and warm smile appearing on her face."Yes, please," Harry answered before anyone else could.The nurse did a few things to the screen while rubbing over Harry's tummy with the wand. She brought her free hand up, pointing towards the screen. A smile grew on her face as she turned towards the three of them. "Harry, Louis, it looks like you're having a baby girl!""A girl?!" Harry repeated, his heart rate quickening at the news."She looks absolutely beautiful, Harry," Liam told him.Louis grabbed Harry's hand suddenly. "We're having a baby girl..."Harry quickly yanked his hand out of Louis' grasp, not wanting that asshole to touch him. "Can I have a picture of her?""Absolutely," the nurse nodded. Once the picture was printed out, she shoved it into a file folder, handing it to Harry. "Congratulations on your baby girl. She's going to be such a beautiful little one. Now, clean yourself up and the doctor will be in to talk to you about more details with your pregnancy. I hope the rest of your pregnancy is as smooth as possible.""Thank you so much, nurse," Harry thanked, a small tear escaping out of the corner of his eye.Once the nurse left, it was just the three of them alone in the room. Harry didn't say anything and just opened the folder, looking at the printout of his beautiful little girl. He couldn't wait to finally meet her. He thought that he already loved her more than the world, but there he was, loving her even more. He got up from the bed, refusing help from Louis, and waddled over to the sink and washed off the gel. He walked back over to the bed, taking a seat since he didn't want to lay again. Liam and Louis were mumbling behind him, but Harry didn't pay any mind to it. He was too busy thinking about his daughter and what she would be like, what he would name her....he was in such a euphoric state. For the first time since July, he was truly happy.The doctor walked into the office, causing Louis and Liam to quit their irrelevant chatter and take Harry's attention. She smiled at him and sat down on the stool. Before she could say anything, Liam was walking towards the door."I'm just going to wait in the lobby. This should be a meeting between you two," he told them.Harry mentally cussed him out, not wanting to be left with such a disrespectful excuse for a human being. The doctor put her clipboard with what Harry presumed were his records from all of his past appointments and looked at Harry with excitement. "Well, I can't say that I thought I'd be talking to you about prenatal vitamins.""Can't say that I ever thought I would be taking prenatal vitamins," Harry chuckled."So, before anything, let's get introductions out of the way," the doctor smiled and then looked at Louis. "Hello, I'm Dr. Austin. I'm Harry's primary doctor.""I'm Louis Tomlinson. I'm Harry's boy - I mean, ex. I'm the father," Louis introduced, shaking her hand.The doctor smiled at him and laid out Harry's pregnancy records. The rest of the appointment went a lot like any other one, minus the tension that was being caused by being in the same room as Louis. He wasn't too excited to learn that the doctor was going to put him on prenatal vitamins. He wasn't a fan of taking pills and he never had been. But it was a small sacrifice he could make for his little princess to grow and stay healthy.Harry and Louis left the room about thirty minutes later, Liam sitting out in the waiting room, flipping through a maternity magazine. Harry felt a slight bit of anger towards Liam when their eyes connected. He was upset that he made Louis come when he knew that Harry was upset with him and was supposed to avoid stress. It wasn't fair on his part."How'd the appointment go?" Liam asked as he walked towards them."I need to stop at the hospital pharmacy to pick up some prenatal vitamins," Harry told him, walking down the hallway at the front of the pack."I'll text Preston and tell him we'll be a few minutes," Louis chimed in."Don't bother," Harry snapped. "He knows these appointments take time."As much as Harry had been wanting Louis to be involved, he didn't want it on someone else's terms - like Liam's. He was pissed off at Louis for assuming those things about him and practically wanting to wash his hands of his daughter just a day earlier. Now he was trying to be the father of the year? No. Harry would decide when he was ready to talk to Louis and ready to let him in on appointments."Are you doing alright, love?" Louis asked, sneaking up behind Harry and placing his hand gently across the small of his back."Get your fucking hands off me," Harry hissed, causing Louis to retreat immediately.Behind him, he heard Liam mutter. "Don't."The trip to the pharmacy didn't take very long, but it was long enough to where Harry was ready to punch Louis in the face. He had stood there next to him, acting like a noble hero of a boyfriend. It made Harry's stomach churn (or maybe that was the tacos from lunch the day before) that he was acting like that and thinking that he was going to get somewhere.They were walking out of the hospital, Liam leading them and Louis trying willfully to stay next to Harry, much to his demise. As they approached the waiting SUV, Harry caught Preston giving him a sympathetic smile, one that Harry didn't return or accept. He had been the one that went and got the dick with the knowledge of their feud."So, how are you feeling? Does your back hurt or do you have any odd cravings?" Louis asked awkwardly."Yeah, for you to shut the fuck up and leave me alone," he jabbed, suddenly picking up pace and climbed into the backseat as quick as he could.----Harry felt his back crack as he stretched out across his bed. Niall looked back at him, his eyebrow raising at the crackling sounds. "What do you want?""I wasn't sure if you were making popcorn or cracking your back," Niall smirked.The two of them were sitting in Niall's hotel room, binge watching The Golden Girls. It was something the two of them did when they didn't want to be around the other two or just wanted to bond with each other. Watching that show was their guilty pleasure. A bunch of snarky old women solving their problems over cheesecake apparently wasn't a common show for men to watch, but that didn't stop them. They just watched it by themselves because shows shouldn't be gendered, no matter what. It was meant to be enjoyed by anyone."So, how'd the appointment go today?" Niall asked when Hulu went to a commercial break. "Did you find out the sex?"A wide grin crawled across Harry's cheeks at the question. "Well, my little peach is actually a little princess.""A baby girl?!" Niall repeated excitedly, nearly jumping out of his chair. "Jesus, Harry! That's so exciting!""I know! I can't believe that I'm having a girl. I thought for sure that she was a boy," Harry chuckled, rubbing over his bump gently."How'd the rest of the appointment go?" Niall inquired, pausing the show when the commercials were over."The appointment itself was fine. Well, other than the fact that I have to take prenatal vitamins now," Harry shrugged."Cut the shit, Harry. I know what happened," Niall blurted."I don't want to talk about it," Harry immediately answered."I think that was rather shitty of Liam to do without your permission," Niall continued. "I know that he did it with good intentions, but I don't think he really gets it. That's a wound that takes a little more than bringing him into the sex reveal appointment to heal.""I wanted it to be on my terms. I didn't want someone to force it onto me, especially after he accuses me of sleeping around and not wanting anything to do with her. To say that I'm pressed about it is an understatement," Harry finished, his blood beginning to boil as the memories filled his brain."I can't believe that Louis would say something like that. About his own child?" Niall expressed, shaking his head."Can we stop talking about it? I'm starting to get riled up and I don't want to think about it," Harry requested."Yeah, of course. Sorry," he apologized.Niall hit play on the Roku remote and the show resumed. It wasn't long after when there was a rapping on the door. Niall got up from his place and padded to the door. Harry tried to listen to anything that was said, but he couldn't make out any words or figure out who it was on the other side of the door. He heard Niall's footsteps coming back towards him, so he quickly adjusted to make it look like he wasn't listening or trying to. Just as he saw the look on Niall's face, however, he quit giving a shit what he looked like. Judging by the look of annoyance, Harry could only assume who was on the other side of the door."He's not going to leave until you talk to him," Niall exhaled."I don't give a shit. He's going to sit there and rot like he should. We're in the middle of our bonding night," Harry stated matter-of-factly.Niall gave a half laugh at that. "I appreciate that you're choosing me over him, but I don't think he was kidding.""I wasn't either," Harry told him. "I don't want to talk to him. If he wants anything, he'll have to wait until I don't want to vomit at the sight of him.""Harsh," Niall chuckled."I'm only stating the truth," Harry shrugged.Niall padded off towards the door again, leaving Harry to try and decode the mumbles. Hopefully he would be able to get rid of the shit. Within seconds, Niall came back again. "He wants me to tell you that he's sorry for acting like such a proper shit and he wants to explain himself and have a serious conversation about you and the baby.""He's forcing you to play messenger boy now?" Harry asked, quirking his eyebrow. "What, are we in year nine?""I agree because I really don't want to be caught in the crossfire. However, if you want him to leave, that's how it happens," Niall shrugged. "I give you my blessing to interrupt our bro date to do so."Harry was quiet, going back and forth in his mind what he wanted to do. After a few minutes of thinking, Harry made himself more comfortable, sinking into the cushions. "Tell him to go fuck himself and that I am in the middle of hanging out with someone that isn't going to call me a slut or disown my daughter or stress me out. And then come back and sit down so we can continue watching."As Niall walked away, Harry heard him sigh. He knew how much Niall hated conflict and how much he hated to be involved in it, which Harry felt bad for involving him. It was a nice quality for him to have because he didn't have to worry about ever fighting with him or anything like that. If Harry wouldn't have been into Louis straight away and Niall wouldn't be such a power bottom or secretly in love with Liam, he would've gone for him. But, he was glad that they were just best mates. He was one of the best people to have as a friend that Harry could've ever asked for."He's not leaving, but I also locked the door and..." Niall told him as he walked over to the separating door. "...this door. Just so he won't get the wise idea to try and come through Liam's room.""I'm sorry that you had to play messenger and that I bawl to you about it," Harry apologized. "I know I'm being overdramatic on some things and I shouldn't be, but I just can't get that out of my head and it angers me so much.""It's not a big deal. I understand why you're angry. The whole situation is fucked, if I do say so myself. I know that it's going to take a little time for you to cool down, but I do think that you both should talk before your little princess is born. It'll just become more complicated at that point. And if I know Louis, which I would hope to shit I would after five years, he'll come around and he'll want to take part in the appointments and decorating of the nursery and all that happy parenting shit. He'll want this all to be behind you guys before she gets here," Niall told him. Harry was silent, listening to his mate's advice. He appreciated it and he knew that he had to talk to him soon. He wanted Louis to take part in the appointments and preparation for her. "Not only that, but being that I care more about your relationship than I do finding one of my own, I don't like seeing you two fight. It actually breaks my heart. What is it the Larry shippers say? Crying in Larry or summat? Yeah, it makes me cry in Larry."Harry let out a chuckle at Niall's attempt to use their fans' language. It always added light to any situation. "You're right, Niall. I do want him to take part in the stuff before she gets here, but just....I can't do it right now. He hurt me when he said that. He's been hurting me ever since we broke up and the wound is so deep...I don't know how long it's going to take for me to get to the point that I don't reach the verge of a mental breakdown every time I'm near him.""You'll know when the time is right. You guys can get through it. Fuck, you've gotten through this much shit throughout the years," Niall smiled at him."Thanks, Ni. I appreciate this," Harry smiled. "I owe you one. When I get everything solved with Louis and I, I'll help you get together with Liam."Niall's cheeks flushed a deep red. "What? I don't like Liam like that. We're just mates.""That's bullshit and you know it," Harry teased. "You can deny it all you want, but your rosy cheeks never lie."The two of them laughed and went back to watching the show. It was the first time that Harry had talked about Louis and he didn't want to bash his head in. Why hadn't he talked to Niall all along about things? He had some effect that made everything seem like less of an issue and made you feel calm about it. Liam was nice to talk to as well, but sometimes he was too pushy with wanting things to get fixed. Niall didn't do that."Is what Liam said about the baby not being his true?" Harry asked suddenly.Niall looked over at him with his soft blue eyes. "I don't know, honestly. I wouldn't think so, but I don't know who else she would've slept with. Management has her under such a strict contract, she can't even breathe in another man's direction. I would like to think he wouldn't do something like that."Harry nodded his head, taking in Niall's point of view. He didn't know what to believe anymore. As Niall said, the whole situation was fucked. Just as Harry started to try and put all of the thoughts out of his mind, his phone vibrated against his thigh. He grabbed the device and looked down at the screen, chills running down his spine as he read the short text awaiting his response.
❤
Lou
❤: i know you hate me, but i love you xxx
----
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
“I’m sorry for the shit that I pulled at the hospital. I should’ve asked you if you wanted him there.”
“It’s fine, Li. It’s been over a week. You were just trying to do the right thing and your heart was in the right place,” Harry responded with a smile.
It was the five millionth time that Liam had apologized about surprising Harry with Louis at the hospital and frankly, Harry was about to shove his foot into the lad’s mouth. He wasn’t mad at Liam for it because he knew that he wasn’t trying to be an asshole when he had done it. The two of them hadn’t talked anymore since then. In fact, Harry had actively ignored him as best he could. Ever since the text message that he had gotten from him, he tried to be in hiding, which was difficult since they had to be around one another for the remainder of October.
“Have you two talked at all?” Liam asked, taking a seat in the chair next to him.
Harry shook his head. “No. And I don’t plan on talking to him either.”
“Why not?” Liam wondered. Harry looked over at him, letting out an annoyed sigh. “I’m not meaning to push you to talk to him. I’m genuinely interested as to why you don’t want to.”
“Because I’m angry with him,” Harry answered simply.
“That’s not an excuse, Harry. You have to have a better reason than that. Why are you even mad at him? You know that the whole pregnancy thing with Briana is completely a stunt. She’s pregnant, yeah, but it isn’t his kid. He would never do something like that, whether he’s drunk or not,” Liam tried explaining to him. “Plus, stress isn’t good for our princess. You’ve got her under enough with being on tour.”
“He hid that whole scheme from me. I had to find out about it from the fucking internet, Liam. He couldn’t even bother to warn me that this...this bitch was going to be walking around, claiming that Louis was the father of her child. The sad part? I actually believed that something like that could happen. I don’t know why I thought that, but I just...I did. It wouldn’t surprise me if he would’ve buckled under for management and gave her his sperm. Not only that, but he claimed that I had basically slept around. That it wasn’t his and I was basically just trying to tell him that to be this evil monster and strap him down. It’s was as if he didn’t even know me! I would never do that to him, to anyone! Plus, I wouldn’t sleep around with just anyone, especially during the tour! When would I have time? That really hurt me, Liam. Then to turn around and act like he’s loved this baby girl the entire time and he’s trying to act like he’s the best father in the world? I’m sorry, but I have a hard time forgetting that. I have a hard time letting go of all that’s happened. He’s trying to act like nothing bad ever happened during this entire pregnancy and that’s just not how it’s going to go,” Harry let out to him, hot and angry tears streaming randomly down his cheeks.
Liam was quiet for a few moments, letting what Harry had said sink into the air. “I understand why you would be angry. You have every right to be angry, but I do think that you should talk to him before it gets too late. Just to get on the same page. What’s going to happen when tour’s over? Where are you going to go? You live together. What’s going to happen when she’s born? Are you going to let him be in her life?”
Harry knew that Liam had some good points and it made his head spin as he tried to come up with answers. What would happen when tour was over? It wasn’t like Harry was just going to go out and buy himself a new flat to live while he remained pissed at Louis. That was just stupid. He could go stay with his mum, but that was inconvenient because One Direction didn’t actually go on hiatus until December. There was still an album and interviews to occur and being three hours away in his hometown would just be stupid since he would be spending most of his time in London anyway. Then there was when his baby was born. He didn’t want her to go without her other father in her life, but the selfish and angry part of him didn’t want to let Louis see what they created because he didn’t deserve to.
“I know that it sounds petty, but I just...I can’t let it go,” Harry admitted.
“It’s not petty, Harry. I understand why you’re upset. You just need to talk to him, let him in on what’s going on. It’s up to you whether or not you want to get back together with him, I suppose. Don’t let me dictate what you do with your relationship. I just wanted you to think about when the tour’s over and all that,” Liam explained to him.
Harry nodded, understanding that Liam was only trying to help them and him. Liam got up and walked off, leaving Harry alone with his thoughts. It hurt him to think about it, but he knew that it was only in his best interest to talk to Louis, but he just didn’t want to. It’s like he wanted to hold that grudge against him and wave his baby girl in front of his face, teasing him that he can’t even see his own child. It was everything that Harry was against and he didn’t want to be that person. He didn’t want to be hateful. It took so much energy to despise someone. But he didn’t know if he wanted to be back in a relationship necessarily. If anything, he would let Louis be a good father to their child, but he had to earn Harry back. He had to prove that he was worthy of having Harry fully back in his life.
With that thought in mind, he pulled out his phone and clicked on Louis’ contact, deciding to finally respond to his text message.
To ❤
Lou
❤: We need to talk sometime.
Harry exhaled and set his hand on his baby bump, looking down at it with a fond expression. “I’m doing this for you, baby peach.”
They were about to go onstage for their show in Birmingham and Harry had to make sure that he was wearing a big enough top so nobody would be able to really tell that he was pregnant. That was the downside of it all. He couldn’t do his normal stage routine because it would either hurt his baby or he would be visible. Thankfully, he wasn’t extremely big and it just look like he had eaten an extra big meal, but he knew that the theories would fly throughout the fandom and then management would get ahold of it. The last thing that he needed was management getting ahold of anything because they would try their damnedest to do damage control and it would make absolutely everything worse.
He went over to their wardrobe racks and sifted through the tops, finally settling on one of his extremely loose button ups. That way Gary would stay off his case about him straying away from his usual style. He put it on and examined himself at all angles in the mirror. His swollen stomach wasn’t visible at all unless he were to arch his back like he used to do. Doing his signature whale move had become more and more difficult the bigger that his stomach got because he had to be careful not to show anything when he would do it. With a deep sigh, he nodded at himself in the mirror, ready to go on stage and perform one of their final shows.
He walked out to where they did their routine pre-show chatter and saw Louis standing there, bantering with Liam and Niall. Harry took a deep breath, settling his eyes on him. When he realized that Harry was looking at him, Louis’ eyes flicked over to him, a look of longing gracing his features. Harry returned it with a tight smile, which certainly caught Louis off guard. He quit talking with the two other band members and turned his attention to Harry.
“Hey,” he said, a small smile forming on his lips.
“Hello,” Harry responded, adding to the extremely awkward tension.
“How are you feeling?” Louis asked, his eyes momentarily flicking down to his hidden stomach.
“I’m fine. Just some minor heartburn really,” Harry shrugged.
“Are you okay? Do you need some medicine for it?” Louis asked, his eyes widening to the size of nickels.
“No, no. I’m fine. I just had a little too much fried chicken at lunch and now it’s letting me know,” Harry told him. “It’s also just a symptom of pregnancy.”
Louis nodded, understanding. “It’s good to talk to you again.”
Harry forced a small smile. “Yeah.”
Louis went to say something more, but the crew told them to get into place because they were about to go on stage. It somewhat surprised Harry that Louis didn’t say anything about the text, considering that Louis always has his phone on him, even on stage. They didn’t really talk for that long, but he would’ve thought that he would’ve tried to talk to him then and there since he always figured ‘sometime’ meant drop everything and talk at that specific moment. He tried not to think the worst of Louis not wanting to discuss anything because he figured that he probably did since he nearly flipped out over the awkward exchange that they did have.
----
Harry was seated in the living area of the bus, looking out the window at the headlights passing by on the other side of the road. The speaker next to him was playing sad but calming songs, making him feel at ease and getting lost in his own thoughts. They were on their way back to London since they had finished their last show in Birmingham and earned a four day break before they had to go to Ireland. All of his bandmates were in bed, had been for at least an hour. However, Harry just wasn’t tired. He didn’t know what he was. There was a lot going on his head and he figured that staying awake was better than lying awake in his bunk. It was crazy how much his life had changed throughout the tour. All of their lives had. He actually missed how everything was before shit started to hit the fan. Everything was still complicated, but it was much more simpler than it was now. He wasn’t alone like he was now.
“How come I knew that it was you playing the sad music?”
Harry turned around, nearly falling out of his chair at the surprise. Louis was standing there, wearing a jumper and pair of basketball shorts, his hair tousled in every direction. Harry just swallowed, not sure of what to say to him.
“I got your text. I’ve been trying to will myself to get up to talk to you, but I wasn’t sure if it was you out here until I heard Coldplay on repeat,” Louis spoke again. “Do you mind if we talk now?”
“Um, yeah, that would be fine. It’s got to get done sometime,” Harry told him, his tone tense.
Louis walked over to where Harry was sitting and sat down in the chair across from him. Harry’s eyes flickered to Louis’, his body tensing up. He wasn’t exactly excited to have the conversation with him, but he knew that it was for his daughter’s own good because she deserved to have both of her dads in her life. He took a deep breath.
“Has your heartburn gone away?” Louis asked, referencing their conversation from earlier.
Harry nodded. “Yeah, it subsided an hour or so ago.”
“Have you thought of any names for her yet?” Louis wondered, picking at his fingernails.
“Louis, quit avoiding the topic at hand,” Harry interrupted, just wanting to get everything over with.
He shifted uncomfortably, obviously taken aback by Harry’s sudden sternness. “Okay. What is it that you wanted to talk about?”
Harry took another deep breath, not wanting to have his hormones get the best of him and snap. “Everything. What you’ve said to me, how you’ve reacted to the whole pregnancy thing, the PR stunt,
our
baby.”
“I agree. Things have been very tense and we’re obviously not on the same page. I would really like us to talk and communicate because our daughter deserves to come into this world where her parents aren’t fighting or avoiding each other. And I would really like to be apart of her life if you’d have me. I did help to create her, after all,” Louis responded.
“I’m glad that you agree she deserves what’s best,” Harry nodded. “Let’s start with the whole babygate thing since that’s the root of all evil and our problems.”
“What do you want to know about it?” Louis asked.
“You knew that they were going to make you do that. You knew
way
before it was released to the public. Why the hell didn’t you tell me?” Harry started.
Louis looked down at his twiddling thumbs. “I did know and I did try to talk them out of it, but they refused to do it. They told me that you and I had been being too cheeky and affectionate towards each other and it was driving the fandom nuts. They said that it was their only form of damage control, other than marriage, that would end the Larry once and for all. I certainly didn’t want to fake a marriage to her, so I had no other choice. I would’ve told you, but I just...I didn’t know how. I didn’t want to put this on you and stress you out more than you already were. It wasn’t fair to you.”
“So, you let me find out from some shitty tabloid instead?” Harry pointed out, crossing his arms.
“I didn’t want you to find out that way, not at all. I was hoping to convince them to hold off and not do it, but it was too late. Briana was already pregnant and they already had everything submitted for release and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I tried to convince Briana not to say anything on social media or to paps and just defy Modest!, but she wouldn’t do it. She only wants the money from this whole thing. I thought she was on our side, but she wasn’t,” Louis explained.
