Work Text
At first, there was nothing.
There was nothing but debilitating darkness and emptiness. You felt numb, empty, completely without form as you waited. What were you waiting for? You didn’t know
what
, but you simply knew when -
eventually.
Eventually, you told yourself. Eventually there would be something. Eventually there would be a form for you to take, a name for you to become. Eventually, eventually, eventually…
And then you
felt.
It wasn’t anything special. It was simply the feather touch of air against your skin, something so soft and subtle that it’d be ignored by others. But to you - it was something. It was something new and something you’d never felt before. The soft kiss of air traced your arms, the hair you never knew you had rising. It was magical, it was amazing and you wondered if
this
is what you’d been waiting for.
What was
this
? Was it simply and wholly the touch of air? Or was it something more? Was there more to be felt? Was there more to this existence?
There were so many questions. And every single one of them had no answers.
And then you
smelled.
Something stung your nose, and you felt yourself frown. Whatever was stinging, it was harsh and sterile. Your mind raced from the stimulation. What was that smell? What did it belong to? Almost like second nature, you ran a scan. You didn’t even know
how
you did it - it just happened.
The results came just as easily too - it was 90% alcohol, 6% soap and 4% bleach. The smell belonged to hospital cleaner. Were you in a hospital? If so, why? Were you hurt? You didn’t feel pain. In fact, your entire body felt dormant and peaceful as the gentle brush of air caressed your arms.
And then you
heard.
At first, you weren’t sure what...
that
was. You weren’t sure what the ringing in your ears was, but you just knew it was
loud.
You could feel the soft pangs of pain in your head as it grew in volume, and you went to move your hands to cover your ears. But your body didn’t move. Your hands didn’t raise, your arms didn’t change… For a moment you felt panic and fear, but it disappeared as the ringing stopped.
It slowly lowered in volume until it was low and distant, and now you heard whirs. They were deep, and you could hear them move. Some were far away while some were insanely close. It was then you realized that the kiss of air was sounded like machines passing by you. What their jobs were you did not know. You simply heard and felt them move along.
Were you one of them? Was that why you could run a scan?
And then you
saw
.
It blinded and pained you as the world came in and out of view. Something dark fluttered over your vision, and you realized it was something under your control. It was your eyes. You had eyes.
And as you looked down, you realized you had
form.
You had eyes, you had a body and now…
You looked up from your feet - white and bare. In front of you were robotic arms, moving about as they shrunk back. They retreated back into themselves before disappearing into the walls. Their jobs were done.
That left the empty room. It was as white as the rest of the area, smelling of alcoholic cleaner and bright from the numerous lights. There was only you among its few shadows, vulnerable and raw and
curious.
What was this place? Was this what you had been waiting for? Was this...life? Was this was lied before the darkness?
“Hello,”
said a voice, and you stumbled backwards. Your back hit the wall from behind you, and you realized with a gasp you could move. You had control of this vessel, and with it, you could
move
. You shakingly took a step forward, body trembling as you moved. There was a noise - a laugh? “
Don’t be afraid. I’m here to help you.”
Your mouth tried to form words, and odd noises came from you before you finally found the ability to speak. “W-w-w…” A deep breath in and you felt your vitals calm. “Who...are you?” That was your voice. You felt it reverberate in your throat and ears. It felt odd.
“
I’m a doctor. I’m here to help you get adjusted. Now - let’s test your mobility. Take a few steps forward, please.”
Your legs were still shaking uncontrollable, and you reached up to grab the walls at your side. Your fingers scraped along them at first until you pushed, holding yourself up. Step forward… How did you do such a thing? You didn’t know. You simply stood and shook for a moment before pushing forward, lifting a leg.
Your foot touched the ground, and you felt your body’s weight shift. You almost buckled and fell, but your hands caught yourself. With a trip, you hissed but you stood.
Pulling yourself up, you stood tall. Your blood was rushing in your veins and you could feel the beat of your heart. Both were intense and overwhelming, but you found yourself loving the feeling.
It was new - like everything else was. The lights, the feeling, the state of
being
.
No longer were you among the shadows. Now, you were a part of the light.
Another step, and you didn’t let yourself fall. Another, another and finally, you stopped. The tiles were cool under your touch, sending shocks through your body. It was electric and thrilling. Something on your face twitched and you realized you were smiling.
“Good - it seems like emotions and facial features are working well. Now onto the most important step of them all. Step forward.
” You stepped forward.
“Look up towards this light.”
You looked up.
“And now tell me… What is your name?”
Your...name? Yes, a name to become. But there was no name for you to take. There was only a name you already were. It stirred within your form, your vessel, your being. You felt it bubble in your throat.
