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It’s early in the morning. Too early, and Hoseok’s too tired to deal with anything right now. The sun is still in it’s bed, but the coming of dawn is near, barely visible, but if you look hard at the horizon, you can see the light start to bloom like a flower growing out of the ground.There’s a cigarette perched between his lips as he stares over the tops of building that extend as far as he can see as he balances precariously at the edge of the rooftop, several steps away from falling. How easy it would be to fall, wouldn’t it be?Hoseok wants to go back to sleep. But he’s here for one purpose and one purpose only, as he stands on top of the school building, one he hasn’t entered in roughly a year, the price of college taking its toll on him.But this rooftop was a place that never left his mind. It was where he met the mystery named Min Yoongi, the angry senior that shared two classes with him, but didn’t show up to either. He had a passion for music, a flaming passion to rival the sun. With bleached and dyed mint hair that was softer than it looked, he seemed to be nothing but a delinquent with an addiction to both nicotine and leather jackets.If you asked his classmates at the time, they would have quite a few responses for you. Who was Min Yoongi?Scary. Demonic. Hot. Brooding. Strange. Delinquent. A bad influence. And as much as Hoseok would love to lie, and say Yoongi was actually a fluffy softie under that hard exterior, it’s simply not true. Most of those things they used to whisper as he walked by in the halls were true. He was everything they said he was. But like Yoongi got addicted to cigarettes, Hoseok got addicted to the scent of strawberries that wafted off of his small build if you got too close.Hoseok got addicted to Min Yoongi like a moth drawn to a flame. And he knew it. But he didn’t care.Because Min Yoongi is someone special. The first person to teach him what love really was.
Remember when we first met? You said “light my cigarette.”
“I didn’t expect someone like you to skip class, Gwangju.”Hoseok spun around in shock, eyes widening in realization as he cautiously backed away from the railing, afraid that the mint-haired boy would push him and send him flying to his death.“How do you know I’m from Gwangju?”Yoongi snorted, taking the unlit cigarette from between his lips before laughing. “Lucky guess. Accent. Am I right?”“Ye-Yeah.” Yoongi smirked, sensing his hesitation.“You scared of me, Gwangju?” Yoongi asked tauntingly, words slurring as he leans against the railing opposite from where Hoseok stands, several meters away on the right side of the roof. The wind blew in the second-long silence that fell, lifting Yoongi’s bangs off of his forehead, revealing raised eyebrows.“No.” Yoongi scoffed.“Don’t you want to know whether I’ve killed a man? Stepped on some puppies? You curious, Gwangju?” His tone seemed teasing, but underneath his words was a river of frustration as he smirked at Hoseok.“I thought it was arson. And not kittens, puppies.” Hoseok didn’t know where the newfound confidence was coming from, but he felt like he was glowing red from the inside out as Yoongi glanced at him with a momentary expression of surprise before the calm cockiness returned.“You want to ask?”“You haven’t.” Hoseok responded, and he felt himself burning slowly, because he was already so shocked with himself. He felt a strange well of pride as he saw Yoongi look up at him in surprise.“You’re interesting, Gwangju.” Yoongi coughs, looking away to stare out at the view.Hoseok scoffed. As if. “I ain’t special. Don’t waste your time.”“You think you aren't. That’s why you’re interesting, Gwangju.”“I have a name.”“Oh? And that is?”“Hoseok. Jung Hoseok.” He trails off the slightest bit towards the end, confidence shrinking as Yoongi turns back to him with a new blazing look in his eyes. His eyes dragged down Hoseok’s body, lingering around the tan skin on his neck and arc of his Cupid’s bow. His eyes then locked again with Hoseok’s, dark pools staring into Hoseok’s.“Hoseok.” The way he rolled Hoseok’s name around his mouth before balancing the letters on his lips made Hoseok’s face burn slightly, so he turned away, hoping that Yoongi didn’t see the strange rose color on his cheeks. “Suits you.”“Thanks?”“Why’re you skipping class?”“Physics. I hate it.”“So you’re not going to become some jackass physics professor?” Hoseok scoffs, mildly offended.“No, why would you think that?” Yoongi’s lips pull into a lazy, sideways grin as his drawls out his response.“No offense Gwangju, but you act like you got a stick up your ass half the time.” Hoseok wants to be angry, but all he can do is sigh because he can’t exactly pretend that statement was false.