“Is it your baby?” Harry asked, looking at Louis dead in the eyes.
Louis quickly shook his head. “No! No, absolutely not! Harry, I would never sleep around on you, especially with her. You have to believe me.”
“Then who’s the father?” he continued quizzing.
“Oli Wright. That’s why he was there the night that we were photographed at that party. I didn’t know about the pregnancy way back then, but they did and he wanted to do it because he got a hefty sum of money for it and he doesn’t even have to pay the child support or spend time with the kid once it’s born,” Louis told him. He looked at Harry with pleading eyes and continued with a desperate and shaky voice. “You have to believe me, Harry.”
The two of them continued to talk, discussing all of the road blocks they’ve faced in the duration of the past months. It actually felt relieving to finally hash everything out and let Louis know how he was feeling. However, the most satisfying thing to talk about was the babygate. Finding out that it wasn’t actually Louis’ baby gave Harry so much faith in him, knowing that he didn’t actually cheat on him and that the only child he had on the way was the beautiful baby girl in Harry’s stomach. It wasn’t as bad as Harry had originally thought it would be, other than the whole having to talk to Louis when he didn’t want to. But Louis was extremely understanding and was willing to answer any question that Harry had in order to have a clear line of communication, which was also nice.
“Thank you, Harry. For listening,” Louis said after a few moments of silence. “I’ve been wanting to talk to you for a really long time about everything. I’m sorry for any pain that I’ve caused you because I never wanted to do that.”
Harry didn’t know how to respond. He wasn’t about to say that it was okay because it sure as shit wasn’t okay. He wasn’t going to let him get away with all that he had done. “It was something that needed to be done. I needed to get into a place where I didn’t want to hit you in the face or anything.”
“You’re going to let me be in her life, right?” Louis asked.
Harry nodded. “It’s what she deserves. That’s why this conversation needed to happen.”
The two of them were quiet yet again, Harry looking out the window at the passing traffic, his eyelids starting to get heavy with sleep. He was working up energy to get up and go to bed, but he wasn’t quite ready yet. His mind was starting to get at ease with his new stress free attitude, something that he hadn’t felt in what felt like ages. Maybe he would actually get a good night’s rest.
“Harry, I can’t keep this in,” Louis blurted, disrupting Harry’s tranquility. “I’m still in love with you and I’m not ending this conversation without knowing that you’re mine again.”
Harry’s tired eyes widened as he watched Louis get out of the chair and down on one knee, fishing something from his pocket, only to reveal a shiny silver band perched in between his forefingers and thumbs. Harry just sat there, completely taken aback by what was going on. It was definitely
not
something that he expected, at least, not from that conversation.
“I wasn’t kidding when I said that I’d marry you, Harry,” Louis said, referring to what he had said back in 2010 on one of their X Factor video diaries. “Will you marry me, Harry?”
----
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Harry just sat there, staring at Louis with his mouth agape. Had Louis actually just asked him for his hand in marriage or was he dreaming it? Out of all that could happen from their chat, a proposal was the most unexpected outcome. While it had been something that he had dreamt about since they had first started dating, Harry wasn't sure if he should accept. He had just gotten used to the idea of talking to Louis again, now he was expected to make a life changing decision?"Harry?" Louis asked, interrupting Harry's racing thoughts. "Will you?""Louis, I...Louis, I don't know what to say," Harry stammered, breaking eye contact with Louis before he spoke again. "This is...this is too much. Louis, I can't give you an answer right now. I just got used to the idea that we were talking again and that you were going to have to be in my life. I'm still not sure what I want. I know what's best, but I don't know if it's what's best for my life and myself moving forward.""W-What does that mean, Harry?" Louis asked, his voice hushed as it cracked with uncertainty."I can't give you an answer right now, Louis. I'm sorry," Harry responded, bringing his tear-filled gaze back to Louis' face that had heartbreak and rejection scribbled all over.Louis lowered his arms and his right hand curled into a fist as he stood up. With a sniffle, Louis mumbled something about getting to bed, trying to make it seem like he wasn't upset or heartbroken, but Harry knew better. The feeling that Harry had in the core of his heart was one similar. He never thought that he would ever turn down Louis' proposal when the time had come. It wasn't at all how he had pictured it happening - hell, none of what was happening in their reality was what Harry had pictured.When Harry thought of Louis proposing, he imagined them being out on a dinner date at a pub that they were frequents at. They would both been having a wonderful time, having a laugh and playing a game of pool, when Louis would stop the game and get down on one knee, taking out the box, giving either the most meaningful proposal in the world or one that was very straight to the point. It would be perfect; everyone in the pub would be watching with smiles as Harry would cry tears of happiness and squeeze Louis in a tight hug, accepting the proposal without any hesitations in the world.The thought of it was so full of hope and joy. It signified lighter times, no complications with management or beards, no babies on the way. It wasn't forced. They both would've been in a happy place without any fighting. However, that wasn't how it was going to be. Harry wouldn't ever get that proposal. He was still trying to find it in himself to truly forgive Louis and feel comfortable with him again. He felt like jumping into an engagement wouldn't be the wisest decision since he hasn't fully processed everything.Upsetting people was something that Harry hated doing and part of him couldn't help but feel like following him to his bunk and accepting the ring just to get rid of the guilt that he was feeling. With a sigh, Harry put his hands on his pregnant stomach, just wanting to hug his baby girl in his arms, feeling like she was the only thing that he hadn't fucked up."Soon, baby, soon," he whispered to his stomach.-----Harry woke up the next morning, the feeling of guilt and disgust with himself still there. He was highly tempted to just stay in bed and not move. That way he wouldn't have to face Louis or turn down proposals or anything like that. He looked behind the curtain, watching as the rain hit the window. A perfect day to do nothing.He fluttered his eyes shut, trying to will himself back into a peaceful sleep, when there was a light knock on the wood bed frame. As tempted as he was to just ignore it, Harry knew that he couldn't do that. Liam and Niall were relentless when it came to wanting attention. Sighing deeply, Harry rolled onto his other side and opened the curtain to the bunk just slightly so he could see. As soon as the natural light cut through the dark bunk, Harry squinted and put his hand up in front of his eyes. When his vision finally adjusted to the light, he looked at the person who was summoning him."Louis?" Harry asked in hoarse morning voice. That was the last person that he had expected to see at his bunk bright and early. "What are you doing?""I wanted to know if you wanted to join me for breakfast. I also wanted to take you somewhere," Louis told him, a small smile forming on his face. "Can you be ready in half an hour or so?""Uh, yeah, that would be fine," Harry agreed, taken aback by Louis' offer.A wider smile appeared on Louis' face. "Great. I'll be watching Liam and Niall play FIFA while you're getting ready."Louis disappeared into the other section of the bus, leaving Harry slightly confused a top the bed. He shook his head, not wanting to think too much into it. It just struck Harry as odd that Louis was acting like his marriage proposal had gotten rejected not even twelve hours prior. That was extremely unlike him. Harry expected him to ignore and avoid him for a few days, maybe even weeks. That was a big thing to be rejected on. It wasn't as casual as denying someone a night out on the town.Taking a deep sigh, Harry shoved his shock into the back of his mind and rolled his way out of bed. He opened the drawers separating his and Niall's bunks, grabbing his looser fitting skinny jeans and then turned around to Liam's bunk drawers, grabbing out one of his many flannels, not giving a shit about management forbidding it. The fans weren't going to notice whether or not it was Liam's or Harry's and if they did, oh well. He was an idiot and didn't bring any of his own. Then again, he didn't expect to end up pregnant.He got dressed, his back crackling like a raging bonfire. That was one of the worst parts of pregnancy; his back hurt even worse than it normally did. He was aware that back aches were to be expected, but he didn't think that they were supposed to be that crippling that early on. He chalked a lot of it up to the fact that his body wasn't necessarily built to carry a child for nine months. Whether it was his weak male body or just pregnancy pains, he was glad that he wouldn't have to be performing on stage for much longer.Quickly, he fluffed his hair and made himself appear as though he hadn't just been woken up. With a deep breath, he grabbed his phone and wallet, shoving them both into the rear pockets of his jeans as he walked through the divider into the other room where Louis, Liam, and Niall were sat, watching the television with such mesmerization."Louis, I'm ready to go," Harry announced, his voice still deep from sleep.Louis' eyes immediately darted from the video game to Harry, a smile appearing on his face as he scanned over his appearance. Harry felt his cheeks heat up, remembering the familiar feeling of being checked out. It felt like it hadn't happened in ages. Well, it really hadn't. Louis got up from the couch and walked over to Harry, grabbing his hand. That really caught Harry off guard. It had been such a long time, he forgot how to respond to physical contact like that."Where are we going for breakfast?" Harry asked."There was this cute little cafe that I saw not too far from here. It's actually within walking distance," Louis responded. "Are you fine with the walk or do you want to take a car? It wouldn't make any difference to me. I just want you and our girl to be comfortable."Harry smiled slightly, appreciating how considerate Louis was acting. "No, I think I'll be fine. It's just a slight back ache. Nothing new, to be honest. What about the rain? Are you okay walking in that?""I think we'll be okay. It's not doing anything right now. If it starts to downpour while we're eating, I'll call Paul or Preston to come pick us up and bring us to our next destination," Louis told him, giving his hand a slight squeeze.The two began to silently walk hand-in-hand away from the bus and out of the garage of the venue that they were in. It felt a little odd being able to be out and actually showing PDA, even if it only was in the garage where nobody other than themselves and the crew were allowed. It felt good nonetheless.Once they got out of the garage, Louis reluctantly dropped Harry's hand, a slight wave of sadness washing over both of them. Having to sneak around had become such a habit, neither of them really thought about it much anymore. Well, other than that moment.There weren't many people out in the streets, making it easy for both Louis and Harry to walk around without getting bombarded with people or questions or paps. That was nice. It was like a glimpse into a normal life a little bit. Well, as normal as it could get. Harry was walking around as a pregnant man, which wasn't something people saw everyday. Then again, hopefully nobody would be able to tell."Thank you for coming with me this morning, Harry," Louis smiled as they entered the cafe."Yeah. It's better than the same old meals we get everyday," Harry admitted. He was a bit shocked at Louis' attitude, but at the same time, he was grateful that the two of them were getting on again. It was a nice change.The employees behind the counters didn't give them a second look as they walked towards a corner booth. Louis took the place across from him, making Harry feel a little bit intimidated. It made sense to sit across from each other because it would be slightly awkward to be right next to one another and try not to have any physical contact with one another. Harry figured he would rather go through uncomfortable eye contact rather than that.The two of them were rather quiet for the first few minutes. Harry was fiddling with the corner of the menu and Louis was twiddling his thumbs back and forth. There weren't any types of communication between either of them. If they wouldn't be sitting at the same table or in the same boy band, you wouldn't even know that they knew each other or had any sort of a past. That was how quiet and awkward it was."Morning, boys. What can I get for you?" a middle-aged woman asked, her Irish accent cheery and welcoming."I'll have a cup of breakfast tea with a few dollops of honey," Louis ordered. "Can I get a cinnamon roll as well?""Certainly. For you, dear?" she asked as she jotted down.Harry looked up, meeting the woman's soft blue eyes. "Um, I'll have a straight black coffee with a spoonful of butter and coconut oil please."The waitress gave him a funny look, but wrote it down without any questions. "Alright. I'll get those out for you."As soon as she walked away, Harry met Louis' gaze. He shifted in his seat uncomfortably, feeling cornered by the intense stare. He put his hands together and fidgeted with his fingers. He didn't understand why Louis would want anything to do with him after he had rejected his proposal. It was really just a mind fuck to him. He knew that he wouldn't want to talk to Louis if it were the other way around. Hell, he didn't want to talk to him now. It was just...he felt awkward because he rejected such a big offer that took a lot of balls for anyone - especially Louis - to ask."So, are you having any weird cravings because of her?" Louis asked, his eyes quickly darting down to Harry's stomach."I haven't really. I want a little more coffee than normal, but that's about it. That and I've been getting hungry at inconvenient times like when we're on stage or in the middle of the night," Harry responded, giving himself a chuckle. "Niall claims that she's going to be a finicky eater when she gets older, but being that she just wants me to keep eating so much, I call bullshit."Louis smiled. "Have you told your mum?"Harry's smile faltered and his stomach twisted at the thought of his mother finding out. "No. I haven't. Have you?""No. I guess I really don't know how to tell my mum that I knocked up a guy," Louis said with a half-hearted chuckle."Yeah, I suppose that isn't really a topic of conversation for anyone, is it?" Harry agreed."On a serious note though, we should tell them. They're going to wonder why we suddenly have a baby," Louis sighed."I suppose you're right. I was going to wait for the right time, but i don't know when that is. They usually say after the three month mark is when you're supposed to go public because the chance of miscarriage isn't as high," Harry told him."Aren't you four months along though?" Louis questioned, quirking his eyebrow."Yes..." Harry muttered, his eyes darting to the side."So, you've been procrastinating it then," Louis said with a smirk. "That's odd. Pregnancy has changed you."Harry chuckled. "I wouldn't say it's the pregnancy as much as it is the shit that I've gone through while I just happened to be pregnant."Louis' smile automatically faltered and he looked away from Harry. He hadn't even realized what he had just said, but he felt like an asshole for it. Even if it was true, it still wasn't fair that he had indirectly attacked him like that."Louis, I...I didn't mean it. I'm so-" Harry started."No, it's true. I put you through a lot of unnecessary shit and I was a complete jackass. I deserved that," Louis stopped him."It wasn't all you, Louis. It was me too. It takes two," Harry assured.Louis shook his head. "I could've done things differently. I could've reacted differently. I could've warned you about the thing with Briana. I also could've kept my big mouth shut before saying anything hurtful to you. But I was an idiot and I didn't. I lost you because of it."Harry was silent. He felt bad, but Louis was right. He found himself wondering if he had done the right thing at the time. It felt like it was. Harry didn't want to be in a relationship with someone that was going to lie to him and keep things from him. That and he didn't want someone that was going to spout off shitty things to him either. But it wasn't fate because look where they are; they were sitting and having breakfast together, actually talking. They weren't back together or anything, but Harry would've never thought that he would be talking to Louis again. He didn't expect to have been proposed to. He didn't see any of that coming. Harry wasn't sure if he believed in fate, but it was pushing them together."Can I ask you something, Harry?" Louis asked, interrupting Harry's racing thoughts. The light above them reflected in Louis' eyes, making them twinkle. It was one of things Harry adored about Louis' eyes."Go ahead," Harry responded."Do you hate me for it? For what I've done?" Louis asked, his facial expression twisting into a mix between hopeful and desperate. "I wouldn't blame you if you did. I'm just...I need to know. So I know where to go from here."Harry broke the eye contact and looked down at his fidgeting hands. "I hated you at the time, yes. For the hurtful things you said. For hiding the stunt from me. I didn't know what to believe. I wanted to believe it was false, but the photos, your face...the whole idea of it. It was too convincing. Who would fake a pregnancy or get some girl pregnant just to avoid a couple of gay rumors? Apparently, Modest did because, well, that's what happened. But do I hate you now? No. I don't hate you anymore. I know that you didn't mean what you said about me or our daughter. And I'm aware that you tried to stop the baby thing from even happening, which I appreciate. I don't know how I'm feeling right now towards you, Lou. It's a mixture of emotions. I'm happy that we're back on speaking terms and that you're willing to be apart of our little girl's life. But I'm also sad because of how long this has gone on, the stunts, the bullshit. I want to trust you again and get back with you because you're the only person I think I could ever love."Louis reached forward, grabbing Harry's hands and spoke with a hushed and quivering voice. "If you love me, why didn't you accept my proposal? You know I'm sorry. I'd never do anything to deliberately hurt you or our daughter. Not again.""My head is a messy place, Lou," Harry told him, his eyes welling with tears. "I don't want to jump right back into a relationship, especially an engagement. I want to take time and ease back into it. I want my conscience to be sure that I'm ready for this. I never said I wouldn't marry you. I just don't want to do it right now."Louis was silent, his grip loosening on Harry's hands. He sniffled, his true emotions about the situation now showing through. Harry felt vulnerable. He's opened up to him before, but not like that. He's never truly told him all of what was on his mind. That coupled with the fact that he hasn't spoken to Louis heart-to-heart like this for what felt like a millennium."Where else was it that you were taking me today?" Harry asked after a good ten minutes of awkward and hurt silence.Louis shook his head, avoiding all eye contact with Harry as his voice came out with a cold, emotionless edge to it. "Nowhere. They're closed today."Harry felt his somewhat mended heart began to break again, knowing that he really hurt Louis. The other boy got up from the booth and walked over to the register, paying the waitress, despite not getting any of the food or beverages. Harry's stomach fell. He thought Louis would've understood.----
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Sadness had been set as Harry's mood for the entire day. Sad and confused. He was seated at the table, rubbing his firm baby bump softly and staring out at the rain. Louis had been MIA since they had gotten back to the bus and it was all because of Harry. There was no doubt in his mind - he knew that it was his fault. All the blame could be put on him."Hey, H. What's up?" Niall asked, plotting his ass in the chair across from him. It was giving Harry deja vu of the night prior."Just watching the rain, thinking," he responded glumly."I can see that. I mean what's up with you? You've been depressed since you got back from your breakfast date with Louis. Did something happen?" Niall clarified. Harry was silent, hoping that his lack of words would get the message across. "What happened, H? He was so happy this morning and he couldn't wait to spend time with you.""He proposed to me last night," Harry blurted out, not going to hide it or sugarcoat it. There was no use in doing that."He did what?" Niall asked, shocked."He proposed to me last night," he repeated, his eyes starting to sting lightly with tears. "I told him no.""What? Why?" Niall asked, flabbergasted."Because I'm not ready. After being at odds with him for so long, I don't want to jump into something that serious that quick. I'm just processing and getting used to the idea of talking to him again. Not to mention, I'm not in a good mental place. What I've had to go through and deal with throughout the entire duration of my pregnancy with Louis, I shouldn't have. I'm not ready for an engagement. I don't even know if I want to be with him like that at this time," Harry explained to him. "He's hurt me. I need to heal a little bit first - not just for me, but for my daughter."Niall nodded his head slowly. "That makes perfect sense to me. Did you explain this to him?""In a different way, yes. It wasn't hurtful or anything, but I did explain to him that I wasn't ready for it yet. I explained it to him twice now - once last night and then again this morning," he responded."He proposed to you twice?" Niall asked, dumbfounded.Harry shook his head. "No, he didn't. He just wondered why I rejected him. I thought that he would've understood. I wasn't mean about it and it wasn't like I put all the blame on him. I feel terrible for rejecting him and I know rejection isn't the best feeling in the world, but I didn't think that he would take it like this. I didn't think he'd be so angry."Niall was quiet. Harry knew that the kid was thinking that he had to pick a side, but Harry didn't want him to. This whole drama saga between Louis and Harry didn't have sides and Harry didn't want to make the people that he cared about most have to pick. That wasn't fair and it just led to more drama. If they disagreed with what one or both of them were saying, then they disagreed. Harry understood that his friends weren't always going to agree with the things he did or the way he handled things. That wasn't how the world worked."I guess, I understand where he would want to keep his distance. It's awkward to just pick up a casual conversation with someone that just rejected you, especially when it was something as serious as a marriage proposal," Niall added in. "Maybe he just needs to take some time and be by himself. I'm sure that he just wants to recover from any embarrassment or anything that he feels. Don't beat yourself up about it. Just wait until he comes back and talk to him. I'm sure that he's not actually angry with you. He's probably just embarrassed. You know Louis."Harry was quiet. He knew that he could just be overreacting. The hormones made it worse, so it would make sense that he was just being an anxious mess. Deep down, Harry knew that Louis would come around eventually. He wouldn't just abandon his daughter because of Harry's decision.----
~Two Weeks Later~
