Work Text
The list of reasons why Yoongi doesn’t want to be an idol is so long it could fill a book, yet here he is in a studio about to meet a supposed member of his future k-pop group.
He feels nauseated just thinking about it.
He imagines what he’d be forced to wear and do. All the bright colors and soft lipsticks. It’s not what he wants, but he’d long ago decided that all of it would be worth it if he could get his songs on the radio. Here at BigHit, they weren’t only supportive but
excited
that Yoongi was a producer and would be making his own tracks.
He had found something rare with them. He keeps trying to remind himself of that, but it doesn’t stop the cringey aegyo bullshit scenarios from flashing through his mind.
The gears in his mind abruptly screech to a stop as the boy walks into the room.
His eyes flick over the boy’s face before he looks away, annoyed. There’s no way this boy is gonna be ‘the pretty one’ so Yoongi assumes they’re forcing the title onto him. This better be at least a three person group or he’s out.
The boy bows. “Hi, I’m Kim Namjoon! It’s so good to meet you! We’ve been working hard here.”
Yoongi rolls his eyes before he can stop himself. He shrugs it off and bows back. “Nice to meet you too. I’m Min Yoongi.”
Namjoon smiles widely. “I’ve heard your tracks. You’re amazing. And you remixed the audition track, that was legendary! I can’t wait to work with you!”
Yoongi nods, already feeling out of his element.
He’d been told this would be a hip hop group. Nothing pop or idol about it, but when they told him about their shift in image, he stuck to it. Whatever gets his music on the radio. That’s his mantra until he makes a name for himself. He can reevaluate later.
He’d heard some of Namjoon’s work by now, but the eager-to-please boy in front of him is not exactly what he’d had in mind when it came to a writing partner. “Yeah, you too”, is the most he can manage right now.
Namjoon doesn’t seem fazed.
-x-
Over the next week or so Namjoon doesn’t shut up.
Yoongi can feel the lack of control he has. As soon as it’s quiet for a moment, Namjoon’s rambling stupidly to fill the silence as if that’s some sort of quantifier for how well they’re getting along. It’s really just giving Yoongi a headache.
“How many girlfriends have you had?” Yoongi interrupts whatever Namjoon was saying, just to see how he reacts to the question.
Namjoon’s thrown, eyes wide and cheeks reddening. “G‒girlfriends?”
Yoongi shrugs as he clicks around on the computer in the studio they met up in. “That’s what I said.”
Namjoon hesitates. “Why? Did you want to write a song about old relationships?”
Yoongi nods. “Yeah, we could write diss tracks about all the girls who hurt us.”
Namjoon laughs awkwardly, nervous. “I don’t think they’d want us to do that. If we’re really going for more of an idol image, we shouldn’t be talking down on girls.”
Yoongi lets out a breath. He wasn’t suggesting that, he just wanted to hear Namjoon relax for a second. Apparently that’s not possible. “So you’ve never dated?”
Namjoon squeaks, appalled, “What?! Yes, I have. I’ve had sex.”
Yoongi laughs to himself. It’s not that he doesn’t believe Namjoon, it’s just such a non sequitur to try to prove he’s cool. “I didn’t ask if you had sex, Namjoon.”
Namjoon’s brow furrows. “You asked if I dated.”
“Yeah,
dated.
I didn’t ask about sex. You can date without sex, you know.”
“I know.” Namjoon studies Yoongi for a moment. “I’ve had three girlfriends. What about you?”
“One.” Yoongi hums. “And a half? We flirted but we were never official. After we debut, she’ll wish we were.”
Namjoon narrows his eyes. “Why do you say stuff like that?”
Yoongi tenses. He can feel Namjoon psychoanalyze him and it puts his defenses up. “Like what?”
Namjoon prods. “Like disrespectful stuff.”
Yoongi continues deflecting. “We’re rappers, aren’t we? Half the shit we say should be disrespectful or people won’t listen to us.”
Namjoon frowns. It’s the first time Yoongi’s seen it. He’s been smiling like an idiot all week. “I don’t believe that. I think it’d be really cool if we could be rappers without insulting people all the time. That’s what I talked to PD Bang about. That’s probably why they’re letting me stay after rebranding into an idol group.”