“I just want to get out. I just need to pass, that’s it.”“What’re you going to study?”“Dance.” A strange expression appeared on Yoongi’s face, an odd mix of amusement and interest.“Dance?” Yoongi repeated. “I didn’t peg you as a type. You any good?”“Am I…good?” Yoongi nodded. Hoseok had never bothered to ask himself that. It had always been such a big part of his life, fuck, it was his everything, but was he good at it? He had no idea.“I don’t know.”“You don’t know if you’re good at what you want to do for the rest of your life?”Hoseok could only shrug. “That’s never a question I’ve bothered to ask myself. It’s always been something I’ve done, so I’ve never bothered to wonder if I was any good. It was just something I loved.”“Let me watch you someday. Let’s see if you’re anything special.” Hoseok only gaped at the shorter boy as he reaches into his pocket, scoffing and cursing at himself as he pulls and empty hand out of his jean pocket.“You got a lighter on you?” Hoseok in fact -did- have a lighter on him.“So what if I do?”“What do you mean? I want you to light my cigarette.”“Why should I?”Yoongi laughed, low and raspy. “Now you’re just being childish, Hoseok.”Hoseok gave up, reaching into a pocket until he could feel the rough plastic edges. He didn’t know why he carried a lighter around. He didn’t smoke. Never tried to. He dove through the depths of his memory to find the reason, quickly realizing that he just enjoyed the flame, staring at its dance in awe.Pulling it out, he threw it to Yoongi, who caught it swiftly, victorious smile on his face. “Thanks, Gwangju.”“Hoseok.”“Okay, Hoseok.”Hoseok’s class didn’t end for another thirty minutes, he realized as he stood awkwardly as Yoongi exhaled a cloud of smoke, turning to find Hoseok staring at him. “Take the picture, it’ll last longer.” His eyes followed Hoseok’s intrigued gaze to the cigarette perched between his lips. Yoongi quickly realized.The all-round good boy didn’t smoke. “You want to try?” Hoseok looked up to meet Yoongi’s challenging gaze before nodding slowly.“How?”Yoongi took several large steps toward Hoseok, to instinctively stepped away at the sudden intrusion of his space. He felt the metal bar at the end of the floor press into his back, and Yoongi smirked as he stood so they were nearly chest-to-chest. Taking the cigarette out of his mouth, he pressed the end onto Hoseok’s closed lips.“Open up, Gwangju.” Hoseok gulped audibly, his Adam’s apple bobbing and Yoongi’s smirk grew wider a his eyes drifted to the subtle action. “You scared?”Hoseok coaxed his lips open, and Yoongi placed the stick between his lips, gesturing for him to close his mouth again, which his did obediently.“Inhale.”Something warm filled his lungs and his brain went fuzzy momentarily before he erupted in a coughing fit dropping the cigarette, coughing his lungs out.He could hear the sound of Yoongi laughing again hidden underneath the frantic rhythm of his own heartbeat.“Easy there,” Yoongi said between laughs, and Hoseok couldn’t help but he surprised as the seemingly caring phrase. “Never seen a person cough that hard on a cigarette.”“Never smoked before.” Hoseok croaked, and Yoongi’s hand appeared on his back, rubbing the space several inches below Hoseok’s tan neck.“I can see that.”“Don’t make fun of me.” Hoseok said, but it came out as more of a whine, judging by Yoongi’s never fading smirk.“Okay.”“What?”“You want to hang out tonight?”Hoseok’s mouth dropped to the floor, if that was possible. “What?”“I like you, Gwangju. You wanna leave and go hang with your friends, or do you wanna meet my gang?”Hoseok pretended to think, feigning nonchalance, but his insides were whirling with something both thrilling and terrifying. “I have a curfew.” He blurted, ever so eloquently.Yoongi raised and eyebrow, and Hoseok could see the heavy inhale as the mint-haired male forced himself not to laugh.“Sneak out. It’s not rocket science, Gwangju.”“O-Okay.” Yoongi smirked.“Cool. I’ll text you. Thanks for the lighter, by the way,” He said, walking back towards the doors that would take him back to the lower floors of the building. He lifted a hand, and Hoseok caught sight of the ink that stained the back of his wrist. He held his arm flat, not as a wave, but as a sign of truce that they were currently more than just strangers.It was a sign that Hoseok couldn’t talk to Yoongi in public yet. No waves, no hellos, no extra glances. But that hand sign symbolized Hoseok’s new ability to give Yoongi a small nod of recognition whenever they passed each other in the halls.It wasn’t much, but it was enough. It was enough, and Hoseok found the new situation quite thrilling, now matter how stupid it was. Because it was Min Yoongi. And no one knew Min Yoongi.
