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"WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MA SWAMP?" The big green ogre with perky ears and a leathery vest screamed at the young boy. "Subaru!" A man with long, black, sloppily cut hair obscuring his vision and rings of eyeliner around his chocolatey pools for eyes ran out from the shrubbery around the swamp. "Your name is Subaru! Today is your sixteenth birthday and I'm here to announce that you are the chosen one. By the way I'm Pete," he said, pulling out his long, red and black, four stringed instrument, as he began to play a song with such a ridiculous title nobody could remember it. "You, are to save Crssovertopia from the Super Evil Team!""WHAT!?" I can't do that!" Subaru cried."Oh yes you can!" Pete yelled, before riding off into the Jupiter on his pink tricycle. Suddenly... "HEY! LISTEN HERE FUCK HEAD!" A little blue fairy flew out in front of Subaru! "HAJIMEMASHITE BITCH! YOU GONNA BE A CAR!" She shouted, before flying off into the night. Subaru began to feel strange. Particularly in his hands and feet. He glanced down at his feet, only to see he was undergoing something strange; his hands and feet were undergoing a metamorphosis! They were slowly contorting themselves into tyres!It was unbelieveable! Just a moment ago Subaru your average teenage boy heading off to school, now he was on the ground balanced out on his four wheels. He was now a jet black car with and orange stripe along each side. He tried to scream, only to find he had no voice."Why are yer still on meh swamp," said Shrek looking utterly annoyed."TA DA! YOU ARE A CAR!" squieled Navi. She had flown back down to the scene after hearing Shrek's outburst "Welp, I best be on my way, I have some errands to run: I have to remind my friend how to open a door and then head on over the Tingle's house and help him with his map selling..." Her shrill voice ranted on as she flew away for the second time.Subaru felt defeated. He felt Shrek move towards him and shove him onto the road. "Get off meh turf yer runt, I don't give a shit about how special you are!"~~~~~~~~~~~~~Once on the road, Subaru drove his car wheels forward towards home. He was not prepared to turn up to school like this. Once he gpt home he was disturbed to see Juuzou Suzuya scouting through his front yard. He always had found something off about that kid. Maybe it was the fact that he was utterly insane or it could just be all the rumours that the other kids at school spread. Either way he did NOT want Juuzou on his lawn.'Oiii' he tried to call, only to find his voice had failed him once again.Subaru was mad, (ooooh boii was he mad). He felt his wheel shift and his gears move higher up. "HONK!" he screamed at Juuzou as he slowly morphed back into a person. Juuzou looked towards the origin of the sound, he glared at Subaru and flipped him off. Subaru felt his temper rise, like a volcano erupting in the pits of his stomach. "Shooo," he said with a very angry tone in his voice. Juuzou turned his body towards him and pulled his Quinque from... somewhere. "Whatcha gonna do about it..." He started.Suddenly... HIS FRIEND iNKLING gorl appeared! "Subaru-oomy!" She called, "ya goona walk to school with woomy?" Subaru looked between Juuzou and Inkling GORL, he slowly stepped towards the young the squid. "Hey Juuzou, woomy wanna walk with us? Or are you too busy terror-wooming the ants which live in Subaru's lawn?" "Yes, as long as I can ride on Subaru.""Subaru-oomy?""Whatever," Subaru stated. "As long as we aren't late for school, I don't care anymore." He bent down and gestured for Rei to climb onto his back. Juuzou hopped up gleefully. Finally they continued on their way to school.But suddenly, when they got to the school gate... Someone was waiting for them! She stood there, her large chesticles almost popping out of her red and black leather bra. You could see her fishnets from underneath her black mini-skirt, and if she turned around, you could see "MCR ROX" written on the butt."OMG SUBARU, U FUKING CHEATED ON ME, U R SUCJ A POSR!" She screamed."Ebony oomy it's okay, no need to get angry," said Inkling GORL."NO, WTF IZ RONG WIF U! U R SUCH A BICH!" Ebony screamed back, flipping her hair before running off to slit her goffic wrists again."Well, Subaru oomy, that’s strange," said Inkling GORL, pointing at Subaru's butt... THERE WAS AN EXHAUST PIPE STICKING OUT OF HIS PANTS! Suddenly, Pete ran out crying, eyeliner streaming his pale cheeks! "Pete, I can explain!" Yelled Patrick, "I'm really in love with you, not Roy!""Oh yeah? Prove it!" He yelled."See? Look!" Patrick said, pulling out an extra large, extra long pencil of eyeliner. Pete gasped. Lots of eyeliner, only for him? "I can put it on you Pete," said Patrick."Oh my goodness, Patrick, yes, please do!" He cried, running over to Patrick. Patrick and Pete then started making out passionately against the school gate and Pete climbed on top of Patrick. Suddenly... Mikey and Roy ran out!"Fuck this, I'm out," said Rei, before running off."I THINK JUUZOU HAS THE RIGHT IDEA," Subaru whispered to inkling GORL, before running off. When he made it to the bathroom he turned around to see Antarcticite standing there. "What the hell are you doing here?!" Subaru cried out; "this is the guy’s bathroom! I thought you were a girl?""What's a girl?" They replied."I mean, sometimes you do sound and look like a boy. But DAMN look at your hips much curvey." Subaru stated. "Wait does this mean all you gem gals are dudes?""Umm""That's what i thought!" "I will be leaving now," Antarctic said. "I only came in here to cool down, because it is very hot outside."At that they made their way past Subaru, briskly exiting the bathroom. Subaru was going to call out to them but decided against it. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~He was leaning on the wall in the last stall when the school bell went off with a shriek. "May as well go to class," he told himself and left the bathroom. As he walked outside he felt the cool autumn breeze fly past his body. He shivered. How could Antarcticacite find this hot? Well, they were that one kid who always asked the teacher to turn the AC on in winter; as if it weren't cold enough.Suddenly a boy in red ran up towards him. Just by looking at the ironic shades, Subaru could tell this was that popular kid: Dave Strider. "Hey dude," said Dave, who held an annoyed expression on his face. "Have you seem my smol boyfriend or owlfriend? They ran the fuck off together and now I can't motherfucking find them!""Wait, are you dating that small green elf guy and that snowl owl?" Subaru questioned in a confused tone."Yes, bro, now help me find them.""Sorry mate, no can do, I don't want to be late for class and lose my reputation. Then she will never love me." Subaru added."Which one..." Dave started to ask. But Subaru had already ran down the hallway and out of sight.~~~~~~~~~~~~~Subaru slowly openend the door to his roll classroom...But it was as empty! Except for one small figure in the back of the classroom. "FUCK OFF MY PRECIOUS! YOU LEAVE PRECIOUSSSSS ALONE! GO WATCH THE FILTHY WET ONES!" He shrieked."Okay," said Subaru.Subaru was interested now, he ran out of the build and towards the playground at the spped of light. The playground consisted of usual stuff you would find in playgrounds. Most of the time it was empty. As all the kids at the school wanted to show that they were too old for such childish things. But today, oh no, today was different. A giant crowd probably consisting of the entire school was surrounding it. Subaru stalked in closer. He pushed through the other bodies to get to the source of all the commotion. Oh jegus what a sight it was.Roy, Roy and Roy were full on doing it, right in the middle of the playground. Subaru wanted to avert his eyes but found he could not turn away from what was happening infront of him:Roy was bent over his mouther around the other Roy's thingy and then Roy was curled under that Roy doing the same to him and the first Roy was sucking that Roy. They all had their fingers in each other’s asses and were moaning out indecipherable words. It was a mess. Subaru wondered how Roy was even compatible to the other Roys as he was a turtlw like thing. The other two Roys were perfectly human as far as Subaru could tell. This school was very diverse so it was hard to tell sometimes. Subaru then wondered how many times the Roys had done this to be this good at it."You fucking cheated on me Roy!" Someone called out from the crowd. "Which one?" Someone else replied, hence the shouting battle started.Subaru searched the crowd around him and found an interesting sight of three people. Pearl was bent down looking through a camera perched ontop of a tripod. Karma appeared to be directing her and Undyne was holding out a giant micro phone which was attached to the camera. Subaru stalked over to them. "Whatcha doing?" He asked."We paid them some money to have a threesome on the playground, so we could film it for pornhub." Karma replied. "This crowd wasn't part of the plan though.""Did they really consent to that?""Yeah, surprisingly quickely actually," Undyne burst in. Pearl looked up."With my filming skills, and Undyne's strong arms, we are able to get a great video for our project!" She added excitedly."And myyy great directing skills," Karma butted in. Pearl shot him a look which clearly read: 'you aren't doing anything helpful'.All of a sudden the priciple walked up to them!
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"WHAA-T IS ALL THIS CROWD GATHERED HERE FOR? WAA-WHY IS THERE WAA-WATERED DOWN MAYONNAISE EVERYWHERE? ROY-WAA!? I THOUGHT YOU WERE BETTER THAN THAT! WAA!" The principal screamed, his moustache flying everywhere, as he hunched over them in his purple fury."Mr Waluigi! Come join us over here! You need to see MYYY great directing skills!" Karma called to Waluigi."Now-waa, we shall have a school waa-assembly! Camera and micro phone one, bring your equipment to me! Waa!" Principle Waluigi yelled."Yes Daddy," said Undyne, as she gave him the equipment. All of the school kiddos walked their grumbly asses up to the school hall.~~~~~~~~~~~~~Once everyone was in the school and sitting down, Waluigi walked up onto the podium. "Now-waa kiddlydoinks, stand up and sing the school song! Waa!"
All of the kiddos stood up and began to sing at the top of their lungs, "SHIT PISS FUCK CUNT COCKSUCKER MOTHERFUCKER TITS FART TURD AND TWAT!" (AN: if u don’t no dat song den get da heck outta here!) Then, everyone sat down. "Now-waa, we shall watch this beautiful video of some of our students! Waaa!" He yelled, as he put the video onto the screen.Sound joy and horror rang around the hall. As the video Mr Waluigi put on, was the video that the trio had filmed! Subaru sat there horrified.