Yoongi laughs, but in his head he’s kind of impressed. “What, so you want to be a
nice
rapper?”
Namjoon looks confused, “You don’t? They wouldn’t have asked you to train for Bangtan if you were going to be like the other guys who left when the group changed.”
Yoongi doesn’t respond to that, just pretends to have found something interesting to read through on the monitor.
Namjoon watches him, still expecting a reply.
When he doesn’t get one, he sighs.
It’s not even an annoyed sigh. No, that’d be too easy to ignore.
He’s disappointed.
And if that doesn’t just hit Yoongi’s weak spot.
Namjoon stands up. “Whatever. I’m gonna head back to the dorm.”
Yoongi stands up suddenly in response. “Wait.” His mind is spinning rapidly. He
knows
BigHit kept Namjoon. They want him to stay. Yoongi’s new and if he can’t get along with Namjoon, they’ll kick him out. Yoongi gestures to the computer. “Show me what you’re working on.”
Namjoon blinks, confused at the rapid shift in conversation. He stares at Yoongi, long and deep.
Yoongi tries not to squirm and fails.
Suddenly, Namjoon smiles. “You no good at this, are you?”
Yoongi frowns. “No good at what?”
Namjoon shakes his head as he sits down again. “Making friends.”
Yoongi’s shocked for a moment by the statement. He stands behind Namjoon and stares at the back of his head.
Namjoon quietly pulls up the files he’s been working on.
Yoongi sits down without a word and listens to Namjoon talk through his progress.
-x-
They continue on like that for another week.
Namjoon still won’t stop talking, but this time Yoongi listens.
He doesn’t say much.
Namjoon’s confused by it at first, but he can tell this is Yoongi’s version of trying. He still snaps back with semi insulting responses, but Namjoon can feel his regret as he realizes he’s been offensive again.
Namjoon is in the middle of talking about a funny story from high school when Yoongi blurts out‒“It’s not that I’m bad at making friends.”
Namjoon blinks. “What?”
Yoongi clears his throat. “I’m not bad at making friends. I’m bad at making
good
friends.”
Namjoon waits.
Yoongi looks at him expectantly like that was supposed to be enough. He sees Namjoon doesn’t follow and sighs, frustrated. He runs his hands through his hair. “My friends in high school were assholes. I did well in school, top of my class, but I couldn’t get along with people very well. I was too quiet for the social people and liked hip hop too much for the quiet people. I didn’t fit in with anyone so I just ended up hanging out with guys from the basketball team who liked hip hop. That’s just how we talked to each other.”
Namjoon absorbs that. It’s probably the most Yoongi’s said to him since they met. “You didn’t have any good friends in high school?”
Yoongi shrugs. “I mean, sort of. I have one friend I keep in touch with still. Just, whenever we didn’t have classes together, I had to try to find someone else and I mean yeah. I’m shit at making friends. You’re fucking right, okay?”
Namjoon laughs. He doesn’t mean to, but he does. He quickly tries to explain himself, “People aren’t flat, you know that, don’t you? You seem like you know that.”
Yoongi makes a face. “What?”
Taking a deep breath, Namjoon continues, “Like, you said ‘the social people’ but people aren’t just social. Social people can like hip hop. Don’t get me wrong, high school fucking sucks. Everyone scatters into their stupid little groups and just decide to be friends cause they have literally one thing in common.” Namjoon studies Yoongi again. He doesn’t squirm as much as he did the first few times. “I think you and I have a lot in common.”
Yoongi scoffs. “You don’t insult people all the time.”
Namjoon smirks and tosses a pad of paper at him. “Well, not out loud.”
Yoongi raises an eyebrow and starts flipping through the pad. Curse words and hateful disses cover the page, all rhythmic and rhyming.
Yoongi stills, nods his head to the beat of a verse he finds.
He pushes past Namjoon and opens up a beat he laid out last week that didn’t have lyrics yet.
Yoongi points at the verse in the pad and hits play on his track. “It fits here.”
