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it happens during a fansign, as these things are prone to happen—they’re careful, usually, trying to catch the signs before it goes too far and they’re forced to awkwardly try to explain to fans and the media. it’s not exactly a secret: that jeongguk is a shapeshifter. it’s hard to hide, when it happens without warning. but it’s not something they want to share so openly, either, not when jeongguk is embarrassed.but—it happens anyway. it happens during concerts, once or twice. it happens during press conferences. this time, it happens during a fansign.at first, yoongi doesn’t realize that anything has happened. he’s on the other end of the table, busy listening to the fan in front of him ask about something to do with cats or meows or—something. he’s terribly interested in it, trying to understand what she’s saying, and then—there’s a commotion from the other side of the table. he’s pulled from the conversation by some gasps and shouting from the small crowd of fans waiting for their turns, then namjoon’s voice above it all—a manager or two, someone calling his name.yoongi leans forward, forward, until he sees—well. doesn’t see jeongguk. which is the problem.“fuck,” he mutters under his breath, and then turns to the fan in front of him. their hands are linked, because she’d wanted to hold hands, and he’s not—sure what to do about this. it’s never happened during a fansign, but the noise level is rising, rising, and an uncomfortable sort of panic settles in his chest before he quickly apologizes to the fan and hurries out of his chair.“hyung,” says someone—taehyung, maybe, who was beside him, and yoongi pays no attention as he heads straight for the other end of the table. he had told them that it was a bad idea to put he and jeongguk on opposite ends of the table, and one or more of the members had given him a look, something like telling yoongi that he was greedy. that he needed to learn how to keep his personal life out of the professional lens of bangtan, but this is exactly what he was worried about.yoongi doesn’t think, as he gets to jeongguk’s empty chair. there are a hundred fans watching them, watching him—he thinks of the fansites, of twitter. there’s no way to contain it, but he shoulders past the other members and managers that have gathered around the table in some attempt to hide what’s happening from the fans, swings his arm down over the chair, and scoops up the little creature sitting there.he puts it in his sweater, unzipped halfway, and curls both arms around it protectively before he’s hurrying away, backstage—people are yelling, confused. yoongi is—angry, a little. not at jeongguk, maybe, but at the situation. at magic. it might be one of the worse abilities to have while in the public eye. and it’s not the first time, and it won’t be the last. but yoongi knows he’s going to be upset anyway.he makes it to the dressing room before anything more happens, but the moment he closes the door behind him and breathes out a small sigh of relief, he hears the tell-tale little grunt of distress. “jeongguk,” he begins, but then there’s a sharp pain in his hand and he hisses, losing his hold on the creature as it goes tumbling out of his grip—more of a leap to freedom—onto the dressing table, and then scampering off away from him.“jeongguk-ah,” says yoongi, raising his hand to inspect the bite. “i’m just trying to help you.” but—of course. it’s not jeongguk who is currently hopping off of the table and onto a chair, then onto the floor. he never retains any of his human consciousness when he shifts, so it’s just… a bunny. a cute bunny, sure—all black from ears to tail, with a little white spot in the middle of its forehead. despite being able to shift all of his life, the bunny that jeongguk shifts into has never grown more than the length of yoongi’s entire hand. he’s got big eyes, big ears, a little nose that he scrunches all of the time. sometimes the other members will coo at him when he shifts in a safe place, and yoongi is prone to agree that jeongguk as a literal bunny is adorable, but—but.more often than not, this is how yoongi deals with him: frightened, anxious, trying desperately to get away. in the middle of some public appearance, when they don’t have time.