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It's been nearing the two day mark since Evan had last texted Connor.Connor had done something stupid. Really stupid. Ever since they'd started dating, Connor promised Evan he would try to stop smoking. He was doing well, not having smoked in 3 months─ but before he'd even thought about it, his fingers had reached for the box of cigarettes hidden deep in his pocket and... well, you know the rest.Now Evan wouldn't talk to him.In hindsight, Evan wasn't even supposed to be over for a few more hours. The week leading up to it had been bad, and Connor wasn't sure what to do. He knew he should've talked to Evan, but what if Evan judged him? Stopped talking to him? Made fun of him? Although a part of Connor, the rational part, knew Evan wouldn't ever do that, his anxiety had convinced him otherwise.Which is why when Evan walked into Connors room on Friday, he caught him smoking weed when he promised he wouldn't. Evan warned him beforehand that it would lead to the silent treatment, and that's exactly where they were now.Connor flopped onto his bed, groaning in frustration. Evan wasn't responding to any of his texts or his calls. It's been a few days since the brunet had slept properly, not being able to get the fact that his boyfriend was mad at him out of his head. Connor grabbed his phone that was laying next to him and opened his texts.to: Evan <3
evan, i'm sorry. please text me back.
He stared at the phone for a moment, wondering if Evan was even receiving his messages. A moment later, Evan read his text. Connor sat, waiting for the response that never came. He let out a sigh, wiping away the frustrated tear that formed in the corner of his eye. Why did Evan even care if he smoked? Connor never pressured him to do it, and Evan wasn't even there when he did it. Now Connor was starting to get annoyed.to: Evan <3
why do you even care that i smoke? it's none of your business anyways.
Connor saw Evan had read his text, but once again he didn't respond.to: Evan <3
you don't even know why i do it. you're just finding an excuse to not be around me, huh? you're mad at me for literally doing something for myself. not everything is about you.
The brunet regretted the text as soon as he'd sent it. This time, Evan didn't even open his text.Great, now he was going to break up with him because he couldn't control his emotions.to: Evan <3
wait ev, i'm sorry i didn't mean that. please text me. i'm sorry
As soon as Connor hit send, his phone started to ring. He sat up and immediately picked it up."Evan?""D-Do you really t-think I don't want to b-be around you?" Evan's voice shook as he spoke."Ev, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it."He heard Evan take a deep breath. "Then w-why did you say i-it?"Connor felt his heart fall to his stomach. "Evan, I-"
"Nevermind, it was, um, it was stupid of me to call," Evan muttered.
Before Connor could reply, the phone line went dead. The brunet wove his hands into his hair and tugged at the dark strands in frustration. Once again, Connor had gotten mad and said things he didn't mean. He fucked up. He always fucks everything up.He was angry, angry at himself for not being more patient and understanding, angry at himself for always speaking before thinking about what he was really saying.But most of all, he was angry at himself for being reason why Evan's voice shook like.. that. He never wanted to be the one behind that, never wanted to be the one to make Evan feel like his feelings didn't matter.But right now, he is.He flipped over onto his stomach, before harshly shoving his face into his pillow and screaming. God, why couldn't he do anything right?Connor screamed into his pillow until his throat hurt. He didn't realize he was crying until he flipped onto his back, and realized his cheeks were wet. Connor knew Evan wasn't mad at him. About the weed thing, anyways. But Connor also knew that Evan was most likely upset about the whole text thing, and that he'd made Evan feel insecure.Now he wasn't sure what to do anymore. Should he call Evan? No, he'll probably ignore it. He knew Evan hated talking on the phone. The brunet also knew that Evan called him out of a sudden burst of confidence. Should he go to his house? Probably not, Heidi was probably there and she was probably mad at Connor too. Should he leave him alone? No, because then Evan will get stuck in his own head.Connor sat thinking about what to do for the next few minutes when a thought struck him. He knew exactly what to do. He stood from his bed, shoving his feet into shoes as he grabbed his car keys and wallet. Leaving his room, he closed the door and jogged down the stairs. It was around 5pm, meaning they still had a few more hours of daylight. Connor left out the front door, unlocking his car and getting in. He took his phone out of his pocket and put his seatbelt on. He pulled up his and Evan's conversation again.to: Evan <3
please meet me at our spot? i'm sorry.