Roy, Roy, and Roy all appeared on the screen. The students all held their breath in anticipation. "Roy, Roy waa-and Roy are all exemplary students, waa," hot daddy principal Waluigi said cunningly. "You should waa-all aim to be more like them. Waa. Have waa-any of you cummed into eachother's mouths ad buttholes lately??? Waa. No, you have not! WAA! You have let this school down, you motherfuckers! WAA! Sit back and enjoy the show! WAAAA!" The video started playing. The Roys were moaning with pleasure as they penetrated eachother's asses. "MMMMMMMMMM....."Said one of the Roys, licking another Roy's dick.They slowly began pulling out of each other, and began switching holes, from butt to mouth. Most of the students watched the video in horrified silence, except for Ebony, who
was sitting there without a shirt on.Subaru was soo intrigued by Ebony's bare chest that he felt himself harden. His urges were starting to overtake him; but he couldn't do that sinful act here, not with the principal watching.Yato, who was sitting in silence next to Subaru, drifted his gaze toward him. Subaru could tell Yato had guessed his desire from his twitching leg. Yato's gaze retracted swiftly, Subaru felt sweat run down his face, he knows, he knows! He thought in a panic. What if he tells dear papa principal Waluigi! He turned back toward Ebony, skin listening in the sunlight that shone through the window of the assembly hall. (AN: shoot skin can’t listen).Ebony turned to him. He hardened even more. "These tiddies are only for Draco," she said sniffily. "One day, he will come back, to me, oh yes, my sweet prince will come back!" and, as if someone had flicked a switch, Ebony suddenly stood up and screamed to the whole school:
"I fucked Draco Malfoy in the forbidden forest!" Le whole assembly stopped and looked towards enoby's shirtlessness. Waluigi face wnet red as tomato. "ENBOY GET TO MEH OFFICE NOIW!!!!!!!!!!"~~~~~~~~~~~~~The assembly, shocked, let out a gasp. Draco rose out of his seat, and stood tall. He puffed out his chest and turned to principal Waluigi. "And I would fuck her again!" he cried. One by one the whole assembly stood up to form a gigantic sea of students. Subaru stood up with them, not knowing what was going on, but he didn’t want to look out of place. He waited in anticipation. Soon one by one students from across the hall shouted "AND I WOULD FUCK HER TOO"Ebony was enraged. "ONLY DRACO YOU HOES""AND YOU," Draco screamed as he pointed to daddy, "how DARE you treat ebony this way" [inaudible screeching]"THIS IS UN-WAA-ACCEPTABLE BEHAVIOUR FROM THIS SCHOOL!! WAA!" Waluigi had had it, he got the school's security guards to grab Ebony and Draco and take them to the detention cell. After that he ordered everyone to go back to class. As people started editing the hall, Subaru ran through the group of students to find Yato, he was not gonna let that god report him, he did not want to go to the detention cells with ebony and Draco. Finally he spotted the loser over the heads of a group of girls, he pushed passed and ran up to Yato. Subaru punched him in the shoulder. Yato turned his head towards Subaru, his blue orbs making contact with Subaru's grey ones."What was that for?" Yato asked Subaru, as he flew off into the stratosphere. Then... Pete appeared! "Come on Subaru, we must go save hot daddy principal Waluigi, the ENZYMES (extremely naughty zebra yellow mail egg sports) are coming! We must get the SUBARU SQUAD TOGETHER!""Wut," sed Subru. Then, as soon as Subaru said that, Kaneki, that wrinkly white prune in a loincloth, Hatsune Miku, Peter and Midna appeared next to Subaru.~~~~~~~~~~~~~Hot daddy principal Waluigi had gone back to his office and was sitting there. "Damn, dem naughty Goff's, waa," he said, as he drank some Listerine sexyly. "Why can't they be waa-as good waa-as Roy? Waa.." Suddenly, Lord Volsemort appeared! "Now, Mr Waluigi, you must hand over your school to me!" He cackled evilly. "Fuck off, waa!" Waluigi replied."It is too late! My ENZYMES are already here, and they shall DESTROY you with their active sites! Unless you, a) give me your school, or b) give me that weird one with dem red hair clippos.""No," Waluigi said, as he stuck up his middle finger at the dark lord. "Why do waa even want ma school anyway? Waa?""Because you are really fuckinh hot, daddy. Can I cum in your sexy wrinkly butthole?"Then, JUUZOU SUZUYA APPEARED!"What did you say about me, hot daddy principal Waluigi?""Nothing," Waluigi replied, but it was getting hard to hide the bulge in his overalls. Unfortunately, Juuzou and the dark lord had already seen far too much.~~~~~~~~~~~~~Waluigi advanced on Voldemort and removed his clothing items. He then proceeded to rip off his own. With a swift hand, he grasped Juuzou's shirt and pulled him in. "Take off your clothes, waa runt!" He flirted.Juuzou, deciding it was a bad idea to disobey the principle, obediently complied. When he had stripped himself bare he faced the principle. Waluigi's jaw dropped."Waa's your dick?!" He exclaimed.He recived an answer surprisingly quickely; "Mum wanted me to be a girl, so she mashed it off, it hurt a lot when it happened, at least I think so, I honestly don't remem-""That'll be enough-waa!" Waluigi butted in, "This'll do so let’s get started. Waa." At that Wluigi started rubbing himself against Voldemort, and Voldemort pulled Juuzou up to him a started sucking on his non-existant member. Suddenly a student entered the office, they were carrying a volleyball in their hands. "Sir, Peetar (AN: "Peetar" is the name two of us authors gave a volleyball during hpe; this is NOT Peeta from the Hunger Games) and I were-" Zircon started, but ended up cutting off mid-sentence when they saw the horrific scene playing out in front of them. Peetar was dropped onto the floor as the gem tried to run out of the building, but was stopped when Waluigi grabbed them and pulled them in."Waaa yess," he said,” waa gem and waa ball to play with as well, boy will this be fun. Waa."Waluigi pushed Zircon to the ground, while Voldemort was still holding Juuzou down and sucking him behind them. "Let’s see whaa-t your gem genitals look like." The priciple spoke as he pulled off the orange bone's clothes. He then proceeded to make a sound of astonishment when he discovered that there were no genitals there. "Looks like we'll have to make some, waa," he said while pleasuring himself. The man, who usually wore purple reached over and grabbed Peetar from where he had been dropped on the ground hand smashed it against the lower part of Zircon until their crotch started cracking. "Ooh daddy principle Waluigi please stop." Zircon moaned as the principle started pulling away pieces of gem to form a hastly cut vagina.The older man then proceeded to thrist himself into the orange one's new genital.Waluigi continued thirsting into the orange one's new fake genitalia. He thrust harder and harder into him, as white sticky fluid leaked from his long member. Waluigi was moaning loudly, and began to moan even louder, when Voldemort had crawled over while still sucking Juuzou, as he pushed his fist into Waluigis's steaming hot ass crack. He began pumping harder and faster, until Waluigi came, creating a big mess on Zircon, who had passed out. Then, they heard a knock on the door.Juuzou pulled his non-existent dick out of Voldemort's pale mouth. He slowly opened the door, and poked his head out, not revealing that he was actually a nudie rudie. "Hi, uh, I was wondering if uh, Principal Waluigi is here." Said the deputy principal, Kerosene, as his big yellow face was pushed against Judo’s young and innocent one. "Oh, yeah," said Judo."Excellent," said Kerosene has he pushed Judo out of his way. Oh boil, what a delightful shock Korosensei got. "Cum join us Korosensei," said Voldesexymort. "Sure," he said, throwing off his robe thingy. He pulled out his thingy and shoved it into Zircon's mouth. He then proceeded to piss in their mouth, all of the place. Suddenly, another thingy sprouted out of Korosensei! It began pissing everywhere as well! Then, even more began branching off of that one! Waluigi lapped up his sweet yellow juices that were flying. Then, the office began flooding with Korosensei's warm piss!Subaru was making his way down town into the principal’s office. He could see some strange liquid coming out from underneath the door. He could also heer the sounds of gargled pleasure coming frum insoid. He slowly turned the door knob and OPENED THE DOOR! suddenly... A HUGE FLOW OF YELLOW LIQUID FLOWED OUT FROM THE ROOM, REvealing a sexual hot mess consisting of daddy principle Waluigi, Voldemprt, Juuzou, Zircon, Petaar and korosensei! Subaru could feel his body warm up. Zircon woke up.