“jeongguk-ah, c’mon,” sighs yoongi, rubbing at his eyes before he makes his way across the room. he spots jeongguk against a wall, behind someone’s bag, and makes a slow approach. it’s been years—he knows how to deal with a rabbit. he knows how to deal with jeongguk as a rabbit, and it was cute, at first—realizing that he was the only one who was able to calm the bunny down enough to help him shift back into a human.he trusts you, namjoon had said. jeongguk-ah’s utter adoration for you filters down into the bunny’s mind so you’re the only one he actually likes enough. yoongi used to blush about it, stammering out that he was just the first one that jeongguk shifted in front of when he first became a trainee. but it was a nice thought.now it’s—exasperating, sometimes. he gets close enough to squat down in front of the bunny only for it to shoot off in another direction, not interested in being cared for or picked up. “jeongguk-ah,” yoongi tries again, harsher this time, but the bunny changes directions and goes scampering right through yoongi’s legs. he spins around, trying to snatch the thing anyway, but all he gets is a brush of his hands against the bunny’s soft fur before the little thing escapes under a sofa just big enough to fit him.which means it won’t fit jeongguk if he shifts back under there.in his pocket, yoongi’s phone vibrates. he imagines it—hurry up, hyung. the fans are getting worried. we can’t do anything without the both of you. it looks suspicious. hurry up, hurry up, hurry up.and yoongi sighs again. he knows how to deal with a bunny—knows that jeongguk as a bunny doesn’t like to be picked up, especially right after he shifts. he’s too frightened, unsure of his surroundings. everything is too new, and yoongi—is meant to be that point of clarity, the one familiar thing that he can come home to. if jeongguk shifts back—just as randomly as he shifts into a bunny in the first place—while the bunny is frightened or distressed, as he is now, it’s not—nice. he’s held jeongguk like that too many times, the boy crying uncontrollably for no apparent reason other than this overwhelming ache, this feeling of something being terribly wrong. they’d have to cancel the rest of the fansign.“jeongguk-ah,” says yoongi carefully. he gets to the sofa, slowly lowering himself to his knees, and then onto his stomach so that he can peer underneath. he’ll get a slap on the wrist for getting his outfit dirty, but—he spots the little black bunny under the sofa, nose twitching. it looks at him and yoongi looks back and he thinks—some people have the ability to heal others without medicine. some can make flowers grow with a flick of their wrist. some can make people fall in love with them with a look, and that might be jeongguk’s ability, too, although it has nothing to do with magic.jeongguk—can turn into a bunny. can but would never choose to if he could, and sometimes he cries about that, too: the curse of it. not being able to control it so it happens now, when it’s least convenient.yoongi lets the irritation melt away, knowing jeongguk will be beating himself up for it the moment he shifts back, even if it’s not his fault. the least yoongi can do is not beat him up for it, too.“hey little bun,” says yoongi quietly. he just watches for a time, and then carefully digs in his pocket for the snacks he knows he keeps in almost every article of clothing he has—every bag, just in case. and isn’t it strange that this has become his responsibility now, even without his permission? they share the burden. usually, he doesn’t mind.yoongi slides his hand a foot under the sofa, palm up, offering the bunny a little piece of fruit. “it’s okay,” he whispers. “i’m not gonna hurt you. i just want to take care of you, hm? my baby bun. c’mon, jeonggukkie. let hyung take care of you.”it takes some time, but—the bunny can’t resist the snack, and eventually, it makes its way over to yoongi’s hand. it takes the fruit, and yoongi gives a little grin as he carefully moves his hand, fitting it between the small spaces left over to pet it—right at the base of its ears, careful, gentle. maybe it makes sense that jeongguk is a bunny, because the human one likes that too: when yoongi scratches behind his ears, or plays with his hair, or rubs the back of his neck. it was probably meant to be.“there you go,” says yoongi, his own cheek squished into the floor. “that’s a good bun. you wanna come out of there now? we have to go back to the fans soon, i think. as much as i would rather stay back here with you, we do have a job to do.” it would be easier, he thinks, if the company didn’t try to hide this so much. the fans know, of course, that jeongguk is a shapeshifter. this happens too often in public to hide it entirely, but it’s hard to be like this. jeongguk is embarrassed about it, he knows—because everyone treats him like it should be embarrassing. they don’t talk about it. they don’t address it. it’s a gift to be able to do magic, but… but.after a few minutes of just petting the bunny and making sure that he’s calm enough, yoongi slowly pulls his hand back and watches as the little creature hops out from under the sofa to face him. carefully, yoongi reaches down and scoops it up, continuing to pet at its ears before he moves them both on top of the sofa, setting the bunny down there. the last thing he needs is for jeongguk to shift back in his arms, considering the nature of it.