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They’d been friends for a long time, Amanda and Winona. Once, years ago, they’d lived across the street from each other, just girls then. But then Winona’s family moved away. Amanda had insisted they keep in touch, and somewhat to her surprise, over the years they had.When Winona married George, Amanda had been there for the wedding with the Vulcan Ambassador she had been seeing at the time.Amanda smiled faintly at the memory. Of course she had married him. Sarek. But she had just begun to think of him as her boyfriend then. Sarek hadn’t been enthusiastic about attending the wedding but he had gone along with her, just the same. It was then that Amanda realized maybe Sarek was invested in her too.The night before the wedding, they’d joked together, as friends sometimes do, about one day, when they both had children, they should get married. Winona had laughed and said maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea anyway.When her son, George Samuel Kirk was born, Winona sent a message to Amanda that she needed to hurry up and have her child so they could marry them. Amanda had laughed. And forgotten it by the time Spock came along.Later, of course, disaster had struck Winona and George Kirk and George had been killed on the day his wife had given birth to their second son, James Tiberius Kirk.When things seemed to settle down for Winona, Amanda had asked Sarek if it would be okay to invite Winona and her sons to live with them on Vulcan. They had such a big house and it was only her, Sarek and their son, Spock.She was half surprised when Sarek agreed.By the time they could make all the needed arrangements, the baby, James, or Winona said they called him Jim, was already three, George Samuel, or as Winona called him, Sam, was seven, Spock was six.“Will I have to share my room, Mother?” Spock asked as the Kirks arrived by shuttle.Amanda and Spock had gone to meet them. Sarek had been busy, he nearly always was, and so it had been left to them to greet the new residents of the house.Winona had been reluctant at first. She’d met a new man, named Frank, that she had liked, that she had thought could bring stability into their family, and they could stay in Iowa, where they lived. But then she walked in on Frank striking Sam and that was the end of that.They were here.“No, Spock. Sam and Jim will each have their own room. Your father has given up his library so that they have their own privacy.”“I am not certain I will like them.”Amanda smiled down at him. “Why not?”He thought about it. “I am not certain I like anyone other than you and Father.”She laughed. “You will.” A memory flashed. “Maybe one day you will even marry one of them.”“They are not Vulcans.”“True. But your father married a human,” she reminded him with a wink. “Once, when Mrs. Kirk and I were young, we promised our children would marry.”“Illogical.”“Perhaps.” She saw blonde hair coming down the shuttle and knew it had to be them. “Here they come.”Sure enough, Winona stepped down from the ramp, holding three year old Jim in her arms, against one hip, looking frazzled, and holding the hand of Sam, who looked very annoyed.All of them had golden hair and blue eyes. They made a beautiful and exotic sight on Vulcan.“Amanda, thank God.” She shifted Jim and then thrust him at Amanda. “Can you hold the baby?”Amanda took little Jim, who stared at her with wide blue eyes. “Hello little one.”His bottom lip began to tremble.Winona had bent down and was now speaking in a low tone to Sam, who looked even more annoyed and had turned red.Spock looked up at the boy Amanda was holding. “He is going to cry.”“Oh, no, he—”Jim’s eyes welled up with tears and suddenly he began to scream cry, twisting and turning in her arms to get down.“Oh dear. Jim, it’s all right. I won’t hurt you,” Amanda said, trying to reassure the frantic child. She looked at Winona hopelessly.“I’m so sorry. He doesn’t do well with strangers.” Winona took him back from Amanda and set him down on the ground. “You know you’re big now, you can walk on your own. You’re getting too heavy. Now calm down. This is Amanda and her son, Spock. We’re going to live with them.”Jim’s screaming had stopped, but tears still streamed down his face and he was hiccupping.“Now, Sam—”Winona turned around and Amanda noticed the boy was gone at the same time Winona did.“Sam! Oh, damn, not again. Sam! Mommy is not happy.” Winona took off leaving Jim with Amanda and Spock as she ran after he son, who had headed back towards the shuttle.Spock tugged on Amanda’s blouse.She looked down at him.“I do not wish to marry either of them.”****Spock eyed the sniveling human boy with something close to horror, though he would hardly admit to it. He was rather surprised Father had agreed to this arrangement. He could only imagine that Sarek had agreed sight unseen.Mother turned to Spock and she appeared to be torn between laughter and looking concerned. It was an odd combination.“Spock, can you stay here with Jim for just one moment? I’m going to help with finding Sam.”“Of course, Mother.”Spock appreciated that Mother trusted him to care for the younger child and to stay where he was told. Something apparently Sam Kirk was incapable of. He turned to Jim as Mother hurried away.“It is all right. You will be safe here with me.”Jim, blue eyes wide and wet, stared at Spock.“Are you capable of speaking?” Spock would think so. The boy appeared to be about three human years old.“Y-yeah.”Spock felt some relief. He put out his hand toward the boy, who shrank back instantly. “Take my hand.”“Why?”“Because it will be easier to keep track of you if I have a hold of you,” Spock explained patiently. “Your mother went to find your brother.”Jim glanced in the direction Sam had run, his mother and Spock’s mother after him. “He’s scared.”“Vulcans will not hurt him.”Jim glanced back at Spock and bit his lip.“I am Spock.”Jim nodded. “I know. Mama told me.”Spock grabbed Jim’s hand before he could move away again. There was a small tug when Jim attempted to extract himself, but with a little sigh, Jim gave up, and Spock held on.Spock was relieved when shortly after that, Mother and Mrs. Kirk returned, with Sam Kirk, in hand. His face was blotched red and his eyes bloodshot as though he, too, had been crying.“Here we are, Spock,” Mother said cheerfully. “We just need to collect their things from the cargo area and we can head home.”Mrs. Kirk smiled at Spock. “Here. I can take Jim now.”“I have him,” Spock assured her. It was his opinion she had enough to deal with her other son.“Oh.” She looked uncertain, but then with a shrug, she turned away and followed after Mother, grabbing onto Sam as she went.Spock led Jim behind them.****He ended up holding Jim’s hand until they left the shuttle bay and headed through the city streets toward home. Once he let go, Jim scrambled up beside Sam, who after looking at his brother, took over holding Jim’s hand for the rest of the trip.“The heat can be unbearable if you aren’t used to it,” Mother was saying to Mrs. Kirk.“Yes, it is rather extreme. But I did come equipped with the tri-ox compound shots like you recommended. Jim has a bit of asthma so he worries me with the atmosphere.”“We’ll all keep a close eye on him,” Mother assured her. “And here is home.”They lived in a house just outside the city of ShiKahr. A dwelling made mostly of stones that kept the house relatively cool. There were two stories and most of the bedrooms were on the second floor.“Why don’t I show you where your rooms are?” Mother said. “We set up a separate room for Jim but if you’d rather have him in with you, Winona, or with Sam, at least for now, we can do that.”“I don’t want him in with me,” Sam protested. “He whines too much.”“George Samuel,” Mrs. Kirk said sternly.“Well, he does. He’s still such a baby.”Spock noticed Jim looked upset again, his little bottom lip trembling, and for a reason he couldn’t even fathom himself, he opened his mouth to tell them that Jim could stay in his room.“That’s all right,” Mrs. Kirk said. “Jim can stay with me until he’s old enough to stay by himself.”“I can stay by myself, Mama,” Jim bravely insisted.“Oh, honey,” she said with an indulgent smile. “We’ll see.”They all went up the stairs and Spock decided not to go with them. He was not at all sure he liked any of them. But he supposed he would at least have to try to tolerate them. Father had said so. And if it made Mother happy, then Spock would do it.****“Is that a monster?”Spock looked up from where he was weeding in Mother’s garden to see that Jim had come out and was now standing only a few feet away pointing to I-Chaya. The sehlat was minding his own business. Which was more than Spock could say for the human boy.Jim was dressed in shorts and what humans called a tank top. His feet were bare. In his hands he clutched a sticky looking piece of red and blue candy. All over his face was traces of this same sticky substance.“He is a sehlat,” Spock replied, glancing briefly at I-Chaya, who lay quietly beside him.“Is a seeeeh-lot a monster?’“Sehlat. No, he is an animal. His name is I-Chaya.”Jim stared at I-Chaya. “Sharp teeth.”“Fangs, yes. That is a common feature of his species.”Jim scrunched up his face. “You talk funny.”“Interesting as I had the same thought regarding you.” Spock relented slightly when he said, “I-Chaya will not harm you. Not unless I tell him to.”“Is he a doggy?”Spock withheld a sigh. “No, a sehlat. We have no canines on Vulcan unless someone comes to our planet already having one.”“Oh. Uh. Okay.” Jim suddenly plopped down onto the ground next to Spock. “Mama wouldn’t let me have a doggy.”Understandable, Spock though, but he did not say so.“Whatcha doing?”“I am weeding Mother’s garden.”“What is weeding?”“Pulling out these little plants that do not belong. Mother didn’t plant them, they grew on their own.”Jim nodded though Spock was unsure whether the boy understood or not. He held out his sticky candy toward Spock. “Want a taste?”“No.”“Tastes like sterrberries and booberries.”Spock had never heard of either but he suspected whatever they were, he would not like them.Jim stuck his hand out toward a weed. Spock pushed his hand away.“No, Jim.”“Help!”“You’re hands are sticky and messy.” Spock eyed him. “Go wash your hands with soap and water and then you can help.”The blue eyes narrowed at him and he stuck out his bottom lip, which Spock decided to ignore. Jim put the remainder of his candy in his mouth and got up from the ground and ran into the house.Spock suspected he would not see the boy again because as far as he knew human boys Jim’s age became quickly distracted and he’d be on to something else, so when Jim came trundling out later, Spock was surprised.Jim stuck his hands out, triumphantly. “Washed!”“Very well. You can help.”Jim plopped down hard on the ground but if it hurt, the boy didn’t show it. He reached toward a plant.“No! That’s not a weed. Only pull the ones that look like this.” Spock demonstrated. “Show me first before you pull it.”“’Kay.”“Where is your brother?” Spock asked after a moment.“In room. He don’t like it.”“Sam does not like Vulcan?”Jim nodded. “He wanted to stay,”“In…Riverside?” Spock supplied when he remembered where Mother said they were from.‘Yeah.” Jim bit his lip. “He got hit.”“By who?”“Mama’s friend. Bad man.”“Yes,” Spock agreed. He hesitated, watching Jim. “Did the bad man hit you too, Jim?”“No,” Jim said fiercely. “I punch him.”Spock arched a brow. “You hit him?”Jim smiled. “No. But if he tried, I punch him.”For some reason, Spock believed him. And for some other odd reason, he was glad that Mrs. Kirk’s friend had not hit Jim. He didn’t like the idea of Jim being hurt. Yes, he was a pest, but in spite of that, Spock had begun to like him.“He’s not Mamma’s friend anymore.”“I would hope not.”Jim was watching I-Chaya instead of pulling weeds. “I-Chay-yay friend?”“I-Chaya, Jim. Yes, he is my companion.”Jim made a face. “Com-com…pannnyannn.”“Close. You will get it some day. Pull that weed.”Jim gave him such a sunny smile that Spock was nearly tempted to smile back. He did not of course.The boy pulled out a huge weed, dirt dangling from it. He held it up. “Yay!”Spock did roll his eyes. Jim was a pest. But Spock liked him.****Over the next few weeks it became a pattern that wherever Spock went, Jim would soon appear. Spock began to realize that Jim was following him. From what Spock could surmise, Jim’s older brother pretty much ignored the younger boy and, therefore, Jim had latched onto Spock.The odd thing was that Spock began to find it less and less irritating. Most times when he and I-Chaya would go for a walk, Spock and the sehlat would wait at the end of the path for Jim to catch up to them. The first time Jim had turned a very bright red, Spock had asked Jim’s mother about sun block, which he had been given to apply to Jim’s face. It had helped.Another time, Jim had trouble breathing, and so Spock had gone to the adults for medicines to help Jim breathe. The area was safe for them, so most of the time no one minded that the boys wandered off by themselves, especially if I-Chaya accompanied them.As the weeks passed, the boys became inseparable. Eventually Spock would be going to school, as would Sam, when the new semester began, whereas Jim was not yet old enough to attend.Spock attempted to explain this to the little boy.“You must stay home.”“No,” Jim said fiercely. “I go with you.”“You cannot. You are too small.”“Am not.” Jim narrowed his eyes at Spock. “Brothers!”Spock sighed internally. “Yes, Jim. We are like brothers. But this is something I must do without you. You will attend school when you are old enough. Right now it is only Sam and myself going.”Jim stuck his lip out. “Not fair.”“Perhaps not but it is what it is. When we are bonded we will go everywhere together,” Spock assured him.For Spock had decided that of the two brothers, it was definitely Jim he chose to be bonded with. He intended to advise him mother of this. But first he decided he should tell Jim. He was not sure the boy would fully understand.Jim bit his lip. “Bond?”“Yes. We will be…married. That is what humans call it.”“Too little.”“Yes, now, but in the future. Our mothers made an arrangement before we were born.”Jim made a face but he nodded. “Okay.”With that taken care of, Spock turned to the studies he would need to have done in preparation for the school year.Jim picked up a toy space ship and began to play with it, making space noises, or what Jim thought were space noises.“I am going to study so you must be quiet, Jim, or go elsewhere.”Jim watched Spock quietly for a moment or two but after a few minutes he rose from the floor with his toy and ran off, making the noises, and leaving Spock in peace.****“Mother, I have made my choice.”Mother looked at Spock quizzically as she prepared a meal in the kitchen. “What choice would that be, Spock?”“Between Sam and Jim. I will bond with Jim.”Her hand came up to her mouth and then she shook her head. She took his hand. “Come here, darling.” She led him over to the dining room table and chairs and had him sit. She smiled at him. “Spock, you and Jim won’t bond.”Spock furrowed his brows. “I am not allowed to choose between them?”“No. That isn’t what I meant. When Winona Kirk and I talked about that, Spock, it was just in fun. We were joking. Humans do that.” She squeezed his hands. “Your father has already chosen someone for you to bond with when it is time. When you are seven, we will have the preliminary ceremony.”“Who has my father chosen?”“The daughter of one of his associates,” Mother explained. “Of similar age to you. Her names is T’Pring.”“T’Pring,” he said faintly.“Yes. Your father would never allow me to arrange for you to bond with a human,” she said regretfully.“But you are human.”“Yes, but we are different. Anyway, Spock, it will all be fine. T’Pring is a lovely choice.”Spock nodded, for it would not be logical to argue. His parents knew what was best for him, he was certain.But now he would have to tell Jim that they would not bond after all. He did not look forward to it. Of course he wasn’t sure Jim had even understood what he said, so, perhaps, if Spock did not mention it again, he would not have to tell Jim it was off.
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Jim was bored. There was no one to play with or even follow around now that Spock and Sam had to go off to school.School was stupid, Jim was sure. Who wanted to go around with their face in books all day anyway? Not to mention it meant Spock and Sam were gone for hours and hours.He didn’t care that much about Sam because his brother didn’t talk to him anyway and once even shoved him so that Jim fell down. It hurt too and Jim had cried until Sam told him that he could have Sam’s food at dinner if he would just be quiet.Mama and Mrs. Amanda were nice enough, Jim liked them, especially Mama, but they wouldn’t play with him or let him do anything but sit nice and have tea and little sandwiches with them. Cookies, too if he was lucky.Jim looked for Spock to come home but whenever he did, Spock would go into his room to ‘study’ he would tell Jim, and he never let Jim into the room with him.Once Jim noticed Spock’s lip was cut but Spock wouldn’t tell Jim why.“Jim, honey, stay still, you’re making Mama crazy.”Jim stopped kicking his feet in the chair next to Mama and sighed. He put his hand out. “Cookie, please.”Mama absently handed him a cookie as she continued to talk to Mrs. Amanda.“The itsy-bitsy spider, Climbed up the water spout, Down came the rain and washed the spider out, Out came the sun, And dried up all the rain, And the itsy-bitsy spider, Climbed up the spout again.”“Jim, what are you doing?”“Singing.”“Well, honey, please, we’re talking here. Why don’t you go play?”Jim pouted. “Spock won’t play with me.”“He’s busy, Jim. Go outside and find something to do.”Jim crawled down from the chair, clutching his cookie. “Will he play with me when we get married?”“What?” Mama asked.“When we get married! Will he play with me?”“I’m sure he will,” Mama said, waving her hand at him. “Now go on.”“You know, speaking of, Sarek has arranged for Spock to be bonded with T’Pring and—”Mrs. Amanda’s voice faded away as Jim ran to the back door and struggled to open the door.Jim heard a heavy sigh and turned to see Sam standing there.“Here let me,” Sam said. “You’re too puny.”He stepped beside Jim and slid the glass door to the side.“Thanks!”Sam followed him outside.“You gonna play with me, Sammy?”“No. I just needed some air.” Sam sat down on a chair and pulled his legs up close to his chest. “This place sucks.”“Sucks!” Jim repeated.Sam rolled his eyes. “Don’t say that in front of Mom, she won’t like it.”Jim found his space ship lying on the ground where he’d last left it and picked it up, running around, flying it.“You know you aren’t really marrying Spock.”“Sure I am.”“No, you aren’t.”“Spock says I am.”“Well, he lied then.”Jim stopped and looked at Sam. “Nuh-uh.”“The word is no. Stop being a baby, Jim. Say no.”“No.”Sam sighed. “I heard them. Spock’s going to marry a Vulcan girl. His mom said they wouldn’t bond him to a Human boy.”“Spock said.”“Well, whatever he said, Jim, it’s not true. He’s marrying a girl named T’Pring. Mom and Spock’s mom were just talking about it.”“Oh.” Jim felt sad suddenly and he didn’t like it. His eyes welled with tears.“Why don’t you finish your cookie?” Sam said. “There’s no need to cry. It’s just the way it is, Jim. We’re outsiders here.”Jim didn’t understand the word outsider. It was big and Jim should ask Sam what it meant but he had a feeling he wouldn’t like it.He took a bite of his cookie and chewed but he still felt sad and the tears had decided to fall down his cheeks. He didn’t really know what getting married meant but he did know it meant that Spock would be unable to play with him.****Spock paused in his study of his new assignment. He heard crying. He stood up and went to the window of his room to peer outside. He spotted Jim holding on to a half-eaten cookie and sobbing. He did not know if perhaps Jim had dropped his cookie and was upset or if Jim had hurt himself.With a sigh, Spock temporarily abandoned his homework in favor of checking on little Jim. He did wonder why it was left to him instead of Jim’s mother.As he made his way out of his room, Spock watched Sam coming in from outside. He narrowed his eyes. He suspected Jim’s older brother might be at fault for Jim’s distress.Spock did not much care for Sam, though he tried to be sympathetic to the fact that Sam had suffered abuse. But that did not give him the right to be mean to Jim.He opened the back door and went outside.Jim was standing in the sun, still holding his partially eaten cookie, and bawling his eyes out. His face was red and blotchy and Spock feared that if he did not get out of the sun soon, the rest of him would turn red as well.Spock walked over to the three year old boy and reached for his hand, careful not to dislodge the cookie he clutched in his other. There was a jolt when their hands touched and then a warmth that reached from his hand and all the way to his heart and then his head. Stunned, Spock dropped Jim’s hand and stepped back.Jim had stopped crying to stare at Spock. “Whatcha do?”“I…” Spock swallowed. He remembered he needed to get Jim out of the sun. “Come out of the sun, Jim. You are burning.”He reached for Jim again when the boy hesitated and the same warmth radiated from the touch. Spock did not think there was any mistake.
T’hy’la.
His mind whispered the word to him.He tugged his T’hy’la out of the sun and beneath a shaded awning.“What has upset you, T’hy’la?” Spock asked.Jim frowned. “My name is Jim.”Spock nodded. “I know. You are my T’hy’la. It is…it is Vulcan. I will explain, but for now, why are you crying?”“Sam—”“Then it was he who hurt you.”Jim’s bottom lip trembled. “He-he said we can’t get married.”“He is wrong.”“But he said you were getting married to a girl. A V-Vulcan.” His eyes were filling with tears again. “Then you won’t play with me.”“He is wrong. I cannot bond with T’Pring now.” Spock recalled that once long ago before he told Mother not to hug him anymore, that small boys, likely especially ones like Jim, might benefit from such an embrace as his Mother had given to him. He put him arms around Jim and pulled him close. That same feeling overcame him and Spock knew again there was no mistake. “You are all right, Jim,” Spock assured him, as his mother once had to him.“But—”“Shh.” Spock released the younger boy. “Finish your cookie. Your hands are sticky and crumbly.”“’kay.” Jim ate the rest of the treat in two bites. But then he had crumbs on his mouth and shirt. Spock brushed those off.“Come. We must tell Father.”“Tell him what?” Jim asked as Spock led him back into the house.“That you are my T’hy’la.”Spock saw that his mother and Jim’s were seated at the dining room table drinking tea and talking. He did not see Sam anywhere which was fine with Spock. He walked down the hallway toward his father’s study, Jim in tow. The door was closed so Spock knocked.“Come.”Spock pushed open the door and pulled Jim inside. “Father.”“Spock, what is this?”Spock felt suddenly rather nervous when faced with his father’s stare. But the information was important.“I have come to advise you that I am unable to be bonded with T’Pring next year when I am seven.”Father raised his brows. “I see. And why is that?”Spock took a deep breath. “I have found my T’hy’la.”“Your…T’hy’la. Amanda?” Father called out.Spock tried not to wince.Mother appeared at the door of Father’s study, along with Mrs. Kirk.“Spock! Jim!” Mother gasped. “You aren’t supposed to be bothering your father when he is working. I’m sorry, Sarek. I had no idea—”“Spock says he has found his T’hy’la.”“His what?” Mrs. Kirk asked.“Oh.” Mother put her hand to her chest. “But who?”Father looked at Spock.Spock pulled Jim forward. “Jim. Jim is my T’hy’la.”
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“What makes you begin to imagine that James is your t’hy’la?” Father demanded. He looked down at Jim. “He is human.”“Sarek,” Mother said, her tone sounding strange to Spock.“My wife, a t’hy’la bond is most unusual, to my knowledge no Vulcan has ever had one with a human.”“To your knowledge. And though you certainly think you know everything, you do not.”“Amanda.”Mother knelt before Spock and Jim, smiling first at Jim, who kept shifting next to Spock, then turning to smile at Spock.“Spock, sweetie, why do you think Jim is your t’hy’la?”“I felt it when we touched,” Spock tried to explain. “It was a most unusual feeling.”Father huffed. “Well, if that was all it was—”“Sarek.” Mother’s smile widened. “Spock is not known to give into frivolities. It is a small matter to have an Elder examine their minds to see if such a bond is indeed in place. Better that than to bond Spock to T’Pring inappropriately.”“Very well. I will arrange it for tomorrow. In the meantime, do try to stay out of trouble.” Father waved his hand dismissively.Mother stood and put her hands on both Spock and Jim. “Come children, you can assist Winona and me in the preparation of the evening meal.”****There was a storm that night, with severe lightening and loud thunder. It did not bother Spock, for he had learned about weather and he found the lightening quite fascinating.It did keep him awake though, standing by his window, watching the show. And that was where he stood when he heard his door opening. At first it was just a tiny crack. He turned toward it, watching.A small hand appeared.Spock barely held back a sigh. He walked over to the door and opened it to his t’hy’la.“Jim, what are you doing?”Jim stood there, his blue eyes big and stark in his face, his blond hair askew, his bottom lip trembling.“Scared.”“The storm will not harm you.”“Scared.”Spock grabbed his forearm, ignoring the bristling contact of their skin, and pulled the boy fully inside, closing the door behind him.Jim grabbed into Spock’s sleeping robe, fisting the material tightly in his tiny hands. “Mama’s door locked.”Spock did not know why it would be but adults were odd, and human adults even more so. He did think Jim staying by himself was a bit premature. But the boy had begged until his mother had given in to letting him have his own room. “And Sam?”Jim shook his head. “Said no.”“He would not let you stay with him?”“Nope.”“Very well. You can stay here just until the storm has passed.”Spock had barely gotten the words out before Jim was running for the bed.“Jim—”Jim threw himself down on Spock’s bed and got under the covers. Spock approached the bed and looked down at the boy. His eyes were closed. This time Spock did sigh.He turned around and went back to the window to watch the rest of the storm. When it was finished, he got into bed. Jim was completely asleep and Spock did not feel like forcing him to go back to his room. And so, he soon discovered that Jim was a bed hog.****Jim thought the tall Vulcan lady was really scary but Spock wouldn’t let him hold his hand as they stood before her. She looked down at them, her eyes kinda mean.He bit his lip and looked back to where Mama stood with Spock’s mama. Spock’s daddy stood on the other side of Spock. Maybe that was why Spock wouldn’t hold his hand. Spock’s daddy kept making a weird face.The Vulcan lady was speaking but Jim didn’t know the words. Mama had said there’d be Vulcan words. That was probably it.Mama told him with her hands to turn back around so Jim did and faced the lady once more.“James,” the lady said.Jim was pretty sure she meant him so he tried to show he was paying attention. “Yeah?”“I will access your mind.”Jim didn’t know what that meant but Spock was staring at him. They all were. So Jim thought he was supposed to agree. He nodded.Her hand, long and bony fingers, reach toward his face. Jim flinched but allowed her hand to rest on his cheek and then spread out. She mumbled words.It didn’t hurt, for which Jim was glad. But it was still scary.Her hand dropped from his face and she turned to Spock, saying the weird words again, and putting her hand on Spock’s face. He didn’t seem to mind.Then she turned away from both of them and started talking very fast to Spock’s daddy.Jim tried to take Spock’s hand again but he moved it away.“No, Jim.”Jim huffed, turned and walked away back to Mama. She smiled at him and pulled him close. He liked Mama’s hugs.“That wasn’t so bad was it, baby?” she asked.“No. But she was scary.”Mama laughed at that, though Jim didn’t know why. “Yes, a little.”Jim pulled back to look at his Mama. “Does that mean I’m treela?’“T’hy’la, baby. And yes, T’Pau confirmed that you and Spock have a bond,” she said gently.Jim shrugged. “Okay.”She was kneeling in front of him now. “I know you don’t really understand, but you will as you get a little older. And someday you and Spock will be, well, married, I guess.”Jim frowned. “Okay. Does that mean he won’t marry T’Pring?”“Yes, baby, that’s what it means.”“So, he’ll play with me now?”Mama shook her head. “I don’t know, Jim. Vulcans aren’t like us. They don’t play like human boys.”Jim pouted. “Then can we go back?”“Back?”“So I can play with human boys.”“You want to go back to Earth?”Jim nodded.“Well, we’ll see. I’ll have to talk to Spock’s mommy and daddy about it.”“Okay. Maybe Spock can come too.”“Oh, baby, I don’t think they’d let that happen. He has school here and it’s very important for him to learn the Vulcan ways. But we’ll talk about this all later. Right now it’s time to go back to the house.”Jim looked to where Spock was standing with his parents and the scary Vulcan lady, but Spock was ignoring him. Wouldn’t even look at Jim. He didn’t know what a treela was but it didn’t sound like any fun at all.
