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Jeon Jungkook was gay.

Deep down, in the depths of his subconscious, he was aware of his love for men but the dear soul, influenced by years of prejudice, suppressed his feelings and this had never been a problem seeing as his “straight-by-default” mindset had never particularly been swayed.

Sure, he would often find himself disinterested in women, being able to appreciate their beauty but never wanting to take it any further than aesthetic adoration. However he would often catch himself in the midst of steamy fantasies of men (which he never indulged in) but he was 19 years old, his hormones were raging, it was normal right? Sure, Kook, sure.
Of course, the boy had his suspicions and often found himself thinking about sexuality but he never really paid much attention to it even though his eyes would often times wander in the direction of the most attractive male in room, but that didn’t mean anything . It was normal. Jungkook told himself.
Yes, yes… the boy was in denial.
And seeing as he had been homeschooled for most of his life, Jungkook had never really had moments where his sexuality would come into the picture as his social interaction was fairly limited and any chance of him going out and meeting a boy was diminished due to the fact that he was introverted and rarely went out. He had never had an earth shattering moment where everything he was certain of was thrown into a blender until he laid eyes on Kim Taehyung of course.
Kim Taehyung was gay.
He had known it since he was 11 when the only person he seemed to take an interest in was Byun Baekhyun. And he wasn’t just gay in theory. No, Kim Taehyung was a practising homosexual who at the young age of 21 had new lovers every couple of months.
Rainbow badges were pinned to ever jacket he owned, his social media was plastered with pictures of Harvey Milk, Marsha P. Johnson and Elton John. He even put up pictures of himself with his boyfriends (which he promptly deleted following the break up of course).
Kim Taehyung was gay. And he was obviously proud of it - even his mum knew about it.
In addition to being gay, Taehyung was also a major flirt and a few feet away from him stood a certain Jeon Jungkook who he was very interested in getting to know.
Jungkook

Jungkook had just left his mum to enter the dorms and through the glass doors of the building he could still see her waving at him. He was going to miss his mother and her harebrained ways.
As he had left the home, after a detached phone call from his father who had obviously been unable to attend his farewell for university, his mother had warned him against buying drugs.
“Alright, sweetheart,” Jungkook’s mother had said, “Call every week, your father and I have filled up your bank account so feel free to buy what you want - but no drugs !
She was crazy and she was too easily excited but he had spent the last nineteen years of his life with her and her extravagant ways would be missed.
Alright, let’s do this. Jungkook thought to himself, mouthing encouragements under his breath as an attempt to calm his hammering heart.
He walked to the front desk where the students were standing in a line to get the keys to their rooms.
“Hi!” the R.A beamed brightly as Jungkook’s turn finally arrived, “Your name please?”
“Uh, Jeon Jungkook.” He replied softly, trying to give the R.A. what he thought was a smile but actually turned out to look like a pained grimace.
“Jeon Jungkook,” he said, the air of professionalism not wavering once despite Jungkook’s unfortunate awkwardness and he consulted the list of names he had in front of him, “Oh great, room 407 and you’re rooming with Park Jimin.”
Jungkook nodded and uttered a soft thanks, before making his way to the elevator and to his new room.
He leaned against the mirror that lined the back wall of the elevator, he was nervous. In the mirrored walls of the elevator he could see his scared expression looking back at him and it increased the anxiety that was wreaking havoc to his mind. He could feel the tension building in his shoulders and flexing his muscles taut did not ease the anxiety.
The elevator seemed to move up at the slowest pace, and Jungkook wasn’t even claustrophobic but at that moment he felt his hands clam up - he was so nervous he felt nauseated.
It was his first time away from his parents - well, in honesty, his mum, seeing as his father was usually never home - and straight from being a sheltered homeschooled kid he had willingly opted to live with a complete stranger for college.
He mentally slapped himself for not taking up his mother’s offer to stay in an apartment. Jungkook wasn’t phobic against social interaction, his mother had dinner parties every weekend - and sometimes he had to admit he even had some fun - but he was bad with new people. And his crippling shyness never helped the situation.
Before he could dwell any further on his inner turmoil, the elevator doors pinged open to reveal the hallway that was was scattered with students looking for their dorms but since each floor only had eight rooms, it wasn’t that crowded and for that Jungkook was glad. He thanked his stars for letting his mum choose one of the more expensive and exclusive dorms in the campus rather than listen to his incessant begging of letting him live an authentic college life and live in the economical dorms.
Jungkook stepped out of the elevator with his suitcases and bags in tow and slowly walked to the further end of the hallway. Upon reaching the door marked 407, he could barely handle the key card to open the door from how much his palms were sweating. After five seconds of awkward fumbling, he finally managed to insert the key card and open the door to be met with a loud cheer.
“WELCOME TO YOUR DORM!” the person from the other side of the door shouted.
Jungkook felt his soul leave his body as he stumbled backwards and nearly tripped on his suitcase. He nearly shrieked in fear but managed to check himself as he leaned on the threshold for support.
What the fuck just happened?
“Good job, Hobi, thanks for nearly killing my roommate before he even entered the room.” The other person present in the room dead panned. Jungkook assumed this was Park Jimin, then who was the over excitable person that nearly gave him a heart attack.
“ Oh, crap, I am so sorry,” the person said, rushing forward to help Jungkook. “I’m sorry, I really didn’t mean to scare you,” the person who wasn’t Park Jimin said.
“It’s okay… I just - I wasn’t expecting that.” Jungkook said weakly, obviously still shaken by the shock he had just received.
The boy beamed, crinkles forming at the corner of his eyes. “Okay, cool, hi, i’m Hoseok.” He said, offering Jungkook his hand. “And that is your roommate, Park Jimin.”
His new roommate gave him a smile and a small wave, “Hello, roomie,”
Jungkook dropped the bag he held in his right hand, to shake Hoseok’s hand, Firm hand shakes were important, that’s what his father had always drilled into him since he was a young boy, “Jeon Jungkook.”
At that, Hoseok’s eyes widened. “Holy shit! As in Jeon, son of Jeon Si-mok, Jeon? Like, owner of one of the biggest industries in Korea Jeon?
Fuck. Fuck. Jungkook thought. And here, he thought he could live a normal life. “Uh, I guess.”
Hoseok’s eyebrows shot up, and he started bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet, “Damn, isn’t your dad like a billionaire?”
Jungkook felt his insides twist into an uncomfortable knot, he was hoping to spend his days in college away from his father’s shadow at least
Upon noticing Jungkook’s obvious discomfort, Jimin walked over to the pair from his bed, “Hobi, stop, come on, the kid just got here, leave him alone.”
Jungkook smiled gratefully at Jimin who gave him a small wink.
At this, Hoseok smacked both his hands against his face, “Ah hell, I’m sorry, I just got excited.” It seemed his excitement was illimited.
Jungkook shrugged, completely at a loss for words, “Oh that’s… okay.”
Hoseok grinned again and proceeded to help Jungkook with his bags.
“Alright, Jungkook,” Jimin said, putting his hands on his hips after the bags had been put on Jungkook’s bed. “I have a very important question to ask you.”
“Okay,” Jungkook said, eyes on the blond haired boy. The two boys seemed to be the antithesis of who he was, having met him five minutes ago, there was no stilted or awkward interaction among their part - unlike Jungkook who was currently running the possible questions Jimin could ask him through his mind.
Why does he even have to ask me questions?
“Are you in anyway or form homophobic because I am as queer as a three dollar bill and if you are then it’s best we request for new roommates for both our sake.” Jimin said matter of factly looking Jungkook straight in the eye.
Jungkook was taken aback by the sudden candour, unable to speak for a solid three seconds.
“Oh shit, he’s homophobic,” Hoseok said gravely, instinctively coming in between Jimin and Jungkook as if to protect him.
Jungkook blinked rapidly, “What? No! I’m not!” He said in a panic, “I’m okay with gay people.”Jimin and Hoseok looked at each other and smiled, “You should have no problem rooming with Jimin then.” Hoseok said, slinging his arm around Jungkook’s shoulders.“Where are we going again, hyung?” Jungkook asked, fiddling with the collar of his shirt.
“Our friend’s apartment,” Jimin said, fixing Jungkook’s hair that stood out awkwardly at the back of his head.
“Are you sure it’s okay if I go too?” Jungkook asked, feeling like his very heart was going to jump out of his chest at how nervous he was. He wasn’t even sure how Jimin and Hoseok had managed to get him out of the dorm room. One minute he was perspiring sweat equivalent to the Pacific Ocean from sheer nervousness and here he was on his way to meet complete strangers.
Hobi flung his arm around Jungkook, “Of course it is! We are your hyungs Kook, it is our job to introduce you to new people, get you out of that little shell you seem to love living in like some socio-phobic crab - holy crap, you’re not by some chance a Cancer are you?” He said all of this in one breath.
Honestly what even? Jungkook thought.
“No, I’m a Virgo.” Jungkook said. He was glad for Hoseok’s extroversion and Jimin’s friendliness, it helped counter his shy nature but, he had been in his dorm for two hours and they were already taking him out with them. And he had agreed to go out with them which was the most surprising fact of all. A few hours at college and Jungkook was a changed man? Preposterous.
“Are you a virgin though?” Hoseok asked as if discussing the state of the weather.
Jungkook choked on air. What the fuck
“ Jesus Christ, Hobi, do you want the poor guy to run screaming in the opposite direction.” Jimin groaned, not surprised at his friend’s lack of a verbal filter, “but hey, if you are in need of some action, I have an entire phone book of men and women for you to choose from.” Jimin said, giving Jungkook a devious smile.
“I LIKE WOMEN!” Jungkook blurted in a panic, feeling the hair on the back of his neck stand on end.
Jimin shrugged casually, “No one said you didn’t?”
Fuckity fucking fuck of all fuck ups. He couldn’t even respond to Jimin.
“We’re heeeeeere!” Hoseok squealed, leading Jungkook into an apartment complex where Hoseok and Jimin’s friends named Namjoon and Seokjin shared an apartment together.
As they took the elevator up to the fifth floor where the apartment was, Jungkook was suddenly seized with panic, “Are your friends gonna freak out over my dad like Hoseok did?”
“No, we’re not as socially inept as him” Jimin said, placing a reassuring hand on Jungkook’s shoulder.
Jungkook couldn’t help but grin, he was really starting to like his new found friends.Hoseok knocked at the door of the apartment, shouting, “OPEN UP FUCKERS JIHOPE HAS ARRIVED!”
“Jihope?” Jungkook asked Jimin.
Jimin smiled at this, “Oh, it’s like a combination of both our names, easier to say y’know? We have one for all our friends. It’s just something I came up with.”
Jungkook nodded, his lips forming a perfect ‘o’.
With Hoseok still shouting at his friends for them to open the door, Jungkook nearly wanted to tell him to stop - the other tenants in the building could surely hear right?
The door suddenly swung open, “Are you fucking dying, seriously, the fuck is wrong with you?” The person asked, clearly annoyed.
The first thing Jungkook registered about the person who opened the door was that he was startlingly pale, his skin was nearly milky white. His dark brown hair stood in stark contrast against his skin, making him look nearly ephemeral.
“YOOOOONGI!” Hoseok shouted entering the apartment with Jimin and Jungkook in tow.
The boy named Yoongi only furrowed his brow and sighed as he closed the door. “Jesus, can you shut up for three minutes please?” His gaze shifted to Jimin and he smiled, the air of exasperation he held for Hoseok, completely dissipating as he saw him, “Chim chim,”
“Hey, hyung” Jimin said, his voice discernibly dropping an octave lower. He cleared his throat and gestured to Jungkook, “This is Jeon Jungkook, he’s my new roommate.”
Yoongi switched his intense gaze onto Jungkook, assessing him from head to toe, his lips lifted into what Jungkook was guessing was a smile (I mean… he could also want to punch Jungkook in the face? Who knows). “Min Yoongi,” He finally said and nodded at Jungkook. The youngest boy nearly shot up in the air with joy. Yoongi didn’t comment on his surname.
Jungkook offered him a small smile, “Hi,”
Hoseok led the trio as they walked to the living room where three boys were sprawled out on the couch, with one of the boys who had dark hair laying his head on another boy with blond hair, Jungkook would have found the sight adorable, except for the fact that the third boy existed.
He was sitting on the far end of the couch, engaged in a game of Overwatch, concentrating intensely on the screen.
Holy fucking fuck shit fucker fuck.
He was probably the most beautiful boy Jungkook had ever seen, he had dark grey hair that was long enough to be a mullet and a sharp jawline that complimented his well defined features. Everything about him was captivating.
What the fuck? Is it even legal to be that beautiful? Jungkook thought to himself.
“Hello Mom, Dad!” Hoseok said cheerfully to the two boys lying together on the couch.
The duo looked up from the laptop they were watching a movie on, “Who is this?” the dark haired one asked, gesturing to Jungkook.
“Oh, this is my roommate, Jungkook, and this is Jin hyung,” Jimin said pointing at the dark haired boy, “And that is his boyfriend, Namjoon hyung.” He pointed at the blond.
Jungkook gave a small wave, “Hello.”
"And the asshole playing Overwatch,” Jimin continued after Jin and Namjoon shook Jungkook’s hand, “is Taehyung.” He said before shouting to get Taehyung’s attention.
Taehyung looked up expectedly. “Huh, what?”
"Meet my new roommate,” Jimin said, pushing Jungkook forward.
Jungkook couldn’t breathe. He could not frickin breathe. What was he supposed to say? Why was he so nervous? Why couldn’t he stop his heart from beating so fast? What.
Taehyung paused the game and got up smoothly, throwing the controls to the side, “Hi, I’m Taehyung.”
What was my name again?
“-and this is Jungkook,” Jimin finally said when Jungkook didn’t respond. “Say hi, Jungkook.” He teased, taking Jungkook’s hand and making him shake Taehyung’s hand. “He’s shy.” Jimin said to Taehyung.
When Jungkook’s hand touched Taehyung’s, he could swear he felt his entire being transcend onto a higher plane of existence. “Fuck, shit,” Jungkook finally said, when Taehyung squeezed his hand, “I’m not good with new people, I’m Jungkook, fuck I’m - hi.”
Taehyung raised one eyebrow, “So are you Jungkook or Not-good-with-new-people?”
Jungkook turned into a puddle right there and then. “Both apparently.” He replied, trying not let his nerves get the best of him.
Taehyung laughed, a loud clear laugh… and Jungkook nearly imploded from the sound. “Uh, where is the bathroom?” He asked abruptly, unable to handle the situation any longer.
Go down, the hall way, it’s the second door to your left.” Jimin said, clearly seeing the thin sheen of perspiration forming on Jungkook’s skin.
"Thanks,” Jungkook said quickly before rushing to the bathroom and locking the door behind him.
WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED KOOK?
Jungkook was sweating like a sinner in church. And he couldn’t understand why. Well he knew he wasn’t the best when it came to meeting new people but he wasn’t this bad. His hair was sticking to his forehead from how much he was perspiring, his heart was beating so fast he actually felt light headed. He didn’t know what the hell was happening to him.
And every time he thought of Taehyung, he felt a jolt in his stomach.
What was happening to him? He couldn’t understand it. It was probably just the nerves of meeting six new people in one day, Jungkook rationalised. He was just nervous because they were new people. It wasn’t Taehyung, it was everyone. It’s normal. Jungkook thought to himself.
Lord, get a grip on yourself Kook.
It had been a long day, he was just nervous to start a whole new chapter in his life. He told himself. And chuckled slightly, as he realised how stupid he had acted.
I mean, this was how every straight boy felt after seeing other beautiful boys for the first time.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Jungkook