“you’re okay,” he tells the bunny, watching as it thumps its foot once or twice. “there’s nothing to be scared of. you want another treat?” he offers another piece of fruit to the bunny, finally checking his phone now that he doesn’t have to worry about the bunny scampering off again in fear.as expected—yoongi puts the phone down again. he doesn’t know how long it’s been, but it’s already been too long. there’s no way to force jeongguk to shift back, is the problem.it happens, as it usually does, when yoongi isn’t expecting it. he’s in the middle of stroking the bunny’s ears when it gives this little sneeze that yoongi has come to associate with shifting. he snatches his hand away and vaults off of the sofa in time for the shift to happen—and yoongi doesn’t like watching it, because it’s weird how it grows and grows, forming limbs and losing fur at the same time until, in barely a few seconds, there’s a human laying awkwardly on the sofa rather than a bunny.also—because jeongguk is always naked when he shifts back.yoongi has already turned the other way, cheeks flaring a little as he hears the disorientated sounds jeongguk makes, then the gasp and embarrassed, “not again.”“it’s, um,” begins yoongi, keeping his eyes shut lest he accidentally catch something in the mirror, as he hears jeongguk scramble off of the sofa and look for an extra set of clothes that they always bring with them. “it’s fine.” still, jeongguk makes a whining sound—entirely human this time. “it was only ten minutes, i think. although it happened in the middle of the fansign, so i think they saw and—well. yeah.”he knows jeongguk doesn’t like talking about it. knows he’s embarrassed. but there are some things he has to know anyway, and yoongi listens for the sound of a zipper before he peeks over his shoulder. “you okay?”jeongguk looks all sorts of flustered—his hair is a mess, cheeks red with embarrassment. he’s putting on his shirt inside out, and yoongi steps over to grab it from him, turning it right side out before giving it back. and then—he reaches up, smoothing down the other’s hair, habit. he can’t help thinking of jeongguk as a bunny even like this.“fine,” mumbles jeongguk, pulling his shirt over his head. “just—don’t like it.”“i know,” says yoongi with a frown. “it wasn’t too bad this time. and you only ran away for a little bit.”“you’re full of dust,” jeongguk tells him then, although with an embarrassed duck of his head. yoongi looks down to see the front of his sweater and pants grey with dust—he wipes it off hastily, although he can’t help but laugh a little.“that’s your fault,” he says. “you hid under the sofa.”jeongguk groans again, and then stumbles forward a step and leans down until he can rest his forehead on yoongi’s shoulder. “i’m sorry, hyung.”“hey,” says yoongi, cupping at the back of jeongguk’s neck and rubbing. “it’s not your fault. you can’t control it. and i honestly wouldn’t trust anyone else to calm you down enough to deal with this. so—it’s fine. don’t feel guilty. okay?”when jeongguk doesn’t say anything—although his hands reach out for the ends of yoongi’s sweater anyway, playing with it—yoongi taps his cheek with a thumb. “okay, bun?”“yeah,” mumbles jeongguk.“we have to go back out,” says yoongi. he likes this, sometimes, when jeongguk shifts back and he’s vulnerable and a little needy and it’s just he and yoongi. when he comes to yoongi like this, needing affection as a human as much as he does as a bunny. but they don’t have time now, and he tugs a little at jeongguk’s ear before turning his face and pressing a kiss to the boy’s temple. “c’mon, bunny. you can sleep in my bed tonight if it makes you feel better.”it seems to take jeongguk a few moments to decide, as though he can actually choose not to go back out and finish the fansign. they’ll gloss over what happened, because everyone knows anyway, and yoongi will try to ignore the media articles about it. it’s hard, but they all do their best to make jeongguk feel like he’s done nothing wrong. it’s just the magic within him. it’s just the wrong ability with the wrong profession. it could probably be worse.“okay,” jeongguk finally mumbles, lifting his head. for a moment, they’re mere inches apart, and jeongguk looks—sad. yoongi pats his cheek.“hop to it,” he says.“hyung,” groans jeongguk, but yoongi is already turning around and leaving the room. “that’s offensive.”