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Spock had been surprised when his mother told him that Winona Kirk was thinking about returning to Earth with her two sons. In truth, he did not care much at all about George Samuel returning to Earth except that it might make Jim sad.But he did not like the idea of Jim departing Vulcan. He had made that very protest to his father.“Should not my t’hy’la remain here on Vulcan with me?”“There is no requirement that you are raised together, Spock. You will not need each other for many number of years.”“But should he not be taught the Vulcan way?”Sarek had shrugged. “That is also not a requirement. Your mother is fully functional as a resident here, and while she has adapted to our ways, her humanism remains.”Having run out of arguments with his logical father, Spock decided to plead his case with his mother. She would surely understand his need to keep Jim close.“How am I to protect him if he is on Earth and I am on Vulcan?”Mother smiled. “Oh, Spock, you’re just a little boy yourself. Jim’s mother will protect him.”“She is not good at it.”“Spock.”“She is not, Mother.”She shook her head. “Nevertheless, you will remain respectful and keep those opinions to yourself. Jim and Sam are Winona’s responsibility and if she wishes to take them back to Earth to raise them, that is her choice.”“She and George Samuel could return to Earth and leave Jim here.”“Spock, she isn’t going to abandon her son.”“Living with us is not abandonment,” Spock reasoned.Mother sighed and patted his head. Spock hated when she did that. “Go and do your school work, Spock. Leave such decisions to the adults.”Spock decided then that he needed to speak with Jim about staying. Perhaps his t’hy’la could convince his mother to leave him with Spock.He found Jim playing with a toy truck in his room. Sam was nowhere to be seen and Spock was glad for that. He didn’t want to deal with Jim’s brother.“Jim.”The younger boy ignored him and kept making growling noises while he played with the truck.“Jim,” Spock said louder.Jim did not respond.Spock crouched down next to him and seized the truck.“Ehh!” Jim protested.“I wish to speak with you.”“K.”“I have been informed that your mother intends to return to Earth with you and your brother.”Jim scrunched up his face.Spock sighed internally. “You are going back to Earth.”Jim’s face brightened into a smile. “Yeah. So I can play.”“But you are playing here.”“Not with friends.”“Jim, I am your friend.”Jim shook his head. “No, you aren’t. You are treela.”“T’hy’la,” Spock corrected.Jim nodded.“You…want to leave?”The boy nodded again.Spock blinked. “You…do not like me?”Jim scrunched up his face again. “I like you.”“Then why do you want to leave?”“To play with friends.”Spock supposed he could almost understand. He did not have friends on Vulcan, he could not imagine Jim would have any. He knew that the other Vulcan boys had been ignoring Sam. He did not want Jim to be sad.“Very well,” Spock said, softly. He handed Jim’s truck back to him.Jim smiled then and to Spock’s surprise, he threw his chubby arms around Spock and hugged him. It was very brief and Jim quickly released him, and went back to growling with his truck, but Spock felt it still. The only other one who ever hugged him was his mother.****It was less than a month later when Winona Kirk and her sons, George Samuel and James Tiberius, packed up their belongings and left Vulcan to return to a place called Riverside.Spock stood between his parents as they accompanied them to the shuttlebay for departure. His mother and Jim’s mother hugged and cried, but there were no other emotional displays. Spock stuck by his father’s side and his father rested a hand on Spock’s shoulder.Both Jim and his brother appeared to be thrilled to be leaving and Spock, logically, had no right to feel offended. He did nonetheless.Winona Kirk ushered her children ahead of her onto the ramp of the shuttle. Jim did not look back. Spock, also logically, had no right to feel offended about that. He did nonetheless.They turned, as a family, and returned to their dwelling, and Spock, for now, felt determined to put his t’hy’la out of his mind.
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Three Years Later“Jim!”He snickered to himself and pulled the blanket up more over his head.“James Tiberius!”“He’s hiding again, Mom,” Sam said.“We don’t have time for this. They’ll be here any moment.”“I’ll find the little brat,” Sam muttered, far too close to Jim’s location.Jim held his breath, because he knew if Sam heard him—“There he is!” Sam yelled out, triumphantly.The blanket was snatched off his head and Sam glared down at him.“Hey!”“Hay is for horses,” Sam retorted. “Mom’s looking for you. And you know it, I might add. Ambassador Sarek, his wife, and Spock will be here any time.”Sam, ten years old now, stared down at him with a definite look of superiority. “Your husband,” he sneered.Jim’s face burned hot. “He’s not my husband.”“According to the Vulcans he is. Or your betrothed. Whatever. Anyway, he’s intended to be your husband someday, isn’t he?”“Not getting married,” Jim mumbled.“Ever?”“Yes, ever. Marriage is icky.”Sam snorted. “Well, yeah. Can’t argue with that. Get up, brat. You’re supposed to be dressed and ready to greet them” He eyed Jim. “You’re still in your PJs.”“Don’t wanna.”“Don’t want to what?”“Greet them. Get dressed. Nothing.”“Too bad. Do it. You don’t want to make Mom cry, do you?”Jim bit his lip. “No.”“Get dressed, Jimmy. You want help?”“Yeah.”Sam sighed, but he reached down and pulled Jim up from the floor of his room where he’d been hiding underneath a blanket. “Sit on the bed while I get your clothes.”Jim did as Sam said and waited as his brother produced a pair of black pants Jim hated, but his mom had bought anyway, and a dark blue long-sleeved shirt with buttons all down the middle. He brought over Jim’s underwear too.“All right, get out of your PJs. And hurry up about it. Want socks?”“No socks.”“You’re so weird. Okay, no socks.”Pretty soon, Jim was dressed, and he put his shoes, no socks, on his feet, and followed Sam down the stairs to the ground floor of their farmhouse.“There you are! God, you’re going to drive me crazy!” His mom said, seizing him by the shoulders. “They’re here. I just saw their hover car pull up.”Jim made a face. He hadn’t seen them in the three years since they’d left Vulcan. Once a month Spock wrote to him and his mom made Jim reply back. Jim didn’t even understand half of what Spock wrote, so usually his Mom helped him write his message back.“If I’m good until after lunch, can I go play with Tommy?”“Oh, Jim, no, honey. They’re not leaving until tomorrow morning.”He frowned. “So?”“You have to be here the whole time, honey. You can play with Tommy tomorrow afternoon.”Jim pouted, but she had turned away to rush to the door to let in their visitors.He glanced at Sam and saw that his brother was smirking. Jim stuck his tongue out.The first one that came in was Spock’s daddy and he was as big and scary as Jim remembered from his time on Vulcan. He never laughed or smiled. That much Jim recalled.Next came Spock’s mommy. She had this flowered scarf over her head, which Jim could not entirely blame her as it was cold and windy outside. He would have worn a wool hat, but maybe the lady didn’t know any better.After her came Spock. Jim’s mom had told him that Spock was nine now, almost as old as Sam. He didn’t smile either, though his mommy did.“Thank you so much for welcoming us into your home,” Spock’s mom spoke up.Mom hugged her. “Oh, it’s our pleasure. We’ve been very excited to have you visit. Haven’t we, boys?”Sam dutifully responded, “Of course. It’s good to see you all again.”Mom turned to Jim. “Jimmy?”“Uh-huh.”His mom narrowed her eyes at him.“Oh, look, you’re just as cute as ever, aren’t you, Jim?” Spock’s mom exclaimed. She had approached Jim, and held out her hand toward him.Jim took her hand, at least that is what he thought he was supposed to. “Hi.”“Well, let me get you settled upstairs,” Jim’s mom said. “Sam, help me with their bags.”“Spock, why don’t you stay down here and talk to Jim?”Spock walked over to where Jim stood and they both watched as their parents and Sam went up the stairs.Jim turned his attention to Spock, who stared back at him. Spock had really dark eyes.“You look older.”Spock arched a brow at him. “I have aged three years as have you.”“Yep.” Jim sighed and tugged his bottom lip with his teeth. “Do you play now?”“Play.”“Yes. With toys. Trucks and building block and things.”Spock straightened. “I do not.”“Oh.” He’d thought that was the case, but he had thought to ask. He wouldn’t have been as fun to play with as his best friend, Tommy, anyway. “What do you do?”“School work. I study.”“All the time?”“When I am not eating or sleeping, obviously.”Jim blew his lips in a way that Sam called a raspberry. He wasn’t sure why. “’K.”“As my mate, you will wish to spend time studying what it means to be a Vulcan,” Spock said then.“Boring.”“What?”“It means boring.” Jim folded his arms across his chest as he’d seen Sam do.Just then they all came back down the stairs. Spock was holding himself to be even more stiff than before. Jim just wanted it to be tomorrow already.“Lunch time,” his mom announced, her gaze falling on Jim. She frowned, but did not reprimand him for anything. “Jim, why don’t you help Mama in the kitchen?”“Okay.”He noticed Sam was watching him, eyes wide, though Jim wasn’t sure why, and he saw that Spock’s cheeks were a little greener than before. He turned his back on Jim then and went to where his mother called him. Jim shrugged.He hadn’t said anything that wasn’t true. Tommy would play with him. Tomorrow anyway.
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There wasn’t much to the yard that Spock could see. A lot of soil with nothing growing in it. In the distance, he did spot what he thought could be some sort of vegetable garden, but even from here, Spock could tell it was not thriving.He’d come outside after their lunch. They’d been served a rather bland salad and grain dish. Jim had declared, loudly, he would have preferred to have pizza, and he’d been very quickly reprimanded by his mother.It had been his own mother’s suggestion that he go outside for a bit. It had been Spock’s experience that meant the adults wished to speak without the children present.George Samuel and Jim had been advised to clean up after the lunch, but Spock was not given that chore.It was not as cold out here as Spock had been led to believe it would be by his mother, so with his coat on over his sweater, Spock found himself to be rather too warm.Vulcans did not sigh. Or at least that was what Father told him, yet, Spock felt the urge to sigh, nonetheless. He had not wanted to make this trip to Earth with Father, but both Mother and Father thought it would be beneficial for him to spend a short period of time with his T’hy’la and his T’hy’la’s family as it had been three years since they had departed Vulcan. They only had to stay overnight and then they would spend the rest of their Earth time in San Francisco before returning to Vulcan seven days from now.Spock looked forward to his return to Vulcan. He had not looked forward, particularly, to this visit, and it had been as he suspected it would be. He and Jim had almost nothing in common, which with this visit, seemed even more obvious than with their prior interactions. Had not the Vulcan elder declared, upon examination, that Jim was indeed Spock’s T’hy’la as Spock had believed at the time, Spock himself would doubt very much that it was the case. He did not understand why his T’hy’la would be a human who seemed to care very little for him.Spock turned at the sound of the door, expecting Mother to advise him he could come indoors once more, but instead it was the child, Jim, coming outside even more bundled up than Spock was.“Hello,” Jim said upon approach.“Hello.”“Mama said I should come out here and try to talk to you.”“I see.”Spock noted that the boy was not even looking at him as he spoke and that he was bending down to play in the dirt with a stick he had somehow already picked up.“What are you doing?” Spock asked.“Drawering.”“Drawing,” Spock corrected.“Yep.”Spock looked down at the dirt. “What is it you are drawing?”“The moon.”“It looks just like a round ball.”Jim glanced up at him, blue eyes very stark in his pale face. “That’s the moon.”Spock internally sighed. “Do you like space?”“Yeah. Want to be a starship captain.”He frowned slightly. “That will be difficult from Vulcan.”“From Vulcan?”“Where you will be living while I attend the Vulcan Science Academy.”Jim shook his head. “Nuh-uh. Gonna join Starfleet like Daddy.”“That will be impossible.”“No it won’t!” Jim was now glaring at Spock and Spock decided it was not worth arguing with the human boy about it at this point. When the time came, Jim would know.“What are you drawing now?” he asked instead.“A ship.”It looked like a worm to Spock, but since Jim already seemed surly, he decided not to mention it.Jim suddenly tossed down the stick and stood up, peering at Spock. “Are you going to play with me now?”Spock shook his head. “I do not play.”“Why not?”“It is not the Vulcan way.”Jim stuck out his bottom lip. “Fine.” He turned and started running away from Spock, waving his arms and making ship noises as he headed for a group of trees. He tripped and fell once, but picked himself up after only a slight pause and kept on running.Somewhat alarmed, Spock followed after him, wondering about the lack of adult supervision around this clearly careless human boy.Jim seized the trunk of a tree and Spock understood what Jim intended to do.“No, Jim.”Jim looked at him, eyes wide with incredulity. He shook his head and turned back around, starting to climb.“Jim!”“You aren’t the boss of me.” The boy stuck his tongue out.“I am, in fact,” Spock insisted. “As the elder, with no adults around, I am in charge of your welfare.”“Blah blah blah.”Spock blinked.Jim continued to climb higher and higher, feet standing on narrow branches that cracked and creaked even under his slight weight.When the door of the house opened again, Spock took his eyes off of Jim long enough to see it was Jim’s brother who had come outside. He stared toward them, hands on hips.“Jim, you’d better not be climbing that tree again!”Again? Somehow Spock should have known.A branch snapped, drawing Spock to look back at Jim, who teetered on the tiny branch.“Jim! Get down and get into this house now!” Sam shouted.Jim’s foot slipped. “Oops!”Heart hammering in his side, Spock moved closer to the tree just as Jim began to fall at rapid speed. The boy landed right on Spock, knocking him, winded to the ground.Sam reached them. “Jim, are you all right?”Jim looked down at Spock, who now lay on the hard ground, in a heap of damp leaves. “Thanks!” He scrambled off Spock. “I think I twisted my arm.”Sam rolled his eyes. “You’re lucky that’s all you did. Go back into the house.” Jim’s brother eyed Spock. “Need help up?”Spock shook his head, sitting up. He had a bit of a headache from the fall and he was still a bit winded from the impact of Jim landing on him.Sam nodded. “Now you see what I deal with every day.” He smiled. “But for the next week, he’s your problem.”Spock stood, brushing leaves off him. “How?”Sam’s smile widened into a grin. “He’s going to San Francisco with you and your parents.”
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“There’s no need to sulk.”Jim watched his mother as she packed him a suitcase. He had his bottom lip out, but she didn’t even look at him.“You said I could play with Tommy tomorrow.”“You can play with him when you get back.”“But you said—”“I changed my mind. Mommy’s are allowed to do that.”“It’s not fair. I like Tommy better than I like Spock.”“That’s why you’re going to San Francisco with Spock and his parents. You need to get to know them more.” Mama sighed. “We moved away from Vulcan too soon. You don’t remember, but you liked Spock when we were there.”“He doesn’t play with me.”“Jim, Spock is Vulcan and they are different than we are. He has different priorities.”Jim scowled. “Pri-pri-reties.”Mama smiled. “Priorities. It means he finds other things more important than playing. Some day you will too. But it’s important you try to get along with him and his parents. Spock’s mama is human and she will know how to make things fun for you.”He huffed. “Okay.”“And when you come home you and Tommy can play.” She patted his arm. “Why don’t you go and find Spock while I continue to pack your stuff? Dinner won’t be for another hour or two.”Jim turned to leave his room, but then turned back. “Mama, do I have to?”“Well, no, but—”Jim shook his head. “I mean…Spock. Marry him.”Mama looked uncertain. “Not for a long time.”“But-but what if I don’t want to?”“Jim.” She sighed and ran her hand over her hair. “Just. One thing at a time, okay? Go and find Spock. Get to know him. Okay?”“All right.”Jim left his room and went down the hallway, passing the room that he knew Mama had given to Spock’s parents. As he passed he heard Spock’s daddy raising his voice.“It is not up to a six year old boy—”“Sarek, he’s just a child.”“And one who has been hopelessly spoiled. I have serious reservations about this bond and—”Jim walked to the stairs and down them. He didn’t see Spock, but he saw Sam sitting on the couch holding his gaming system.“Have you seen Spock?”“Outside.”Jim nodded and went over to Sam.Sam looked up. “What?”“I don’t think Spock’s daddy likes me.”“How do you know?”Jim shrugged. “They were talking.”Sam ruffled Jim’s hair. “Don’t listen in on adults’ conversations, kiddo.”“Well.”“He’s just concerned for Spock, that’s all.”“Okay.”Jim went outside, looking around for Spock. He saw him over by the barn, tossing pebbles. Jim ran over.“Hi.”Spock eyed him. “How is your arm?”“My arm?”“You said you twisted it.”Jim had already forgotten about it. He flexed it. “Doesn’t hurt.”Spock said nothing more and continued to toss pebbles at the side of the barn.“Whatcha doing?”“Clearly I am throwing rocks.”Jim bit his lip. “Are you mad?”Spock shook his head. “I do not become angry.”“Why not?”“Because it is not logical.”Jim scrunched up his face. “What’s logical?”“It has to make sense, have meaning,” Spock said, shrugging slightly.“And being mad does not?”“Correct.”“How come you’re throwing rocks then? Sam does stuff like that when he’s frus-fustated.”“Frustrated,” Spock replied.“Okay. Do you do that?”Spock shook his head. “I like the sound it makes when it hits the wood.”Jim watched him for a while.“Your daddy doesn’t like me.”“He does not believe we are compatible.”Jim wasn’t sure what that word meant but he was pretty sure Spock just agreed that his daddy didn’t like Jim.“I’m going with you tomorrow.”“I have been told.” Spock held out his hand, palm up, offering pebbles to Jim.“Do you want me to come?” Jim picked up the four rocks.“I do not care either way.”Jim threw a pebble against the barn. He felt a slight twinge in his arm, but it didn’t really hurt.“Why don’t Vulcans like to play?”“We have studies.”“Well.” Jim threw another rock. “You aren’t studying now.”Spock arched a brow. Threw his rock farther than Jim’s. “Jim.”“Yeah?”“Perhaps it is true that my father does not like you.” Spock handed Jim more pebbles as Jim threw his last one. “But…I do.”
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Spock watched as Jim rushed across the aisle to the window of the shuttle and then back again to the window on the other side. He had been doing this strange behavior for the last several minutes.“You should sit down while the shuttle is in motion.”“Nope.”He held back a sigh, but barely.At that moment, Mother returned. She smiled in Jim’s direction as she handed Spock a small bag of vegetable chips.“Mother, Jim will not remain still.”“It’s fine, Spock. He’s just excited.”“But we were told to remain seated and secured in our seats for the duration of the flight.”“I know, but it’s all right, honey.” She took her seat next to Spock. She had a container of tea. She still held a package of cookies that Spock surmised was for Jim. He doubted the wisdom of allowing the small boy to have more sugar.Mother stayed there for a moment, and then rose again, saying she was going to see what was keeping Spock’s father in the other part of the shuttle.She pressed the cookie package into Spock’s hands. “Give these to him when he’s done.”Spock was not sure Jim would ever be done running back and forth, but he agreed. He finished his own vegetable chips, discarded the bag in the appropriate recycle receptacle and prepared to close his eyes in meditation. He did not anticipate being successful considering, but it was worth the attempt.Spock opened his eyes a moment later when he became aware Jim was no longer running. Sure enough, Jim stood before him, blue eyes wide, cheeks pink.“I’m cold.”“That is surprising considering your exercising.”“Huh?”“Where is your coat?”“Uh.”“Surely your mother packed you one.”Jim nodded. “Yeah. But I stuffed it in my bag.”Spock was aware their luggage had been loaded into the cargo bay of the shuttle. “Sit.”Jim sat beside Spock obediently as Spock removed the coat he had been wearing and placed it around Jim’s frail, thin shoulders. He handed the cookies to Jim, who smiled sunnily.“Is that better?” Spock asked.“Yes.” Jim stuffed several cookies into his mouth at once.Spock closed his eyes again.“Are we there yet?”“Have they announced our arrival?” Spock asked, not bothering to open his eyes.“Nope.”Thirty seconds later.“Whatcha doing?”“I am attempting to meditate.”“Is that where you float in the air?”Spock shook his head. “That is levitate.”“Oh.”He heard more munching of cookies. Then a crumb covered hand touched his cheek. Spock opened his eyes.Jim smiled. “Wanted to see if you fell asleep.”“I told you, I am meditating. Or trying to.”“You do that with your eyes closed?”“Yes.” Spock hesitated. “I could, perhaps, teach you.”“Teach me?” Jim made a face. “Do I have to sit like a statue and close my eyes?”“Yes.”Jim shook his head. “Nope.”Spock did sigh this time and almost gave into his amusement when Jim sighed after him, a sound extremely similar to his own.“Are we there yet?” Jim asked after a moment.“No.”“Well, when? This is taking forever.”“The shuttle flight is three point two hours between Riverside and San Francisco.”Jim huffed. “Forever.”“If you say so.”Ten minutes later. “How much longer?”Spock sighed again.****“Now, Spock, you’d better hold onto Jim’s hand.”Spock gave his mom the side-eye. He did not particularly want to hold Jim’s hand. He’d already had to give up his coat. And Spock was cold. It was overcast in San Francisco and there was rain in the forecast.“Spock.”Barely refraining from rolling his eyes, Spock reached for Jim’s hand and took it in his. It was cold, clammy and moist. Spock made a face. With his other hand, he dragged his suitcase behind them. Mother had her own, Father’s and Jim’s.After a moment, Spock frowned. “Why is your hand sticky?” he demanded.Jim looked at him a little shyly. “Candy.”“Where did you obtain candy?”“Mama gave it to me before I left.”Spock shook his head. “Did you get it all over my coat?”Jim bit his lip and shrugged.Which meant, yes, he had.Spock determined then that this was going to be a long week.On the other hand, once he and his parents returned to Vulcan, it might be a long time before he saw Jim again. He should be grateful for the opportunity.He glanced at the boy, who now had his head tilted back, blue eyes sparkling, as he looked up at the sky. Spock looked up too, but he saw nothing but clouds. He shook his head, tightened his grip on Jim’s hand and tugged the boy with him after his parents as they made their way to the hotel.
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Jim was hungry. In fact he had been hungry for hours and hours. He’d had cookies on the shuttle but oddly they just made him hungrier.He’d even complained to Spock.“I’m starving.”“You are not starving, Jim.”How someone only three years older than him sounded like his mom, Jim didn’t know. But he’d stuck his tongue out at Spock and walked away, leaving the Vulcan boy in the room they’d been given for the time Jim was there.The hotel room was huge. Maybe bigger than the farmhouse. And it had separate rooms more like a house than a hotel. He and Spock were sharing a room, though they had separate twin beds. There was a kitchen, too, but when Jim went to it, looking for something to eat, he discovered there wasn’t any food.Spock’s mommy and daddy were arguing in their room about something. Jim didn’t know what this time, but he didn’t want to get nearer to find out. He figured it was probably about him anyway. He really didn’t know what Spock’s daddy didn’t like about him.When they had first got to the hotel, Jim had seen a place where people were seated and eating. A sit-down restaurant, Mommy called them. So that meant he could get food there. And so, while Spock did whatever he was doing on his PADD in their room, and Spock’s parents fought over Jim, Jim decided to go down to the restaurant to eat.Jim went out into the hall and down to the elevator, pressing the button. When he got on, he pressed it for down to the lobby.A lady stood behind a podium at the entrance of the restaurant. She had white hair and blue skin with antennae.“How many?”“One, please.”“Where are your parents?” she asked.“My daddy is dead. My mommy is in Riverside.”The lady frowned. “Where’s that?”“Iowa.”She gave him a strange look, but then shrugged, grabbed a Menu Padd and brought him to a two seat table by the window.Jim pointed to the item on the menu he wanted when the waiter, a very tall, thin man with white tufts of hair, came by.“To drink?”“Uh. Milk, I guess.”Jim stared out the window watching people go by while he waited, so he was completely surprised when Spock appeared, looking super mad.“Hi. How’d you know where I was?”“It was not easy,” Spock assured him. “You cannot just leave and go out on your own, Jim.”“I was hungry.”“You needed to wait for either Mother or me.”“Your mommy was fighting with your daddy and you didn’t want to feed me.”Spock opened and then closed his mouth. He sat across from Jim abruptly. “Next time, you must get permission. We are responsible for you. You cannot wander around by yourself.”The waiter came by with his food.Spock eyed it. “What is this?”“Chili fries.”“Are you permitted to eat chili fries?”“Of course.”“Of course,” Spock repeated softly.“Want something, kid?” the waiter asked Spock.“Hot tea, please. And thank you.”Jim smiled and stuffed one of the chili fries into his mouth. He nodded. “Good.”“Do not speak with your mouth full.”He sighed. “You aren’t my mommy.”“I know.”Jim ate another fry. “Sometimes you act like it.”“Your welfare is my concern.”“Your cheeks are very green right now,” Jim said.Spock shifted. “They are not.”Jim smiled. He held out a chili fry for Spock. “Try it. It’s really good.”“I cannot. Chili has meat.”Jim wiped off the fry with a napkin until all the chili was gone and then held it out for Spock.For what seemed like forever, Spock stared at it. But he eventually took it and took a tentative bite. Before he could say anything, the waiter arrived with his hot tea, which was a little cup and a metal teapot.“Want more?”“I should not.”Jim smiled. “But do you want more?”Spock frowned slightly. “Yes.”Jim got out of his chair and walked over to the waiter, who was at another table.“Can we get some regular fries, please?”The waiter rolled his eyes. “Yeah, okay.”Jim returned to his seat. “He’s gonna bring you some plain ones.”Spock poured himself some tea and they remained silent until the waiter came back with his fries. He left a bill too.Jim stared at it. “Oops.”Spock crunched on his fry. “What?”“I don’t have any credit chips.”“Oh. We will just have Sa-Mekh pay it.”“Sa-Mekh?”Spock nodded. “Very good, Jim. Your pronouncement of Vulcan words has improved.”“There you two are!”Jim and Spock turned to see Spock’s mommy coming toward them.“Just what do you think you’re doing sneaking off like that?”“I came after Jim,” Spock explained.“You should have come and got me,” she said. “You are not as young as Jim, but you still shouldn’t be on your own. Jim, honey, you can’t just leave on your own, okay? Your mommy wants us to watch out and care for you while you are here with us. Please don’t do that again.”Jim lowered his gaze. “Okay.”:She sighed. “I’m not mad, honey, and you aren’t in trouble, this time. But it’s a very good thing that Spock found you right away and that you didn’t leave the hotel. And the hostess notified the hotel management and they figured out you two belong to us. From now on, you come to me if you want to go anywhere, okay?”“Yes. Okay.”“Good.” She smiled. “Now when you two are done there, we’ll go and get some things to stock the kitchen in our hotel room. Better for you than fries.”Jim nodded, but he couldn’t help getting a to-go box for the rest of the fries. He didn’t know what Spock’s mommy would get for them to eat, but he figured it wouldn’t be as good as the chili fries.
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Spock was bored.They were at the Natural History Museum, which Spock found fascinating, normally. But on this day, he had been charged with keeping an eye on Jim. Mother was with them, of course, but they were doing whatever Jim wanted to do, and though Spock wanted to examine the exhibits that were for adults, Jim had wanted to visit the part of the museum that had been set aside for children.Human children.Jim ran around from exhibit to exhibit with squirrel-like manic energy while Spock and Mother stood to the side watching him.“Not having fun, Spock?” Mother asked, eyeing him.“The purpose of coming to the Museum was for education, Mother, not entertainment.”“Well, yes, I know, but Jim is having fun.” She shook her head. “He’s our guest, Spock. His needs come first.”Spock wished to point out that it had been him who wished to go to the museum, not Jim, but he figured it would matter little to Mother.In any case, Jim had looked at every exhibit in this part of the museum at least a dozen times each. Surely, it was time to move on to the educational parts.
It is time to continue, Jim.