“My name…” Your fingers flexed, your heart stuttered and you spoke. “My name is (Y/N).”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Your body was bare and nude, a startling white base that blended in with the walls. You had no hair, no nipples or any other details. You simply were just...bare. You didn’t mind though. If anything, you were fascinated with the feel and sight of your body. It was something new. In fact, everything was new to you.It was overwhelming. It was exciting. And you frankly didn’t know what to do.For now, you listened to the woman who approached you. Your databases told you that the bright color of her hair was blonde, and her soft eyes were blue. They also told you her module name, which was Chloe. There was an array of other information, but for now you simply approached her. Your legs were still shaky but the woman reached forward and steadied you. “Be careful,” she said, and her voice made your ears hum. “Your systems are still calibrating.”You nodded, and you realized you were grinning. Trailing your fingers along her hand, you breathlessly laughed. “You’re beautiful,” you said and Chloe blushed before tapping your fingers.“Thank you,” she said. “I’m Chloe and I’m here to help you as you get adjusted to your surroundings. Do you know your name?” she asked before stepping away, gesturing for you to follow. You did as she requested, walking forward with her. The robotic hands that had been present moments ago reappeared, and you jumped. Panic enveloped your chest and you stepped back from Chloe. She sensed your fear and paused, offering an understanding look. “They won’t hurt you. They’re simply here to dress you.”“I won’t go back?” you asked, heart racing. Your systems were going haywire as you analyzed the scene around you, tracking the robotic arms.After a few moments of computing, your systems slowly began to predict where the arms would go. Clumsily, you dodged the robots. Chloe arched a brow at that but she looked understanding.Slowly she approached you as she raised a hand. The arms retreated and stopped, waiting for orders. “You won’t go back,” she gently said before taking your hands. Another smile came onto her lips. “You’re awake now. You’re in the world now,” she explained and you felt the panic ease away into hope.“Awake?” you asked and she nodded.“Yes. You were asleep for a long time as you were...made. Now, you’re ready to live again.”“What will there be?” you asked. “In this world?”Chloe’s brows furrowed at that and she reached up to your head, skin disappearing into her own base. You felt a tingle as her connection was established and you heard her soft voice in your head. “What do you remember?” You heard it in your head but not in your ears. It was odd but it felt...normal. Something probed a depth within you. And then a rush of emotions and images greeted you.You remembered a woman grinning down at you, hair wild and face coy. Another person was beside her, and you realized these people were your parents. They cared for you. You remembered the delicious smell of macaroni as they cooked it for you, the fun trips to the amusement park, the pride they displayed as you grew up.You remembered entering middle school, face broken out and body awkward. You remembered the first girl you liked and being too afraid to tell her. You remembered the cringey parties and jokes, the bad grades and the hours spent staying up. This only continued to high school until you met a boy - Jacob. He was the sun to your planets, blinding and loving.He was your first everything. He was your first date at a local diner with the best milkshakes. He was your first kiss at the football game. He was your first love. You remembered the laughing and confused touches. You remembered the promise he made to you - I will never hurt you. He was your first heartbreak after you found him with your best friend at the same diner, kissing her. You’d dumped milkshake all over his head and left. There’d been relief at college coming up in only a few weeks, and soon you were miles away and on your own. There you met an obnoxious woman who was your roommate. She was up all night partying and always ate your food. You hated her. You hated the way she smell amazing no matter what, the way her lips were always curled into a smirk and how she made you feel.You remembered finally going out with her one night and partying until the sun rose. You remembered getting drunk and seeing her with another girl. You’d been so upset. You’d stormed out and cried only for her to follow. It was under the soft glow of the morning sun did you find your new star as she kissed you - her. She’d showed you how to live. She’d given you reason to get up. She’d given you so much. You’d promised her you’d look out for her. You’d promised to protect her.Then she died. And you were alone again.You’d fled college. You’d fled home. And then you fled to Detroit where you joined the police department. You’d poured everything into your work and soon you were a detective. Then what? What came after that?You were unsure. There were flashes of lights and faces but none you recognized. Chloe watched you with curious eyes, head tilted and lips parted as she read your facial expression. “Are you alright?” she asked, gingerly reaching up. Her fingers brushed over your bare arms and you jumped. Everything was overwhelming. What was going on? How had you gotten here? The last thing you remembered was getting your promotion and-Something loud echoed in the room and you jumped, panic seizing you. There were suddenly two men storming in, and one you recognized to be an android. Your system instinctively latched onto his face and ran his numbers. He was an RK800 model designed to help with investigate work, and the man beside him was Hank Anderson, a lieutenant at your department. Were they here to investigate what had happened to you after you were promoted?The RK800 model stopped merely inches from you and Chloe turned, stepping in front of him with raised arms. “I have to ask you to leave-”“(Y/N)?” the android asked, brushing past her. He was right up to you now and you looked up to his face, breath short and heart fast. His entire face was contorted with happiness, a large grin on his face. His hands came up slowly and shakingly, taking a tender hold of your face. His thumbs rubbed circles into your jaw as he whispered, “It’s you. They did it.”You simply stood there for a moment before looking over his shoulder to Chloe. Her LED was red, mouth ajar as understanding passed her face. You looked back to the RK800 model. “I’m sorry...who are you?” They’d been upset. Based on your readings, the android’s stress level increased to dangerous levels and his LED flickered red. He’d looked at you, mouth agape but words not spilling. The man behind him shook his head, a soft “no” coming from him. You’d been so confused. Had you upset them?After a moment of stunned silence, Chloe turned. “You’ll have to leave, please. We need to run some more tests-”“What did you do to her?” the old man yelled. Chloe looked to him with wide yes, hands raised in a non-menacing manner. He stepped forward, pointing a finger at her. His heart rate was elevated. “What the fuck did you do?!”“Please,” Chloe almost begged and the android took a harsh swallow. He turned and approached Hank, slowly raising a hand to his back. He pushed.“Come on Hank,” he whispered. He sounded...sad? Lost? You were unsure. Your database was still coming together. Everything was so new and strange. Hank looked up to the android with wet eyes and you realized a single tear had streamed down his face. He caught you looking and he harshly shifted on his foot, turning his back to you. The two of them slowly exited the room.Chloe pushed her hair back before facing you. Her eyes were troubled as she stepped forward. “(Y/N), what’s the last thing you remember?” she tenderly asked before pressing a hand to your inner wrist.