“it’s offensive that you don’t like my rabbit jokes.”“maybe i won’t sleep in your bed.”“fine by me.”“wait, no, i was joking—”that night, jeongguk does sneak into his bed. it’s late, long past when they should be sleeping—schedules, preparations for performances and the upcoming tour. yoongi’s already half-asleep when the gentle knock comes, and he knows he doesn’t need to acknowledge it for jeongguk to know to come in. yoongi’s never denied him, especially when he’s made a promise. and as much as offering the other side of his bed might not be much—he knows what it means. knows the sort of reassurances that jeongguk constantly needs when he feels as though he’s only bringing down the rest of the band because of his magic.he does shuffle over somewhat as he hears the door open, then close, and the soft padding of footsteps before the quiet, “hyung?”“hey,” whispers yoongi. “took you long enough.”he imagines jeongguk’s careful blush, bashful as he pulls back the covers enough to slip under them, too. he wastes no time in pressing himself against yoongi, curling his body against yoongi’s as he slides an arm around the older’s stomach. cheek pressed onto his shoulder, tangled legs. it always feels a bit weird when jeongguk isn’t here.and yoongi curls his fingers into jeongguk’s hair, lazily stroking back and forth. he drops a kiss to jeongguk’s forehead for good measure. “okay?” he asks.he feels jeongguk exhale, feels all of the tension and anxiety bleed right out onto the bedsheets with that one breath. yoongi holds him a little tighter. “i guess,” replies jeongguk. “are you sure the fansign was okay? even with—?”“‘course,” says yoongi. “no one blames you, gukkie. even if you do.”“can’t help it.”“i know.” yoongi used to curse the fact that he didn’t have a single ounce of magic within him. most of the members have some degree of magical ability—jimin likes to call himself a weather witch even though all he can really do is make clouds appear over someone’s head when he’s angry at them. taehyung’s an empath. seokjin’s abilities have always been a little mysterious, even now, but yoongi suspects his utter ability to charm anyone he talks to isn’t entirely rooted in his personality and good looks. jeongguk, though—he has the only magic that isn’t controllable, or the only uncontrollable magic that actually has consequences.seeing the trouble, seeing the way jeongguk constantly blames himself for shapeshifting—it makes yoongi realize that it might be better to be completely normal. besides, maybe he has his own special sort of magic right here.“i wish i didn’t have any magic,” says jeongguk after a beat, words quiet and muffled into yoongi’s shoulder. it’s not—the first time yoongi has heard those words. more often than not they’re yelled in frustration after another shapeshifting incident, or cried into his neck when there’s a mean article in the media. this one is tired.yoongi turns his head again, lips pressed against jeongguk’s forehead. “you wouldn’t be you without it,” he says. “the fans love you, and we love you, and—i love you just like this. cute little ears and tail and all.”“hyung,” groans jeongguk, pulling away enough to look at yoongi’s face. “it’s so—embarrassing. i don’t like ruining our events.”“you don’t ruin them, guk-ah. you just—make them a little more interesting.”“the managers get mad sometimes.”“i’ll kick anyone who gets mad at you for this,” says yoongi, just to see the funny little nose scrunch that jeongguk does, so reminiscent of the bunny he turns into. yoongi couldn’t imagine him as anything else. “but—really, jeongguk-ah. it’s super cheesy to say, but you’re perfect the way you are. you didn’t ask for your magic, so you can’t blame yourself for what it does. no one thinks any less of you for it, and you don’t have to love it, but you don’t have to hate yourself for it, either. we’re happy to take care of you. i mean—i’m happy to.”it fell to him so naturally—when they first realized that jeongguk as a bunny only responded to and let yoongi take care of him, there was no question about whether or not yoongi would be the designated helper during jeongguk’s shapeshifting episodes. he never questioned it, never resented jeongguk for it. it’s hard, sometimes, to always be keeping an eye on jeongguk to watch for any shifting, to always be chasing after a bunny in dressing rooms and the dorm and even on stage sometimes, to always have snacks with him or other supplies to take care of a bunny unless he shifts for a longer period of time.but—yoongi realized, somewhere along the way, that he would have been searching for jeongguk anyway. he would have been taking care of him anyway, even if it was just a little differently. it just makes sense. jeongguk sighs, laying his head back on yoongi’s shoulder. “you’re so nice to me.”