They listen to the track a few times and then Yoongi shyly records Namjoon rapping over his track. It sparks something in his chest that feels an awful lot like trust.
-x-
Fuck Kim Namjoon.
It’s their third week together and Yoongi’s thinking about his list of reasons why he didn’t want to be an idol.
Namjoon is a walking embodiment of about half of those things and it’s maddening.
Okay, maybe not half but…
Namjoon runs around the dorm, trying to decide what to wear to their meeting.
Now, Yoongi’s been doing a pretty good job of keeping his eyes to himself but they usually change pretty quickly.
Namjoon pacing around the room all comfortably in his underwear is a little hard to avoid seeing.
But that doesn’t matter, because Namjoon is not remotely Yoongi’s type.
Nope. Not at all.
-x-
Yoongi knows Namjoon asked him something.
He knows he’s supposed to say something but‒fuck he was really staring at his lips, wasn’t he?
Yoongi clears his throat, “Sorry, I zoned out. Didn’t sleep much.”
Namjoon laughs. “Dude, you never sleep. I always hear you up on your laptop at like 3am typing away at lyrics or clicking through your tracks.”
Yoongi smiles shyly. He’s still adjusting to praise from Namjoon. He’s not used to such direct support. Especially not from someone who actually knows what they’re talking about.
Namjoon carries on, “Yeah, they found a third member.”
Yoongi’s heart sinks. “Oh. A third.”
Namjoon nods excitedly. “He’s a street dancer. He’s so fucking good. They sent the audition tape in the email. Did you watch it?”
Yoongi shakes his head. “No, I didn’t check my email yet.”
Namjoon already has the video open to show him. He
is
good. Namjoon smiles. “He’s gonna be great. He’s not a rapper, but he’s sung a bit and he’s really outgoing! So he’ll cover up our awkwardness. Neither of us are great talkers.” He bumps Yoongi’s shoulder familiarly. Yoongi can’t remember when he let Namjoon into his personal space like that. “He seems really nice. I’m really excited to meet him. He’s my age so I won’t have to call him hyung like I do with you!”
Yoongi’s eyes are looking at something far away. He can’t bring himself to respond.
Namjoon’s excitement quickly morphs into worry. “Hyung?”
Yoongi shakes his head. “Sorry. I think I actually fell asleep for a second.”
Namjoon laughs, still a little worried, but lets it go. “We’re gonna meet with him tomorrow!”
Yoongi doesn’t sleep much that night either.
-x-
Jung Hoseok and Namjoon are fast friends.
Yoongi watches it happen before his eyes.
Hoseok gives off the same vibe Namjoon did. He’s nervous, but eager to please. Their energies merge easily.
Yoongi stands off to the side, unsure how or when to jump into their conversation.
Hoseok does him a favor and directs questions to him every so often, but Yoongi can’t find where he fits with them.
He doesn't mean to be dramatic, but his breathing keeps getting shorter and shorter.
He turns while Hoseok is mid-sentence and runs from the room to find the nearest bathroom. He can feel practically see Bangtan being formed and it’s going on without him.
Yoongi barely finishes vomiting into a toilet when he hears the door slam open behind him and Namjoon’s loud footsteps barging in. “Yoongi hyung?”
Yoongi tries to respond but just ends up gagging and vomiting again.
Namjoon tries to joke to calm him down from outside the stall. “Oh, come on. He wasn’t
that
bad looking.”
Yoongi’s laughter is shaky. Namjoon can hear him hyperventilating through it.
Namjoon puts his head against the stall door. “Dude, what happened?”
Yoongi can’t answer that. He doesn’t know what to say. “I’m shit at making friends.”
Namjoon laughs, but he knows now that this is a weak spot for Yoongi. “He seemed to like you just fine. What made you so nervous?”
Yoongi blurts it out. He doesn’t know why he decides to be so honest, but it just spills out of him, “He likes you more than me.”
Namjoon’s silent for a moment. He didn’t notice anything like that so he doesn’t really know what to say to help Yoongi. He knows Yoongi tends to be blunt and factual so maybe…“Well they said they’re aiming for six or seven for the group, so maybe someone else will come along who will get along better with you.”