“What are you doing?” you asked, mildly panicked. Was she going to turn you off?Chloe must’ve sensed your fear. She raised her hands back up for a moment before offering a comforting look. “I’m simply accessing your memories. I want to make sure everything is okay,” she explained voice soft. You bit your lip before relenting. She smiled before returning her hands to your wrist. Just as she said, there was a probe in your system and you felt a rush of electricity sparking your veins. There was something new in your system and body, something guiding and curious. It poked and prodded at data.You thought back to the vivid memories. They smelled of sweets and sweat, and they felt heavy and old. Your chest tightened at the flashbacks. “I remember… My first day as a detective. It had been raining and cold. I’d stopped to get coffee nearby and spilled it on my shirt. I was so upset. I got in to the station and-” Everything was fuzzy. What came after that? “How… How did I end up here?” you asked and Chloe pulled back. That electric connection was abruptly cut off and that poking stopped.Chloe’s bright eyes were troubled, fear and shock evident. She stepped back before pausing, taking a deep breath. She avoided eye contact with you. “I’m sure Mr Kamski would like to check on you. Please, step forward to be clothed. He’ll be down shortly” she said, short and curt. Without hesitation, she left the room.Again you found yourself alone in the bare room. Your only companions were the arms around you, moving about with clothing. They dressed you in underwear first and as the cloth wrapped around you, you felt your skin appear. The color flushed your skin and you watched, mystified. You stretched your fingers out before stepping forward and off your pedestal. The arms followed too. They reached up and pull a tank top over your frame, before swooping in from under for you to step into some leggings.Everything was a perfect fit, specifically tailored for your body. But you still felt odd. You felt so raw and bare. You felt...lost. Why had the android and that man, Hank, been so upset? Why was Chloe been so troubled? What was wrong?Was it you? Was there something wrong with you?Your thoughts and emotions ran wild. You could feel your stress level rising as you looked around the room. The only friends you had, the robotic arms, disappeared back into the walls. This left you alone among the washed out isolation of the room. It was everything you hadn’t had before.Before waking up, it’d been dark. There’d been nothing . And now you were among the light. There was something beyond these walls but you simply didn’t know what. You were curious, but you were scared as well. Chloe, the android and Hank had been upset. There was something wrong with you. Would they put you back into that darkness? Would you lose all of these feelings once again?You desperately hoped not. You wanted to return to your apartment. You wanted to go home. And then what? Could you even return as a detective? There was no going home to your parents. You had no siblings. There was only you and this overwhelming world. You’d been a part of it once. Surely, you could be a part of it again.Not if there was something wrong with you.Anxiety coiled and hot, you began to wander the room. There was nothing unique to it. There was nothing dazzling or breathtaking. It was simply a white room with a white floor. But it was a change. It was a change from the void you’d lived within for...how long?You didn’t know. There was so much you didn’t know and it drove you mad.The tiles of the floor were cool and calmed you down. There was something strict and comforting about them - something routine. It reminded you of your bathroom and the white tiles there. You smiled at that. How you longed to take a bath.There was the familiar sound of a door sliding open and you turned to look. There stood a familiar man - a man you had seen numerous times on the TV. His black hair was tied back into a bun on the top of his head. A fitted red dress shirt tugged at his frame as he approached you, an inquisitive look upon his face. But as his eyes rest upon you, a look of wonder rang evident.He paused, a large grin curling his features. His arms raised and he gestured to you as though you were the mightiest thing. “You…” he breathlessly said. You arched an eyebrow his way as he slowly approached you. “Are magnificent.”You crossed your arms, swallowing roughly. Your systems automatically locked onto him and ran a scan. His name was Elijah Kamski, and in your database it said… “You’re Elijah Kamski,” you said before approaching him. His eyes glittered. “You’re...my creator?” A soft laugh came from you as so many questions rushed through you. “I don’t understand. The last thing I remembered was entering the station on my first day. And then… Then there was nothing.” That smirk slowly disappeared from Kamski’s face as he fixed you with a concerned look. “There was nothing but the void. What happened?” Another step forward. “Why am I here? How did I end up here? And why…” You raised an arm, compelling your skin to peel back. It did. Your bare base showed. “Why am I this? What happened to me?”Kamski crossed his arms. “You don’t remember?” He sounded curious. Were you just some puzzle to be solved? That made you clench your hands into fists.“No,” you said. “The last thing I remember was my first day at DPD. Everything after that is fuzzy.” Again, you held up your bare arm. “What happened to me? Why am I here? I don’t remember being an android or...whatever I am. I’m not human anymore.” Chloe’s lips were thinned as she looked to Kamski, who looked back. Both seemed upset. They appeared worried. Fear spread in your veins. “Why does everyone look so scared? What’s wrong with me?!” you whispered, voice cracking. You could feel the tears pricking at your eyes. “Who were those people? Why did they cry? And why do you look at me as though I’m a mistake?!” You couldn’t go back to that void. You couldn’t go back to that absolute state of...nothing-ness.Kamski snapped his gaze to you. His body tensed as he sighed. “(Y/N)... I don’t know how to tell you this,” he said.“Then just say it, please.” You needed to know how you’d gotten here. “ Please. ”“You died.” Your breath caught. “You died, (Y/N), and you’re now an android.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Dying was permanent. It was endless and dark, just as the void had been. It was isolating. It was tiresome. It was never ending.
That was death. It was permanent. So why were you alive?
How
were you alive? And who exactly was Hank and his android? For whatever reason, as Kamski took you to another room for testing, they stood nearby. The old man was rubbing his beard, heart rate high and anxiety higher. The android’s stress level was stagnant at 56% as he watched Kamski run some scans of your system.
You stood in an enclosed circular space, a glass screen separating you from the rest. On it displayed your vitals and various other information as Kamski tapped away on it, a curious look upon his face. There was some probing in your system, and you recognized that it was the computer Kamski was using. It had a wireless connection to your system. Could Kamski control you no matter where he was?
Was this what being an android meant?
The thought made your heart stutter and sink.
“Do you control me?” you asked and Kamski arched a brow at you, the corners of his lips twitching. He hit a few transparent buttons and you felt something in your brain tug, but it was gentle. There was no unnecessary pain.
“No,” Kamski said. “I don’t.” Another probe and you winced. Almost immediately, Kamski hit a few buttons and the pain retracted. You frowned.
“Then how are you connected to me right now?” you asked before tilting your head. “How are you in my brain right now?”
“Your body is that of an android,” Kamski said. A progress bar appeared on the screen and he stepped back, glancing from you to the screen. “And your mind, while engineered, is wholly human. You’re the first of your kind. How do you feel?” he asked and you swallowed roughly.