Jungkook was exhausted, his Economics lecture had stretched on for two hours immediately followed by a Mathematics lecture that made him want to gouge his eyes out with a spoon. It was two weeks into college and he was already drained. His entire life revolved around solving for x and the production possibility curve and the demanding task of maintaining a relatively healthy diet was nearly too daunting. However, being who he was it did not dissuade him from satisfying his implacable yet unconscious desire to make his father happy.Isn’t that why he had opted to be an Economics major to take charge of his father’s company in his stead rather than become a dance major as he so craved to be?So there he was hunched over a Maths textbook, having had nothing the entire day save for a donut he had bought from a Dunkin’ Donuts and he was starving. But he absolutely had to digest what they had learned in the past week because he was lost.His neck was aching, his fingers were numb from how many theorems he had penned down. And everything felt futile, he was so overworked he could barely comprehend what he was trying to learn. Throwing his pen in defeat, he leaned against the back of the chair and stared at the lights that hung above his head, if he could just close his eyes for a couple of minutes…Just as he allowed himself to rest his strained eyes, a shadow blocked the light.Jungkook got up in a start, to find Taehyung staring down at him, with a smile on his face.“Hi,” He said brightly, smiling down at Jungkook. His grey hair hung forward and he bent down so that the tips of it nearly brushed Jungkook’s face, “you look like you need a break.”Jungkook felt the spasmodic little flutters that crowded his gut whenever they were close and he sat up with a start, “Oh hey, Taehyung.” His voice came out cracked. For the love of all things good. He cleared his throat. “Hi,”Taehyung was close enough to Jungkook that he could get the scent of cologne and coffee off of him and it was enough to stop the neuropathic relays in his brain.However, Taehyung seemed oblivious to Jungkook’s turmoil and took the chair next to him, looking at the various textbooks that Jungkook had in front of him, “Maths?”Jungkook nodded and looked down, he could barely look at Taehyung for longer than five seconds without feeling his face heat up.He had on grey contacts today and Jungkook was at a loss for words. Taehyung had seemed to achieve some new level of surreal beauty that Jungkook had thought impossible for one man to possess.The other boy scrunched his nose up and Jungkook felt little flames flicker in his heart, “It’s never been for me,” Taehyung said, flipping through the pages, “Ugh, I hate Maths.”Jungkook chuckled at his clear distaste in the subject, “It’s not that bad,” Taehyung only raised his eyebrow at Jungkook in response, “What do you major in, by the way?” Jungkook asked, pretending as if he hadn’t already asked Jimin. It was stupid, Jungkook realised but he wanted to keep the conversation going.“I, my man, am a drama major,” Taehyung said, a smug smile on his face, “which basically means I’m done for today and you’re coming with me.”Jungkook barely had time to grab his bag before Taehyung took his arm and dragged him out of the library. He could swear his entire arm was buzzing with the electricity he always felt when Taehyung touched him. Was it just in his head?“Hyung!” Jungkook exclaimed, “My books are still back there!”“It’s okay! Just come take them tomorrow.” The older boy replied nonchalantly. His devil may care attitude made Jungkook’s heart flutter in anticipation.“Where are we, uh, going?” Jungkook asked, barely able to breathe properly. He couldn’t handle the close proximity to Taehyung even though he wasn’t exactly sure why he was always so on edge in the other boys presence.“I need to buy some stuff and like I don’t wanna go alone.” He explained, “I called Jimin but he’s at Namjin’s and he said your classes ended like four hours ago so I’m going with you blah blah blah,”“But, first I’m buying you dinner because I know you’re probably, like, starving.” Taehyung said matter of factly.All the while Taehyung’s hand was still on Jungkook’s wrist. And Jungkook was experiencing heart palpitations to the ignorance of the one causing said heart palpitations. Taehyung was taking him out for dinner and Jungkook could not fathom his feelings.
Why am I feeling like this? Get a fucking grip Kook.
Jungkook was feeling all sorts of conflicting emotions - Taehyung was a boy, so why did his heart beat so fast whenever he was near? Was he just so starved of proper social interaction with people his age that he didn’t know how to handle actually experiencing it? Jungkook rationalised this must be it.“Jimin said you’re into performing?” Taehyung asked as he single handedly dialled for an Uber while dragging Jungkook behind him.
He talks to Jimin about me?
“ Well, yeah,
I practice some dancing with Jimin in their dance studio sometimes and he mentioned how you dance too.” DID I JUST SAY THAT OUTLOUD?!? If it weren’t for the fact that it was night time, Taehyung would have seen Jungkook assume an alarming shade of crimson.“Oh, I just do it when I have time, to de-stress or whatever,” Jungkook gushed out, “You, uh, you dance?” He quickly asked, eager to shift the attention off of him.Taehyung finally released Jungkook’s arm as he stopped in front of him and spun in a circle, “Performance of any and all sort is what I live for, well, except maybe for like voyeurism.”Jungkook choked on air. What the fuck even. The other boy continued completely unaware of Jungkook dying next to him, “You should join us, Jimin teaches me some stuff on the weekends when I’m free.”“Uh, okay, yeah.” Jungkook said, slightly taken aback by the invitation, but glad nonetheless.A black car pulled over next to them, “Kim Taehyung?” The driver called out.“God, I love Über.” Taehyung said before he again latched his hand to Jungkook’s wrist and dragged him inside the car.
“And that,” Taehyung finished, with a flourish of his hand, “is how I told my family I was gay when I was 13.”Jungkook could only look at Taehyung in amazement as he had recounted the story of how he had come out. Jungkook could barely even contemplate the amount of courage that would take. But as he usually did, Taehyung never ceased to amaze Jungkook. It seemed as though each time he talked to Taehyung, every conversation sought to further amplify the fascination Jungkook had in his person.Jungkook had therefore found himself spending more and more time with Taehyung as the days and weeks passed by. Most of the time, it was with the rest of group but more often than not, Jungkook found himself alone with Taehyung and he couldn’t even complain. He loved being around Taehyung, his vibrant energy never failed to lure Jungkook out of his introversion and Taehyung's very existence made Jungkook's life a good percentage more interesting (and not to mention confusing) and Jungkook could listen to him for hours on end. His ever present self confidence was intoxicating, it was like watching a performance on stage except none of the acting was fake in this instance.Taehyung made the stress of college dissipate with his unequivocal authenticity and the uproarious antics that seemed ever present in his wake and in this Jungkook always seemed to seek refuge in. “That’s amazing,” Jungkook finally said, unable to find the words to express just how much admiration he held for Taehyung at that moment being a soft spoken person himself who never once caused much stir in the veneer of serenity in his home.The older boy moved up on the couch so that he could rest his head on Jungkook’s chest. “I’m pretty fucking amazing, Kook,” He grabbed the remote off of Jungkook’s hand and unpaused the movie.He cleared his throat to ignore the buzz that ran along his hand which had brushed against Taehyung's, “I cannot believe you paused the movie just so you could tell me how you came out.” Jungkook chuckled barely even able to concentrate on the movie what with Taehyung laying his head down on his chest.“When you have something important to say Kook,” Taehyung said, “you say it, like, the moment the thought crosses your head.”Jungkook snorted, “And, uh, what philosopher said this?”“Kim Taehyung.” came the response from the older boy, in all seriousness.Watching Love, Simon with Taehyung proceeded to be rather uneventful, which Jungkook was grateful for, as the older boy’s head on his chest was enough for little flickers of desire to erupt deep in his belly. They were nearing the end of the movie and Jungkook was glad he hadn’t done anything embarrassing as he often found himself doing in Taehyung’s presence.So their movie was uneventful, that is, until Taehyung decided to grab his phone.And this was an inherently innocent act except for the fact that it sat on the side table next to the sofa and in order to get it he had to stretch across the sofa and as he did, his shirt hiked up to reveal his toned abdomen and the tell tale sign of a happy trail beginning not far from his belly button.Jungkook felt all the blood in his body rush downward. He couldn’t breathe, the entire room seemed to spin sideways as an eruption of nervous desire flared in his belly as he realised that Taehyung’s bare back was pressed against his thigh. A deep ache resounded from the depths of his belly making his abdominal muscles contract.
Fuck.
He got up in a panicked haste, a disgruntled Taehyung nearly falling off the couch in his wake. With a quick explanation of having to use the bathroom, Jungkook rushed to its confines and locked the door behind him.He had escaped Taehyung. Now all he had to do was tame his raging boner.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Taehyung
“IF YOU SAY JUDGING IN GUCCI ONE MORE TIME KIM TAEHYUNG-“What?” Taehyung interrupted, “Are you gonna hit me in Gucci, hyung?”His question was followed by a loud smack across his head by an irate Min Yoongi who had donned a black robe with a black veil that he could pull over his face to fully assume the facade of a Dementor - or as Hoseok had guessed, Yoongi’s true face.“Motherfuck— what was that for?” Taehyung pouted, nursing his head.The trio were currently in Namjoon and Jin’s apartment, and Yoongi was pitching a fight against Taehyung for using “Gucci” in nearly every other sentence.Taehyung turned to Hoseok for support but Hoseok could only watch in amusement as the two fought in front of him, “You kinda deserve it Tae tae.”Yoongi sat back on the couch, a satisfied smile on his face, “Fuckin’ sit or get hit.” He held his fist out for Hoseok. As their knuckles touched, Taehyung was overwhelmed with a wave of betrayal. He couldn’t believe a Dementor and a frickin’ skeleton were in cahoots together against him.“That’s not even a thing! ” Taehyung whined, fully aware he was fighting a losing battle but he had to stand his ground against the hyung’s onslaught. “I came out here to have a good time, and I’m honestly feeling so attacked right now.”“Kids, calm down,” Namjoon said walking towards the trio on the couch dressed in a costume so unlike his usual sober style even Taehyung was amazed - well it was Halloween anyway. He’d donned a pair of black slacks with a thin white shirt that he had tucked in (the top buttons were left open - Seokjin’s doing obviously). He had partnered up the outfit with a silver embellished black belt around his waist and leather boots. His blond hair was slicked back to reveal his undercut yet tousled enough to make it appear effortless - “A WHOLE ASS SNACK!” Taehyung shouted. “Hey! THAT’S MY HUSBAND YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT!” came the equally loud response from the bedroom.“Homo Prince Eric!” Hoseok shouted nearly spilling his drink as he cheered Namjoon along.“I have arrived, my loyal subjects,” Namjoon said with a flourish of his hand.Yoongi chuckled lightly, “Where’s the princess?”“Jin is still perfecting his costume.” Namjoon replied, taking a swig of Yoongi’s drink much to the latter’s protests.“Wait, if you’re Homo Eric then who is Jin going as?” Hoseok began before he was interrupted by the aforementioned man.“HOMOOOOO CHARMING OBVI!!!” came the response from one Kim Seokjin who had worn a white blazer adorned with gold tassels and trim, velvet cuffs and edging gave the outfit an extravagant flair - not that the decorative medals he had stuck on the breast pocket or the gold ropes that hung across his chest couldn’t have gotten that point across.“Holy shit-“I know, I know, I look amazing, you’re welcome.” Seokjin interrupted, standing next to Namjoon as Hoseok snapped pictures of the two on his phone.“Well I would watch the shit out of homo Eric and Charming.” Taehyung said, leaning back against the couch.Yoongi snorted, “The entire movie would be Namjoon monologuing over how beautiful Seokjin is while quoting Shakespeare or something with regular intervals of shameless self praise by Jin.”Jin stopped posing to give Yoongi a pointed stare, “You’re just jealous you’re not as beautiful as I am.”“Shameless self appraisal part one.” Yoongi deadpanned.Seokjin wrapped his arms around Namjoon’s neck, “The only man who could rival my beauty is Joonie.”“ANYWAY…” Yoongi interrupted, ignoring Jin and turning away from the couple who seemed very keen on displaying their affection. “What time is Jimin gonna coming here?”Taehyung would have screamed out “whipped gay” if he was sure Yoongi wouldn’t punch him straight across the face. So he settled for smirking and letting Hoseok - who had probably taken fifty photos of Namjoon and Seokjin - answer him instead.“Yeah, he’ll be here with Kook,”Taehyung felt his heart skip a beat at the mention of Jungkook. He hadn’t met the boy for over a week now since their movie night which - much to his dislike - had ended rather abruptly. Jungkook had been unable to hang out with the group much as the boy had two papers to finish for his classes and he had basically attached himself to his desk at the library. He had called Taehyung a couple of times throughout the week to mope and Taehyung had intently listened to the distressed Jungkook and had even managed to make him laugh once or twice (which he was obviously very proud of) - but it was not the same as actually being with the younger boy. Two months with him and he had become an integral part of Taehyung’s life, not that Taehyung minded anyway - just the nature of his role in Taehyung’s life was something Taehyung wanted to change.Now, he was aware of Jungkook’s supposed heterosexuality but he was also aware of how Jungkook would blush whenever in his presence or how he would always find a way to be in contact with Taehyung (think excessive man spreading on Jungkook’s part just so that their knees could touch without him having to shift in his seat). At first, Taehyung had thought he had been projecting his feelings for Jungkook and had therefore been imagining the various instances which had arisen out of a sense of sanguinuity but as Jungkook’s body kept betraying him, they did not fall on blind eyes. Moreover, there was the incident that had transpired a couple of weeks ago that Taehyung couldn’t get out of his head, a drunken encounter of course, but one that had completely convinced Taehyung. Not to mention, the subtle flirting the two always seemed to be engaged in, hell, even Namjoon had noticed it - but that could be owed to the fact that Namjoon was the most observant little shit alive, Taehyung thought.Regardless, Taehyung knew there was something between the two despite Jungkook’s claims of being “straight”. Taehyung blamed it on the generational straight-by-default brainwashing that was firmly ensconced in nearly every kid that grew up in a conservative household.Taehyung had been taking things slow, while he was never one to be ashamed of his sexuality, he could understand how this might affect others, especially Jungkook who had been brought up in a strict household with little interaction with people his age. But upon not having any physical contact with the boy for a week, he realised just how much he craved his touch.Suffice to say, Taehyung was glad he would finally get to meet Jungkook - he had missed him more than he cared to admit, to himself or otherwise. So there he was, a jumpy bundle of nerves, unable to engage in proper conversation with his friends from the sheer anticipation of finally meeting Jungkook.And when Jungkook had accepted Jin’s invitation to join them, Taehyung had felt his heart thrum with joy. Seokjin had been invited to a Halloween party by one of the other interning chefs at the restaurant and obviously the septet could not be separated, so all seven of the boys were invited by default. Taehyung had known that Jungkook would be going to the party as well but the gravity of the reality of actually getting to spend quality time with the younger boy was causing Taehyung to experience heart palpitations.Taehyung had realised from how often he found himself in Jungkook’s company that this act was fostering dependency on the other boy’s presence and this was something Taehyung sought to avoid for reasons too painful to discuss. Yet, a part of him told him that in this instance it would be alright to break his long enforced rule of being too attached or dependent on another person.Taehyung was truly bewildered as he had no idea what it was about the other boy that enticed him so. And there was no fear of distancing himself from Jungkook upon his realisation of his feelings for the younger of the two. To Taehyung if his feelings developed into something stronger than attraction, that was it.Maybe Jungkook is
changing that?Before Taehyung could contemplate his feelings any longer a loud knock sounded through the apartment. “THEY’RE HERE!” he shouted and jumped up from the couch.Yoongi raised one eyebrow at his exuberance but in all honesty Taehyung didn’t care. His feelings for Jungkook were a well established fact among the group (with Jungkook being the only one unaware of this) so he didn’t care if his friends saw the sheer excitement that washed over his face as he heard the knock.Before he could help himself, he had sprinted towards the door, pushing past Seokjin, “MOVE OUT OF THE WAY HYUNG!” Taehyung shouted, accompanied by louder shouting from Seokjin who held onto Namjoon’s sleeve to keep from falling backwards.Taehyung opened the door to be met with Jimin dressed as a fairy complete with a set of collapsible wings on his back, he had done a soft peach makeup look that Taehyung would have asked the tips to if Jungkook wasn’t standing right next to him.
No way in fucking hell.
He was dressed as Batman.“Holy shit.” Taehyung finally said.“YOU FUCKING PLANNED THIS! DIDN’T YOU?!?” Jimin shouted, stomping his foot - if it had been under any other circumstances Taehyung would have shouted “Fuckin’ dramatic twink.” But as it happened, the boy was too shocked to focus on anything but Jungkook.“No!” The boys in complementary costumes replied in unison.“We didn’t,” Taehyung continued, “but this proves we’re meant to be!” He sang before draping himself over Jungkook after he overcame his initial shock and as Taehyung had anticipated, Jungkook blushed a deep pink.Jungkook smiled self consciously, “I can’t believe you’re dressed as the Joker.” And to Taehyung’s immense joy, the boy’s hand snaked around his waist, drawing him closer. Taehyung grew decidedly giddy over the small act.“You’re both disgusting.” Jimin groaned before hitting them with his wand. Fuckin’ dramatic twink .The duo were attacked with accusations of having planned their costumes the moment the quartet laid their eyes on them.“I thought we had agreed that Joon and I would be the only ones to wear matching couple OUTFITS SO THAT WE COULD BE CUTEST!” Seokjin screeched, livid splotches of red forming on his cheeks as his voice grew shriller with every word. “YOU FUCKING TRAITORS!”Taehyung groaned in exasperation, he was indeed surrounded by dramatic gays, “We didn’t plan this!” And it was the truth, Taehyung and Jungkook hadn’t even discussed their costumes during the times they had talked on the phone or texted and it was as much a surprise to the both of them as it was to everyone else.However, Taehyung had to admit that he and Jungkook did look amazing. His own outfit had been carefully assorted to resemble the Joker’s to the T. He had spent months, raiding vintage stores, thrift shops and even Hoseok’s grandfather’s closet in order to find the perfect ensemble for his costume. He had obviously wanted to go for the classic look that Heath Ledger’s joker possessed and in his opinion he had succeeded. He had even curled his hair and used washable green hair dye to give himself the authentic Joker aesthetic. The only aspect of his costume that he had forgone was the shocking white face paint otherwise he had applied a liberal amount of eyeliner to his eyes and had drawn on a wonky smile with red lipstick.And Jungkook… Whoa. It took all of Taehyung’s self control not to outrightly stare. His Batman suit wasn’t a generic onesie that he could have bought off Amazon, it was intricately designed suit that was so detailed and well made that Taehyung guessed Jungkook must have spent an absurd amount of money on the suit. His chest and arms were covered by matte black plastic plates that were cut at specific points to allow for unrestricted movement so similar to Christian Bale’s actual suit that Taehyung was baffled. His mask hung on his belt but even from a distance Taehyung could tell it was well made - heck - it seemed to be tailored for Jungkook’s face.The very sight of Jungkook in front of him caused something in the depths of his belly to ache. His dark hair was ruffled to look casually indifferent, and the fucking suit. The. Suit. It sought to show off his well toned physique and he looked so steamily sexy that Taehyung could feel all his blood rush downward.
Holy fuck.
The only thing that made Taehyung feel better was how Yoongi was unable to take his eyes off of Jimin.
At the very least, he wasn't the only smitten one here.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Taehyung

The entire apartment was filled with sweaty bodies either dancing along to the blaring music or slowly losing their inhibitions with the help of alcohol. Now, one would think this was pretty standard for a Halloween party, except for the fact that Seokjin’s friend, Jongdae, had an apartment that stemmed an entire floor. It was easily the biggest and most extravagant party that Taehyung had ever been to.
He was aware that Jongdae was wealthy - from what Seokjin had told him, the other interns at the restaurant all came from rich families not unlike his friend except these boys liked to indulge in and exploit their families wealth so Taehyung had expected the apartment to reflect what Seokjin had often told him. However, Taehyung had severely underestimated the extent of their wealth due to Seokjin’s modesty when it came to money and a part of him had thought his colleagues would also adhere to a similar code of conduct. Boy, was he wrong.The entire apartment had been decorated with Jack O’ Lanterns that hug from the ceiling while strobing lights shown along with the beat of the music, cloth fashioned into webs hung from the ceiling and even the multitude of decorations were not enough to mask the grandeur of the apartment.Taehyung and Jungkook had managed to escape from Seokjin who was insistent on getting them to take all manner of photographs of him and Namjoon, “the two of you are the unofficial photographers of our group!” “TAE! KOOK! PLEASE GET A PICTURE OF ME ON JOON’S BACK!” However, with luck on their side, Seokjin had taken one too many tequila slammers and had resorted to wrapping his long limbs around Joon and refusing to let him go, “Joonie I’m Koala-Jin.”Hoseok had situated himself in the middle of the room and was waving his hands over his head as he jumped to the beat - completely oblivious to the fact that people had cleared out of his immediate vicinity to keep from being hit in the face with his moves. Namjoon and Seokjin were basically inseparable with the concerned Namjoon trying to get his boyfriend to take sips of water while balancing him on his back with one arm under Seokjin’s thigh. Yoongi and Jimin had basically morphed into one coherent being, what with Jimin having thrown his legs over Yoongi’s thighs while being so irrevocably immersed in a conversation of their own that they didn’t even notice the couple next to them whose make out session just stopped short of being pornographic. And that was when it hit him, Jungkook and himself had been left to their own devices.Upon making eye contact with Namjoon, the boy nodded at Taehyung, a knowing look in his eyes, “There roof will be empty.” He had simply said, but both of them knew what he meant.

