Work Text
Hello, everyone, it’s just the internet sensation Richie Rich walking up to Starbucks with my best mates Eddie Catflap and Ralph Filthy.
"Eddie Catflap mumbled "Please Shut Up" at the scoffing Richie boastfully holding out his selfie stick grinning at the camera Richie Rich, said "Eddie do you even know what being famous entails?"
Eddie nodded "Yes I do my twitter has 500 followers"
Richie focused his face on the camera again and said "Ignore him Instagram is the place not twitter Eddie your taste is pathetic"
Filthy Ralph tried to break up the fight "Daughters could you not fight we’ve nearly reached our destination"
They entered Starbucks Richie Rich and Catflap sat while Filthy Ralph asked
"What do you want Richie?"
Richie Rich was sitting hands folded proudly when he said "A caramel macchiato, please"
Ralph Filthy turned his direction to Eddie "And you?"
Eddie said with a groan "I’d like bleach in my macchiato so I don’t have to hear him talk anymore"
Ralph Filthy processed the request "I’ll see what I can do"
he then addressed the worker who said
"Welcome to Starbucks what would you like to order today?"
Filthy Ralph gave the order"I’d like two caramel macchiatos one with bleach"
The Starbucks worker said
"Sir, we don’t serve that here"
Filthy Ralph made an empty threat
"You're going to serve it or I’m going to phone the authorities about how you were rude to a customer"
The Starbucks worker understood
"Ok two caramel macchiatos it is"
she then arrived back with the macchiatos
"Here you are"
Richie Rich slurped his macchiato while Catflap drank his only to feel sick
Ralph asked, “Are you ok Eddie?”
Eddie coughed “Do I look like I’m ok Ralph I’m dying”
Filthy Ralph rolled his eyes at Eddie “If you're dying how are you talking”
even Richie was puzzled by the blue and green contents of Catflap's macchiato
“What is in that, laundry detergent?”
Filthy Ralph nodded
"It looks like it Richie but condensed in his coffee"
Eddie then collapsed while Ralph called an ambulance Richie had other plans
"Oh No I need to post about this"
he made a praying gesture at Eddie as he snapped a picture
"30 likes to send your prayers to Eddie"
Later Edward Catflap woke up in a toxicology ward, Ralph had gone off somewhere probably to be sleazy and Richie was just sitting by his bedside
Eddie awoke as he felt groggy
"Blaahhhh"
Richie Rich looked at him this time it looked like he was genuinely concerned for Eddie
"You feeling better?" Richie Rich said
Eddie shrugged
"I guess...Could you shut up?"
Richie flamboyantly said
"Oh Eddie how I missed you-you know what kind of guy I am"
Eddie smirked at the camera and joked
"Yes I do your a shallow, superficial personality who always tries to pander to young adolescent girls"
Richie felt offended "Alright You," he said as he punched Eddie only for Eddie to dodge the punch
Richie whined "Doctor Eddie was hitting me"
Edward Catflap cynically moaned in his hospital bed putting his hand up "I wasn’t I’m his minder I have an excuse"
Richie smirked "Eddie, I’m not 15 anymore"
Eddie chuckled "You may not be but you act like one, besides we’re all you have"
Richie yelled "STOP REMINDING ME"
Eddie was taken aback he realized out of all his remarks maybe this time he went too far he usually wouldn't mention the fact Richie was an illegitimate child
Richie Rich might be a twat but his mother was busy with her "business" and he never knew his dad he was raised as a right-wing child star but lived working class he was only 15 when Eddie decided to be his minder usually they'd take the piss out of each other but this time was different
Eddie sat up from his bed holding his hands out "Come here Richie you shallow sad sod"
Richie Rich was puzzled and said, "Why are you suddenly acting queer?"
Eddie said "It's a basic human emotion you thot now let me hug you"
Richie Rich said "Hug me?" only to be given a big bear hug by Eddie
it felt kinda nice it was a modern mess caused by a macchiato but he'd never have anyone else like Eddie and even when journos and gossip sites try to invade his home he knows Eddie will always be there to sort them out