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Bruce didn’t know what Thor had planned until it was too late- or rather, what Thor had planned and left to Loki to write.
See, Thor had decided that getting the Asgardians to put on a play about how Bruce had come to be Thor’s husband, and a king of Asgard.
Alright, seems fine enough,
you might say.
But of course Thor left it up to Loki to write said play.
Which led to this moment- but let’s backtrack a little, to the start of the play.
Bruce had been led by Thor into a theatre, into the best seats there, where he sat next to Thor and looked down expectantly onto the stage, unsure of what would happen next.
The curtain raised, and an eloquently dressed Asgardian smiled broadly to the crowd.
“Greetings, and what a glorious day it is! Today, we will tell the tale of our magnificent king, Thor, God of Thunder, and his stunningly beautiful husband, Bruce Banner of Midgard.”
A very enthusiastic round of applause and cheering met the narrator’s words.
Thor leaned over to Bruce. “He speaks the truth. You are stunningly beautiful.”
Before Bruce could reply, the stage darkened as actors got into position, and a single spotlight hit the stage, the only other light on the narrator in the corner of the stage.
The actor on stage was obviously Thor, but when he had his long hair.
“Thor, a young god, was foolish and impatient, which resulted in him being stripped of his powers and sent to Midgard for the first time. Since then, he returned many times, often to help the Avengers. From the moment he saw the mortal man Bruce, he knew something about him was different,” the narrator’s rang out across the stage.
“Something about him is different!” exclaimed the actor Thor, pointing at actor Bruce.
“But after the events of Sokovia, Bruce went missing. This caused Thor to be greatly devastated.”
“I am greatly devastated!” pronounced actor Thor, walking across the stage to stand in front of a set that was obviously supposed to represent Sakaar.
“When the greatly ignorant Loki-” A balled up piece of paper, obviously thrown by Loki, hit the narrator in the face, who glared in the direction of the god. “-accidentally led Hela to Asgard, the two were sent hurtling down to Sakaar, where Thor found Bruce once again.”
“I have found Bruce once again!” exclaimed actor Thor, putting an arm around actor Bruce’s shoulders.
“Together, they left behind Sakaar, and the leader of it, whom Loki had somewhat questionably gained the favour of.”
Another balled up piece of paper hit the narrator’s face, and another glare was sent in Loki’s direction.
“On the way to deliver Bruce home to Midgard, the two fell in love, and spent a lot of time together, including doing things that would be best unmentioned.”
“The pain! The pleasure!” shouted actor Thor.
Bruce, from his place in the audience, hid his face in the armrest of his chair.
“Maybe it was a mistake to let Loki write this play,” Thor mused from above Bruce.
“You
think
?”
“The two bid each other goodbye after they reached Midgard, but couldn’t keep themselves apart from one another. Soon enough, the two ended up married.”
Actor Thor kissed Actor Bruce, then loudly pronounced, “We are married!”
“The mystery of exactly how Loki gained favour on Sakaar-” This time, a small rock hit the narrator. “-Was never solved, but Asgard gained its amazing king, Bruce.”
The play ended, and despite himself, Bruce applauded.
It was at that moment that Loki himself decided to come over to Thor and Bruce.
“So, what’d you think of the play?”
After exchanging a look, Bruce pushed himself to his feet.
“You have five seconds to run before I let the other guy out.”