The sink drips as the two boys fall into an awkward stalemate.
Yoongi coughs and spits into the toilet before flushing it. “Just go out and tell him I felt sick or something. I’ll see you at the dorm.”
“Hyung‒”
“Namjoon, just go.”
It takes a moment but Namjoon reluctantly leaves the room.
Yoongi unlocks the stall and moves to the sink, washing his face and rinsing his mouth.
Jealousy burns like a fire in his eyes.
He hates himself.
He can’t hold it together for a week. He’s not stable enough for this. He’s going to crash and burn and they’re going to dump him and this will all have been for nothing.
-x-
Namjoon starts to spend a lot of time with Hoseok to ‘make him feel welcome’.
Yoongi knows it’s not a big deal. He knows he should be doing the same, but that small voice in the back of his head tells him that Namjoon is relieved to have better company around.
And Yoongi likes Hoseok. He really does.
It’s just that‒
But that’s not worth thinking about
[TEXTS]
yoongi: joon ah, can you meet me in the studio. just us. need feedback.
namjoon: you sure just me? hoseok has a pretty good instinct for this stuff already
yoongi: please just you this time
namjoon: is something wrong
yoongi: yes. my fucking track. just come help me.
namjoon: be right there hyung. im eating with hobi
yoongi: why is his nickname hobi
namjoon: why dont you ask him yourself
yoongi: know what never mind. ill fix it myself. have fun with your boyfriend
namjoon: ??? wtf hyung. hes not my bf thats gross. calm down. what the hell is wrong with you
[END TEXTS]
Gross.
Yoongi keeps looking at that word.
Gross.
Without meaning to, he totally shuts down.
-x-
Yoongi continues to show up to all their meetings, trainings, rehearsals. He’s not his normal self. He’s not pushing as hard as usual. He’s not as focused. He’s not excited.
He’s just there, doing what he’s asked.
Hoseok doesn’t notice. Namjoon does.
-x-
They have a morning off and the three of them sit in the dorm that is quickly starting to feel more and more cramped.
Hoseok looks between Yoongi and Namjoon as they try to avoid each other. “Are you guys fighting?”
They both say no too quickly.
Hoseok snorts. “Hm. Believable.”
Yoongi mumbles, “What the fuck do you know?”
But the dorm is too small and quiet, they both hear him.
Namjoon shoots him a glare. “Don’t fucking talk to him like that. Why are you such an asshole to strangers?”
Yoongi rolls his eyes. “Why are you such a fucking suck up?”
Namjoon takes a deep breath in and lets it out harshly. “You know, I really thought we were bonding. I thought we were friends.”
Yoongi sneers, “Well you think I’m gross so you can fuck off.”
Namjoon’s anger turns to confusion. “What? When did I ever call you gross?”
Yoongi realizes his mistake too late. He storms out of the living room and slams the door to the bedroom.
Namjoon can’t figure out what just happened.
He looks to Hoseok. “Did you ever hear me call him gross?”
Hoseok frowns and shakes his head.
Namjoon racks his brain. Then he pales.
He pulls out his phone and scrolls.
hes not my bf thats gross.
Namjoon covers his mouth with his hand and looks toward the bedroom door. “Shit.”
Hoseok looks at him curiously. “What?”
Namjoon shakes his head, at a loss. “Um. Nothing. It’s nothing.”
Namjoon stares at his phone.
Hoseok prods. “It doesn’t sound like nothing. You sure I can’t help?”
Namjoon sighs. “I don’t know. Let me think about this for a second.”
-x-
A second turns into a week.
The first time they see each other after the fight, Yoongi can tell Namjoon figured it out.
Yoongi can’t even look at him. Can barely stand in the same room as him.
It’s maddening.
Neither of them will say anything to each other about it. They just talk about the music in really forced ways.
Hoseok can’t stand the conflicted energy.
[TEXTS]
hoseok: can we meet up?
yoongi: ? sure? for what?
hoseok: team bonding
yoongi: lmao really
hoseok: yeah! youre always locked in a room somewhere working. i barely talk to you
yoongi: oh sorry. i mean. knowing that im always locked in a room is kind of getting to know me so
hoseok: ahhh i doubt that! i bet youre really cool!
yoongi: i am
hoseok: :) see! i knew it!