Spock sent that through his mind, hopefully into Jim’s. For after all, they were T’hy’la. Surely he should be able to communicate with the boy this way.Jim, however, showed no sign of receiving any such method and wasted another twenty minutes dashing around before Mother finally took pity on Spock.“Jim, come here, dear.”Jim stopped and ran back in their direction. He had a big smile on his face.“Spock has expressed an interest to view another part of the museum,” Mother said. “Are you ready to leave this area?”“Sure.”Mother took Jim’s hand in hers. They had already learned if you did not, he would run off, and they would quickly lose sight of him. Jim seemed to have zero sense of personal danger.The next two hours, Spock spent engrossed in subjects of definite interest to him. He barely paid any attention to Mother or Jim, though he was aware they were around him. He heard Jim say a time or two that he was bored, but Spock was able to ignore that for the most part.When they were finished, they headed out of the museum to walk back to their hotel suite. It was a warm day, which made walking preferable. The problem was that Jim wanted to run.“Jim, you must remain with us!” Mother called after him.Jim stopped at a vendor on the street who seemed to be selling spun pink sugar. Spock was of the mind that Jim did not need any more sugar.Mother sighed indulgently. “Go over with him and get him some, would you, Spock?”“Is that wise?”She laughed. “He’s just a child. Children like cotton candy.”Technically, Spock was a child, too, but he did not remind his mother, as she certainly knew.He went over to the cotton candy vendor who had placed his cart only a block from the museum entrance, no doubt with intent, and waited for him to spin the sugar on the paper wand for Jim, who by now could barely contain his excitement.When they were done, he shoved it at Spock. “Want some?”Spock eyed the pink fluff. “Very well.” He tore off a small bit and popped it into his mouth. “It just tastes sweet.”“Yeah!”Spock shook his head. “And it is sticky. Do not touch me.”They walked another block with Jim unable to keep quiet. He chattered constantly and Spock stopped listening.His mother’s communicator chirped. “Oh. That’s your father. Hang on. You two just stay here.” She flipped it open. “Sarek? Yes. The boys and I are on our way back right now.”Spock turned and realized they were right in front of a store that had a display of old books in the window. He walked over to them to peer at them with interest. On Vulcan most of the old books like this were ancient texts from Surak’s time.“Okay,” Mother said, closing the communicator. “Now let’s…where’s Jim?”Spock looked around. There was no sign of the human boy either behind them or in front of them.“I do not know.”
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Jim was tired of waiting for Spock and his mom to be done with whatever they were doing. Spock’s mom was talking to Spock’s dad, Jim thought. And Spock? Well, he was trying to ignore Jim, like always.With a heavy sigh, Jim shifted on the sidewalk, huffing to himself.And then he saw it.San Francisco Zoo.An arrow pointing down the street from where Jim stood.Animals.Jim loved animals. He especially liked dogs and his mom still wouldn’t let him get one, but he loved all animals. He glanced at Spock’s back. He was staring into some store. And his mom was still talking.“Spock? I’m going to the zoo.”Spock didn’t respond.Well, Jim thought. They’ll catch up to him. At least he told Spock where he was going.Jim dashed off in the direction of the arrow. When he got to a corner, the arrow pointed left, so Jim went that way. And then right, so he went there.Finally, he saw the sign for the actual zoo. He ran to it. And then up to the entrance.“Ticket, kid?”Uh.Jim stared up at the lady who asked for his ticket.“Well?”“I don’t have a ticket.”“No ticket, no entrance. Sorry, kid. Go find your parents.”Jim turned away, disappointed. He waited ten minutes, hoping Spock and his mom would show up. After all he did tell Spock where he was going. But they didn’t.Now he was going to have to find his way back to Spock and his mom. Jim hoped he remembered the way.Jim started walking, figuring his best bet was the direction he came from, obviously.“Hey kid. You lost?”A hand reached out and grabbed Jim’s shoulder, stopping his forward motion. Eyes wide, Jim looked up at the giant man who had a hold of him.“Well kid? Where are your parents?”“Uh.”“You’re coming with me.”“No. I…no. I’m not-I’m not supposed to talk to strangers.”The man, who had shaggy white hair and a beard, glared down at him. “My name’s Cooper. Now I’m not a stranger. Let’s go.”“No! Stop.”Jim heard a weird sound behind them then, and he turned to see Spock rushing toward them.“Unhand my T’hy’la.”Spock had his hand in a strange position and he was jumping up, trying to reach the top of the man, it seemed.The man dodged Spock. “What the hell?”And then Spock’s mom ran up. She was panting. “Sorry. Sorry. These children are with me.”The man frowned. “Okay. I was just going to take the kid to the police to find his parents.”“No need. I’ll take them.”Jim watched the man walk away and he turned to Spock, eyes wide. “What-what were you gonna do to him?”“I was attempting to render him incapacitated by activating the Vulcan neck pinch.”“The-the what?”Spock’s mom made a laughing sound, but the smile slipped from her face and she knelt down next to Jim.“Jim, didn’t we tell you not to run off?”“But-but I told Spock I was going to the zoo.”“I did not hear you.”“It doesn’t matter whether you did tell him or if he heard you, you still went off on your own, and you can’t do that, Jim. It’s not safe. If you can’t listen to me, I’ll have to keep you in the hotel room the rest of the time you’re here, and you don’t want that, do you?”Jim’s lip wobbled. He felt his eyes pool with tears. “N-no.”“Then you must listen. Now, there isn’t time to go to the zoo today, but maybe in a day or two. We’re returning to the hotel.”“’Kay.”Jim went to reach for Spock’s hand but the Vulcan boy moved away, purposefully, Jim decided, and Spock’s mom grabbed Jim’s hand instead. She wouldn’t let go the entire time either.Once they were back at the hotel, Jim was sent to his room until it was time to eat. As he passed by the office Sarek was using he could hear Sarek.“There has to be some way to sever even a T’hy’la bond. Affirmative. The human child is without discipline of any kind. He runs wild at every opportunity. They are completely incompatible.”Jim wiped the tear from his cheek and continued to his room.
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Jim was on the little computer his mom allowed him to bring with him when Amanda tapped lightly on the bedroom door before stepping inside.“Jim?”“Yeah.”She smiled. “I brought you some milk and cookies.”Jim perked up at that, and she walked over to where he sat on the bed, with a plate and a glass. He eyed them suspiciously. “Why does the milk look funny?”“It’s oat milk.”“What’s wrong with the chocolate chips?”“They’re carob chips.”Jim made a face.She laughed. “You could at least try them.” She thrust the plate at him.“I’m allergic to carob.”She pulled the plate back quickly. “Oh! Jim. I’m so sorry. I didn’t know. Your mother gave me a list but—Jim giggled. “I’m kidding. I’m not.”“Jim!” And then he was glad when she laughed too.Jim took a cookie and had a bite. He shrugged.Amanda laughed and fluffed his hair. “You do have a lot of allergies.”He nodded. “Mommy says some of it’s cause her side of the family are weak.”“Weak? Well, I don’t know about that.”“And then, when I was born, my lungs got a little damaged, cause of the fires and ‘splosions when we ‘scaped. I got asthma.”Amanda reached over and squeezed his shoulder. She gave him a soft smile. “What are you doing?”Jim looked away as he munched on a cookie. “Looking up a word.”“Yeah? What word?”“Sever.”She frowned. “Sever? Why would you look up a word like that?”“Cause.” He shrugged.“Where’d you even hear a word like that?”“Sarek.”She didn’t respond to that, not right away, anyhow. Jim took the glass of milk, and sniffed it. Smelled okay, he guessed.“Jim. I’ll talk to him.”Jim nodded. “He doesn’t like me.”“Oh, I’m sure that’s not—”“I don’t think Spock does either.”“I’m sure that is not the case. Spock likes you very much.”Jim looked at her and shook his head. “Nope. That word. I never heard it before. But it means to divide by cutting forci-forci…” Jim blew out a breath. “By force. Spock’s daddy wants to do that to my bond with Spock.”“That is not going to happen,” she insisted.“But he’s Spock’s daddy. What he says goes. Right?”“Not necessarily. And not in this. I promise you, Jim, you don’t need to worry about that. Would you like to go to the zoo tomorrow?”Jim took a tentative sip of the milk. He wrinkled his nose, but took another. “Sent a note to Mommy.”“You did? About what?”Jim bit his lip. “I want to go home. I asked her if I could.”“Oh, Jim. That’s not what we want at all.”He shrugged. “She hasn’t said yet. But you may not want me to go home, but I bet Spock does.”“I know he does not.” She stood then. “I’m going to send him in to talk to you while I go speak with Spock’s father.”Jim shrugged again when she left and then continued to eat the cookie, watching for a response on his computer from his mom. She was probably busy with Sam. Jim heard them fighting a lot.It was a while later before Spock came into his room. Jim wasn’t sure how long. He hadn’t received a response yet, so he had switched to playing a game while he waited. He looked over at Spock when he stood by the door.“Hello,” Jim finally said.“Greetings, Jim.”Jim shook his head. “Why can’t you just say hi like normal?”Spock hesitated. “I am not…normal.”“You can come in if you want. I have cookies.”Spock walked over to Jim’s bed and reached down to take a cookie from the plate. “You scared me before.”“Scared?”Spock nodded. “When you disappeared.”“I told you I was going.”Spock sighed and sat on the bed. “You are too young to go on your own, Jim. You could have gotten lost. Or that man might have kidnapped you.”Jim shot the creature in his game. “Can take care of myself.”“No, you cannot.”Jim huffed. “If you didn’t hear me, how come you found me so quick?”“Our bond.”Jim scrunched up his face. “Huh?”“Because our minds are linked, in a way, I was able to feel where you were.” Spock shrugged a little. “I am not exactly sure how it all works either, yet, Jim. But I knew where you were because you are my T’hy’la. It is fortunate. That man was scary.”“Yeah,” Jim agreed. He frowned. “Don’t feel you. It’s just me in here.”Spock’s lips curved. “It will take some getting used to. For both of us. But we are both young, so there is time. And some day, an elder will see that our bond is fully realized.”“No.”“What?”“Your daddy doesn’t want that. I heard him.”“You heard him what?”“He said he wanted to sever our bond.”“No.”“Yes, that’s what he said, Spock.”Spock sighed again. “I believe you heard him, Jim. But I will not permit our bond to be changed.”“But he’s your daddy.”“It does not matter.” Spock stood and then exited Jim’s room without another word.Jim shrugged. He checked for a message from his mom, but nothing yet.Spock came back in a second later, dark eyes wide. “Mother and Father are arguing.”Jim nodded. “Adults fight a lot.”Spock sat back on the bed with Jim and took another cookie. “Affirmative.”Jim eyed Spock then. Took a chance. “Want to play a video game with me? You shoot alien monsters. We can play each other.”Spock looked at him. “You do this with Tommy?”Jim perked up at the mention of his friend. “Yeah!”Spock looked at the door of the bedroom and then back at Jim. “Very well.”“Yellow or blue?”“What?”“Do you want to be the yellow or blue ship?”“Blue. I will play blue.”
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Jim did end up going to the zoo the next day with Amanda and Spock, but he’d also woke to a message from his mom saying he could come home if he wanted to and Jim had replied that he did.They’d been at the zoo for two hours, most of which Jim was subjected to a Spock lecture regarding each animal they visited.Once during a pause, Jim had finally exclaimed, “And you know what else, Spock?”Spock, looking a bit startled that Jim wanted to add something that perhaps he did not know, asked, rather carefully, “What, Jim?”Jim smiled. “They’re super cool!”Spock had merely blinked at him, but Amanda had laughed and agreed.And when they went around the next curve, Jim’s mom stood there.“Mom!” He rushed at her, happily, and she gave him a big hug.“There you are! Just where Amanda said you three would be.”“Mother, you knew Jim’s mother was coming?”Amanda patted Spock’s shoulder. “Of course. She contacted me this morning to alert me of her arrival. She’s taking Jim home today after the zoo.”“But…I see.” Spock nodded.Jim felt a little bad that Spock didn’t seem happy, but not bad enough to care much. He wanted to go home.“Hello Spock,” his mom greeted Spock and then went to give a hug to Amanda.“It’s wonderful to see you, Winona. Why don’t you sit with Jim for a bit while Spock and I go get us all some drinks?”“Thank you.”She put her hands on Jim’s shoulders and directed him to a bench under a shady tree.Jim bit his lip. “Am I in trouble?”“Oh, no. Of course you aren’t. Of course not. I just wanted to talk to you a little about Sarek.”Jim looked down at his hands. “Okay.”“I’ve been to see him this morning. Before I came here. And I want to tell you that he’s not going to do anything to your bond with Spock.”“But he wants to.”“No.”“Mom, I heard him.”She nodded. “I know you did. But he’s changed his mind.”He raised his gaze to her. “Did he?”“With a little persuasion from me and Amanda, yes.”“What if Spock wants to sever it?”His mother sighed. “He doesn’t, Jimmy.”“You sure?”“Positive. He told his mother. But I think it’s good to go home, yeah? I think that’s enough of a visit for now.”“Yeah.”“Sarek doesn’t…well, he doesn’t really understand Human boys.”“Spock is part though.”“Well, yes, but, well, Sarek doesn’t want him to be. He wants Spock to be all Vulcan. And Vulcan children aren’t the same as Human children.”“I’ll say.”She laughed and ruffled his hair. “He just doesn’t know you, Jim. He doesn’t know how really smart you are or how kind and patient and…well…rambunctious you are.”Jim had to remember to look up that word.“And next time, Spock will come see us, okay?”“Okay.”“But not for a couple of years or so. Right now he’s going to be very busy with his studies.”Jim made a face.She laughed again. “Now, Jim. And you’ll have school, too. But you’ll also spend a lot of time just getting to play and be a kid.”He smiled at that. “With Tommy?”“Definitely.” She one-armed hugged him. “You’re still a bit sad, though, huh?”Jim watched the other kids at the zoo. “Wish I had a dad sometimes.”“I know, baby. I miss your dad like crazy. But he was so happy you were coming. And I know he’d be very proud of you.”“Yeah?”“Oh for sure. But you know, I think right now it’s perfect with just you, me, and Sam. Nobody else. What do you say?”“I like that.” Jim bit his lip again. “Where is Sam?”“I left him to stay with Mrs. Larabee next door. We’ll get him when we go home.” She ruffled his hair again and really Jim didn’t like it, but since his mom was there, and he’d missed her, he put up with it. “You like the animals?”“Yes. It’s sad they are locked away though.”“For their own good as much as ours. A lot of them were almost extinct and so the zoo works to make sure they are still around. It’s all about conservation.”Jim nodded. “I know. Spock told me.”“He’s very smart.”Jim snorted. “He told me that, too.”“Jimmy, be nice,” she said, but she was grinning. She patted his leg, stood up, and pulled him up from the bench. “What do you say to some nice gooey caramel corn?”“Yum!”****Spock stood very straight in front of Jim and held up his hand in that funny way the Vulcans did. The ta’al, Jim guessed. Jim wasn’t sure why they couldn’t just high five or pump fists or whatever, but Spock didn’t look very willing to do that.“I trust you will have a safe and trouble free journey home.”Jim wondered how Spock could be only three years older than him and yet speak like he was an old man. He shook his head.“I’m sure,” Jim replied.Spock’s eyebrow went up at that. “You are looking forward to playing with your friend Tommy?”“Sure am! Can’t wait.”“I trust he will make a more suitable companion for you at present.”Jim stared at Spock. “Huh?”“He will be a good friend for you.”“Oh. Yeah. My best friend.” Jim’s smile widened.Spock’s shoulders shifted a bit and a tiny frown appeared about his mouth, but he merely nodded. “I do not know when we will see each other again.”“Mommy said in a couple of years.”His mom came up and put her hands on Jim’s shoulders. “Oh, and you can definitely talk over messenger and video chat, too.”Spock stared blankly at her, so Jim wasn’t sure if he liked that idea or not. It would be fine with Jim as long as he was done playing with Tommy.“Live long and prosper,” Spock said flatly.Jim raised his hand when his mom nudged him. His fingers wouldn’t do what Spock’s was doing, so he stuck the fingers of his other hand between them to make his hand do it. “Is that right?”“No.”Jim shrugged. “Bye, Spock. I had…fun.”Amanda came up to Jim then, crouched down and hugged him. “It was lovely having you stay with us, Jim. We can’t wait to see you again.”Jim hugged her back, glanced at Spock and then up at his mom. Amanda released him and then straightened to hug Jim’s mom.He shrugged again, approached Spock, and threw his arms around the Vulcan boy’s shoulders, squeezing lightly. “See you.”Then he ran after his mother, who was heading into the shuttle bay. As he looked back at Spock and his mother, Amanda was waving, but Spock merely stared, his cheeks a little green.Mom smiled down at him. “Ready, kiddo?”“Yes. Can we have spaghetti for dinner?”She laughed. “We’ll see.” She grabbed his hand and they boarded their shuttle for home.
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“I hate you!” Sam screamed.“George Samuel Kirk, you get back here right now!” Mom screamed back.Jim winced as he sat in front of his computer terminal at his desk in his bedroom. He leaned over and hit the volume on his music, turning it up so loud he could no longer hear them screaming from downstairs.He bit his lip and looked at the occupant of the room on the other side of the screen.“Sorry.”Spock inclined his head. “I understand.” He paused. “What is the argument about?”“Same stuff it always is I guess. Mom says it’s teenaged rebellion. I say Sam is just being a jerk.”“Do they argue a lot then?”“Constantly. Mom wants Sam to do things around the house and Sam refuses. He just wants to mess with his chemicals and stuff.” Jim shrugged. “I guess that’s the way human teenagers are. I dunno.” He tapped a rhythm with his foot to the song playing, and then spun his chair around. “I think I could be a musician, maybe."“Maybe.”Jim stopped spinning. “Bet you never yell and scream at your parents.”Spock did his arching eyebrow thing. “I do not.”Jim snorted. “You never do anything to rebel, do you?”“I would not say that.”He laughed at that. Because honestly the idea of snooty, stick up his butt Spock ever doing anything wrong was just too ridiculous. This was their weekly chat that Mom pretty much made Jim do. And had made him do for the last three years. There were a few times when it wasn’t possible for their weekly meetings, so it wasn’t absolutely every week, but pretty close.“Come on, Spock. What’dja do?”“I often go up into the mountains for meditation purposes without permission.”“You call that rebellion?”“It has been forbidden by my father,” Spock insisted. “What about you, Jim?”“I dunno. I’m not a teenager yet.” Jim shrugged. “I do what Mom asks.”Spock nodded. “How are your studies going?”“Fine.” Jim fiddled with a space ship on his desk. He guessed he should ask. “Yours?”“Satisfactory.”Which was Spock’s usual answer.“And your friend, Tommy?”“Oh.” Jim leaned forward. “I was gonna tell you.”“Tell me what?”“Tommy is moving, I’m so mad.”There went that head tilt thing again.“Moving away from Riverside?”“Yup. His dad got some big important job on a new colony so they are moving off planet.”“That is interesting,” Spock replied. “What planet?”“Tarsus IV. Tommy says it’s beautiful. And he showed me pictures of their house and stuff. He’s excited.”“But you are not.”“I’m losing my best friend. I’ll probably never see him again.” He kicked at his desk. “Tommy even gets a swimming pool. And a dog! Well. He already has one. But I guess they’re gonna get another.”“You do not have a dog?”“Sam’s allergic. We can’t have any pets. He ruins everything.”“I am sure that is not true.”“It is true. Why do you always have to be on Sam’s side?”Spock sighed. “I am not. You are irritable tonight.”Jim didn’t say anything to that, because he guessed it was probably true.“You did not wish to speak to me tonight,” Spock guessed.“Well.”“I am not offended, Jim. It would be illogical to expect you would prefer to spend time with me than your other activities. I have studying to do anyway. You are dismissed from your obligation to me.”“I do want to go say goodbye to Tommy,” Jim said, hesitantly. He didn’t want it to get back to his mom that he wasn’t being nice to Spock or anything.“Then you should do so.”“You sure? We won’t be able to talk next week because we’re going to take Sam to Science Camp in Toronto.”“I recall. We will talk the week after. It is fine, Jim.”Jim scrambled up from his chair, relieved to be done with this particular chore. “Okay. Bye Spock.”“Live long and…”“Oops.” Jim had disconnected already. “Sorry, Spock,” he said to the air, then grabbed up his jacket.As he left his room, Jim noticed the yelling had stopped so that was something.“Hey, Mom?” he called out as he came down the stairs.“Yeah?”“Going over to see Tommy. They leave in the morning.”“Be back in an hour. I mean it, Jim. If I have to go to Tommy’s after you, you’re grounded!”“Okay.”He slipped out of the house and noticed Sam was in the barn with two of his friends. He was pretty sure he saw a flask in Sam’s hand. He stopped. Looked back at his house, wondering if he ought to say something to Mom.“No snitch,” he said to himself. And turned to walk the other way to Tommy’s house. It took a good fifteen minutes just to walk there.Tommy’s dad was on the porch, smoking a big pipe looking thing.“Hi, Dr. Leighton.”“Jim. Good to see you. Tommy’s in the kitchen having ice cream. Go have some with him.”Jim brightened. “Thanks, Dr. Leighton.”He went inside and found Tommy in the mostly packed up kitchen, but his friend still managed to get him a bowl of ice cream.They sat on packed boxes. Jim wasn’t sure what to say.“Thought you were talking to Spock tonight,” Tommy said after a while.“Got done.”Tommy nodded. “Good. I still think that’s weird.”“What’s weird?”“All that bond stuff. I mean, what if, when you’re an adult, you don’t want to be with him? You don’t get a choice?”Jim shook his head. “Guess not.”“Like I said. Weird.” Tommy wrinkled his nose. “Glad it’s not me.”“You’re the lucky one. Getting to go to that cool place, having a pool. Your new house is really something.”Tommy smiled. “Yeah. I can’t wait. We’ll keep in touch though, won’t we, Jim?”“Sure we will. Friends for life, right?” Jim returned his smile. “Blood brothers. Remember?”Just a couple of days ago they’d cut their fingers and then mingled their blood to declare themselves brothers.“Yeah. Blood brothers.”Jim smiled. “Good ice cream.”“Yeah.”A little while later, Jim made his way back home. Tommy sure was lucky, he thought. All Jim was going to get to do was tag along to Toronto while Sam got to go to a Camp for Science geeks.When he got inside, he said to his mom, “Hey, Mom. Think we can go to Tarsus IV someday?”“Hmm. I don’t know. I guess anything’s possible.”
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Jim made friends in Toronto almost as soon as they arrived. There were several kids there his age, some attending the Science Camp like Sam, and some were there with their families like Jim. He made friends easily.His mom had her hands full making sure that Sam attended the camp courses, so Jim was able to spend a lot of time with the friends he’d made. He was hanging out with them outside the hotel three days into the trip when one of his friends, Martin, suddenly made a derisive noise.“Oh, God, I hope that freak isn’t coming over here.”Jim who had been throwing a baseball into the air and then catching it in an old battered glove that once belonged to Sam lowered his gaze as the ball fell into his glove to see who Martin meant.Oh no.Coming toward him was Spock. He had not told Jim he was going to be in Toronto. Jim scooted back in the group of kids behind Martin and another kid.Spock’s gaze swept over them, landing very briefly on Jim. Then his gaze moved away and to the front of him.“What are you looking at, stupid freak?” Martin called after Spock as he went to the entrance of the hotel.Spock opened the door and went inside, but Jim could see that his cheeks and ears were a darker green than normal.Martin laughed. “You see all kinds of weirdos around here what with the Science Camp here. Come on, let’s get out of this area. There’s a park up the street we can play at.”Jim shook his head. “No. I…I can’t. I need to check on something.”The other boy shrugged. “Suit yourself. See you, Kirk.”He ran into the hotel lobby then and was glad to see Spock still stood waiting by the lift.“Spock!”Spock did not look at Jim, which just made Jim feel worse. “Hello.”Jim bit his lip. “I didn’t know you were going to be in Toronto.Spock simply nodded. The door of the lift opened, but Jim put his hand on Spock’s arm.“Can we talk?” Jim looked around. “There’s a table over there. By the free coffee and tea.”Spock hesitated. Jim could see the older boy didn’t want to talk to him. And honestly Jim couldn’t blame him. He felt like…well he felt bad.“Please?”Spock glanced toward the table Jim spoke of and then gave a little sigh. “Very well.”They went over to the sofa and two chairs and Jim gestured to the couch. “I’ll get you some tea. It’s probably not very good, but…”He let the sentence trail off and got them both tea. He kind of wanted the coffee, but figured his mom would go apeshit if she knew he was drinking all that caffeine. And anyway he only liked it with tons of cream and sugar. They didn’t have any hot chocolate, or he would have got that.Still he added milk and sugar to his tea, then brought a plain one over to Spock, who took it without comment.“How come you didn’t tell me you were coming?”“It was last minute. Originally, I was not to attend, but when Father had to go to Tellar Prime, Mother decided to take the opportunity to visit family in Toronto. It afforded me the chance to attend the Science Camp. By the time I had this information, you were not in communication with me.” Spock paused. “I had intended to make contact with you once here. However, I apologize if you were uncomfortable with my presence.”“About-about that. I’m sorry. I…was surprised. I’m sorry about what they said. I should have said something.”Spock didn’t say anything for a long time which mad Jim feel worse. But, um, he knew his mom would say it wasn’t about Jim felt but how Spock felt.“They were jerks.”Spock still said nothing.Jim felt tears well in his eyes. “I…I was a jerk.”“Jim,” Spock said softly. “I am used to being thought of in the manner they spoke of me. I am not accepted readily by humans or Vulcans.”He swallowed. “Well…that’s crap.”“Perhaps. I had hoped that my…T’hy’la would be more accepting of my differences.”“I…” He closed his mouth.Spock shook his head. “You are very young. I understand you seek the favor of your peers who are likeminded.”“But Spock.”Spock put the tea down untouched. “It is a small matter. Do not be concerned. I must go and prepare for the courses in the camp tomorrow.”Jim stood too. “But…will I see you again?”“We are T’hy’la, Jim. Some day we will be fully bonded when we are adults.”“No.” He took a step forward. “I mean before the Science Camp is over. In Toronto.”“I am uncertain.”“You’re mad?”“No. I am not mad. I must go.”Jim ran after Spock when he went to the lift. “Spock. I really am sorry.”Spock nodded. “I accept your apology.”The lift opened. Spock got on.Jim followed him in. “Really?”Up went the eyebrow. “I have said so.”“Can I help you study?”“I doubt that you truly wish to do so.”“No,” Jim said, quickly. “I do.”Spock shook his head. “It is not necessary, Jim. I am sure you would rather spend time with the friends you have made here. It is fine.”“But…”Spock got off on the tenth floor and the door of the lift closed leaving Jim behind.He went to his own hotel room and found his mother on her computer sitting on the couch.“Mama.”She looked startled but then smiled. “Well, it’s been a while since you called me Mama. Come here.” She patted the spot on the couch next to her. He plopped down. “What’s the matter, honey?”“Spock’s in Toronto. Did you know?”“His mother did just let me know. Their visit was unexpected. We thought we’d have dinner together tomorrow. Did you see him?” She pushed his hair off his forehead.“Uh-huh. Outside.”“That’s nice. Were you happy to see him?”Jim shook his head. “I was mean.”“What?”“The kids I was playing with said awful things and I didn’t say anything. I didn’t.” Jim felt his bottom lip tremble. He told his mother what they said to Spock. “He was hurt, Mama. And I tried to hide so he wouldn’t notice me. But he did.”“Oh, Jim. That’s—”“Bad.”“Yes,” his mother agreed. “You have to apologize.”“I did. And he said it was okay, but he was upset.”“Oh, honey.” She sighed. “Of course he was. It’s hard for him to fit in here. I don’t know what to do with you and your brother.”“What did Sam do?”She gave him a look. “Never mind that. You’re staying in the rest of today. And I want you to think about your behavior. These boys you’ve been hanging out with aren’t nice, Jim.”“I know.”“I hope you do. What they said to Spock was horrible. And I certainly hope you don’t think like that.”“I don’t.”“Good. No more hanging out with those boys. And tomorrow, you apologize again to Spock.”“Yes, Mama.”She sighed again. “Are you hungry?”“Nope.” He didn’t think he could eat anything. His stomach was hurting, and his throat was raw and lumpy.“Okay. Go and read your books for now. All right?”“Yes, Mama.”She smiled a little. “It’ll be okay, Jim. I know you’re sorry.”He nodded, got up, and went to get his book to read. He wiped his eyes and picked up his PADD. He sent a message to Spock.
I’m sorry.