So I lied to my mom and dad…I jumped the fence and I ran…
“Night, Taemin.” Hoseok said through the phone, standing in front of his closet, fully dressed at midnight, because Yoongi had somehow got his number, and as much as Hoseok wasn’t complaining, he was actually going to go meet someone his didn’t know. Some people he didn’t know.His outfit was simple, blue ripped jeans and a plaid shirt hung over a plain white top and a green jacket in his hand. Once his phone was safely tucked in his pocket, he turned to his bedroom window that was only several feet of the ground. He could jump and not injure himself. He had done it before, it wasn’t his fault he was scared of heights.With several deep breaths and a new lighter on a chain around his neck, He climbed onto the windowsill before making a permanent decision with many consequences. But Hoseok didn’t know that yet. With the grass soft underneath his converse, he used the agility he had gained from dance to his advantage as he easily gripped the chain fence with his fingers and hauled himself over the edge so he was straddling the bar on top. Carefully making sure no articles of clothing were caught on the metal pieces that stuck up from the fence, he jumped down once again and he was out.He was out. Turning to look at his parents window, he thanked whatever gods were on his side for the closed curtain that separated him from the sight of his parents sleeping, undisturbed, in their bed.His phone came out of his pocket again as he followed the careful directions from Yoongi, calling a cab to drive him the quick ten minute drive to the address Yoongi had sent him. His fear truly settled in once they rode through the train tracks and onto the parts of town that his parents had warned him never to go.How mad would Yoongi be if he told him that he was just going home instead? How much more would it cost if Hoseok would just tell the driver to turn around and take him home, so he could sleep and wake up once more at five AM for early dance practice?But the taxi slowly halted to a complete stop and Hoseok had to take several careful breaths not to be thrown into a panic attack. The driver seemed to sense his despair, turning to look back at him sympathetically.“First time sneaking out the house, kid?” The man asked as Hoseok handed him several bills before shoving his wallet back into the pocket of his jeans.“Yeah.” Hoseok exhaled shakily as his fingers curled around the door handle, frozen.“What year are you in?”“Senior.” Hoseok was willing to answer any question the driver asked as long as he wouldn’t have to get out of the safety of the car and into the darkness where Hoseok didn’t know who would come out and grab him.“Who’re you out here to meet?”Hoseok paused. Yoongi wasn’t his friend. “An acquaintance.”The man whistled lowly, and Hoseok glared at him for a second before the man responded. “Looks like you got yourself into a pretty tough situation there.”Hoseok scoffed. “No shit, sherlock.”The man’s smile softened as he held out a piece of paper with several digits written on them. Hoseok took the small slip hesitantly.