"Have you two thought of a name for her yet?" the nurse asked, applying the ultrasound jelly to Harry's abdomen.It felt like all Harry did was get ultrasounds, but now that they were done with the tour, it was just to make sure that his little peach was doing okay after high stress months like that. It would be the last frequent check up and then they could get onto a normal schedule. Louis was there, standing next to the table. It had been the second time they've been alone since Harry rejected him. There was obvious tension between them and although Louis said that he had moved on, there was something off. He didn't act like normal. He was very short with Harry and acted closed off. Harry wanted to bring it up, but he didn't have the energy to argue if that's what it would lead to. It was better if it was just let go until Louis thought the time was right.Harry looked up at Louis, a small smile on his face. "I've had a few in mind for her, but I haven't discussed them with Louis yet.""What about you, Louis? Do you have any ideas?" the nurse wondered."I was thinking Louise. That way she would have the female version of the world's greatest name," Louis joked. Harry let out a chuckle, enjoying the glimpse of cheeky Louis."Well, if you want to give her the world's greatest name, I think it should be Harriet," Harry joked, wanting to cherish the energy of how it used to be for more than a split second."You two are too much," the nurse laughed.The three of them watched the monitor as the nurse started to rub the wand across Harry's stomach. A smile stretched across Harry's face when the little blob that was his daughter appeared. The heartbeat was so loud and sounded so healthy. Her features were even more distinguishable than they were the last time he saw her. He was so excited to meet her. His due date couldn't come fast enough.Louis suddenly grabbed onto Harry's hand slightly, causing for Harry to tear his eyes from the screen and smile even wider. Their gazes met and the smile on Louis' face was something that Harry had never seen before. He had never seen that man that happy, even during their happiest memories. That was the moment that Harry knew that Louis wasn't going to ever abandon their little princess."What about Rose?" Louis suddenly suggested.That's when Harry's perfect name popped into his head. "Indie Rose.""I think that's a beautiful name," the nurse chimed in.Louis' hand gripped Harry's tighter and he nodded as his blue eyes twinkled. "That's perfect for her."That was the closest that Louis and Harry had been in the last two weeks. It was a different type of closeness than they had ever shared before. It was infinite bond. Because of Indie, the two of them were going to be tied to each other for a lifetime, whether they stayed together or not. The truth was that Harry was coming to realize that he didn't want to be without Louis. He wanted him in his life. There was some healing and processing that he had to do yet, but he knew that he didn't want the book that was Louis and Harry to end. He could see the light at the end of the tunnel that there was a future for them and that was something that made the day even happier. "She's looking healthy and is seeming to develop properly," the nurse told them. "Have you been experiencing any new symptoms?""It's hard to sleep. Like I can't get comfortable. And I've had major heartburn. Is there anything I can take to help with the heartburn?" Harry asked.The nurse nodded. "Tums is definitely something that's alright to take. That should relieve it a little bit. As far as the comfort goes, there's pregnancy pillows that you can get and that will help to give your back and belly the support that it needs. It'll help with circulation as well, which is definitely something that's important during pregnancy.""Where do you get them?" Harry wondered."Pretty much any big department box store, Amazon, etc. Just type it into your search bar and you'll find thousands," she told him.The appointment wrapped up shortly after. Harry was a little nervous, part of him expecting that Louis was going to revert back to being quiet and distant like he was when they were on their way to the hospital. However, as they were walking out to Louis' car, Harry noticed an obvious change in his demeanor. There was an extra spark in his step and he acted like he had just won the lottery. He wasn't walking with his shoulders hunched in and his hands in his pockets, ignoring and acting like he wanted to avoid any contact with any other human beings that he came across. Now he was walking with his head up and a slight smile plastered on his lips. Harry had hope that naming their daughter would help to connect them again, to regain the ability to just sit back and banter back and forth."Oh, thank you, Louis," Harry said surprised when Louis opened the passenger door for him.He just nodded as he closed the door and bounded around to his side of the car. He didn't know where to go from there. It was obvious that he was dealing with a different attitude, but Harry didn't want to push his luck."Would you like to go for lunch? Discuss some things about the baby?" Louis offered as they exited the hospital's car park.Not wanting to pass up the opportunity to bond with him, he nodded. "Yeah, I would love that. Do you want to go to that little restaurant that isn't too far from home?""That sounds like a wonderful place," Louis agreed.That restaurant - Toby's - had a lot of sentimental meaning to Louis and Harry. They had a lot of good memories and laughs there. Maybe the good vibes that radiated from there would be enough for them to rekindle their relationship and to hop over the awkwardness that had made its home there.Luckily, the restaurant wasn't overly busy, so it was more likely that regulars would be there rather than newcomers and they wouldn't be attacked or pounced on. Harry slid out of the car, making sure that his baby bump was covered just enough so nobody would be able to tell. He thought that being off tour, he would be able to walk around with a little more freedom, but he was wrong. Management still didn't know, along with the public, and he went out into the real world more than he thought. And when Harry Styles goes out, the paparazzi are on the case. He didn't want his pregnancy to be announced to the world because of some nosy photographers. He thought that he would be left alone now that tour was two weeks done, but unsurprisingly not. It was just a good thought that Harry had. Now that they were on break, paparazzi felt that it was their job to continue feeding the Directioners content to keep them satisfied."It's been awhile since we've been here, hasn't it?" Louis threw out through the silence."Yeah, since before tour started. Have to say that I've missed it," Harry responded.Subconsciously walking a safe distance apart, they made their way into the restaurant. The familiar waitress - Gene - bounced up to them from behind the bar, a wide smile on her face. "Well, look who's back! Aren't you two a sight for sore eyes?""Good to see you too, Gene," Louis smiled."How was tour?" she asked, leading them to their usual booth in the back corner."It was good. Not going to lie, I'm glad it's over. I'm excited to get some much needed relaxation in. It's been a rewarding but exhausting past five years," Harry told her. He wasn't lying. He was glad it was over. There was so much stress and heartache that he endured, it made the tour feel like it lasted a century."Well, I'm glad that it was a good go at least. I attended the show with my little sister, Ralphie, and Tina at the O2. You boys know how to put on a good show," Gene smiled. "That and it was the only way that we'd get to see your faces.""You should've told us that you were planning on coming! We would've invited you to hang out with us backstage," Louis told her. "We would've loved to see our favorite restaurant staff.""We actually got the tickets last minute, otherwise we would've!" Gene told them. "Alright. It was good chatting with you guys. Ralphie will be right over in a few minutes to take your order!"Gene bounced away, leaving Harry and Louis by themselves. It gave Harry butterflies that Louis wanted to talk about stuff for Indie. There were so many things that they had to do and get ready before their little princess came. Ideas had been spinning around in Harry's head and he was dying to spit them all out at Louis, but he didn't want to overwhelm the poor guy. They had only been at least an hour back to being okay, or at least, that's what Harry thought anyway."Do you like the name Indie Rose? We don't have to name her that if you're not happy with it," Harry asked, figuring that he would ease into the baby talk.Louis nodded. "Yeah, I think it's a beautiful name. It flows together beautifully. It's unique and reminds me of a beautiful flower. If she's anything like you, she'll be as sweet and beautiful as one too."Harry couldn't help but smile at the way he described Indie. He didn't know why he liked it, but he just did. It spoke to him and it just felt right. "I'm glad that you like it. I've been thinking about that name for ages, if I'm honest. I couldn't come up with a middle name for her. I think Rose fits perfectly."There wasn't much more conversation until Ralphie came and took their order. Harry was trying to sort out what subjects he wanted to bring up and in what order he wanted to talk about them in. He didn't want to overwhelm Louis, but they were things that needed to be talked about. Not only that, but he was excited to start treating things like normal parents that were expecting. He wanted the rest of his pregnancy to be as normal as possible and he wanted to be prepared for when Indie would arrive."We need to talk about her nursery and start getting things for it," Harry brought up, figuring that the nursery was another exciting topic that they could talk about."I don't think that it should be your stereotypical pink if I'm honest," Louis stated."I agree with you on that," Harry agreed, appreciating that Louis was actually wanting to discuss things with him. "I was thinking something more soft. I saw this really cute nursery on Pinterest. It was light gray with pastel-slash-metallic light pink and lavender accents. It was cute. I can share the board with you if you want?"Louis just chuckled, confusing Harry. "That's so like you.""What do you mean?" Harry questioned."To create a Pinterest board and plan out everything," Louis told him. "You do it every time you're excited for some event. It's cute."Harry blushed. "I just like to have options.""I love it," Louis told him with a smile.Hearing Louis say that to him, it made a herd of butterflies go crazy in his stomach. He felt like he did around crushes in secondary school. He was sure that he had the dumbest grin on his face because of it. It had been ages since he had felt that way around Louis and it was a feeling he didn't realize how much he missed. Reaching up and grabbing Harry's hands in his own, Louis' gaze connected with Harry's."I would be honored if you shared the board with me," Louis said, a silly grin tugging at his thin lips."I love you," Harry blurted, not realizing that he was thinking out loud. Once the words were out, he didn't regret them because he meant it. However, when he saw that Louis' face fell, that was when he regretted saying it.Louis' grip on his hands loosened. "Um, yeah, that's something we need to discuss."That wasn't one of the topics that Harry had scheduled into his mental itinerary. That was the last thing that he really wanted to talk about because he had a feeling that they were just going to end up arguing. That's how it usually went. Either they would argue or someone would end up hurt. He didn't want to go through that, not after the happiness that they were having throughout the day."What do you want to talk about?" Harry asked, his voice cracking slightly."Everything," Louis said blatantly. "I don't know where we stand, Harry. You rejected my proposal and two weeks later, you're telling me that you love me? Not only that, but you've been treating me like the scum of the Earth before that. Do you see my confusion? I feel like you only are going to keep me around for Indie and I don't want that. I want to be around Indie, but I don't want it to be just because we have a baby together."Harry gulped. He wasn't ready for this conversation. He never knew if he would be, but he definitely wasn't now.----
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
“What do you want me to explain, Louis? We’ve already had this conversation. I told you why I said no,” Harry restated.
Louis nodded. “I know you did. What I want to know is an answer. I want to know if I should keep fighting for us or start moving on.”
“You already have something else lined up?” Harry asked, quirking his eyebrow.
“No, that’s not what I meant it to come across as. I don’t want to move on because I love you, but I don’t want to stay if it’s not going to go anywhere,” Louis clarified. “We’re in a gray area, H. I need to know: do you want to be with me or not?”
Harry gulped. He didn’t expect such a heavy question to be asked, although, he should have. After all they had went through throughout their relationship, throughout the past six months - it was a lot. Harry didn’t want to put up with the lies and bullshit. But Harry couldn’t picture himself being with anyone other than Louis. Maybe he was blinded, but when he imagined his future and how it would be, Louis was always there, whether Harry was thinking about him or not .That gave him his answer.
“Yes. Louis. I do want to be with you. You know that I love you. Fate pulled us together. It pulled us together before we even knew each other. But you have to understand what we’ve been through, what
I’ve
been through this past year. I love you, but I’m not going to jump head first into an engagement. You understand, right?” Harry explained. “I didn’t reject you to be a dick or difficult. We’re just starting to get back on talking terms. We need to get back into the groove of being together. There’s a lot going on right now. I know we just got off tour, but we need to get back to life first.”
Louis was quiet, but he wasn’t mad. He was absorbing what Harry was saying. “I understand. I just...I want you to be mine forever.”
Harry grabbed Louis’ hands and looked at him in the eyes. “I am yours. Whether I have a ring on my finger or not. There’s nobody else that I’d rather spend my life with.”
“Can we quit fighting? Can we just go back to being together and doing what normal parents do while they wait for their daughter to arrive?” Louis asked, an excited smile on his face as he rubbed circles into Harry’s hand.
“Yes, yes, I would love that,” Harry smiled. “Although, I can’t say that we’re going to be very normal.”
“Well, as normal as we can be. It’s not everyday that a man is walking around with a baby in his stomach,” Louis chuckled. “It’ll be good. We may have to hide it from the rest of the world, but you and I will know.”
Harry’s smile grew. He was so excited that they were getting on the same page and that they were going to act like normal parents and do normal things that expecting parents did. Harry’s dreams were coming true. Finally.
“I can’t believe that this is happening. This is everything that I’ve always wanted for us. Maybe it wasn’t exactly like this, but I’m so grateful that we get to start a family together,” Harry told him. “It’s at the perfect time too. With the hiatus, we have an indefinite paternity leave. We have time to spend with our beautiful girl and just live like normal families do for however long.”
Thinking about it and talking about it definitely gave Harry’s stomach butterflies with the amount of excitement. Their future was bright. There was so much in store for them and he couldn’t wait for it. Not that he wanted to quit One Direction, but he was happy that the band decided to take a break from all the touring and recording. He loved all of that, but it was time to live life a little bit. Remember what it was like to live at home and wake up in the same bed for a while.
“I love you, Harry. I really do. I’m glad that we got through this huge rough patch. We can make it through anything, baby,” Louis told him, his blue eyes twinkling in the light.
----
For the first time in months, Harry woke up without much of a backache or discomfort. Not only that, but he also woke up with an arm around his swollen midsection. Adjusting his eyes to the light, he turned his head slightly to see Louis nestled into the pillow, sleeping soundly. He looked so delicate when he slept, like an angel. He was an angel in Harry’s eyes. Yeah, they had been through some shit, but he was still Harry’s guardian angel. He knew that Louis wouldn’t let anything bad ever happen to him and would do anything for him. That’s all he could ever ask for.
Not wanting to remove himself from the heat, Harry nestled in closer to Louis, his chest radiating his natural warmth. He grabbed his phone from the end table and scrolled through the notifications of messages and Snapchats that were awaiting him. There were a lot, but they were mainly from Niall and Gemma, wanting to talk to him about the appointment and also just being bored. Harry thought millions of times that he should just set the two up on a date, but he knew how much of a crush Niall had on Liam and he also didn’t want to risk his sister getting hurt. It would just make for an awkward situation if they would ever break up.
As soon as Harry returned the texts, he received one back and the loud “ping” sounded throughout the room, automatically waking Louis.
“What time is it?” he grumbled, his voice hoarse from sleep.
“Nine,” Harry responded.
Louis just responded by giving him a soft kiss on the neck. It wasn’t in a sexual way - more of a cute way. Harry felt his body stirring behind him, adjusting and getting comfortable without letting Harry go.
“Did you sleep well?” Harry asked, scanning through the trending topics on Twitter.
“I slept a hell of a lot better than I have in a long time. I think it was because I got to hold my little spoons,” Louis lazily flirted.
“You’re so flirtatious in the morning, aren’t you?” Harry laughed.
“What can I say, some people get overly sensitive and lovey at night. I just happen to be that way in the morning,” Louis chuckled.
“It’s one of the best things about you,” Harry responded with a giggle. “You tell me I’m beautiful, even if I have dried drool on my face and disgusting hair.”
“Everything about you is beautiful, from your drool to your hair,” Louis purred.
“Okay, enough. I’m going to throw up if this continues,” Harry chuckled, getting up out of bed.
He made his way into the bathroom, doing his business and making himself not look like such a trainwreck or like he had just gotten out of bed. He knew that he didn’t need to make himself look like he woke up looking like a model, but it was just something that he did ever since he started sleeping with Louis. Not only was it so he didn’t show his ugly side, but it was so he felt more awake. It had become part of his morning routine.
He walked out of the bathroom, seeing a shirtless Louis lying on the bed, the comforter covering from the top of his V-line down. The hormones in Harry were raging and he wanted so badly to hop on top of Louis and ride him like a pony.
“Can I ask why you’re staring at me?” Louis asked, looking over the top of his phone, his arm resting behind his head. Damn, he looked gorgeous. “You have an odd look in your eyes...should I be worried?”
Harry shook his head, breaking himself out of his sex-blind trance. “Um, yeah, I’m okay. Just...hormones.”
A smirk appeared on his face. “Hormones, eh? We can take care of that.”
“Louis William Tomlinson! I am not having sex with you when our daughter is in my womb!” Harry told him, feeling his cheeks flush red.
“She won’t be able to see anything, baby. She’ll be okay,” Louis coaxed. “Besides, I heard that sex during a pregnancy is a hell of a lot hotter than normal sex.”
Harry rolled his eyes, embarrassed that he was having those types of thoughts with his daughter literally in him. “You’re going to have to fantasize about it then.”
Harry was surprised at his self control because every part of him was ready to let Louis ravish him. Though what somewhat stopped him was the awkward feeling he had knowing that his unborn child was also involved. He didn’t know if she could see Louis’ penis or if it was harming her. Let alone if Louis came. There was no way in hell Harry would want that touching her. It was graphic, but it was just...it turned him off.
“You’re such a tease, babe,” Louis chuckled. “How are we supposed to get off?”
“You have a right hand,” Harry sassed.
Louis quirked his eyebrow, taken aback by Harry’s answer. “Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve wanked by myself?”
“I suggest you reteach yourself because this arse isn’t going to be yours for a few more months,” Harry teased. He knew that it was getting to Louis, but that was what made it fun. Plus, it would definitely surprise him if Harry were to help him out a little bit later. He wasn’t so opposed to blowing him.
Louis got up from the bed and made his way in front of Harry, placing his soft, thin lips onto his. Harry felt his heart flutter at the contact, not wanting to go that long without kissing his boyfriend again. Louis traced his tongue across Harry’s bottom lip, wanting entrance. Harry granted his wishes, opening his mouth a little wider and letting Louis’ tongue work its way in. Harry felt himself getting hotter and hotter as they continued, his underwear starting to tighten. Louis placed his palm on his bulge, the touch sensitive enough to make Harry groan into Louis’ mouth. His mind started to whirl, wanting more. But before he could, he pulled his lips away and stepped back, feeling flushed.
“I know what you’re doing, Tomlinson,” Harry pointed out, a smirk on his face.
“And from what I can tell, it was working,” Louis grinned.
“I beg to differ,” Harry sassed, crossing his arms across his chest confidently.
Louis’ eyes drifted down to the half-hard on that Harry was still sporting and quirked his eyebrow. “You sure?”
Harry felt his cheeks get redder than they already were in embarrassment, forgetting momentarily about his male anatomy. “You’re a jackarse, you know that?”
“Ah, you love it,” Louis flirted, taking a few steps towards Harry and wrapped his arms around his waist, pulling him against his warm chest, placing a chaste kiss on his lips. “Pancakes or waffles?”
“Mmmm, pancakes,” Harry purred.
Louis bent down, giving the boy one more kiss on his forehead and then left the room, leaving Harry alone with his happy and loved thoughts. Harry couldn’t help the smile that crept across his cheeks. He hadn’t felt that happy or loved in a long time. He looked around the master bedroom, letting his happiness marinate. The large structure was starting to feel like an actual home.
----
“So, what, you guys are good now? Just like that?” Liam asked.
“Yeah, I guess. Everything feels like it used to before all of the drama heated up,” Harry told him.
Despite them being on hiatus, the band still had meetings, which was what they were waiting for. None of them knew what was going on or what the meeting was about. It was one that was called last minute and they figured it was to discuss more about the hiatus and all of the happy crap that went along with it.
“That’s good. How’s the pregnancy going?” Niall asked.
“She’s doing really well. We decided on the name Indie Rose,” Harry smiled, rubbing the baby bump that was hidden underneath the heavy scarf that was draped around him. Thank goodness it was starting to get chilly out otherwise he wouldn’t know what he’d do or how he’d explain it.
“That’s cute. I really like that,” Liam commented. “Have you decided who’s last name she’s going to take?”
“Probably Louis’,” Harry shrugged, not even hesitating. Though he did receive puzzled looks from his friends. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“I thought you rejected his proposal,” Liam deadpanned.
“I did, but that’s for the time being. We’re going to be getting married eventually. Not only that, but Indie is his daughter and will always be his daughter,” Harry told them, finding it unbelievable that they thought that the two wouldn’t get married one day. They had to. It was now written in their stars.
“That and it’ll save us from doing paperwork in the future,” Louis chimed in, bringing in four Starbucks cups.
“I think this is the elephant in the room, but when and are you going to tell management?” Liam asked.
Harry’s face fell at the questions, the scenarios of how terrible it would go playing through his head. “We can hide the pregnancy.”
All three of the boys looked at him, shocked.
“How the hell do you suggest we do that?” Louis asked. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed and I’m not saying this to be a dick, but your stomach is getting bigger the more Indie grows. How the hell are you going to hide it when nine months rolls around?”
“Well, we’re off tour now, we’re wrapping up on meetings. It’s not hard for celebrities to go M.I.A. We’ll do that,” Harry shrugged. He knew how to hide from the media and stay out of the spotlight. He had done it before.
“What happens when you go somewhere? People are going to see you and recognize you. They’re going to wonder why you look like you’re pregnant. How are you going to answer that? Even if you do hide from the paps, they’re going to hop on your scent when people start talking,” Niall pointed out.
“You’ll go stir crazy if you stay in your house for four more months,” Liam pointed out.
“We’ll figure it out. Nobody will ever know,” Harry answered.
“What about when she’s born? Are you going to keep her hidden then? I know you, Harry. You love children. Not only that, but paps and fans are obsessed with seeing you with babies and they’re like the FBI when it comes to finding out who people are,” Liam brought up.
“Eventually, we’ll say that she’s our daughter. We won’t tell anyone how she got here or anything like that. All they need to know is that we have a daughter,” Harry responded.
“Yeah, but there’s one problem with that. Nobody other than our loved ones and management know that we’re together,” Louis deadpanned.
Harry forgot about that key detail. He didn’t want to hide Indie from the world, but he also didn’t want to have her bombarded by paps and such when they would go out. He didn’t know how to handle the situation. It was too much. He wasn’t allowed to be out as a couple with his boyfriend in fear that he would be sued or fired from the band. He wasn’t allowed to show off his pregnancy for that same reason and also because he was male. He wasn’t allowed to have the happiness that every human being was allowed.
“Boys, quit the chit chat. Meeting’s going to start,” Gary announced, sounding more pissed off than he normally did.
The four boys broke apart and took their places around the table. Harry sat so his stomach was hidden perfectly by the table and the scarf around his neck. Four more men in their management team filed into the room and took their seats in the remaining chairs.
All of them looked very displeased as they sat there - even more than usual. That was when Gary’s eyes landed directly on Harry and Louis. The intensity of them caused Harry to tense up, scared as to what was about to come out of his mouth.
“The reason for this meeting today is to discuss a few of your bandmates and some problems that we’ve seen arise - such as what Mr. Styles is hiding underneath that scarf.”