Jungkook was drunk, Taehyung was sure of it. The boy could barely get a sentence out before falling into a fit of giggles and if he was being completely honest, Taehyung felt kind of guilty for being the cause behind Jungkook’s drunken stupor.

Taehyung had managed to steal an entire bottle of wine from the bar - and in his defence their host had said they were free to drink whatever they wanted - so in all technicality he hadn’t stolen the bottle but had merely obliged to the host’s request. However it did not dawn on him until Jungkook chugged half of the contents straight out of the bottle that maybe taking an

entire

bottle had been excessive. Because now here he was stuck with a very drunk Jungkook who had put his head on Taehyung’s shoulder while mindlessly playing with the elder boy’s fingers.
After his thirty seventh fit of laughter, Jungkook looked up at Taehyung, “You’re very beautiful, Tae,” Jungkook’s voice was soft as if the edges had been rounded and smoothed.Taehyung was completely taken aback by the sudden declaration. This wasn’t the first time a boy had called him beautiful and usually Taehyung would respond with a nonchalant wink that usually preceded a month long relationship that would end the minute the tension fizzled, but this time - it was Jungkook.Jungkook, the boy who blushed everytime Taehyung so much as stood next to him, the boy who listened to Taehyung rant for an hour when his vile aunt sent him a pamphlet on overcoming his homosexual urges. The boy who brought Taehyung japchae whenever his classes ran later than usual. It was Jeon frickin’ Jungkook. “Uh, thank you, Kookie..” Taehyung finally said, surprised at how calm his voice sounded.“No!” Jungkook said forcefully, shaking his head in vigour, “I am a man and I think that you are beautiful!” He said and cupped Taehyung’s face in his hands, “So beautiful.”
“You are

really

drunk.” Taehyung said, taking Jungkook’s own face in his hands.
“And you’re so beautiful.” Jungkook said softly, staring straight into Taehyung’s eyes.Taehyung didn’t know what came over him. He felt a rush of heat radiate through his whole body as Jungkook held his face in his hands. Maybe it was the way Jungkook’s eyes would go out of focus despite him trying to constantly trying to keep his eyes on Taehyung. Maybe it was how soft Jungkook’s skin was, or the way his lips were glistening slightly from the alcohol that he had drank. Maybe it was that the very warmth of his existence was enough to steady the remains of Taehyung’s tumultuous existence. Or it could be that Taehyung was a thirsty hoe and Jungkook had muscles to spare and he wanted in so bad on that action.Maybe it was a culmination of all of those reasons, but Taehyung leaned forward to close the distance between their faces, and pressed his lips against Jungkook’s own.Jungkook pulling away slightly from Taehyung, “Your lips are so soft.”Taehyung ran his fingers through Jungkook’s hair, “You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do this.” He said before he drew Jungkook in with his left hand around his neck as his right hand rested softly on his chest. He lightly pressed his lips against Jungkook’s.For a second, Taehyung couldn’t breathe from fear that Jungkook would push him away and that would be the demise of their friendship, but just as Taehyung was going to pull away, the younger boy threw his arms around Taehyung’s neck, pulling him closer.

Holy shit. Is this really happening?

Taehyung ran his tongue lightly over Jungkook’s lips, they were soft and slightly sweet, an alluring mix of alcohol and cherry lip balm - it was absolutely intoxicating. The older boy felt his breath hitch in his throat, he had wanted to kiss Jungkook ever since he first saw him. The way his tongue would flick out of his mouth to lick his lip when he was nervous, made him want to push him up against a wall so he could enjoy the wonder that was Jungkook. Taehyung couldn’t even count the number of times he would wake up from a dream a about Jungkook, the boy had completely consumed his mind when he was conscious and he had now found his way into his dreams as well. And finally, here he was, kissing him as if his life depended on it.He found himself moaning into Jungkook’s mouth as the younger boy ran his hands down Taehyung’s back, being touched by Jungkook was electrifying, it made every single fibre in his body feel alive as if jolted to life from a deep slumber. He had obviously imagined numerous times how it would feel like to kiss Jungkook or to touch him and all of his wildest fantasies paled in comparison to the actually feeling. Taehyung was losing his mind.Any hesitance that Taehyung would have expected was completely hidden under the confident facade that alcohol had given Jungkook. Taehyung knew he had never been romantically involved with anyone let alone been intimate with them, and while his movements were a little bit too eager, Taehyung found it only further increased his desire to have Jungkook be wholly his.The neurons in his brain were firing at a rate that was too fast for his mind to comprehend. And in that moment, only Jungkook and himself were alive in the world. It was only Jungkook’s arms around his waist drawing him closer, it was his own arms wrapped around the other boy’s neck. It was the heat of Jungkook’s skin under his palms, and the rapid beat of his pulse - so strong he felt it in the tips of his fingers.It was strange being completely numb to everything but Jungkook’s body flush against his. It was the intensity of each emotion that he felt with such clarity and it was too much to handle but Taehyung never wanted to stop.He pulled away slightly to catch his breath and realised he had been holding it.“Tae…” Jungkook moaned softly when their lips parted, “more… please.”And in that moment, Taehyung lost all form of self control, he threw his leg over Jungkook’s thighs so that he was straddling him, and pushed the younger boy on the ground. “I want you so bad, Kook.” He ran his hand down Jungkook’s body, earning a little whimper from the younger boy. How he didn’t rip Jungkook’s costume apart in that moment was beyond him.Taehyung gasped in surprise when Jungkook placed his hand on the older boy’s ass and drew him closer, so close that Taehyung could feel Jungkook’s hard member against his thigh. There was no doubt in Taehyung’s mind that Jungkook wanted this as much as he did. In his surprise from having Jungkook squeeze his ass Taehyung’s lips parted slightly and Jungkook seized his opportunity by sliding his tongue into Taehyung’s mouth.Their hands found each other, interlocking their finger tightly, Taehyung held Jungkook’s hands above his head as he trailed kisses down Jungkook’s chin,his jawline,his neck,Jungkook’s body shuddered under him and his hips jerked upwards involuntarily as Taehyung found the sweet spot that was at the junction between his clavicle and his neck. His moans which had started off being soft had progressed to loud and uninhibited groans that made a deep ache stir in Taehyung’s navel.Just as Taehyung deft fingers travelled further downward, the door to the roof swun open and a flustered Namjoon appeared, his perfectly coiffed hair had become a complete mess.“Holy shit!” Taehyung heard and nearly jumped in terror.“Joon!” He shouted, getting up from his position over Jungkook. “Get the fuck out.”Namjoon ignored Taehyung and grabbed his arm instead, “we need to leave!”Taehyung wanted to scream as Namjoon helped Jungkook up and dragged both of them towards the exit.“Namjoon. WHAT THE FUCK.” Taehyung resisted against Namjoon.“KIM TAEHYUNG, JIN DROPPED A FUCKING DRACULA SCULPTURE ON YOONGI’S TOES. THEY ARE FUCKING BROKEN WE NEED TO GO TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM NOW.” Namjoon shouted, holding Taehyung tightly by his shoulders.“How even-Taehyung began, but was cut short by Namjoon taking both him and Jungkook by their arms and leading them away from the roof.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Jungkook

His body was pliant under Taehyung’s skilled touch, every response as sharp as the emotion he felt as the older explored his body which was underneath him.

“What do you want me to do, Kook?” Taehyung growled as he nibbled on his earlobe and proceeded to lightly trace soft kisses along his neck. Jungkook swallowed, his entire body had been wound up tight, every muscle begging for release and the tension was nearly palpable. “I want you to touch me… please.”

Taehyung released a guttural moan at Jungkook’s words and pressed his long fingers to the boy’s clavicle. “Where do you want me to touch you, baby?” His lips followed where his fingers trailed.

Before he could respond, Taehyung captured Jungkook’s lips in a kiss, tugging at his bottom lip with his teeth, making the younger boy moan wantonly, he brought his arms up to Taehyung’s waist, feeling the contours of his body and his heaving chest under the thin shirt he donned.

Taehyung pulled back abruptly, and took Jungkook’s wrists, holding them firmly above his head with one hand, “Did I say you could touch me?”

Jungkook felt his breath hitch in his throat, Taehyung’s eyes were dark with desire as he stared down at Jungkook and his already deep voice had lowered an octave, hovering dangerously close to being a growl.

Taehyung brought his free hand to Jungkook’s face, making the boy look up as he cupped his cheeks, “Answer me.” He commanded.

Jungkook’s mouth was dry as he struggled to find his words, trying to fight against the intense arousal that was coursing through his body, “No… no, I’m - I’m sorry.”

With a slight scoff, he released Jungkook’s wrists and instead started unbuttoning his shirt - slowly. He took his time with each button, making the boy underneath him writhe in frustration.

“Please, Tae…” Jungkook begged, he wanted to feel Taehyung’s skin against his own. He wanted Taehyung to know the effect he had on his body. The way a simple touch could cause Jungkook’s heart to accelerate or the way a simple graze of his lips against his neck could cause his body to shudder from the insurmountable pleasure he felt just at the

thought

of Taehyung near him.

Taehyung was on top of him, straddling his hips and he was taking his time with Jungkook. He knew Taehyung wanted this as much as he did from the stiff member he felt against his hip bone, but the amount of restraint Taehyung was showing was more than what Jungkook could even dream of possessing.

Jungkook wasn’t sure what came over him, but he knew he had to do something to get Taehyung to quicken his pace, he was torturing Jungkook at this point with his movements - so slow and deliberate - so fucking slow. So he did what every single instinct in his body urged him to do, he brought his hand to his bulge and palmed himself through his jeans and his knuckles grazed against Taehyung’s clothed cock. Taehyung stilled his action on Jungkook’s shirt and opened his mouth to reprimand him.

“Daddy.” Jungkook moaned before Taehyung could say anything, “Daddy, please. Touch. Me.”

Before he could fathom what was happening he felt Taehyung press his hand against his throat as his lips swallowed around his own, he squeezed Jungkook’s hand harshly in turn making him grip his erection tightly. Jungkook hissed as a heady stream of pleasure and pain pulsed through his entire body - every nerve ending overwhelmed. He moaned into Taehyung’s mouth causing the older boy to tighten his grip around his throat.

“Moan louder for me, baby. Moan louder for daddy.” Taehyung gasped out between kisses as he loosened his grip around Jungkook’s neck and ran his skilled fingers down the younger boy’s body instead, finding their way to the tent on Jungkook’s jeans.

His hips jerked upwards into Taehyung’s hand and an involuntary moan escaped his parted lips, Taehyung took this opportunity to explore Jungkook’s mouth with his tongue. Hot, sweet and wet. It made every nerve in Taehyung’s body explode.

“Fuck, Kook…” Taehyung hissed, “Fuck.” His deft fingers quickly found the zipper of Jungkook’s pants and he palmed the younger boy through his boxers, chuckling slightly, “Already so wet for me, baby?”

Jungkook only moaned in response, just feeling Taehyung touch him through the thin cotton of his boxers felt like an explosion of ecstasy. This time, Taehyung wasted no time and Jungkook was sprung free of the confines of his underwear. He squirmed under Taehyung when the older boy grabbed his throbbing cock in his hand and begun stroking it languidly, taking his time running his hand over Jungkook’s length.

His breath was coming out in quick, sharp gasps, “Feels so good, Tae.”

Taehyung chuckled and scooted further down the bed so he was no longer straddling Jungkook, He trailed down his sculpted abdomen leaving hot and wet kisses along the golden skin. Jungkook was starting to tremble under him as he kept up the slow strokes on his cock.

Jungkook’s eyes were closed as he lost himself in Taehyung’s ministrations, the pleasure almost unbearable that his eyes rolled into the back of his head as he felt Taehyung lips enclose the tip of his cock.

“What the- ” Jungkook stuttered out as Taehyung’s tongue licked the underside of his cock, his tongue flat against his length. “Tae…”

“You like that baby?” Taehyung asked, pulling his head back and slowly taking Jungkook’s cock in inch by inch.

“Tae… how… FUCK!” Jungkook hissed as he felt the tip of his cock hit the back of Taehyung’s throat. The older boy’s body shuddered as he fought his gag reflex and Jungkook could have died right there from Taehyung’s mouth.

It felt so good. It felt so fucking good. Every sensation he felt, was too much for Jungkook to handle, it was like he was being ripped apart and remade into a new person.

His breathing was starting to become laboured as Taehyung continued to work his mouth on his cock, his legs were starting to shake, the tension building up so intensely, Jungkook felt like a spring.

He could barely keep still under Taehyung’s hands, his vision was getting blurry as waves of pleasure rolled over his body again and again and again.

“Baby,” Taehyung said softly as he palmed Jungkook’s balls, “Baby, come for daddy.”

His body was wound so tight from the tension that had been building up since he had first seen Taehyung, that the sight of his pink lips wrapped around his dick, the slickness of his mouth, the way his tongue grazed Jungkook’s perineum, his voice, his fucking voice was enough to drive him over the edge and in a white blinding explosion of ecstasy, Jungkook’s entire body shuddered as he came into Taehyung’s mouth.

Jungkook awoke in a start, his forehead wet with perspiration, his legs felt like jelly and his chest was heaving as he tried to make sense of his surroundings.

Where the fuck am I? What the fuck.

He quickly shot up in bed and in the soft glow that came from the light outside his window, he could make out the sleeping form of Jimin.

I’m in my dorm room. Of course, I’m in my fucking dorm room. Did I think I was in

his

room? WITH HIM?

He felt the sweat on the back of his neck run cold as the drowsiness he felt was tamped down by an almost overwhelming sense of panic “Fuck,” he hissed loudly as he felt a warm stickiness between his thighs. A deep ache resonated from the depths of his belly as he recalled the particulars of his dream - or more importantly, his dream’s subject.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK? I just had a fucking wet dream of fucking Taehyung.

He quickly shot up to his feet, the room starting to tilt on its axis as the blood rushed to his head. He grabbed a towel and a clean pair of boxers and ran to the bathroom, eager to wash the remnants of his dream from his body and dispose of his soiled boxers but not even the steaming hot water from the shower could alleviate the panic and confusion Jungkook was feeling as he tried to brainstorm what the fuck was happening to him.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Taehyung

“Alright,” Namjoon, continued as he took a sip of his coffee, “so you know how there’s the perennial cry to ‘save planet earth’ and it’s strange if you think about it. Because, like, the earth has literally survived massive asteroid strikes - so it can take whatever you throw at it. But life -

life

- on earth will not.”

Taehyung wasn’t sure how this conversation even began - one minute, Hoseok was telling him about a book called The Vegetarian and the next Yoongi told them about a vegan throwing red paint on him when he had donned a leather jacket and then Namjoon started talking about his Green Earth society and now they were discussing the semantics of phrases.
Hoseok clicked his tongue, “Okay, but ‘Preserve the stable environment in which life on earth may develop and thrive’ really doesn’t sound cool.”
Laughter broke out among the group, “Namjoon hyung,” Taehyung began, “if you are going to overthink catch phrases like ‘save planet earth’, you’re going to have an aneurysm by the time you’re thirty-two.” He looked at Namjoon expectedly, “Just saying, as your dongsaeng.”

“Shut up, Tae.” Namjoon bristled, “Jin thought it was an adroit observation and said he gets turned on by how much of deep thinker I am.”

“You guys are disgusting.” Yoongi grimaced.

Taehyung nodded in agreement, “At least you didn’t have to take seven thousand pictures of them while they made out as Homo Eric and Charming.” Taehyung shuddered, having a flashback of the absurd amount of kissing the couple had engaged in at Jongdae’s Halloween party.

“It is not our fault we are two attractive men in love with each other!” Namjoon replied indignantly.

“Speaking of your lover, when is he going to get here?” Yoongi asked.

Namjoon chuckled lightly, “Oh, he’ll be here in a while, he’s bringing you filet mignon and tiramisu.”

Taehyung could only shake his head as he laughed along with his friends. Over the past few days, in penance, Seokjin had been showering Yoongi with all manner of gifts and food to make up for breaking his toes.

“Not that he doesn’t deserve it,” Hoseok began, “but how long are you gonna abuse the guilt card because I’m getting used to eating gourmet meals every night. FOR. FREE.”

“Well until my toes completely heal, which should be around three to four weeks,” Yoongi replied with a devious smile to which the roommates bumped fists to.

The knock at the door alerted Taehyung, “Is that Jin?”

Namjoon shook his head, “Nah, he gets off in another fifteen minutes, can’t be him.”

Before Namjoon could finish his sentence, Taehyung was on his feet, running towards the door.

Jungkook is heeeeeeere!

He could barely contain his excitement as he unlocked the door and turned the knob.

“Kookie!” he shouted, his wide boxy smile plastered on his face.

Jungkook only nodded slightly. “Hey, Taehyung.”

Um, what the fuck?

Thinking maybe Jungkook was just shy

,

he tried another tactic, he pulled the two boys into a hug, Jimin reciprocated instantly, squeezing Taehyung’s waist but Taehyung could feel Jungkook stiffen under him.

Seriously what in the everliving fuck?

Jimin cleared his throat and threw his arm around Taehyung, “Hello, best friend. Is the food here yet?”

Taehyung wrapped his arm around Jimin’s waist as Jungkook closed the door behind him. “Nope, but mum will be here soon with

filet mignon.”