"RUN WHILE YOU STILL CAN SUBARU!" they screamed.Subaru listened to them and began to run the other way, but Korosensei caught him with his tentacles. He struggled against them, but it was no use.He was being pulled into this hot stinking mess.He felt Hot Daddy Principal Waluigi's hot dicc pierce his ass. "You're mine." Hissed Juuzou sticking their own dicc into Subaru's mouth. It was blissful. Subaru didn't even want to stop. All previous thoughts were wiped from his brain as the experience intensified. The bell rang. "Fuck!" screeched Hot Daddy Sugar Mr Principal Waluigi. "eVERY BODY BACC TO CLASS! WAAA!"
But Subaru didn't want this to stop. He felt dead inside, why did this have to end so suddenly? These feeling inside of him that this had aroused must never leave him! But Hod Daddy pulled Juuzou from him. Through a mouthful of semen, he managed to scream "WHY!??? WHY MUST YOU DO THIS? I'LL DO ANYTHING!""Anything?" Hod Daddy said slyly."Anything" repeated Subaru.~~~~~~~~~~~~~Subaru watched as hod daddy thought. Then his face lit up.
"Bring me Bum-waa and Sangwoo-waa." he smiled cunningly. Subaru nodded then rushed down the hall and into the school courtyard. Those always sneak off sometimes and do freaky things. Like rlly freaky things. But before he could step out into the courtyard... THE SUBARU SQUAD APPEARED!"Where does PRECIOUS think he going?" the seven toothed creature grumbled."I’m gunna find bum and Sangwoo," he said. "Now move out of da way."He stomped past them and into the courtyard. But the squad followed him anyway.~~~~~~~~~~~~~Subaru found Yoon Bum and Oh Sangwoo behind the library doing... he wasn't really sure what they were doing (AN: I couldn't tgink of anything XD). "Eyy you two the principle
wants you in his office," stated Subaru while walking up to them. Sangwoo turned to face him quickley. "Alright, I guess we'll go," he said as started walking away and pulled Bum after him. "Hey Subaru!" Hatsune Miku called when his squad caught up to him. He turned to them. "Are you coming to principle Waluigi's office with me?" He asked."Yes we will," replied Midna almost immediatly. Subaru and the gang, followed Sangwoo and Bum back towards the waiting priciple in a swift manner. Once they arrived at the mess of an office, Subaru could see that the other students had fled (with Peetar). Waluigi was sitting in his swively-wively chair with a stern expression painted onto his face. "CLose that goddamn door and perform a strip show for mee!!" He comands ecoed the room as the students did what they were told to in a very sexual manner."Nice nice," the moustached man said pervertedly. "Now all of you go over there, except fpr Natsuki Subaru; you, come here."~~~~~~~~~~~~~A/N: I hope Mr G a ffney isn't ab tutoring me rn lol jk i have aeroplane mode on also cousin dont tell on me plz or i shall be upset if you do no one likes dibby dobbers.also, why tf am i in advanced English~~~~~~~~~~~~~Hot Daddy Principal Mr Waluigi pulled in Subaru closer to him. "I want you to show me one of your secrets. If it is a bad secret then u go, but if it is a good one, then well, uh, we'll see what happens shall we," he whispered deductively. "Okay then Hod Daddy," Subaru breathed airily. He thougt about his interesting morning, his encounter with the blue flying fuck; Navi. He imagined Shrek padding over to him on his balanced out wheels, and his bif green hands shoving him out onto the cold hard bitumen. He slowly began to feel himself undergo the metamorphosis again! Waluigi gasped in sum air. Subaru was now balanced out on his four wheels, holding his low riding body up from the piss soaked carpet. "My my my1" Said Waluigi, as he rubbe dhis hand on Subaru's bonnet. He gently lifted the bonnet sexyly, and started mastibaiting one of the pipes in his engine. A cloud of exhaust came out of Subaru's exhaust pipe, and Waluigi inhaled all of the sweet smelling gas. He then proceeded to stick his long, red tipped member into Subaru's exhaust pipe! Subaru's engine spluttered and started making weird noises!Oil began leaking out onto the carpet. Staining it a dark chocolatey brown. "My carpet! Waa!" Waluigi wailed as he spanked Subaru's bonnet. Subaru vroomed in fear. His doors opened and his squad hopped in. They drove out of the office and away from the school. (AN: I just wanted to get this horrid chapter over and done with).