[END TEXTS]
Yoongi and Hoseok sit in the dorm eating cup ramen while Namjoon works at the studio.
Hoseok is being incredibly patient, letting Yoongi work up to saying something.
Yoongi almost hates him for it if it wasn’t totally working and making him feel comfortable. “You and Namjoon are getting along well.”
Hoseok nods, wide smile taking over his face. “Yeah, he’s great! So smart! You’re both so talented! I don’t know how I’m supposed to keep up. I have so much work to do.”
Yoongi shrugs. “We can’t do like a fucking tenth of what you can with dancing so you’re keeping up just fine.”
Hoseok smiles shyly at the indirect compliment. Then he asks quietly, “Do you like Namjoon?”
Yoongi shrugs, nods. “He’s cool. I thought he talked a lot when we first met but he’s just awkward. You said it too, he’s talented and smart. I can think of a lot of worse people to have in this group.”
Hoseok’s quiet as he talks, lets the silence hang for a moment when he’s done. “No, but you…you
like
him, don’t you?”
Yoongi drops his chopsticks into his ramen, hands shaking. “What the fuck are you saying?”
Hoseok swallows, looks down, embarrassed. “Nothing. Never mind.”
Yoongi continues to shake, anger surrounding him like a shield. “Why the fuck would you think that? We’re training to be fucking idols. Of course I’m not‒It’s gross. That’s fucking gross.”
Hoseok stares at his ramen, unsure. “Well…I mean, if you were it wouldn’t matter to me. Not that you are, but if you were it um, I’m okay with it.”
Yoongi blinks at him. “Sure. Whatever.” He takes a breath. “Who’s your favorite American artist? Mine’s Kanye.”
Hoseok smiles at the effort and joins in as best he can. Yoongi’s not a bad guy. He’s just scared. Hoseok can relate.
-x-
The ‘fight’ ends abruptly in a way neither of them could have remotely predicted.
Yoongi had told Namjoon he was gonna be at the studio all night and Hoseok was home visiting family. So when Yoongi decided to actually go back to the dorm and sleep for once, he probably should’ve texted Namjoon before just barging in and catching Namjoon with his pants down.
There’s a lot of clamouring and awkward turning and struggling to get past this moment as quickly as possible, but as the porn Namjoon was watching continues, Yoongi hears it. He didn’t notice at first, but he hears it.
It’s two men.
Namjoon’s laughing awkwardly as the sounds stop. “Ha. Um, Yoongi hyung. I didn’t think you were coming home tonight.”
Yoongi can’t bring himself to turn around. “I should’ve texted. I’m sorry. I’m just‒I was tired. I’m sorry.”
Namjoon laughs awkwardly again. “No, it’s okay. Seriously, it’s kind of funny, right? They’ll probably ask us about awkward stuff at the dorms in interviews. We can tell them the story.”
Yoongi doesn’t mean to but‒“You want to tell them you were watching gay porn?”
Namjoon goes quiet.
It’s weird. There’s not a lot that can shut Namjoon up like that.
Yoongi tries to think of a way to take that back, but‒
“Do you?”
Yoongi doesn’t turn, just starts rummaging through a drawer for his pjs. “Do I what?”
Namjoon speaks plainly, “Watch gay porn.”
Yoongi freezes.
Namjoon simply waits.
Yoongi grabs his pajamas and speaks without turning around. “Yeah.”
The room goes quiet again.
Yoongi considers his options.
He’s never been great with words.
He peels off his shirt and steps out of his pants. Then he stretches for a moment before putting on his pajamas.
He doesn’t know if Namjoon looked, but he hopes he did. This feels insane. He feels insane. He gets into his bed.
Namjoon doesn’t surprise Yoongi when he speaks plainly again, “You did that on purpose.”
Yoongi blushes as Namjoon confesses to looking. “Maybe.” Yoongi finally chances it. He looks over.