----
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Harry felt his face go whiter than a sheet and he could see the shook and worried eyes of his friends and boyfriend. Gary was staring at him with a stone cold and heartless expression. Harry slid his hands that were hiding under the table to cradle his swollen stomach, as if to comfort Indie while also comforting himself.“He’s not hiding anything, Gary,” Louis snapped, his defensive side coming out. ‘“Oh, of course you’re going to be the first to defend him,” Gary argued.“Before we get into an argument, what are you talking about?” Liam asked, trying to keep the fight at bay for a moment longer.“So, you’re unaware to the thing bulging out of his midsection? I find that hard to believe,” Gary scoffed.The only thing that Harry wanted in that moment was death. This wasn’t supposed to happen. This wasn’t part of his plans. He knew that they would find out that he and Louis had a child, but it wasn’t supposed to be while it was still in Harry’s womb. He wanted to protect her from that evil.“How do you know that it’s a pregnancy? Maybe he has a stomach tumor. Ever think of that, shithead?” Louis shot.“A tumor? Right. That’s why Paul gave us all of the details of where he was taking you and Harry,” Gary snapped. “You think that he would keep it hidden? Not when he thought that it would save his job.”“So, what else aren’t you telling us? You’re a fucking tranny?” one of the other management members insulted.Harry could feel the tears burn at the back of his eyes. Hearing the hatred come out in these people’s voices, the horrid homophobia and transphobia. They think that they had so much power over him and the rest of the boys and the sad part was that the band let them keep thinking that they did because all of the boys were too scared what would happen if they stood up to Modest!. Where would they go? What would happen? It was a risk that none of them wanted to take.There was shouting going across the room between everyone except for Harry. He just sat there, the voices muffled as he focused on what was going to happen after this meeting and why Paul would even say anything, betraying both his and Louis’ trust. He thought that he could trust him.“Would everyone just shut up?” a booming voice yelled, causing everyone to quit yelling at one another and look at the door. It was the ever so lovely Simon.His eyes scanned the four boys, not looking at all pleased or merciful towards any of them, specifically Louis and Harry. He took his spot next to Gary at the head of the table and his eyes landed on the two of them. “So, I’m assuming by all of the yelling I just walked in on, you know the reason why this meeting was called. Harry, would you like to tell us something?”Harry looked at Simon through his tear-glazed eyes. He had so many words that he wanted to tell that monster of a man, along with his minions, but all he could choke out was: “No.”“That’s bullshit. Move the bloody scarf,” Gary demanded. Simon gestured, saying basically the same thing. A warm tear cascaded down Harry’s cheek as he grabbed the end of the scarf. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see his three friends watching him from their standing positions, sympathy and the look of being ready to attack painted all over their expressions. Harry moved the scarf, showing his bump. “We weren’t fucking lying, Simon!”“Harry, what is that? Why do you look, well, pregnant?” Simon asked firmly. He didn’t sound pissed, but he didn’t sound like he was going to be on Harry’s side either. The man wasn’t exactly pro-LGBTQ+ or male pregnancy.Harry’s eyes shifted up to Louis’ blue and slightly glassy ones, looking for direction on what to do. He didn’t want to lie, but he wanted to come up with some reasonable explanation that would get management off his ass. Louis just nodded, giving him the okay to go ahead and tell them.“I am,” Harry mumbled out into the quiet air. His voice was so quiet that it was almost inaudible. If it wouldn’t have been dead silent, nobody would have been able to hear him.“So why didn’t you tell us earlier in your career - say, when you were signed, that you were transgender?” Simon said, his voice getting harsher.“Because I’m not,” Harry said, his eyes meeting Simon’s beady ones.Simon let out a laugh, mocking him. “Look at this kid still trying to keep the lie up. Son, didn’t you go through sex ed? Men can’t get pregnant.”“Yes, they can,” Louis chimed in.“That’s impossible. The only way that a man can get pregnant is if he’s a fucking woman!” Simon stated, laughing as if the whole thing was a joke.“I have a rare syndrome that they can’t identify right away unless I get x-rays and ultrasounds. It’s called PMDS-” Harry said sternly, yet shaky.“Yeah, yeah, save us the abnormal anatomy lesson,” Simon waved off, not caring in the slightest about what was wrong with Harry. “What we need to talk about is what the hell you’re going to do with it.”“I’m planning on having it and keeping it,” Harry said flatly. “Louis and I are ready to start a family.”“Oh, how precious. These two fags want to start a family,” Gary scoffed under his breath to one of the other members of management.“Well, that’s special and all, but I’m afraid you can’t do that, Harry. You’re not going to be starting a family with Louis. This is extremely against our contract. We stated right in it that you can’t impregnate others and I guess that applies to your own band mates, Louis,” Simon said. “Besides, Louis has a family that’s already being started with Briana Jungwirth. He doesn’t have time for another family.”Harry knew that the whole pregnancy with Briana was a sham, but it still hurt him. It still stung his heart, especially since Simon was trying to make it seem like it was real and wasn’t at all for PR. “You paid her. Louis doesn’t want anything to do with her or a baby that isn’t his. It’s not fair to that poor child to let it go its whole life thinking that its father is Louis when its someone else’s. It’s pure evil that you’d even do that to a child.”“We didn’t pay her. Maybe you should talk to your dearly beloved and keep tabs on him before you go making up this preposterous shit,” Gary snapped.Harry could see Louis’ face turning red with rage and he could understand just how hard it was for him to keep his mouth shut. These people were pushing Louis to the limit and it was only a matter of when he would erupt.“Now let’s get back to the solution to this problem,” Simon redirected, pulling out a small stack of paper. Harry guessed that it was some sort of contract they were going to force him to sign. “I’ve done some discussing with the rest of the team about this and we’ve come to the conclusion that you’re going to get an abortion as soon as possible. You’re not too far along, so you have time before it’s too late. What are you, 5 months or so? The company will pay for the procedure and also get you the best of the best doctors so you’re not physically damaged. Along with that, the procedure is to be kept under wraps and also never spoken of again. After the abortion takes place, you’ll be scheduled to get your tubes tied or whatever the hell so this kind of thing never happens again.”The room was silent as soon as Simon was done reading the words. Harry couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Although he knew that Modest! was evil, he didn’t think that they would go to this extreme to keep the straight and narrow reputation. It disgusted Harry. There was no way that he was going to get rid of Indie. That baby girl had been with him during some of his toughest times. She was the one that had given him the unconditional love and comfort when he cried and wanted death to engulf him. He hadn’t even met her, but he was so in love with her that he couldn’t fathom ever losing her.“Harry, do you understand?” Simon said sternly, shaking Harry from his shock. “I’m going to need you to sign the dotted line.”“No! He’s not getting an abortion! That’s my daughter in there! I have a say in this arrangement just as well! So does Harry! We aren’t going to let you control our daughter’s life. It’s bad enough that you control our lives as much as you do - or as much as you think you can. I refuse to let your grubby old hands even touch a hair on her head,” Louis hissed, his voice full of anger and rage. Harry could hear the pain.Tears were streaming down Harry’s face the more the words repeated in his head. “I’m not signing it. I’m not fucking signing it.”“If you want to keep your career, you’ll sign the damn thing,” Simon threatened.“Are you really threatening his career because of this? Do you know how sadistic and sick you people sound?! You’re trying to get my best friend to abort his child because you think that it’s weird and disgusting. If Harry were a female in this position, I very highly doubt that you would be putting him under this amount of pressure and harassment. You all are fucking hypocrites! You paid a woman to get pregnant just to give Louis a reputation! One that he isn’t deserving of!” Liam erupted. Harry was actually surprised. He usually kept his composure during these intense meetings.“Liam, this doesn’t concern you and your tone isn’t appreciated. I suggest you sit the fuck down or else you’re going to be the next one without a career,” Gary bit.“If you want to take away my god damn career, go right on ahead. You think that I don’t have enough money to live on right now? I do. I’m not giving up my family for a career. I didn’t plan on becoming part of a boy band. I planned on having a family and that’s the one thing that I’ve wanted more than anything since I was a little kid. I’m not going to let anyone take that away,” Harry responded, speaking through gritted teeth as he sucked in his sobs.“Simon, you can’t make him do something like this. This is heinous. This is infanticide on your end. That little baby in there is perfectly healthy and Harry’s fine. There’s no reason to abort her. I’m pretty sure to please management isn’t considered a medical emergency,” Niall spoke up.Louis grabbed Harry’s hand beneath the table, giving it a tight squeeze. It was something of comfort to Harry. Listening to three of the most important people in his life standing up for him and his unborn baby was so reassuring and it made Harry not feel like he was the only soldier fighting in the war.“Fine. I’ll tell you what, Harry. You have twenty-four hours to think about the contract and mull it over. By tomorrow, if I don’t have an answer, we’re going to talk about severance,” Simon demanded. “I see this meeting as adjourned.”Simon got up from his chair and left the conference room, everyone silent. The rest of the management other than Gary followed him out. God knows what Gary has to say to them now. He was even worse than Simon.“I don’t know how many God damn times that we have to tell you faggots that we don’t allow same-sex couples within the band or in general! If you two would’ve just followed direction and put your damn careers first, we wouldn’t be in this predicament. Lord knows that you would’ve impregnated yourself. It’s irresponsible that you didn’t bring up that you’re a tranny. You’ve lied on official documents, Harry, do you realize that? Do you know how much trouble you could be in just because you’re trying to be politically correct?” Gary spewed, forcing the tears already running down Harry’s face to run harder. He felt like a horrible person and none of what Gary was saying about him was true.“He didn’t know, you bastard. Neither of us knew that he could get pregnant. It isn’t exactly detectable unless he gets x-rays and shit,” Louis spat, his voice livid. “That’s a bullshit excuse. You know if you’re a God damn tranny,” Gary continued.“I’m not fucking transgender!” Harry finally shouted, becoming so fed up with all of the transphobia and homophobia that had flown around in the past half an hour. “I have a rare fucking disease that makes me a man with a functioning uterus along with functioning male genitalia. I don’t understand how many times you’re going to have to be told before you get through your thick and ignorant skull! If you think that I am going to give up my baby girl, my family, just to keep in good graces with this fucking management team, you’re fucking wrong. I’m not going to do that. I’ve made my money, I’ve made my mark. If this is the last go of it, then fine. I want a family more than a career surrounded by this exclusivity and bullshit. It’s unfair and disgusting. You’re not going to control my entire life and you’re sure as fuck not going to control my daughter’s.”Harry got up from his chair, knowing that if he was put through anymore of that shit, it was going to be bad for Indie. The shit that he had had to endure already was bad for her - he didn’t want to make it worse. He heard the other boys get out of their seats as he walked out of the door. The girl at the reception desk was staring at him, appalled, because his pregnant stomach was on full display. He didn’t care.“You need to put that away. You can’t be running aroun-” she started.“Shut the fuck up,” Louis snapped, catching up to Harry and pulling him into a hug. Harry immediately let himself melt into Louis’ strong grip. “They’re not going to take her from us and they’re not going to take your career away.”Harry felt two other bodies engulf around him and he knew that it was Liam and Niall showing their love. All three of them kept saying words of kindness and comfort, but Harry wasn’t listening. He was too lost in his sobs and worries about the future of their family and what was going to happen.----Harry had pretty much isolated himself from Louis the rest of the entire day. He didn’t want to be around people and Louis thankfully understood that. It allowed him to do his own thinking and to even get his mind off the subject. He already knew his mind was already made up as far as what he was going to tell Simon, so that was thankfully something that he didn’t have to stress about.There was a soft knock on the bedroom door and Louis peeked his head in. “Hey, babe. How are you?”“I’m okay,” Harry responded, his voice weak from the crying and lack of use in the past couple hours.“I just wanted to tell you that we have a visitor and she wants to see you,” Louis told him with a warning voice. Harry felt the color fall out of his face. Louis walked into the room, shutting the door quietly behind him. “It’s your mum. I’m so sorry, H. I tried to tell her that you weren’t feeling well and tried to get her to leave, but she just wouldn’t have it.”Harry’s heart skipped a beat. His mother didn’t even know that she was going to be a grandmother. He hadn’t seen her for ages and he knew that she was dying to see him. It had only been a matter of time before she dropped in. Harry just wished that she would’ve just called and warned him.“What am I supposed to tell her? She hasn’t seen me in over six months and when she does, I’m halfway through a pregnancy,” Harry told him, beginning to panic. “Can this day be any worse? Like, really. I know I’m not supposed to say that, but it really can’t suck anymore than it already does.”Louis put a comforting arm around Harry, giving him a reassuring side hug. “Harry, it’s going to be okay. Sure, she’ll be confused, but she isn’t going to be angry or unaccepting of Indie. She’s going to be excited. What mother isn’t excited to become a grandmother to their child’s child?”Harry nodded, thinking that he had been out of tears, but apparently not. “You’re right. I’m just scared.”“I understand, babe. Come on. I’ll tell her with you,” Louis urged, standing up and holding his hand out to him.Harry took it and got off the bed. He knew that this moment was going to come sooner or later. He just wished that it wouldn’t have been on one of the worst days of his life. He started down the stairs, following Louis. He saw the back of his mum’s head as she sat on their couch, playing on her phone. It felt so refreshing to finally see her in person rather than over FaceTime and Skype. He missed her so much.“Anne, I’ve gotten him out of bed,” Louis announced with a joking tone.Anne turned around on the couch, a bright and excited expression on her face when she saw Harry. She immediately rose up to her feet and ran to Harry. “Harry, my boy! I’m so happy to see you. It’s been way too - what’s this?” Harry felt his nerves set in as his mother looked down at his stomach with a confused expression. Her arms were resting on his shoulders in their awkward hug. She looked up at him, very puzzled by what was happening. “Harry, what’s going on? Are you okay?”Harry nodded, feeling the tears well in his eyes again. “Yeah, I’m perfectly okay.”“Honey, what happened to your stomach? Do you have a tumor? Sweetie, you’re scaring me,” Anne pressed, obviously concerned that something was wrong with her beloved son.Harry looked behind her and saw Louis standing there with a smile on his face as he gave a slight nod, encouraging Harry to tell her and that it would be okay. “You’re going to be a grandma.”Her face twisted into a confused and taken aback expression. “What? What are you talking about?”“I’m pregnant, mum,” Harry blurted out, preparing himself for the worst even though he knew that his mother wasn’t going to give him any kind of wrath.“What? But...but how? Are you sure? Is this a joke?” Anne asked, very concerned.“We wouldn’t kid about something like this. Here - we have ultrasound photos,” Louis told her, grabbing her hand and leading the confused woman over to the couch. She took a seat and Louis grabbed one of the photos from his wallet, handing it to her. “That’s the most recent one.”Harry smiled, placing a hand softly onto his swollen belly. He didn’t know that Louis kept copies of the ultrasounds in his wallet. That was so sweet. He wondered if he kept a photo of Harry in there too. Anne was examining the picture and then looked back up, her now glassy eyes switching back and forth between Harry and Louis.“Sweetheart, this is amazing. But...how? Is this a surrogate or is this actual? Please, please explain. I’m so confused,” Anne asked, her voice gentle.Harry went over and took a seat on the couch cushion next to her. He looked at her and grabbed her hands gently in his. “I didn’t know that it was possible either. Louis and I...well, you know, in June and then a few weeks later, I went into the hospital to see why I wasn’t feeling so good. That’s when I found out. I have something called PMDS. It’s where I have functioning male genitalia and also a functioning uterus and fallopian tubes. It’s nothing that we could’ve known until, well, until this.”Tears started to stream down Anne’s cheeks and a smile spread wide across her face. She looked down at the ultrasound photo and then back up at Harry and Louis. “I can’t believe this. This is absolutely fantastic. I’m going to...I’m going to be a grandmother!”Harry couldn’t help but smile with her. He was so happy that someone other than the boys were excited for Indie’s arrival. All three of them grouped into a hug, crying tears of happiness rather than tears of sorrow. The feeling of being surrounded by two people that meant most to him - that was what Harry wanted. He didn’t care if he had money or fame anymore. He just wanted to be happy with his family and his closest friends. They were who mattered most in his life. It was a no brainer that he chose Indie and his family rather than suffering with a management that wouldn’t let him be truly happy.----
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Harry followed the rest of his band mates into the conference room. He had an expressionless face. He wasn't going to cry and carry on today because he knew what his decision was and he wasn't going to go back on it or regret it. He also didn't feel any anger or emotion - he was pretty even keel. That was surprising because what management had asked him to do was just infuriating and not their place in the slightest. Simon along with the rest of the management team that was in there yesterday - plus a new guy that Harry had never seen before - were seated in their same seats, watching each of the boys intently as they sat down. He had talked to the boys about what could potentially happen because he was going to keep Indie and they all were okay with it. They didn't want to lose another member and become a three person band, but they weren't about to side with management and make him abort his perfectly healthy baby girl just to maintain a reputation. Harry was seated at the head of the table rather than on the side where he was yesterday. The meeting was about him and he knew that he needed to be at the center of focus. Not only that, but he felt more in control being in the middle. Instead of having some insensitive member of management on his left, he had Louis. He had Niall and Liam on his right. He was surrounded by three people that meant most to him. "Welcome, boys. I really didn't expect to see you back this soon, but we all know that there's an issue lingering that needs to be taken care of," Simon greeted, his beady eyes landing on Harry. "So, before we cut to the chase, I have a few things that I would like to say and maybe help Harry feel confident in his decision."Harry had to stop himself from dropping his mouth open in disbelief that the twat thought that he was actually going to abort his baby. For him. Now Harry couldn't wait to burst his bubble and make him feel like a complete dick. He doubted that Simon would have any remorse, but he could remember it that way to make him feel better. "This is Dr. Andrew Fields. He's a well renowned OB-GYN and also one of the best abortionists this side of the United Kingdom. I wasn't lying to you, Harry, when I said that we would get the best of the best to perform this. Take it away, doctor," Simon introduced. Harry should've known he would do something like this."Hello, Harry. Big fan of your music. It's lovely to meet you," Dr. Fields said. He was a friendly guy. "I know that this may sound scary - abortion is a very loaded word with a lot of negative stigma. You've most likely heard that abortions damage your goods and such when performed, but that's not the case - specifically if you go to me. All of the women that I've performed on haven't had any trouble bearing children or during their monthly cycles post-op. Now, Simon tells me that you're also going to be getting a procedure to remove your uterus. A hysterectomy also is a very simple procedure that is something that I've done millions of times. If you're worried of anything going wrong during either procedure, don't. Everything will turn out okay. And don't worry about this being leaked to the media or the public. Every high profile procedure that we do stays completely confidential. Your information is safe with us. Any questions?" "No," Harry said simply. "Harry's one that likes to do his homework," Simon smiled at Dr. Fields. His eyes drifted back over to Harry, expecting to hear a completely different response than what he was going to get. "Being that we want to get this issue taken care of as soon as possible, you'll be going under the knife in three days - so on Saturday. And then the hysterectomy will be scheduled for Tuesday, just to give your body a chance to recuperate a little bit. How does that sound?" "No," Harry repeated, keeping a stone cold expression on his face."No? What? Why are you saying no? Do you have plans on those days? We can certainly reschedule, but we need to do it quickly," Simon asked, not getting the hint. "No, I'm not busy either of those days. But I'm saying no as in I'm not doing it," Harry replied flatly."Excuse me? Harry, I was nice enough to give you a day to mill about it so the choice was yours. I thought better of you. You aren't going to have a career without Syco. We'll make sure of that. Your choices have consequences, Harry, and this one is going to have big ones," Simon scolded angrily. "You can't thre-" Liam started to defend."What you don't understand is that I'm okay with that. If my decision to start a family ends my career in music, I guess that's fine. I've been in this five years and I've made enough money to last on for a long time," Harry said calmly. "Your words and threats don't affect me, Simon."Simon's face was red from the anger and frustration that he was experiencing. Harry didn't care though. It had been his ultimate dream to make his point to Simon since he had been first told that he couldn't love the love of his life back in 2010 and now he finally got his satisfaction - with the love of his life by his side and the product of their love in his womb.Harry got up from the table, everyone in the room staring at him. "You can contact me later for details on being kicked out of the band. Have a good day." Harry left the room then, not wanting to talk about taking his baby away from him anymore. He thought that he would be sad to be fired from One Direction, but the truth was that he wasn't. He was actually fine with it. Sure, he was bummed that he wouldn't get to be on stage with his three best friends, but he was relieved that he wouldn't have to deal with being told how to breathe and how to dress from management. Most of all, he didn't have to be told who he could love. That was the most satisfying part to everything. He was tempted to compose an Instagram post and come out to the entire world, although, he knew that would get Louis in trouble and he didn't want that. "What the hell was that?" Louis asked, rushing to Harry and grabbing him in a tight hug."It was them telling me how to live my life and in response, I told them no," Harry said, his voice muffled by Louis' shoulder. "I can't believe that you did that," Niall commented. "We're gonna miss you, buddy.""I'm not going anywhere. Just because I'm not in the band anymore doesn't mean that we can't hang out with one another," Harry chuckled. "It's just going to be hard to go on tour and not have you with us," Liam said. "I'll go with you. Maybe not via the tour bus or anything, but I'll still follow you all. Both Indie and I will. We have nothing better to do with our time," Harry chuckled. "Besides, we're on an indefinite hiatus. We don't have to worry about tours for a while." ---- "We have to tell your mum, Lou. We can't just leave her in the dark," Harry told him. "She knows that she's getting a fake grandbaby, but she's going to be over the moon that she's going to have an actual one." The two of them decided to go to a baby store and start picking things out for Indie's nursery. Harry had a lot of ideas for the room, but he was finding it hard to decide which one to go with. Thankfully, Louis was a sweet husband and was going with whatever Harry wanted. That was sweet of him, but at the same time, Harry was too indecisive due to the pregnancy hormones flowing throughout his body. "Um, well, that's the thing..." Louis trailed. "What do you mean?" Harry asked cautiously. "Management wouldn't allow me to tell her that it's a PR stunt. She thinks that I cheated on you and actually impregnated a woman," Louis rushed out. Harry stopped in his tracks, the cart squealing to a stop. "Are you fucking kidding me?" "Harry, lower your voice. We're in a baby store, for Christ's sake. There's innocent ears in here," Louis hissed. "I'm serious though. They wouldn't let me tell her as much as I want to. It isn't fair. She doesn't deserve to go through life thinking that she has a grandchild that isn't biologically hers. She wasn't happy about it either. She told me that I was irresponsible." "Louis, you dumb shit, she didn't say that because you supposedly impregnated a woman - she said that because she thinks that you cheated on me and were too dumb to wrap your dick!" Harry told him. "Okay, well, you have a good point, but I wouldn't say that we were responsible either," Louis combated. "You're right, but at the same time, we also didn't know that I could get pregnant," Harry defended. "True." The two of them continued through the aisles silently. Harry was trying to figure out a way to undo Louis' mess that he was forced to make. It really bothered him that they were forcing Louis to lie to his family about the damn pregnancy. What did it matter if they knew the truth or not? They weren't going to tell. They were trained by Modest! just as much as the band was. They wouldn't have spilled anything. "So, your plan is to keep it a secret from Johannah? What is she going to say when she sees you with two different babies?" Harry questioned. While it was hard to tell babies apart, it was still obvious when two were different. Especially since one would be a blonde and the other would have brunette hair. And if she changed their diapers, she would notice a slight change in genitals. "I haven't thought it through yet, okay? I don't even know if my family is ever going to physically see Freddie or not," Louis said, not wanting to talk about it. "Damn, they already picked out a name for it. Don't you think that she would be a little concerned off that then? If she never gets to see her grandson?" Harry asked. "Can we stop talking about it? I've had my share of Briana and management over the past 48 hours to last me a lifetime," Louis requested. "Yeah, yeah. I'm sorry, Lou. I'm just concerned," Harry told him. "I know you are. Don't worry or stress about that right now. It's not good for you and it's not good for Indie. Let's just worry about decorating her nursery and getting the house baby proofed," Louis said, a soft smile displayed on his thin lips. ----