He put his phone in the passenger seat, not waiting for Evan's response before leaving his house. Evan was closer to their spot than he was, meaning he could walk there. Connor on the other hand liked to drive the way there. Besides, he had somewhere to stop before going.Five minutes later Connor pulled into the parking lot of a nearby Home Depot. He parked his car, turning it off and getting out as quick as possible. He reaches over and grabs his phone before closing the door and locking the car. Walking into the garden center, he found what he was looking for almost immediately. He grabbed it and walked up to the cashier.A middle aged woman smiled up at him as he handed her the item. As she was ringing it up, she started a small conversation."So, who is this for? Anyone special?"Connor looked up at her as he handed her cash. "Yeah."The woman gave him an expectant look, prompting him to continue. When he didn't, she did so herself."Mom? Sister? Girlfriend?" She asked, the polite smile on her face growing the more she spoke."My boyfriend." Connor deadpans, and the excited smile on the woman's face dulled."Oh."Connor narrowed his eyes, as if challenging her to say more. "Yeah."She finished ringing him up and handed him the bag, along with the leftover change. Connor turns to leave when she speaks again."Don't worry hun, you'll find the right girl someday."Connor whirls around, fire in his eyes. "What?"The woman shakes her head. "In a few years, you'll meet the perfect girl and realize this was all a phase."Connor felt anger burning deep in his chest, just begging to flare into something dangerous. "Thanks, but I've already met the perfect person for me," he snarled. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a gift to give him."Connor turns back, briskly walking to his car with the bag in hand. He places it gently into the passenger seat, and puts his phone by the radio. Putting his seatbelt on before starting the car, he backed out of his parking out before heading to his next destination.The ride there was quiet, but Connor's thoughts were loud enough to keep him occupied. He thought about Evan, and what he would say to him when he got there. Before he knew it, he was pulling in front of the abandoned apple orchard. He parked and turned off his car, grabbing the bag and getting out. He locked it behind him as he ducked through the gaping hole in the fence.Connor started walking through the clearing in the trees, heading towards the one he and Evan always met at.He smiled at the sight of the tree, which held tons of good memories. He and Evan had their first kiss there, along with many picnics and cloud watching sessions. But, it did hold a few bad memories─ the main one being when Evan fell and broke his arm. The two try to go there often, to fill it with more good memories than bad. Connor walked over, leaning on the tree and waiting for Evan.Five minutes passed, and his legs were starting to get tired. Connor sat against the tree and placed the bag in the grass beside him. He sat there for another 15 minutes, before a disappointed sigh left him. Evan usually got here not long after him.It was nearing 30 minutes when Connor began to question if Evan would even show up at all. He couldn't even blame him for it─ Connor had been the one that started it all. The brunet sighed, standing up and brushing his pants off. He was reaching down to grab the bag when someone called out to him."Connor?"He turned, eyes widening when he saw Evan walking towards him."Evan.. hey," he breathed out. Evan smiled softly, stopping a few feet in front of him."H-Hi.""Um," Connor rubs the back of his neck, "I'm sorry, for what I said earlier. And for smoking.""It's, um, it's okay."Connor rubs his eyes in frustration. "No, it's not," he sighed, "I didn't listen to you and smoked anyway, which I don't know why you don't want me smoking but that's for later, and then I made you feel like it was your fault." Connor uncovered his eyes, opting to look directly into the blond's. "But it wasn't, it was mine, and I just keep fucking things up, and─""Connor." Evan interrupted, and the sternness of his voice immediately shut the taller boy up. Evan stepped forward and gently grabbed his hands, fingers intertwining with his slightly longer ones."The rambling is