“you’re my baby bun,” grins yoongi, planting another kiss on the top of jeongguk’s head, and then his temple, and then—craning his neck to reach—his cheek, down and down.“hyung,” giggles jeongguk, squirming as yoongi tries to roll over onto him properly, still peppering kisses all over his face—jeongguk’s most favourite form of affection—and they’re too loud for the middle of the night when everyone else is trying to sleep, but yoongi doesn’t really care, not if jeongguk is going to be happy. he’s still giggling as yoongi gets his hands on his face, trying to keep him still to accept the onslaught of kisses, and then—“wait, hyung, i’m gonna sneeze—”“fuck, wait—” yoongi begins, still holding onto jeongguk when he rolls back the other way, and jeongguk ends up half-flopped on top of him before he inhales—“jeongguk—” and then sneezes directly in yoongi’s face.when yoongi opens his eyes, having closed them to avoid getting spit in them, he sees not jeongguk on top of him shaking his head from the sneeze and apologizing, but—nothing. well. for a moment, he sees nothing, and then he looks down to see the familiar black bunny in his lap only a moment before it tries to scamper away.despite the time of night, yoongi’s reflexes are faster as he reaches out and snatches the bunny before it can run off. he gives a sigh—he’d been hoping to avoid this, mostly because he and jeongguk cuddling was meant to make jeongguk feel better about this very kind of thing. jeongguk shifting in the safety of their house is much better than in public, particularly in front of fans, but he knows jeongguk hates it anyway. hates missing out on what’s supposed to be some of the only time he and yoongi really get to spend together without worrying about prying eyes.yoongi begins petting at the base of the bunny’s ears, leaning back until he’s against his pillow again with the bunny on his chest. it doesn’t take long for the creature to calm down—this is familiar. this is home, even if it has more to do with yoongi than the actual building.“you’re okay,” sighs yoongi, the bunny now settled on his chest. he pets it, marvelling at how tiny it is in his hands—it’s almost too small to be seen like this, nestled in the protective cocoon of yoongi’s grasp. that’s how yoongi feels most of the time—even when jeongguk is a human, it feels like he’s this protective shield, this barrier between he and the rest of the world. jeongguk doesn’t need protecting, maybe, but yoongi finds himself doing it anyway.that’s what happens when jeongguk can shift into a helpless little creature, barely bigger than yoongi’s hands. it would be too easy for something awful to happen, especially when jeongguk shifts in public. he trusts their fans, but one might try to take him home. someone might step on him. he might scamper off and shift back in a foreign, scary place, and the very idea—makes yoongi sick to his stomach.he slides his thumbs over the bunny’s ears, pouting a little. “you’re a lot of trouble, aren’t you?” he asks. “but that’s okay. i don’t mind it. even if i like you better as a human. you’re a little too small to cuddle in my bed, i think.”the bunny, of course, doesn’t react. he’s tired, yoongi can tell, slumping against yoongi’s chest with his eyes closed. which is fine by yoongi, considering how tired he is, but—if there’s one good thing about jeongguk shifting like this, it’s that he doesn’t remember what happens when he’s a bunny. he loses minutes, sometimes hours of his life, and it’s hard, yoongi knows, but. he doesn’t remember what yoongi says when he’s a bunny, so—so. maybe it has some advantages, at least for him.“i like taking care of you,” murmurs yoongi. “whether or not you’re a bunny. sometimes i wish it was more than that, you know, like—me taking care of you just because you’re you. not because i’m your self-appointed custodian or whatever. do you think it would be different if you couldn’t shift? do you think we’d still be here?” without the shifting, he thinks—they might not have had so many excuses to be together. alone together. and it’s a horrible thought, and yoongi isn’t sure he could have trusted a younger version of himself to do it right without this one thing that has pushed them together again and again over the years.anyway—anyway. yoongi carefully runs his hands over the bunny. it might be sleeping. “can you hear me, jeongukkie?” he asks. “i love you. really, properly. my little bun. my baby.” there’s—noise outside of his room. yoongi sucks in a breath, eyes darting to the door as he waits for someone to either come in or not. the others give him strange looks, sometimes, when he and jeongguk exit from the same room in the morning.i came into jeonggukkie’s room this morning to ask him something, someone will say. he wasn’t there. and yoongi will put his head down, not paying attention as he eats his breakfast. it’s not like anyone else in the house sleeps in their own beds all the time, but—maybe. maybe jeongguk is the only one who doesn’t see it.