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
"This room is absolutely adorable, Harry. Indie's going to be spoiled," Anne chuckled. "Jeez, what gives you that idea? The fact that this bozo dropped over five thousand pounds on it? That couldn't possibly be it," Gemma snarked as she walked back into the nursery, taking a sip out of her juice box. "Are you implying that you're jealous that I haven't spent five thousand pounds on you?" Harry chuckled. "I'm just messing with you, H. Although, if you want to, I'll give you a list," Gemma laughed. "I'm very excited that I get to be an aunt though. I thought for sure that I'd be the first to have kiddos." "Indie's going to love you. You're going to be that cool aunt that she's going to want to hang out with more than her own parents," Harry laughed. Anne and Gemma had been helping Harry and Louis get the nursery ready throughout the past week. The paint was finally finished and dry, so they were finally able to start moving in the furniture and getting it all ready for when little Indie came home from the hospital. Much to Harry's dismay, he wasn't able to move the heavy furniture, so he had to direct his mum and Gemma where he wanted it. "Where's Louis at anyway? Shouldn't his arse be here putting just as much effort in?" Gemma asked, opening the package that the curtains had come in. "Oh hush. Louis has put in a lot of effort since we patched things up. He's certainly made up for missing the first however many months of the pregnancy," Harry told them. "Anyway, one of his Doncaster friends flew in from the states today and invited him out, so I figured that he could go." "I didn't know that Stan was in the states," Anne pointed out. "He isn't. Stan's still in Doncaster. I'm not sure who this one is. I don't think that we've ever met," Harry responded. Gemma quit fumbling with the package. "Harry, are you sure that it's one of his Doncaster friends? I feel like he would've mentioned to you who it was." "What are you getting at, Gemma? Louis wouldn't cheat on me," Harry scoffed. "Harry, he did. He got another girl pregnant for Christ's sake!" Gemma exasperated. Harry rolled his eyes, forgetting that he hadn't told them that Louis' other child was a whole stunt. "No, he didn't. He didn't impregnate that woman. It's all a PR stunt. They have a name picked out for it and everything." Gemma's tense shoulders dropped. "Are you sure?" "Yes, I'm more than sure. I've had this conversation a million times with him and Niall and Liam. Louis didn't even like her. He said that she was annoying," Harry commented. "And you're right," Louis' voice rang. Harry turned around, his face brightening as he saw his beloved boyfriend. "You're home!" "I am. The nursery looks gorgeous, Haz," Louis commented as looked around the room. "You told them?" "Yeah. I'm not in the band anymore, remember? I don't owe that management anything," Harry sassed. "You don't owe them anything, but you also don't need to go and get yourself sued," Louis warned. "I'm not going to. I wasn't going to go on live stream and expose them. The fans would be dead if I did. I haven't live streamed since 1D Day and that was two years ago," Harry told him. "How was your day with your friend?" "Eh, it was alright," Louis shrugged. "Do you need help with anything?" "Yes! Harry keeps saying that the damn dresser isn't in the right place and I don't know what more he wants," Anne requested dramatically. "Only Harry would be that particular. Anne, why don't you take a moment to rest. I'll do the heavy moving," Louis told her, switching places with her once she got out of the way. "Where did you want it?" "Right in the nook next to the window. It would look built in that way," Harry instructed. The Styles family watched as Louis shimmied the dresser into the spot next to the window yet again. Seeing Louis put in the effort made the experience much more exciting than it already was. The man he loved most was finally there and they were both together, piecing all of the pieces of their little girl's room together. It was Harry's dream come true. "How's that look, love?" Louis asked, placing his hands on his hips, waiting for Harry's response. He took a few steps, inspecting Louis' work. It was most likely in the same spot that his mum had put it in one of the many times that she'd moved it, but there was something about it now that seemed perfect. Maybe it was just because Louis put it there. Was that the touch that it needed in order for it to look right? "That looks perfect," Harry smiled. "What's next?" Gemma asked. "I think we can start the crib," Harry stated, looking around the almost furnished room. "Harry and I can put it together and you guys can take a break. I'm assuming that you two have been working your arses off all day," Louis volunteered. Anne looked to Harry for approval, in which he just shrugged. He was surprised that Louis was so quick to want to spend some alone time with him. Well, he wasn't, but he was at the same time. "I could use a glass of water and a nap," Gemma blurted. "C'mon, mum. Let's leave the lovers alone." The two women walked out of the bedroom, leaving Louis and Harry to their devices. Harry went over to the box that held the crib while Louis looked around the room, admiring the work that they had done. "It looks wonderful. Indie is going to love it," Louis complimented. "I love the diaper changing table. That turned out really nice. What are we going to put there when she's older?" "Hm, I'm not sure. Maybe a little reading nook? We'll have to see when we get there," Harry responded. "And thank you. I'm glad you approve." "Of course I would, love. If anyone were to design this room, I'd want it to be you," Louis praised. "You're such a kiss arse," Harry chuckled. The two of them started to take the crib parts out of the box and worked together to lay out all the pieces. Harry had never been a fan of putting things together. It always fell apart on him, no matter what. He wasn't mechanically inclined, but he wasn't that incapable. They started to work to put it together, communicating through nonverbals. It was normal for them to do things like that quietly. But what really caught Harry off guard was the question that came out of Louis' mouth. "So, I know that this might seem a little soon to ask," Louis started, causing a bundle of nerves to form in Harry's stomach. He wasn't asking his hand in marriage again, was he? Harry didn't want to face that so soon again. "Louis..." Harry warned. "When do want to have our next kid?" Louis asked, not even acknowledging Harry's warning. "What?" Harry squeaked, not believing what he was hearing. "How long do you want to wait after Indie to have our next kid?" Louis repeated. Harry started laughing, mostly at how he had prepared himself for the worst when it was something that was really inevitable. "What the hell are you laughing at? I'm serious," Louis asked, confused. "Nothing, nothing. It's just the pregnancy brain," Harry covered. He didn't want to turn the innocent and lighthearted question into an argument or hurt feelings. It wasn't worth it. "Um, how long do you want to wait?" "I don't know. I know that my mum waited seven years before she had Lottie, but that was because we had different fathers, so that's not really a good example. With Lottie and Fizzy, there's only a two year age difference. Same with you and Gemma, right?" Louis sounded out. "It's a four year difference between us," Harry corrected. "I'm going to admit though - I don't think I want to wait very long between." Louis cracked a smile at that. Harry expected him to then tell him about how parenthood was different than what the movies make it out to be, but that wasn't the case. "I figured you'd say that and I'm glad that you did. I don't want to wait that long either. I want them to be relatively close in age so they can be close to one another." Harry smiled. He didn't think that he'd be having this conversation so soon in his life, let alone already when they haven't even had their first child yet. "I agree. Plus, I really love being pregnant. There's something about knowing that you're creating a life because of a beautiful connection so beautiful that makes it feel so much more special." Louis reached across the crib parts, grabbing Harry's hand in his, a warm and genuine smile spreading across his features. "I love you so much, Harry. I'm so happy that we've started our family together." "Me too. Even if we wouldn't have found ourselves back together, I'm glad that we made a product of our love," Harry told him. Maybe it was just the overwhelming feeling of love that he was feeling for Louis talking. All he knew was that he had never felt so grateful for his relationship and love with someone before in his life. He leaned forward into Louis, giving him a sweet kiss, their lips moving together so perfectly. When they broke apart, they had their foreheads leaning together. "I want to become pregnant again as soon as the doctor says it's okay." ---- It took them a little over forty-five minutes to build the crib, not including the time that they had taken to talk about baby numero duex. The room looked so much better with furniture in it. Harry was so giddy to finally start putting other things into it so it would really feel like a haven for his sweet girl. The two of them walked downstairs to the living room where Anne and Gemma were sat, both holding onto a glass of red wine as they chatted. They were identical, Harry swore it. Both of them were cat-obsessed wine mums, even if Gemma hadn't had a kid. "Did you read the instructions or were they all in a foreign language?" Anne joked. "No, we got it figured out. We got a little distracted with talking to each other," Harry admitted. "Mum's a grown woman - she can handle the word sex," Gemma teased, taking a sip of her wine. "Gem, I wouldn't dare scar my daughter with having to see her father's penis, let alone being poked with it. Sex while pregnant just...it's frightening," Harry told her matter-of-factly. "Well, your father and I -" Anne started. "Mum!" Gemma and Harry both shouted. "Harry and I wanted to announce that we're going to have baby number two as soon as he's able," Louis blurted, changing the subject completely. Harry felt his cheeks redden. "You haven't even shit out the first one and you're already planning to have another?" Gemma asked. "You wouldn't understand since you're not a mother," Harry teased, sticking out his tongue. "Boys, you don't even know what parenting is like yet. Why don't you wait until you get a good taste and then make that decision? Having a newborn is a lot of work for first time parents. Not only that, but you won't have the time to make another for a while yet and I am not babysitting while you two do so," Anne told them. "Mum, you know I love kids and I love being pregnant. I'm amazing with babies. I spent a lot of time with Lux when she was born. It can't be much different," Harry protested, the conversation feeling like he was asking his mum permission for a new PS4 game. "We want them to be close in age so they're able to have a close relationship," Louis added. "I'm not going to change your boys' minds, am I?" she asked, earning two shakes of the head from Louis and Harry. "I just want you two to keep in mind that one kid is hard work and it's harder with two." "Can we stop talking about babies and go for dinner now? I'm absolutely starving," Gemma requested. "We good go to that new steakhouse that opened if you'd like," Louis asked. ----
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
The four of them were seated in a private booth at the steakhouse. Harry was a little weary because it was his first time going out without something that was completely masking his pregnant belly. Nobody stared at him, which was odd, but he figured it was because the lighting in the establishment was more candlelit. He knew that he shouldn't, but he felt self-conscious about it. He'd get used to it. He was going to be a dad - or mum? Either way, he was going to be a parent and he shouldn't be ashamed to show off his unborn baby girl. "Everything okay, H?" Louis whispered, grabbing his hand beneath the table. "Yeah, just a little nervous," Harry responded. Louis gave him an odd look. "I'm not hiding Indie." "You look just as gorgeous as you always do, love. If not more," Louis smiled, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze. Harry looked at the menu, the dull chatter between Gemma and his mum the only sounds at the table. Harry was wondering why they had such a large booth. There was enough room to add Liam and Niall if they wanted, but Harry wasn't going to mention it. The hostess was the one that seated them, so it wasn't in any of their control. Just as Harry decided on getting a sirloin, the waiter came over to take their drink orders. "Welcome. Can I get you all something to drink? Perhaps a glass of our finest Merlot?" "I'll just have ice water for right now, thank you," Harry told him immediately. Just at the mere mention of wine, his mouth started watering. It had been so long since he'd had a glass, he was starting to miss it. Louis ordered water so Harry wasn't alone while Gemma and Anne ordered the wine. He could admire it from afar. He did think that it was a little weird that he was craving wine though, being it was something that he couldn't have. Pregnancy was weird. Anne started asking questions about Indie and his pregnancy, which Harry was more than delighted to answer and talk about. He had never talked about his pregnancy with anyone other than Louis, so it was nice to brag about it to someone else, especially his mum. Though it became awkward when Johannah and Dan Deakin showed up at their table. Immediately, Harry felt embarrassed. He knew that neither of them knew that Harry and Louis were expecting a child and there wasn't very much he could do to hide it. Louis, who was sitting on the outer edge of the large booth, slid out and gave his mum a hug and kiss. "It's so lovely to see you two again!" Anne cheered. "It's been way too long." "Yes, it has! I've missed your darling face!" Jay responded. "I'm glad that Louis invited us. We were in the city to visit Lottie, so I'm glad that we got the call. Hello, H! How are you, sweetie?" "I'm doing well, Jay. It's good to see you both as well," Harry replied, biting his tongue so hard that he was sure that he would be drawing blood. "Dan, you look very smashing in that pewter blue suit jacket." "Jay has been trying to get me to branch out, so you can thank her," Dan chuckled. "It's good to see you, son. I hope Louis has been treating you well." "He has for the most part. Sometimes, I want to strangle him, but never follow through," Harry responded, saying it like it was a joke, but it wasn't. He was not happy with Louis, knowing that he had invited his mum and stepdad to the dinner without at least a warning. Jay and Dan scootched into the booth next to Anne, leaving Louis and Harry across the table, which gave them some privacy to have a quick chat. Harry brought his menu up, pretending to look at it so nobody would be able to hear them. "Louis, what the hell?" Harry asked, trying to not sound mad when he was, in fact, getting more and more pissed as the seconds ticked by. "I know you're angry, but I figured that tonight was the best night to tell them. Your mum and sister are here, so they'll at least be able to comfort my mum," Louis dropped. "You were planning on telling them and you didn't think that it was beneficial at all to at least mention it in passing to me?!" Harry hissed. He thought that this was a last minute thing, but it seemed to be premeditated. "Harry, just breathe. They'll be fine. Everything will be fine," Louis reassured. "I'll tell them. You don't have to do anything except look beautiful." "It's hard to sit and look pretty when I'm fighting every urge to kick your arse," Harry snapped. "I know, I know. You can punish me when we get home," Louis told him and then realized what he said. "If you want to be the one in control of daddy tonight, that is." "Shut up, you dillhole," Harry insulted. He was not in the mood for foreplay or any of that horse shit. ---- They had gotten through their meal without any questions or statements having to do with pregnancy coming out, much to Harry's pleasure. He knew that that was going to be short-lived. Louis was a fan of just coming up with shit on a whim it seemed. "So, Harry, Louis told me about management kicking you out of the band," Jay asked, taking a bite of her vegetables. Here goes nothing. "Yeah, they did. I thought it was really shitty, if I do say so myself," Harry responded, not wanting to give out too much detail. He didn't know what Louis told her and, as much as he was pissed at him, he didn't want to get Louis into an argument with her. "Did they tell you why or have they kept their mouths shut?" Dan asked. Harry shook his head. He could come up with some kind of bullshit for this. "No, not really. They just said that my attitude didn't fit the One Direction narrative anymore, which I find to be complete bullocks. Not to sound conceited, but I feel like the fans responded to me more during this tour than they have any other tour we've done. I just was myself, in all honesty. Well, I was myself as much as I could be anyway." "That's horrible," Jay responded. "I told Louis that he and the other boys should just end their contracts as well. Leave those monsters starving. You all could easily sign elsewhere, whether it be as a band or as solo acts." "Yeah, I'm sure you're right. I've been thinking about signing solo with another label, but I wanted to take a little bit and just focus on -" Harry stopped, catching himself before revealing himself. "Just focus on myself and Louis. As annoying as this business has been, I'm not ready to be finished with it yet. I know that I have a lot left in me to share with the world, but I'm just going to take some time first." "You also didn't graduate," Gemma piped in. "You always have to remind me of that, don't you?" Harry chuckled. "I'm your big sister - it's my job to rub my successes in your face," Gemma laughed. "I think that's a good idea, Harry. You've all been on the go since 2010 - 2011. It's a break that you deserve," Jay responded. "Although, I am excited to hear solo music when you come out with it." "Me as well. Hopefully, I'm not complete shit when it comes to penning my own songs all by myself," Harry laughed. "Oh, shut up. I've read your song notebook. You're amazing. A true poet," Louis exclaimed. "Thank you, but when did you read my notebook?" Harry questioned, just joking. Louis was literally the only one that was permitted to read that notebook. They all went silent for a few moments, eating and picking at their plates. At least, until Louis decided to speak up. Again, without any warning whatsoever. "So, the main reason that I invited you and Dan to dinner, mum, was because Harry and I have an announcement to make," Louis started. Harry almost started choking on his steak. He wasn't ready for this. The looks on Dan and Jay's faces were so bright and filled with excitement. Harry didn't want those expressions to disappear with the next words that were going to come out of Louis' mouth. However, that was when Louis got up out of the booth. Harry looked at him, wondering what in hell he was doing. He was actually afraid of what was about to happen, especially when the lad took a small box out of his pocket and lowered to one knee. It was so cliche, but Harry's heart still stopped beating. "Harry, I know that it hasn't been that long since I last proposed, but I just couldn't wait any longer. We had a really important conversation today while decorating and I know that we're already going to be together forever. It's been a rough go for the past few months, but we found ourselves back together again and I think that signifies just how powerful our love for each other is. I want to be there for you and Indie at all times. I don't want to call you boyfriend - I want to call you my fiance and then my husband. I want to be a good dad to our little baby and I want to keep having babies with you. You've been there by my side since we first met on the X-Factor. We've made so many memories together and we've had so many hardships, but we've gotten through it all together. I don't want to lose you. I'm not going to let Modest! separate us or put restrictions on our love, on our baby girl. I love you so much, Harry Styles. I want to be yours forever. Will you marry me?" Harry was speechless as he looked down at Louis' hopeful blue eyes. The realization that there were tears falling down his cheeks hit him. It was like he and Louis were the only two people in the room and Harry couldn't take his eyes off of him. That was how he knew that this time, the moment was right. The moment was perfect. "Yes, Louis," Harry muttered, pretty sure that it was inaudible, so he said it again. "Yes, yes, yes! I will marry you, Louis!" Without any cares in the world, Harry got out of the booth and collapsed into the now standing Louis. They joined lips in a passionate kiss and it felt like it did the very first time; sparks were fireworks and he didn't want that moment to end. It was amazing how Harry just knew that he was ready to fully commit himself to Louis. He didn't even actively think about it since then and when he would be ready. It just happened. "I can't believe it! Our babies are getting married!" Jay exclaimed, bringing Harry back down from Cloud 9. The two of them broke apart and looked at their families: Anne and Jay were crying, Gemma and Dan had huge smiles on their faces. Harry looked at Louis, his cheeks beginning to hurt from how wide his grin was. He couldn't believe that Louis was his fiance and not just his boyfriend anymore. "Here - put the ring on. I tried to pick on out that you'd like. One that screamed Harry," Louis told him, opening the ring box and taking out the beautiful piece of jewelry. It was a small silver band with seven shining diamonds. Harry slipped it onto his left ring finger and took a moment to admire its beauty. It made all of his other rings "disappear" and that was the only one that Harry was paying attention to. He couldn't believe that he was wearing an engagement ring - especially one that was exactly what he would've wanted. Louis knew him so well. "It's so beautiful," Harry whispered, not taking his eyes off of it. The two of them sat back down in the booth again, the mood completely changed. It was much more happy and bright than it already was. He couldn't take the smile off his face, much like the rest of their families. He couldn't wait to tell his friends and Louis' sisters. He really just wanted to tell the entire world, but knew that that was something that was going to have to wait. "Now, I have a question for you two," Jay asked, her eyes still moist with tears. "When Louis was giving his speech, he mentioned a baby girl. Have you two gotten yourselves a surrogate?" Louis shook his head enthusiastically. "No, mum. We didn't need a surrogate." "What do you mean by that, sweetheart?" Jay asked, her smile not fading. "Harry's already pregnant," Louis told her. Jay's initial reaction was shocked, much like everyone's was when they were first told that a male was pregnant. However, after the two of them explained what it was and why it came about, her and Dan were both still extremely happy. In fact, they were thankful that they would get an actual grandchild rather than the beard baby that Modest! was forcing them into getting. Harry just sat back against the booth, playing with the beautiful ring around his wedding finger. It turned out to be one of the best days of his life and he was still in awe that it was happening. His family was starting to come together and he couldn't wait for what the future held. ----
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
28 Weeks Pregnant