Taehyung said with an exaggerated French accent.

“Nice.” Jimin nodded with a smile, hugging Taehyung against his chest much to the chagrin of the boy walking behind them.

Jungkook had barely met his eye, let alone talked to him the entire thirty minutes that he had been there. And Taehyung was starting to get nervous. Two days ago his heated hands had been pressed against Taehyung’s ass and now he could barely even stand within an arm’s length of him.

When Jin arrived with the food, Taehyung found himself standing next to Jungkook, who had been preoccupied with fixing himself up a plate but quickly scurried off to the opposite corner of the room, neglecting to take any meat upon noticing Taehyung’s proximity to him.

He tried, to the best of his ability, to not let it affect him, but he couldn’t help a cold sinking feeling to radiate from his chest, weighing him down like wet clothes. Jungkook was perfectly amiable with everyone - laughing at Namjoon’s jokes, even flossing with Hoseok when Yoongi started playing songs. The more rational side of his brain did fight against the impulsive and intrusive thoughts of Jungkook ignoring him but at the same time Jungkook was being rather blatant - well it was blatant to Taehyung who was used to the boy’s affection and proximity.

Jungkook and Jin started bickering over which Marvel movie to watch and when Jin won with a round of rock, paper, scissors Jungkook mock tackled the older boy.

“We’re watching Thor: Ragnarok and there’s nothing you can do about it, brat!” Jin shouted as Jungkook wrapped his arms around his waist, and he would have thrown him on the couch if an injured Yoongi wasn’t sitting on the side with the extended seat. A strong, nearly choking jealousy wrapped like a vice around Taehyung’s chest upon seeing his interactions with his friends, it was starting to eat him alive. He was so accustomed to being affectionate with Jungkook that the absence of it nearly felt

wrong

to Taehyung.

Namjoon raised an eyebrow quizzically at Taehyung upon noticing Jungkook’s behaviour to which Taehyung merely shrugged, he was just as confused. Namjoon pursed his lips as he noticed Taehyung’s downcast expression. Taehyung shook his head, “I’m okay.” He mouthed.

As the movie started, Jimin walked over from his near constant position next to Yoongi and came to the couch, squeezing himself in between Taehyung and the arm rest, having to resort to throwing his legs over Taehyung’s thighs to sit comfortably.

“Why do you look so glum?” He asked, poking Taehyung’s cheek with his finger playfully.

“No reason Jiminie, I just have a slight headache is all.” Taehyung managed to force a smile, lying through his teeth.

Jimin nodded, Taehyung could tell from his friend’s pursed lips that he didn’t buy what he had said but he was glad when Jimin merely nodded, wrapping a comforting hand around Taehyung’s shoulders.

As the movie played on, Taehyung couldn’t help but steal side glances at Jungkook who was sat on the recliner - or as far from Taehyung as he could possibly be. During their movie nights, it was almost an unspoken agreement that Jungkook would be in the exact position that Taehyung was in and Taehyung would be on the floor sitting between Jungkook’s legs.

“I’m just gonna go to the loo,” Taehyung said, feeling the discomfort like a weight around his chest - he needed to be alone.

He nudged Jimin’s knee and hastily walked to the bathroom. He slammed the door shut behind him as he felt a wave of nausea overcome his senses. He could feel his eyes starting to tear up, as he placed his hands on the door as a means of support. Taking a deep breath, he walked over to the sink, turning on the tap and holding his wrist under the cold water. Taehyung couldn’t understand why this was affecting him so much - he didn’t understand why he was so upset and disappointed over Jungkook’s cold behaviour. He splashed some cold water on his face and held his hands to his heated neck, trying to collect himself.

“It’s fine, Tae.” He reassured himself in the mirror, “It’s okay. You are not going to let Jeon Jungkook mess with you.”

He nodded to himself, still wary of his actual coping skills but opened the door to the bathroom anyway. Just as he swung the door open, he immediately stepped into someone’s way running straight into the person’s chest.

“Jungkook,” Taehyung exclaimed surprised,

“Tae,” The other boy, said equally just as taken aback.

In the awkward fumbling moment between the two, Taehyung didn’t know what came over him, or what part of his brain decided it was a good idea but before he could even rationalise the impulse, he had pulled Jungkook into the bathroom, swiftly locking the door and situated himself between the them.

Jungkook could only stare at Taehyung with wide eyes as he looked pointedly at Jungkook with his arms crossed over his chest.

“Okay, so what the fuck, Kook?” Taehyung began, raising one eyebrow at the younger boy. “What the fuck is up with you?”

Taehyung noticed Jungkook clam up, as he wrung his fingers together in front of him, pulling the sleeves of his hoodie, uncomfortable as he stood in front of Taehyung. “Nothing’s up with me.” He said softly.

The older boy scoffed, taking a step forward, “Bullshit.” It was true that Jungkook was bigger than him, more muscular and slightly taller but in that moment Jungkook seemed to shrink in front of Taehyung who was suddenly towering over him. “That’s complete fucking bullshit, Kook, we both know it is.”

Jungkook took in a deep breath, “What do you want me to say then?”

“Why the hell are you ignoring me?” Taehyung nearly shouted but quickly regretted it when Jungkook flinched, shrinking back. “Fuck, I’m sorry. I just…” Taehyung inhaled slowly, trying to keep his voice steady, “You barely talked to me, you didn’t even look at me Kook. And I get it, it’s really fucking stupid for me to feel like this, but it hurts.” He turned away from Jungkook, feeling tears prick his eyes.

Jungkook took a few steps forward so he stood directly behind Taehyung, “Tae tae, I’m sorry, I’m just… I don’t know what I’m feeling.”

Taehyung turned around and found his face, mere inches away from Jungkook’s. “What you’re feeling?”

The younger boy only sighed and leaned against the sink, he held his hand out and found Taehyung’s, squeezing it lightly, “I - Ugh, Tae tae, I don’t know what I’m feeling for you.”

Taehyung took a step forward, closing the distance between them, “Because of what happened at the party?” He placed his finger under Jungkook’s chin bringing the boy’s eyes level to his. Jungkook’s wide doe eyes glistened slightly and Taehyung could feel his chest ache at the sight.

“Yeah…” Jungkook said softly as he nuzzled his cheek against Taehyung hand.

“Kookie, it’s okay.” Taehyung said as he leaned forward closing the distance between their faces and pressed his lips against Jungkook’s. The younger boy moaned inadvertently, his hands immediately coming to Taehyung’s lower back, pulling him in closer. But just as quickly as he had responded to the kiss, he suddenly stiffened under Taehyung’s touch and turned his head, breaking the kiss.

“Stop,” He gasped out, “This is… it’s a mistake. I don’t like -

“Fucking hell!” Taehyung screeched, not even letting Jungkook finish his sentence, he was suddenly livid and all remnants of rationality that he had formerly possessed was extinguished. He balled his fists at his side, he could feel his neck heating up from all the pent up anger.

Jungkook shook his head, “No… I’m - I am straight! I don’t like boys.”

The older of the two scoffed and shoved Jungkook so that he had him pinned between his body and the wall next to the sink, “Stop lying to yourself.”

He could feel Jungkook swallow, “What -

Taehyung traced one finger lightly along Jungkook’s chest, “Tell me you haven’t thought about our kiss from the party.” He ran his finger down Jungkook’s arm and took his hand in his own. “Tell me you haven’t wondered what it would feel like to kiss me again, my lips, my neck.” Taehyung took Jungkook’s hand and put it against his own chest, “Tell me, Kook, tell me you haven’t thought about how it would feel like to touch me.”

He placed a soft kiss to the boy’s lips and felt Jungkook pucker his lips under Taehyung’s own. He took both of Jungkook’s hands and held them above his head as he dived in for another kiss but was roughly shoved back before he could get any closer.

He grasped the sink to steady himself, looking up at Jungkook with hurt evident in his eyes.

“NO!” Jungkook nearly shouted. His chest was heaving as he unlocked the door and swung it open, “I’m - I’m straight!” Jungkook managed to stutter out.
And before Taehyung could say anything, Jungkook was off, followed by a loud slam of the front door.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Jungkook

“Jungkook!” Namjoon bellowed from the other end of the phone, “Why did you leave? Where are you?”Jungkook could hear the other boys with Namjoon trying to speak into the phone, bombarding him with questions of his whereabouts. “I’m sorry, hyung. I had, uh, I have a thing I need to get to.”“At eight o’ clock at night? On a Sunday?” Jungkook could hear the incredulity drip from Namjoon’s voice but he was too shaken to give the older boy a convincing lie.“Yeah, it’s important. I need to go.” He managed to say, quickly hanging up the call before Namjoon could say anymore.He stuffed his phone into the pocket of his jacket and made off into a run down the sidewalk of Yoongi and Hoseok’s apartment, not caring where he was going.Jungkook didn’t like Taehyung.Well, not in that way anyway.But he couldn’t ignore the rush of warmth that coursed through his body whenever Taehyung so much as touched his arm. But he was straight. So why was it that he could feel his heart beat in his fingertips when Taehyung was near him? Why did his eyes always gravitate to the older boy as if he were a magnet? What was he even feeling?
No, I don’t fucking like him for fuck’s sake. I’m not gay! I can’t be gay.
Just the mere thought of the consequences of him deviating from heterosexuality made a shiver go down his spine.He shook his head to clear his thoughts.Jungkook had left Yoongi and Hoseok’s apartment and had taken off in a run. Not knowing where he was going but all he knew was that he needed to escape from Taehyung. He couldn’t be with him. He couldn’t continue to feel the things he had been feeling.His heart was pounding in his chest and his breath was coming out in shallow gasps from the intensity of his run but at least it wasn’t from the way Taehyung’s eyes had bore into his own, making him lose all semblance of composure.
“Tell me, Kook, tell me you haven’t thought about how it would feel like to touch me.”
It was that voice. That husky full bodied tone of his that made a weird ache reverberate from the depths of his belly. The way he had said his name with that glimmer of hunger in his eyes when he had Jungkook cornered. It was driving Jungkook mad just thinking about it because he should have felt repulsed at Taehyung’s proximity to him, but he didn’t.When Taehyung had cornered him in Yoongi’s bathroom and had kissed him, he could feel every nerve in his body light up in excitement and eagerness. He had wanted to feel Taehyung’s hand against him, touching him in a way he had a never been touch. Not that he understood it at the moment, but Jungkook had run away from Taehyung not because he didn’t want to kiss him but because he wanted it too much. And that was too much for Jungkook to comprehend.He had run back all the way to the college dorms that he stayed in and he realised then that all he wanted to do was get into bed and have a good cry.He entered the building, not bothering that he had bumped into several shoulders in his haste to get to his dorm room. When the doors slid shut, he leaned against the back wall and put his head into his hands, wanting to scream.
I don’t like Taehyung. I don’t fucking like Taehyung. I am not attracted to him for fuck’s sake.
Of course he found Taehyung attractive, but that was normal. Yet there was a part of him that shuddered at the thought of finding a boy attractive. He didn’t know where these feelings stemmed from, why it felt like his chest tightened at the mere realisation that he thought a boy was cute.
It’s because I am not fucking gay.
His phone was blowing up with messages from Jimin and he was so close to throwing it against the glass wall when suddenly an idea struck him.He opened his contacts and scrolled quickly through the list. And there it was, the name that stood just two alphabets above Taehyung’s.After tapping the call button, he impatiently waited for the person to pick up the phone.“Hello?” The voice spoke at the other end of the line. Her voice was soft and melodic.“Uh, Rose,” Jungkook cleared his throat, “hey, it’s, uh, it’s Jungkook.”“Oh my god!” Her voice cried from the other end, “Hi! I thought you’d never call me after two months.”He chuckled nervously, “Yeah, sorry, I’d been preoccupied.”“I’m so glad you called.” Jungkook could basically hear the excitement dripping from her smooth voice. “What’s up?”“So, uh, I thought I’d finally take you up on that date.” He managed to say. He was aware what it meant to call a girl on a weekend at nine o’clock at night, but that was exactly what he wanted. If he did it just to purge Taehyung from his thoughts of get rid of the taste of him in his mouth or the excitement in his chest whenever he thought of him, he didn’t know.He heard her gasp from the other end of the line. “Are you serious?”“Yeah, I’ll come pick you up in an hour. We can go to that diner that’s open all night.” He said before hanging up the phone.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Taehyung

Taehyung was overwhelmed with guilt. He couldn’t believe that he had let himself go the way he had. He shouldn’t have pushed Jungkook the way he did. But he had and now he had to suffer the consequences.

The numerous texts and voicemails he had left on Jungkook’s phone had probably reached three digit numbers but he didn’t care. Every minute he found free was a minute where he apologised to Jungkook, despite the lack of response from the other end.

“You fucking horny motherfucker.” He mumbled to himself, “I can’t believe you fucked it up fucker.”

Taehyung jumped when Hoseok suddenly appeared in front of him, immediately taking the seat next to Taehyung on the sofa. Hoseok was staring pointedly at him, “Dude. Did you just call yourself a horny motherfucker?” he asked, as he raised one eyebrow, his eyes flickering with amusement.

Taehyung pursed his lips and shrugged, “Maybe I did, maybe I didn’t.”

“You are anyway.” Hoseok deadpanned, taking Taehyung’s cup of coffee and taking a sip. He blanched in disgust upon the dark liquid hitting his lips, “Fuck, dude would it kill you to add some sugar to your coffee.”

“For fuck’s sake get your own fucking coffee. I didn’t add sugar to it, because it’s

my

coffee. MINE.” Taehyung grabbed the cup from Hoseok’s hands.

“Jeez, dude you need some good dick.” Hoseok shook his head, “By the way has Jeon Good Dick called you?”

Taehyung sighed and leaned his head against Hoseok’s shoulder, failing to find it in him to laugh at Hoseok’s attempt to alleviate his mood. “No and he’s not answering calls either.”

Hoseok squeezed Taehyung’s shoulder sympathetically, foregoing his precious approach of using humour and instead offering support, “Ah, it’s okay, he’s barely talked to any of us. But seriously, don’t worry about it, he’ll come around.”

As much as Taehyung wanted to talk

to

Jungkook he didn’t particular want to talk

about

Jungkook. He felt guilty for how pervasively insistent he had been. He should have known better than to push him. But he had thought Jungkook wanted the same. He had kissed him back hadn’t he?

Taehyung wasn’t sure what it was, there was any concrete reason that he had ascertained for as to why he was feeling the rejection so intensely, except that maybe he had fallen harder for Jungkook than he thought he had. It wasn’t surprising for him, seeing as from the moment they had met, the duo had clicked, almost immediately gravitating towards each other as if drawn by some unknown force. There was a quiet comfort Taehyung found in Jungkook’s presence, like a warm blanket in a cold night. Which was why Jungkook’s cold shoulder hurt him all the more, but he only had himself to blame.

Taehyung cleared his throat, “Did Jimin get the food yet?” He asked, eager to get his thoughts off of Jungkook.

Hoseok nodded, “Yeah, and then we can watch Train to Busan till we’re all a sobbing mess.”

Taehyung smiled slightly. “I need a good cry.” He leaned his head against Hoseok’s shoulder, closing his eyes but was abruptly shaken awake by Hoseok’s phone vibrating.

“Hello, Chim chim, you coming yet?” Hoseok asked, his face shining with a brilliant smile. However, upon hearing Jimin speak, the smile disappeared from his face, replaced by an expression that Taehyung couldn’t quite decipher.

“What?” Taehyung asked, pursing his lips together, “He forgot the food didn’t he?”

Hoseok cleared his throat and hung up the phone. His lack of response was making Taehyung nervous. He nudged Hoseok’s arm, “Dude, seriously, what’s up?”

Hoseok threw money on the table and grabbed Taehyung’s hand, “We should go now, Jimin’s just around the block.”

Taehyung resisted against Hoseok’s pull, “Dude, what the fuck, what’s wrong?”

“Taehyung. We need to go now.” The urgency in Hoseok’s tone was making Taehyung uneasy.

What could have happened?

Taehyung being obstinate, stood his ground, “Hobi, I’m not going anywhere until you tell me what Jimin said.”

“Jesus fucking Christ Kim Taehyung why are you so difficult?” Hoseok hissed, tightening his grip on Taehyung’s arm.

Before Taehyung could retort, he felt Hoseok stiffen next to him. “What?” He followed Hoseok’s eyes behind him and felt his heart flip in his chest cavity.

It was Jungkook.

And he wasn’t alone.

A girl was next to him, her hand clasped in his.

Wait, what the fucking fuck?

“Hobi?” He heard Jungkook say, the surprise evident in his tone.

“Kook, hey!” Hoseok greeted, the desperate and pleading tone having disappeared. “My dongsaeng!” Hoseok called out, nearly tackling Jungkook, “I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever, man.”

“Sorry, hyung, I just had to finish some stuff.” He explained, trying to escape from Hoseok’s embrace.

Finish some stuff. My fucking god. At least lie better.

“So, are you gonna introduce her?” Hoseok finally asked, gesturing towards the girl who stood next to Jungkook.
Taehyung wanted to disappear. He wanted everything to stop.

No no no no no no please no.

“Oh, right,” Jungkook stepped aside and cleared his throat, “This is Rose,”

No please for the love of all things good. Please-

“

She’s my girlfriend,” Jungkook finished.

The entire room seemed to tilt on its axis, his breath was starting to come out in short gasps.

He has a girlfriend.

Taehyung barely registered the introduction and small talk. All he could do was stand there staring into space, ire growing in the pit of his belly like a cancer.
“Tae,” Hoseok said softly, laying his hand on Taehyung’s shoulders. Taehyung looked up to find Rose looking at him unexpectedly.

“Hi,” she said, her voice soft and sweet - Taehyung resented her. “I’m Rose.”
He cleared his throat and walked forward, an unctuous smile plastered on his face, “What’s up, I’m Taehyung.”
She clasped her hands in front of her chest and beamed, “I’m so glad I finally get to meet the infamous hyungs, Kookie has told me so much about you.”