Namjoon’s shirtless, still a little flush. He has the blanket pulled over him. “You could at least, you know, let me finish in peace.”
Yoongi raises an eyebrow, looking right at him. “Am I distracting you from what you were doing?”
Yoongi looks him right in the eye, knows that they’re on the same page. He’s trying to stay calm but he’s fucking thrilled.
Namjoon narrows his eyes. “Not necessarily.”
Yoongi whistles. “Suggestive.”
Namjoon hums. “I meant it to be.”
Yoongi stares at the ceiling for a moment. He knows their flirting is kind of sexual, but he can’t help sobering the mood. “You know, I fucking hated you for a long time cause I‒I thought you were cute. And I thought you were going to ruin this for me. Being an idol. I thought you’d out me by accident somehow.”
Namjoon hums. “I was one hundred percent ready to commit to a painful repressed crush.”
Yoongi laughs at his honesty, surprised and flattered. “Crush?”
Namjoon hums. “You have this look in your eye when you work. Even when you were being a fucking jerk, you were captivating.”
Yoongi blushes. “Captivating.”
Namjoon blushes in turn. “Whatever. Yeah. You’re cool.”
“Huh.”
“What?”
Yoongi swallows. Namjoon put himself out there first so Yoongi can follow more easily. “I could say the same thing about you. Whenever you break down what you’re thinking about. How you want to get these big ideas into short lines of your raps. Almost creamed my pants right there.”
Namjoon snorts, surprised. “Wow. What the fuck? Who are you? Are you telling me that if I had just told you I’m bi you’d actually be open with me about your feelings?”
Yoongi blushes. “Whatever. I don’t trust straight people. I have to lie to them all the time. You get to pass cause you’re fucking bi. You can ogle girls and not feel gross. I hate girls. I mean, I don’t, but I hate pretending to like them. It’s fucking awful. A few are okay I guess, but like ugh.”
Namjoon laughs wildly. “You’re so cute. I didn’t know you could be cute.”
Yoongi sticks his tongue out at Namjoon.
Namjoon squeals. “Cute.” He pauses. “But seriously, can you fuck off for a minute or two?”
Yoongi’s brain screeches to a halt. “What?”
Namjoon points down at himself. “I’m glad we talked this out but I’m not ready to cross this line with you. I’d go to the bathroom but I’m kind of naked under this.”
Yoongi sighs. “Whatever. I’ll walk around the block I guess.”
He hops off the bed, shoots one last glance at Namjoon to see the flush on his cheeks from his lingering arousal, and closes the door to the bedroom behind him. He walks into the stairwell of the apartment building and sits there for a few minutes, desperately trying and failing not to think about what Namjoon was doing.
He runs the conversation through his mind again. He repeats it to himself. “Cute.” Maybe being an idol wouldn’t be so bad after all.
[TEXTS]
namjoon: uh...you can come back
yoongi: the stairwell is really peaceful
namjoon: oh. i mean. no rush.
yoongi: stairways are weird, right? it’s like an in between world. you could be almost anywhere when youre in a stairway they all look the same.
namjoon: are you okay?
yoongi: isnt that the kinda shit you think about all the time
namjoon: i mean...yeah. but you dont?
yoongi: mm i do. i just dont say it out loud. maybe i should start to. instead of insulting people and pretending its a joke.
namjoon: yeah maybe you could switch it up a bit.
yoongi: lol maybe. does the bedroom smell like sex
namjoon: wtf no. im a good roommate.
yoongi: hmmmm. i guess you are. god, im gonna have to live with you for like eight years arent i.
namjoon: if we make it that long
yoongi: idk im hopeful. also im in the group so wheres the risk
namjoon: your arrogance is unparalleled
yoongi: thank you
namjoon: can u come back to the room
yoongi: why?
namjoon: its not gonna be weird if you come back. just come back.
yoongi: psh dont act like you know me and how anxious i get about literally everything
namjoon: um just so you know, when i said having a bf was gross i just...i thought you were being a jerk again and i was scared youd think I was the gross one. so im sorry if you thought i called you gross. i didnt mean to.
namjoon: hyung?