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"What should we get for lunch?" Pete asked, once they were on the road. Everyone had gotten back into their clothes to avoid anything awkward. Soon enough, the fast food place to go to had fired up. The winning position went to McDonald's, mainly because Subaru had already parked himself in the lot. The squad hopped out before Subaru transformed back into a human. "Let's go in," He said.They entered McDonald's and were greeted friendly by Ryuk, who was dressed in McDonald's worker attire behind the greasy counter, he was crunching on some apple slices. The crew approached him briskly, and looked up at the menu board. Ryuk looked at them and stated, "whatcha orderin'?"One by one they stared listing of what they were going to get: Midna ordered a McFlurry, a milkshake, and a soft-serve icecream. Subaru and Pete both ordered Happy Meals. The small creature in a loincloth ordered a Fillet'o'fish, "with the raw fishes, precious," he had said. Doge had ordered much large, such fries. Peter ordered the same as Doge. Kaneki insisted he couldn't eat anything, but Hatsune Miku forced him int getting a Big Mac. Hatsune Miku then ordered a smoothie for herself, while pulling some leaks out of... somewhere. "I'll pay," Peter said as he pulled out Tony Stark's credit card.after they ordered, they went to find a table to eat at while their meals were being prepared. Doge, Hatsune Miku, Pete and Peter went into le playground while Subaru was left to talk with Midna, Kaneki and the tater hater. suddenly... PETE RAN OUT TOWARDS SUBARU!!!"Peter and Hatsune Miku pushed me!!!" he wailed, eyeliner streaming down his face. Peter and Hatsune Miku rushed out after him, leaving Doge to try and run UP the such slide. Subaru couldn't believe how childish this guy was."what do you want me to do about it?" Subaru asked, a sigh escaping from his mouth.Subaru turned to Midna and Kaneki for help, but they had slid over to the other side of the room, chattering to themselves. Subaru turned back, but was thankful to see Ryuk carrying their orders. Subaru called everyone back to the table, they all rushed over eagerly (except Kaneki). Pete ripped open his Happy Meal with a giant smile on his face he pulled out the barbie doll which was inside and dunked it in his sprite. "SUBARU THERE IS HAIR IN MY SOFT DRINK!!" Pete cried, more eyeliner streaming his palid face. Subaru rolled his eyes and ignored him."If preciousss hadn't put doll in drink then precious wouldn't have hair in drink," the small creatures with large aquamarine orbs snarled. At that exact moment the creature's pools widened in anger, "THIS FISH ISN'T RAW PRECIOUSS, THEY SPOILD NICE FISH!!!" He then proceeded to throw a tantrum. Pete then dumped his coke on the thing's head and both stared yelling at each other. Meanwhile, Doge, Midna, Peter and Subaru were enjoying their meals in silence, ignoring the outburst beside them. Hatsune Miku was urging Kaneki to eat his Big Mac. "I'll just be sick, there is no point," Kaneki tried to tell her (AN: my goddamn phone is lagging, so of there is spelling errors, that's why) but Miku ignored him."If you don't start eating it now i will force feed it to you," Miku threatened. Kaneki, not wanting to be rude, gently picked up the giant burger and moved it slowly towards his open mouth. He bit down on a big chunk and it was evident that he was not enjoying it one bit. He endured the gagging and swalliwed. He repeated this process while holding down the already swallowed food. When finished he laid his head on the table and clentched his stomach, regretting his desisions. "You'll be fine," Midna reassured him. Subaru edged away right before Kaneki emptied his stomach's contents onto the ground beside them. "Welp, I've been put off my food," Subaru saud as he watched Kanrki vomit. At that exact same moment the tater hater hit Pete and ran towards the greasy restaurant's kitchen!~~~~~~~~~~~~~"Now here, we have one happy little fry, and let's say this little guy lives here," said the head chef, Bob Ross. "Now, let's give him a happy little friend, shall we? because no fry deserves to be lonely, should they?" he smiled happily, putting more and more fries into the fryer. "Now, don't worry, these little fries are probably just having a little party in the fryer," Bob said happily to the tater hater. "Now, I'll demonstrate how to make a sad little fish a happy little fish, by putting it through the fryer with the fries! Now they can all have a happy little-Arrrrgh!!!"The shrivelled, grey creature had latched itself on to Bob's arm. "So you was the one who cooked Gollum's fishes?" the tater hater asked, his aqua-marine orbs sparkling with hatred."My little friend, excuse me, but it's my job!" smiled Bob Ross, "Now, could you please let go of my arm, you happy little creature?" "No! Gollum wanted raw fishes!" hissed the tater hater. "And gollum hates fries! gollum hates potatoses!" "Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you, little creature, but I have to do it, cooked fish make happy, happy customers! Or else I'll get fired!" "Gollum doesn't care. Gollum wantses the raw fisheses!" Gollum bit down hard on Bob's arm, stripping the flesh off the bone. From outside the kitchen, shrieks could be heard coming out through the door. "I was only doing my job, friend!"And then there was silence."What the fuck happened?" asked Subaru. "All that I know is that Gollum went, and then didn't come back!"Kaneki looked up, a momentary break from throwing up. "There he is!" Kaneki wheezed. "What's he got?" asked Kaneki. Gollum was dragging a bloody and bashed body behiind him. "Gollum has fresh meatsies for squad." He announced happily, dragging Bob along the greasy floor. Kaneki's eyes lit up. "Can I have his arm?"