Harry was rubbing his stomach with lotion as he sang a song that he had made up. He found himself constantly singing, just so his daughter would know his voice. Whenever Indie was super active, Harry would hum or sing to her and it would calm her down. He liked that he already knew what might be the thing that would make her stop crying when she was born. It was getting so close. He was getting so anxious. His and Louis' wedding was inching closer too. Granted, it wasn't for a while yet, but Harry wanted everything to be planned perfectly and thought out so it would go smoothly when the time came. Another thing that he was unsure of is if he'd be pregnant when they got married. His goal was not to be because he didn't want to expose his pregnant abilities to the rest of his family. They didn't have a specific date yet because of that. "Look at you being a cute little mum," Louis said, walking into the house. Harry looked up at him and smiled ."My tum gets dry and Indie was active, so I was singing to her. How'd your meeting go?" "Shit as per usual," Louis scoffed. "I found out when I have to go out to L.A." "You can stay in my house out there. I don't use it much anyway," Harry told him. "When do you have to go?" "She's scheduled to have her kid January 23rd, so I have to at least be in L.A. at least a few days before," Louis said. Hearing the due date for the PR baby made Harry uneasy. "How long do you have to be out there, Louis? I'm due January 30th." "I know, love. I plan on being here for the birth of our baby girl. I'll take whatever fines and bullshit that management wants to throw on me. I'm not going to miss the birth of my actual child," Louis reassured. "They're going to make you stay because they're going to want to make you look like a good dad - which you will be to Indie - but they don't give a shit that I'm pregnant. They made that very clear," Harry panicked. Louis rushed over to Harry, dropping down to his level as he massaged his back. "Harry, calm down. I will be here for Indie's arrival. Come hell or high water, I will be here. Trust me, Harry. I'm not going to let them take that away from me." Harry felt somewhat better about the situation, but he was still weary about it all. It was all too close together and his anxiety was high. This was his first - and unexpected - birth. He wanted the father of his baby to be there to witness it. He didn't want these bitter old men to force him to sit in a hospital, waiting for the birth of a baby that wasn't his or one that he frankly wouldn't ever have to care about. "I got you some groceries. Waffles and brie cheese just like you asked for," Louis told him. "Thank you," Harry smiled and then it faltered. "I wish I could go to the grocery store." Louis looked at him with sympathetic eyes. "You can, you just have to wear something extremely baggy." "And then they'll put me in the tabloids for being fat. It's either be the headline of being pregnant or being fat. I don't want either," Harry sniffled. He was so sensitive. "Love, the media doesn't matter. It's all bullshit and you know that," Louis reminded. "They'll just assume shit, Lou! I can't even defend myself. I can't even leave my damn house because of this. I wish you didn't have to be fat when you're pregnant," Harry cried. Louis wrapped his arms around him in a hug. "You're not fat, H. You're beautiful. You look even more beautiful pregnant. If you want to get out of the house, you can. I'll help you." Harry shook his head. "God, I just sound like a whiny baby." "It's okay, love. It's just the pregnancy," Louis reassured, rubbing his back soothingly. "Do you want me to give you a shower?" Harry nodded his head, suddenly craving the feeling and care he got when Louis showered him. He was so gentle, so loving. The only times that Louis ever offered to do such things was when Harry was extremely upset or sad about something. It was a lot different than when they showered together in a sexual setting. After both of them undressed, they got into the shower. Harry felt so self-conscious being naked with a bulged out stomach, especially when he was next to his fit fiance. The rational part of him knew that Louis didn't think any differently of him because of his size and knew Louis would love him if he were obese anyway. But the part of him that was going through the hormones was so scared that Louis was thinking about how ugly he was with the faint stretch marks he had and the fact that his tattoos looked warped. He used to be comfortable being naked, but now he was completely against it. When he got into the shower, he turned so he wasn't facing Louis because of his anxieties. He shut his eyes as the warm water cascaded over him and Louis hands started to massage his shoulders. Harry couldn't help but let his neck fall back at the relaxing sensation. It had felt like ages since his back was in order. Well, it had been. Ever since he found out about his pregnancy was when he stopped having his back adjusted. Louis' hands gently - but firmly - started to move their way down to the small of Harry's back. Louis wasn't giving a full out massage, but rather was just pressing his fingers into Harry's skin. As his hands worked their magic, Harry's breath caught in his throat, which caused for a slight moan to escape his throat. A feeling of need washed over Harry then, his body suddenly becoming hot and bothered. It took him a minute to recollect what the experience was but then realized what was happening when he felt his member twitching against his thigh. Without a second thought, Harry whipped around and crashed his lips against a surprised Louis. Part of him was telling him to stop, but the other half of him couldn't physically stop. He needed Louis. Louis broke apart from him, looking at him with lust-filled eyes. "Are you sure?" Harry responded by dropping to his knees and wrapping his lips around the head of Louis' cock. He couldn't believe that he was going to have sex with Louis after denying him for so long because he feared that Indie would be bothered by it. Though, he didn't care. His self-consciousness about his stomach completely left him and was taken over by lust. He had never been that desperate for Louis before, so he figured that his frustration was to its boiling point and the massage brought it to a head. Harry was pumping Louis' cock while also bobbing his head back and forth, swirling his tongue over the slit every so often. He knew that it was driving Louis mad due to the heavy breathing and moans occurring above him. His hands tangled into Harry's long hair, tugging it just hard enough to make Harry cum almost then and there. "Bed," Harry panted, popping off of Louis' cock. The two of them got out of the shower, both of their bodies dripping with water. Louis hoisted Harry up and Harry wrapped his legs around Louis' waist. They stumbled into the bedroom, Louis being careful with Harry because of the precious cargo between them. Louis laid him down on the bed genty, their lips never breaking as he hovered over the top of him. Harry's hands were going mad and was sure that he was leaving crescent marks from his nails in Louis' back. Louis broke away. "Are you positive? I don't want to force you into it." "Fuck, Lou. Quit asking questions and just ravish me," Harry demanded, not meaning to sound as desperate and harsh as he had come across. Louis chuckled and began kissing down Harry's bare torso, his lips tickling the surface of Harry's skin. It was weird when he had stopped as soon as he got to Harry's protruded baby bump, but he knew why and immediately pushed the thought of being pregnant out of his head. Soon enough, Louis' tongue was teasing Harry's entrance, causing for long and deep moans to escape Harry. That was definitely a feeling that Harry had missed in his time of abstinence. Harry was writhing on the bed, not used to the high levels of pleasure that was flowing through his veins. Louis was being gentle with him, as he usually was. Harry was aching for him. He didn't realize just how sexually deprived he was. He knew that he was going to cum in no time since it had been so long since he'd had sex, but he knew that Louis didn't mind nor did Harry himself. He just wanted his craving to be fulfilled and he knew that Louis just wanted to be intimate with him, even if it was just for a short time. "God dammit, fuck me," Harry panted, practically begging his dominant fiance. The cold air hit Harry's hole, causing a shiver to run up his spine. The warmth was regained when pressure was put on his entrance before it was penetrated. Harry let out a breathless yelp at the sensation. It didn't hurt, but he definitely didn't feel as though he was stretched enough, even if Louis had worked on him for a good bit. "You okay, baby?" Louis asked, his voice low and husky. Harry nodded with a squeak. "Just fuck me." He felt Louis push into him further, but was slow about it. As much as Harry loved when Louis was slow and intimate with him, he wanted it fast, rough, and if it called for it - messy. Not being able to find the words, Harry made gestures to Louis, encouraging to go faster. Louis did as per Harry's request, pumping in and out of him in a fast and sensational rhythm. Harry felt his loins tightening the more Louis fucked him. "Cumming!" was all that Harry could get out before his dick began spurting the thick white liquid all over the both of their naked bodies. Louis pumped a few more times before letting out a hearty moan and Harry felt him filling him up. Louis slowed down significantly, letting all of his cum empty out. He pulled out and collapsed next to Harry on the bed, the two of them panting like they had just run a marathon. "I'm sorry," Harry breathed. "For what?" Louis responded, just as breathless. "For cumming so quickly," Harry continued. "Love, I'm just grateful that we could be intimate again. I don't care if it lasts five minutes or three hours. As long as I'm with you, it's just as satisfying and beautiful," Louis told him, sweeping a strand of hair off of Harry's sweaty forehead. Harry couldn't help but smile. "I love you so much." "I love you more than that," Louis told him, propping himself up and leaning his head in so their lips could meet. "Let me clean you up." Louis got out of the bed and waltzed into the bathroom, Harry not being able to take his eyes off of his voluptuous bum. He came back with a wet washcloth and crawled over Harry, straddling his legs as he softly whisked the cloth over Harry's torso, wiping off the liquids. He then took to himself, wiping his abdomen off. "Let me just say that I haven't seen you cum that hard since our first time together," Louis smirked. "I didn't think I made you that frustrated." Harry felt his cheeks heat up. "It's the hormones." "Sure it is, love," Louis chuckled. "Don't get used to it. The next time we fuck will be after Indie's born. She's been traumatized enough," Harry warned. "Hm, I suppose I could wait. I mean, you're talking to the one that was willing to go a complete nine months without sex, so I think you're the one that's going to need to have some self control," Louis taunted. Again, Harry's cheeks heated. He wasn't embarrassed so much as he was guilty for it. Though he didn't care. Despite him feeling fat and disgusting without his clothes on, Harry felt beautiful after that. The one person that mattered most to him still thought he was beautiful and still loved him and still wanted to have sex with him. Harry couldn't ask for anymore than that. ----
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
There was only about a month left of his pregnancy, but Harry was more than anxious to give birth. He could see the finish line and just waiting to get there was what was getting him hot and bothered. As much as he was happy carrying a child, he couldn't wait to have his body back to normal. He knew that it wouldn't be what it once was, but at least he wouldn't have to hide his stomach underneath oversized sweaters and t-shirts. That was another thing that he was looking forward to getting back to - being able to have his style back. In the meantime, Louis had planned for them to have a date night. Ever since Harry had given into his raging hormones and they had sex, the two of them had been significantly closer and it was like they were going through their honeymoon phase again. "Are you almost ready, love?" Louis asked, straightening out his suit jacket in the mirror. "Um, kind of? I'm not sure if this is too revealing. I wish you'd tell me where we were going," Harry said, nervous with the flowy and loose shirt that he had picked out. He really only picked it because he'd been getting really hot lately and it was the only fabric that seemed to not bother him too much. "It wouldn't be a surprise then, would it?" Louis teased. "I'm sure you look wonderful. Where we're going, your looks and clothing doesn't matter. It's a judgment free zone." "Louis, I'm not going to a gay club with drag queens. I'm carrying a child, for God's sake," Harry declared. "Darling, I'm not going to take you to a bar. Jesus, do I look like that big of an idiot?" Louis continued. "Just trust me, H. You'll absolutely adore where we're going." Harry sighed and decided to stay with what he chose. Louis wasn't going to tell him that he looked horrible - he was too sweet for that and didn't want Harry to be self-conscious. He stepped out of their walk-in closet, Louis turning towards him, his mouth falling the slightest bit open. "I told you that you look stunning," Louis flattered, flashing him a smile. "Are you sure that it's not too revealing? I mean, I'm going to put my coat on over it. I can only hide it so much, I guess," Harry continued. "You're not going to need a coat, babe. It's nice out today," Louis told him. "Louis, it's the middle of winter and it was just snowing this morning," Harry deadpanned. "And it's warmed up since," Louis defended. Harry rolled his eyes, grabbing the coat from the hook on the back of the door nonetheless. He didn't want to suffer with the cold temperatures. If that's what Louis wanted, then that's what Louis got. "Are you ready to go?" Louis asked. "Yeah, I think so," Harry agreed. Louis grabbed Harry's hand and the two of them walked out of the bedroom. They exited into the garage, but Louis didn't have either of the keys for the cars, which puzzled Harry. At least, until he was led to the door that led them down to the basement. "What are you doing?" Harry asked. "Going on date night," Louis responded simply. They walked the stairs, still holding hands. Harry should've picked up on Louis' hints that their date night was going to take place at home. Even if he hadn't hinted, Harry should've known that's what Louis would've done because he knew that Harry wasn't particular on going out in public while pregnant. When they got to the door that would lead them into the basement, Liam was stood in a suit, looking like a butler. Harry couldn't help but stifle a laugh at how serious and into the role the man looked. "Welcome to Liam's Amazing Eatery. Right this way to your table," Liam greeted, impressing Harry with not laughing when introducing the "restaurant." Louis and Harry followed Liam as he opened the door to their basement. Harry's eyes widened when he saw how decorated the basement was. While it was normally decorated by Harry to his tastes, Louis had given it a romantic atmosphere, specifically making it look like one of those lounge restaurants. He was thoroughly impressed. Liam led them to their medium dining table that they had down there, a single candle flickering in the middle of it. The two sat down and Liam laid down a menu pasted on black cardstock paper in front of each of them. Harry was impressed with the amount of work that Louis had put into it - including the music from Louis' favorite playlist coming out of their Alexa speaker. "My name is Liam and I'll be waiting on you both tonight. Could I start you two off with a beverage? Perhaps, you'd like some of our finest champagne," Liam offered, but then gave a smile to Harry before whispering to him. "Don't worry, it's just sparkling apple cider." "We'll take two of those," Louis smiled. "Yo, Niall - two of the apple ciders," Liam yelled to their bar that hadn't been used that much since they'd moved into the house. "Those will be just a few minutes." Niall's blonde head popped up from behind the bar, grabbing two champagne flutes off of the counter behind him. Harry looked down at the menu, seeing that he only had two options: The Louis Special or Pizza. He couldn't help but crack a smile at that because he knew it was the only dish that Louis knew how to make and he'd always make it perfect for Harry. The reason that the other option was pizza was just in case it didn't pan out like he had planned. It was cute and Harry appreciated it. "Here are your flutes," Liam said, placing the champagne flutes down in front of each of them. "Are we ready to order?" "I'm ready if you are, love," Louis said, looking at Harry with his mesmerizing sea blue eyes. Harry nodded. "I'll take The Louis Special, please." "I'll have the same," Louis ordered, grabbing Harry's menu from him to hand to Liam. "Marvelous. I'll get that in right away," Liam said, grabbing the menus and disappearing. "You devil, when did you put this together?" Harry asked, a smile dancing across his face. "Put what together?" Louis joked. "I've been working at it all week. Do you like it?" "This is the sweetest thing that you've ever done for me. I love it," Harry told him. "I'm glad. I know you wanted to go out, but I knew that you were nervous to be in public, so I thought it'd be best if we could bring the likes of a restaurant to the comfort of home," Louis explained to him. "That and it's closer to the bedroom." Harry rolled his eyes. "You can hold out two more months." "I know, I'm only joking," Louis chuckled. "The real question is - can you?" "Yes, I can. Mainly because I feel too fat to move," Harry chuckled. "I couldn't imagine doing something that strenuous." "I figured you wouldn't want to, which is why I've planned something for after dinner as well," Louis told him. "You've been a busy little bee, haven't you?" Harry mused. "I had to make it perfect for my prince," Louis said with a heartfelt smile. "You've succeeded," Harry responded, feeling overwhelmed with gratefulness. He couldn't have asked for someone as amazing as Louis. --- Harry's head was lying on Louis' lap as they watched some movie on Netflix. Louis' fingers were twisty a lock of Harry's long curls, which was soothing him. The night had been going more than perfect. The dinner that Louis had prepared - chicken stuffed with mozzarella, wrapped with parma ham with a side of homemade mash - was every bit as amazing as it usually was. It was Harry's favorite meal because it reminded him solely of his beautiful Louis. If they hadn't gotten back together, Harry was sure that he would've never eaten that meal ever again. Harry had eaten so much of it, his lower back was cramping. He figured that was because Indie liked the meal as well and she was just as full as Harry was. The cramps began to worsen slightly, causing for Harry to shift. He had never experienced menstrual cramps, but he assumed that the uncomfortable pulling in his lower regions was what they felt like. He also was slightly worried as to what was going on because he'd felt them on and off all day. Though when he went to the bathroom to check if something was wrong down there, he didn't find anything out of the ordinary, so he wasn't miscarrying thankfully. Louis looked at him as he continuously shifted, not being able to hack the discomfort like he had been. "What's wrong, love?" "I've been having these cramps in my lower back all day," Harry told him. "I don't think it's anything to worry about. Indie's just probably shifting around and she keeps resting on my spine or something." "Harry, Indie resting on your spine wouldn't cause cramps," Louis warned. "Is there something wrong?" "When I went to the bathroom earlier, there was no signs of a miscarriage or anything. I can even feel her kicking slightly," Harry explained. "I know that she's not..." "I'm not suggesting she is, my God. I think we'd know. I'll pause the movie and you go to the toilet and check, yeah? I just want both of you to be okay," Louis told him, genuine concern in his voice. Harry nodded and went to stand up. As soon as he did, he felt a massive rush of liquid run out of him and immediately patted the ass of his pants. A feeling of horror washed over Harry as he realized what the "cramps" were and what was about to happen. "Harry, what's wrong?" Louis asked. "Um, I think my water just broke," Harry stammered, not believing what was happening. "What?! I thought you had like a month yet?!" Louis responded, pre-parental panic settling over him. "I did too! Louis, we need to get to the hospital," Harry instructed, trying to swallow his fears. "I thought you wanted a home birth so we wouldn't risk the media -" Louis started, but was cut off. "I don't give a damn about the media. We're not set up to birthe here. We need to go now," Harry urged. Louis jumped up, turning the telly off. Liam and Niall came into the room from the bar area of the basement, looking at the two curiously. "What's going on?" Niall asked. "Harry's giving birth!" Louis panicked. "Call Anne, call my mum, and meet us at the hospital." Niall and Liam nodded, getting right to their duties. Harry and Louis rushed upstairs, Harry being helped into the passenger side of the Range Rover. "Don't move - I'll hurry and pack a bag, okay?" Louis told him before rushing into the house. Harry sat quietly for a few moments before the painful cramping feeling happened again. He didn't know why he was even having these contractions. It wasn't like he was going to give birth naturally. It was destined for him to have a C-section. He pushed the thoughts from his mind and remembered how the women in movies timed how far apart contractions were. He figured they were about two minutes apart and they got worse every time. Another one occurred and Harry couldn't keep his mouth shut anymore. "Louis, get the fuck out here!" Within a matter of seconds, Harry's request came true and Louis was stumbling out the door, a duffle in his hands. He threw it into the backseat and climbed into the driver's side, starting the engine. He didn't say anything and just drove, flashers on as they rushed down the road. It felt like it was taking forever, but it could be because the cramps were making it agonizing for Harry. He felt the beads of sweat rolling down his forehead and when he opened his eyes, he saw the emergency room doors of the hospital before him. He never thought that he'd be so grateful to see such a place. "Baby, just stay put. I'll run and get a wheelchair and a nurse, okay?" Louis explained to him. Harry just nodded, not being able to squeeze out any words. If he would've known that birthing hurt that bad, he wouldn't have gotten pregnant. Okay, he didn't intentionally try and he was grateful that he was going to be able to start a family, but nonetheless, it wasn't a pleasant feeling. Louis rushed out of the emergency room exit, a wheelchair in hand and a nurse in tow. He yanked the door open and helped Harry out and into the wheelchair that the nurse was holding still. "I'm giving birth. Not sure if he told you," Harry panted. "Yes, yes, he did. Your doctor has informed us that you were going to be coming in within the next month, so we're fully aware of what needs to happen," the nurse told him. "Do you know how far your contractions - or cramps - are apart?" "They were two minutes before we left the house, but now I would say they're a little over a minute or just a minute," he breathed. "Good, we'll order the C-section right away. Harry, I'm going to need you to breathe. It'll help with the pain and discomfort. I know that you might not think so, but it gives you something else to focus on," the nurse told him. The hallway felt like it was passing by him a godspeed - well, until a contraction hit and he yelled out. The nurse and Louis gave Harry comforting and encouraging words. Although, he wasn't feeling very comforted. He wanted the damn baby out of him so the pain could end. They finally got into a room and the nurse grabbed out a gown from the cupboard, setting it on the well made bed. "Would you like me to help you get undressed or are you able to do that on your own?" the nurse asked. "I think I can do it. I'll just have Louis help if I get another contraction," Harry told her, another sharp pain coming as though it was on cue. "Alright. I'll send the OB-GYN in as quick as possible and we'll get the C-section prepped. In the meantime, you keep track of those contractions/cramps, okay?" the nurse instructed. As soon as the nurse left, Harry started undressing as fast as he could so he could get in the bed so he could at least suffer in comfort. Louis was watching him like a hawk, ready to catch him if he were to suddenly go into contractions again. Thankfully, the next one happened when he was in the bed. "You okay?" Louis asked. "Not any different than the last time you asked me," Harry panted, trying to take deep breaths as he came down from the contraction. Within about ten long minutes, the OB-GYN came in, along with two other nurses. She looked just like the photo that his doctor had shown him. Harry had never been so overjoyed to see someone. He wanted that damn baby out of him. Indie was his little princess, but at that particular moment of pain, Harry wasn't overly lovey towards anyone. "Hello, Mr. Styles. So, someone tells me that we're going to be delivering a baby today," she greeted, a smile on her face. "The C-Section is getting all prepped and ready by my nurses over there. Before we begin, I'd like to tell you what's going to have to happen. Being that you're biologically a male, we're going to have no choice but to extract your baby. This means that we are going to have to cut you open above your male genitals. We aren't going to harm your tesitcles or anything like that. However, your tattoos that are in that area may end up just slightly damaged. Post-birth, you're not going to be able to lift anything above the weight of a stack of Harry Potter books. Also, no strenuous activities like touring or anything like that, although I know that your band just got done doing that. Also, I don't recommend overseas travel for at least two to three weeks, just to make sure everything is healing up well. That being said, are you ready get this baby delivered?" —— The process took about fifteen minutes. The sweet sound of a baby's cry was the loudest sound in the room. Harry was groggy and out of it from the drugs that he was given, but he was aware enough to know that that was his baby girl. He felt someone loosely squeeze his hand and he flopped his head over, Louis was next to him, wearing scrubs and a mask, but Harry could tell that he was smiling by he twinkle and tears in his eyes. "She's here, love," Louis told him, his voice shaking. Before Harry could ask if he could hold her, the curtain that was shielding Harry's eyes from what the doctors were doing was removed. When Harry looked down towards the doctors, not seeing any blood or anything. He couldn't feel anything under his waist, which he assumed was a good thing. "Harry, how would you like to hold your newborn baby girl?" the OB-GYN asked, holding a small little bundle of pink blanket. She handed her down to Harry after the nurse adjusted his bed. Harry grabbed the swaddled baby, falling in love instantly as soon as he looked into her gigantic sky blue eyes. She had Louis' beautiful eyes, which made her all that more beautiful. A smile spread across Harry's face as he caressed her soft cheek with his finger. Her tiny little eyes shut, a peaceful expression coming across her squishy little face. "She's beautiful," Louis whispered. Harry's eyes flicked over to Louis, who had a small tear in the corner of his eye. "Do you want to hold her, daddy?" Harry asked him. For the first time, he didn't mean "daddy" in a sexual sense and in Harry's opinion, this new meaning was a lot more fitting and beautiful. Harry handed her to Louis gently, in which he took her in his arms, automatically hugging her close to his heart. Harry watched as his beautiful fiancé interacted with their new baby girl. It was at that moment he knew that everything - including giving up One Direction - was worth having his new and beautiful little family. ——