[END TEXTS]
It’s quiet for a long time and then Yoongi hears what sounds like a knock on the stairwell door.
The door opens and Namjoon peeks his head in shyly. “Hey.”
Yoongi laughs and scoots over on the step. “Hi.”
Namjoon sits next to him. “We’re good, right?”
Yoongi shrugs, nods.
Namjoon narrows his eyes. “You talk more over text.”
Yoongi sighs. “My medium is the written word. What do you fucking expect?”
Namjoon glances around. “Will you come back to the room?”
Yoongi can hear some kind of urgency in his voice so he nods and stands up, follows Namjoon back into their dorm room.
Namjoon closes and locks the door. Deadbolts it too.
Yoongi’s nervous and he can tell Namjoon is too.
Namjoon just says it, “Can I kiss you?”
Yoongi blinks.
He doesn’t move.
He barely breathes.
He just stands there and tries to process the words that were just said to him.
Namjoon panics. “I mean, unless you don’t want to. No pressure.”
“I‒” Yoongi tries to get the words out. “I want to.”
Namjoon’s eyebrows shoot up. “Oh. You do. Um, good. That’s good.”
They stare at each other across the room, way too far apart to do anything about that.
Namjoon laughs awkwardly and Yoongi still can’t quite get his body to respond to his brain.
Namjoon takes a step forward. “Now, right? You meant now? Is now okay?”
Yoongi manages to nod. “Now’s okay.”
Namjoon lets his feet keep moving forward. He lowers his voice as he gets closer. “I swear, I really have kissed people and had sex. I’m just perpetually a virgin when it comes to first moves.”
Yoongi snorts. Lets that lighten the mood. “I’ve never kissed a guy. Wanted to, but haven’t.”
Namjoon nods, closer to Yoongi than he’s ever been before. “Me neither.” Namjoon raises a hand awkwardly, then drops it. “Hyung, you’re sure this is okay?”
Yoongi nods, grabs Namjoon’s hands and puts them around him, steps in closer. He lets his fingers thread through Namjoon’s hair before he brings their faces close. “I’m sure if you’re sure.” He breathes the words onto Namjoon’s lips.
Namjoon closes the gap.
Their lips met tentatively, then slowly move. They start to learn each other’s movements and the kiss deepens.
Namjoon’s hand falls flat onto the small of Yoongi’s back, pulls him closer.
Yoongi pushes away for a breath.
They stare at each other.
Yoongi presses his fingers into Namjoon’s skin. “You better be good at keeping secrets.”
Namjoon smiles awkwardly. “I’m honestly really bad at it, but I think I can hold onto this one for you.”
Yoongi smirks. “For me, huh?”
Namjoon nods. “Only if you keep waxing poetic about stairways when you text me.”
Yoongi groans and hides his face in the crook of Namjoon’s neck and shoulder. “I was trying to be cute. You said I’m cute.”
Namjoon laughs, hugs him tightly. “You don’t have to
try
to be cute when you are. I’m not cute. I’ll never be able to do aegyo.”
Yoongi makes a face. “I know. That was my first impression of you. You’re the sexy type. I thought they were trying to make me the pretty boy.”
Namjoon snorts. “You thought I was sexy?”
Yoongi tsks. “I didn’t say that.”
“Yes, you did.”
“You don’t have it in writing.”
“Not yet.”
“Whatever. I hope your debut look is awful.”
“Why would you say that?!”
-x-
When Yoongi first sees Namjoon’s perm, he can’t stop laughing.
Namjoon whines. “It’s not that bad! I like it! You’re being an asshole again!”
Yoongi whispers to him, “I’m not kissing you until that shit is shaved off.”
Namjoon’s jaw drops. “I don’t have a choice, Yoongs. This is my hair for promotions.”
Yoongi shrugs. “Hm, no kisses then.”
Hoseok watches them whisper to each other across the room. They have four new members now, but Hoseok is the only one that got to watch their relationship build.
He’s the only one who can see the love in their short words, and quick touches.
He’s the only one who knows Yoongi still thinks Namjoon looks absolutely gorgeous, even if he hates the way he cuts his hair.