(AN: poor bob ross)the wrinkly prune nodded and Kaneki skipped over to the body, happily munching on his new lunch. Subaru couldn't handle it much longer. he had to step outside. he could feel his lunch rising in his throat. once he was outside, he continued to watch his Squad through the window. Pete was still crying, more eyeliner streaming down his cheeks. Doge had now trotted over to the dead body, licking up the trail of blood. Midna and Miku continued with their meal while Peter was yelling at Kaneki and the tater hater. "what have i gotten myself into?" Subaru sighed.suddenly...THE ENZYMES APPEARED!!!!~~~~~~~~~~~~~Kaneki eagerly ate Bob's arm; it was such a pleasant taste compared to the Big Mac. Bob tasted like oil paints, flesh and creativity. Delicious. Gollum was eating Bob's other arm. It was delectable. "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!?" Ryuk yelled, looking down at the wet mess all over the floor. "OUT! ALL OF YOU! ESPECIALLY YOU TWO!" Ryuk yelled, glaring at Kaneki and the scantily clad, sunlight hating beast with minimal eyebrows, whom were feasting upon Bob Ross's flesh. I'll write moreRyuk stole back Bob's dead body from the two psychopaths, as Ryuk kicked them out one by one. "Why the hell are you much reading this?" Doge questioned the reader. "I WANNA GO TO TACO BELL," Pete whined at Subaru."FINE," Subaru said, glaring at the three year old trapped in a sixteen year old's body.(AN: fast food greasy taco i looooove)~~~~~~~~~~~~~They walked into the taco bell, which was text door for some reason. AND WERE GREETED WITH TB SAGA BEING PLAYED ON A LOUD SPEAKER.All the bois (and gorls) arrived at Taco Bell, because fast food greasy taco I love. A long bean with an overtly glum look on his face greeted the group."Hi, welcome to Taco Bell. My name is Tyler how may I help you." The long bean spoke with the least amount of enthusiasm possible."I WANNA CHEESE GORDITAA CRUNCH BABYYYYY," The tiny fuck Pete yelled in response, his voice slightly muffled because of the mass of big ladeez surrounding him."That all?""Oh, and uuuuh, a Mountain Dew Baja BlAAAast." Pete, once again, yelling the requests."Is that all?" "Yeah, who's paying?" Pete... again.Subaru walks out in front, a card in hand, no words needed. He was paying."You just gonna let him do that?" Confusion spread across Tyler's face. It was robotic almost, but at least he was displaying emotion. A similar emotion masked Subaru's face. "Are you just let him take your probably very small amount of money from you? Do you not care?""Heyyyy, for your information, this happens all the time. Subaru's okay with it." Pete had thought he made a really smart argument, he was very wrong."This happens all the time? Do you just take his money? Not a care for his wallet? Do you even have a job?" Pete slowly nods in response. "Why don't you spend your own money? How about you stop being a little bitch and grow up, spend your own damn money dude, you're a grown ass man have some pride."Tyler turned away, whispering insults to the tiny man he had just cussed out. Said tiny man, just turned away in shame, waiting for his cheese gordita crunch, and mountain dew baja blast. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~After the time it would have taken for the workers to make Pete's order and also let Tyler spit in it a couple times, a cute boyo with a cute giggle and a cute tuft of yellow hair coming out of his cute backwards cap yelled in a cute voice:"Order for the man baby!" which cued for Pete to walk up to the counter and retrieve his lunch, his head bowed the entire time. As he picked up the food, the cute boy rubbed his hair like a older brother after you had done something foolish.However, while Pete sat there and happily ate his lunch, Kaneki was very angry about how the delicious, oil paint flavoured piece of meat was taken away from him. The cute boio with yellow hair smelled delectable, so Kaneki thought MMMMMMMM NOMS NOM CNTPD TIME BICH! "I need to go to the bathroom," Kaneki said to da squad, as he slunk off into the kitchen of the Taco Bell. The words, "MY CHALUPA" were blaring over the speaker. Josh was standing there, grilling some cheese and deep frying some beef. Caneki transformed into his big centipede thingy. Tyler was out, giving Subaru a lecture for not being in school. Doge was trying to escape the Taco Bell, but he couldn't as he was stuck between a full stop and the word, "was". Back in the kitchen, Kaneki was trying to devour Josh's flesh. Josh grapped the centipede's head and shoved it into the giant deep fryer. Then, Tyler ran back in, as he screamed out at the top of hIS LUNGS, "S'CUSE ME, COULD YOU PLEASE LEAVE?"THe centipede pulled it's head out of the deep fryer. "No fucking way!" he screeched "I want nom noms binch!"かねきくん わ ノムノムツ を 食べました。“くそ！” (AN: shit, i just realised i wrote わ instead of は)テイーラくんを はなしました。 ”いいえ！だめ！かわいくない！”“ノムノムツ！” かねきくんを はなしました。だから、ノムノムツを 食べました！テイーラくんを しにました！ ”おいしかった！”“いいいいええええええええええええええええええええええええ！” ジョシュくんを はなしました！“いいえ、ばか！ おいしくて 大好き ですね！”“うるさいね！”Ensuite, Tyler a ramassé le mille-pattes par la peau de son cou et l'a jeté hors de la porte. Doge est allé chercher le centipède et Kaneki est revenu à la normale. "JE VEUX NUM NOMS!" Kaneki a crié."VOUS AVEZ DÉJÀ MANGÉ PRÉCIEUX!" Celui qui avait une grande lampe comme des orbes hurlait à Kaneki. Josh acheta alors un taco pour Kaneki."C'est de nos amis qui travaillent au Taco Bell en vedette dans Dipper Goes to Taco Bell!" Josh dit "What'ya mean?" pallidi ad unum interrogati praedicamus.'Saporis est factus ex illa caro puri urbanae,' ait operantis emerserit."Inaestimabile sacramentum Boiorum" Kaneki exclamaverunt autem taco ante manducans. Soo erat pubentes et dulcis. Et de nova saporem escam shread humana circum os suum. (AN: sorry, this makes zero sense XD)Затем Пит встал и запел: «О, куры - самородки, ты обнимаешь меня. Когда я плох, я ем тебя и чувствую себя хорошо», хотя они были в колоколе, который даже не продавал куриные самородки. «Я ХОЧУ СМОТРЕТЬ НУГГЕТЫ!» Пит закричал.«Нет!» - крикнул Субару, снова повернувшись в машину, заставляя всех войти, когда он убежал.(AN: just so ya know, Japanese is the only not google translated one.)