“i guess you’re not shifting back before you wake up,” says yoongi after that, letting his head hit the pillow. “maybe you know anyway. what the fuck am i doing talking to a fucking bunny?” he huffs. closes his eyes. jeongguk is still warm in his hands, this tiny breathing creature—delicate and fragile, at least like this. in the morning, jeongguk will be embarrassed about it. and yoongi will tease him, because he always does. but he hopes jeongguk does know, in some capacity.belatedly, he adds, “night, jeonggukkie.” he lets the exhaustion take over, lets himself sink and sink into this bed and his dreams. with the bunny sleeping on his chest, content for once, yoongi thinks—it could be worse. he falls asleep like that, wishing wanting wandering—yoongi wakes before jeongguk does. it’s to soft light filtering through his curtains, a blessed day without an alarm blaring through the darkness. he huffs once, twice, trying to pry his eyes open before he recognizes the heavy weight on top of him and shifts enough to look down and see the top of jeongguk’s head on his chest. and also—the rest of him. butt naked, as usual, on top of the covers that thankfully separate them.he’ll—have to deal with that. for some time, he just lets himself slowly wake, staring up at the ceiling. only once he’s come back to himself enough to face whatever comes next does he slide a hand over the back of jeongguk’s neck, up into his hair. “jeonggukkie,” he begins quietly. he tugs a little at the boy’s hair, too lazy to do more than that. “wake up, bun.”it’s always hard for jeongguk to wake up at the best of times. he feels the other stir, though, curling a little more into himself on top of yoongi, and yoongi keeps scratching at the nape of his neck in some encouragement to wake up. finally, jeongguk’s head moves, turning up to look at yoongi with a sleepy grin.“hi baby,” says yoongi.“morning hyung,” says jeongguk. he leans up a little more, like he’s going to ask for something, like he wants a good morning kiss—which yoongi wouldn’t be opposed to. and isn’t, because it’s happened before.but.“feeling a little cold?”jeongguk’s eyebrows furrow, sleepy face all confused and it’s—fucking adorable, but yoongi just bites at his lip to keep himself from ruining it before jeongguk asks, “why would i be cold?”“i think you forgot your pajamas. or you were trying to get frisky without me knowing, in which case—i’ll have to give you a slap on the wrist. very naughty.”jeongguk levels him with another confused look before—yoongi sees the moment he realizes. and then he looks down at himself and gives a shrill shriek, instantly scrambling backwards and off of the bed with yoongi’s covers in tow. he’s off the bed in an instant, convers wrapped around himself as yoongi howls with laughter, unable to help it despite the desperate and embarrassed look on jeongguk’s face.“hyung,” he begins as yoongi clutches at his chest, laughing.“sorry—” he begins, even though he isn’t.“this isn’t funny. i’m—you—urgh.” with that, jeongguk goes marching out of the room, blankets wrapped tightly around him to keep anyone from seeing anything—although it’s not anything that they haven’t all seen before in some capacity.yoongi keeps giggling before he calls out, “jeongguk-ah, come back! i’m sorry!”“i hate you,” comes jeongguk’s reply through the open door and from halfway down the hallway.“what do you think you’d look like with ears and a tail if you were still human?”“fuck off, yoongi-hyung!”yoongi’s still giggling when hoseok stops in front of his open door, staring in with a befuddled expression on his face. “why did jeongguk leave your room butt-naked and yelling at you?” he asks.“are you sure you want to know the answer to that question?” asks yoongi, and hoseok’s disgusted face is enough to set him off again, too busy laughing to be bothered by the assumption.(jeongguk does come back, albeit with clothes on, and “only to return your blankets, not because i want to be here,” he claims. but yoongi grabs his collar and pulls him in anyway, planting a kiss on his nose that has jeongguk blushing and stammering as he runs away again, just as cutely as he did the first time.so—yoongi prefers him as a human, but sometimes being a bunny comes in handy. he’s not complaining, either way.)