“I’ll tell you what, kid. If things end up going wrong, call me and I’ll be back to pick you up again. I’m in this area all night, if you need help, that’s my number.”Hoseok suddenly felt guilty for snapping at him as he tucked the number into the back of his phone case. “Thanks. I really appreciate it.”The man shot him a wide smile as Hoseok’s fingers curled harder around the handle, and with a surge of bravery, he pushed the door open as the chilling night hair hit the parts of his exposed skin.“Good luck, kid.” The driver bid his farewell, and he was gone. And Hoseok was standing by himself in the middle of a street he didn’t recognize, meeting people he didn’t know, and his parents didn’t know where he was. All in all, it was dark and this was Hoseok’s idea of hell.Trying to be as inconspicuous as possible, he quietly navigated through the broken trashed buildings before he finally found the place Yoongi had messaged him about. A shitty shack with a roof that looked like it was made of tin, with graffiti art that coated the entire front side. He pushed the sut door, and it opened with ease, revealing another door made of the same material at the far corner of the empty room.Hoseok began to hear voices coming through, laughs and clinks from bottles being knocked together. Finally, he heard the mildly familiar rough tone that belonged to Yoongi as he spoke to a shocked Hoseok on the other side of the door.“You coming in or not, Gwangju? We’re waiting.” Hoseok put a hand over his mouth to stop himself from letting out a cry of surprise, then pushed the door open, only to be met with six pairs of eyes boring into his skull.“Hi.” He squeaked, terrified.
But we couldn’t go very far, because you locked your keys in your car…
“Fucking hell.” Yoongi cried out, louder than expected as Hoseok tugged him behind several trash cans that were laying on their side, contents spilling out onto the concrete ground. The police cars went by along with several officers who came walking by casually searching for something.What they were searching for were several seemingly underage kids smoking in an abandoned shack in the wrong side on town.Hoseok turned to see Jimin and Jungkook standing with their backs up against the wall, chests heaving from running this far, shit-faced and tipsy with the cigarette smoke clouding their minds. Jimin had a hand protectively wrapped around Jungkook’s bicep, ready to run whenever the opportunity came.Their breaths quieted as Taehyung gave them the ‘okay’ sigal from the other side of the street, Jin peeking out from behind him cautiously, eyes darting at each car that drove by.“We’re good.” Namjoon collapsed against the brick walls before pulling out a lighter before Yoongi shot him a glare.“All of you go home.” Quietly obeying, Taehyung crossed the empty street, Jin walking behind in his footsteps. The both obediently followed Namjoon as he turned and began to walk back in the direction of the shack, turning back to Yoongi with the same sideways grin that he always used.“I’ll text you, Yoon. Get Hobi home safely.” Hoseok scoffed from behind Yoongi falling back against the cans again, uncaring that he was sitting in a pile of garbage, only glad that no one managed to get arrested this time. Yoongi turned back to him with a soft look in his eyes, slightly apologetic. Hoseok wondered how deep those eyes go.“Let’s walk.” He said while standing up, reaching out a hand to help Hoseok up as well. Hoseok took his hand, confused. “Can I crash at your place tonight?” Hoseok nearly jumped away, shocked at the request.“Can’t you just go home? What’s wrong?” Yoongi laughed ruefully, yet there was an undercurrent of pure amusement, as if the situation was so stupid yet it was the reality.“No can do, Gwangju. I locked my keys in Jin’s pickup. It’s a little late now, isn’t it?” Yoongi laughed humorlessly, eyes turning slightly wary as he looked over at Hoseok, who was staring back at him, emotionless.“I can’t let you.”“Why?”“Parents, Yoongi. Parents.”“I’ll climb through the window in the morning. Fucking silently. Please.” Yoongi was looking at him with the biggest puppy eyes and Hoseok was weak. Yoongi was slowly seeping his way into the empty crevices in Hoseok’s heat, in the soft places. His mind is racing with thoughts and the now subtle high that’s still buzzing in his veins, adrenaline just begging to be used.Suddenly, the brunette bursted into a loud laugh, unstoppable and breathless as he clung onto the mint-haired boy for support, knees nearly buckling underneath him, entire body shaking with each heaving breath.“Hoseok?”“Yoongi.” Hoseok responded between gaps in his laughter.“Can I stay at your place?”“If you get caught, I’ll kill you,”Yoongi just tipped his head down in understanding. “Right, Gwangju.”