for me, not you," Connor smiles lightly at that. "It's okay, I promise. I'm not upset with you.""Why?""Because I love you, Con."Connors eyes widen, cheeks flushing red in surprise. "You, uh, you what?""Oh crap, um, pretend I-I didn't say that.""You love me?" A wide grin suddenly breaks out on Connor's face as his grip on Evan's hands grows tighter."Surprise?"The taller laughs softly, pulling Evan into a hug. The blond pushes his face into Connors neck, breathing in the familiar scent. Connor leans down, pressing a soft kiss to the top of Evans head. "I love you too, Ev."Evans arms tighten around Connor, and the brunet can feel him smiling into his neck. Connor pulls away, looking into Evans eyes and leaning down to kiss him softly. Evan returns the kiss eagerly, putting one of his hands on Connors cheek.They pull away after a moment, before Connor remembered his gift. He leans down and grabs the bag before shoving it towards Evan."Um, I got you something to say sorry."Evan smiles softly at him as he takes the bag. "You didn't have to, Con."Connor waves him off, motioning towards it. Evan opens the bag and gasps softly, pulling out the Bonsai tree Connor bought for him. Connor takes the empty bag and shoves it into his jacket pocket."I thought it was fitting." Evan looks up at him, tears in his eyes.Connors heart drops as he looks frantically at Evan. "Oh my god, do you not like it? I can return it if you want."Evan shakes his head, cutting him off. "I love it."Evan sits down against the tree, holding the smaller one in his hand and staring at it in surprise. He looks up at Connor, patting the ground. Connor sits down next to him as the blond moves closer. He wraps his arm around Evan, who looks up and smiles at him. He leans over, pressing a kiss to his cheek."Thank you." Connor smiles and nods."Of course."The two sit in silence for a few minutes before Connor remembers what he said earlier."Um, Ev?" the blond looks up at him, raising a questioning eyebrow."Why were you mad about me smoking?"Evan blushes, looking down at the tree in his hands. He takes a deep breath before looking back up. "Um, well, I didn't want you to, because, um."Evan clears his throat, gripping the end of his shirt. "I didn't w-want you to feel so alone that you had to resort back to, um, old habits. I just want you t-to feel you can talk to me."Connor doesn't respond for a minute, making Evan panic. "Um, I know, it's s-stupid. You can do what you want, I don't want you to feel like I c-control you. Because I d-don't! Um, sorry."Evan is about to go on before Connor clears his throat. The brunet has a few tears gathering in his eyes as he makes eye contact with Evan."I'm sorry I didn't talk to you. Thank you, by the way."Evan looks at him confused. "For what?""For caring about me so much." Evan smiles up at him as Connor tightens his grip on Evans shoulder.The blond leans up to kiss his cheek again, when Connor turns his head and presses their lips together. Evan smiles into it, putting the Bonsai tree next to him and moving closer to Connor. The brunet grabs him, pulling him onto his lap and wrapping his arms around his waist. Evan starts to giggle, making Connor pull away."What?""Your hair is tickling my face."Connors face breaks into a smile as he pulls Evan against his chest and lays his head on top of the others. Evan snuggles closer, laying his head on his boyfriend's chest.The two sit there for a few minutes before Connor is tapping Evans shoulder. "We should go."Evan groans in protest, cuddling back into his chest. Connor laughs, rubbing his arm. "C'mon, we can go and take a nap at my house."Evan sighs before getting out of his lap, leaning down to grab the Bonsai tree. Connor stands up, grabbing Evans hand softly and leading him towards his car."I love you." Evan says as he catches up to walk next to Connor.Connor smiles softly at him. "I love you too, Ev. Thank you for looking out for me.""Thank you for my tree, and loving me, of course." Connor laughs, gently tugging him closer. The two walk close to each other, making a mental note to add this event to the list of "good memories" they've made at their orchard.Because as long as they're together (and Evan doesn't break his arm, of course) it's always counted as a good memory. In their books, at least.