But there was no response from Spock for a long time.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Logically, Spock knew that Jim had given into peer pressure with his behavior toward Spock in front of the hotel. Jim was a fully human child and given to emotionalism as Spock well knew from his prior experiences with the younger boy.But when he had admitted to Jim that he had hoped to have more acceptance from someone who was supposed to be his T’hy’la, it was true. And as illogical as it was, the knowledge that Jim was just like any other boy he’d ever known… hurt.He tried not to let it, but Spock himself was half human and could only go so far in trying to repress his emotions. He had every intention of improving that prospect of emotional stagnancy someday through Kolinahr. The fact that his T’hy’la was human made Spock realize it was necessary to do so even more so.If Jim was who Spock thought he was.Perhaps it was the illogical sting of hurt and rejection Spock felt, but he had begun to wonder if all those years ago when Jim was little more than a baby and Spock, not old himself, had declared him T’hy’la, if Spock had not, actually, gotten it terribly wrong.Certainly, the adults at the time had seem to come to the conclusion that Spock was right, but adults could be wrong also. Perhaps they had all been influenced at the time by Spock’s seeming desire to have Jim be what he declared him to be. Spock was not sure.Once Spock left Toronto to return to Vulcan, he intended to speak with his father about it. Admittedly, he was certain Sarek would—to put it a human way—pounce on the idea Jim was not Spock’s T’hy’la. And if they still determined that Jim was, then Spock intended to discuss how soon he could begin the study of Kolinahr. He thought that was the most logical course going forward.“Spock?”“Yes Mother?”“You have a visitor.”Spock barely repressed a frown as he set his PADD aside and got up from the hotel bed he had been reclining on. The only one he could think of who would come to see him would be Jim. And that thought, at present, was not entirely welcome.Still, his mother had chosen to allow Jim access to their rooms, rather than turning Jim away, so Spock decided she must have thought it best Spock deal with him.Spock paused to pull on a maroon pullover sweater before going out into the main area of the suite of rooms they had in the hotel.Sure enough, Jim stood there next to Mother, looking somehow tinier and more shrunk into himself than last Spock saw him. And he had a twinge of sympathy for it, that only made him angry at himself. He should not be feeling sorry for Jim.Mother smiled. “Shall I make you some tea?”“I am certain Jim will not be staying long enough for that,” Spock said.She shook her head at him, which he knew was her version of reproach. “Jim can stay long enough for tea. Can’t you, Jim?”“Yes, ma’am.”“I’ll be over there in the kitchenette making it then.” Mother moved off and away, leaving Spock to stand there with Jim who had also changed clothes since last Spock saw him.He still wore jeans, but he wore a large oversized shirt that looked like it would fit his older brother, Sam. Spock suspected it was the reason he looked smaller and more shrunken in, and he decided that Jim had worn it deliberately to manipulate Spock into seeing Jim as vulnerable. Or Jim’s mother had. Whichever.Jim had been holding something wrapped in a napkin which he now thrust rather awkwardly in Spock’s direction.Spock stared at it but made no move to take it.“It’s a peace offering.”“I see.”“A brownie.”“I do not…”“A-a vegan one. It’s vegan.” Jim licked his lips and held it out further for Spock to take.This time Spock took it, though he was uncertain what he should do with it just then.“Maybe we can, um, share it over tea.”“I do not—”“Tea’s ready,” Mother called from the kitchen.Spock withheld a very un-Vulcan grimace and followed Jim toward the kitchen. Mother had set two cups next to a pot of tea on the table there, as well as plates for the brownie, apparently. Spock handed it to her and with a smile she cut it, a half for each of them.“I’ll be at my desk over there doing correspondence if you need me.” And she drifted off again.Spock gestured to the table. “Sit.”Jim dutifully took his seat as Spock carefully poured them tea.After a small bite of the brownie, Jim made a face. “Doesn’t taste real good.”“Where did you acquire it?”“A bakery two doors down from the hotel. I don’t know much about baking or I would have made it myself.”“I assure you this is all unnecessary. I have already accepted your apology.”Jim smiled just a little. “Nope. You haven’t.”“I have so.”He shook his head. “You’re still mad.”“I am not angry.”“Upset then.”Spock blew out a breath. “I do not intend to engage in an illogical back and forth argument with you. You are what you are and I have accepted that. I cannot change it. Or you.”Jim frowned. “What’s all that mean?”“Nothing you need concern yourself with.” Spock took a bite of the brownie and chewed. Despite Jim’s opinion, it tasted good to Spock. “However, I should inform you of something that does affect your future.”Jim took a sip of his tea. “Yeah?”“I have come to the conclusion that I may have been mistaken all those years ago.”“About what?”“That we are not, in fact, t’hy’la. Fated mates to make it simpler for you.”Jim’s frown deepened. “But didn’t they say we were?”“They did but—”“Is this because of what happened with those other kids?”Spock shook his head. “Not entirely. I have been considering the matter for a small period of time. Anyway, I intend to inquire with my father about it when I return to Vulcan.”“Oh sure. He hates me.”“He does not hate you, Jim. But this is part of what makes me doubt our compatibility.”“Huh?”“You react so emotionally to everything. Not everything is so black and white as to be hate or love. There can be ambivalence.”Jim snorted and rolled his eyes. “That’s just a big word for he doesn’t like me.”“Jim.”“And you don’t either. Isn’t that what this is? I’m just a stupid human who hurt you so you’re going to see if it’s okay to dump me?”“Another example of your emotional infancy.”Jim pulled on his lip with his teeth. “Did you call me a baby?”“I am merely trying to explain that I could have been wrong when I declared us t’hy’la. We were both very small children. If we are, in fact, then I accept it, but surely it does no harm to reiterate the information. Does it?”Jim scrunched his face in consternation. “I guess. Okay.”Spock nodded, satisfied. “Nothing may change.”Jim lowered his gaze for a moment. He muttered, “Yeah, everything’s changed.” Then he looked at Spock and nodded. “I have to go. I’m really sorry for what happened earlier and I hope someday that I can show you that I am and that you’ll believe me.” He got up from the table. “Bye, Spock.”And then he left the hotel room.Spock finished both halves of the brownie and found himself strangely sulky.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Three Years Later “But I don’t want to go to Vulcan for the summer.”His mother sighed. “You’ve made that abundantly clear. But you’re still going.”Jim crossed his arms in front of his chest and glared. “It’s not fair.”“Seems plenty fair to me.” She stood in the doorway of his bedroom in their farmhouse which they would soon be leaving. She’d made the decision to rent it out rather than outright selling it. Her position on Tarsus IV was only supposed to last for two years. She gestured to his suitcase. “Finish packing.”“He doesn’t even like me,” Jim said, petulantly.“Whose fault is that?”“Well. And whose side are you on anyhow?” Jim tossed a drawer full of underwear and socks in his suitcase.“I’m on the side of my sweet little boy who never used to make fun of anyone, that’s who.”“I said I was sorry like a dozen times. He didn’t accept. And hasn’t even talked to me for three years. What if he doesn’t talk to me the whole summer?”His mom shrugged. “You can talk to Amanda. She’s thrilled you’re coming. Arranged the whole thing. Thinks it would do you both a world of good.”“But I wanted to go to Tarsus with you and Sam! Tommy’s there and—”“And Tommy will be there when the summer is over, and you join us. It’s only three months.”“Three whole months!”“Lord save me from a dramatic twelve year old. We wouldn’t have even have thought to do this except you two aren’t talking and it’s gone on long enough. You’re tweela and…”“T’hy’la”“Right. That Vulcan thing and if you’re going to spend the rest of your lives together, you need to get along.”“Well. Maybe I don’t want to. Why do we have to pay any attention to what the Vulcans say anyway? You got to be with Dad, and it wasn’t some predestined nonsense spoken by some old crone.”“James Tiberius.”“Well.”“I knew I should have boxed your ears when you were little. Keep packing. And more underwear. That’s only a few pairs I see.”“Ain’t it hot there?” It had been years since Jim had been there and he hardly remembered it as he’d been not much more than a toddler.“Isn’t it and yes, so what?”Jim sighed. “Probably roast to death.”“And you will do so wearing your underwear. For heaven’s sake.”“How come Spock can’t just come to Tarsus IV for the summer instead?”“Because he’s studying and can’t miss his studies.”Jim frowned. “But it’s summer.”“Vulcans don’t take time off from school for summer. He’s fifteen now and is very serious about his schooling.”“Oh great. This is going to be loads of fun.”“Try not to be an obnoxious brat. Amanda will make it fun and interesting for you, I’m sure.”“She’s nice. Sure. But she’s still a grownup and she’s hardly going to be very entertaining.”His mom smiled. “Maybe you can learn all about Vulcans and their history and the planet. All of that. That could be interesting.”“Maybe,” Jim agreed reluctantly. “If Sarek doesn’t send me right off the planet as soon as I get there.”“You will address him respectfully. You should call him sir or Ambassador. But not just Sarek. Vulcans are quite formal”“Yeah, yeah.”“More underwear.”****“Say hi to Tommy for me,” Jim said to Sam as they were at the shuttle bay together.Mom and Sam were getting on the one headed for Tarsus IV. Jim, of course, what luck, was headed for Vulcan.“What the hell do you see in Tom Leighton anyway?” Sam shoved at Jim. He was sixteen now and as big of a pain in the ass as ever.“I like him. He’s my best friend.”“Cause he’s a dork like you.” Sam grabbed him around the neck and gave him a noogie on the head.“Ouch. Mom!”“Sam, stop that and release your brother.”Sam let him go and smirked. “I’ll tell him you said hi. Don’t worry.”“Thanks,” Jim mumbled.“It’ll be over before you know it, Jim. Three months is hardly anything.”“I guess.”Sam’s smirk widened. “It’s hot as Hades.”Jim rolled his eyes. “Yeah. I mean I’ve heard that. Don’t remember much.”Sam nodded. “It’s hot. You got all your asthma stuff with you?”“Uh-huh.”“Your meditation robe?”“Sure…wait. What? My meditation robe?”“You’ll probably want to sit and stare at each other silently or something.” Sam shrugged. “How should I know?”“I am not doing that.”His brother chuckled. “Yeah. Can’t really see you staying still for long.”
“Boarding the Vulcan Shuttle. Boarding the Vulcan shuttle.”
Sam stared at him seriously. “That’s you, punk.”Jim nodded, suddenly feeling sadder than he’d ever been.His mom appeared, bent down and gave him a big hug. “You send us a message when you get there.”“Okay.”“And every day after too.”“Okay.”“It’ll be fine, honey. Now say goodbye to Sam.”Jim stared at his older brother. He couldn’t shake this really bad feeling. He swallowed, shook his head and whispered, “See you.”Sam gave him a one armed hug. “See you, punk. Behave.”Jim turned then and walked toward the boarding area. He wiped his eyes when he thought he was out of eyesight of his mom and brother.He handed the electronic ticket to the imperious looking Vulcan standing guard.“James Tiberius Kirk.”“Yes, sir.”“Visiting?”“Sar…Ambassador Sarek, his wife Amanda, and their son, Spock.”The Vulcan nodded. “Take your stuff and board then.”Jim bit his lip and looked back in the direction he’d come. But his mom and Sam had long since moved away. He was alone.And going to hostile territory.“Board the shuttle,” the Vulcan said again, more firmly.“Yes, sir.” Jim picked his bag up and walked up the ramp to take his place inside.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
The minute Jim stepped off the shuttle on Vulcan, he felt both the significant change and temperature and the atmosphere. His chest felt tight and beads of sweat covered his neck as though they’d been waiting all their lives to appear there.Standing below the long stairway he’d had to climb down to reach solid ground were Amanda Grayson and her son, Spock. He was fifteen now, Jim realized. And it showed. He was mature looking and gone were all the awkward skinny lines of his youth. He looked…intimidating. And cute. Like if there as such thing as a Vulcan heartthrob, Spock would be it.And that intimidated Jim even more.In the last year, as he began to approach his teenaged years, his face had started breaking out with acne. His teeth got crooked too, so his mother had insisted on braces. Thank God, they were the invisiblish kind at least, though Jim was quite sure they looked terrible and were obvious. And then there were the glasses. Jim couldn’t see a darn thing without them. They’d looked into other methods of correcting his vision, but he seemed to be allergic to everything.The point was…Jim was ugly and awkward looking. He knew he was. And Spock was…definitely not.The weirdest thing was the two of them, Amanda and Spock, were dressed as though it was fifty degrees out. Spock had on black slacks and a black pullover sweater, and yeah, it was a really good look, but it looked like Spock wanted to boil himself alive in it. And Amanda had on a long dress with long sleeves and a flowered scarf covering her hair. Maybe she was allergic to the hot sun and was trying to avoid it.She waved as Jim finally took the last step of the stairs off the shuttle to the ground. He swayed a little.“Oh dear. Jim. You don’t look well. You’re too hot already, aren’t you dear?”“Yeah.” He cleared his throat, remember Mom told him to be polite. “Yes, ma’am.”Amanda smiled. “We’ll get you to our home as quickly as possible so you can get some relief. We’ve set up your room with air conditioning.”“Oh.” Jim nodded. “Thank you. That’s very kind.” He looked at Spock who stared blankly back at him. Looked like his eyes had gotten darker too. “Uh. Hi, Spock.”“Hello.”His voice got deeper too.Shoot. Jim didn’t want some crush on Spock. It was bad enough Spock probably hated him now.“Come on then. Let’s get going. Spock, take Jim’s luggage, please.”“I can…” His voice squeaked. Jim closed his mouth. Spock ignored him and picked up Jim’s bags to carry.Jim fanned himself as she led them both towards a hover car. “Is it…” Gosh, squeaking again.Amanda turned to him with a smile. “Yes, dear?”“Just.” Cleared his throat again. His glasses were fogging up from his panting hot breaths too. “Wondered if, uh, you know, how do you get used to the heat and the atmosphere.”“I’ve been here for so long I barely remember or are bothered by it now. In the beginning, I needed help breathing like you will. But, yes, I did adapt.”She opened the car. “In you go.Jim got inside and sat in the back while Spock and Amanda got into the front. Well, Spock did after throwing Jim’s bags in the back.“We’ve been looking so forward to seeing you, Jim. It’s been a long time. Hasn’t it, Spock?”“Three years,” Spock replied tonelessly.“That’s right. Well, you were the age Jim is now back then. My how you’ve both grown since then. You got glasses, Jim.”“Yes, ma’am.”“Braces too, I see.”Jim scooted further down in the seat. “Yeah.”“I had those too, of course, when I was a teen. Well you aren’t quite one, but getting there. I guess I was about fourteen when I got mine. Spock’s teeth, well, he didn’t seem to need them. He got his teeth from the Vulcan side.” She laughed at that.Jim figured Spock would be that lucky.The journey to their house wasn’t long and Amanda chattered the whole way. Spock only spoke when spoken to and even though he wasn’t particularly rude to Jim, Jim was pretty sure he still didn’t like Jim one bit.He’d never heard anything about their T’hy’la bond after they parted in Toronto. Spock didn’t contact him, but Jim figured if he had found out he was wrong, Spock would have gleefully done that. So that must mean Spock decided he was stuck with Jim after all.Jim hadn’t remembered much from his brief time on Vulcan as a small child, but now as they approached, he realized they pretty much lived in a mansion. He supposed being an ambassador important like Sarek had its advantages.Once inside the house, Amanda turned to him.“Do you need a shot for your breathing now, Jim? You brought some with you, right?”“Yes, ma’am.” Jim bent down and picked up the medical bag he’d brough with him. He fished out a shot, which she took from him and injected into the side of his neck.“Better?”He nodded.“Spock, why don’t you take Jim and his things and show him his room so he can get settled before dinner? Jim, we’ll have dinner in about an hour and a half. You can settle yourself in that time. Contact your mom if you want.”“Okay.”Jim followed after Spock, who had picked up Jim’s bags again, and took him down a long hallway and then up a staircase. At the end of this next corridor, he stopped before a room and opened it.“This is where you will stay while here.”Spock carried Jim’s things and Jim followed inside. He instantly felt cool relief. Then he saw a big bed and a dresser and closet, and a private bathroom. Even a desk with a terminal and a chair.“It’s nice,” he said out loud.Spock bowed. “I’ll leave you to it.”“Wait. Spock. Can-can I ask you something?”“Very well.”“Are you…okay?”“I am.” Spock turned toward the door.“I mean…we haven’t really spoken in three years.”Spock turned back to face Jim. “I have been busy with studies. I have had little time for frivolities such as online communications.”Jim bit his lip. “Yeah. Okay. Did you…you were going to make inquiries about our status.”Spock inclined his head. “Correct. I was advised that I was not mistaken as a child.”“Oh.”“If you will excuse me, it is time for me to meditate.”“You could…” Jim winced when he saw Spock’s shoulders stiffen as he was once more kept from leaving by Jim. “You could maybe teach me how to do that.”Spock arched his brow. “Do what?”“Meditate.”“To what purpose?”Jim shrugged. “So we could…meditate together. Like you know, um, co…a couple of friends.”“I see.” Spock shook his head. “I am afraid I do not believe you would take to meditation, Jim. It requires a certain level of discipline that you lack. I will see you at dinner.”And with that Spock was gone. And Jim was told.He blew out a breath. This was going to be the worst summer of his life. He could see that now.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Dear Mama
I hope this correspondence finds you well.
I apologize for the tardiness of my reply. And for the rather formal tone of this message. I find that I am experiencing, perhaps, unwilling influence by the company I have been keeping of late.
In all seriousness and fairness, I am getting along well with Spock and his family here on Vulcan. All Vulcans have treated me fairly and kindly although impersonally in my interactions with them. I believe they find me…fascinating…in their own way. A bit of a curiosity.
It’s hot here. I mean really hot. But I am okay as long as I have my breathing shots and stuff like that. And my personal bedroom is kept cool to my liking. The food is rather bland for the most part, though Spock’s mother has made an occasional Earth treat for the two of us.
As for the school here, I am adapting well, and can keep up with my classmates admirably. That’s a direct quote from a certain someone. My days are filled with study and learning Vulcan. Apparently that is required of me.
My nights are spent playing chess, reading, and playing Earth board games with my hosts. I beat them every time. I swear I am not bragging.
It’s not as terrible as I thought it would be. But I am rather bored much of the time. They just don’t like to do much here. I once asked Spock if he’d like to go out and play catch with me. He looked at me quite perplexed and said, “Catch what?”
I have not tried since.
I will write more often. But for now, Spock’s mother is setting up Scrabble. She made Vulcan cookies. I have not yet found out if they are a bland form of cookies Vulcans enjoy or cookies shaped like Vulcans. Are you smiling? I will let you know.
Your son, Jim
Jim paused, staring at the letter on the screen until his eyes crossed.He wasn’t certain he should send it.It was a lie.He’d been on Vulcan with Spock and his family for close to four weeks now and he felt more alone than he’d ever felt in his life.Amanda did try, that part was true. She did play scrabble with Jim a time or two, but only with Jim. Spock and Sarek did not play games, not Human ones anyway.And he did play chess, but with the computer, not Spock. He’d asked a few times and been told that Spock had studying and meditation to do.At first, Jim had been affronted and sad over it. He might have cried himself to sleep, not that he’d admit that to anyone, but now he simply didn’t bother.But his mom was far away on Tarsus IV and shouldn’t have to worry that Jim’s supposed mate hated him.Jim hit send and watched the email be sent off.He had tried to attend school there, and he could keep up with his classmates, but he was treated with such utter derision by them, and his instructors, Jim had asked Amanda if he could just learn at her house in his room.Her eyes had gotten very sad. “Oh, Jim. Is that necessary?”It had taken him a long time to answer, but then he had said, reluctantly, “No, I guess not.”But then she had let him stay in and be home schooled. She was a former teacher herself and made sure he learned what he needed to learn, including Vulcan.Jim heard the door next to him open and knew that Spock had left his room. He considered whether he should once more make an effort with Spock and figured, at the moment, he had nothing better to do, so he stood up, went to the door, and walked out into the hallway in time to see Spock standing near his bedroom door.Spock wore black pants and a black sweater. He seemed to prefer that color and Jim figured it was because he looked wicked cool.“Hi Spock.”“Good Afternoon.”Jim noticed he had a small backpack draped over his shoulders. “Going somewhere?”“For a walk, yes.”Jim straightened, took a deep breath, and said, “May I come?”“It will be very hot—”“Yes, I know. It’s fine. I can deal. I have my shots.”Spock opened his mouth, no doubt with another rejective phrase, but then he closed it, and nodded. “Very well. But bring water.”“Okay.” Jim would bring ten waters. He was just happy Spock was allowing this.After Jim got his water, putting it in Spock’s backpack because Spock had insisted, they went outside into the blazing desert heat. Jim saw Spock eyeing him and decided he would ignore it. Probably thought Jim would instantly melt.“Thanks for letting me come along,” he said instead, as they began to walk away from the house.“You did seem insistent.”“Well. I mean for all I know you’ll leave me lost in the desert to die at the first chance you get.”Spock stopped walking. “I would never do that.”“Spock.” Jim sighed. “It was a joke.”“I failed to see the humor.”“Yeah. I mean, you don’t seem to get my humor, that’s for sure. I used to think you were just uptight but…”Spock bristled and began to walk again so Jim did too. “I see.”“I said used to. Listen, it’s super clear that you don’t like me.”“I do not dislike you.”Jim laughed at that. “Yeah you do. Look, I know I was a pain in the ass kid before. And then last time we met, I was immature and let peer pressure get to me and made me act like a douche.”“I…”“The point is, I get it. I don’t blame you.”Spock shook his head, but he was not looking at Jim. “I was certain it was you who do not like me.”Jim shrugged. “I was a kid.”“You are still a kid.”Jim rolled his eyes. “Okay, a little kid. And super confused to be told that I had this…soulmate.”“T’hy’la.”“Yeah, I know. It was all strange.”“Strange to me as well.”“Yeah, and I didn’t make it easy. So, thanks for letting me go with you. I’m pretty sure you still don’t like me, but maybe, it’s a start?”Jim tried not to sound too hopeful or too much like a dork, but he figured he probably didn’t succeed that much.Spock looked toward him for the first time in several minutes. “Yes. It is a start.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Spock looked at the younger boy in silence for a bit. It was plain enough Jim was suffering in the afternoon heat and had been for some time, but stubbornly refused to say anything, stop, or head back.Humans, based on his own experience with his Mother and a few others, were notoriously obstinate. Spock shouldn’t be particularly surprised that Jim would be amongst the highest in that category.What had been surprising was that Jim had trudged ahead of Spock, all the while sweat soaking his clothes, and his skin turning a rather alarming shade of red.“Jim, stop.”Jim continued to take a few more steps.“Stop!”Jim froze in place, turned to face Spock, and scrunched up his face. “What?”“It is not necessary to pretend that you aren’t completely hot and miserable.”Jim nodded and placed his bag on the ground in front of him. “I am hot. Super-duper hot. I wouldn’t say miserable though.”“Why not?”“Well. For the first time since I arrived here, we’re actually doing something together.”Spock sighed. “You are making me feel incredibly guilty.”Jim smiled, to Spock’s surprise. “Yeah? That’s a bit of a win.”“You little…”“Shit. Yeah, I know. That’s likely never going to change. Did you really intend to go out this way for a walk this long? Because damn, why?”“My body is adaptable to such temperatures. Yours is not.” Spock walked over to Jim, opened the younger man’s bag and removed one of his shots. “You should have used one of these before.”“Yeah, probably.” Jim leaned his hand on Spock’s arm as Spock pushed the shot into Jim’s neck. “Why did you not then?”“I wanted to see if I could be as tough as you.”“You cannot.”Jim snorted. “No kidding. You wanna go further?”Spock hesitated and then shook his head. “Not with your conditioning. We will need to build up your stamina for future walks if you wish to keep going with me.”“Well, I don’t want to hold you back or anything, but it is nice you’re not treating me like a bug.”Spock bristled. “I did not treat you like a bug.”Jim shrugged. “Kinda. Can we sit somewhere while I catch my breath?”Spock looked around and spotted some rocks not too far off the path. “Nothing is shaded, but there are rocks over there.”Jim glanced to where he pointe. “Okay. Can you maybe help me a little to get over there? My legs feel a little wobbly.”“Jim.” Spock’s mouth thinned. “You waited far too long to seek rest.”“I know, I know.”Spock went to take Jim’s arm, but then Jim sort of stumbled. He frowned and picked up both of their packs and then bent down to wrap the boy around the waist and hoist him up over his shoulder.“Hey!”“This will be far easier for both of us,” Spock insisted. “Stop wiggling or I will drop you.”Jim stopped trying to fight it and allowed Spock to carry him over to the rocks, where he placed him gently down. Spock gave Jim water to drink.“Thanks,” Jim muttered as Spock lowered himself next to the boy.“It is time that you and I had a conversation.”“Ya think?”Spock ignored the sarcastic tone. “Yes. First of all, I forgive you for the unkind way you behaved three years ago.”Jim eyed him. “Sounds like you mean that.”“I do. It was illogical to hold a grudge and yet I had the very human reaction to do just that. I regret it and offer my apologies for not accepting that you were sorry before.”Jim bit his lip. “I was. I am. Yeah. It was really an awful thing to do, Spock, and I was just…”“Being a kid. I know. I get it. Drink the water.”Jim took a sip. “And I’m sorry I didn’t want to come here.”“Because of me.”“Well. Some. I mean, you didn’t really talk to me for three years and I don’t blame you. I probably would have reacted worse than you. But I really wanted to go with Mom and Sam to Tarsus IV.”“Because of Tommy.”“Well, yeah. He is my friend. My best friend.”Spock winced before he could stop himself.Jim smiled a little and patted Spock’s knee. “Other than you.”It was Spock’s turn to snort.“Right. I know that is not true, Jim. But we can work on it. And I am sorry you did not get to go with your mother and brother, but that was not something I had control of or was I even asked. I was told you were coming here just as you were.”“I know. And maybe I had a bad attitude coming here so I could see why you were reluctant to teach me to meditate or spend time with you.”Spock gave him a look. “Do you really think you are capable of sitting still long enough to learn meditation?”Jim laughed. Spock found that he liked it when Jim laughed better than when he looked as though he wanted to be anywhere but with Spock. By a lot.“Nah. You’re probably right about that. Sitting all cross-legged and ohming and all that? Not for me.”“I do not ohm.”“You know what I mean. But I like the idea of walking with you. Adventures. That sounds good. And stamina building. I really am hot and miserable. And hungry. Really hungry.”“When you are rested and hydrated enough we will go home.”“Okay.” Jim patted Spock’s knee again. “See, this is much better, huh?”“Yes,” Spock agreed. “Much preferable.” He studied Jim. “You still look red.”“Yep, Like a cooked lobster I’m sure. I’m probably burnt to a crisp.”Spock shook his head. “Humans.”Jim laughed again. Took another sip of water. “I’d race you back but you’d beat me by a mile.”“Or two.”“Yeah.” Jim’s smile widened. “Yeah.”He used Spock shoulder to hoist himself up off the rock.“Come on. Last one there is a rotten egg.”And he took off running.Spock shook his head. “Jim! It’s the other way.”