You were scared. You were confused. And you were...overwhelmed. This place was so bright and bare. You wanted the world you remembered - the harsh air of Detroit, the rough bricks of old houses and your apartment. You wanted to go home.
Maybe there you could think. Maybe there you could recover.
“Confused,” you finally said, and Kamski hummed.
“I’m sure you are. Tell me, what did you feel before you woke up? Was there anything?” he asked and Hank cursed.
“Christ, leave her alo-” he began to hiss but you took in a long, shuddering breath. The android shifted on his feet, eyes narrowed at he watched you. You could feel him monitoring your heart beat and stress level, just as you were monitoring him. Why was he so intent on you? The older man could barely meet your gaze.
“It was dark,” you said softly, and everyone stopped. Even Hank looked to you now, overcoming whatever blocked his gaze. “There was nothing but darkness. All I knew was that there was more than those shadows. All I knew is something would change.” Everyone was silent, and Kamski simply watched you, not even looking down to check the progress bar. The android’s LED changed to red briefly and Hank turned, muttering something low. A door opened up and he stepped out. You briefly thought you heard him hit something in the hallway.
“So, no heaven?” Kamski asked and you thought he sounded....disappointed. You weren’t sure. You were still getting used to reading emotions. You could barely read your own.
You shook your head. “I don’t remember death,” you said. “If there was something other than the void after my death, I didn’t experience it.”
The android was shaking. His eyes were twitching. Kamski was frowning. “Hmm...good to know,” he said as he finally looked down the progress bar. His lips thinned at the sight and he swiped away at a few menus. A low grunt came from him and the android looked over.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, the first words he’d spoken since you’d met. His voice made your heart sing for some odd reason, and the smell of whiskey and snow filled your mind. Your eyes fluttered shut at the smell...or the memories of the smells. It felt familiar. It felt like home.
Odd…
Kamski didn’t answer. He continued to tap on the screen, looking over various pieces of information. The android stepped forward, looking closely at the information. Kamski shot him a look. “Stand back, please. I’m still looking this over,” he hissed. There was a tone of urgency in his voice. But androids were fast and their comprehension skills were far above Kamski’s could ever be.
The android’s LED turned red. A solid, bright red. He stepped back, eyes wide and small. Kamski shot him a look. “I asked you to-”
“Brain damage?” the android asked. Kamski clenched his jaw, closing his eyes with a loud sigh. He turned to face him, and you could barely hear his words over the sound of your heart in your ears.
Brain damage? You suffered...brain damage? You didn’t understand. What did that mean?
“So there
is
something wrong with me,” you murmured, turning to look at the walls behind you. Just like every other part of this place, they were white and plain. But that’s all you needed. All you needed was to see something light and not dark. All you needed was something other than the void. Breath shaking, you ran your fingers along the tiles. The coolness calmed you down and you felt your body relax.
“(Y/N)?” It was Kamski. You looked over your shoulder to see both the android and man looking at you. The android’s LED was still red. Kamski was still frowning. “Are you alright?” he asked.
“Don’t send me back,” you said. Both appeared confused now and you stepped forward, pressing your hands against the glass. They were so close now yet so far, and you could see the data on the screen now. Something about your time of death and begin date of the project damaging memory integrity. There was something wrong with you. You were broken goods. You made eye contact with Kamski. He watched you like a benevolent God. “Don’t make me go back to the void. Please.” You looked to the android now, locking eyes with those warm brown irises. Sadness and grief dampened their glow. “Don’t let him make me go back.”
Something so utterly full of pain twisted his face as he looked at you. So many emotions flashed upon his features and your systems blanked from all the stimulus. Your fingers dropped from the glass as he looked down to his feet, raising a hand to cough. Kamski shot him a perplexed look before looking back to you. “We’re...not sending you back,” he said. Relief blossomed in your chest and you stumbled back with a gasp, clasping your hands over your chest. “Why do you think we’d...send you back?” he asked.
“Because I’m broken,” you said and Kamski shook his head. He did a few more swipes and the glass panel retracted back into the wall. A rush of fresh air greeted you and suddenly, breathing was easier.
Kamski took a small step forward. The android didn’t move, his eyes still low. His hands were shaking. “You’re not broken,” Kamski said. “When we worked on your brain to transfer it to this form, it had been a few days after your death. The time resulted in some memory loss,” he explained. Something dark and heavy planted itself in your chest at that, and you reached up to place a hand on your head. Brain damage. You had brain damage.
“Does that mean I won’t remember everything?” you asked before pausing. “
Ever?
”
The android’s brown eyes moved up now to Kamski, who was playing with his fingers. It was a movement to help think. You could almost see the gears turning in his head. “Not necessarily,” he said and you perked up. The android did too, eyes wider and hopeful. His body language was less tense as Kamski elaborated.
“I thought there was brain damage,” you said and Kamki shot you a stern look.
“There
is,”
he said. You didn’t understand but the android beside him seemed to. His lips parted and those eyes became lighter. “Based on the scans, there is a chance that memories will come back with time. It just takes time, rest and help,” he said and your breath caught.
There was a chance for that fuzziness to fade. There was a chance you could know what came after your first day, how you ended up her and who these men were. There was hope.
“What’s the likelihood?” asked the android and Kamski’s lips thinned again as he crossed his arms.
“It’s not necessary about the percentage of it happening but more about-”
“What’s the
chance
?” the android hissed persistently.
Kamski didn’t meet your gaze. He didn’t meet the android’s. Instead, he sighed. “11%.”
Your hope faded.
After some more diagnostics and tests were run, you were given the okay to return to the world. But the thought of reentering it after all this time and as an android scared you. It intimidated you. What had changed? What was the same? You didn’t know - and the thought of navigating it all on your own was overwhelming.
“Will I be on my own?” you’d asked Chloe. She’d pursed her lips at that as she escorted you down some hallways to an elevator.