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Harry had to stay at the hospital after the C-Section for four days. The only good part about it was that he got to sleep in the same room with Indie. Even Louis slept overnight on the little couch. The boys had wanted to stop over while they were at the hospital, but both Harry and Louis said no because it would not only draw attention from the paparazzi and media, but they also didn't want to lug a whole bunch of baby gifts home. Plus, Harry wanted to plan and have a special homecoming/welcome to the world party for his baby girl. He wanted to make it a big deal because, well, it was. It was the biggest deal of the year in Harry's opinion. He just wanted to show her off and brag to everyone. Louis came into the hospital room, clad in a hoodie and joggers with a smile plastered on his face. "The nurses are getting the discharge papers ready, so we can start getting packed up and ready to go. Also, I have surprise." "A surprise? I like surprises. Do share," Harry urged, wondering what in the world Louis had for him now. Louis pulled out a small baby onesie that had a picture of Louis and Harry on it from 2012 with #LarryIsReal underneath it - it had to be fan made. "It's from Gemma. I found it in the front seat of the car this morning." "That is the cutest thing that I've ever seen. I love our fans, I swear to God," Harry gushed getting up from the bed and grabbing the garment out of his hands. It was just the perfect size for Indie too. "I'm taking her home in it." "I figured you'd want to. That's why I brought it to show you," Louis chuckled. While Louis began to pack up their belongings into the duffle they had brought along, Harry went over to the little crib that the quiet and writhing Indie was lying in. Harry had never seen such a cute little bean in his life. Okay, he had been in the presence of several babies, but Indie was by far the cutest. Maybe he was biased. She was lying in the bed, a plain pink onesie that the hospital gave her loosely on her along with a little hat. Harry thought that she looked adorable, but he was ready to get her out of the plain and boring color that she had been continuously put in for the last four days. He already had the whole onesie changing deal down to a science - it was just finding out a way to change her diaper without her crying. He unsnapped the onesie down at the bottom and took her chubby little arms out of it, sliding her small self out of it along with taking off the hat. He quickly changed her diaper being that it had been a few hours since her last change and if she was wet, well, Harry didn't want her poor little bum cheeks to burn. The onesie fit perfectly - in fact, it was slightly loose so she'd be able to wear it for a little while why she grew. Harry put the little hat back on her, not wanting to freeze her because it was the middle of winter. He picked up his daughter, a bright smile on his face as he admired his cute little daughter that was just moving her legs around without a care in the world. "Look how cute this is! And you said the fans running with the whole Larry thing was bullshit," Harry scoffed, referring to the damage control Louis was forced into doing years back. "Aye, I only said that because Modest forced me to. Also, she's fu- very adorable," Louis smiled, blushing as he had almost cussed. "I think it's cute that you're trying not to cuss, but I'm pretty sure you'll slip up and her first word is going to either be shit or fuck," Harry laughed. "Me? How about you? You have the mouth of a sailor with a good fashion sense," Louis laughed. Harry set Indie back down into the crib just as the nurse walked into the room with the discharge paperwork. "Good morning, nurse." "Good morning. Such a cute little family," she smiled, admiring the three of them. "I have your discharge paperwork. Not too much, but you just need to sign the birth certificate and some other things." "Didn't we already sign the birth certificate?" Louis asked. "No, we just filled out Indie's paperwork for the hospital," Harry told him. He took the small stack of papers from the nurse. "You can just drop them off at the reception desk on your way out. She's so adorable - I'm so happy for you all," the nurse smiled as she turned and sauntered out of the room. Louis and Harry sat down on the made hospital bed and pulled the wheel table over, grabbing the pen off the surface. Harry signed all of his discharge paperwork before they got to the birth certificate. Once Harry finished everything else, he looked down at the birth certificate, completely and wholeheartedly filled with giddiness. He couldn't believe that he finally got the family that he had always wanted. He had a daughter and he was getting married. His life was finally beginning. "Are we still set on Indie Rose?" Harry asked. "Speak now or forever hold your peace." "I've loved the name ever since we came up with it," Louis agreed. "Besides, she looks like an Indie Rose." Harry wrote in Indie's name, jotting down Tomlinson as the last name since that was what it was going to be in just a short amount of time when Harry and Louis finally got hitched. Why go through the hassle of changing everything? Harry scribbled down his signature and then passed it off to Louis, who signed it quickly. Their signatures looked like they were just an autograph, but they certainly didn't feel like plain old autographs. They were the most priceless autographs that they've ever signed. "She's an official person," Harry said as he capped the pen. "Not yet. She doesn't have a National Insurance number card yet," Louis chimed in. "She's on the road to being an official human," Harry revised. ---- Harry knew that having a baby wasn't all unicorn and rainbows, but he didn't think that it would be the next coming of Hell. It had only been two days since they left the hospital and that was the last time that he and Louis got a solid night's sleep. Harry didn't have to take Indie to the doctor to know that she had colic. She would cry at least every two hours, give or take a few minutes. Louis and Harry were good at working together and took turns taking care of her, but both of them were starting to feel the exhaustion. They should've been used to it because of the past five years of touring, but this was a hell of a lot different. At least with tour they got to sleep through the night. However, despite being overly tired, Harry was surviving on tea and coffee while planning Indie's post-birth baby shower. He wasn't planning anything grandiose, but he also wasn't treating it as a plain old cookout. The party was going to be one of the best ones that Harry had ever thrown, just because it was his daughter's. "Don't you want to take a nap, love?" Louis asked, walking into the kitchen, Indie in his arms. "I can play with Indie and get dinner ready." "No, no, I'm okay," Harry said as he wrote down the guest list. "I know that you and Zayn haven't spoken in a while...should we invite him?" "I don't much care if he's here or not, but I suppose if you're friends with him yet, don't let me stop you," Louis shrugged. "Seriously, Haz. You need rest. It's no issue if I play dad for a while." "I'm fine, Louis. I've had a good amount of caffeine anyway, so I wouldn't be able sleep anyway," Harry brushed off. Louis had been practically begging Harry to rest and have one-on-one time with Indie, which Harry understood, but at the same time, Harry didn't want to let his baby girl go. He knew that it was just the attachment thing that the majority of birthers felt towards their newborns. While Louis hangs out with her in another room, it's never without Harry being close by, ready to come to the rescue at the first peep. "When are you planning the party for?" Louis asked. "So, Indie was born on the January thirteenth, it's the nineteenth...what about the twenty-first?" Harry suggested. "I think that's fine, but I need to be in L.A. a few days before the twenty-third," Louis shrugged. "Management will have my ass if I push it anymore than that." "We'd be having it in early afternoon. You could go afterwards," Harry pleaded. "Harry, love, it takes eleven and a half hours to get there. What if we have it tomorrow? That way I can leave tomorrow night and can get there with enough time so I don't get my arse chewed," Louis suggested. "But that's not enough time to plan and prepare..." Harry said, feeling defeated. "Who are you all inviting?" Louis wondered. "The boys, my family, yours," Harry told him. "I could invite some of our other friends too." Louis felt like an asshole. He didn't like dulling Harry's mood, but it was Modest's fault. "How about this - while I'm in L.A., why don't you plan a beautiful and amazing party and we can have it when I get home?" Obviously, Harry didn't like the sounds of that. "How long will you be in L.A.?" There was a moment of silence before there was a barely audible answer hanging in the air. "No longer than two weeks." "Two weeks?!" Harry said, completely appalled. "You're spending two weeks in Los Angeles with a woman that literally got pregnant for a fucking paycheck!? And it's not even your baby!" Just like that, Indie started whimpering after Harry's yelling, which caused instant heartbreak for Harry. He stood up from his place and walked over to Louis, grabbing the crying Indie from his fiance's arms. He began bouncing her, rubbing her back, and telling her that everything was okay. "H, you know that I have no control over all of the PR bullshit," Louis explained to him. "I don't want to go at all. I have no interest in this child. The poor thing was put on this Earth for bullshit reasons and it can't even defend itself." "Then don't go. Don't leave me alone for that long," Harry begged, his voice quiet and shaky. "Don't leave us." Louis was silent. Harry was frankly sick of the PR bullshit. He was fed up with how Modest! has been ordering them around like pawns in their game since 2010. But what really irked Harry was the fact that Louis never stood up for himself. Sure, he'd have a fit and let them know that he didn't like it, but he wouldn't do anything to stop it. It was because he was scared of them. Harry understood, but there's only so far that you can let a bunch of old crusty men walk all over you like a doormat. Even when Harry stood up for himself, Louis didn't really do much to help. It was up to him to stand his ground. He'd be damned if Louis was going to not only let Modest! walk all over him, but also Indie. That wasn't about to happen. They were a family and it was time that Louis quit acting as a chess piece. "As selfish as it sounds, I'm not going to give up One Direction. You're successful, H. You're going to go far on your own. I'm not as popular as you," Louis told him. "I need to put up with the bullshit in order to keep my career. You know that just as much as I do." "You are just as successful as me, Louis. We've gone through the same thing for the past five years. You don't need Modest! for success. You have a fan base. The fans aren't going to leave us just because we went on an indefinite hiatus," Harry told him, his voice rising. "You don't need to put up with this crap." "You don't understand. You really don't, H. I have no opportunities coming my way. You, you will. You have the face, the charm, the everything. You've always been the most popular one in the band," Louis said, his voice accusing. "The rest of us had a way different experience than you. Our names weren't on the tips of every teenager's tongues like yours. The rest of us are going to have to work and search for opportunities rather than getting them handed to us." Harry was speechless. Was Louis really blaming him for being popular over things he couldn't control? For his personality? For his goddamn looks? He couldn't believe what he was hearing. If he wouldn't have had Indie in his hands, he would've flown off the goddamn wall. "I am not going to sit here and listen to you act like I had complete control over how everything has gone. Not with my - our - daughter in my arms." With that final hiss, Harry turned and walked upstairs to the nursery. He was infuriated and most of all, hurt. He didn't want to be the one that was always in the spotlight, under a microscope. Every move he made was examined and criticized. It wasn't what he wanted. Back in the X Factor days, all he wanted to do was sing and show the world his talents and if it had to be with four other boys, he hadn't minded. He set Indie down carefully, looking at her big blue eyes that were wracked with sleepiness. She was so pure, untainted by the clouds of ugliness that engulfed the world. He didn't want to disappoint her or see her get hurt. He certainly didn't want to be responsible for it either. He wanted to give her everything in the world. The truth was that she wouldn't remember whether or not Louis was there. The more Harry thought about it, the more it occurred to him that it wasn't so much about Indie, but rather the fact that Louis was choosing something that went against everything that Louis and Harry were, for a management that wanted to do nothing but hurt them and their relationship. All Harry wanted was for his family to be together for some time out of the spotlight before it finds them again. ----
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Harry was startled awake by the feeling of his foot being shaken. When he realized what was going on, he blinked a few times to see Louis standing at his feet in the nursery. For a split second, Harry was happy to see him and then he remembered what had happened before, which had led him up into the nursery where he had ended up taking a long nap along with Indie. It couldn’t have been too long as Indie liked to cry after a certain amount of time.“What do you want?” Harry grumbled, his voice a bit hoarse from the sleep and the crying he had done earlier.“I see you’re still mad at me,” Louis shrugged.“Yes, you’re damn right I am. I was sleeping soundly before you came in here shaking my feet,” Harry told him. “And don’t think I forgot about what you said or the situation.”Louis was silent for a moment, looking down at his feet. “I figured you hadn’t. I wanted to talk to you about that.”“About how you’re going to abandon us for your fake family?” Harry scoffed, automatically feeling himself get angry at the mere thought of Briana and her unborn child that wasn’t biologically Louis’.“No. I know that you wanted to have a shower or party for Indie. I want to too. So, how about we have a small gathering of just the boys, Gemma, and Lottie before I have to go and then when I get back, we can have the big grand one like you want?” Louis suggested. “Just a little something so we don’t have to keep hiding her from everyone. I also am sick of getting Liam’s texts because that man is begging to see her. I’m pretty sure that he’s only going to continue being friends with us for our daughter.”The last part made Harry stifle a laugh. As much as he wanted one big grand party, he knew that he would have to wait to have it. Louis’ suggestion wasn’t a bad idea anyway. It would be nice to just get together with everyone anyway and have a round. A relaxed time didn’t seem like a bad time.“That’s fine. I know that they’re fighting to see her and we’re not letting them,” Harry agreed. “I’ll send a mass text out. Also, is she sleeping?”Louis looked over and down into the crib, a smile appearing on his face. “No, she’s just looking around and enjoying life.”“Ugh, I wish she would sleep at least a little bit,” Harry complained.“She does. Just not when we want her to,” Louis laughed. It was quiet and Louis’ tone turned quiet. “I’m sorry for what I said. I didn’t mean to be so harsh on you.”Harry looked back at him, seeing as Louis’ expression was sincere. “It’s not okay you said those things, but I do forgive you.”Harry walked over to the crib and laid a blanket over Indie, handing her her small teddy bear. She just looked up at him, moving around like a newborn baby does. Harry couldn’t help but smile down at her, still not able to completely wrap his brain around the fact that that beautiful little girl was a part of him. Obviously, himself being pregnant was something that he never imagined happening.“I’ll plan the party for tomorrow night, yeah? I’ll do all of the shopping and everything tomorrow,” Harry said as he walked into the living room, fishing out his phone.“I do have a meeting for the Rovers tomorrow, just so you know,” Louis announced.Harry looked at him, more annoyed than shocked. “And you’re just telling me now that you’re going all the way to Doncaster tomorrow? Jesus Christ, Louis.”“What? No, I’m not going to Donny tomorrow. They’re in London and want to meet up to discuss a charity game,” Louis told him.“Oh, good. I was about to figuratively rip your throat out if otherwise,” Harry breathed. “Anyway, what time are you leaving?”“At ten. I can’t imagine it will last overly long, but those guys like to talk. And drink,” Louis snorted.“Okay. That’ll be fine. I’ll just take Indie with me,” Harry shrugged. Louis’ face instantly turned white.“You’re taking Indie to the store with you? Harry, what about paparazzi? Fans? Our families haven’t even met her yet and the world might get that chance before they do?” Louis panicked.“Celebrities do this all the time, Lou. If I don’t want paparazzi to see her, they won’t. I ordered a covered carrier for her the other day so we can bring her places without worrying about paparazzi. I don’t really want to hide her, but I want to give her the most normal life as we possibly can. I don’t want her growing up a spoiled brat,” Harry explained to him.Louis was silent for a minute. “I don’t want anything bad to happen to you. If the paps want something bad enough, they will get it. You know how far they’ll go. I know that we aren’t royals by any means, but Princess Di? She died because of the paps. I don’t want that for you or our daughter. Just because the band is on hiatus, doesn’t mean that we instantly lost our fame stars. The paps are dying to see how we’re spending this break. If they see you with a baby, who knows what headline they’ll come up with.”“Louis, I know. And you don’t have to worry. Nothing bad is going to happen because nobody other than our families, the boys, and management knew that I was even pregnant or that we were starting a family. The fans know that I love babies and that I’m friends with people that have babies. Nothing is going to stop them from thinking that she’s someone else’s kid. We’ll be okay,” Harry reassured.Harry could see that Louis wasn’t convinced about the grocery trip that was going to take place, but he didn’t say anything. There was no reason that Harry couldn’t be a normal dad and go grocery shopping with his baby. Besides, if he went to a lowkey enough place where people didn’t go, then everything would be okay. Chances were that paparazzi wouldn’t even be somewhere small. Besides, it had been ages since Harry had been able to go out in public, looking like his normal self. He deserved to at least go grocery shopping for an hour.----By the time Harry had gotten Indie dressed and in her winter gear, Louis had already left for his meeting. It was pretty sad that Harry was feeling so exhilarated about going to the grocery store. Once he had gotten his own coat and mittens on, he buckled Indie into her carrier and went out to their vehicle. He hadn’t quite become an expert at buckling in a baby, but if it kept giving him the struggle that it did every time, then he would become a professional in no time. As he struggled, Indie was just looking at him underneath the brim of her winter hat. She was so content when she wasn’t crying.Harry finally figured out the baby seat and then hopped into the driver’s seat. As he turned the car on, he prayed to the Lord above that the radio wasn’t on full blast because he didn’t want to scare Indie into a fit of tears. He knew that Louis had been the last one to take it, even if it was Harry’s car. He was anticipating the loudness of The Killers or something, but a huge sense of relief came over him when it was silence. As he peered in the review mirror to back out, he saw Indie’s little eyes looking around, the expression on her face full of wonder and curiosity.The ride to the grocery store wasn’t terribly long as there was one just a few miles from their house. When he pulled into the lot, there didn’t seem to be as many cars there as he was anticipating, which made him beyond happy. The chances of him being noticed and paps running after him was just as slim as he had hoped it would be. The other part he was grateful for was that his vehicle blended in with the rest of them because they were on the more expensive side of town, something that he was actually okay with for once. His car wouldn’t make him stick out for once.As Harry got ready to get out of the car, he grabbed his beanie to help “disguise” him a little bit. Hats always threw people off. He hopped out and opened the back door, Indie looking out at him and moving her little arms just the slightest bit. Harry couldn’t help but fall even more in love with how adorable she was. He was so grateful for her.“Hey, little baby. Are you ready for your first outing?” Harry cooed at her. Being a baby, of course, she just stared back at him.Getting the carrier out of the seat was better than putting it in and he got it out within just a few minutes - a record. He and Indie started walking towards the store, Harry looking down at the ground as he walked in fear of people passing by recognizing him, even though nobody walked by. It was force of habit, just like the feeling of paranoia that paparazzi was hiding in the bushes.Once he was in the store, he walked over to the trollies and then had himself an “oh shit” moment when he realized that he had no idea whatsoever how to put the carrier into the trolley. He paused, nobody in the general area was even paying attention to him and he wanted to keep it that way, but he knew as soon as he started trying to fiddle with the carrier, he would draw attention to them.“Sir, do you need help?” a little voice came from behind him.Nearly jumping out of his skin, Harry turned around and looked at the little auburn-haired teenager that was standing there, the sweetest smile on his face. “Um, hello.”“Do you need help with the carrier? I don’t mean to be nosey. You just looked a little confused,” she chuckled.“Oh, was it that obvious?” Harry chuckled, feeling a little cautiously optimistic that she didn’t recognize him. “Yes, that would be great. I’ve never actually had to take a baby into the grocery store with me before.”“That’s alright! Baby carriers are a puzzle all their own, so I don’t blame you. I used to nanny, so I had to learn these things quick,” she said, stepping closer to Harry. She gestured towards Indie. “May I?”Harry nodded, raising Indie’s carrier to her and she grabbed it gently. She started to set her gently onto the trolley on top of where the seat was. She wiggled it around, making sure it was secure and got it done instantaneous. “You two should be all set. I’ll let you on your way!”“Thank you for the help, er…” Harry trailed.“Victoria. And it was no problem, Harry,” she smiled. Harry’s face went white. He knew he shouldn’t have accepted help. Now he was screwed and his Indie was going to be revealed to the world. He thought he was safe. “Don’t worry. I won’t tell the media you’re here. We get celebrities in here all the time and we don’t like to interrupt their privacy. I’m just glad I could help.”“Thank you for that, Victoria. I truly appreciate it, as does the baby and her parents,” Harry covered.—-Indie didn’t start getting fussy until the end of the trip and Harry figured it was because it was past her bottle time and almost nap time. As soon as he pulled into the driveway, he jumped out and grabbed the crying baby in the carrier. He loved babies, but the one thing that he didn’t love was the high pitched wails. It broke his heart, for one. And two, it was deafening. Louis’ car wasn’t in the garage, like Harry had wished for, but he wasn’t surprised either.He ran up to the nursery to check her diaper, just in case that was also what was making her angry. Gently, Harry set her down onto the changing table, her face red with frustration. Harry shushed her, knowing that wasn’t going to hold any water with anyone. He grabbed the things he needed out of the little cupboard, hurrying as fast as he could so he could fix Indie and have her stop sobbing.Just as he started to undress the little baby, his phone started blaring, upsetting the baby even more. Harry grunted in frustration, especially when he saw the name on the ID. It was management.“Hello? This is an inopportune time, can I call you back, Andrea?” Harry huffed, sticking the phone between his ear and his shoulder as he continued trying to change the baby.“I just wanted to discuss the details of the upcoming PR,” Andrea answered. “Are you sure you don’t have a minute?”“Do you not hear the screeching child in the background? I have to change her, feed her, and put her down for a nap. Not to mention, I have to plan a baby shower. Louis’ not home at the moment, so I am the only one here to do anything. So, yes, I am sure as shit I don’t have a minute. Especially for the likes of Modest management,” Harry hissed.“Wait, Harry - I’m not with Modest anymore. They let me go this morning. I was calling you because I wanted to tell you the things that they are failing to mention,” Andrea pleaded.Harry rolled his eyes. This wasn’t the first time one of their minions pulled that card. “I’m insulted that you all think that I am that stupid. Please lose my number. I sincerely don’t want to speak to any of you ever again.”With that, Harry hung up. They never went through Harry for Louis’ stunts and he knew that they were trying to trick him into something. They think that they can guilt him into it because they think they have control over his family, which Harry was going to make sure that they didn’t.—-Harry was tangled in the pink streamers, regretting that he had even thought they’d be a good decoration idea. Indie was sitting in her little bassinet, watching as Harry struggled. He had decided to have the shower in the sun room since that was an area they didn’t frequent other than on holidays and this seemed like a holiday-like occasion.Once he got the streamer up where he wanted it, Harry went over to the couch and plopped down onto it. He grabbed his phone from his pocket, checking the time. It was already almost five in the evening and Louis still wasn’t home yet. Harry hadn’t expected that the meeting would be quick, but he also hadn’t expected that it would go so late into the night. It was starting to irk him. He didn’t think that he would have to set everything up all by himself. While he loved taking care of Indie, it was hard to get ready for a party and also take care of a baby. Granted, it wasn’t as though Indie was a difficult baby - she was being very well behaved. Harry felt selfish, but he just wanted some help because he felt like he was the only one who was doing anything.
To Louis:
Harry: are you going to be home for dinner tonight or should i just figure on Indie and me?