She was pretty, with an oval face that was framed with auburn hair that fell to her waist. Where Taehyung was sharp edges and well structured form, she was soft curves and blurred edges. Taehyung realised he was being over analytical but to him, it was strange just how much Rose stood in contrast to him. It made him want to gag.

And what was worse, Jungkook still wouldn’t look his way. His eyes darted to every corner of the room except for where Taehyung stood.

Look at me you fucking coward.

Taehyung felt nauseous being in that room.

How could he have gotten a girlfriend in four days. Who even does that!?

Jesus fucking Christ.

“Ok, uh, Hobi, I just remembered, I need to go… uh… meet my teacher and I’m late.” Taehyung needed to get out.

Hoseok scrunched his brow at him, “What?”

“Yeah.” Taehyung said, walking towards the exit, “I need to leave.”

Before Hoseok could say anything, Taehyung was out of the door and running down the sidewalk. He wasn’t sure where he was going but he couldn’t spend another second looking at Jungkook and his new girlfriend.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Taehyung

It was late, and Taehyung was exhausted. If it weren’t for the triple shot espresso, he’s sure he would have collapsed. He had followed Jimin to one of the dozens of parties he was always invited to despite every cell in his body protesting against it. He had had five continuous hours of rehearsals and their drama teacher had been unrelenting, requiring the utmost perfection in each scene. His throat was sore from how many lines he had spoken and his limbs were aching as there hadn’t been much sitting involved in the acts, however he had gone to the party at Jungkook’s behest.

Being Jimin’s roommate meant being herded to numerous parties and when Jungkook had called him, Tae couldn’t even muster it in him to say no. He could never say no to the raven haired boy.

“Tae tae, please I’ve avoided going for a month straight but he’s frickin checked my schedule to make sure I’m free so I can’t even lie! Tae, please, come along.” Jungkook’s voice had risen an octave as he had pleaded with Taehyung. “Tae, please I will buy you coffee for the next month, please.”

He didn’t even have to think twice before he agreed to join Jimin and Jungkook. How was he supposed to say no to Jungkook, when in all probability he would give the boy his left arm if he asked.

The party was like all other parties, it was crowded and loud and the September air was already warm on his skin and it didn’t help that the off campus penthouse he found himself in has condensation on the walls from how humid and hot it is even with the air conditioning on high.

Jungkook had stuck to him for the entirety of the party, which was exactly how Tae liked it. He didn’t even care that he had gotten four hours of sleep or that he had been on his feet for twice that time, not when Jungkook was speaking in his ear to be heard, not when he had his arm intertwined with Tae’s as they stood in one of the less crowded rooms, completely immersed in their own conversation.

Jungkook had seemed to have found a coping mechanism for parties though, as Taehyung had noticed and that was to get a drunk as he possibly could. From the three months that Tae had known Jungkook, he was aware the boy was not a fan of huge crowds especially when he was in the middle of it, and in the few times he couldn’t avoid Jimin’s insistence, he had turned to alcohol and Tae to help calm him. So Tae had stuck to only having punch for the duration of the night, officially taking it upon himself to take care of Jungkook.

The party was uneventful, Jungkook didn’t leave Tae’s side despite many people coming over to talk to him. Taehyung still couldn’t believe how oblivious Jungkook was to the obvious flirtatious remarks that were often thrown his way and he would have been jealous if Jungkook wasn’t so ignorant to people’s advances. It didn’t help that he was tipsy for the majority of the time either. Moreover, he nearly felt his heart stop, when a boy had walked over to Taehyung and offered him a drink and he felt Jungkook tighten his grip on his arm, quickly giving Tae a long, lingering kiss on the cheek.

“He’s taken, sorry.” Jungkook says to the eager boy who had walked away chagrined.

Taehyung turned to Jungkook, with his eyes wide, “I cannot believe you just did that! Holy shit.”

He was glad that Jungkook was too tipsy to register the elation on his face.

“Don’t like when people flirt with you.” Jungkook said in Tae’s ear making the hair on the back of his neck stand. If he could scream, he would’ve. Tae was starting to love drunk
Jungkook, with his candid nature and soft giggles.

“My eyes are only on you, Kook.” Taehyung says in a moment of courage, Jungkook only smiles at him dreamily.

Jungkook had gotten drunk twice before, and in both instances, Tae had ended up taking care of the younger boy.

And that was exactly what Taehyung ended up doing again, Jimin had disappeared with a boy who had too much eyeliner on saying not to come back to the dorm so he had taken a slurring Jungkook to his dorm room after the younger boy had vomited his guts out.

“What about Bogum?”
Jungkook asked as Tae unlocked the door and helped Jungkook inside.

Taehyung snorted, “He’s never here,”

“Mina.” Jungkook slurs the name of Bogum’s girlfriend.

“Exactly.”

Jungkook tightens his arm around Tae’s shoulders when he nearly trips, “Fuck… drank too much.”

“Come on, let’s get you sober.” Taehyung says as he lays down Jungkook on his bed.

The younger boy only kicks off his shoes and collapses on the bed, pulling his legs into his chest.

“Kookie, you can’t sleep drunk, you’re gonna get a really bad hangover.” Tae advices, shaking Jungkook’s shoulder.

“Don’t care. Sleepy.” came the muffled response and before Taehyung could say otherwise, Jungkook had covered his head with a pillow and had fallen asleep.

He sighed, he’d have to nurse a hungover Jungkook come morning. Not that he really minded though. He changed out of his jeans into a hoodie and sweats and got into Bogum’s bed, nothing more to do but sleep.

Taehyung was awoken by a nudge to his shoulder, he sat up dazed, “Huh? What?” He looked up to see Jungkook’s silhouette.

“Can I sleep with you?” Jungkook sniffled, “I’m having nightmares.”

He didn’t even have to think twice before he pulled Jungkook by his arm and put the comforter over both of their bodies, “Of course you can, you idiot.”

Jungkook’s body was so warm next to his, so comforting yet Tae’s heart was racing a mile

a minute almost as if his heart has sprouted legs and was trying to escape his chest cavity. He burrowed his nose into the crook of Jungkook’s neck, trying to hide the fact that his cheeks were probably heated and red from the close proximity, not that Jungkook would have seen either way in the darkness that shrouded the two. He smelled of beer and cherries and the signature cologne he always had on with a mixture of his own natural scent and it was enough to leave Tae feeling intoxicated.

In the darkness and stillness of the moment, Jungkook wrapped his arm around Taehyung’s waist, turning on his side to look at Taehyung, he was so close, Tae could feel his breath tickle his cheek softly. “You know,” his voice was thick with sleep and from the cadence of his words, Taehyung could tell he was still drunk. “Sometimes I think I’m in love with you,”

Taehyung stops breathing, “What?”

“Yeah, like I don’t know. But I think I might be in love with you.”

Taehyung sits up to say something but stalls when he hears the soft snores emanating from the body next to his. His brain is whirring with what he had just heard. Is he dreaming? He slaps himself and winces from the sharp sting, he’s definitely awake and Jungkook just told him he was in love with him. He was drunk but he had said it. He had fucking said it.

He stays awake the whole night, relishing in the warmth of Jungkook’s body next to his, the steady rise and fall of his chest, the way his hand finds Taehyung’s even in his sleep. Taehyung stays awake until the first rays of sunlight poke through the curtains, illuminating Jungkook’s sleeping face. So serene. So beautiful.

“I love you too, Kookie.” Tae finally days before his weary bones lull him to sleep, content.

Taehyung had run back to his dorm, where he slammed the door shut behind him. In that moment he was glad his roommate had basically made permanent residence at his girlfriend’s apartment. If his phone was blowing up with calls and texts from Jimin and Hoseok, he didn’t know - he had turned it off. He didn’t know what he needed but he sure as hell was not in the mood to talk about how he was feeling. He didn’t exactly know what he was feeling either, all he knew was that it stung, and it was too much for him to bear at the moment.

It was the frustration of having everything hit him so viscerally, and so sudden, and what drove him exactly was to be ascertained but he strips himself of his clothes and donned his flashier outfits, knowing just what kind of attention they elicited. He put on some make up, making sure to accentuate his eyes and ruffled his silver-grey hair. He had to admit, he looked good.
At first, he wasn’t sure what he was going to do but upon further contemplation, he realised what he needed was a strong drink.

If he was being completely honest with himself, Taehyung realised his attempt at escaping his hurt was a temporary fix and he would have to face up to the rejection soon enough but at the moment he was lost in a drunken haze. And he theorised that if he got drunk enough, anyone could look as beautiful as Jungkook.

Fucking Jungkook.

“Hi,” Someone calls out behind him, their voice barely audible over the noise from the crowd and the music
“What’s your name?”
Taehyung smiles to himself, he knew donning his deep cut v-neck shirt and skin tight jeans would give him the attention he so craved, “Taehyung,” He answered, spinning himself around on the bar stool to face the stranger, “What’s yours?”

“Wonho,” the stranger replies, he offers Taehyung a crooked smile and Taehyung has to admit he doesn’t need that much alcohol this time. He was muscular, not unlike the person Taehyung was trying to forget and the washed out jeans he wore cling to his thick legs the way Jungkook’s often did.

Stop fucking thinking about Jungkook.

“You wanna dance?” Wonho asked, after a brief exchange of introductions and pleasantries, leaning his elbow on the bar.

He doesn’t think when he answers, all he knows is that he needs to get Jungkook out of his his head even if it means losing himself in the arms of a stranger. Taehyung downed his drink in one swig, “Thought you’d never ask.” He took Wonho’s hand leading him down to the dance floor which was a thrombosis of sweaty bodies, grinding and dancing to the obscenely loud music.

After situating themelsves in the heart of the crowd, Wonho wraps his hands around Taehyung’s waist, drawing him in closer. Taehyung runs his hand down Wonho’s muscular arms, swaying his hips to the beat.
“You’re fucking beautiful.” Wonho whispers heatedly in Taehyung ear.
Taehyung smirked, he knows he is. He takes hold of Wonho’s hand around his waist and pulls them off him before he faces his back to the boy so that his ass is against Wonho’s erection.
“Fuck!” The boy behind him hisses in surprise.
If Taehyung felt Wonho’s body behind him, felt the muscles that rippled along his thick arms, he could almost believe it was Jungkook and not another stranger to lose himself in for the night.
Wonho tightens his grip around Taehyung waist, drawing him down on his hips that he was grinding into Taehyung’s backside, imagining Jungkook being behind him, made Taehyung moan out in pleasure.

Taehyung closed his eyes and let the music and sensation wash over his body, his mind refusing to rid Jungkook’s face from his brain. He knew it wasn’t Jungkook behind him, but in the tipsy, loosened state he was in, his mind was sure it was.

His brain was churning with memories of Jungkook. Their first kiss, how eager Jungkook had been to have his body against his. How his fumbling hands had touched him, how they had pulled Taehyung’s body on top of him as if that was all he needed.

It was having Jungkook’s soft lips against his own that had made Taehyung’s entire existence steady. The way he tasted, the way he felt it was enough for Taehyung to pledge his entire self into that one single kiss.

Fuck fuck fuck.

“Do you want another drink?” Wonho asks behind Taehyung, snapping him back to reality. His hands are exploring Taehyung’s body and he had been so lost in his thoughts that he had barely noticed.
Taehyung turns around to face Wonho, “I’d rather we get out of here, don’t you think?”
Wonho nods, “You spoke my mind.” He took Taehyung’s hand and led him out of the club.

Taehyung has had plenty of boyfriends, he knows exactly what to do to get a boy riled up. He knows

what to say, where to touch and how to make his body move around them. But in that moment all he can think about is Jungkook and how the boy shivered when Taehyung had kissed his neck or how his breathing had gotten heavier when Taehyung had straddled his hips. The sharpness of his jaw, the plump lips, the raven hair that seemed to have a mind of his own.

Taehyung still couldn’t quite wrap his mind around the fact that Jungkook had gotten himself a girlfriend. And he wasn’t quite sure why he was so hurt by it. He didn’t think that Jungkook would get a fucking girlfriend to avoid dealing with the consequences of a simple kiss. And that’s all it was… it was a stupid fucking kiss. They weren’t together, and he realises he had no right to feel the way he did.

So why couldn’t he bear the thought of being alone? Why did he feel his eyes ache with the flood of tears he was holding back whenever he thought of Jungkook.

He realises he’s being selfish and possessive, acting as if Jungkook was his, when in fact

Jungkook didn’t owe him anything, Taehyung realises that. But maybe that’s why it hurt him so much. The fantasy he’d cultivated in his head of him and Jungkook had been unrequited.

For fuck’s sake.

Wonho’s lips were soft against his own, he tasted like whiskey and cigarettes so unlike Jungkook’s cherry chapstick taste. Taehyung shifted his head to the side exposing his neck to Wonho, the latter chuckled, immediately taking the sign.

And when Wonho pressed his lips against Taehyung’s neck and left wet kisses along his jawline all he could see was Jungkook kissing his neck sweetly, tentatively. His lips had been so eager to taste him, to consume him. Taehyung shook his head and pushed Wonho onto the bed, straddling his hips. He chuckled, “You look so hot on top of me.”

“Shut up,” Taehyung breathes, holding Wonho’s arms above his head. There was only two layers of clothing that separated them, their trousers having been ditched at the bottom of the bed. And in the dim light of Wonho’s bedroom, with his warm body so similar to Jungkook’s, Taehyung could pretend it was Jungkook below him, his pupils dilated, his hands trying to feel every part of Taehyung. His soul reaching forth to touch Tae’s. But it wasn’t Jungkook, it was just a stranger and he couldn’t fill the emptiness he could only distract him but his brain wouldn’t allow even that.
He kissed Wonho increasing the pressure with each passing second and let his hands wander southward, he felt Wonho shudder underneath him when he stroked his length through his boxers. Wonho was completely entranced by Taehyung, pushing and pulling, trying to draw Tae in with his obviously skilled mouth. Tae trails kisses down the sculpted torso, making Wonho moan out with each brush of his lips. But in his head, it was still Jungkook underneath him, beautiful and shy Jungkook.
Taehyung pulls Wonho’s boxers off his hips and runs his hand along his length. He feels Wonho arch himself into Tae’s hand, eager for his touch. His breath is coming out in short and rapid gasps and
Taehyung wants to lose himself in the moment, he has an attractive guy underneath him, pliant and ready - anything he could ever want. But he can’t get Jungkook out of his mind. And when he presses his lips against Wonho’s to capture them in a heated kiss, all he can think about is how Jungkook now receives kisses from someone else.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Jungkook
He pulls his camera up from around his neck and starts recording the sight of a neon sign nestled deep within the depths of a dark alley, looking as if it hovered above the ground being the only source of light in the all consuming gloom, Vita , the sign read and when it would flicker off at regular intervals, the entire alley was once again consumed in darkness.Jungkook captures how inviting the alleyway almost looks with the sign on and it’s sudden transition to a hostile environment without the neon glow. Life… how apt. There is something about the bright neon lights shining against the dark backdrop of night that makes Jungkook’s heart race, whether it’s the mystery of the shadows that exist in tandem with the light in which anything can happen or
how everything looks a little better shrouded in darkness than it does under the scrutiny of the sun - he isn’t sure but the night brings forth a sense of wonder and a sense of unreality that Jungkook can’t help but be fascinated by it. And all he knows is that he has to capture it.He isn’t sure what it is but capturing the beauty of the world and compiling it into coherent running pictures made to soothe him the way not much could. And his life is lacking in beauty as of late. He realises that he shouldn’t be think of him , he knows he should put all those memories of him in a box and throw it into the depths of his ocean of thoughts but he can’t. His brain seems adamant in bringing forth his angular, well structured face, almost as if it is seared into his memory - which he’s pretty sure it is. For fuck’s sake Kook, you need to stop. He reprimands himself for the umpteenth time, why he is still trying, he doesn’t know.It terrifies him, the very thought of Taehyung and all that he represents by merely existing in his life. What he’s feeling he doesn’t know, he doesn’t care to know or perhaps he is in dire need of knowing but doesn’t want to admit it. Jungkook doesn’t want to dwell on his feelings, he is scared of where it may lead him if he leaves his thoughts to their own devices - they seem to have become Taehyung’s involuntary retributive instrument that he could use to confuse the fuck out of Jungkook.He goes through the numerous videos he had manage to record and the various scenes he had captured through out the night to get his mind off of him. He doesn’t want to think about him, he really doesn’t even though everywhere he turns he finds something that will remind him of the older boy. It’s a fucking pain.
It doesn’t help that every minute he spends with his friends is a minute where he wants one of them to bring Taehyung up just so that he can talk about him but of course nobody ever does even when he’s sure they have been talking.Jimin doesn’t ask him what happened, why the two suddenly stopped talking or why each one has gone out of their way to avoid the other. He knows that Jimin must already know from Taehyung what exactly happened between them but he never brings it up. He wonders what he would say if Jimin ever does bring it up, how would he even react? But a part of him wants to talk about it, he wants to vent to the ever present, ever supportive Jimin and tell him that he doesn’t know what the fuck he’s feeling. And maybe, just maybe, if he talked it out enough the truth would finally come out and he would know what to do. But maybe, that’s exactly what he’s afraid of as he himself does not know the truth and he doesn’t want to figure out the truth before he can mull over it and torture himself.It had been two weeks since he had last spoken to Taehyung. And he realises just how much he misses him. It had been two weeks of drowning himself in his assignments and research and his new formed relationship. For two weeks, he had continually lived in a reality he had created for himself and he was exhausted. He needed time to himself, to do what he loves, to capture the beauty that he notices, unseen by many and turn it into a coherent moving picture.Jungkook rounds the corner to find himself in the area well known for having in its very heart, the most popular bar amongst anyone who knows how to have fun. He had been there once, that too at the behest of Taehyung who didn’t want to be left alone when Jimin found another conquest. It was loud and humid and he hadn’t liked it one bit but having Taehyung cling to his arm had been worth enduring the sweaty bodies pushing up against him and the deafening music so loud it dissolves your thoughts in a thick soup of pounding bass and beats.
Taehyung. For fuck’s sake get out of my head.
He doesn’t want to think about him. He really doesn’t and it dawns on him why so many people would want to lose themselves in a sea of bodies and having music move through the turmoil in their brains so loud that you can’t even hear yourself think.Jungkook catches himself before his thoughts stray any further, he doesn’t want Taehyung to continue making a home in his thoughts, not that he hadn’t already. He clears his throat to root himself in the present, tired of his brain bringing the person into the picture without his permission. With his camera ready to shoot, he focuses it on the people leaving and entering the club, they enter with a nervous energy contained in their tight fitting clothes and strategically worn jewellery; they leave with lose limbs and loud laughter and make up smeared from whatever activities they had engaged in while in the darkness of the club. He smiles to himself, his brain already piecing the videos together, life at its fullest - young, vibrant and ready for whatever comes their way.
Vita…
And then Jungkook shatters into the present like broken glass, through the lens he sees him.He’s beautiful, as he always has been, his angular jaw perfectly holding in his warm boxy smile, his eyes sparkle with that intensity that had always drawn Jungkook in. He looks just as he always had - carefree, warm, an open book with happiness written in cursive across his face. Everything about him, Jungkook could recite in his sleep. Except for his hair, it had changed from its stormy grey to a light, subdued brown and he had his arm around another man’s shoulders.Jungkook can’t move, he can’t look away despite wanting to. His eyes are fixed on Taehyung and the man whose name he doesn’t know. He’s muscular, almost carrying Taehyung’s thin frame draped on his arm and he’s laughing as Taehyung whispers something in his ear. Jungkook is about to fucking lose it.They stand outside for a few seconds, the unknown man helping Taehyung stabilise on his feet.
Don’t turn around. Don’t turn around don’t turn around don’t turn around.