“Do you want to be?” she asked and you shook your head. You buried yourself deeper in the dark hoodie Kamski had given you. There was no need for having to stay warm due to you being an android, but the cotton was comforting against your skin.
“No,” you said. “Not yet. But who can I stay with? I didn't have any friends. I moved here on my own.”
Chloe paused then, and you stopped too. She had a conflicted expression on her face as she tapped her foot. It was a nervous habit. “Those men,” she began.
“The android and old man?” you asked and she nodded.
“Yes. They were your friends,” she explained and you nodded, furrowing your brow. It made sense. They’d been incredibly upset when you hadn’t recognized them. The android had even stuck around through all the tests. They really seemed to care about you.
“Would they let me stay with them?” you asked and she nodded.
“They’ve been waiting for-” she stopped, cutting herself off before continuing. You tilted your head. You noticed her withholding information, but didn’t question it. “They’ve been waiting ever since the project began. They’ve missed you. I’m sure they’d help you,” she said. You smiled at that.
Maybe you could get to know them. Maybe being around them would help stir some memories. Kamski had given a low chance of your memories returning, but you couldn’t help but still feel some hope. It was light and fluttery in your stomach, similar to what you’d felt when in the void. But this time it relied on chance. In the void, you knew for certain something more would come.
“Can you ask them?” you asked Chloe and she nodded before resuming her walk to the elevator.
“Of course.”
That was how you ended up in an old, beat down car. There was no music playing as it drove through Detroit, Hank driving and the android in the passenger seat. You were in the back, eagerly watching the sights go by. It was spring but the darkness of winter still clung to the earth. The trees were bare and old, their naked arms reaching for the soft blue sky. The grass was yellow and dead and you wondered what month it was.
A quick scan revealed it was near the end of April - April 21st to be exact. Kamski ad said you died. When? Did you even want to know?
Your confliction must have shown on your face because the old man, Hank, spoke. “So,” he began awkwardly. The android looked to you now. You still didn’t know his name. You simply knew he was an RK800 android. “What music do you like?” Hank asked.
You frowned. You didn’t really listen to music except when you had a drink. But you didn’t remember drinking that often.
“I like older music,” you finally said. You smiled fondly at the memories of old classics from the 2010s playing as you and your girlfriend drove. She was obsessed with some band called Fall Out Boy.
Hank grunted. “Only got metal. Sorry.” That awkward silence fell back over the car, and you watched Hank and the android stare straight ahead. Neither of them moved. They were stiff and tense, an air of loneliness between them despite being together. You frowned. Chloe had mentioned they cared about you. Clearly they did if they decided to take care of you.
The thought of having to be taken care of despite being an adult baffled you, but you knew it was necessary. You died. And now, against all odds, you were alive.
“So you two will take care of me?” you asked now. Chloe had mentioned it but had never gone into too much detail. You think they didn’t want to overwhelm you with too much information. Kamski had mentioned stopping by in the near future to check on you.
“Yep, seems that way,” Hank grunted. The android was silent, not even looking over to his friend. That made you bite your lip. Who was he? Why had he been so focused on you back at the Project’s headquarters?
You leaned forward. You felt Hanks eyes on you as you spoke. “What’s your name?” you asked the android. He finally moved, turning his attention to you. His eyes were sad and pained, but he still managed a soft smile.
“My name’s Connor,” he said. You returned his smile with one of your own. But something bothered you. The way he looked at you as though you were his whole world tugged at something buried deep within you. Why did he look at you in such a way? Why couldn’t he look away now that he’d caught your eye?
He was so familiar. His soft face and warm eyes were so
familiar
. The memories flickered under your touch. But each time you went to grab and hold them tight, they disappeared back into the fuzzy, murky water.
“Are you my friends?” you asked. Connor’s smile dropped for a moment before he forced it back, nodding.
“Yes. Hank and I worked with you,” he explained. You pursed your lips.
“That makes sense…” You trailed off, gazing being drawn back to the windows. You were entering residential areas now. Families were walking with one another, some old and some young. Among the numbers were androids. Your heart fluttered at the sight.
Androids were considered equal then… That explained why you hadn’t been given some model number or job. The news made you happy.
Hank grumbled up front. “I need to stop at my house real quick to pick up some clothes,” he said. He looked over to Connor, brow arched. “You need anything?” he asked and the android straightened in his seat.
“No,” he said. He shook his head. “My stuff is already prepared.”
Hank had a solemn look on his face as he rubbed at his beard. Something unspoken was exchanged between them in a quiet moment. It was fragile and heavy, crushing even. Your hands drifted off the car window.
No fingerprint was left upon the glass.
The street that lead to Hank’s house felt familiar. As you watched Hank turn off the ignition and Connor step out, you couldn’t help but feel as though you’d been there before.
“Wait here,” Hank said and you nodded. He shut his door and shuffled up to his house, Connor not far behind. You watched them as they moved, something stirring within you.
You’d been here before. You’d been here many times. You could almost taste the memories as they danced across your lips, but they were quick and fleeting.
So all you did was sit there and wait. You were good at that. You’d waited in the void for however long you’d been dead. But now you were alive. And now you were curious.
Who was Hank? Your scans revealed he was a Lieutenant at the Detroit Police Department, which explain how and why you met him. He was a coworker. He also had a long disciplinary record that coincidentally had stopped about a year and a half ago.
This lined up with reports on Connor joining the forces in November of 2038. He’d apparently assisted in the deviant investigation before becoming a deviant himself. Apparently his help in the revolution was essential to android rights.
Hank and Connor were obviously close. You could tell Connor cared for the old man. He also cared for you. Your fingers twitched. Coworkers…. No, they were more than that to you.
A sharp pain rung in your head and you winced, pressing a hand against your skin. It throbbed in your skull for a moment before dissolving into a dull ache.
Kamski had mentioned you needed to rest for memories to come back. Pushing yourself and memories could possibly be more damaging than not trying at all.