So you sat and stared at my lips, and I could already feel your kiss.
After a long walk home, Hoseok was barely able to fumble with his keys and gently slipped them into the lock. He thank the lords as the key turned smoothly and the door popped open.Hoseok then remembered that Yoongi was a little drunk, just as he tripped over the bed frame and scrambled for purchase on the coat hangers on the wall, causing a few jackets to come crashing to the ground, and Hoseok just sighed longsufferingly before wrapping a hand around Yoongi’s small wrist and pulled him towards the stairway.Dragging a tired Yoongi up the stairs was more difficult than he thought it would be. Like trying to walk a cat, he meowed and scratched as Hoseok shoved him up the last few stairs and into the safety of his bedroom.Clothes, Yoongi needed clothes. Hoseok wasn’t sure if he had anything in Yoongi’s size, only owning clothes that were slightly lose for even himself, so Yoongi would drown in any of his clothes. Hoseok threw open the closet before tugging a plain white shirt out and tossed it in Yoongi’s general direction, the mint haired boy was lying on the bed, too comfortable to move. He only shifted when Hoseok hissed quietly at him, “Change before falling asleep, asshat.”Yoongi sat up, blinking sleepily before smiling lazily at Hoseok. Hoseok hated and loved that smile, because it made something flutter deep in his chest, a feeling he hadn’t had since year eight when his friend Joy had kissed him on the swingset. “You know Gwangju, you’re a lot more than what they make you out to be.”“I’m glad.”They were both frozen, staring, the space between them suddenly too much as Yoongi’s eyes widened in a new alertness as he stepped off the bed and takes quick strides towards Hoseok, who cowered slightly underneath Yoongi’s gaze. His back hit the wall next to the closet and Yoongi’s face is inches from him.He was looking at him with his head tilted. Asking, “Is this okay?”Hoseok nodded weakly and guled as Yoongi smiles softly at him, raising a hand to trace Hoseok jawline with his gentle fingertips. A soft touch that left Hoseok craving more.“If you’re going to kiss me, do it.”Yoongi surged forward, sealing together in a hard kiss. Hoseok stumbled back at the force of the impact, one hand coming automatically on Yoongi’ back, securing the other in Yoongi’s hair, pulling slightly as Yoongi but down on the brunette’s bottom lip. They were kissing. Like actually, kissing.It was different than any of the other kisses he’s had before. It wasn’t too wet like the eager girls that kissed him hard at the back of the school, or shy and dry like the nervous boys experimenting behind the doors of their bedrooms. It was experienced. Warm. It felt like someone had lit the ends of his nerves on fire, and it was burning it’s way to his heart, which was pounding loudly.When Yoongi pulled away, leaving them both gasping for air, a string of saliva connected them and Yoongi chuckled low and it sounded so fuckign fond. Hoseok’s heart skipped a beat.“Damn, Gwangju.”“I’m Hoseok.”“You’re mine.”Okay, maybe his heart skipped multiple beats.
Long nights, daydreams, sugar and smoke rings, I’ve been a fool, but strawberries and cigarettes…
Always taste like
Midnight in an abandoned pool isn’t exactly where Hoseok thought he would ever be, but there he was, pushed next to Jimin, busy with an intense conversation about hip hop versus contemporary dancing, nursing one beer in the crook of his arm.If he was paying attention to his surroundings, he would have noticed Yoongi staring at him, looking fond, so fucking fond, as fingers danced on his knee, a kitty asking for attention.Yoongi seemingly gave up after a few attempts of catching Hoseok’s attention, so he opted to turn to Jungkook before pulling two cigarettes out of a fresh pack, sticking the first one between his lips, handing the second one to Jungkook as the younger took hold of the lighter that hung around his neck and lighting his cigarette before handing it to Yoongi, eyebrows quirked slightly and Yoongi hit him on the shoulder playfully.The cigarette disappeared from his lips so quickly, and Yoongi briefly wondered if he dropped it. Twisting his head, he catches sight of Hoseok smirking at him, cigarette held between his teeth, and Yoongi didn’t have time to register the sight before a lollipop was stuffed into his mouth.His first thought was ‘what the fuck,’ but he sucked on it gently and smiled at the taste before turning to Hoseok and smiling. “Strawberry? Really?”Hoseok just shrugged, smirk still present. “You say you like strawberry.”“I do. I like your face more though.”“Fucker.”