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Sometimes Jim could admit that he lived in his own little world too much. In his head, his mom would say. Too much inward looking inside himself. Too much thinking.And yet…something was wrong and Jim could feel it. His last few video calls with his mother were…odd. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it. She acted okay. Almost too okay, really. She reminded him of the way he had been in his fake letters to her when he’d first arrived on Vulcan to stay with Spock and his parents.That was better, now. It was. Not perfect, no. But Spock didn’t shut him out or down anymore. There were times Jim still got the impression Spock had little patience for him and would rather hang out with others his own age than be bothered with the young human, but some of that, Jim figured, was his imagination. Spock was kind to him now. And made significant effort to include him.“Mom, what’s wrong?”“What? Oh, honey, nothing’s wrong. Nothing. Everything is great. Tarsus IV is such a beautiful planet.”“Mom…”She looked off screen. “Your brother is home, I should…”“I’d love to talk to him too. Why don’t you bring him to the screen?”“Oh. I would. But he’s got a friend with him. I need to go and make them some dinner. Next time. Bye Jim.”“Mom…”But she was gone. The screen was blank.There was a knock on his bedroom door.“Come in.”He already figured it was Spock. And yes, it was. He wore what he referred to as his meditation robes. Jim thought it was beyond weird to have a special outfit for that.“Done with your meditation, then?”“Yes.” Spock handed a plate to Jim which had some of the bread his mother liked to make. Jim had a fondness for it. “Mother asked me to bring this to you. Your call with your mother ran short?”“Oh! Cool. I was getting hungry again.” He took the plate and took a big bite, then chewed. “Yes. Guess she had to go.”“You are distressed.” Spock sat on the bed beside Jim’s desk.“You can tell that through our mind link thing?”Spock looked vaguely amused. “Negative. I can tell from the expression on your face.” He paused. “Jim, I do not have some kind of super detection method into your mind.”“No?”“At least not yet. Our link is very preliminary at this stage in our development. Even if I had contact with your skin I would get nothing but a vague hint of emotions.”Jim nodded. “Okay, cool. And yeah, whether you’re a mind reader or not, I’m feeling kinda…apprehensive.”“Because of your talk with your mother?”And that right there, in Jim’s humble opinion, showed their progress. Jim was fairly certain, if they hadn’t reached the peaceful camaraderie they had, Spock would have asked if it was something he had done to upset Jim.“Uh-huh. Something’s off, Spock. She’s…fake.”“Fake?”“I know my mother, you know, and this-this is like some weird Stepford.”Spock frowned. “Stepford?”“A very old Earth reference. It means, I don’t know, too perfect, plastic. Or like the Invasion of the Body Snatchers.”“You believe your mother has been replaced?”Jim laughed despite it being not that funny. “Nah, I don’t think that. It’s just like she’s acting. Maybe so I won’t worry, I don’t know.”“If you would like, I will ask my father to look into any rumors or issues with Tarsus IV. With his ambassadorial duties he may be able to learn more than you can.”“Yeah? That would be fantastic. Thank you. I mean I’ve tried to find stuff out, but I can’t really find anything. All the news that comes out of Governor Kodos’ office is all positive, right? ‘You should move your whole family here on this planet that’s just like paradise’ that kind of thing. And I even tried some hacking but can’t get in. I’ll keep trying but…”“Jim, do not do anything that can get you into trouble.”“I’m careful, honest. But thank you for getting your dad to help, I bet he can find something out.”“I will always endeavor to assist you and your family in any way I am able to, Jim. You are my T’hy’la.” Spock stood. “I have studies to attend to at the moment. I will see you later this evening.”“Okay. Thanks.”Jim watched Spock leave and close Jim’s bedroom door once more. He picked up another piece of bread and popped it into his mouth.He brought up the profile for Governor Kodos. It was a glowing description of a politician. All the things he had done and said to get where he was today, leader of the colony where Jim’s family currently lived. He stared at the image of the man for a long time. The hair on the back of his neck prickled.
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“I want to go to Tarsus.”Spock looked up from the terminal in his bedroom to stare at Jim. “What?”Jim had his hands clenched together and his blue eyes looked huge in his pale face.“I-I’m worried about my mom and brother, Spock. Things are getting stranger and I…have you found out anything? Your dad?”Spock folded his own hands in front of him and leaned back slightly in his chair. He was unsure how to answer. The news was not good and would likely make Jim want even more to go to Tarsus and Spock absolutely could not allow that. He didn’t want to lie, however, or even omit the truth.“He has…learned some information, yes.”Jim took a step forward. “Yeah? What? Are they okay?”“Tarsus is experiencing civil unrest,” Spock said carefully.“What does that mean?”Spock pursed his lips. “There are riots in the main city. They are not close to where you mother and brother are staying, but there is indication that it is spreading further out from the city. There has been violence, looting, and burning.”Jim got paler still. “Over-over what?”“There is a…shortage of food. Edible food. There have been reports of a fungal infection that has destroyed most of the food grown on the planet.”“What?”“The government has no answer for the citizens and there is a certain amount of panic. My father is…”“Oh my God. I have to go. I have to go help them!”“Jim.” Spock exhaled very slowly. He shook his head. “That is not possible.”He saw a very stubborn glint enter Jim’s eyes and he raised his chin mulishly. “Of course it is.”“No, it is not. Very few are being permitted to travel there right now and Governor Kodos is assuring the Federation he has everything under control and has convinced them for the moment.”Jim narrowed his eyes. “I bet your dad could get me there.”“Even if he could, he would not. You are not going there, Jim.”“Spock!”“There is no way that I can allow you to travel to a planet where a dangerous situation is underway. Your safety—”“You can’t allow? Wanna bet?!”Spock wished for calm. After a moment, he got it.“Yes I would wager, as a matter of fact. You are a minor being taken care of by my family under the direction and authority of your mother who wished for you to stay here. And here on Vulcan is where you will remain.”Jim turned red, stomped his feet, and turned toward the door of Spock’s room. But then he turned around.“I hate you! You’re the worst T’hy’la ever.”Spock’s nostrils flared but he nodded. “Then you can hate me here where I am certain you are safe.”Jim left and after a moment, Spock heard the door slam to Jim’s room.Spock closed his eyes.****When Spock woke very early the next morning, he leaned over his bed to see that Jim was lying on the floor next to his bed, a pillow he had absconded with from Spock’s bed, under his head.A lump formed in his throat as he studied his sleeping T’hy’la. And he knew what he had to do. Spock got out of bed and carefully picked Jim up and put him on the bed to continue sleeping. To make sure the younger boy didn’t wake any time soon, he put his fingers on Jim’s temples.“Sleep, Jim.”And then he prepared for his journey.****When Jim woke up, he realized it must be very late. And he was lying in Spock’s bed.Something felt very wrong. Very off. His bond with Spock felt weird, different. He didn’t know why or what it meant.“Spock?”He got up and ran out of the room.“Spock?”Spock ran through the whole house calling for Spock. He didn’t find him. Or Spock’s father.When he reached the kitchen, Spock’s mother, Amanda was there, and she appeared to be baking. She stopped what she was doing and looked quizzically at him.“Jim! You’re finally up. Are you hungry?”“Where is Spock?”“I’ve got some food ready for you and there’s tea made.”Jim shook his head. “Spock?”“Well, he’s not here right now, Jim. He left early this morning, but—”“And Sarek?”Amanda smiled. “He’s not here either. They went together.”“Where did they go?”“Sarek didn’t say. He often doesn’t,” she said with a sigh.“Does Spock go with him often?”“Not always but he sometimes does. Especially if they’re going to one of the farther cities out on Vulcan. Spock likes to study at one of the libraries there. I don’t know if that’s where they’ve gone, but I’m sure it’s nothing to worry about. Why don’t you have a seat at the table, and I’ll get you something to eat.”Jim bit his lip. “Where did they go? When will they be back?”“I’m not sure when they’ll be back, Jim. Usually Sarek’s gone a few days. But don’t worry about it, sweetheart. I’m sure they’ll be back in no time.”Jim clenched his fists. “I should get dressed.” He was still wearing his pajamas after all.“Okay.” She nodded. “Come back out when you’re done, and we’ll have lunch.”Jim started to turn away.“Did he leave me a message?”Amanda shook her head. “Afraid not.”He nodded and went back to the bedrooms. He leaned against his own bedroom door, his heart thundering hard in his chest.“Spock,” he whispered.His bond was more quiet than he’d ever known it. Even when Spock didn’t want to speak to him. And though it was never that active, Jim knew the difference.And he was afraid.
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Jim was aware Amanda watched him as he sat with her for dinner. Spock and his father had now been gone three days and Jim was pretty sure he was losing his mind.Not literally, he guessed.Amanda put down her fork and stopped pretending to eat the vegetarian lasagna she had made for them. “Jim.”He looked up from staring at his plate. “Yeah?”“It’s time we talk about why you’re so upset.”Jim didn’t say anything. Just waited for her to continue.“Do you know something about where Spock and Sarek went?”“Do you?”Amanda sighed a little. “I thought I did. I assumed they went to the other side of Vulcan. There’s a lake there that they sometimes go to. A sort of retreat. Sarek has been…” She sighed again.”“What?”“This is really something they should discuss with you rather than me, but since they have not…Sarek has been encouraging Spock to become fully Vulcan.”He frowned. “He can’t be, can he?”She smiled very slightly. “Biologically no. Sarek encourages Spock to dismiss his emotions and embrace nothing but logic. There is a temple on Vulcan where this is done. It takes some many months.”“Dismiss his emotions? I don’t get it.”“Kolinahr. I hoped with you here, Spock would think more carefully about it.” She shook her head. “I assume their trip had something to do with that. The priests there, to discuss. But you…you do not. Will you tell me what you’re afraid of?”Jim wanted to deny he was afraid, but it was accurate enough.He blew out a shaky breath. “I thought maybe they’d gone to Tarsus IV?”“Tarsus IV? Why would they go there? Did your mom say there were in trouble?”“No,” Jim admitted. “She hasn’t said anything. At all. I mean…” Jim took out his PADD. He brought up the research he’d done and handed it to Spock’s mom.Amanda took it and perused it. Jim watched her face turn from curiosity to concern.“Oh.” She bit her lip. “I haven’t heard about any of this.”“I know. I think they are trying to hide it from everyone. Mom even. She didn’t want to worry me. But…I told all this to Spock and then, I don’t know, he left. I didn’t mean for him to go there or anything.”“Of course you didn’t. And honestly, Jim, it’s just as possible that where I think they went is where they did.”Jim nodded. “Okay, but the bond…”“What, Jim?”“It feels…off. I don’t know.”“I thought your bond was very preliminary. Are you and Spock getting each other’s thoughts, Jim?”He shook his head. “No, nothing like that. Just…I can’t really say because I don’t know. Maybe he’s like shut it off or something.” He stared at her intently. “Can he do that?”“I honestly don’t know. What I will do, before we ahead of ourselves, is find out if they went to that temple by the lake. If they are there, then we know there is no need to worry about them going to Tarsus IV.” She patted his hand. “But there would still be a reason to worry about your mom and Sam.”“Yeah.”“I don’t know, Jim. I can’t imagine Governor Kodos would let it continue to worsen. I’m betting they’re already working on a solution. And the Federation has to be involved.”“You think?”“I’m sure of it. Now, you go ahead and do these dishes and I’ll go find out about the temple. I’ll be back very soon.”Jim blew out a long breath. “Okay.”He waited a few moments after she left before he got up with their dinner plates full of their discarded dinner.He tossed the remnants in the trash, then went to the sink to rinse and wash them.Maybe if he concentrated very hard he could somehow reach his mind to Spock.Spock.
Are you there?
Spock?
But no matter how hard he tried or how much he concentrated, Jim got nothing. It was like he’d never had a bond at all. It was a hole.“Well.”Jim turned to see Amanda standing on the edge of the kitchen. She looked the picture of calm and for a moment Jim was certain she was about to tell him that they were at the temple by the lake and Spock was discussing with the Vulcan priests about Kolinahr. But then very slowly she shook her head.“They did not go to the lake. They are not at the temple.”Jim’s unease grew again until it was like a thing that would choke him.“They aren’t anywhere on Vulcan at all. They’ve left the planet. They took a shuttle, a private one Sarek owns.”“Destination?”“Unknown.”
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Amanda had let it get to late morning to check on Jim, for the boy had had a very restless, emotional night. Learning that his suspicions regarding Spock and Sarek’s destination likely were confirmed had been a lot for Jim to take. He had gone eerily quiet.Amanda was used to the human boy being quite emotional. She knew it high on Sarek’s list of why he thought Jim was an unsuitable bond mate for Spock. But he’d had little choice in the matter, due to Spock’s T’hy’la bond. But Sarek continued to object. She’d had many arguments with her husband over it. Of course they’d been arguing over Spock for years.Jim had shut down the night before. There was no other way to explain it. He’d become quiet and withdrawn. Haunted almost. Amanda had tried to get him to talk to her about what he was feeling, but he’d stubbornly refused, and then insisted he was going to bed.Now that his usual time for rising had come and gone, Amanda went to his room. In the time that Jim had been with them, he had expressed a particular liking for sour cream scones Amanda made, and so she had made a batch for him that morning, and had brought a plate of them to his room.There was no response to her knocks. Jim had just barely begun his teenaged years, though, and as a former human teenager herself, she was reluctant to just burst in on him. And yet she had a very bad feeling.She went to the nearest computer on the wall.“Computer, locate James Kirk.”“James Kirk is in the hangar.”Amanda dropped the plate of scones and ran in the direction of the hangar off the family’s house. It was at the far end and she was suddenly sorry her preference was for long gowns. She hoisted them up to make it easier to run.Her heart pounded frantically in her chest. That he was still in the hangar made her hope that she was not too late.What in the world was that boy thinking? And how had he accessed the code to get inside in the first place?Panting, she stopped before the control panel and punched in the code quickly. It swished open, thankfully, and she dashed inside.Sarek only had two private shuttles, one of which he had absconded with when leaving with her son. The other was at the furthest end of the hangar. She passed all the hover cars on her way there.The lights to the shuttle were on, but she heard no engine sounds. With a hand on her chest, she leaned down to disengage the lock to the door and it lifted open. Amanda hurried in.Jim, sure enough, had seated himself in the pilot’s seat. He had strapped himself in at least. But he was staring at the panels in front of him and his body was shaking with sobs.Her heart breaking, Amanda approached and sat in the co-pilot seat beside him.He glanced at her, briefly, his eyes brimming with tears, and his face red and blotchy. He looked away just as quick.“Jim,” she said gently.“I can’t get it started,” he whispered, brokenly. “I tried everything. And it won’t go.”“I’m grateful for that. Jim, honey, you’re just a kid, you don’t know anything about piloting a shuttle.”He wiped his face with his arm. “But I have to go after them.”“Now, I know that you want to, I do. I have some of those same feelings.”He looked at her again.“But we need to stay here and wait for them. The best thing you can do right now, for your mother and brother, and for Spock, is to remain here safe.”“You don’t understand.” His bottom lip trembled.“What don’t I understand?”“It’s all my fault. If-if anything happened to your son and husband, it’s because of me.”“Oh, Jim. No. That’s not true.”“It is,” he said, furiously turning away as more tears fell. “Spock only went because he was afraid I would go and Sarek only went because he wasn’t going to let Spock go by himself.”“Well.” Amanda paused. “I suppose some of that’s true. Now I don’t know what’s going on there on Tarsus. But Spock wanted to help you and your family, yes. Because he cares and you were concerned about them. He couldn’t just ignore your concern. And the same is true for Sarek. He didn’t want Spock to go alone, but he also went out of concern for your family’s welfare.”“See? So it is my fault.”“Certainly not. No one can stop those two from doing exactly what they want to do, Jim. Believe me. And you did nothing wrong by worrying about your mother and brother. I’m worried too. And as for what’s happening there on Tarsus, you certainly have no responsibility there. Sarek and Spock are responsible for their own actions, not you. And believe me, when they get back, and they absolutely will, I will be having some stern words with them.”“But if something happens…”“Jim, nothing is going to happen to any of them.” She reached over and took his hand.“How can you know that?” Jim sniffed.“I don’t know how I know,” Amanda admitted. “But I do know. Intuition.”To her surprise, he rolled his eyes.“You’re only saying that to make me feel better.”She smiled gently. “Maybe a little. But I also really feel that way. Will you come out of here now and go back to the house? I made scones.”“Yeah?”“Some are on the floor now, but I have others.”He frowned. “The floor?”She shook her head. “Never mind. Let’s go back.”Amanda rose and helped him undo the fastenings to the chair and then made sure the shuttle was powered down. Thank God, he hadn’t figured out how to get it going, she thought, as they exited.She grabbed his hand as they walked up the planked path. They were almost to the door into the house when they both turned at the sound of the hangar door opening.She squeezed his hand. “I think we are about to have our answers.”He took a step forward, but she stopped him.“Easy. Give it a moment. There’s no need to be anxious.”Jim looked at her like she was nuts.The shuttle door opened and the first one out was Sarek, of course. Every hair was perfectly in place, Amanda noted, and he looked serene, and as though he hadn’t gone off planet without a word to her.Sarek arched a brow in their direction, but then reached into the shuttle. He pulled out Sam Kirk.Jim sucked in a breath.Next Sarek reached in and came out with Winona.Jim started crying again and this time when he tucked at Amanda’s hand to be let go, she released him.Jim ran down the planked path toward his mom and brother.“Jim!” Winona exclaimed, opening her arms for her younger son, who flew into them.Amanda didn’t know yet what had gone down, but she was glad to see none of them looked the worse for wear. Sam had now joined the other Kirks in one being hugging pile.Spock exited the shuttle then, inclined his head at Amanda, and then said something to Sarek.Amanda had a lot to do, she realized. She needed to get things ready for Winona and Sam and, likely, they’d all want to eat.She said as much to her husband and son through their family link, and then turned, feeling great relief, and went into the house.
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After Spock had a hot shower, he spent two hours in meditation.He was haunted by what he had seen on Tarsus IV. Haunted by being unable to rescue others besides Jim’s family. The situation was dire, though not so dire that more could not be saved if help arrived, but…Only because of who Sarek was, his importance, and his secret connections, had they been able to land their small ship there. Sarek had met with Governor Kodos, while Spock had been forced to stay in the ship.When Sarek returned to collect Spock, he had been told that they were only permitted to take Winona and George Samuel Kirk with them. That Kodos said this was a huge favor and that he had the situation quite under control and he resented Sarek interfering. They had plenty of food for all citizens and that if the Kirks were spreading rumors that caused Sarek and his son to come to “rescue” them, then Tarsus IV were well rid of them.They were not allowed to roam freely, to judge for themselves what was going on. They’d been escorted to fetch them. Winona and Sam had greeted them with wide eyes. Their faces were pale and wan. Winona had words with Sarek that Spock had not been a party to, and then they’d all hurried back to Sarek’s ship, which had been guarded the whole time.It left Spock feeling something was quite wrong there, but his father would only say that Governor Kodos assured him no other assistance was needed and they better make haste to leave or he might change his mind about letting any of them depart.Just the same, Spock saw his father send a message once they were onboard their shuttlecraft.All the journey back to Vulcan, Spock had been unnaturally nervous. He had even speculated to his father that he felt that Kodos’ people may have tampered with their ship. Sarek had said his son was paranoid. Perhaps he was. But every bump or sound on the ship had Spock on edge.They made it home, but in the end, just before reaching Vulcan, the ship had began flying erratically. Spock saw that his father had been concerned. When they landed, Sarek declared he would be inspecting the engine for any faults.It had been worth it. The terrible, troublesome anxiety had been worth it. To see his T’hy’la reunited with his family, embracing them, and crying, Spock would do it again.Only the light tap on his bedroom door roused him from his meditation.Spock got to his feet, blew out the incense, tugged the tie tighter around his meditation robe, and went to the door to open it.Somehow, he had known it would be Jim.Jim rushed inside. His face was still red and blotchy, and his eyelashes wet. It made Spock wonder if he had been crying for two straight hours.He was a little shocked when Jim threw his arms around him and hugged him tight, sticking his cold, blotchy face in Spock’s neck. When Spock attempted to extract himself, Jim squeezed tighter.“Thank you,” Jim whispered.Spock lifted his arms, torn between wishing to push Jim away, and patting his back in comfort as he’d seen humans do. He finally did the latter. “It is…all right, Jim. They are safe now.”Jim nodded, sniffling. “And you. You are too.”“I was never…,” he began to say, but stopped himself. It was a lie. He still remembered the not so subtle threats Kodos had delivered. “I am sorry that I was unable to extract your friend Tommy. We were not permitted to contact the Leightons while there.”Spock wanted to, he’d intended to, but Kodos would not allow it, and Sarek had decided not to push it.“That you even thought to try.” Jim sniffled again and his hold on Spock tightened more.Spock was confused. He was certain Jim would be happy, yet his tears and the way he shook while hugging Spock implied that he was distraught.“Jim.”“Yeah?”“Why are you so distressed? Are you-are you not pleased to have your mother and brother?”Jim hiccupped. “Course.”“Then—”Finally, Jim pulled back, loosened his death grip on Spock, and gazed at Spock, his blue eyes blurred by tears. “It was really scary and I’m just…I’m overwhelmed. I thought…well, you shut-shut off any kind of thing with our heads, not that there’s much, and it was just…God, Spock, I was going crazy.”“I am sorry. I had to block our bond so that you would not become overly concerned.” Spock frowned. “And you were angry with me, so I did not think you would mind.”Jim shook his head, new tears falling. “I-I’m sorry I said I hated you and you were the worst T’hy’la. I didn’t mean any of that.”“I know. I am aware that you say such things when you upset.”Jim wiped his eyes with his sleeve. “Yeah? Well.” Then he smiled a little. “I’m still sorry though. I was being bratty. And then you went and did something wonderful, even though I was mean to you. T-thank you.”“There is no need to thank me, Jim. You are my T’hy’la, and I would do it again, if I had to. I am pleased that we were able to bring your mother and brother here.”Jim gave him a wider smile, hugged him again, much more briefly, and then turned to the door. “I’ll stop bugging you. Thank you again, Spock. You’re the best.”Spock nodded, absently, even though Jim had already left. He glanced at his meditation circle where his kneeling mat still lay. With a shake of his head, he went and put everything away. It would soon be time to join everyone for dinner.