Annoyed, he threw his phone over onto the other cushion and got back up to continue decorating and getting ready. His normally all-white room looked like pink threw up all over it. It was going to be great. He was figuring on having hors devours rather than a big fancy meal. Dainty, but tasty.He went into the kitchen, Indie on his hip. Harry gently set her down into the Pack N’ Play while he felt himself grow more and more annoyed as he thought about Louis. There was no excuse as to why his meeting lasted literally all day. It felt like Louis didn’t want anything to do with the shower or introducing their princess to their closest family and friends. From the start, he had been trying to put it off and treating that stupid stunt like it was the most important thing in the world. It was like the fake family Modest! was trying to produce was more of a priority than the family that they had built together. Harry was starting to feel like Louis wanted to keep them completely hidden and had no intentions of coming out together. Louis could say he hated the false narrative that Modest! was trying to push as much as he wanted, but if he hated it so much, why wasn’t he fighting it? Why wasn’t he telling them off or standing up for himself? Or standing up for Harry? Or now standing up for his family as a whole? Now that they’re on hiatus, they are technically free to do what they want and could bring lawyers into it. Modest! doesn’t want a black eye on their reputation if one of their biggest stars was going to sue them, so they would most definitely back down.Harry just wanted to know why. He felt like Louis was ashamed to be gay and now he was ashamed that he had a freak of a partner that could physically have children. The last thing that Harry wanted for his daughter was for her to feel like her dad wasn’t proud of her or feel like he was ashamed of her. Their family was more important than anything and Harry thought that Lou understood that, but it was appearing like he didn’t.—-Something was softly pushing on Harry’s shoulder, causing him to jerk awake, nearly jumping out of his skin. He blinked his eyes a few times to let them adjust to the light to see what was in front of him. It was Louis, standing above him, still clad in his winter coat with a small smile on his face. Harry almost thought he was cute and then remembered the angering situation.“Hey, H, I’m home,” Louis said softly. “Looks like you and Indie were busy.”“Yeah, with no thanks to you,” Harry spat, his voice hoarse.The look on Louis’ face turned into a saddened expression. Harry sat up in the chair and looked over at the Pack N Play where Indie was moving around gently in her sleep. Looking over at the clock on the wall, it read 1:23 in the morning. Where the hell had Louis been for that long?Harry got up, gently pushing past Louis to grab Indie and get her ready for bed. He ran his fingers through his knotty curls, getting them out of his eyes. He felt as Louis stared at him and when he finally had Indie in his arms, he looked back at his fiance. “I’m getting her ready for bed. Sorry you were too busy to at least see her today.”He walked up the stairs to the nursery, flipping the light on. The sound of Louis’ Vans hitting the stairs soon echoed in the hallway. Harry pretended like he wasn’t paying any mind to him and grabbed a fresh diaper along with Indie’s jammies out of the cupboard. The footsteps stopped and Harry saw Louis standing in the doorway, leaning on the doorframe.“Harry, please tell me you’re not angry with me,” Louis pleaded, almost sounding like Harry had no reason to be.“Mad? Who said anything about being mad?” Harry stated plainly. He paused and looked at Louis, the glare he had hopefully cutting right into him. “I’m disappointed and frankly, almost furious.”Louis looked shocked. “What did I do? I was late coming home, I understand that and I’m sorry. I don’t know what else I did wrong.”“Louis, I refuse to argue with you in front of our child. I don’t really want to talk to you tonight anyway,” Harry scolded. “All I can say is that you better be there for the shower tomorrow afternoon if you want me to even consider having a calm conversation with you.”Harry turned his back towards Louis and heard as he turned around and walked away a few minutes later. He felt bad having snapped at the love of his life, but he also needed to get the point across. Harry wasn’t going to let Modest! control his life anymore and he needed to make Louis aware of that. If he wasn’t going to go along with him, then that would write the end of their love story.—-“Holy shite, she is the cutest thing to ever exist!”The sounds of Liam and Niall cooing over Indie was enough to make Harry chuckle. He didn’t think that they would be that over the moon about his baby. Gemma walked over to him, a few snacks in her hand, as she stood next to Harry and watched.“Well, that’s a sight to see, innit?” Gemma chuckled.“It looks like I found my babysitters,” Harry joked.“So, where is your prince charming? I haven’t seen him around yet,” Gem asked, genuinely.Harry couldn’t help but roll his eyes, thinking of the night prior. They hadn’t actually spoke much that morning, despite Louis’ attempts. Harry had been more focused on getting ready for their guests and didn’t want to go into the shower in a bad mood.“He mentioned that he was going to the store to get a few things and would be back by the official start time at least. You three were just early,” Harry told her.“You know, as much as I love you, can I be honest?” Gemma asked.“I’m not sure I want to hear it,” he said, sucking in a breath. His sister loved to be brutally honest with him.“You two made a beautiful baby girl, but he’s just been giving me horrible vibes the past couple of months,” she stated.“Gem, he never ch-”“I know, I know, it was a stunt. That’s not all I’m talking about though. He’s seemed off. Maybe he’s just excited about Indie and having her, but I just…I feel like he’s not telling you everything, especially after what you told me happened yesterday,” she pointed out. She reached out and softly grabbed Harry’s arm as she watched his face fall. “I don’t want to panic you or anything. I’m hoping I’m wrong and that he’s just having that preparental panic. But I’m your sister and Indie’s auntie and I want to protect you.”Harry nodded, not feeling better about the situation.Even though it could have been Gemma overreacting, he couldn’t help but fear that there was some truth to it. Louis most definitely wasn’t telling him everything. If he had been, why would he have been out all night?As if on que, the front door opened and Louis came in, his arms carrying bags. Harry wanted to talk to him right then and there to get the elephant out of the room and prove that Gemma was wrong, but he knew it wasn’t the time or place. They had guests coming. They were celebrating the arrival of Indie. Whatever was going on could wait just a little longer.Harry walked into the kitchen to where Louis was unpacking the bags. He glanced up, his sea blue eyes soft as he shot him a smile. “Hey, H. I see Gemma’s here.”“She brought Niall and Liam. I’m scared those two might kidnap Indie,” Harry laughed awkwardly.There was an awkward silence before Louis spoke again. “Are you okay?”Harry looked up from the floor, their eyes meeting for what felt like the first time in eons. He squeezed his crossed arms tighter against his body. “Can we chat after the shower? There’s some things I think we need to discuss.”Louis nodded. “Are you angry with me yet? I really am sorry for being out so long, Haz. I promise I’m not cheating on you or anything like that. I love you.”“Love you too,” Harry muttered with a tight half smile. Louis leaned in and kissed his cheek. Although he said he wasn’t cheating, he still felt uneasy. Something was brewing.—-Everyone was sitting around and laughing as they shared memories and stories about one another. Harry was finally feeling happy and distracted, spending time with the people that he loved the most. While it was impromptu and not exactly what Harry wanted for his shower, he was glad that they chose to do it. These people understood their relationship, the hardships, the good times…and they still loved him. They loved the relationship and they loved Indie most of all. That was all Harry has ever wanted was for his child to be surrounded by love. It warmed his heart that his daughter was gradually making her way around the room, meeting her family.They were in between reminiscing when the sound of a phone blared through the room, startling everyone. Louis shot up from his place next to Harry and took off towards the garage as soon as he saw the caller I.D. A sudden feeling of annoyance washed over Harry and he felt Gemma grab his arm.“What was that about?” Lottie commented as she took a drink of her punch. “I haven’t seen him move that fast in a long time.”“Who knows anymore,” Harry sighed. He wanted to say something snarky but decided that wasn’t a good idea being that his parents, sister, and young twin siblings were sitting there.“So, where’s the other girls?” Liam clapped, changing the subject back into a better one.“Felicity was out of town with a friend. Phoebe and Daisy were staying at their friends house for the weekend, so it’s just the five of us,” Johannah said with a smile as she looked at Ernest and Doris playing in the corner.Harry couldn’t take it anymore and got up from his seat. He needed to know what the hell his fiancé was doing so secretly and put an end to it. He was not going to live their life together with a bunch of secrets and lies. He felt eyes on him as he quickly walked towards the door. Hesitantly, he put his hand on the knob and pushed it open, seeing Louis standing on the other side, his back towards Harry. Quietly, Harry stepped down the stairs, waiting to see if Louis said anything telling, but all he was giving was one worded answers that didn’t sound particularly happy.“Fine. Whatever,” Louis sassed before taking the phone away from his ear and hanging it up. He spun around and his eyes locked to Harry’s, surprised. “What are you doing out here?”“You want to tell me what’s going on?” Harry asked bluntly. “And don’t you think about bullshitting me either, Louis. This relationship - this family - is not going to have secrets and lies because that has been our lives for the past five years. So, please, tell me the god damn truth.”Harry watched Louis take a gulp before he started walking towards him. He wasn’t sure what to expect - he was thinking that he was going to try one of his romance moves until Louis muttered and walked past him. “I need to go.”“Excuse me, what? You need to go? Where and who could be more important right now?” Harry demanded, spinning on the heel of his Chelsea boot. Louis didn’t bother looking at him, but instead just shook his head as he walked back into the house. Harry quickly followed him in, not about to leave the conversation. “Louis, look at me, dammit!”Louis stopped in his tracks and Harry saw everyone over in the sun room looking towards them confused. Louis finally hissed. “Harry, now is not the time. Not in front of our families and friends. I need to go.”“Now is not the time to call you on your shit, but it’s the time for you to literally be walking out on your daughter’s baby shower?! Do not tell me what to do when you are actually abandoning your family right now and sneaking around until all hours of the night,” Harry snapped, his voice rising as he spoke.“I need you to stop screaming at me. Do you think I have a choice in anything that is going on right now? Do you think I want to be leaving right now? Do you think that I want to fly all the way to California for the birth of a child that isn’t even mine?!” Louis sassed, his face reddening from fury.“Yes, you do have a fucking choice, Louis! You are twenty-five years old! You are an adult! You are letting these crusty twats control your life - OUR lives!” Harry continued.“It’s not that god damn easy! I don’t know how many times I have to fucking tell you that! I can’t just walk away from this like you did! I don’t have the guarantee that I’m going to be successful because I’m not the favorite. I’m not the household name that every goddamn human being knows like you are! It’s nothing for you to just throw your hands up and walk the fuck away! Not only that but I am doing this for us!” Louis spat, the veins in his neck popping out.“You’re doing this for us? Are you fucking kidding me, Louis?” Harry cried. “You are sneaking around, shoving your real family into a fucking closet while you can parade around with a fake ass family and God knows what else. I’m done with these stunts, Louis. If you want a life together, this shit is going to stop.”“It can’t stop, Harry. No matter how badly you and I want it to,” Louis said, his eyes starting to get glassy with tears. “I don’t want to fake a family, I don’t want to fake another relationship. I-”“Fake another relationship?! There’s another girl?” Harry asked, defeated. He should’ve known that he wasn’t even close to getting his happily ever after. “That’s fucking it, Louis! This is OVER! I never want to fucking see you again!”Gemma rushed over to Harry while Niall and Liam stood behind Louis. Harry felt a surge of rage, anger, and hurt rush over him and he started bawling as he was about to pounce on Louis, but Gemma grabbed his shoulders, holding him back. He started writhing to get out of her grasp as he shook with tears and kept repeating “Fuck you, Louis!” over and over.That was why Andrea called. She wanted to warn him before...this.Harry's body collapsed at the realization and he fell into Gemma’s embrace. She led him over to the couch while Niall and Liam backed off of Louis while he ran up the stairs. Through his tears, Harry could hear the heartbreaking squeals coming from Indie and the hush noises one of their mothers was making to try and calm the poor baby. The fact that Indie was screeching due to their screaming match broke Harry’s heart. She shouldn’t have had to bear witness to that. None of their family members should have. The one thing that he never wanted his children to see was their parents fighting and Harry just failed himself on that promise. He glanced up towards Louis’ family, only being able to make out their shapes, whimpering “I’m sorry” repeatedly. The Tomlinsons had been nothing but good to him and they were family…he felt awful that they - especially his mum - had to see that; it made him bawl worse.Gemma was rubbing circles on his back, trying to calm him as she cradled her bawling brother. As she rocked him slowly back and forth, he couldn’t help but think to himself that his relationship was over. What he thought was going to be his fairytale ending just blew up in his face and reality slapped him right along with it. He had tried so hard, he had fought with all his might for himself and Louis to be together for five-plus years.He couldn’t do it anymore.Harry was defeated.—--
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
The way he found out about everything happening was through the tabloids. There was another girl that Louis was “dating” - Danielle Campbell. Harry recognized her from a few movies and she seemed sweet, but now he has a sour taste towards her due to the circumstances. Freddie was born sometime within the last week - the media kept saying different dates, so lord knows what the real one is. And Louis was posting photos with Freddie, stating how much of a proud father he was. Harry never thought he’d have such anger towards a baby, but he did and the poor baby didn’t even do anything wrong.
It felt like his nightmares were coming true. He was in this alternate universe, watching Louis from the outside in, like there wasn’t any history between them other than being bandmates. He appeared happy and elated. He appeared like this was real. If it was acting, Louis deserved an Oscar. That was supposed to be Harry going on cute dates with him and Louis taking cute father-daughter photos with Indie and showing her off to the world. But it wasn’t. It was with her.
Harry was still utterly in love with Louis and he always would be. Louis was his first and only love - it scared him having to picture and think about his life without him. But it wasn’t the same anymore. Harry was hurt to the core by all of the sneaking around. Why didn’t Louis think that he could talk to him about what was going on? Yeah, he had definitely voiced his dislike for the PR stunts and the fake narrative, but he wanted to be there for Louis. He wanted him to be able to talk to him. They were a couple,
a family,
and Harry wanted to be by Louis’ side through the shittiness. Harry wanted to help Louis walk away from the bullshit stories and he wanted to support him in his solo career. He knew that Louis was going to be successful with Modest. He knew it in his gut because so many of their fans loved Louis. He was talented and that’s what would get him places. Harry wanted to walk through the light at the end of the tunnel and help Louis realize just how amazing he was without these game masters controlling him. That was what partners and families do for each other. To Harry, there wasn’t a popularity contest within the band. The boys were a family, a team. They were all successful no matter what they wanted to do and they would be there for one another through it.
“Hazzy?” a soft voice came through the bedroom. Harry looked back at Gemma with a small smile. “I brought you some tea. I figured you were thirsty.”
She walked into the room and gave the cup to Harry. The giant mug warmed his hands. Gemma had been staying with him since the meltdown at the shower. He had tried to get her to go home, but she wouldn’t have it. He knew that it was probably for the best and when he had found out things through the media, he was glad that he hadn’t been alone. God knows how he would’ve reacted. She also was helping to take care of Indie, which was much appreciated. It wasn’t like Harry wasn’t taking care of her, but he was so numb and depressed, that he wasn’t being the dad that he should’ve been.
“Are you doing alright?” Gemma asked.
“My family is over before it really began, innit?” Harry exhaled, his voice hoarse from all of the crying and lack of use.
Gemma took him in a hug. “H, it’s only over if you aren’t going to fight for it anymore. That means both you and Louis. You don’t know where his head is at right now. With how things were left, I’m sure you’re the number one thing on his mind.”
“Why are you defending him, Gem? If I was the first thing on his mind, he wouldn’t be over there, traipsing around with some girl and toting her son as if he’s actually his own,” Harry spat, hoping that Gemma wasn’t turning on him. “He has a choice. He can step away just as well as I did and he knows that.”
“Harry, I’m not defending him. I’m just telling you the truth. You have a daughter involved now. You have more than just your happiness to fight for. You can’t just throw in the towel - you have to consider where that’s going to leave Indie,” Gemma told him bluntly.
“You think I don’t know that? I want nothing more than for Indie to grow up in a happy family that isn’t riddled with divorce or animosity. I’ve been fighting for that since 2010, especially in the last few months. I was fired from my own god damn band because I wanted our family to be happy and not controlled. Every time Louis fucked something up, I’ve opened my arms back to him because how much I love him and because of our family. Not that I even considered getting rid of her, but I kept Indie because I believed that Louis and I were going to be able to finally start our lives together and have a family. I’ve been fighting this war and it’s becoming apparent to me that I’m the only soldier and it’s a losing battle. I can’t do it anymore, Gemma. He’s going to keep picking Modest over us every time.
Every time.
I’ve gotten so mentally exhausted, shouting and pleading with him to stop being their pawn. I’ve lost the energy. I don’t deserve to be hidden and neither does Indie. Neither of us are deserving of being treated like a dirty, raunchy secret,” Harry vented tiredly, tears rolling down his cheeks. He turned to look at the concerned Gemma. “I just don’t have anymore left to give if I’m not getting anything back.”
Gemma didn’t say anymore and wrapped her arms around Harry’s shoulders before the sound of Indie’s cries broke through the tense atmosphere. She scurried out of the room, going to the nursery. Harry rested his head out the window and watched the small little snowflakes slowly fall to the ground. It was getting dark and dreary outside, much like it had been the past week. It was fitting, like the weather was coordinated with Harry’s mood. Usually he had sunshine in his life to brighten the usual English dreary days, but his sunshine left and he wasn’t sure when it would come back, if it even would.
—-
28 Days Later
“...swimming in a glass half empty,” Harry sang softly as he put together some of the lyric notes that he was writing as he rocked Indie back and forth. She was watching him, hanging on each word as her eyes fluttered. “Trying to remember how it feels to have a heartbeat.”
He had been toiling around with a song that he had started writing a couple of years ago, but this time adding more emotion and experience into it. Songwriting had been helping him quite a bit the last couple of weeks. His emotions were being expressed onto the page rather than just bottling up until he imploded. It was nice being able to write without the pressures of getting it done by a certain time. It allowed time for perfection and tweaking so it was exactly what Harry wanted it to be. Indie also approved of it and it also helped her relax before she went to sleep - it was his secret weapon.
It had just been the two of them for nearly a month. Louis hadn’t tried to call or anything, which didn’t surprise Harry, but made him sad that he didn’t even want to try to see his own child through FaceTime or anything. Harry didn’t know what was even going on with Louis as far as the stunts were concerned. For all he knew, he was galavanting with his new girlfriend on a beach somewhere. He had been strategically avoiding social media by turning off all access to the internet. It only upset him and twisted the knife deeper. Why should he put himself through that anymore than he had already been through?
Harry was humming the tune that he was going for with the song that he was writing - the song that has yet to be named. He looked down at Indie, her eyes were flickering, trying so hard to keep them open but she was so tired. Deciding that she was ready to be put down for the night (or a couple hours hopefully), Harry gently got up and went upstairs to the nursery. He set her sleepy little body down into her crib and covered her with the baby blanket that Johannah so nicely gave them. He softly rubbed his thumb against her fine hair, admiring his daughter. The blanket had used to be Louis’ baby blanket. It was an old zigzagged rainbow one that someone had knitted together - Louis’ nan. It was a beautiful heirloom that Harry was glad that their child was able to have. That was part of her history.
The sound of the front door shutting interrupted Harry’s thoughts, sending a jolt of panic through his body. He swiftly got up and snuck towards the door. He knew that Liam and Niall would’ve texted before coming and he knew that Gemma was back home. He tip-toed to his room next door and grabbed the baseball bat that was hidden behind the dresser. Slowly, he walked towards the stairs, taking them one at a time very slowly. He heard the sound of keys jingling and someone walking around in the kitchen. He paused when he got to the part of the staircase that was visible from their breakfast bar attached to the kitchen so he didn’t tip off the intruder. The noise stopped and Harry quickly shut his eyes, hoping to hear the person leave the house. He opened his eyes and heard a squeak come from Indie’s room, making him turn his head.
“Harry?” a voice came from the bottom of the steps, nearly sending Harry into a coronary.
He brought the bat up, ready to swing it and then he saw who it was. “What the fuck, Louis?! It’s nearly nine at night! You realize I could have swung at you?!”
“I knew I should’ve taken that bat out of there,” Louis half laughed. “Thanks for not hurting me. Even though you probably wish you could.”
Harry held his poker face. He wasn’t going to let him see the emotions. “What are you doing here?”
“I’m home. I didn’t think you were here, considering how dark it was,” Louis stated.
They stood in an awkward silence for a few moments before Louis turned and headed back towards the kitchen. Harry followed suit, wanting an explanation as to why Louis was suddenly making a reappearance after being radio silent for however long. The vibes between them were definitely different. It felt like they were strangers. Louis’ luggage was sitting against the wall by the door to the garage.
“This isn’t your home anymore, you know,” Harry forced out, his arms crossed in front of him. He hated being so cold to Louis, but he just couldn’t do it anymore and Louis needed to know that Harry wasn’t just going to bend over and take it.
Louis turned around and leaned against the kitchen island, his soft blue eyes meeting Harry’s as he shook his head. “I know. I’m sorry.”
Harry didn’t say anything because his brain was blank. He had so many things to say - good, bad, terrible - but he just couldn’t say anything. As he looked at Louis, he felt love towards him, but not like he used to. He didn’t feel the immense sparks and storm of butterflies in his stomach. He didn’t want to smile at the sight of him anymore. That was replaced with hurt and pain. He wanted to cry. It was a feeling Harry didn’t know how to describe and certainly didn’t like it.
“I never wanted it this way,” Louis muttered, looking down at his hands. “You don’t deserve the pain I’ve put you through. You deserve better. You deserve to have a family and a husband that can give you the universe and Indie deserves a dad that can give her his full attention. I don’t deserve you or her - I never did. But I’m honored and so grateful that I at least got the chance. You and Indie are the best things to have ever happened to me and I will never forget that.”
There was a heavy pause before Harry spoke again, his vision blurring with tears. He was speechless. “I don’t know what to say.”
“You don’t have to say anything. I just wanted you to know,” Louis spoke again sadly, his gentle voice cracking.
Harry felt his already broken heart break even more, but he had to stand his ground. It was going to take more than that if they wanted to be a whole family again. They stood there in silence, neither one about to speak. It felt completely different than it used to. It was as though there were two completely different people in the room. They were ghosts of who they once were.
“You can’t stay here,” Harry murmured, staring down at the countertop. “I can’t have you here.”
He looked up to see Louis nodding slightly and slowly, the saddest expression on his face. Louis’ eyes met his, the tears pooling against his irises glistening in the soft light as he let out a shaky whisper. “I understand.”
Harry had to leave the room before he lost it. He was about to bound up the stairs to retire to bed so he could cry himself to sleep in private, but he stopped short. Something in him couldn’t go up the stairs - he wanted to know what Louis would do next - would he stay? Would he leave? Is he crying or doesn’t it bother him? Harry sat down quietly on the step, his heart jumping at the thought of Louis catching him sitting there. Not that he would’ve done anything anyway.
The sound of sniffles came from the kitchen and Harry knew that Louis was trying not to cry. The front door creaked as it opened and then he heard it latch shut. Harry fidgeted with his fingers, trying to distract himself, picking at his nails as a few tears of his own slipped down his cheeks. How did they get to this point? How did Louis, for as strong-willed and dominant as he is, become so submissive to being bossed around and controlled like a pawn?
He went up to his bedroom, seeing the remnants of Louis’ things. He knew that he would have to let Louis in and get all of his belongings. He was going to arrange it so it was when Harry wasn’t home. The thought sent him into a whirlwind as it was. Slowly, Harry got ready for bed, hanging up his clothes and straightening up as he went along. That was when he noticed a photo on one of the shelves on Louis’ side of their walk-in closet. He walked over to the photo, his eyes welling with tears. It was one of their very first photos together - back from the X Factor days.
The day was clear in his mind - it was a moment he would never forget. It was right after the results for the third week of the show - they had been safe, of course. Harry remembered being nervous that he had thrown it for them that week, but he constantly felt like that during that time. That photo was also their first official photo as boyfriends. Harry had kissed Louis on the cheek right before that photo was taken and the photographer thought it was sweet, asking if they were together. He remembered him being shy and Louis instantly gushing about it, in which the photographer thought it was sweet and wanted to have the honors of taking their first photo together. That photographer was the first and last person under Simon Cowell and Modest that approved and was accepting of their relationship.
Harry’s hands started to shake as he admired and reminisced on the picture and the memory playing in his head. His fingers brushed against something stuck to the back of the frame. He flipped it over, seeing a small corner of paper taped perfectly to the back of it. The paper had Harry’s name, old phone number, and then a sloppily written “Oops!” on it. His knees nearly gave out. Louis had kept that piece of paper after all these years? It was a memento from their very first interaction when they had met each other in the bathroom. While they may have had the matching tattoos, this paper meant so much more. It was something physical from that very time. It was from the corner of Harry’s audition number. That was in the running for the best moment of Harry’s life. He knew that at the very moment when he had walked into that bathroom and made eye contact with Louis, he had met his soulmate.
Tears streamed down Harry’s cheeks. He missed how happy they had been. His head hurt. Louis was his soulmate…they weren’t meant to be apart. He knew deep into his core that there was nobody else meant for him and that Louis was it. The unfortunate realization was that Harry met the right person at the wrong time. Whether they were meant to be together forever or not, nothing would change the memories, love, happiness, and beautiful daughter that Louis gave to him.
And Harry won’t let go of that.
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