Headlights, on me, racing to sixty, I’ve been a fool, but strawberries and cigarettes…
Always taste like
Hoseok doesn’t scream like a girl. He never had. But the undignified noises he was making were less than manly.“Slow down, we’re going to die!” Yoongi was laughing, only stepping on the gas as they shot forward again, Hoseok holding on to his seat for dear life.He was going to die. That was it. They were going to go spiraling into hell. Hoseok’s eyes glued themselves to the screen on the dashboard, watching as the miles per hour meter went up. Higher and higher, forty, fifty, sixty, seventy.Hoseok was screaming at the top of his lungs but he couldn’t hear himself over the pounding of his own heart. One of Yoongi’s hands dropped from the wheel and went to caress Hoseok’s as he shook.“Hey, you only live once, let’s enjoy this.”The window shot open and Hoseok yelped as a shot of cold air hit him in the face, blasting him backward and plastering him to the seat.His vision was white as he finally allowed himself to laugh, stuck in a car Yoongi ‘borrowed’ and ‘would return’ later.
Blue eyes, black jeans, lighters and candy, I’ve been a fool, but strawberries and cigarettes…
Always taste like you.
They say he tells the truth. They say he lies. Yoongi had never denied nor confirmed the accusations made against him, leaving Hoseok to wonder how much of a stretch was it from the truth?Hoseok would’ve asked Yoongi himself, but Yoongi may have stretched the truths himself, to points where they weren’t lies, but drifting metaphors, playing themselves off as memories in the inner workings of his mind, yet those so-called ‘memories’ were wrapped over a dozen layers of complexity.Hoseok could ask Yoongi for the truth.But if you ask Min Yoongi for the truth, he’ll tell you that he’s met fallen angels inside of shattered stars that were forgotten in the crevices and corners of the universe.If you asked Min Yoongi what he saw, he would’ve told you that he’s seen the skies split and the ocean part.If you asked Min Yoongi where he’s been, he would tell you that he’s been to heaven and hell both.If you ask Min Yoongi what he wants, he’ll tell you that he wants to spread music with messages no one was ready to hear.If you ask Min Yoongi what he likes, he’ll tell you about sunsets and strawberries and cigarettes on rooftops.If you asked Min Yoongi what the ink on his body means, he would tell you he’s met god in a tattoo parlor in Daegu.Not falsehoods or untruths. Memories so vague, it’s a miracle that they weren’t forgotten. They were just resting pasts that drifted to the flow of the breeze in his mind.But if you asked Min Yoongi where he got the bruise on his cheek, he would just grin through the pain before saying that the opponent looked worse.But if you asked Min Yoongi what he’s done, he’ll just say that he’s swimming in Jupiter’s storm.If you ask Min Yoongi what he’s hiding, he would turn away and tell you that life is a bitch sometimes.And when you ask Min Yoongi if he’s okay, he won’t respond.And the silence was truthful enough for Hoseok to know the answer.If you ask Min Yoongi again, he’ll say that being okay was overrated, because anything less than that becomes disappointing.But Min Yoongi lies sometimes.Hoseok liked to believe he knew Yoongi, and he did, for the most part. But when he left, all Hoseok could do is cry every time the taste of strawberries stained his mouth, and he couldn’t smoke without thinking of those hands all over his skin.
Remember when you taught me fate? Said it’d all be worth the wait. Like that night in the back of the cab, when your fingers walked in my hand...