Fucking move, Kook.
His limbs tense and he drops his camera, the cord pulling around his neck jolts him awake and before he can think he’s barreling down from where he had came, eager to get as far away from Taehyung as he possibly can.His knocking is insistent and loud, he doesn’t care if her neighbour hears and tells him to shut the fuck up. He doesn’t care at all. He needs to see her, he needs something to distract him, to get his mind off of him , to lie to himself another day. He needs her to open the door.She opens the door after five seconds, her face is riddled with confusion that quickly dissolved to relief when she sees his face, “Kookie! Hi, what are you-Her body is flush against his before she can even complete her sentence. He’s eager, he’s desperate - too desperate but of course she doesn’t notice, she wants him too much. She had wanted him for the two weeks they had been together and now she was finally going to get him.
Kiss her you idiot, fucking enjoy it, you have a beautiful girl right in front of you.
Her room is shrouded in darkness, the only source of light being the streetlight that flooded in through her window. Just the way that he likes it. In the darkness, you can conjure a fantasy since your eyes aren’t there to see what really is. The body against his is Rose’s - that’s what his eyes would see. She’s moaning, unrestrained, letting her hands travel all over his body, feeling the taut muscles on his back flexing as he reaches for her waist, pulling her closer to him.But in the darkness, the body could be anybody’s. The soft skin underneath the fabric of the shirt, the lips pulling at his own trying to taste him, to consume him - it could be anybody’s. It could be his.
No, fucking stop. Stop it.
He needs more, he needs more. He needs to get him out of his head.“I need you,” he says in a break for breath.A puff of breath hits his cheeks when she gasps, “Kook, are you drunk?”Admittedly, he is, but that doesn’t matter. He knows he wants this. He wants this.“No,” He lies through his teeth, “But I know I want this.”And he pulls her back in, her mouth is warm and sweet and he knows this is what he should do. He drops his hands to cup her ass, grabbing her thighs and wrapping them around his waist, she’s everything he could want, so why doesn’t he want her?
Shut up, shut up, you want her.
Their clothes are discarded at the bottom of her bed as their lips consume each other, he can feel the heat radiating from her bare skin as he lays on top of her. Her hands find his member and he can feel her shrink backwards when she feels how unaroused he is.“Babe?” she whispers, “Is everything okay?”He wants to slam his head through a wall, “Yeah, yeah. I’m just, uh, I’m nervous.”Rose chuckles slightly before she pulls him down on her again, capturing his lips in a deep, yearning kiss. He realise he needs to do something about it if he wants this to go any further and he can’t help but wonder what’s wrong with him when he finds himself barely even excited to have a naked girl underneath him. His head hurts, the liquor making the tips of his fingers tingle.It had taken him half a bottle of cheap port wine to make his way to Rose’s dorm. Half a bottle of wine for him to blame what he suspects to be the truth on stress. And the alcohol was hitting him now.
Taehyung. Taehyung. Taehyung. Taehyung.
The way he tastes, his hands were always so firm when he’s hold Jungkook’s head in place, or when he situate his fingers and Jungkook’s chin to make their eyes meet. The euphoric thrill of having his lips on his own, pushing and pulling, each one gravitating into the other’s galaxy. His own a cluster of stars giving their light to the hundreds of planets, each one so different, and every one of them thriving. Taehyung’s was a colourful nebulae of startling hues, filled with his own gas giant that shown brighter than anything Jungkook had ever seen, and each one had its own gravity that held the other in place. Perfect. Syncopated.Jungkook moans when he feels a rush of blood to his head, Taehyung is underneath him, his skilled hands guiding him to his entrance. His hands wrap around his back as he settles on his elbows feeling Taehyung enclose him. A heady stream of bliss flows through his body as he starts to move, his heart is pounding in his chest, every muscle in his body is taut, begging for a release. The body underneath him shudders in pleasure.“Right there…” The voice whispers, although it sounds far away, lost in an ocean of wine.
Taehyung.
He moves faster. He needs to get more of Taehyung, it’s never enough. He’s lost in Taehyung’s event horizon, the pleasure stretching him far across who he is. Taehyung’s hips move in tandem to his, drawing him in deeper, and deeper, he could lose himself in this abyss. He is quite ready to.Jungkook captures Taehyung’s lips in his own, absorbing his moan into his own mouth and his body shudders with a wave of pleasure. He can feel desire pool in the depths of his belly, drawing everything that he is into one tiny spot, like all the blood in his body is congregating at one single point below his belly button waiting for a push to flood back into every crevice of his being.

So close, Tae, I’m so fucking close.
He feels Taehyung tighten beneath him, drawing him in deeper and Jungkook loses it.His mind blanks, like an explosion had just gone off in the depths of his mind and it the darkness all he can see is white blinding light that threatens to knock him unconscious. It’s pure unadulterated pleasure, the very beating heart of absolute bliss and he is in the very depths of it.
Taehyung! Oh my god yes Tae yes!
His breath is coming out in short gasps as the white light dissipates paving way for the darkness once again and Jungkook collapses on the soft sheets his eyes closed.“What the hell?” Someone says next to him and he stumbles back to reality.Rose, he’s next to Rose. His girlfriend. But his brain feels foggy. It was Taehyung five seconds ago.She sits up in bed and turns on the lamp next to her bed, it’s definitely Rose. “Did you just call out your best friend’s name?”
Oh my fucking God.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Taehyung

He’s absolutely exhausted by the time he steps out of the theatre and all he wants is to sleep. The entirety of the week had been endless rehearsals, costume fittings and drama teachers too brutal for anyone to handle but their university’s showcase is looming around the corner, steadily approaching in two weeks and he can’t really afford to fuck up. Not with his attendance at the college arising from hard work and scholarships.And showcases at the university garners all sorts of attention, representatives of agencies line the seats, scouring for fresh talent and getting a deal would mean a difference for his life after college. Taehyung realises all of his attention should be on delivering the best performance he can muster. Putting all his pain, all his suffering into his act, making the audience feel his pain, his ecstasy, his very existence should take root in their psyche eliciting emotions from them they never knew they could feel.But of course he can’t focus on anything except Jungkook and his stupid, beautiful girlfriend. He changes his mind as he walks to his apartment and takes his phone out making a few phone calls until he gets the response he needs. He doesn’t need to sleep, he needs a drink.
Taehyung hadn’t set out to make new friends when he had decided drowning his sorrows would be the best way to go. He didn’t think that he would be ignoring all of his friends either. He had replied to their texts and calls hours after receiving them, each time, excusing himself with an apologetic explanation of his lack of time to respond - and it was the truth he had been busy but when he declined their invitation to dinner or to merely hang out that had been out of wanting to avoid them.His friends hadn’t done anything wrong, of course. Yet, he can’t talk to them because he can’t risk seeing Jungkook again, it’s stupid and petulant but he can’t be involved in a conversation concerning Jungkook or his girlfriend. Even if Jungkook isn’t present, the looming topic of what had happened between them would hang over them like a thick cloud, turning the comfort into anything but and he couldn’t talk about Jungkook - he didn’t want to. At first, it had been shame for how he had pushed Jungkook but now he is bitter. He is bitter because as far as he knows he’s ceased to matter to Jungkook, it didn’t take him long to find himself a girlfriend anyway.Taehyung realises that he isn’t being fair to his friends - especially Jimin who had come around to his dorm more than once, having to resort to calling him instead and being told he wasn’t in his apartment. He’s being an asshole and he knows that he is but in his head an inane cycle churns where Jimin asks him what happened between him and Jungkook and for the life in him, Taehyung can’t lie to Jimin so it will all be laid on the table and someone else including him will know what a lovesick, bitter little shit he is.However, avoiding his friends wasn’t an elaborate plan that he had concocted in order to make time for his new found ones, that was completely by chance. All it had taken was a serendipitous meeting at one of the various café’s in the campus after his late night soirée. Shared laughter and cups of coffee in addition unrequited love interests had led to Taehyung befriending Wonho. Taehyung wasn’t sure what it was that had drawn them to the other but the absence of a sexual tension spent the night before meant there stood nothing between them but common interest and mutual heartbreak.“Dude, Tae, you need to slow down with the tequila slammers.” Hyungwon said, his pretty features crumpled in worry.Wonho leaned forward and nodded his assent, “He’s right, Tae, and man, I really don’t want to have to clean your puke again.”“That was one time!” Taehyung protested, although he did feel guilty, seeing as he couldn’t even remember the incident and his awareness of it came from Hyungwon telling him.Hyungwon shook his head and sighed in defeat, “Alright, well, at least have some water too. I’ll go get you some.”Taehyung grumbles a half hearted agreement - the sober and rational part of his brain having decided to go on temporary hiatus. He could only watch Hyungwon walk away from their table as his head spun and the only thing that kept him sitting upright was using Wonho’s shoulder as a support.He watches as Hyungwon’s pale pink hair takes an almost ethereal glow as he walks through the dance floor. Taehyung doesn’t take his eyes off if him until he disappears in the throng of bodies, lost in a sea of people.It’s strange how the bodies on the floor move as a single organism, surging and falling, lit up by the strobing lights. From the platform where the tables are kept, it almost seems as though they pulsate to the beat of the music. How free they must feel, Taehyung thinks, at that moment he can only imagine how untethered each person must feel - the buzz of alcohol through their veins, the endorphins coursing through their bodies. He wonders how it must feel like to discard of all your cares and proceed with such blithesome enjoyment, completely untethered in that moment to the struggle of being human.He considers himself a relatively happy person - as happy as any person could be. He wonders though if most people often pretend to be as unbothered as he is - if that is the secret to happiness, pretence. He figures pretending is better than succumbing and as far as he is concerned, he’s happy. But sometimes he feels it, like an itch - he doesn’t register it under most circumstances when he’s too involved in the life that surrounds him but in solitude it strikes, and just like an itch once he starts scratching at it, he can’t stop.
No, stop it, you’re fine. Jesus.
He tilts his head to look up at Wonho and notices that his lips are moving, forming words it takes his brain a little too long to understand.“I get it, he’s my best friend but fucking hell, I can’t help it.” Wonho finishes.Taehyung enebriated brain takes a second longer to assimilate the information before he replies, “You’re so gay for Hyungwon.” He hadn’t heard the rest of what Wonho has said but extrapolating from his expression of complete and utter despondency, Taehyung is certain he’s talking about Hyungwon.Wonho shrugs his shoulder slightly and it jerks Taehyung upright, “Well, I’m gay. Period.”“Bitch, you know what I mean!” Taehyung retorted, his words coming out slow and slurred, his head is too heavy for his shoulders, he realises and takes refuge in Wonho's shoulder again. “At least the object of your affection knows and admits that he’s gay.”Taehyung earns a sympathetic pat to his head, “There, there, he can’t dodge the gay forever, kid.”He wants to laugh, but he’s so drunk he falls onto Wonho’s lap instead, “So thick.” Taehyung manages to say, stroking Wonho’s thigh.“Am I interrupting something?” He hears from above them and looks up to find a smirking Hyungwon holding three bottles of water in his hands.Taehyung sits up, “Just because I’m gay, doesn’t mean I’m gay for him. No. He is in fact gay for you.”
Hey, dude what the fuck. WHAT THE FUCK.
He wants to shove the whole bottle in his mouth to shut himself up when he feels Wonho tense next to him.But Hyungwon merely raises one eyebrow, “No actually, he’s just gay.” He says nonchalantly and Taehyung swears he feels Wonho deflate next to him, whether in relief or disappointment, he doesn’t know. Maybe both.He turns to Wonho to mouth an apology and Wonho shakes his head waving it off. “I think…” Taehyung began, “we should go.” With the appearance of his overt candour, he realises he’s had one drink too many.Hyungwon claps his hands together, crying out in agreement, “Yes! Finally.”“Wonho,” Taehyung croons, stretching his arms in front of him as Wonho stands up. Taking his hands, the boy helps him stand up. “Holy shit, my head is heavier than my body.”“Come on,” Wonho starts, wrapping his strong arms around Taehyung’s waist, helping to support his swaying frame.“You two head outside, I’ll go pay the bill first,” Hyungwon says as he follows behind them.Taehyung reaches his unsteady hand to touch Hyungwon’s arm, “Thank you, Hyungwonnie.”Hyungwon offers him a wink before turning to Wonho, “Get him some air, he looks like he’s about to pass out.”Wonho nods and drags Taehyung through the swirl of bodies and sweat, making sure that he doesn’t fall or get lost in the crowd.When the cool night air hits his face, Taehyung is jolted awake, the November air hitting his skin like needles, his state of inebriation doesn’t help to lessen the biting cold either. He tightens his grip on Wonho’s shoulder, “My nipples are hard.” He whispers into the boy’s ear.“You are so drunk,” Wonho says, his body shaking with laughter.“We been knew!” Taehyung proclaims before falling into the support of Wonho’s arm again and it’s almost the most comfortable he’s been all night, Wonho feeling so similar to arms he would have liked to call a home and in that moment Taehyung’s entire being resonates with deep longing for a boy who doesn’t even care about him.It’s almost poetic, he wonders what sort of content could escape his mind as misses Jungkook, what he could weave from his pain but the only content that escapes Taehyung is that of his stomach as he doubles over and retches on the street.“Are you sure you don’t wanna crash at my place tonight?” Hyungwon asks from inside the cab as Taehyung steps out.He nods, “Yeah, I need to change.”Hyungwon nods, “Alright, Tae tae, get some sleep okay?”“Good night, sir!” Wonho calls after Taehyung as the cab speeds off into the night.Taehyung almost misses them when they leave, he resents being alone when he’s upset but sometimes you can’t continually burden your friends with your shit and he doesn’t want to do that. The main street is almost empty, only a few cars drive by as he walks towards his dorm’s building.It’s in the more economical section of town, where student housing comes cheaper but the rooms are more crammed, similar to the buildings that hold them but there is something he likes about it, the cacophony of a street that is jam packed with shops and dormitories, almost at full capacity, bursting with the potential and personality of being thriving small businesses. It’s outside of the campus but close enough that it takes Taehyung twenty minutes to get to his classes and he prefers it to the in-campus housing - it’s quieter.He always liked walking the empty streets at night, where everything is placid and he can enjoy the nightscape on his own time which is why he always made it a point to have cabs drop him off a block from his dorm.The effects of the alcohol have mainly left him, having puked out their potency on the street, but he still feels a slight buzz as he walks slowly through the sidewalk. It’s gotten colder since they had left the club and a deep empty settles in his heart as reality creeps up on him. He misses Jungkook so much.But he is so angry at him, he’s angry at stupid Rose for being a girl and he’s angry at himself for being a boy and he feels so stupid to have taken his feelings so seriously and for letting them grow over the months. He had always hated developing crushes, even the most innocent one left him distraught for weeks on end and this had elevated to such a degree that it hurts him so viscerally he can’t even stand to be in his own skin, he can’t bear to hold a heart in his chest that he’s sure no longer belongs to him.And the worst part is that he’s sure Jungkook hates him now.“Taehyung.” He hears behind him and his blood runs cold. He knows that voice, that voice has etched itself into the fabric of his nightmares taking the form of demons and darkness. He hadn’t heard the voice in five years but it still lives in the depths of his mind.He turns around slowly, praying it’s an auditory hallucination. But he crashes into the present when the looming figure stands before him.“W-what are you doing here?” He chokes out, fear gripping his chest like a vice.The man chuckles humorlessly, “Is that how you greet your father, Kim Taehyung?”“You are no more a father to me than a stranger on the street.” He hisses, standing his ground.His father’s forced humour disappears from his sharp features and before Taehyung can process what is happening his body is being pinned against the wall, “You dare speak to me like that, you fucking faggot?”Taehyung can feel the crippling fear he had lived with for so long creep into his bones. He opens his mouth to speak, to shout, to fight back in anyway that he can but he finds his brain having lost all capability to defend him.“Yes, I know, I know what an abomination you are.” His father spat, so close that Taehyung can smell the stench of stale cigarette smoke drifting from his mouth. So familiar, so unnerving that he’s an eight year old child again, punished for crimes he didn’t commit. He is afraid and this man is violent and has and anger in him that chills Taehyung to the bone. The grip around his neck tightens“Let- Let go!” Taehyung struggles, his body fighting against his father’s strong hold, every single cell in him urges him to fight, to kick at his father’s shins, claw at his face but all he can do is dig his nails into the palms of his hand, a conditioned response taking over his entire body - don’t you dare fight back. He peers into Taehyung dark eyes a second longer before dropping him to ground. Taehyung wants to get up and run away but he is frozen.
Do something, you coward!
He can’t move.His father cracks his knuckles, a sound sending a wave of panic to course through Taehyung’s body. He waits for it, for the blow that would leave him bruised for weeks but his father merely laughs, turning around and walking away, “Tell your mother I’ve found you.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Jungkook

When he wakes up, his mouth tastes sour and his head feels heavy with pain. He isn’t sure where he finds it in himself, but he drags himself out of bed and manages to reach his dresser where he grabs a pain killer and dry swallows it.