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“I can’t believe you made Spock and his father come and get us from Tarsus.”Jim bit his lip. Tried not to wince at his brother’s sharp tone. He was standing on a terrace overlooking a field of native Vulcan flora outside of Sarek and his family’s home. And Sam had just come outside to join him.They’d had dinner with everyone. A rather silent, awkward dinner. His mom and Spock’s had attempted to initiate conversation, but it had fallen flat. Spock and Sarek had been quiet, though Jim got the impression they’d spoken privately before dinner. Sam had been sullen.Now he had come after Jim.“Well.” Jim tried to shrug nonchalantly. “I’ve heard rumors and Mom had shared some concerns.”“Rumors,” Sam said, derisively. “You hacked into the government’s computers, you mean.”Jim didn’t look at Sam. “Would you rather have been left there?”“The situation was fine, Jim. You overreacted. Governor Kodos wouldn’t let anything that terrible happen. He had it under control. Now you’ve got a blemish on Mom’s career. It’s going to be hard for her to get a job somewhere now. I heard her telling Amanda. All her personnel records from Tarsus have negative notes about her.”“And what if you’re wrong, Sam? What if it only gets worse there? Spock believe me when I said I thought something was wrong and so did Sarek.”“Spock would do anything to get you to stop hating him,” Sam said. “You’ve wrapped him around your finger. That mind thing you share, he can’t afford to allow you to taint it with your hatred and brattiness.”“That’s not true. Spock doesn’t let anyone manipulate him.”“Except you. And Sarek went because he knew Spock was going to go with or without him.” Sam sighed. “There’s going to be repercussions for this. Kodos will be sure of that. It took a lot for Mom to get that job and now your histrionics have ruined everything.”Jim nodded. “Okay. You can be mad at me if you want to be, Sam. But you’re mad and alive. That’s what matters to me.”Sam rolled his eyes. “This better not affect my future, Jim.”Then he went back inside leaving Jim alone on the terrace.Maybe he had overreacted. But what he’d seen in Tarsus’ computers had frightened him. And his mother had seemed nervous, too. He hadn’t had much chance to talk to her since she and Sam had been rescued. He hoped she didn’t feel the same way Sam did about their being brought to Vulcan by Sarek and Spock.Before dinner, after he’d visited with Spock, Jim had once more tried to get into the systems for Tarsus, but this time, no matter what he tried, he couldn’t make heads or tails of it. Nothing worked. Whatever security he’d been able to breach had now been fixed. He hated not knowing what was going on there. Because though Mom and Sam were safe, Tommy and his family were not.The night was warm, of course, but not hot like during the day. It felt good to Jim because ever since Spock had left without telling Jim would he’d had in mind; Jim had felt cold. Ridiculous on a hot desert planet. He had no explanation for it either. Now that Spock was back safe, he felt warm again.Was that how it was supposed to be with their bond? Jim had spent so much time kind of fighting this whole ancient bond thing, he hadn’t really tried much of the time to figure it out.What he did know was that teenaged Spock all dressed in black was extremely cool and Jim felt like a major doofus next to him. He sure hoped that wouldn’t last.Jim suspected that after the summer, Mom would take him and Sam away from Vulcan and at one time, he had looked forward to leaving. He didn’t feel that way anymore. He didn’t want to be separated from Spock. And that was weird.“Jim.”Jim jumped for he had not heard Spock approach until he was standing next to him saying his name softly.“Oh. Hi.”“You have been out here for a while.”“Yeah,” he acknowledged. “Mostly thinking about you.”Spock’s brow arched up. He wore a rather interesting black hoodie thing that made him look like a spy or something. “Oh?”Jim laughed a little. “Nothing bad. Don’t worry.”“I was not in particular.” Spock gazed at him. “But you are troubled by something.”“Just sibling stuff, I guess. Sam was out here lambasting me for being worried about them. They were fine and Kodos had everything under control. I was overly dramatic.”For a long time, Spock continued to stare at him, then looked out over the field. “I do not agree.”“So you do think something bad is happening there?”Spock angled his head. “Yes. I do not know all that is happening, but I do know that Governor Kodos is a dangerous man. My father has not yet confirmed it, but we believe he had people make alterations to our ship to possibly prevent it from reaching Vulcan.”“Oh my God, really?”“Perhaps. Do not speak of this yet, Jim, as I said, it is not confirmed.”“But—”“Jim.”Jim sighed. “Okay.”“You should go back inside and get some rest. It has been a rather exhausting day for you.”Jim turned to face him. “For you too. Several days actually. Are you okay? For real, I mean.”Spock nodded. “Yes, Jim.”“I know I…probably, I don’t know, overwhelmed you earlier when I hugged you, but do you think…” Jim hesitated, blew out a breath. “I could maybe have one more hug before I go inside?”“Very well,” Spock said softly. “One more.”And to Jim’s delight, Spock opened his arms wide for Jim to go into his embrace. Spock’s arms wrapped around him and held him close. Jim smiled against him.“You give the best hugs, Spock.”“Doubtful.” Spock sounded amused.Jim pulled away when Spock began to pat his back, he was certain that was a sign Spock was done with the hug.“Oh, you do,” Jim assured him. “Goodnight, Spock.”“Goodnight, Jim.”When Jim turned to look back, Spock stood at the edge of the terrace silently looking out at the field. He bit his lip, walked back to Spock, hugged him from behind, and laughed when Spock stiffened.“Sorry, just the one more.”This time he did go back inside, though he was smiling now and felt better about a lot of things.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Life was sort of normal for the most part over the next few weeks. Sam remained fairly hostile to Jim, but Jim did his best to ignore his teenaged brother. He’d overheard his mother once say it was “teenaged growing pains” and Jim decided that was as good an explanation as any.Jim didn’t see that much of Spock. He recognized Spock was older than him and probably wasn’t that interested in hanging out with someone he no doubt thought of only as a kid, T’hy’la or not. Jim didn’t push it and enjoyed the attention Spock did give him when he got it.Instead he spent a lot of the summer reading and studying the Vulcan language, figuring that would definitely come in handy. He usually spent his afternoons under a shaded tree with an ancient text in hand, a glass of iced tea by his side. It was there his mother located him one particularly baking afternoon.She smiled at him as she took the seat beside him and put her hand on his leg. “How are you doing, sweetie?”Jim closed his book. “I think well. I’ve mastered all of the alphabet.”“That’s excellent but I didn’t mean in your studies of Vulcan. I meant you, Jim.”“Oh.” He nodded. “I’m good.”“Do you miss home?”“Riverside? Yeah. Probably a little. Why?”“Well.” His mom shrugged. “Now that we’re not returning to Tarsus IV—”“I’m sorry about that,” Jim said quickly.She gave him a quizzical. “Why are you sorry?”“I don’t know. Sam thinks I suck. He’s made because I sent Sarek and Spock after you.” Jim looked down at his fingers, which he’d been nibbling on again. He thrust them out of sight of his mother. “And there’s been nothing else about Tarsus IV in the news. Which Sam has definitely made sure I know.”“George Samuel doesn’t know everything he thinks he does, Jim. You were right to be concerned and there’s no harm done anyway.”“Yeah?”“Yes.”“But he says now you can’t get a job.”“Well, he’s wrong about that too. That’s part of what I’m trying to tell you.” She smiled and patted his leg. “I want us to return to Riverside. I’d like you to go to high school there. Where I’ll be teaching.”Jim’s eyes widened. “You’re going to teach at Riverside High?”“I am. I think it’s wonderful you are getting to know Spock and all about Vulcan, but I’d like you to spend time being Human and yourself too. You’re not old enough to truly be bonded to Spock yet, and you can keep in touch with him from Riverside. Maybe next summer he can even come there and visit with you. What do you think, Jim?”What did he think? He would miss Spock. He would definitely miss Amanda. And maybe even, slightly, Sarek. But to go back to Earth and be with kids just like him and have a whole new set of friends? Yeah, Jim could totally go for that. And for him and his mom and even Sam to be a family together there?“I’d really like that, Mom.”“I thought you might. I’ve told Amanda and Sarek we’ll be going back and they completely understand. But they think it’s best you be the one who tells Spock.”Jim nodded. “Spock knew I wasn’t going to stay here with him forever. Not yet anyway. So, I’ll tell him later today.”“I’m thinking to book us return fare on a shuttle next week if that’s okay with you.”“Sure, Mom.” Jim smiled, feeling excited about going home. Experiencing cold weather again. “Thank you.” Spock often went to study at a science laboratory in the main city of Vulcan and generally returned about four in the afternoon. Jim decided he would wait for him by the hover train station that usually took him into the city.He was leaning against a stone wall, mostly hidden out of view, but it was shady, well as shady as it got there, so Jim stayed there.But as Spock stepped through the exit doors of the station and Jim made to stand to meet him, Jim caught a conversation with the Vulcans coming up behind Spock.“There’s that half-breed.”“He even smells foul like a Human. Disgusting.”One of them pushed into Spock so violently, Spock stumbled. The other boys just kept walking, whispering to themselves.Jim glared in their direction, but they paid no attention to him, so he hurried to Spock’s side.“Hi.”Spock jumped slightly at Jim’s approach which made Jim madder at the other Vulcans. “Hello Jim.”“Are you-listen, those guys—”“Do not mind them.”“But they—”“To react would just encourage them further,” Spock said quietly. “I am glad you did not interfere when you witnessed their behavior. They have three times your strength and would have done injury to your person. Perhaps severe.”Jim supposed Spock had a point.“I wanted to though. Guys like that make me sick. And to treat you like that. Fuckers.”“Jim.”“Well.” Jim flushed. “I’m thirteen. And Sam says that word all the time.”“You are not Sam and it is not necessary or desired for you to speak that way.” Spock straightened his book bag on his shoulder. “Come. Let us make our way home. Why have you come to meet me?”“Er. Well.” Jim shifted awkwardly and then fell into step beside Spock. “To tell you Mom is taking me and Sam back to Riverside in a week. She wants me to go to high school there. She’s gonna be a teacher there.”Spock nodded. “I see. I am sure you are excited.”“Yeah. But, not, not about leaving you. I don’t want to do that.”“It was always expected you would be here only for the summer. I am gratified you aren’t going to live with them on Tarsus IV as originally planned.”Jim smiled. “Me too. And we can totally keep in contact. And Mom said maybe next summer you can come to see me in Riverside.”Spock inclined his head. “I will have to see where my education is at that time.”He nodded quickly. “Of course. I know how important it is to you to get into the Vulcan Science Academy.”“Indeed.”Jim walked fast ahead of Spock. That was pretty much always the case. Spock was always so cool and serene. But Jim turned to look back at Spock as he walked.“I’m going to miss you like crazy though.”“Mmm.”Jim’s smile widened. “You’ll miss me too, right?”“We will both be quite busy, I am sure. Please watch where you are going.”Jim faced front again. “We will. But you’ll still miss me anyway.”He glanced back at Spock, who arched a brow.Jim grinned and ran right into a table and chairs at an outside café. Landed right on his butt.Spock sighed, reached down and helped him up. “You are all right?”Jim laughed. “Yeah. Just clumsy.”Spock helped him right the chair he knocked over and then put his hand on Jim’s arm.“Perhaps walk a bit slower and with purpose this time.”“All right.” Jim sighed. He waved his arms. “I just have all this energy!”Spock’s lips twitched. “I am aware.” He paused. “And I might…perhaps…miss that.”“Miss me. You mean.”Spock shrugged, shook his head, and gently prodded Jim to return to walking home.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Three Years Later Jim tripped and fell face first into the asphalt, the glasses on his face flying to the ground. With a hand quickly thrust out, he was just able to save his mouth from disaster.The sound of snickering filled his ears.“Loser!”He was smacked on the back of the head as his group of tormenters moved on to bother someone else. But not before one of them stepped on his glasses. He heard the crunch.Jim sighed and straightened up.“It’s your own fault, you know.”Jim grimaced at the sound of Sam’s voice. Then a hand was thrust down to help him stand.“How exactly is it my fault?”“You’re too uppity. You act like you’re superior to them.”“I am superior.”Sam shrugged and reached down for Jim’s glasses. “That’s why they pick on you. That and you’re some kind of smart geek.” He thrust them at Jim. “Broken.”“No kidding.”Sam moved away then, leaving Jim behind. “See you at home.”And his brother was gone.Sam was in his last year of high school. Last few months even. He kept threatening to leave Riverside when he was through and Jim guessed he would.Jim, of course, was lucky enough to be fifteen, have zits, glasses, and braces. You’d think in these times, they’d just be able to zap your teeth straight with a laser or something. He shoved the broken specs into his book bag.At least next week he was getting his vision fixed.Oh and besides all that, they all knew Jim was engaged or married or whatever he was to a Vulcan, which for whatever reason also made him a target for certain bully types there. Not that he had seen Spock in person since, well, nearly three years ago when he left Vulcan. He had hoped Spock would come to Earth to visit him that summer, but he never had. Too busy with trying to get into the Vulcan Science Academy. And probably fit in with his fellow Vulcans. Jim got it, he really did.Didn’t have to like it, but he did understand it.He made his way home, because, as a matter of fact, he was supposed to video conference with Spock that afternoon before dinner and he didn’t want to miss it. He only got to talk to Spock a few times a week.When he reached home there was no sign of Sam or his mom for that matter, so he got himself a glass of iced tea and went straight up to his room to get ready to speak to Spock.Really the only other friend he spoke to regularly to was Tom Leighton. Used to be Tommy, but he went by Tom these days. Tom lived with an aunt and uncle in Florida after the death of his parents on Tarsus IV. That Jim had been right about what was going on there after all hadn’t won him any brownie points with Sam. But Jim was simply glad that he’d been able to spare his mom and Sam the worst of it, even if that hadn’t been the case for Tom and his parents.Until it was time for his conference with Spock, Jim did his homework. There wasn’t much to do as he was ahead in every subject. Sam told him other guys didn’t like smart guys like him. Kids his age were usually into boobs and stuff.He lost track of time though and saw that Spock, for a change, had initiated the call. Jim got up from where he’d been lounging on his bed and went to his desk to sit in front of the video.“Greetings, Jim.”Jim smiled, took a sip of his drink, and said. “Hi Spock!”Spock, who never missed anything, leaned forward and narrowed his eyes. “There is a bruise forming on your left cheek. Where are your glasses?”“They got broken.”“Broken? By whom?”“I mean…I broke them.”“Jim.”“Spock, Mom’s taking me to get my eyes fixed next week anyway.”Spock looked away for a moment and then back at Jim. “And the bruise?”“I’m just clumsy.” Jim fidgeted. He absolutely did not want to admit to Spock he was kind of, sort of, being bullied. He could handle it. “Anyway, how are you?”“I am well and would be even better if my T’hy’la was being honest with me.”Jim bit his lip. “It’s nothing, okay? Just some guys at school. You know how it is. You’ve had some experience with that kind of thing.”Spock nodded. “I have, but I had hoped and believed that you would not have to face such things.”“Well, anyway, enough about that. I’m glad to see you. Busy studying?”“Yes. But I do have news.”It was Jim’s turn to lean forward. “Yeah?”“I am going to have a two-week rest period coming up and I have made arrangements to come to Riverside to visit with you during that time.”Jim could hardly stand how happy that made him. “Yeah? You’re really coming?”“I am.”“When?”“At the end of the month, if that is permissible. You should probably verify with your mother.”“I will, I will. But I know she’ll say it’s cool.”“Still, it is best to confirm.”Jim nodded. “Okay. Tell me about what you’re studying.”Spock inclined his head. “It is a small matter of…”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
“Spock, are you quite certain I shouldn’t go with you?”His mother’s voice had Spock stopping and turning toward her. He tried not to show his annoyance for he knew she meant well, and such a reaction was, no doubt, illogical.“There is simply no need,” Spock explained again as she made her approach. “I am a grown man and am quite capable of traveling to Earth alone.”She smiled softly. “I know, Spock. I know you’ll be fine.” She put her hands on his arms, studying him. “You’ve grown to be quite the capable young Vulcan.”“Then what causes your disquiet about my visit to Earth?”Mother’s smile slipped by just a fraction. Being around Vulcans, Spock knew she had learned well how to hide her emotions, but she was unable to completely hide how anxious she was.“Just…Jim is a teenager now, Spock.”“Yes.”“Fifteen.” She shook her head. “That age. Compared to Vulcans, Humans are…well, I do not wish to say delicate, exactly.”Spock frowned minutely. “What then?”“A Human’s teenaged years can be rather fraught with many emotions, Spock. And at the top of those is angst.”“Angst? What would Jim have angst for?”Mother smiled again. “Oh, so many things. It doesn’t have to make logical sense and quite frankly does not.”Spock considered this. “Very well. What is your point?”“I urge caution when dealing with Jim. I do not know how to put this without perhaps offending you—"“I take no offense to anything,” Spock insisted. “Sometimes your unemotional view of things can inadvertently trample on Human feelings. I merely advise you to tread carefully with Jim.”He nodded. “I see.” It was true that Jim tended to become overwrought in Spock’s experience. If that was made even worse by his age, Spock supposed his mother’s advice was warranted. “I will heed your words and proceed as such.”Her smile widened. “That is all I ask. That and you keep in touch while you are there.”“It is only two weeks, Mother.”“Yes, two whole weeks.” She laughed. “I know you are rolling your eyes within. And remember, Humans are not really used to the idea of fated mates.”“What do you mean?”“Jim is liable to be experiencing…the beginnings of attraction towards others. That too is natural and is no reflection on what the two of you have.”“He is my T’hy’la.”“Yes. But as I said, Humans are not used to that notion. If you notice anything in that regard, don’t become jealous.”“Vulcans do not experience jealousy, Mother.”She nodded. “Of course not.” She squeezed the arms she still held on to. “Good journey, Spock. Please give my best to Jim and Winona.”**** When Spock stepped off the shuttle in Riverside, he immediately took note of the decrease in temperature by several degrees. He’d been wise to pack warmer clothing.His gaze searched out his hosts for the next two weeks but he did not immediately spot them.Spock inwardly sighed. He did not want to have to search for them and he had thought Jim was aware he appreciated punctuality.He collected his luggage by himself and once more turned to survey the bay for Jim and his mother.Nowhere to be found.Spock took out his personal communication device but there were no messages. With a shake of his head, he walked outside, coming to the conclusion he was going to have to seek transportation to the Kirk farmhouse himself.That’s when he spotted Jim speeding up to him on an old Earth motorbike. The teenager wore what Spock had heard was called a shit-eating grin on his face. A peculiar sentiment to be sure. There was no sign of Winona Kirk.Jim squealed to a stop directly in front of Spock. He wore no safety helmet, Spock quickly noted.“Hiya, Spock. I made it just in time.”“Actually, you are late.”Jim wiped a lock of hair out of his hair. “Well, I mean, not really. Here you are. Hop on.”“Are you of age to be able to operate this vehicle?”“Oh sure. I’ve been riding this for a couple of years now. Just you know around the city and stuff. Perfectly fine.” Jim patted the space behind him. “Get on and hold onto me.”Though Spock had, of course, seen Jim on their streamed conversations, this was the first time he had seen him in person in three years. The color of his eyes seemed even more striking than before, and his face had matured more as a young man’s than as a child. He would grow up to be quite attractive, Spock realized.“Where is your safety helmet?” he asked.“I don’t usually wear one.” Jim flashed him that same smile. He reached around to the back of the bike and withdrew a helmet. “Here you go, if you wanna.”“I want to.” Spock secured the helmet on his head, then looked to see where he could put his bag.Jim grabbed it and slipped the handle on to a hook. “All set.”Spock, with some reluctance, placed himself on the seat behind Jim. It had been his intention to sit there stiffly without placing his hands on Jim’s waist. But then the boy “whooped” and began to ride away at quite a fast pace. Spock quickly gripped Jim’s sides and he was fairly certain he heard Jim laugh.He had never gotten sick on a moving vehicle in his life. Spock was sure he would not this time either. It merely required mind over matter.Jim’s motorbike lifted up and over a bump, and Spock closed his eyes. He hoped it was not a long trip to the farmhouse.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
About halfway home, Jim realized Spock was trying to say something to him. He kept shouting, but Jim couldn’t hear a thing over the roar of the bike on the road.
He decided he’d just wait to hear what Spock wanted to say until they got home, but then it occurred to him that maybe Spock was telling him his luggage had fallen off or something and then Jim would just have to go back for it anyway.
Impatiently, he pulled the bike over.
“Yeah?”
Spock spoke again. “Mwethrofttthebikenw.”
Jim sighed. “You’re going to have to take your helmet off. I can’t understand you.”
After a bit of a pause, Spock undid the helmet’s strap and lifted the helmet off his head. He stared stonily at Jim.
“I said, pull this motorbike over at once and get off.”:
Jim craned his neck to look back at Spock. “Huh?”
“Get off. I am going to operate it the rest of the duration of the trip to your home and you will ride behind me.”
“What?” Jim laughed. “Why?”
“Because you are a reckless driver who will surely kill both of us.”
“A…reckless…” Jim counted to ten. “Okay, smarty-pants, do you actually know how to drive one of these?”
“I can do no worse than you.” Spock thrust the helmet at Jim. “Put that on and change positions.”
He laughed again. “Yeah, right. I’ve been riding this thing since I was nine, dude. I’m perfectly capable and you’re perfectly safe. Just because you’re a-a blowhard—”
“What is a blowhard?”
Jim snorted. “You love research. Why don’t you look it up?”
“We are wasting time and energy arguing about it when we both know in the end, I will win.” Spock swung his leg off the bike and stood beside it. “Remove yourself from the operating position.”
“Why will you win?”
“I am the elder.”
“Yeah, yeah. Because you got lucky to be born a few years earlier than me.”
“I am the adult, you are a child.”
“I’m not a child, Spock. Geez. I’m fifteen.”
“As I said…a child. Get off the bike, Jim.”
Jim noticed then that Spock’s hand was creeping ever closer to Jim’s shoulder area and so he backed away. “Oh, no. You aren’t supposed to do that neck pinch thing on your t’hy’la.”
Spock’s eyes narrowed. “There are no rules.”
He rolled his eyes and gave in. For now. He slid his ass off the bike and gestured to Spock. “Fine, go ahead, bossy.”
Spock got on the bike and shoved the helmet toward Jim.
“No way. It’ll mess up my hair. Yours is already messed up from wearing it, so you put it back on.”
Spock clearly wanted to continue arguing the point, but he finally put the helmet on and Jim seated himself behind Spock, grabbing on to the Vulcan’s middle.
Jim told him the way to go and Spock got the motorbike going again.
Not long after, they reached the farmhouse and Spock stopped the bike in front.
“Here we are. Home sweet home. Or whatever.” Jim got off and grabbed Spock’s bags. “Come on inside.”
Jim headed up the steps to the front door, Spock on his heels.
“Mom, Spock’s here.”
“Oh, wonderful. Hello, Spock. It’s good to see you again. We’re both happy to have you visit with us,” his mother greeted Spock warmly. She looked like she was going to hug Spock, but when she looked at his expression, she stopped herself.
“It is pleasing to see you again,” Spock said, politely. “Thank you for welcoming me into your home.”
“Dinner will be in a bit. Jim, why don’t you take Spock up and show him where he’s staying?”
“Okay.” Jim went into the kitchen and then the fridge. “You want a soda?”
“I do not.”
Jim shook his head and reached past them. “Tea? I have some iced green tea.”
“You have green tea?”
“Yeah, we got it for you.” Jim handed Spock a bottle of cold green tea. “Come on upstairs.”
Spock followed him up the stairs to the second floor of the farmhouse. Jim turned into the second door from the right.
“This is my room. You’ll be staying here. Mom brought in a rollaway bed.” Jim pointed to the bed, which had been set up with sheets and blankets on one end of the room. “It’s a little bit lumpy, so if you don’t want to sleep there, you can have my bed and I’ll sleep there.”
“The rollaway is acceptable. I do not wish to inconvenience you.” Spock put his bags down on the extra bed. “You had your vision fixed?”
“Oh yeah. Mostly. Sometimes my eyes sting like crazy and I have to use these weird drops, but I got to ditch the nerd glasses.”
Spock inclined his head. “I liked them.”
“Well.” Jim shrugged. “They were okay. They used to fog up a lot and some of the kids, they…”
“Yes?” Spock prompted.
Jim shrugged again. “Well. You know. Your peers can be mean. You’ve experienced that yourself.”
“That is true. I am sorry to hear that you are forced to endure it though.”
“Yeah. Anyway, down the hall are Mom and Sam. He’s hardly ever home though. He has a girl now, Aurelan, and he spends a lot of time at her house.”
“I understand,” Spock said. “If you do not mind, before dinner, I would appreciate time to meditate.”
“Sure go ahead.”
Spock pursed his lips. “It requires that I be left alone.”
“Ohhhh.” Jim nodded. “Right. Okay. I’ll just go down and help Mom with dinner. Have, er, fun, or whatever.”
Jim stepped out of the bedroom and as he headed to the stairs, noted that Spock closed the door after him. He sighed.
Spock, of course, was cuter than ever. Jim felt kinda lame next to him. And Spock’s visit made him a bit nervous. Now that Spock was an adult, he would probably realize just how lacking Jim would be for a mate for him. For all Jim knew, Spock was experimenting back home on Vulcan. Just the other day Sam had implied that was likely the case.
He didn’t like any of it, but there was little he could do. This was his so-called life. And if Spock chose another over him, after that experimentation, Jim would have to accept it.
Downstairs, he smiled at his mom. “I’m ready to help.”
“Oh, good. You can peel potatoes.”
With an inward sigh, Jim set about peeling potatoes.
“Hey, Mom?”
“Hmm?”
“Was, uh, was Dad very, uh, experienced when you got together?”
“Experienced?”
“Yeah. You know. Had he had a lot of girlfriends before you.”
“Oh.” Her face cleared as she worked on the squash dish she was making. “Sure. We didn’t meet until he was about twenty-one or so. He’d had a couple of prior girlfriends. But I didn’t mind. That’s pretty normal. I’d had some boyfriends before him, too.”
Jim nodded, sighed, and continued to peel.
“Why do you ask?”
“No reason. Just curious.”
She smiled. “Okay, kiddo. I’d better go call your brother.”
Jim peeled the rest of the potatoes and then cut them. He was on the last one when the knife slipped and sliced right into his thumb.
“Damn. Ouch.”
His hand was grabbed, gently. “Allow me.”
Jim looked up to see Spock had a hold of him.
“There are bandages in the bathroom,” Jim said.
He allowed Spock to lead him there and watched as Spock applied pressure, medicine, and a bandage to his cut.
“I did the research, by the way.”
Jim blinked. For a moment his stomach sank. Research. Somehow Spock had gotten all of Jim’s thoughts about his experimentation and Spock was not confirming that, in fact, he had.
Well. They weren’t like officially married or anything. Not even fully bonded, as Jim understood it. He guessed there wasn’t anything wrong with it.
“Okay.” Jim nodded.
Spock was watching him, dark eyes fathomless. “I am, perhaps, a blowhard.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
One of the lessons Jim had to learn over his last fifteen years was that eavesdropping had been and always would be a terrible idea.
Eavesdroppers never hear anything good of themselves.
One of his mother’s idioms. He should have paid that heed.As he’d approached the bedroom, his own Jim might add, so it wasn’t like he was sneaking up on someone else’s private space, he could hear that Spock was speaking out loud.At first, he concluded that Spock talked out loud to himself, something Jim actually did sometimes, and he got a spark of joy thinking they had something in common.But that was quickly squelched when he heard the answering voice of Spock’s mother, Amanda.Jim knew he should have turned and walked back down the hallway then and gone down without inviting Spock for ice cream. It had been a long shot that Spock would have agreed to it anyway, though his mom had said she got sorbet for Spock.But he didn’t turn around. In fact he crept closer, until he could silently open the door further enough to see that Spock was talking to his mother over a video conference.“I just don’t know what to do or say to your father.”“But I thought that he had given up on the idea of severing my bond with Jim.”Spock’s mother sighed. “I thought so too, but apparently he’s been speaking with an elder who told him that the idea of a Vulcan having a t’hy’la bond with a human was impossible.”“But T’Pau confirmed it herself.”“This other elder believes she was mistaken and wants to examine you again.”He heard Spock fidget.“I doubt I can convince Jim to travel to Vulcan for such an examination.”“Jim is not required. At least at this point. They wish for you to be examined when you return from your visit. Sarek wanted you to return now, but I convinced him that was unacceptable.”“I still do not understand, Mother. Jim and I clearly share a bond. T’Pau confirmed its existence. I feel the connection of our minds.”“The elder believes that the bond you formed with Jim as children was merely an accident of an immature Vulcan mind—"“Mine.”“Yes, creating the bond unthinkingly. The bond exists but it certainly is not a revered Vulcan Telsu bond and therefore can easily be disrupted.” “But why are they determined that it be disrupted?’“My guess is they think there is a better match for you for a bondmate. Believe me, Spock, I am as unhappy about it as you are. I am livid. I have had numerous arguments with your father.”“Father assisted me in retrieving Jim’s family from Tarsus IV. I believed that he had accepted—"“I don’t know, Spock. You can speak to him yourself when you return.” She paused. “And everything still feels like you belong together, Spock, or does the possibility—”And that is when Jim turned and walked away.He did not want to hear Amanda suggest that they had been wrong all along, and he certainly had no desire to listen to Spock say that perhaps severing the bond between them would be for the best since he was saddled with an idiotic human.Jim was absolutely certain that would be what was said next. He made it downstairs and over to the coatrack without either his mother or Sam noticing and slipped out the back door.“Fuck you all,” Jim muttered sullenly. On his way out the door, he had snagged the keys to one of his grandpa’s old classic sportscars.He stomped all the way to the barn. He had a sudden irrational hatred for Vulcans and he knew it was wrong. He knew he shouldn’t feel that way, but right now all he could feel was rage. He would never be good enough in their eyes for Spock and maybe, he didn’t know, maybe they were right.He opened the door to the car, got in and started it up. He flicked on the headlights as he backed out of the barn.In all honesty, Jim had never driven it in his life. His mother had forbidden even Sam to drive it. But he figured, how hard could it be?As he sped the car out of the yard, Jim saw his brother had come outside and was now staring in shock as Jim sped past him.He was going down the road from his house to the city proper at high speed for quite a while, feeling energized and free, when bright headlights from an oncoming hover car suddenly appeared. Jim suddenly felt panicked and more than a little freaked out.Either he was going to have to get out of the way of the hover car or the hover car was going to have to get out of the way of him.Or they were going to hit head on.Jim jerked the wheel of his grandpa’s sportscar, but he must have jerked it too hard because suddenly he was spinning out and then he was in the air, turning over and over. He was pretty sure he was going to throw up his dinner.The car stopped. Jim’s head slammed against the steering wheel and the world went dark.
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“Can you hear me?”
Pain. Just go away.
“Can you open your eyes? Come on, open your eyes, kid.”Cold clammy hand on his face.“You’re going to be okay. They’re coming.”Coming?“That’s it. Open your eyes.”Jim’s heavy eyelids flicker and then opened. He was peering into a beam of light.“Good boy. The ambulance is coming, kid.”He closed his eyes again. ****“He’s coming around.”Jim eyes fluttered open and leaning over him was a total stranger. A young guy, older than him or Spock, maybe, twenties, he would guess. Brown hair, hazel eyes.“Who are you?”“Leonard McCoy. I’m a resident here. Hey, doc, he’s alert.”Another strange man appeared, older than the last. He had a large moustache and bushy brows.“How are you feeling?”Jim thought about it. “Like I crashed a car.”“You sure did. Think you can sit up?”Without waiting for an answer, the doctor flipped a switch and the bed bent upward, so Jim sat up. The only two occupants of the stark white room were these two men he didn’t know.“I’m Doctor Owens. You already met Bones there.”“Bones?”“A nickname. He’s the one who found you in that car you flipped over. Lucky for you he got you help right away. Still in medical school that one, but he saved your life.”Jim glanced at “Bones”. “Thank you.”“What’s your name, son?” Doctor Owens asked. “You had no identification.”“Kirk. Jim Kirk. From Riverside.”“All right, you rest and we’ll contact your family.”Jim frowned. “Do you have to? Can’t I just leave?”Owens snorted. “No you cannot. You have a concussion. Hit that noggin of yours pretty hard. Broke your arm. And your ankle. You aren’t going anywhere for a while, son. What were you doing driving that thing? You’re just a kid.”It all came flooding back to Jim. What he heard from Spock about their so-called bond. How Spock’s father and all the other Vulcans wanted to break it. Wanted to rid Spock of the stupid Human influence.“Now you rest. We’ll be back in a bit and hopefully your family will come.”“Yeah,” Jim said softly. “Okay.”****“Jim.”When Jim opened his eyes to see his mother sitting on his bed, near him. She smiled gently.“Hi baby.”“Mom.”She put her hand on his cheek. “How are you feeling?”“Pretty beat up,” he admitted. “Are you…are you mad?”She sighed. “Yes and no. I mean, I’m unhappy that you took the car and drove off and got yourself hurt. But I’m so grateful you’re going to be all right.”He nodded, bit his lip. “I’m sorry. I-I was upset.”“Do you want to tell me why?”Jim shook his head. “No. Can I just accept my punishment?”She leaned forward and brushed his hair off his forehead. “I think maybe this is punishment enough. I hope you learned your lesson. And if, maybe, you want to tell about it, at some point, I’m here to listen.”“Okay.”“Sam’s here. And Spock, too. Do you want to see them?”“I’ll see Sam, sure.”Mom raised both brows. “But not Spock?”“I’d-I’d rather not.”“But why, Jim? He came all this way to see you, to visit with you. Why wouldn’t you want him to come in to see you?”Jim looked away. “I…he…he doesn’t really like me, Mom. None of the Vulcans do.”“What? Of course he does. Of course they do.”He shook his head. “No. They’ve been-been forced to tolerate me, but at the first chance they get, they would get rid of me.”“I’m sure you’re wrong, Jim. Spock shares a bond with you.”He looked back at her. “Can I not see him for now, Mom? Please. I mean I know I’ll have to face him eventually. But not right now, okay?”She sighed. “Okay, Jim. I’ll send Sam in.”She got up kissed his forehead and then left the room.A moment later, the door opened and Sam came in. He was carrying a small paper bag.“Heya, bro.”Jim almost rolled his eyes, but his head hurt too much for that. “Whatcha got?”Sam smirked and shoved it at him. “Your favorite cookies. Pumpkin chocolate chip.”Jim perked up immediately as he tore open the bag. “Yum.”Sam laughed, then he sobered. “The car’s wrecked.”Jim nodded, his mouth full of cookie.“You’re lucky you came out of it as good as you did. That dude McCoy saved your life. Guess he saw it happen. Car caught on fire after too and if he hadn’t gotten you out—”“Yeah.” Jim nodded. “I’m really sorry.”“Well. I guess I’ll never quite understand you, Jim. But you’re my kid brother and I do love you.”“I love you too.” He paused. “Even if you do smell.”Sam laughed and ruffled his hair. “Enjoy your cookies. We were told not to stay too long, so I’ll see you in the morning.”“Okay, thanks, Sam.”He watched Sam leave and then took another bite of cookie. He felt a little pressure in his head, like a push, and thought it felt like Spock was trying to probe their link. Jim pushed back, concentrating until he felt Spock retreat. Then he closed his eyes, and sighed. He might as well get used to not having Spock there, and Spock should get used to it too.He and Spock just weren’t meant to be.