Huffing, you dropped your hand and looked around. Fine. If you couldn’t push yourself to remember, you’d just look around for hints. You surely had a few minutes before Hank and Connor got back. As you leaned forward to look at the front of the car, you opened up the small glovebox. Inside was random junk and you pushed aside wrappers, candies and even beer caps. You thought it was a bust until you found a picture. It was tattered around the edges, but a quick glance revealed it wasn’t old. The picture quality was modern. The edges were worn which indicated that it was handled frequently.
You frowned as you looked at the picture. It was a picture of a group of people in what looked like a bar. Their faces were familiar and as you inspected it further, you found yourself in the picture. You were in the middle, a large smile plastered on your face. Hank was off to the side, a small smirk on his features. Beside you was what your system recognized as Markus, the leader of the android movement, and his friends. You weren’t too focused on them however.
Instead, your attention was solely on the android beside you in the picture. Connor was next to you, eyes focused solely on you with a soft smile curling his lips. He looked so...happy. Your heart thudded at the sight and your ears rung, that pain returning. You winced, pressing a palm to your temple. The ringing only grew in volume.
Snow… You remembered snow. The way it melted on your flush skin. The way it stuck to brown strands as he spoke to you. His words were so sweet. You felt intoxicated just listening to them.
I feel something different for you.
The soft glow of lamp lights illuminated the quiet street. It was peaceful. It was perfect. You were happy.
You make me
want
.
His fingers were soft. He was warm. He was…
You let out a sharp scream and kicked out, the pain overwhelming. All you could see was the red of a car. All you could smell was the snow. All you could hear was ringing and screaming and shattering of glass and-
You needed to get out of the car. It was closing in on you. You couldn’t breathe. You kicked again and your foot went through something. Blinking past the tears and snow you moved forward, hand wrapping around the door handle. You pulled and it opened, letting you spill out onto the road.
Bright headlights. The sound of a horn honking. Screaming, oh god, the screaming. Was it you? It was you as you rolled. Ringing, screaming, honking, creaking and-
Something hit you. It was harsh and unforgiving as it collided with your face. Sparks of pain rushed up your head, knocking you out of the past snow and screams. You reached up and blinked away the pain, seeing the terrified faces of Hank and Connor. You realized you’d rolled out of the car and onto plot of grass between the sidewalk and road. Connor was leaning over you, hands firm but not harsh on your shoulders. His LED was yellow.
“(Y/N)?” he asked, voice soft. You looked at him, still trembling. It was hard to breathe. What had just happened? What were those images, those smells? “Are you okay?” he asked.
You were hyperventilating. Your systems were going haywire, warning you of high stress levels. But you couldn’t stop. You couldn’t stop the fear as you saw those familiar brown strands, heard that familiar voice… With a cry, you pushed Connor off of you and scrambled to your feet.
He stumbled back, an expression of hurt and pain on his face as you backed up. Your hands were raised as both Hank and Connor watched you. “Stay away,” you gasped. “Stay away.”
Connor looked as though he wanted to speak. So did Hank. But you didn’t let them.
Still hearing that horn and smelling that snow, you scrambled to your feet and took off down the road. You didn’t care where you went - as long you were somewhere away from that fear.
There were shouts after you but you couldn’t hear. There was simply the ringing. There was simply the horn. There was simply too much.
So you ran.
You weren’t sure how long you wandered. All you knew was that in this body, it was difficult to tire. You found yourself running for what seemed as though it were hours and hours, finding old trails of Detroit with ease. You wondered if you’d toured the city a lot in your time as a detective.
You wondered what the horn in your nightmares was.
You wondered, you wondered, you wondered…
And so you ran until you could wonder no more.
Your systems said that you’d run fifteen miles in roughly an hour. They also told you your stress levels were in critical regions and you needed to rest. You only listened once you found yourself standing outside your apartment. You hadn’t even intended to come here. But your home seemed to pull upon your soul, leading you here. You approached it with a tentative look, breath catching.
Something tangled in your throat began to unwind as you walked up the stairs to your door. Your fingers trailed over the railings, peeling and chipped. Goosebumps pricked your skin as you got to the top, that old door now in front of you.
Your hand was on the knob and you twisted it. The door creaked open and before you was your apartment.
It was tidy and clean. The blanket you’d bought from Target was folded on your old couch, the one you’d gotten from IKEA. You remembered spending hours making that damn thing. You smiled at the memory, stepping in and closing the door behind you. It clicked shut and finally - you were home.
Smiling still, you approached your kitchen. You opened the cabinet where your glasses were and pulled out the fanciest one. Setting it down on the counter, you opened your wine rack, pulling out a bottle. You popped the cork and sniffed the wine before pouring it into the glass.
You flicked on the TV. You curled up on your couch. And, entirely alone, you drank your wine. And you were fine.
You were fine.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
It pains me to have to make this announcement: but it's been building for well over a month now.I've fallen out of love for Detroit: Become Human. I had great plans for this story, and came up with genuinely an amazing plot. I love the reader's character and the development was great. I am truly proud of this story/series and thankful for you all who have supported me. But because of my loss of love- I'm canceling the story. Again, I can reveal the planned plot for the fic but I have no intentions of continuing it.It really disheartens me to make this announcement. I kept trying to write and fall back in love with DBH for weeks. I even gave my beta the task of reminding me to write it every week and meet a 1,000-word goal. But the more and more I tried, the worse and worse my writing got. I'd rather have the story end with decent writing than shove awful chapters into your faces.The final chapter, Chapter Three, will be released as planned on October 30th. If you all wish, I can release a final/separate chapter that addresses where the story was going to go. This way, there can be some minimal closure for everyone involved. I don't wanna pull a Telltale Games on ya'll. Please comment if you'd like this to happen.Again - I'm terribly sorry for this. I struggled with making this choice because I felt as though you all deserved it. I was planning to force myself to write 30 chapters, but I knew I couldn't do it. Now, I will be focusing on my other story - one that I'm very passionate about. It's called Meliorism and if you enjoy my writing or The Last of Us, feel free to check it out.Thank you all so much for your support. You all mean so much to me. I couldn't have gotten this far without each and every one of you.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Kamski had explained to you that you could eat, drink and sleep as compared to other androids who didn’t have to. The functions weren’t necessary for you either. If you needed to, you could switch off the functions you didn’t want. But you wanted to sleep. You wanted to eat. You wanted to drink.