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A/N: alrighties welcome to the shit show ma doods chapta for hear we go muthafuccers Subaru sped off down the highway. Everyone was in the car, and Subaru was speeding through the city. "I didn't get my chicken nuggets!" Pete wailed. The creature with a few wispie lil hairs was still pissed that he couldn't eat Bob Ross. Kanekie was still eating his taco. Midna, Hatsune Miku, Peter and Doge were sitting there, trying to ignore Pete and the six tooth tater hater's persistent bickering and complaining, even though they were the ones who wasted perfectly good food. "HONK!" Subaru screamed at them. Everyone fell silent. Subaru continued driving, until they got toThen, they arrived at the theatre. Everyone got out, and Subaru turned into a human again bc they don't allow cars in the theatre. Then, when they were about to go inside, two doods ran up to them! "Wait! You with the shifty haircut! Don't go in there!" One of them yelled. "There are some weird things going on here and we don't think it's safe for you to go in there," he said, while the other one was humming Metallica. "I like the other one better he's a metal head," Pete said sassily through his eyeliner. "Stop humming Dean!" Sam said, smacking him in the head. "Anyways there are some weird things here, you probably shouldn't go inside."Pete completely unfazed by the potential danger hair flipped and walked sexily inside swaying his round ass as he walked. Nine eyes followed Pete's ass."Well would you look at that ladies and gentlemen Pete is seducing you all over again." Doge yelled. Kanekie looked at him puzzled."The fuck are you talking to?"Doge shrugged and went back to being silent. Kanekie was dumbfounded but was distracted when he saw some rotting taco-bell in the theater bins."TACO BELL!" He said running to the love of his life. Subaru honked angrily as Pete's delicious ass disappeared from his headlights."Guys guys guys guys, let's go in come one lets go I wanna get Pete's ass- popcorn I wanna get popcorn!" Subaru squeaked."LETSA GOU!" Hatsune Miku sang vocaloid style. The gang ran after Pete, except for Kanekie he... he... already had the love of his life, trash taco-bell.As the eight of them ran into the front of the theater they saw the most horrific and sexual sight they'd ever seen, Pete was getting fucked in all of his holes by...The second link doesn't workAbsolutely no one and absolutely nothing he wasn't even naked he was just standing there because the main coordinator of this fic was like "NO MORE GAH DEH SMUT SCENES IN THIS GODDAMN FANFIC AT LEAST FOR A FEW MORE CHAPTERS BECAUSE THERE IS ONLY ONE CHAPTA THAT IS KINDA PG."Suddenly....the dorr opened!Everyone looked toward the source of the commotion. "Ladies and getlemen," said Doge, "A sexy plot twist arrives!"It was TSUKIYAMA SHUU!He flicked his long purple hair to one side. "Gollum!" he commanded. "Get the fuck on to the stage!""Of courses, my precioussssssss!" hissed the tater hater. "WHat the actual fuck?" asked Subaru. "Gllum? are you dating this weird purple man???" "Actually, I'm the fucken flower man! get it right!" said the weird purple pervert.The tater hater slithered up to the stage on which the flower man was standing upon. AND THENthey both started dancng! but it was not jut any dancing, no! it was ORANGE JUSTICE!!!!!"Wait, what's going on???" asked Kaenkie, still clutching his taco. The flower man's eyes seemed to light up. "C-could it be?" he asked. "My sweet, sweet Kaneki-kun! How I have missed you!" "Precioussssss?" whimpered gloum, his aqua orbs widening in shock. "Surely preciousssss is not interested in the Ken?" "Nothing's better than a love triangle!" Tsukiyama said happily as everyone stared at him. "My preciouses a slut!" shrieked the tater hater. "I'm also dating Bnajou, if that answers your question," smiled Shuu. "Tres Bien." During the unexpected dancing show, Ram walked into the room. "Oh right, no one gives a shit about me," she said, then she turned and left.Tsukiyama grabbed the prune and Kaneki, and started swining them around on the stage to the beat of the music, like a helicopter taking flight. But suddenly, Lucy jumped up onto the front of the stage. "NYUUUUUUUU!!" She screamed happily, her pink hair falling down over her exposed figure's bare chest. Near popped up from his spot in the crowd like a dolphin. "Put a fuckin' shirt on!!" He shouted. But the was a BIIIIIGG mistake. Lucy snapped and pulled out his guts with her invisible hands, his blood fountain-ed all over the floor. The ghouls hurried over to lick it up like dogs. (AN:i just wanted to kill Near). "Serves you right motherfucker," the horned girl said as she glared down at the corpse. "Nyu!""Don't worry everyone, as I AM HERE!" All might burst into the room, picked up Lucy bridal style and jumped out of the wind. Subaru stood there, unsure if the events which had just happened were real or not.does this even have a plot anymoreSubaru turned around to face away from the blood fountain. at the back of the theatre, Sans and Levi were having a fight about who had more fangirls, you could see the crowds of 7 - 10 year olds behind Sans and older ones behind Levi (AN: seriously though, why do these two have soooo many fangirls) , all were screaming about why the opposing 'husbando' was bad. "What kind of frickin' place has this word become," Natsuki sighed and shut his eyes. When he opened them a war had broken out between all the aggressive fangirls. At that Subaru decieded it was best to walk away, and so he did.Then over towards were the fangorls were fighting, Dean walked over and sed "BITCHES I HAVE 5000 PAGES OF FICS ON AO3 GET OUT OF MY WAY!" and all the fangorls dropped dead. "Sammy, come on, we have some shit to do," Dean called out to his younger brother."SHIT DEAN GET THE