He’s so tired, even though his phone tells him that he’s been asleep for a solid eight hours. Scrolling through his messages, he sees that Yugyeom has texted him throughout the night, enquiring into his current state, which Jungkook has to admit isn’t at all good. He’s lost all his friends, back again at square one with only Yugyeom to ease his loneliness.

Jungkook glances over at Jimin’s bed and sees that it’s empty, as it usually is when Jungkook wakes up. Jimin, it seems has altered his routine completely in order to avoid him. He’s asleep when Jungkook comes back to their dorm and by the time he wakes up, Jimin is gone, leaving behind only a perfectly made bed. Not that Jungkook blames him anyway.
It’s been two months, since he had spoken to most of his friends, seeing as the only one who doesn’t actively avoid him is Namjoon but even he holds Jungkook at a wary distance. He brought it upon himself, he knows that.
He jumps when his phone blares to life, displaying Yugyeom’s name, he hits the green button, “Hello?”

“Kook, dude, you okay?” He can hear the worry behind Yugyeom’s tone.

He’s not, he really isn’t. “Of course, Kyeom. I’m okay.”

“I’m okay,” Taehyung said dejectedly, his arms wrapped around his knees.

Jungkook doesn’t buy it but he doesn’t want to push Taehyung, not in his current state. So he moves up the bed and positions himself next to him and wraps his arms around his shoulders instead. “Alright, I still wanna hug you though.”

Taehyung chuckles slightly and buries his face into the Jungkook’s shoulder. He is warm against his body and when he breathes against Jungkook’s skin, the boy can’t help but shiver.

Jesus Christ, Kook. Get yourself together.

The stiffness in Taehyung’s shoulders begin to dissipate as Jungkook rubs small circles along his back, feeling the ridges of his spine underneath his fingertips. Taehyung doesn’t move from his position, seemingly having acquired some sense of comfort in burying his face into Jungkook’s shoulder which he’s glad of, any form of ease he can give Taehyung, he’s willing to offer. It isn’t until he feels Taehyung’s shoulders quiver under his hands that he realises Taehyung is crying.

“Tae?” Jungkook hooks his finger underneath Taehyung’s chin, “Tae, hey, you’ll be alright.”

“I know,” Taehyung sniffles, taking Jungkook’s hand in his own, “I know, but I’m so scared, Kookie. I’m so so fucking scared.”

Jungkook rearranges himself so that he can face Taehyung taking both of the boy’s hands, “Tae, your mum and Jin’s family are on it, campus security are on the lookout for him, and he can’t get to you here, not in Jin’s apartment.”

When Taehyung refuses to speak, Jungkook continues, “He’s violated the restraining order, Tae, he won’t dare to come near you or your mum now, not if he wants to avoid prison.”

“Kook, you just- you don’t know how terrified I was of living under him for fourteen years of my life. Every night he decided he’d spend time at home was a night I couldn’t sleep and last night when he- he-.” Taehyung’s voice shakes and a torrent of tears escape from his eyes, sobs wracking his body.

Unsure of what to say, all he can do is tighten his hold on Taehyung’s body. Jungkook knows about Taehyung’s father, from the intermittent stories of him that he’d heard from Tae. He knew iabout the abusive bastard and the hell that he had rained on Taehyung and his mother. It was always difficult for Taehyung to talk about it but during the nights when he couldn’t sleep, Jungkook had listened to Taehyung tell him about his nightmares, of a hand that never stopped landing blows on his body, of words that burned into his skin like acid, corroding every barricade he had set up.

He didn’t know of the exact horror that Taehyung had to face but from the retellings of his nightmares, Jungkook could deduce the severity of the abuse.

“He can’t hurt you anymore, Tae.” Jungkook’s says reassuringly. “I won’t let him.”

With Taehyung in his arms, Jungkook can’t help but contemplate how much he has missed him. He has missed the way Taehyung’s right hand always found itself hooked to the nape of his neck, and the familiarity that lived in the gesture that brought to him warmth and soothe whatever nerves that had decided to get to him on that day.

They lay in each other’s arms until Taehyung’s tears cease and his breathing steadies.

“Kookie, you don’t have to be here with me.” Taehyung said softly. Maybe it was just in Jungkook’s imagination but he could almost feel Taehyung angle his body in such a way that he edged a little bit further from his own.

“What are you talking about?”

Taehyung sat up, dropping his hand from Jungkook’s neck, “I don’t want you to be here out of guilt or obligation or something. And, like, you haven’t even called Rose, I don’t know, won’t she be worried?”

“Firstly, I am here because I want to be and don’t even pretend like you don’t want me here because I know you do.” Jungkook said, a little livid that Taehyung would even assume that anytime he chose to spend with him was out of obligation. “And uh, well, Rose and I broke up.”

“What the fuck? Why?”

Jungkook quirked an eyebrow up, “Tae, you fuckin’ know why.”

“Oh,” Taehyung looked down,

“Yeah.”

Taehyung smirked, “Finally.”

“Shut up.”
Jungkook grumbled, burying his face in his hands. He doesn’t want to properly defend himself seeing as for the first time in the twenty four hours since the incident, Taehyung hadn’t lost the quiver in hands and now, he had smiled.

“Hey, look at me.”

“What?”

“May I kiss you?”

Jungkook can’t breathe properly.

Kiss him. KISS HIM YOU FUCKING IDIOT.

“Shit. Too soon?” Taehyung asked, “I’m sorry, ugh.”

“No!” Jungkook nearly screeched, he takes a deep breath, “Come here.”

Cocking his head to the side, Taehyung leans forward, bringing his lips dangerously close to Jungkook’s. “Hi.”

“You’re an idiot.” Jungkook sighed, a smile forcing its way to his lips.

Taehyung brings himself closer placing his hands on Jungkook’s chest. Jungkook’s heart is in his throat as Taehyung’s closes the distance between their lips and he’s sure that Taehyung can feel his heart beating under his palms.

He can’t begin to explain the euphoria that courses through his veins as each second passes and everything that once belonged to him find their new home in Taehyung instead.

It’s tentative at first, each touch of their lips coaxing the other into a new reality that the meeting of their lips create for themselves. Taehyung is brilliant and warm and he is everything that Jungkook could have asked for and more. His body fits against Jungkook’s own as if it ha seven tailor made for his. It is here that Jungkook understands the existence of a higher being, creating him, creating Taehyung - making each man to complete the other. He is a beating heart and Taehyung is the blood that flows through him.

Taehyung’s lips are soft against his, different from their other kisses; their first kiss was fire and burning desire, it was hunger of the uncertainty of a second kiss whereas this kiss was to soothe and heal.

Jungkook wants Taehyung to feel safe as he gives him all that he can through the intertwining of their bodies and the sharing of kisses. They kiss each other softly but with an intensity that bring with it the promise of tomorrow.

He is alive as their hands cling to each other’s bodies, each one drawing strength from the other and giving back just as much, forever in equilibrium.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Taehyung

He’s ignored twenty two calls throughout the entire morning, the majority having been from Wonho and Jimin. He can always use drama practice as an excuse but he must be sure to come up with a better excuse to avoid his friends again. He’s tired, that’s what he is.All his friends were aware of it, but they seemed to think that company was what he needed but all he wanted to do was lie in bed alone without having to talk to anyone. His friends hadn’t done anything to him, they had been nothing but compassionate and supportive but the anger still boiled in his blood, coursing through his skin like a river. He was pissed and he felt like he was on the verge of exploding and overworking himself only exhausted him enough each day that he didn’t set out in the middle of the night in a fit of rage.
Two months wasn’t enough time to quell his anger. And he didn’t want it to, because Taehyung was aware that when the anger dissipated all he would be left with would be unbearable sadness and he’d take rage any day. He would rather berate himself everyday for falling rather than accept the fact that he would never again feel the way he did. It’s easier to think about the wrong that was done to him, so it could fuel him rather than think of what he had lost as it would shatter him.
The vibration coming from next to him snaps him out of his thoughts, sending him crashing back to reality. The caller ID shows that Jimin is calling him, again. He’s not sure how many times he had called him but he knows he can’t avoid it any longer.
“Yeah,” He answers.
Taehyung hears Jimin breathe a sigh of relief, “I have been trying to talk to you for a week, why the hell didn’t you pick up?”
He takes in a deep breath, not having it in him to respond, “I was really busy, man, we started a new play and it’s been hell.”

“Oh,” Jimin says, Taehyung knows Jimin wants to talk about it, they had never actually discussed what had happened. Taehyung felt better pretending it hadn’t happened. But from the silence coming from the other end, Taehyung knows it’s coming.

He should have never picked up.
“Tae, listen, we need to talk about how you are.”

Fuck fuck.

“Are you okay? I mean, I know you’re not but not talking about it isn’t gonna help either. Hello?” Jimin says when he fails to respond.

“Yeah, yeah, Jimin, look, I’m fine okay? But I really need to go learn my lines now alright. New play.” He hangs up before Jimin can say anything more.

Lying to Jimin never feels good, but whether it’s his stubbornness or the fact that he’s too goddamn self sufficient, he can’t share with his best friend the burden that he carries.

He gets up from the floor of the stage, looking around the empty theatre with only one solitary source, giving the room any light at all. He had been spending more and more time in the theatre seeing as it was the only place his friends wouldn’t go into because it was always locked after classes ended, but Taehyung had a key - being the lead in almost every production had its perks.

Taehyung checks the time and finds that he had spent the last two hours since class had ended in the theatre and it still wasn’t enough time. He usually spent his evenings after practice working on costumes he didn’t need to work on or repainting props but over the past two months he had run out of things to burn his time repairing.

He walks slowly toward the back door, wanting nothing more but for the day to end so he could fall asleep. It’s only 6 o’clock and there’s almost nothing left to distract him.

Taehyung, don’t fucking do it. Don’t do it.

He pushes his trepidation aside and calls for an über, it arrives by the time he leaves the theatres grounds. The driver confirms the directions that he had inputted into the app and Taehyung nods into the rear view mirror.

“It’s a shady place, sir, not for young students like you to visit.” The driver says, eyeing Taehyung worriedly.
Taehyung draws in a deep breath, “No, I know. But I know someone there. I’ll be fine.”
The driver shrugs, resigned to accept Taehyung’s determination and continues the rest of the drive in silence. Driving from the thriving streets of the city to the darker parts of town with questionable shadows seen in the dark alleys sends a shiver up Taehyung’s spine, but he’s too numbed by rage to care.

He hadn’t set foot in this part of town since he was seven years old but the memories that reside in the back of his mind awaken like a beast from its slumber making him angrier for reasons unfathomable to him.

Four years of his young life had been spent here and he wasn’t all that thrilled to revisit it but it had to be done. He still remembers the day, he and his mum had managed to escape after she had landed a job at Seokjin’s home. And coming back only managed to leave a sour taste in his mouth.

This was where you bought all those hidden from the sun, where you found bodies that sold themselves in the night and men with depraved appetites, finding sanctuary in the darkness and neon lights. It was a place soiled by the hunger of men who would never dare show their true colours. Just the kind of place

he

would thrive in.

Taehyung clears his throat as they near a familiar dilapidated building that is nestled right between a bar and what appears to be a strip club. They had been convenient stores when he had lived here.

How things change.

He asks the driver to pull over and he steps out after handing him a tip. The driver gives him one more look before shaking his head and driving off. He’s not sure of his choice to end up here at night either. But he is here and there’s no going back.
The building before him brings back memories that he had tried his hardest to bury. They’re a sharp sting of his origins, of an anger that lies dormant in him that he always tried to tamp down. He hates that part of him, it was a part reminiscent of everything he despises but yet it dwelled in him like a parasite sucking out the goodness.

Taehyung takes a deep breath and turns the knob of the door. Memories. Memories. Memories.

Shut up.

From the door towards his left, thumping bass can be heard accompanied by a fast and loud rap that he can barely understand, he takes a deep breath, being hit with the stench of cigarette smoke and dust. He quickly jogs up the stairs, muscle memory making him skip over the seventh step that always creaked.

Just another left and he’d be met with the doorway he often dreaded entering. But now he isn’t scared, he’s angry and that very rage fuels him as he closed the distances, knocking on the door insistently.

“What?” A gruff response comes from the inside,

He knocks louder.
“Motherfucker,” The voice says, muffled before he hears the sound of walking.
“The fuck you want?” Taehyung’s father says as he opens the door. Before he can even register who is standing in front of him, his son throws a right hook at his face, knocking the man backwards.

“You fucking faggot!” His father shouts, his hand cradling his cheek.

“Don’t call me that.” Taehyung’s voice is steely and cold. He walks forward, his hand clasped around his father’s throat. His father aims punches at Taehyung’s stomach but they are ill aimed and sloppy, he’s found comfort at the bottom of a bottle as Taehyung had suspected he would.

“It’s been twenty-two years,” Taehyung throws his father against the wall, holding him in place while his father flails about uselessly, “Twenty-two fucking years of being terrified of you and what you can do.”

His father’s hands are at his neck, trying to pry, Taehyung’s hand open. He lands a hard blow at his father’s solar plexus, incapacitating him. “I’ll fucking kill you.”

“You can try.” Taehyung doesn’t recognise the voice that he hears coming out of his mouth, it is cold and calculating and it is everything he has tried not to be. Using all the strength he can muster he slams his father against the wall, “I want you to listen to me.”

“I’m not afraid of you. Not anymore. I’m done living under the constant fear of what you might do to me.”

His father claws at his son’s hands, “I’ll fucking kill you, fucking faggot.” His face is turning red, if it’s from anger or restricted blood flow, Taehyung doesn’t know.

“SHUT UP.”

“I’ll kill you-

Taehyung cuts him off with a hard blow to his face, completely disorienting him. His father chuckles bitterly, “I never knew you had this in you, kid.”

He doesn’t answer, Taehyung backs away from

his father, once again hit with the uncertainty of his actions.

“I’m proud of you.”

At that, Taehyung sees red. Every single memory, every single hit he had taken from his father, all of the verbal abuse that he had taken on a daily basis pushing him off a precipice into the waters of an ocean he had always feared of entering. Before he can control himself or his actions, he’s on top of his father landing blow after blow after blow. Their skins crack and their blood mingles as Taehyung cries out in rage. He hears the sickening crunch of bone as he continues his onslaught.

“You hit me. You hit mom because I was different! FUCKING BASTARD. You hurt me because I was too fucking different for you.” His fist connects once more with his father’s face before he gets up on his feet,“But you’re proud of me for hurting you back.” He says, landing a kick after every word.

He gets no response from the bruised and bloodied man beneath him, only hears the ragged breathing that slowly emanates from his open mouth. Did he break a rib? Good.

“Pathetic.” He spits next to hai father’s head before turning around and leaving the apartment that had been a hellhole for him and taking with him a part of himself he had tried to leave behind.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Taehyung

It’s 2 am and he should be asleep, not only does he have an early practice day in the morning, he’s also been missing out on proper sleep and the lethargy is starting to get to him.

But he can’t sleep when he’s plagued by memories that are better than anything he could’ve taken to stay awake.

The memory of him is so vivid in his mind that if he concentrates hard enough, he can feel his arms around him, he can feel his lips explore the contours of his body hesitant at first until he is overrun by desire and moves as instinct instructs him to.

“Come here,” Taehyung says, motioning with his finger.

Jungkook takes small steps towards Taehyung, obviously noting the expression on Taehyung’s face. “Hi, is everything okay?”

“Yeah, Kookie, I’m just a little frustrated.”

The younger boy clears his throat, “Why, what happened?” His expression is innocent, Taehyung is about to lose it.

“Oh, I don’t know, I think it has something to do with a certain someone sending me pictures while I was in class.”

Jungkook offers him
a small smile as he stands in front of him, “You got them? You didn’t reply so I assumed that you hadn’t -

His sentence is interrupted by Taehyung pushing him onto the bed, making him gasp in surprise.

“Do you know how fucking difficult it is to look at your boyfriend sending you texts and pictures depicting just what a horny brat he is all the while listening to your teacher giving you instruction on a play that’s happening in a week?” He is straddling Jungkook’s hips, feeling his hip bones dig into his inner thighs.

Jungkook is unable to speak underneath him, his chest is rising and falling rapidly as Taehyung stares down at him.

“What am I supposed to do when my baby likes to tease me so much, huh?”

Taehyung bends down, his lips meeting Jungkook’s. They’re soft and pliable as their lips envelope the other in sweet caresses. Jungkook’s hands travel up Taehyung’s thighs to his back, slipping underneath his shirt. His hands are cold as they touch the warmth of Taehyung’s skin, making him shiver.

As Jungkook gravitates into the kiss, Taehyung brings his hand up to Jungkook’s neck, “Did you really think you could be a spoiled little brat without repercussions?” When he fails to respond, he squeezes the sides of his neck lightly, eliciting a small gasp.

“No,” Jungkook’s voice is soft but heavy with desire, “No, I didn’t.”

Taehyung captures Jungkook’s lips in a kiss once more but it’s no longer soft and deliberate, it now bears all of the frustration and need that Taehyung felt would strangle him if he didn’t get it out of his system. He couldn’t count on both hands how many times they had been in the company of each other behind closed doors, but despite that the aching desire for Jungkook wouldn’t dissipate.

Jungkook’s hands are frantic as they try to take Taehyung’s jacket off his shoulders which he helps by shrugging it off but stills Jungkook’s hands when they travel underneath his t-shirt “No.”

“Tae, please” Jungkook whines

“What do you want?” Taehyung is teasing him, just as he did.

“You know what I want.” The younger boy’s hands travel to his jeans trying to unbutton them but Taehyung is quick as he grabs both of Jungkook’s hands pinning them at each side of his head.