You wanted to feel human.
So, after a glass of wine, you crawled into your covers. They were folded neatly with care, and you savored the smell of home as you drifted off. Everything would be okay now that you were home.
Everything would be fine.
You were driving a car - a bright red, small car. A song was playing. It was cheerful and peppy, and you found yourself singing the song. The lyrics flowed perfectly. They rolled off your tongue as you bopped your head, moving with the beat. Your hand hit the wheel in tune.
There was a firm voice beside you. It tuned in every now and then, singing along flatly. You looked over to see a fuzzy figure, tall and lean and vaguely familiar. The figure frequently looked over and you could faintly make out a smile. They looked at you like the world. You wanted to reach over and take their hand. You wanted to intertwine your fingers.
But they needed time.
So you sang instead.
Everything was alright. Everything was fine.
Then there was a horn. It was loud. It was ear splitting. You winced as you looked over, blinding by headlights. And they were coming right at you.
No longer did you hear that tune. No longer did you see that smile. Instead, you heard the crash and you saw black. Then you felt pain. So much pain. It struck you in the chest and held you tight in its grip. It burned. It blistered. You gasped and suddenly you could not breathe.
There were crashes and shrapnel flying. There were screams and you realized it was from you. The car rolled, your body being tugged back and forth yet ever in place. Something was in your chest. Something and you couldn’t move it. You couldn’t escape from it.
The car stopped moving. The car stopped rolling. It groaned as it came to a stop and you opened your eyes. That fuzzy figure was in front of you now. The smile was gone. Tears glistened on their face as they reached towards you, fingers warm.
Someone was screaming.
Hold on
. They said.
Hold on a little longer.
So you held onto their hand. You held it tight.
You were bleeding. You were dying.
There was screaming.
You were dead.
There was screaming. In your ear. And you were shaking. No, someone was shaking you.
Your eyes snapped open and Connor was there. He was above you, a look of pure terror on his face. His LED was a bright red as he stared down at you.
What… Why was he here? Anger exploded in your chest as you pushed him off of you, sitting up quickly. “Get away!” you hissed, and Connor stumbled back. His hands were raised as he looked to you with wide eyes, concern evident. You reached up and lay a hand against your chest, probing at where that burning pain had been.
To your relief, there was nothing there. There was no pain. There was nothing in your chest. There was no bleeding, there was no dying…
You heaved as you sat in your bed, blankets scattered about. Sweat stained your skin. Your systems were going haywire as you looked around, fear in your throat.
What had you just dreamed? What had you just remembered? What had you just
relived?
“(Y/N)?” Connor asked softly, and you looked back to him. You could feel yourself shaking as you stood. Your legs were wobbly as you splayed a hand over your chest. Connor watched, eyes confused.
“I died,” you gasped. Your fingers dug in tight. You could feel your skin breaking. “I died in a car crash.”
Connor’s face went pale as his jaw dropped, stumbling back slightly. He looked upset. He looked heartbroken. You wheezed as you ripped off your shirt, deactivating your skin. You jabbed a finger into where that shrapnel had been embedded - where it had punctured your lungs and ended your life. “I was killed.”
It sounded so lost. It sounded so sad.
You
sounded so sad.
You
were so lost. You’d woken up from death. You’d woken in a new body, in a new perspective. You no longer were human. You were an android after being killed.
The world felt tight. It felt overbearing. It was closing in. You couldn’t breathe - just like when you’d died. There was ringing in your ear as you pushed past Connor and into your living room. You needed to get out.
The last thing you expected was to see a large dog and Hank on your couch. You paused as you gaped at the sight, the dog lazily leaning back to look at you. Hank was snoring loudly as the TV’s news played in the background. You shook your head, a sharp pain bouncing in the walls of your brain.
The dog was familiar. This scene of Hank on the couch was familiar. The ringing grew louder and you let out a yell, grabbing at your ears. The dog started barking at the sight, jumping off the couch. Hank shouted too as he fell off the couch, smacking his head on the coffee table. “What’s happening?” he groaned, looking back. At the sight of you in your bare skin, he scrambled to his feet. “(Y/N)?” he asked, looking concerned. “Are you alright?”
You shook your head, feeling something wet drip down your face. Trembling, you reached up and wiped away at it. Your fingers came back stained with tears and you looked up.
There you stood in the middle of your apartment, without your skin or shirt. There you stood, shuddering from grief and loss - loss of your own life, of your future and past. Everything had been taken from you - the memories of what came after your first day at DPD, the face of the fuzzy figure in the car and this dog…
Everything had been taken from you in one crash.
And here you stood - like a ghost. But unlike ghosts, you had no grave.
Except the road… Except the crash site. Your heart fluttered as you remembered the road you’d driven and died upon. That was your grave. That was where you had left this world.
You knew where you needed to go. You knew where you had to run to.
Connor reached for you. Hank did too.
You reached for the door, and left them behind once more.
The night was old. The moon hung clearly in the sky as the cold, spring air sprained you throat. You could count the scars if you wished. Your systems easily could. But you’d turned them all off. You didn’t want your systems screaming at you. You didn’t want to analyze everything.
You simply just wanted to run, and so you ran.
There were so many thoughts in your head. There were so many feelings in your chest. And, with all your wisdom after experiencing death and becoming an android, you still had no idea what to do with
any
of them.