FUCK OVER HERE!" Sam called out to Dean. Dean ran out to where his brother was calling from. Sam was backstage and he had been tied up by Hatsune Miku! Her sclera was full black. "Ah, she's possessed," said Dean, as he pulled some holy water out of his ass. he then said an exorcism thing to get rid of the demon. It flew out, and into the air, however it took a very familiar shape. "BOB ROSS?" Sam yelled. However, it was not the kind, friendly Bob Ross everyone knew and loved. His eyes were titanium white, with a singular streak of alizarin crimson through the middle. Then, Dean said the rest of the spell thing and Evil Bob Ross went back to Hell where he could see his husband Sebastian again, even though Sebastian was meeting Ciel at gay strip clubs in Hell. "What happened?" Hatsune Miku asked in her vocaloid voice. "You got possessed by Evil Bob Ross and tied me up and tried to kill me," Sam said casually."And I did an exorcism," Dean added.Then, they went back into the theatre room with the stage. "Okie dokie we are done here," said the older of the Winchester brothers. Then they nyoomed of in the Impala. "Okay then," said Subaru. Then, the ENZYMES appeared! "HA HA HA! WE HAVE GOT YOUR BELOVED FRIEND!" One of the ENZYMES yelled. He pulled something out from behind his back. It was hot daddy principal Waluigi!"Well guess what?" Subaru called back in a snarky tone. "We don't give a shit."As he said that, he turned around and started to swim away. But! dun dun duuuuuuuuuuh! He was on land! The ENZYMES grabed him and forcefully shoved into a brown paper bag. They then proceeded to takle down the rest of the squad who were just standing there staring off into the distance as if they were npcs of some video game. Once the whole squad were all sqished into plastic bags, the ENZYMES ran off back to their hide out in Morrrdoorrrrr.They had looked them into teeny tiny prison cells in Cirith Ungol. They were being kept alive on a diet of orc shit. And ENZYME urine. (Disgustang). "Subaru!" Doge called. "What did I do to deserve being put in this fanfic?""I don't know!" Subaru yelled back. Then, the ENZYMES came back! They picked up Pete by his armpit. The they dragged him off to a secluded, dark room."Now, tell us your plan, or we shall hurt your boyfriends!" The ENZYMES shouted. Patrick was in his ridiculous yellow suit and Mikey was also there in his sexy beanie and glasses. Pete had to save them. "Fine," Pete said. "I will tell you the plan."(Ooooooohhhhh what is the plan oh so spoopy)The others gave Pete a questioning look, as if to say: 'wtf are you thinking of?' Pete glared at the ENZYMES "There is no fucking plan!!" He shouted. Then suddenly Subaru turned into the car and ran the ENZYMES, who were around them, over. Thennnn, Grell ran in to look at all the movie tape thingys protruding out of the ENZYMES' bodies. And proceeded to slice 'em all up with his/her (AN: what de hell is Grell's gender??) death scythe, his/her red hair falling over his/her red glasses as he/she turned to look at Subaru and the squqd."MOVE IT U FUCKING IDIOTS!" He/She yelled. Then, they all got into Subaru's car form as he sped off down next to the Hogwarts Express. (I didn't know what to write so I just end it here)
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When they arrived at the magic school they ended up pushing HaRrY pOtTeR into the womping willow. After that the squad hopped out of Subaru and Subaru turned back into a human and they went inside the castle. The first classroom they walked into turned into the doki doki literature club classroom through magicc. The cast of that game were all sitting there dead or something, except for Monika who turned the whole screeb into just Monika. To avoid and more chaos errupting, Subaru closed the tab.Miku then ran ahead and burst through the great hall's door to the sound of 'all-star ' by smashmouth. (AN: idc if i spelt that wrong.) Inside the great hall, Dumbledore was giving a speech about gay rights. But when he saw the intruders he kicked them from this christian minecraft server. "You unholy beings!" He shouted.So the squad ran back outsife the school grounds. Here they found Chrom fighting off some ENZYMES. "Help me random people who just walked out if the school!" He said. "Weellll eexxcccuuuuseee mmeee princess, but we're the main cast," replied Subaru in a fed up sassy voice. "Imma prince," sedd Chrom. To which Subaru replied with "fucc u."The squad ended up giving in and helpin kill the ENZYMES anyway. After the battle, which i couldnt be bothered describing happened, Chrom walked up to Miku and said: "heyyy guurrl, s support me and have my babies for valentines.""We only just met..." Miku started but was cut off by Chrom covering her mouth. "Shhhh off to the bedroom we go my queen," he saiid as he walked to the random tent that was sitting nearby. "Wtf just happened," said Midna. after about 10 min, the DOCTOR appeared. aND hopped outa HIS TARDIS, diagnosed Miku with pregnancy. "Why did it have to be meeeeeeee?" Miku wailed."Because you're beautiful m'darling," said google CHROM."Oh yea, and youll forget about this whole pregnancy thing for the rest of the godforsaken story." The doctor exclaimed then leaped back into HER TARDIS, and dissapeared in to the abyss, where Riko, Reg, and Nanachi climbed out of for some reason.No one else is writing anything so I'll continue cause im bored. After the ordeal, Subaru turned back into a car to drive he and de gang back to his place for sleepever shenanigans. Sooo they drove back to Subaru's house, where he gave them all some random cloves of garlic to wear as pjs. Then they walked into the living room and put "Troll 2" on to watch. It was gollums fav so dey be nice firends. At 3:00am, Kaneki woke with a bang due to a yim yum vivid scare of a 1987 kids film.Show quoted text