“Is that how fate works?”“Yeah. You’re a good kid, Gwangju. It’ll get you places. You’ll go far.”“It’s all hell. I feel like I have nothing to live for anymore.”“You’ll find it, I know you will.” He pressed their lips together in a chaste kiss and Hoseok giggled, pressing back for a moment.“How do you know?”“We all do.”Hoseok shivered slightly as he felt Yoongi’s fingers tracing his hand, drawing a picture in invisible ink. “Hey.”“Hey.”“My parents are home.”“Then you’ll have to be quiet.” The cab driver coughs loudly and Hoseok turns bright red as Yoongi laughs softly, fingers still curled around Hoseok’s hand.They stumbled through the door with Yoongi on him instantly, like he was trying to devour him whole. Hoseok gasped loudly as Yoongi grabbed his ass before shoving Yoongi towards the staircase and they scrambled up into the safety of Hoseok’s room.One shirt fell on the floor, then two, and the mood died promptly with the sight of patterned black and blue bruises down Yoongi’s pasty white chest.“What the fuck are these?”Yoongi looked quite shocked with himself momentarily before raising an eyebrow. “What, a few bruises going to turn you off?”“These aren’t just bruises, you were fucking beaten up?”Yoongi had the decency to look slightly ashamed as he stared at the floor. “It’s not a big deal, it was my fault anyway.”“Yoongi…”“What?” Shame turned to irritation as the defensiveness seeped through his skin a filled the air with something dark.“Yoongi, you don’t tell me anything, what the fuck are these?”“Babe, you know I can’t tell you.”“You can’t tell me, you don’t trust me enough!” Yoongi’s eyes narrowed into slits but Hoseok stood straight, refusing to back down and be quiet. “I’m your fucking boyfriend, Yoongi, you can’t bother to tell me where you go during class, after school, when you randomly disappear without even shooting me a text?”Yoongi’s face contorted oddly at the mention of the word ‘boyfriend.’ “I was trying to protect you!”“I’m not a fucking damsel in distress! Nor am I just some toy you play around with when you get bored, you fucking asshole!”“I’m sorry for wanting you to be safe!”“I don’t want to be safe, Yoongi, I want you to be safe!”“I can’t tell you! Why can’t you accept that?” They were both yelling, and Hoseok didn’t have the mind to remember that his parents are downstairs. The walls were thick, it would be fine.“You’ve told the other guys! How does Jungkook know, Taehyung, Jin? You fucking told them, but you can’t tell me?”“I told them because they needed to know!”“And I don’t?”“No, you fucking don’t!”“Why?”Yoongi’s hands were clenched into fists, and he almost looked comical with wide eyes and skin red. He laughs maniacally, cruelly. “Want to pretend you’re special, Gwangju? Well, guess what? You’re not! I don’t owe you shit! You want me to, what, confess my undying love and adoration for you? You’re not special! Stop pretending I owe you anything when you’re nothing but a fling to pass time!”Hoseok’s jaw was hanging open and hot tears were streaming down his face and blinding his vision so he couldn’t see the instant guilt and remorse that crossed Yoongi’s face.“Wait, Hos--”“Is that all I am to you? An easy fuck?”“No, of course you’re not, I--”“Get out.”“I’m sorry, I don--”Hoseok was seething, his voice steady and low as he tilted his head towards the window. “When I tell you to get out of my house, you’re going to get out of my house, Yoongi.”Yoongi looked so small, so scared as he gave Hoseok one last look before grabbing a random shirt from the ground as sliding out the window. Hoseok didn’t check to see if he landed safely, slamming the window shut before collapsing against the bed and cursing himself. For letting him be so stupid, so in love, in love with someone like Yoongi. He meant nothing to Yoongi.
Next day nothing on my phone, but I can still smell you on my clothes. I was hoping that things would change, but we went right back to your games.