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Spock had been waiting for a long time to be let in to see Jim in the hospital, but so far, they’d forbidden him entry.
Family only.
Since Jim was his bondmate, that applied as far as Spock was concerned but hospital staff told him differently. If he could obtain permission from Jim’s immediate family—Spock spotted Sam coming down the corridor toward him. He had guessed over the years Jim’s older brother did not care for him, but just now his expression was openly hostile, though Spock could not imagine what he had done to earn such a look.“Spock.” Sam’s voice was cool as he stood before Spock. He crossed his arms in front of his chest in what Spock knew to be a defensive measure.“I would like to see Jim.”“Would you? Why? So you can tell him to his face?”“Tell him?”Sam sighed. “Jim told me he overheard your mother and you talking about whether you were truly T’hy’la. According to your father, you are not.”“My father has expressed doubts,” Spock admitted.“Again, right? He’s been like this since the beginning with you two. I get it.”“You…do?”“Vulcans don’t like Humans.”“My father is married to my mother who is Human.”“That had to be accidental.” Sam smirked and shook his head. “I don’t know why, if it’s not Jim’s being Human, that your father does not like him but—"“My father does not dislike Jim.”“Save it. I don’t care about Sarek’s personal feelings toward Jim one way or another. But he clearly doesn’t like Jim for you, because he’s like a broken record with this stuff. Maybe because Jim is male and Human. Who knows?”“My father,” Spock said carefully, “does not speak for me. I believe that Jim and I share the T’hy’la bond.”“Listen, I’m grateful to you and your father for helping to get us off Tarsus IV, At the time, I was pissed, and I won’t deny that. I thought Jim was being overly dramatic about it all and asking for attention, but I was wrong. I can admit that now. You saved us and I’ll always be grateful, but I’m asking you and your family to stop jerking Jim around like this.”Spock opened his mouth to protest.But Sam shook his head. “Jim’s really upset right now, Spock. He’s always been a- sensitive kid. He doesn’t handle rejection well.”“I am not rejecting him,” Spock insisted.“In the beginning,” Sam continued as though Spock hadn’t spoken, “Mom, well, she kept-kept looking for someone to replace Dad for herself as much as us, but nobody ever did. When I was just a kid, our stepdad, Frank, hit me, and she got rid of him, but he was just…there were others that came and went over the years, that you probably don’t even know about. Jim doesn’t talk about it. About anything, really. He bottles it all up inside of him until it almost physically hurts him. The thing was, it didn’t matter how Jim felt about any of these guys, once Mom realized they weren’t good for us, they were gone. Jim felt rejected again. It wasn’t anyone’s fault, but it’s the way it was. Even our grandfather—our dad’s dad—once Jim overheard him tell Mom that seeing us boys just reminded him of the loss of his son, and after that Mom stopped taking us to see our grandparents.”Spock blinked, swallowed. “That is awful.”“Yeah, and it was one more rejection for Jim. Then his best friend, Tommy, moved away, and then…I don’t know, he’s had you, for a while, as a bit of an anchor, after all of this, Jim thought he finally had someone in his life he could rely on.” Sam paused and looked away. “I’ll be honest here and say I am not sure he always sees Mom and me that way. Right or wrong. But he did you. That is until he overheard you speaking with your mom about how Sarek wanted to test your bond again.” He looked back at Spock.“I understand, however, I am not responsible for what my father thinks or believes. I do not feel that way and if I could just speak with Jim—”Sam shook his head. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea right now. Do you think your father plans to drop his inquiry into the true existence of your bond?”Spock frowned slightly. “I do not know, but it is unlikely.”“I thought so. Here’s what I think. Go home to Vulcan and do what your father wants you to do. If the T’hy’la bond is real, then you will know soon enough, and can relieve Jim of his doubts and concern over this.”“I have several days left of my visit,” Spock pointed out.“Maybe you should cut it short.”“I do not wish to do so. As I have stated, my father and the elders of Vulcan are wrong. Jim and I are Telsu. I have no intention of being bullied or manipulated by them…or you. I can appreciate your concern on behalf of your brother, but for now, I am going nowhere.”Sam’s jaw tightened. “And if you are wrong, Spock? What will that do to Jim?”“I am not,” Spock said simply. “But even if we did not have the type of bond I believe we have, we are, now, a bonded pair. I have reached my majority as a Vulcan and have no intention of allowing dissolvement of what Jim and I share. I cannot put it more plainly and succinctly than that. Now. May I please see Jim?” Sam uncrossed his arms and glanced toward the hospital room. He blew out a long, heavy breath. “I’ll go see if he’s accepting non-family visitors,” he said pointedly.And Spock was left standing alone in the empty corridor. Once more eh tried to reach Jim with their link, but it was plain Jim was stubbornly keeping him out. Spock could be just as stubborn. He would not take no for answer this time.
Jim, let me in. Please.
A moment later the door opened, and Sam looked out. “He’ll see you.”
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Spock decided Jim looked much worse than they had let on. He was as white as a sheet with dark bruised circles under his blue eyes. He had a cast on his left arm which was twisted at a strange angle and his right foot, at the ankle was also casted and elevated. Across his forehead was a large bandage.He eyed Spock warily as Spock approached the bed. “Jim, are you…how do you feel?”“Uh, okay. I guess.”Spock moved closer. “Does your head hurt?”“Yeah. They’re giving me some pain stuff though so it’s not so bad. I feel pretty stupid for crashing the car.”Spock glanced around the room for a chair, saw one rather far away from where Jim’s bed was, and though he considered moving it closer, he discarded that idea and instead gestured to the edge of the bed. “May I sit?”“Sure.”After perching himself on the edge, Spock folded his hands in his lap. Mostly to prevent himself from reaching out and touching Jim. He was not sure that would be welcome at this point. Not yet.Jim fidgeted with the blankets wrapped around him and didn’t quite meet Spock’s gaze. “When do you leave for Vulcan?”“I do not know.”Jim did look at him then. “I figured it would be soon.”He shook his head. “I still have four days left from my original planned visit and I am extending my stay indefinitely.” He paused. “With your mother’s permission to consider residing with you that is.”Jim frowned. “But I thought—”“I know what you thought, Jim. And I am sorry you didn’t ask me before you took the car out. I am relieved you are not more seriously injured though it is certainly bad enough.”“I heard you and your mom talking.”“I am aware. That is why I wished you had spoken with me. I am aware you are Human, however, and young with tumultuous emotions.” Spock sighed. “We share a bond, Jim. Do you think I am unaware what you are like?”“That’s an unfair advantage,” Jim mumbled.“I suppose it would seem that way to a psi-null. Sarek is many things, Jim, but my spokesperson is not one of them.”“He’s your dad and the other Vulcans—”“Are not correct. I am of an adult age now and can make my own choices. Right now, I choose not to fly back to Vulcan for their unwarranted examinations.”“I know you’ve all always been dismayed about me being Human.”“I long ago accepted you as my bondmate, Jim. We were children when our Telsu bond was discovered. Nothing over the years has persuaded me otherwise.”Jim looked down at his clenched hands in the blanket. There was a wateriness look to his bruised and bloodshot eyes. “You’ve never liked me.”“Jim.”“It’s true!” the teen insisted. “There have been times you barely tolerated me. Like-like when those guys—”“That was a long time ago,” Spock spoke softly. This time he did reach for Jim’s hand, still holding onto the blanket. “May I have your hand?”He was a little surprised when Jim acquiesced. Jim’s hand was warm in his and it went a long way to soothe Spock’s own turmoil. Jim’s emotions were all over the place, though. Confusion, worry, fear, and also just a bit of hope.“T’hy’la,” Spock whispered. “And yes, that is what you are to me and me to you. I do not dislike you. You are of utmost importance to my mental and emotional health.”Jim’s gaze rose to his and he blinked rapidly. “Yeah?”His voice was tiny, a little hoarse, and it made Spock’s heart ache.“Yes, Jim. I apologize for my error in not making sure you were aware of your importance. I will try to make sure that does not occur again. But you must promise to communicate your emotional insecurities to me so that I may address them in the future.”Jim swallowed. “Okay. But your father and the elders—”“Can go fly a kite.”Jim laughed, which was, of course, the desired effect.“Despite what they think, Jim, they do not know everything. We are a bonded pair and I do not intend to allow them interference.”“You’d defy them for me?” He sounded a little in awe.“For us.”A big smile broke out on Jim’s face. It was welcome. Spock squeezed his hand.“You, ah, you’re important to my emotional and mental health too,” Jim said.“I am pleased to hear it.”“Well, what about the Vulcan Science Academy? Aren’t you supposed to return to Vulcan to start that?”Spock inclined his head. “Eventually I am supposed to, yes. We will worry about that later. Now I am concerned with your getting well and out of the hospital. I plan to make inquiries with your doctors. Surely they can repair your broken bones.”“Think they are waiting for some tests or something.”Spock nodded. “Is there anything you need? Want?”“A peanut butter ice cream shake?” Jim looked so hopeful there was no way Spock was going to deny him.“Very well, I will go get one for you. In the meantime, please rest.” Spock released his hand and stood, leaning forward to place a chaste kiss on the teen’s forehead.Out in the hospital corridor, Spock checked his messages. There was one from his mother, asking him to contact her, so when he made it outside of the hospital he did so.“Spock! There you are. Is everything okay? How’s Jim?”“He is going to recover.”“Oh good. When are you returning to Vulcan?”Spock looked up at the blue sky above, as a cloud moved over the sun. “I am not returning to Vulcan, Mother.”“What?”“I have no intention of putting Jim or myself through such an examination.”“I see.” But there was a definite smile in her voice. “What should I tell your father?”Spock glanced back at the hospital. “Tell him…tell him I am enlisting in Starfleet.”
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Jim was being released today and he was admittedly anxious. He had to wait for the doctor to clear it and thus far his mother or Sam or even Spock had not yet arrived that morning.He’d been given breakfast of rubbery pancakes, which he’d choked down some, an uncooked sausage patty which he refused to even take a bite of, and orange juice that was entirely pulp-free. Jim liked his with pulp so he knew it was from real oranges.When the door to his room opened, Jim looked up expectantly, hoping it was his family or the doctor, but it was the young doctor who had found him at the side of the road. Um. Leonard Something.“Hi.” Jim frowned. “Doctor Owens called you Bones, right?”He smiled. “That’s right. But my actual name is Leonard McCoy. How are you feeling, Jim?”“Well enough to get out of here.”Bones snorted. Looked at Jim’s breakfast tray. “You didn’t eat much.”Jim wrinkled his nose. “Would you?”“Probably not,” Bones acknowledged. He had a PADD with him and he seemed to be looking over a chart.“That about me?”“It is. I’m a resident here.”“So like a junior doctor.”“Something like that.”“You do seem kinda young to be a doctor. You must be really smart.”“Or really foolish depending how you look at it,” Bones said, cheerfully. “Got a wife. Kid on the way. Lots of pressure.”Jim smiled. “I bet.”“You’re just a kid, though, so never mind that. A lucky kid at that. You could have been killed, Jim, or injured badly. Paralyzed.”“I know. It was stupid. I was upset.”“Uh-huh. I recommend in the future when you’re that upset you don’t get behind the wheel of a car. Anyway, given your age, what are you…fifteen…you don’t get behind the wheel of a car anyway.” He tucked the PADD into a small pocket of the lab coat he wore. “I’ve got to clear it with Doctor Owens, but as soon as your mom gets here, I think you can go home with her.”“Yeah? Thank you.”Bones patted Jim’s calf. “Yeah, I’ll be back in a bit with instructions about what to do at home. Other than no driving.”“No driving,” Jim agreed.A moment after Bones left an orderly came to collect his tray and take away the table he’d been using.Finally, he really would get to go home.Jim could hardly believe Spock was really going to defy his father and stay bonded with him. He hadn’t expected that. Nobody ever chose Jim.“I do.”“Spock!’ Jim sat up straighter, then narrowed his eyes at the young Vulcan standing at the foot of his bed. “Were you listening?”“You do think loudly, Jim. And not only will we are still bonded. I am staying on Earth.”“Yeah, I remember you said. But for how long?”Spock approached Jim closer. “As it happens, I do not know when or if I will return to Vulcan in the near future.”Jim frowned. “But the Vulcan Science Academy—"“I am not going there.”“Don’t tell me they turned you down. I won’t believe that.”Spock arched a brow. “Of course, they did not. I refused them.”“What?”“It is time for me to begin my life independent from my parents and the Elders on Vulcan. I have enlisted in Starfleet Academy and unsurprisingly, my application was immediately accepted.”Jim chuckled. “Yeah, you’re bragging a little bit there, Spock.”Spock shrugged. “A bit perhaps. Until I begin there at the start of the next month, I will be continuing to live with your mother, George Samuel, and you.”“That’s Sam, thank you very much.” Sam entered Jim’s hospital bed. “Mom’s meeting with your doctors right now. You can start getting ready to leave.”“The good news just keeps coming.” Jim tossed aside his blankets.“Who, whoa, there little brother. You’ve still got a wrecked ankle and arm. And a slight concussion.” Sam eyed Spock. “I’ll help you get dressed.”“I can assist—"“No. You can wait in the hallway. We’ll be out in a bit.”Spock nodded. “Very well.”And Jim waited until Spock had left to let Sam ease him out of the bed.“I brought you some clothes.”“Spock’s going to stay with us,” Jim said.“Yeah, I know. He told us. He’s giving the finger to his dad.”“Well, I mean, not really.”“Sorta, yeah. I’m not sure if I trust him or like him, but—"“He did save you and Mom from Tarsus,” Jim reminded him.Sam nodded. “I know. Anyway, I think he likes you and I know you like him, so I’m giving him a chance.”Jim smiled. “Thanks, Sam.”Sam tossed him a shirt. “Let’s get this on.”
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“In order for us to stay connected while I am in San Francisco attending the Starfleet Academy, it is logical to practice melding between us to build a deeper bond. That way we’ll be aware of each other even when not together.”Jim eyed Spock with no little amount of doubt.Currently they were seated on the enclosed back porch of his family’s farmhouse. They were side by side on the porch swing his mom had recently purchased.It was a fairly warm summer night and all around them Jim could hear crickets chirping for girlfriends. On the outside of the porch, he spotted hungry mosquitos desperate to get in for a bit of blood.“Hey. Do mosquitos bite you?”Spock had still been speaking, Jim realized, when he suddenly closed his mouth and stared at Jim rather perturbed.He smiled. “Sorry. Just…I was watching the mosquitos. They love me. Even to the point I’ve gotten Skeeter Syndrome from so many bites.”“Skeeter Syndrome? Is that truly a thing?”“Swear to God. I think Mom has some old pictures she took of my leg all infected with it. You want me to find ‘em?”“No, I will pass. Jim, focus.”“Well, not until you answer.”“Given that my blood has very different elements from Human blood and mosquitos are, thankfully, only an Earth creature the probability of them snacking on me is next to none.”Jim laughed. “Lucky.”Spock arched a brow, shook his head, and took a sip from the iced tea he had brought outside with him. He then set it on a plastic table next to the swing. ‘Were you listening to what I was saying?”“Er. Mostly. You think in order to strengthen our bond so that we can continue to communicate while you’re at the Academy we should practice melding.”Spock appeared surprised Jim had actually understood what he was saying. “Basically, yes.”“Sure, okay, but can’t we do like video calls face to face as we have been doing for years?”“Yes, of course, that will be permissible as time allows. However, I will be required to attend classes that will take up a significant amount of my time.”“I have high school classes too.”Spock tilted his head. “True, but that will likely not require the concentration and time commitment the Academy will require.”Jim pursed his lips and nodded. “You got me there. Honestly, I could skip all my classes at least once a week and still get better grades than most. And probably be better than the teachers.”“Jim.”He held up his hands. “I’m not saying that’s my plan or anything. Exactly. I’m just saying that’s the case.”“Fortunately, your academic time in high school is the responsibility of your mother rather than me.”Jim grinned. “That’s a fancy way of saying you wash your hands of me.”Spock gave him one of his Spock looks, but he didn’t deny it.“I am leaving in two weeks, so if we are going to practice melding, I suggest we begin immediately.”“But we can’t meld long distance, right?”“Correct. As I said, melding now will strengthen the power of our already intact bond.”“Mm. Hey how often do you think you’ll come to visit while you are there? Like at Christmas break? I mean I know you don’t do Christmas but we kind of do. Unless you think you’ll go to Vulcan?”“I am currently not welcome on Vulcan,” Spock said stiffly.Jim grimaced. “Right. I’m sorry. I know that’s my fault.”“It is not.”“Kind of. I know you sort of flicked your nose at the elders because of our bond.”“I believe the expression is ‘thumbed my nose’, but we are getting seriously off topic here.”“Mm,” Jim said again. “So, are you?”Spock blinked. “Am I what?”“Going to come here at Christmas?”Spock sighed. Anyone who said Vulcans didn’t sigh never met either Spock or Sarek.“I have not yet departed for the Academy, I have not thought to make plans for the Winter Break yet.”“Okay.” But Jim was admittedly disappointed by the rejection, which was the way he saw it.Spock was busy making plans on how to get on without Jim while Jim was looking for ways for them to be together. He suspected that was going to be his entire life with Spock. “You are displeased.”Jim would like to think Spock got that idea from the face he made but he suspected since Spock’s thumb currently rested on his wrist, he was mining that information from Jim’s mind. Which, yeah, he didn’t really like.“That’s an unfair advantage by the way.”“Advantage?”Jim moved his wrist away. “Touch telepathy. It means you don’t really have to make an effort to get me, you just put your thumb on my skin and you instantly go, oh sure, Jim’s testy.”“I cannot help being a touch telepath, Jim. It is part of who I am.”“I know that, Spock. I get it. I don’t want to change you. I kinda like you the way you are, but it still sucks. And this melding thing, I’m psi null, right? So how much is our practicing melding going to help me, or is it all going to be to your advantage there, too?”A muscle jumped in Spock’s jaw. “I would think it would be to both of our advantages.” “Aha, see! I may not be a touch telepath, but that right there where your jaw clenched and then that little muscle pulsed, I figured out with that, you’re annoyed.”“Congratulations,” Spock said stiffly.Jim sighed. “All right. I mean I know. We have to learn to understand each part of the other and that’s why you want to meld. But Spock, I just want you to realize that’s not really a substitute for real contact between us.”“I do understand, but there may be times we are separated for significant lengths of time, even after our bond has been fully matured when you reach adulthood. It is my desire to be able to ascertain your wellbeing even across distances by having access to your mind, when possible.” Spock paused and shook his head. “And though you are psi null, I believe melding often will help your ability to also reach my mind and my thoughts when necessary.” Jim smiled. Warmth blossomed in his chest. “You’re really cute when you’re being all logical.”“You are also appealing in appearance. I still wish that you would focus.”“Okay, okay. Give it to me.”Spock rolled his eyes and lifted his hand to Jim’s face. “My mind to your mind, my thoughts to your thoughts.”And for a brief moment, Spock’s presence was there in Jim’s mind. It wasn’t exactly like an intruder, but it was a strange, alien feeling. Jim pushed.Spock jerked back, his hand falling from Jim’s face. His eyes were wide as he stared at Jim.“You threw me out!”“Did I?” Jim bit his lip, sheepishly. “Sorry. It was just…weird. Uh. Maybe we really do need practice, huh?’Spock’s eyes narrowed, but instead of lifting his hand to Jim’s face again, he sat back in the swing.“Perhaps we should wait until tomorrow to try again.”“Did I hurt you?”“It was startling to get thrown out by my T’hy’la. Not painful, but uncomfortable.”Jim placed his hand on Spock’s. “I’m sorry.”Spock nodded. “I accept your apology. For now, perhaps it is best to retire for the night.”“Okay, sure.”But Jim felt a little bad, because Spock looked bothered by it. And honestly, he hadn’t meant to do it. How would he even know how to throw Spock out? He’d do better tomorrow, he promised himself.He got up from the swing and pulled Spock up too, offering a smile.“We’ll get it with practice, I bet.”“Yes.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
The problem with alienating your Vulcan family members was there was no one to ask when your Vulcan abilities did not work as you expected they would.Though Spock had tried to assure Jim he was not bothered by Jim’s stubborn mind tossing him out, Spock really was.Spock was not wrong in that he and Jim were T’hy’la, and yet, when Spock attempted a full meld with Jim, the teenager was not accepting of it.Whether it was a conscious or subconscious rejection of Spock did not matter. It was a rejection. And Spock’s Vulcan side was…bristling.Meditation most assuredly not helping.Nor did an early morning walk.Jim sat on the swing in the covered porch when Spock returned and he straightened at seeing Spock’s arrival.“Morning. I was about to send out a posse.”“A posse?”Jim smiled and shrugged. “More like a search party. Are you okay?”It was on the tip of Spock’s tongue to say that he was. It was his position as the older one in their pairing to reassure his younger mate. And yet, his entire life he had been taught Vulcans did not lie. And he decided that pretending everything was “peachy” as Jim would say would be a mistake.“I am troubled.”Spock stepped up onto the porch steps, opened the screen door and entered the covered area. He hesitated before joining Jim on the swing.“By what happened last night?” At Spock’s nod, Jim sighed. “I didn’t do it on purpose. At least I don’t think I did. As you’ve said, I’m psi null. I wouldn’t know what I was doing anyway.”“Nevertheless, it is troubling that there is something within you that desires to reject me.”“I don’t though.” Jim patted the spot next to him. “I really like you like a lot, Spock. A lot.”Spock’s lips curved slightly. “And I like you as well.”“Then come sit with me and try again. You said yourself you’re going to the Academy in now less than two weeks. Shouldn’t we try?”“Yes.”But Spock could admit he was wary of being rejected again. Still, he moved over to the swing and took the seat beside Jim.“Perhaps we should start out with my hand on your face,” Jim suggested.“Very well.”Jim nodded and raised his hand up to Spock’s cheek. He touched Spock’s face and mimicked the position of his fingers to what Spock had done the day before.“My mind to your mind,” Jim whispered.Nothing happened, which is what Spock had assumed would be the case, but Jim looked disappointed.“See? Doesn’t that prove I’m not really capable of controlling this?”Spock took Jim’s hand off his face and held it for a moment. “Perhaps. It is also entirely possible I am trying to rush things between us in error.”“Rush things?” Jim laughed. “Haven’t we been T’hy’la since I was three? What is that? Twelve years? I don’t think that’s rushing, Spock.”“You know well what I mean. We are both inexperienced in this and I am expecting more than we are currently capable of.” He let go of Jim’s hand and put his own hand to Jim’s face. “I am going to do a shallow meld now, rather than the one I attempted last evening.”Jim blew out a breath. “Okay.”“T’hy’la, what do you fear?”“Fear? I’m not afraid.”Spock would argue that was not true, but he didn’t press it. Instead, he entered carefully into Jim’s mind, without using the words, hoping that wouldn’t put Jim into alert mode. Jim’s mind really was brilliant and compelling and Spock had to fight against the urge to delve deeper. Jim’s mind raced with so many different thoughts at once it was a wonder he could sort through them all. Spock concentrated at the core there, zeroing in on Jim’s thoughts of Spock himself. He was pleased that they centered on affection and a growing trust. There was room for improvement there, but not so much that was insurmountable.Very carefully, Spock withdrew and dropped his hand from his T’hy’la’s face.“Done?” Jim asked, doubtfully.“Yes, for now. I do not wish to overwhelm you or put too much pressure on the bond.”“Okay. I didn’t really feel much. Not like last night.”Spock nodded. “Yes, that is why I decided to do the much shallower meld. But what I experienced did not displease me.”Jim smiled. “Yeah? Good. Maybe we can do it again later this afternoon. It’s breakfast time.”Jim jumped up and ran into the house and Spock followed after at a much more sedate pace.****The time passed quickly in the two weeks they had until Spock left for San Francisco. They talked little about it, concentrating instead on their time together.Spock continued to only do the shallow melds, deciding that full melds might be better when Jim was older and they could fully explore the relationship between them. Jim’s mind did not fight him again.On the morning he departed, the Kirks all drove him to the shuttle bay. Jim was unusually quiet and contemplative but Spock did not push him. The night before Jim had been a little teary and Spock didn’t want to press him to the point he got teary again. Seeing Jim cry was upsetting.“We’ll give you two a moment alone,” Jim’s mom said, kindly. And she drew Sam away from where he and Jim stood.“Boy, those two weeks went fast,” Jim spoke, quietly.“Indeed.”Jim smiled slightly. “I half expected you to tell me that time just passes, not fast or slow, just the way it is supposed to.”“Well.” Spock nodded.Jim glanced away. “You know.”“What, Jim?”Jim’s gaze met his. “Our time together…ever since we first met, it’s just always endless goodbyes and separations. That really sucks.”“Not a word I would have used, but…yes.”“Now you’re going off to start a career in Starfleet. I’m pretty jealous.”“I am older than you.”“Still stinks. You get to be a responsible adult and I’m stuck here dealing with Billy Batsworth.”“Billy—”“Never mind that. I just mean, once again, we’re going to be apart. We’re always apart far more than we are together.”“One day that will no longer be the case,” Spock assured him.“Okay.” Jim nodded but Spock could tell he was not convinced.It hurt to depart from Jim. Spock didn’t like the circumstances much either. But it was what it was.Spock was about to raise the ta’al to say goodbye, but instead Jim moved forward, threw his arms around Spock, and pulled him into a tight embrace.“Don’t forget me,” Jim whispered.A lump of unwelcome emotion formed in Spock’s throat.“I never could.”Jim nodded again, squeezed Spock once more, then released him and stood back.“Live long and prosper.”Jim turned around then and joined his family, leaving Spock to go into the shuttle bay.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Three Years Later Spock held out his PADD to demonstrate to his cadet assistant, Nyota Uhura, what he was attempting to plan for the class he was assigned to instruct, Battle Tactics, tomorrow. It would be only the second time he would be its instructor.They were seated at a table in the Academy cafeteria.Instead of taking the PADD from him, though, she leaned in close, into his personal space, so that her ponytail brushed his nose. Spock recoiled from the tickle.“Oh, sorry about that.” She gave him a bright smile.“What does your husband think of this?”Spock jumped, startled, the PADD slipping from his fingers and onto the floor below.“Jim!”Jim stood before them, dressed in a red cadet’s uniform. He had his arms crossed in front of his chest and he arched both eyebrows.He glanced at Nyota. “I’m the husband by the way. Jim Kirk.”Nyota straightened, leaned back and smoothed out her hair and the front of her uniform. “Uhura.”“Spock did mention me, right?”She rolled her eyes at that. “Of course he did. Although he uses the term mate. And I bet he’s mentioned me too.”Jim laughed. It was a very pleasant laugh, Spock thought.“He did, yes. Although I do think he said something about his ugly assistant.”“Jim.”He laughed again and to both Spock’s and Nyota’s surprise he wedged himself between them and sat down on the edge of the table rather than taking a chair.Nyota stood. “I need to go.”“Don’t leave on my account.”“I’m not. I really do have somewhere to be. It’s nice to finally meet you. I didn’t think you were coming for another week.”Jim nodded. “Plans changed.”“Once you get settled, maybe the three of us can have dinner.”“I’d like that,” Jim replied and with that she waved and walked away.Jim eyed Spock. “You didn’t tell me you had a girlfriend.”“She is not my girlfriend. She is my teaching assistant, which earns her extra credit, and my friend. You are well aware I have a mate since you are that mate.”His smile was somehow soft and teasing. “Just wanted to be sure you knew.”