What did you do? Where did you go? Why were you out here? How long would you keep running? What were you running from - yourself, your past or your future? Were you running from it all?
You didn’t know. You didn’t know except
where
you had to go. The nightmare you’d had never did directly say where you had died but you knew it. You knew it in your bones just like you knew your name. There were no questions in that regard.
It wasn’t that far. It was a few miles from a Marriott that you remembered having to go to for an unknown reason. You didn’t even need to run the address through your systems. Even if you did, you wouldn’t.
It didn’t take you long to reach the road. You weren’t able to turn off how fast you could run now. As you came across it, you slowed. Your heart thudded in your ears as you paused. Straight ahead was an intersection, a traffic light hanging above it. You watched it flick between green, yellow and red. It’d been green for you when you’d been here last.
And that
asshole
had run a red light to hit you.
Shaking, you approached the stoplight. The air was nipping at your skin, still your base and bare The road was dry and harsh against your feet but you didn’t fear it hurting you. You’d survived death. You could survive a bare road.
As you got closer to the spot, you spotted skid marks on the ground. You frowned. They were deep and harsh. It’d take repaving to get rid of them. The marks belonged to the truck that had hit you. Your toes touched the skids marks and you closed your eyes, taking in a loud and trembling breath.
This was where the truck had hit you. This was where the car had flipped and shrapnel had impaled you. It had cut into your lungs, making them collapse. You had bled. You had died.
The fucker who’d driven the car died as well. Apparently he’d been drunk.
You gathered spit into your mouth and spat it out on the marks. You hoped he rotted in hell. You wondered if you would’ve met him there - if you hadn’t been brought back, anyways.
This wasn’t what you were most interesting though. You weren’t interested in the point of impact. What you were interested was your final resting place - the ditch. Swallowing roughly, you turned.
The grass was growing slowly, a vibrant green. There were some flowers growing as well. There were little white buds and you tilted a head as something else white was beyond them. It was dark but as you narrowed your eyes, you could make out the wooden, white shape of a cross. You furrowed your brow. Your hands tightened into fists at your side. There was writing on the cross.
(F/N) (L/N)
(Birth Year - November 19, 2038)
Your heart stuttered. You felt bile rise in your throat. You stumbled back, suddenly struggling to breathe. If your systems were online, there’d be warnings as panic enveloped your body. This was it.
This was where you died over a year ago. This is where that drunk bastard had taken your life - where he’d taken all your memories, your entire future. This was where he’d taken
you.
And now you were alive, but you weren’t the same. You weren’t (Y/N).
You were the first of your kind. You were lost, you were devastated, fuck you were grieving. And overall - you were angry. You were furious. So much had been taken from you after you’d fought so hard for it all. You’d spent so much time studying in college. You’d spent so much time working to become a detective. And you’d lost it all and more.
So you kicked. You kicked the ground, wishing you could shatter it.
So you screamed. You screamed as loud as you could, savoring the echoes of it spreading through the world.
So you cried. You sobbed as you dropped to your knees, hanging your head as the tears dropped onto the scorched ground.
And finally, you grieved. You grieved for yourself, for your friends, for your family...for all those who had lost something that day.
Standing, you slowly walked down into the ditch. You slid through the dirt, but it did not stick. You curled in the grass, yet you weren’t cold. You rest your head on the cross, and you never felt so alone.
Here you had taken your last breath. Here was where you took your first.
You were unsure of how long you had lay there. There was no concept of time as you breathed and lived near upon your cross. The moon hung high and low, the stars lost their glow and you thought.
There was little that could pull you out of your mind. The passings of cars did not stir you. The thunder as rain began to pelt did not move you. Very little could make you move. But Connor was one that could.
You hadn’t anticipated he would come here, but you weren’t surprised. He and Hank were clearly insistent on taking care of you. Apparently no matter how long and far you ran, Connor would follow.
This time, he didn’t touch you. He didn’t shake you. Instead he sat beside you with enough distance to not overwhelm you. His skin and hair was wet, a feeling of forlorn understanding upon his expression. His LED was both yellow and blue.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. You didn’t reply. The silence was filled with only rain. His throat bobbed as he swallowed. “I didn’t mean for you to find out this way.”
There was no manual on how to tell the woman who died in a car crash only to be resurrected as an android with no memories about how she died. You didn’t blame him. He was already doing so much for you.
“I died,” you said softly. “I
died.
I was killed.”
Connor nodded. His eyes dropped to the cross. “I know,” he hummed. “I know.”
“But here I am.” You gave a bitter laugh. You reached up and traced the letters engraved into the cross. “Here I am alive.”
“I know.”
“I don’t know what to do,” you admitted, voice breaking. You felt your tears returned. That hot and blistering sadness scorched your veins as you choked on a sob. “I don’t know what to do now.”
Hesitantly, you saw Connor reach for you. You felt his fingers ghost over your shoulder, wanting to hold you. But he stopped. His hand hovered over you for a breathless moment before he withdrew it. “We’ll figure it out,” he whispered.
“We?” you asked.
He hummed in agreement. “Yes… You, Hank and me. And Sumo. He missed-liked you,” he said and you caught what he meant. That was why the dog had perked up at you. He remembered you. Something rolled in your stomach.
All these people cared about you so much. All these people wanted to help you. There was a reason you were brought back. You just had to figure it out. You just had to take all these thoughts and analyze them.
But the answers no longer lied in your grave. You were alive and now the answers were beyond this ditch. So, with a deep breath, you rose to your feet. Connor watched you, eyes curious as you pushed back your hair.
“There has to be a reason I died,” you said and Connor furrowed his brow. You shook your head. “There’s a reason. And I can find it but it’s not here. Take me home,” you said. “I’m no longer dead.”
He rose gracefully, an unreadable yet bright look upon his face as he looked to you. His eyes were wide and light, the corners of his lips twitching. “Let’s go home,” he murmured.
You nodded. “Let’s go home.”