Hoseok was more than a little disappointed when he woke up to no new messages on his phone, no updates, no missed calls. It hurt. But the truth hurt sometimes. It wasn’t like he expected Yoongi to text him. It really wasn’t. It was what he wanted, but not what he expected. Because even if he didn’t know Yoongi, he did.A few hours later and he was in an cab riding the lie that he told his parents about going to the library to head to the boys’ hideout, pushing open the broken door again to find Taehyung sitting on the table in the mlody kitchen area, Jungkook placed between his legs as Taehyung blew a breath of white smoke into his mouth, eyes sliding over to him indifferently before moving back to watch the smoke run it’s path.“What’s up, Hobi?” Jungkook pulled away, turning to Hoseok and shooting him a grin.“I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say you’re here for Yoongi.” Hoseok nodded, tangling a hand in his own hair, looking around, slightly frustrated.“Where is he?”Taehyung grunted, not moving from the table. “Got no clue, texted Joon a while back, should be getting here around now, he’ll know.”So Hoseok pulled out a chair, bouncing his leg impatiently as he sat, waiting for the door to open and for Namjoon or Yoongi to walk through the door and tell him everything’s okay.After fifteen minutes, it was Namjoon who pushed open the doors again, Jimin trailing behind before splitting to go with the youngest and second youngest as the disappeared into one of the back rooms, leaving Hoseok with Namjoon. Namjoon was looking at him, as if expecting him to ask. Hoseok was supposed to ask, but in the back of his mind, he knew the answer to his own question.He took a big breath. “Where’s Yoongi?”Namjoon sighed at him sympathetically. “Don’t know, Hobi. I’m sorry. He texted at three in the morning saying he’s gonna disappear for a week or so, told us to stay safe and he’ll be back soon.”Hoseok wasn’t surprised. Just a little miffed and a little disheartened.
And even if I run away, and give my heart a holiday, still strawberries and cigarettes always taste like you
A week passed, and still not a lick or hair of Yoongi. No texts, no calls. No taps on his window at four in the morning.Two weeks.Three, and Namjoon and Jin went out to look for him.A month and he was still gone.Two, and Hoseok missed him.Three months, and he was losing hope.Four, and Taehyung thought he was dead.Five, and Jimin thought he was dead too.Six months and Jungkook and Hoseok cry together over memories.Seven, and Hoseok was slowly trying to forget. But he couldn't.A year and Hoseok still has a worn out pack of cigarettes, the first pack Yoongi gave him.A year, and Hoseok can’t look at strawberries without thinking of mint green hair.
You always leave me wanting more, I can't shake my hunger for
And Hoseok’s here. On the same rooftop in the middle of summer where reality can’t find him. He’s clutching a bag of strawberries tightly in his hand and staring at the sunrise as if expecting the sun to explode and spill its blood all over the sky.He wants to look at the text one more time, but he doesn’t.Hoseok’s completed his first year in college. Told his parents to go fuck themselves and majored in dance. Got a position as an assistant teacher. Roomed with Namjoon on campus.Built a new life without Yoongi in it and yet sometimes at one am when he can’t sleep, yeah, he’ll think of Yoongi. And wonder where he was. Where he is. If he went back to Daegu, or is dead somewhere in a dump.But he’s not, and Hoseok recognizes the deep rumble as soon as he hears it.“Hey Gwangju. It’s been a while.”Hoseok turns around, and he can’t keep the smile off of his face. “It has.”“I… assume you want to know where I was?”“It’s not up to me. You don’t owe me anything anymore, Yoongi. That’s your choice.”The name rolls off his tongue so naturally, so familiarly. It’s Yoongi, in the flesh. His hair is black now, and it suits him. His face looks brighter and his eye bags have disappeared. He’s wearing clothes that don’t look more than a few months old and Hoseok’s happy. Because Yoongi has seemed to find his place on earth. Hoseok doesn’t care that he left because fate guided him to a place where he could find himself.Hoseok missed him. He holds out the bag of chocolate-covered strawberries out awkwardly, coughing as he does so.“Do, do you still like strawberries?”Yoongi smirks and Hoseok thinks it’s been too long. “I love them.”“I missed you.”“I know.”“I loved you.”“I never stopped.”“I thought you wouldn’t come back.”“I did.”
Strawberries and cigarettes, always taste like you.