“Jim, did something happen? I did not anticipate your arrival at the Academy for a week.”“No, nothing bad. I just decided I didn’t need or want to wait any longer.” He was continuing to perch himself on the edge of the table. He lost that soft smile, though. “You are glad to see me, right, Spock?”“Of course I am. I am just surprised and processing your unexpected arrival.” Spock noted that Jim seemed to have no belongings with him. “Where are your things?”“I left them in the locker room of the gymnasium. I was told I could.”Spock nodded and rose from his chair. “We should collect them and bring you to my housing.”Jim hadn’t moved but he was watching Spock. “I don’t get a hug?”“Jim.”He rolled his eyes then and jumped down from the table. “Okay fine. But when we’re alone you totally are.” Jim fell into step beside him. He looked Spock up and down. “I like the instructor uniform.”“It is comfortable enough.” Spock took a moment to survey Jim.Jim filled out his too tight uniform quite admirably. His bondmate had grown up to be uncommonly attractive, which could become an issue for a jealous Vulcan. Spock would need to be careful not to act too possessive and overbearing. He had his sandy colored hair cut short and somehow it made him look even better. And Spock had always been fond of his blue eyes.But as Jim got just slightly ahead of Spock, his gaze zeroed on the seat of his pants.“They provided you the incorrect size.”Jim glanced curiously at him. “Huh? No they didn’t.”“But the pants are ill-fitting.”“Too loose?”"Hardly. They are too tight.”Jim snorted. “I gave them the size. They fit fine, Spock.”Spock decided arguing in public was not a good idea so he went with Jim to the locker room for his three duffle bags he’d left there.“That is a lot of stuff.”Jim shrugged.Spock shook his head and picked up all three bags.“I can get those.”“There is no need. I have been provided a new residence on the other side of the campus where instructors stay. You will be staying there with me.”“Well, yeah. Where else would I stay?” Jim reached for a bag, but Spock moved it out of his reach. Jim narrowed his eyes. “I see you haven’t changed much.”“Did you expect me to?” Spock asked, genuinely curious.This time when Jim grabbed a bag, Spock let him take it.They were both quiet then and Spock felt a bit bad about that. He was still getting used to having Jim here with him.The truth was in the three years since Spock had stayed with the Kirks over the summer, Spock hadn’t seen Jim often. That first year he had made the effort to go there for the holiday break but the last two years he had not. He’d been able to take on extra work that had allowed him to advance at the pace he preferred at the Academy, which was why he was now a commander and an instructor, far beyond his peers.He had even missed Jim’s eighteenth birthday which originally he had planned on seeing Jim for that, but something had come up at the Academy that required his attention and so he had been forced to tell Jim he wouldn’t make it.Jim had acted like it hadn’t mattered, but Spock guessed from the slightly wounded feel he detected from their bond, Jim had lied.Of course they had conversed across screens when they could, but it was never for long, and Spock had been, admittedly, busy. It left him wondering now how much he really knew the adult his T’hy’la had become.Not nearly as well as he should, Spock decided.They had reached the on-campus apartment that would be their home for at least the foreseeable future.“Scan your hand, Jim. I pre-programmed it so that it would be ready for your arrival.”Jim held up his hand and smiled when the door opened up to let them in.The lights came on instantly and after Jim set the bag he carried down, he twirled around to check out the apartment.Spock watched him as he gave himself a tour. A lump had formed in his throat and he felt a bit unworthy of this human who was his mate. All these years he should have surely made more of an effort than he had. Part of it had been the Vulcan him, certainly.“There’s only one bedroom,” Jim said.Spock blinked. “Yes. I assumed we would be sharing a bed when you arrived.”Jim’s lips curved upward. “You assumed did you?”“I…”“That’s a good assumption.” He wore a full smile now. “I like it.”Spock looked away as he gathered himself.“Spock? Are you okay?”“I am…I am very happy you arrived early.”Jim stared at him and then came closer to where Spock stood. “Yeah?”Spock opened his arms and after the barest of hesitations, Jim stepped into his arms. Spock closed those arms around him and held him very close.“Yes.” He closed his eyes and stood there holding his T’hy’la.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
One thing was for sure, Spock knew how to make Jim feel unwelcome.Jim was pretty sure Spock wasn’t doing it intentionally. It was just plain enough to Jim that Spock hadn’t wanted him to arrive a week early and now things were pretty awkward.Sure. Spock had claimed to be pleased at the early arrival, but their bond indicated otherwise as far as Jim could tell. Sure he was psi-null but he could still tell from what he was feeling that Spock had a lot of anxiety.Not wanting to make things worse for Spock, Jim forced a smile and stepped out of Spock’s arms.“Well. I guess I can go ahead and unpack my stuff, right? If you have something else you wanted to do, don’t let me keep you. I did surprise you after all.”For a moment Spock looked blank but then he shrugged slightly. Pulled down the uniform tunic he wore.“I have nowhere else to be tonight but here.”“Hmm. Yet you were involved with your girlfriend.”“Jim.”“I’m kidding, Spock. Humans like to diffuse awkward situations with humor. You did seem to be going over Academic stuff with her.”“I was but it was not important and as you heard, she had somewhere to be. I am at your disposal for the rest of the night and can assist you in unpacking and placing your belongings.”Jim nodded. “Okay cool. I’m dying for a cup of coffee.”“One can be replicated for you. Unfortunately I don’t have the means to brew fresh coffee for you as I didn’t realize you were arriving a week early.”He sighed. “I know. And I guess that was a mistake.”“Jim, that is not at all what I am implying. We are going around in circles or cross purposes. Why don’t we go into the bedroom and see to your unpacking.”“Okay. But I’m replicating that coffee first.”****Jim had known since he was what…three…that Spock would be a difficult husband or mate or whatever. He guessed Spock would view him the same.Spock gave him the use of an entire dresser so he put all his clothing in there besides the couple of cadet uniforms he had been given in addition to the one he currently wore. He hung up the uniforms in the closet next to Spock’s.Afterward, they returned to the living room area and Jim was aware Spock kept watching him, though so far he hadn’t said much.“Are you hungry?” Spock asked, his gaze going to the kitchen. “I do not have many ingredients to make the kind of food you prefer.” He paused. “We could go out. Tomorrow I will shop for supplies.”Jim shook his head and took his coffee to sit on the sofa. “I’m not that hungry and I really don’t want to go out.”Spock nodded and joined Jim on the couch, “What do you want to do then?”Jim looked down at the cup he held. “Talk about us, I think.”“Us?”“What’s going on, Spock?”“I do not understand.”Jim leaned forward and put his coffee cup on the table in front of the couch. He turned on the seat to more fully face Spock.“I feel like…you aren’t fully embracing our bond, Spock. I thought before you came here three years ago, that we were in sync. We both made the decision to be together despite what anyone else said.”Spock frowned slightly. “Agreed.”“It doesn’t feel that way anymore to me,” Jim admitted, softly. “You came to Riverside for the first winter break, but I don’t know, Spock, it felt like you didn’t want to be there, and since then you haven’t come at all. I’m not a priority for you.”“Jim—”Jim held up his hand. “I get that you aren’t the same as me. You’re a Vulcan and you process things differently and think and feel differently. I’m not asking you to be Human, Spock. Over the years since we met and realized who we are to each other, I’ve gotten to know you some, and I hope you’ve gotten to know me. Because we haven’t gotten to spend every day of every year together…heck sometimes no time at all for years, I know we aren’t going to know each other as well as we should. But I’ve been feeling like…out of sight out of mind with you and since you’ve made the decision to be out of sight lately I feel like you don’t think about me at all.”Spock closed his mouth and looked uncertain.So Jim continued, “I know the Academy is important to you. You’ve wanted to prove to everyone it was the right decision over the Science Academy. And you want to be better than everyone else. You are. And I even understand that. I have some of that in me as well. But I know what it’s like not to matter that much and I really don’t like feeling that with you, Spock.”The Vulcan looked stricken then and Jim thought maybe he’d hit some kind of nerve.They’d had so many ups and downs since they met when Jim was three and Spock six, some of which Jim hadn’t thought they could come back from. They always had though. He didn’t want to think this time would be any different.“Spock, what are you thinking?” Jim finally asked after his silence continued.“That I have done a great disservice if you think even for a moment that you are not of utmost importance to me,” Spock spoke quietly. “There is no one more important to me than you, Jim. I apologize without reservation for ever making you doubt that.”Jim bit his lip and nodded.“I suspect I have never spoken the words out loud as sometimes I overestimate the ability of our bond to communicate this to you. I love you, Jim. I have for a very long time. I agree my singular focus on proving myself worthy in Sarek’s eyes, which I do not believe is an obtainable goal, has caused me to neglect you shamefully.”“Spock, I—"“Allow me to finish, if you will. I wish to first say that despite the surprise of your early arrival, I am most anxious to begin our life together, and I anticipate sharing every day and night with you for years to come. That you doubted that pains me. I promise to do better from now forward, though, I do suspect there will be other times I inadvertently neglect you.”Jim’s heart hurt and it was painful to swallow. He refused to acknowledge that his eyes were stinging with unshed tears.Instead he scooted over on the couch and basically flung himself onto Spock, wrapping his arms tight around the Vulcan.“I love you too,” he whispered wetly against Spock’s neck. “So much. And I promise to do better too.”Spock’s arms came up around him, holding him close. “That is logical.”Jim laughed and pulled back to look at Spock. ”Yeah it is. Now I really want to try out that bed.”Spock arched his brow. “Really?”“Oh yeah.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Jim figured he must be getting better at this bond thing with Spock than he thought because immediately he sensed quite a bit of anxiety from Spock and he wasn’t even sure why.
He frowned and rose from Spock’s lap. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
“Vulcans aren’t supposed to lie.”
Spock shook his head. “I do not lie. I would honestly say that there is nothing wrong as I understand your meaning.”
“What then?”
“I believe…” And Spock paused to rise. “As you would understand it, I am nervous.”
Jim’s eyes widened as he stared at Spock. “Nervous?”
“I, like you, have not experienced that sort of intimacy,” Spock explained.
“Well.” And here Jim smiled. “I would hope not.”
“Jim.”
He went to Spock and grabbed his wrists and then his hands to hold him and pull him close. “Don’t you want this? Me?”
“I want you more than my next breath, T’hy’la, but I fear disappointing you, ruining what we have, as I have almost already done.”
Jim softly kissed Spock. “You can’t disappoint me. Anything we do that is together is never a disappointment. It’s when you leave me out that I’m disappointed.” He smiled. “Come on, let’s get on the bed, okay? We can lie there with our clothes on for a while, yeah?”
Spock swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing, and nodded. “Very well.”
Jim led them over to the bed in Spock’s—their place—and then gently pushed Spock onto the bed on his back. He almost told Spock to scoot over but instead went around to the other side of bed and got on, lying next to Spock on his side, facing the Vulcan.
He placed his hand on Spock’s still clothed chest. “Isn’t this nice?”
“Yes. Should I turn to my side?”
Jim smiled. “Only if you want to.”
After a moment Spock shifted to his side, facing Jim. “You are beautiful, T’hy’la. I always find myself being overwhelmed by you, but now that you are a man…”
“What?”
Spock lowered his gaze. “I cannot begin to guess what you would see in a skinny, scrawny Vulcan.”
“I see my bondmate.”
Spock shook his head and looked at Jim. “Someone you are merely stuck with since you were informed at only three that we were mates.”
Jim laughed which he could see surprised Spock. “You think I’m stuck with you? No way.”
“No?”
“I could have ditched you a million times over the years since we met. Your dad sure wanted that. For the longest time I thought I was the only one who wanted this.”
“I defied my father and the elders.”
“Yeah, you did. But until tonight I pretty much figured you did that as a ‘fuck you’ to them more than an embracing of me. We’re together now, after what? Fifteen years of this bullshit because we want to be. Maybe our compatible minds have something to do with it, but that’s not the important thing.”
“What is then?”
Jim took Spock’s hand and placed it on his heart. He put his own hand on Spock’s side over his heart.
“This. We are together because of this.”
Spock’s brows furrowed and his breath shook. “You are wise.”
“I know.”
“And even somewhat…logical.” He said this with his eyelids lowered and his voice husky.
“You’re just trying to get into my pants now.”
“Yes,” Spock admitted, breathlessly.
Jim’s pulse jumped. “Can we take our clothes off now?”
“We definitely should.”
He reached for Spock’s and Spock reached for his and at some point Jim thought somebody’s clothes ended up torn, but neither of them cared as they were flung to the floor.
Bare skin slid against bare skin, hands stroking, reaching, mouths pressed hard together, tasting, soaking in everything.
When Spock ended up on top of Jim, Jim squirming beneath him, arms and legs tangling together.
“I can—”
“No, I would like—”
And then they were joined, moving together as one, breaths and mouths mingling, thrusting and rising.
Jim had never felt or even imagined anything like it really. Then toward the end when both were nearing release, Spock’s fingers rose to Jim’s face, his dark, passionate eyes seeking permission, which Jim readily gave.
Their minds connected instantly, a golden thread intertwining with warm amber, tightening as the strands wound together.
They collapsed after everything, nearly unconscious it seemed to Jim, barely able to move, but unable or unwilling to untangle themselves from each other.
It was much later, Jim didn’t really know how much, when he stirred awake. He was alone in bed, he realized, but then smiled when a fully clothed Spock stood nearby looking down on him.
“Hey.”
Spock’s lips twitched. “Hey yourself. Would you like tea or coffee?”
“Tea’s good. And maybe something to eat? I’m kind of hungry.”
“A pizza has already been ordered and is on its way for your consumption.”
“Yeah? You’re amazing.” He yawned big.
“And you are still exhausted. After you eat, you should return to sleeping.”
“Maybe. I need a shower.”
“You have time before the pizza arrives.”
Jim rose and swung his legs onto the floor, groaning a little for being a bit sore all over. A good sore, of course.
Spock helped him to stand. “Do you require assistance?”
“Heck no, or I’ll never get to eat.” He chuckled at Spock’s slight blush. “I’ll be out in a bit.”
And as he stood under the hot spray of the shower, he let himself breathe out, relaxing into the relief of finally being there with Spock to begin their life.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
“Mother, I have made my choice.”
Mother looked at Spock quizzically as she prepared a meal in the kitchen. “What choice would that be, Spock?”
“Between Sam and Jim. I will bond with Jim.”
Her hand came up to her mouth and then she shook her head. She took his hand. “Come here, darling.” She led him over to the dining room table and chairs and had him sit. She smiled at him. “Spock, you and Jim won’t bond.”
Spock furrowed his brows. “I am not allowed to choose between them?”
“No. That isn’t what I meant. When Winona Kirk and I talked about that, Spock, it was just in fun. We were joking. Humans do that.” She squeezed his hands. “Your father has already chosen someone for you to bond with when it is time. When you are seven, we will have the preliminary ceremony.”
“Who has my father chosen?”
“The daughter of one of his associates,” Mother explained. “Of similar age to you. Her name is T’Pring.”
“Wait,” Jim interrupted their mind-meld loudly. “So when we first got to Vulcan, you thought your parents had arranged for us to get married?”“Yes. Apparently I misunderstood a jest between our mothers. I did tell you about their supposed arrangement back then.”Jim laughed. “I was three, Spock. I don’t really remember. Isn’t that why you’re showing me this?”Spock gave him a look. “Hush, T’hy’la, so I may continue.”
“Come. We must tell Father.”
“Tell him what?” Jim asked as Spock led him back into the house.
“That you are my T’hy’la.”
Spock saw that his mother and Jim’s were seated at the dining room table drinking tea and talking. He did not see Sam anywhere which was fine with Spock. He walked down the hallway toward his father’s study, Jim in tow. The door was closed so Spock knocked.
“Come.”
Spock pushed open the door and pulled Jim inside. “Father.”
“Spock, what is this?”
Spock felt suddenly rather nervous when faced with his father’s stare. But the information was important.
“I have come to advise you that I am unable to be bonded with T’Pring next year when I am seven.”
Father raised his brows. “I see. And why is that?”
Spock took a deep breath. “I have found my T’hy’la.”
“Your…T’hy’la. Amanda?” Father called out.
Spock tried not to wince.
Mother appeared at the door of Father’s study, along with Mrs. Kirk.
“Spock! Jim!” Mother gasped. “You aren’t supposed to be bothering your father when he is working. I’m sorry, Sarek. I had no idea—”
“Spock says he has found his T’hy’la.”
“His what?” Mrs. Kirk asked.
“Oh.” Mother put her hand to her chest. “But who?”
Father looked at Spock.
Spock pulled Jim forward. “Jim. Jim is my T’hy’la.”
Jim laughed out loud, once more breaking off Spock’s attempt to show him their young life. This time Spock lowered his hands from Jim’s face and gave him a reproachful look. Jim was having none of that and continued to grin at him.“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. But man, Sarek’s sourpuss face is hilarious.”“You were intimidated by him then.”“Yeah, well, I’m not a kid anymore, and I’m now much more certain where we stand together.”Spock was pleased to hear this. “Yes, exactly. Together.”Jim had been seated in Spock’s lap on the couch in their campus living quarters during the meld, but now that Spock had abandoned it for the moment, Jim eased himself off and instead lounged lengthwise on the sofa so that his calves and bare feet were now in Spock’s lap.“I only have vague memories from those days. More like flashes than anything else. I remember being sad Sam said you weren’t going to marry me.”Spock chose his words carefully. “Your brother and I have not always seen eye to eye."Jim snorted. “Hell, me too. He’s a big pain in the ass. He was even mad when I begged you to save him and my mother.”“He does care about you, though.”“Hmm. So what do you think about doing a formal thing?”“A formal thing?”“Seems to me that it’s taken us a long time to get here, Spock. We’ve both…managed to hurt each other along the way.” Jim sighed. “I regret when I didn’t stand up to those guys in Toronto when they called you names.”“You were a child seeking the approval of your peers.”“Still. I know it hurt you and I’m sorry. I’ll always be sorry.”Spock nodded. “I accept your apology just as I did then.”Jim shook his head. “You said you did, but I wasn’t sure you were being honest with either of us. You shut me out for a long time.”“I did and that was wrong. I was a child too, Jim, and dealing with becoming more aware of myself and the world around me. And coming up short to many. Myself included.”“Anyway, my point was that I think we’ve both done or said things we wish we could take back. I’d fight every bully you ever came across right now, Spock.”“There is no need. And if you recall you did try to defend me to those on my planet who called me names.”“Fuckers,” Jim muttered, once more using the names for them he’d used way back then, when he was ten and Spock reprimanded him for the use of it.Spock’s lips curved in amusement. “Fortunately, I can fight my own battles. I’ve learned not to pay bullies any mind, be they Humans or Vulcans.”“Well, still. I know we’re mates but I think it would be nice to have a formal ceremony on Vulcan in front of our families, in front of your dad,” Jim said, rather pointedly.“I have become accustomed to the truth that I will never earn Sarek’s respect for my choices.”“Yeah, well, I’d like him to still try. And he did, you know. He did agree to help my family be rescued from Tarsus. He didn’t have to and he did. So, yeah, maybe I want to punch his face sometimes for trying to keep us apart, but I also think there’s hope for him.”Spock hummed.“And sure.” Jim grinned. “I want to rub his face in it and have to witness us being formally bonded as T’hy’la.”“You have barely begun your courses, Jim, but when the next break happens, yes, I believe we can make the journey to Vulcan to be bonded in front of our families.”Jim moved once more to snuggle close to Spock, this time still lying across him, but with his face next to Spock’s so that he could kiss him.“I love you. And I love that you’re my soulmate.”“T’hy’la,” Spock murmured against Jim’s mouth.“Same thing.”Spock rested his fingers once more on Jim’s face, to share a memory from so long ago.
“Hello.”
“Greetings, Jim.”
Jim shook his head. “Why can’t you just say hi like normal?”
Spock hesitated. “I am not…normal.”
“You can come in if you want. I have cookies.”
Spock walked over to Jim’s bed and reached down to take a cookie from the plate. “You scared me before.”
“Scared?”
Spock nodded. “When you disappeared.”
“I told you I was going.”
Spock sighed and sat on the bed. “You are too young to go on your own, Jim. You could have gotten lost. Or that man might have kidnapped you.”
Jim shot the creature in his video game. “Can take care of myself.”
“No, you cannot.”
Jim huffed. “If you didn’t hear me, how come you found me so quick?”
“Our bond.”
Jim scrunched up his face. “Huh?”
“Because our minds are linked, in a way, I was able to feel where you were.” Spock shrugged a little. “I am not exactly sure how it all works either, yet, Jim. But I knew where you were because you are my T’hy’la. It is fortunate. That man was scary.”
“Yeah,” Jim agreed. He frowned. “Don’t feel you. It’s just me in here.”
Spock’s lips curved. “It will take some getting used to. For both of us. But we are both young, so there is time. And some day, an elder will see that our bond is fully realized.”
“Aha!!” Jim yelled triumphantly. “See, young you wanted us to formally bond in front of elders, too.”“Yes,” Spock agreed. “You are wise, Jim.”“About time you admitted it.” And he framed Spock’s face, kissing him breathless.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Spock heard music coming from the residence he shared with Jim. He’d just finished his last class before the break when he and Jim would go to Vulcan to formally bond before their families. Jim’s last class had been that morning and he had informed Spock that he had returned home.As he went to open the door, he heard Jim singing along with the song, which made him pause to listen. Jim had a very pleasing voice.“Some say love, it is a hunger, an endless aching need, I say love it is a flower, and you, it’s only seed.”Spock opened the door then and spotted Jim in their living room. He smiled and held out his hand.“Dance with me.”“Jim?”“Dance with me.”“I do not know—”Jim shook his head, his smile never faltering. “Don’t think too much. Just come here.”Spock let his book bag fall to the floor as he made his way over to Jim. He pulled his T’hy’la into his arms, one arm around Jim’s waist and the other holding his hand, as he had seen many times with Human dances. He had never done this before and yet, somehow, it seemed natural.They swayed to the music, the song.As the song played, Jim continued to hum along to it, until he once more began to sing.“And you think that love is only for the lucky and the strong, just remember in the winter, far beneath the bitter snows, lies the seed that with the sun’s love, in the spring becomes the rose.”Spock was surprised to feel the sting of tears pooling in his own eyes. He shook his head and leaned forward to capture Jim’s lips with his.When they broke that kiss to breathe, Spock stared into Jim’s beautiful eyes, held his breath at Jim’s gorgeous warm smile. “You are that sun, Jim. My sun.”“Las’hark,” Jim whispered. His thumb wiped at Spock’s cheek and Spock realized a tear had escaped onto his cheek. “Let’s go get married.”****Jim was sweating. He had no idea how Vulcans managed to wear these heavy robes without collapsing. He tugged at the collar.“Stop,” his mother admonished, grabbing onto his hands. “You’re going to mess everything up.”“I feel like I’m going to pass out,” Jim complained. “I shouldn’t have volunteered to wear this thing.”She smiled and shook her head. “What else would you have worn?”“My birthday suit.”She laughed. “That would have shocked the Vulcans.”“They could use a little shock I think.” Jim frowned. “Is everyone here? Sam?”“Yes, yes. Everyone’s here. Waiting outside in the burning sun.”The door opened and in walked Leonard McCoy. Bones. The man who had saved him after that car wreck when he was still a stupid kid. And now Bones was at Starfleet Academy just like him.“Bones!”“Hey kid. I have something for you.”“Yeah?”Bones pulled out a hypo.“Hey, wait!”Bones shook his head. “Trust me. This will help with the heat and your breathing. Have I ever steered you wrong?”“No,” Jim admitted. He barely refrained from wincing at the hypo needle pierced his skin. “What’s going on out there?”“Everyone’s lined up and waiting for you two lovebirds to appear.”“Sarek too?”“Sure, sure. Looks like he ate an onion but he’s there.”Jim laughed. “That’s his everyday expression.”“Jim?” But his mother was laughing too.“Okay. See you out there.” And Bones left him and his mom alone once more.She took hold of his hands again. “Have I told you how absolutely proud and happy I am that you are my son?”“Not in the last ten minutes,” he joked.“You know, I never dreamed, all those years ago before I married George and Amanda married Sarek, and we talked about how one day our kids should get married, that it would really happen.”“It wouldn’t have if Sarek had anything to say about it.”“You have to let go of that, baby.”Jim rolled his eyes. “I have. And jeez, Mom, I’m long past baby stage.”“One day when you have a child, you’ll understand.”He snorted. “Not happening.” He sucked in a breath and let it out slowly. “I think I’m ready.”She threw her arms around him then and he hugged her tight. She wiped at her face and then went to the door to open it.“I’ll be outside with the others, waiting.”Then he was alone. He felt inside his pocket where he’d put the item he intended to present to Spock during their bonding ceremony.With a nod, Jim went to the door, opened it, and stepped out into the oppressive heat.T’Pau, the Vulcan healer who’d confirmed his bond with Spock all those years ago, stood waiting next to an imposing pillar. On either side of her stood Vulcan guards.Jim saw Sam, his mom, and Bones all standing together on one side, and on the other, Sarek, Amanda, and a bunch of Vulcans he only vaguely knew.A gong was struck somewhere in the distance, its powerful tinny sound making Jim finally move forward to where T’Pau stood.He bowed before her. She bowed back. And then a moment later, more guards arrived, escorting Spock. He was dressed in Vulcan robes similar to what Jim wore, but he looked cool as a cucumber. Lucky.As Spock approached where Jim stood, Jim couldn’t help but glance back at Sarek. A very immature part of Jim wanted to stick out his tongue, but he didn’t. In the end, Sarek had accepted what was between him and Spock.The day before, Sarek had come to speak to him.
“I am not opposed to your bonding with my son,” Sarek said.
Jim nodded. “Okay.”
Sarek hesitated. “I know that you are under the impression—”
“No, not anymore. I know that you did oppose it at one time, though. I don’t think you can deny that.”
“I sought a Vulcan mate for my son, yes. I thought it would serve him better than a Human one.”
“Yet you have a Human wife yourself.”
“That was logical.”
“Uh-huh. Listen, Spock’s the one who told me I was his T’hy’la. Your own elder confirmed it, and you still tried to change things.”
Sarek considered this and nodded. “I was in error.”
“Yeah, you were.” But Jim relented. “But I know you wanted what was best for Spock. It just so happens I am what’s best for Spock.” He smiled. “And tomorrow we’ll formally bond. With you there to observe.”
Sarek arched a brow. “Indeed.”
Jim grinned and slapped Sarek on the arm. “And when I make a Starfleet Captain, you can be there for that too.”
“I would not miss it.”
Jim met Spock’s gaze as they stood before T’Pau. Spock put his left hand over Jim’s. They’d compromised on rings. Rather than jewelry, they’d gotten tattoos around their left ring fingers, reading T’hy’la in both Vulcan and Standard.The Vulcan bonding ceremony began as T’Pau spoke in Vulcan.Jim responded to each prompt as he had been told to do, but in reality it all kind of went over his head, because he just couldn’t stop staring at Spock. And being rather amazed that they’d gotten to this place.Bony Vulcan fingers touched his right temple as T’Pau declared their bond fully formed.And in standard, she declared, “Thy bond is one of the strongest I have ever felt.”Jim resisted looking once more at Sarek.Instead he turned to face Spock as T’Pau’s fingers slipped from their faces. Jim reached into the pocket of his robe and pulled out a dark red flower which he presented to Spock.Spock’s eyes were warm and tender.“A rose.”