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It was almost half past 7, and just a few hours before his special day ends. Hanbin never wanted a celebration in the first place, but his mom insisted on hosting one for their relatives and other friends, who wanted to wish him a happy birthday. If it were his choice, a simple family dinner would suffice. After which, a moment of solitary, he thinks, would be the perfect gift that he can give to himself.
But all of that is something he just wishes for to be true but would never come to reality.
Their house is filled with music, laughter and cheers from the guests. But Hanbin’s mind is wandering elsewhere. He’s sitting beside his sister and his mom, giving a meek smile whenever he was pulled in to whatever the people surrounding him discusses on at the moment. And out of respect, he stays. But god knows how much he just wanted an excuse to get out of that situation.
“Are you ok
oppa
?”
His sister asked.
“Do you want to eat cake? I’ll share mine with you?
Before saying anything back, Hanbin poked the tip of his sister’s nose with his
pointy
finger and said,
“You can have that all to yourself
Byul
.
Besides
,
after this day, I’m sure mom will prohibit you to eat sweets as much as you’re eating now.”
His sister just giggled at that.
H
anbin
was thankful for the little distraction
from his sister
but once that little chit-chat
ended;
he’s back to square one.
If someone is keeping count on how many times Hanbin fished out his phone and checked something on it and then
p
ut it back in his pocket
again
, it would be probably count close to more or less than the total number of
guests in their house, which is a lot, considering how his mom likes to invite everyone.
In all honesty, Hanbin can say that he’s already moved on. But the saying,
old habits die hard
seem to still cling on every inch of his skin, especially during days like this.
Besides,
a
promise is a promise
, he thinks.
And he did keep his end of the deal. Earlier that year, with all his mustered courage, he sent a text to Junhoe greeting him a happy birthday. It was a promise between the two of them, even before they were dating, that each year, on both of their birthdays, it would be a priority to greet each other, give each their favorite cakes, and of course buy gifts, which they should make sure that is well thought of; not necessarily expensive but practical and thoughtful. The gesture and the thought that went into the process of choosing the perfect gift is what matters to the both of them.
Of course, that was before they broke up
a year and a half ago.
Their break up ruined them both but Hanbin took most of the injury since he was
t
he one left for another person. It was all too sudden for Hanbin, something that he didn’t saw coming especially since he thought that Junhoe, his best friend, would never to that to him.
But things happened. Junhoe drifted away from him and found comfort in someone else which Hanbin, thought to himself, that he wasn’t able to provide.
Despite all that had happened, they tried to keep a part of what they had before between them; Junhoe being the one who suggested that they should still keep their communication open. Probably out of guilt, Hanbin thinks. But since he loved Junhoe dearly, he accepted it and swallowed whatever pride was left in him.
In someone else’s perspective, Hanbin is just inflicting more hurt to himself. But when you love someone, you try to keep a part of him in you even if it’s unfair, even if it hurts.
So he waits.
All their guests have already left. His mom, dad and sister have all gone to their room to rest and recuperate their energy that was drained from the party that they had earlier. Hanbin also did the same; he went to his room to rest. Though he didn’t do much, the tiredness he feels may even be much more than what his family felt combined. Hanbin feels tired, gloomy and defeated; contrary to what he should be feeling on that very day.
He knows that it’s stupid to even think Junhoe
is
still going to call him or even text him. But having
been best friends with his ex, there’s still a spark of hope in him that maybe, Junhoe would not let him down,
even just
for their friendship’s sake.
But nothing ever came; not even a hint of anything.
That’s when Hanbin realized that he shouldn’t have clung to any of Junhoe’s promises. How can he have, when promises mean nothing to Junhoe
in the first
place.