“I don’t think so, babe.” He lifts Jungkook’s shirt to reveal his abdomen as he trails wet and sloppy kisses all along his torso, making the boy shiver underneath him.

Jungkook throws his head back as Taehyung’s mouth finds its way to his erect nipple, slowly caressing it with his tongue, intent on drawing his actions out as much as he possibly can.

“You like that?” Taehyung asks teasingly.

“Please, I want you.”

He loves it when Jungkook becomes a seething, wanton mess underneath him. “Not yet, baby.”

Taehyung ducks down again, softly kissing Jungkook’s neck. He smells like lemons and all the things that boys are made off and Taehyung is completely intoxicated, he’s drowning in Jungkook. He’s so lost in the wonder that is his lover that he doesn’t notice the deft fingers trying to undo the button of his trousers.

Taehyung catches Jungkook’s hands before they could get any further, “Babe,”

“Fucking fuck Tae, please.” He’s almost whining.

He doesn’t respond but only proceeds to hold Jungkook’s hands above his head while the other holds his head in place, “Now, if you’d please, I would really like to make my boyfriend suffer for sending me sexts during my classes, thank you.”

Taehyung likes to kiss Jungkook, it’s obvious from how many kisses he likes to leave all over his body but feeling Jungkook’s skin beneath his lips brings forth feelings in him that turn his blood to fire. He tries to memories each response he gets wherever his lips travel.

Lips.

They’re soft with the ever present taste of cherry lip balm.

Jawline.

It’s sharp and Jungkook angles his face so that Taehyung can only travel towards his neck.

Neck.

He likes to linger here because Jungkook’s moans become heavy and drawn when his lips touch the sensitive skin of his neck. And he likes how he can almost feel the pumping of his pulse when his lips start to suck on the skin lightly.

Chest.

It’s toned and strong and Taehyung loves to rest his head on Jungkook’s chest, listening to the deep sounds of his heartbeat.

Torso.

It’s defined and Taehyung doesn’t want to be so vain so as to adore his sculpted body to the point of objectification but it is nice to run his hands along it when he’s straddling him.

His lips ghost over Jungkook’s hip bones now which protrude slightly leaving a small gap beaten the waist band of his jeans and his hips.

He can hear Jungkook beg him, begging him for something they both want, and it’s too much for Taehyung, his fingers are quick in ridding Jungkook of his pants.

Taehyung continues to leave soft kisses along Jungkook’s thighs, getting close but never too close much to the frustartion of the boy beneath him.

“Baby, you’re already so wet.” Taehyung

tells him as he kisses his hip bones.

“Shut up.”

“That requires me not using my mouth which is y’know, I don’t think it’s something you want right now.” He swears Jungkook is about to break up with him from the look on his face. He agrees. It was too much. To make up for it, he takes off his shirt.

His initial plan of not giving Jungkook the satisfaction of looking at hai naked body is completely forgotten as he is overrun with the burning desire to feel Jungkook against himself and in the next second, his pants follow his shirt on the floor.

“Finally.” Jungkook sighs.

Taehyung stands back and looks at Jungkook’s naked body on the bed, so ready for him, so eager. He’s so beautiful.

Jungkook’s cheeks turns red, he had said it out loud.

“Well, you are beautiful, my love.” He’s getting on his knees by the end of the sentence. Jungkook’s cock is in his hands now, warm and wet and so hard.

His skilled hands elicit loud moans from Jungkook, whose hands are bunched up into fists, pulling the sheets towards him, his eyes are closed with his head thrown back just as Taehyung loves him to be. And when Taehyung’s lips envelope him, he swears he feels Jungkook’s body shudder underneath him.

“Yes,” Jungkook moans, his hands naturally moving to grasp Taehyung’s hair. “Oh god.”

Taehyung enjoys making Jungkook feel good, and he has to admit it is partly for selfish reasons, seeing Jungkook moaning and edging him further towards his precipice makes all the heat pool in his member, nothing turns him on more than to see Jungkook coming apart under his touch.

Jungkook makes him stop and pulls his head away earning a soft groan from him, Jungkook looks up at him eagerly, “Your turn.”

His entire body is buzzing with anticipation and excitement and arousal and it’s almost too much for him to take. The tips of his fingers are tingling as he watches Jungkook get down on his knees in front of him. His dark hair is mussed up, an indication of their previous acts, his lips are red and glisten under the weak light of Taehyung’s dorm. His body is slick with sweat, highlighting that torso of his, if only Taehyung has as much dedication to sculpting his abs as Jungkook did. He’s so beautiful in his nakedness and every part of Taehyung wants him.

When his soft lips enclose his cock, Taehyung inadvertently lets out a soft groan, he fumbles as he begins but slowly starts to get into a rhythm. Taehyung’s body is alive in a away it only ever is when he is with Jungkook. Being hyper aware of everything that Jungkook is doing to him is almost too much for him to bear.

“Oh god, baby, yes.” He’s gasping and moaning, his fingers entangling themselves in Jungkook’s hair, guiding his movements. Jungkook’s hands are at the base of his cock moving along with the rhythm he has established, just like Taehyung had taught him to.

He can’t help but notice how pretty Jungkook looks, down on his knees with his slick cock passing in between his lips.

Jungkook pulls away running his hand along Taehyung’s length, “I’ve missed you so much, Tae.”

Taehyung opens his mouth to reciprocate but is promptly cut off when Jungkook takes his entire length into his mouth and Taehyung nearly falls to his knees when he feels his head hit the back of Jungkook’s throat. “Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.”

Jungkook’s hands and mouth are both syncopated to an enticing rhythm drawing all the heat deep into Taehyung’s belly, the pleasure almost painful from its intensity, he knows he’s close.

“Oh god, Kookie, I’m gonna -

Taehyung hands finish as a blinding ecstasy takes over him only to be replaced by discomfort and guilt when he is finished. He opens his eyes, settling into the reality that he’s all alone in his dorm as he usually is. He’s not with Jungkook exploring each other’s bodies. He’s alone and he’s absolutely miserable.

How pathetic is it that after two months he can still only get off to his ex.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Jungkook

His mother is quiet as she browses the clothes on the racks, but even through her best efforts he notices her glances that flit towards him every few minutes as if he’s about to explode at any given moment. And while Jungkook appreciates her efforts they are wasted. It had taken nineteen years to cultivate a cool exterior while tamping down feelings so intense they could burn a hole through his chest, and while he fucking sucked at concealing anything east of shyness, anger he could bottle it up into a tin can and serve cold.

“Sweetheart, do you see anything you like?” She asks him tentatively.

“Nope.” He replies curtly, completely disinterested.

His mother’s delicate features wrinkle under a frown, “Jungkook you cannot think that wearing an all black outfit with those ugly chunky shoes will do you any good.”

He wants to retort, get thing backs to how they’ve always been but he can’t seem to find the willingness to really say anything. He notices the look his mother gives him, he never usually shied away from defending his black t-shirt’s. Jungkook hates seeing his mother upset, and with sheer will power he gives her his most convincing smile and randomly pick out a white t-shirt, “This one’s nice.”

His mother gives him a smile, “It’s perfect.”

The next few hours pass in a haze as his mother drags him from one store to another and with his mindless agreement to her choices, she’s tentative and he hates it. He’s used to her telling him about what she has been doing, about how Paris was beautiful and it still took her breath away even after she visited it for the 100th times. He wants her to tell him about how her clothing line is doing or about what she has been reading. But she’s too quiet, which Jungkook hates.

Nothing is the same. He is aware of that, there is nothing that he wants more than to talk to his mother about Taehyung but he’s not sure what she’ll say and he doesn’t have the heart to bring him up. What would he say anyway, Taehyung hates him, that he knows.

It wasn’t supposed to end like this. In fact, Jungkook had never wanted it to end at all. He had hoped against every inch of pessimism in him, that nothing bad could happen to him and Taehyung and the little niche of happiness that they had made for themselves.

When the call from his father comes, Jungkook knows that there is something wrong because his father had never called him before. Not even for birthdays.

“Uh, hello, dad?” His voice relays his confusion.

“Why are you at college?” His father’s tone is hard and icy. Jungkook is scared but he holds firm even though he’s not sure why.

“What?”

“Why are you at college?” His father asks again, but this time he lays emphasis on each word and Jungkook can almost hear him grind his teeth in anger.

Jungkook swallows before he speaks again, finding his voice was quivering, “So I can study.”

“Why?”

“So, so that I can take over in your stead.” The volume of his voice slowly diminishes as he continues speaking.

From the silence at the other end, he knows that he had said the right thing. But why was he asking him such inane questions.

“Would I want a fucking faggot to take over a company that has been in my family for years?”

Jungkook doesn’t answer. He can’t breathe. His throat is constricting and tears sting his eyes. His brain telling him this cannot be real.

MY

family. His father’s family.

“Jeon Jungkook, answer me.”

“How, how-

“How do I know?” His father chuckled humourlessly.

“Dad, I can explain.” Jungkook’s voice is trembling as his hands are.

His father cuts him off “Shut up. I don’t want a fucking explanation. I don’t care. Just end it.”

“Dad, please-

“End it now.”

Jungkook’s

heart is in his throat.

“End it now. Or never come back home again.”

Before Jungkook can say anything, his father had hung up. And Jungkook felt like something inside him had died.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Jungkook

He doesn’t know how much more he can handle. He’s absolutely exhausted and he needs something he can’t quite put his hands on.

It plagues him - that night. It’s a thought always stuck to the back of his mind and he can’t handle it. At this point he’s not sure what it is he can handle.

How was he supposed to do it?

He’s selfish. And he’s absolutely disgusted with himself. But how was he supposed to live? He can’t do it but he has to.

Taehyung’s distinctive knock sounds on the door when he arrives.

I love you I love you I love you so much.

When he opens the door, Tae is beaming at him, his laptop in hand. “Netflix and chiiiilllll”

Jungkook remembers when he had asked Taehyung why he brings his laptop when Jungkook has his own perfectly functioning laptop and he had reasoned that his laptop was cheaper by five hundred dollars so if they dropped it during one of their steamy make out sessions, the damage done would be less painful.

He gives Taehyung a small unconvincing smile. His boyfriend steps forward and is about to kiss him. He steps back, dodging Taehyung. “We need to talk.”

“What? Wanna incorporate bdsm into the relationship?” Taehyung asks playfully.

Jungkook’s heart hurts. “Tae, I’m serious.”

He feels tears prick his eyes but he takes a deep breath and sits down at the edge of the bed. His shoes suddenly look very interesting.

Taehyung furrows his brow, the confusion evident on his face. “Babe, is everything alright?”

Jungkook doesn’t know how to soften the blow. He doesn’t know how he can lie poetically. “I can’t be with you anymore.”

Tae kneels in front of him and lifts his chin up, his hands are cold on his face. “What are you talking about?”

He forcefully recoils himself from Taehyung’s touch. “This. This is disgusting! The way you touch me, the things we do. It’s fucking disgusting”

Taehyung falls to his knees. “What-

Jungkook gets off the bed and walks to the other side of the room, “I don’t know what happened to me these past few months but it’s not me. I’m not a - I’m not a fucking faggot.”

He feels his heart sink when he sees the tears in Taehyung’s eyes. Confusion and anger drawn across his face.

I love you I love you I love you

“What is wrong with you?”

Everything.

When Jungkook doesn’t respond, Tae walks over to him. Tears stream down his face and he’s shaking. “Sweetheart, what happened?”

“FUCKING LEAVE ME ALONE! I don’t fucking love you I never have. You were just a stupid fucking experiment and you know what I don’t fucking like men. I’m not gay I’m normal.” He’s about to breakdown, he’s disgusted with the words that come out of his mouth.

Taehyung steps back from him, and Jungkook can’t look at him. He can’t bear to see the sadness or the disgust in his eyes. He can’t take it.

Jungkook hears the gasping sobs that come from Taehyung until they’re on the other side of the door and he finally breaks down.

Jungkook doesn’t know how he can calm down. His heart is beating too fast. He’s so stupid. He’s just a scared kid, a stupid one at that.

He doesn’t even know what time it is. If it’s 12 am or 4, he doesn’t know. But he stumbles for his phone on the nightstand and with his blurry eyes he manages to find the number he’s trying to call.

It rings and it rings and rings and Jungkook is sure that no one is going to pick it up-

“Uh, hello?” The voice says on the other end, his voice confused.

“Jimin? Jimin!” He doesn’t even care how desperate his voice sounds.

He can almost hear the curses that fly through Jimin’s head.

“Jimin, please I know I fucked up. I know but I - I swear I can explain, please Jimin.” He chokes.

Jimin sighs, “Listen, now isn’t a good time okay.”

“Jimin, please -

“Dude, just fuck off. Tae is in the hospital okay, I don’t have time for your whining. Tae’s in real bad shape. Not that you would care of course.”

“Tae? What? What happened?” He’s frantic, his tears choke him like an iron first around his throat. But he receives no answer. Jimin had hung up.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Jungkook

“Gyeom, dude where are you?” Jungkook nearly shouts into the phone.

His friend groans on the other end, “I’m in bed you fucktard - what the - It’s like, three.”

“Tae, taehyung, he’s in the hospital, he’s in the hospital and I don’t know what happened to him.”

“Okay, Kook, calm down. Are you at home?”

He’s frustrated, he’s not moving fast enough. “I’m at home but I need to get to him, I need to.”

“Look, dude, I get it. But it’s three in morning man. Listen to me,” Yugyeom says before Jungkook can protest any further, “your dad is gonna kill you if he knows you’re going out at three am to meet your boyfriend.”

“But Gyeom-

“Kook, we can go to the city tomorrow. And you’ll be with me, no one will suspect a thing. Alright?”

He takes in a deep breath. “Okay, okay.”

“Now get some sleep, you need energy to be a grovelling gay.”

Taehyung

He is on the ground and he can’t catch his breath with kicks being landed to his gut. Everything hurts too much for him to even contemplate how much hurt he is in.

Above him he sees a red and swollen face, shouting obscenities, the fimiliarity of it sends his blood reeling, and what makes it worse is that taunting face is laughing along with the two other men who are beating the life out of him.

He tries to bring his legs closer to his abdomen or use his arms to protect his ribs but their kicks are too fast and one man lands a hard kick to his knee cap. He doesn’t even know which part hurts the most, every muscle in his body is protesting to the blows directed his way and he can’t even shout his chest is on fire.

Please stop. please please please please please.

He prays for sweet oblivion to take him away but time seems to span for hours, every impact excruciating, every breath he takes is laboured, he’s going to die he’s going to fucking die.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Jungkook

He hadn’t known who to call. Jimin was too angry at him and if Jimin was angry at him Yoongi sure as hell wasn’t going to talk to him either. Hoseok wasn’t picking up and from his posts on Instagram, Jin was in frickin’ Oslo.

He called Namjoon, he didn’t know if he would pick up but it was worth a shot anyway.

“Jungkook?”

“Oh god, hyung, hey.” He’s frantic and desperate and he sighs in relief when he hears Namjoon’s voice.

“Hey, man, so you heard from Jimin?”

“He didn’t tell me much. I don’t - I don’t even know what happen.”

“It was his dad.” Jungkook can hear the iciness that binds and breaks his voice. “Anyway, he’s stable now. But he hasn’t woken up yet.”

The tears are pooling in the corner of his eyes, “I’m on my way,”

He hears Namjoon sigh, “Listen, Kook, I would like nothing more than to have you here but - ah goddamn it - you fucked up dude.”

“Joon hyung, please it wasn’t me. I didn’t mean it - I - I had to.” His phone is wet with tears. “I’m with Yugyeom and we’re on our way, he’s coming along with me and I’m on my way.”

“Okay, Kook, alright but know Jimin is gonna strangle you when he sees you.” He says with a humourless chuckle.

The train ride was spent in silence, with Yugyeom throwing worried glances at Jungkook.

Yugyeom tried to coax Jungkook out by telling him stories of university, but nothing draws Jungkook out of his cocoon of self berating. Jungkook just wants the train ride too end, two hours is too much for him. Anything could happen in two hours, whole lives could change (or end) in two hours.

He watches the scenery pass by blindly, nothing seems to make sense, except that he’s not close enough to Taehyung. He can’t sit still and he doesn’t know how many times he can pace the length of the train without the passengers giving him wary looks, so he sits and tries to listen to Yugyeom.

There’s a feeling in the pit of his stomach that makes him feel queasy, if it’s regret? fear? dread? maybe it’s a mixture of all three. He can’t take it anymore.

He only regains focus when Namjoon texts him the address and Jungkook reads the message until he’s had the address memorised and he doesn’t stop reading it until he feels Yugyeom’s arm on his. He knows he can’t do much from where he is but he can’t help but be frustrated at how slow the train is moving despite its speed.

“Kook, hey, listen.” Yugyeom says to him as they stand outside the hospital. “Namjoon said he was alright, and he is, he wouldn’t lie to you.”

Jungkook takes a step closer to Yugyeom, looking into his eyes, the fear almost as clear as the brown of his iris., “Okay, but anything could happen anything could fucking happen. and I - I wasn’t there.”

“You couldn’t have known, Kook.” Yugyeom says.

“No but if I had been there, he wouldn’t have been hurt - he would be okay - I would-

Before he can say much else, he’s choked by tears and he feels Yugyeom’s steady hand lead him toward one of the benches located near the hospital. “I should’ve been there.”

Yugyeom puts an arm around him, stroking his back gently as Jungkook cries, so familiar of the first night he had gone home, crying to Yugyeom about what he had done. “Look, you can’t dwell on that now. I know it hurts, I get it, but you need to be there for him when he wakes up - yes

when

- you need to be there for him.”

“But he hates me I know he does.” Jungkook cries.

“And he has the right to, Kook, look I’m sorry to say this but you broke his heart. But that doesn’t mean you can’t fix it.” Yugyeom takes a deep breath, “You need to fix it, you need to stop being a coward. Maybe this isn’t the right time to say it, but stop being so afraid.”

Yugyeom takes Jungkook’s arm, “Get up. and go inside, you’ll have to face your friends sooner or later so get it over with now before he wakes up so no one stabs you while you stare longingly into his eyes.”