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It’s really quiet at the hotel room. Taehyung thinks that he can even pretend that he’s back where he spent his childhood with his grandparent back in Daegu if he closes his eyes. The only window in the room gives view to the world in front of him, so he decides do quickly shuts it. Tae misses his childhood how everything wasn’t his fault yet. How people around him were still with him.But he knows that this is over now.Now he has the urban capitalist world he’s in it. A place that people like him won’t make it to the strainer of success. He always knew the way he sees the world is different. His grandmother told him that. He always thought it was a good thing. It made him unique. Nowadays, he’s not so sure. His peculiarity didn’t make him unique in this world. It just made him dumb and stupid.Tae didn’t know when he started to see himself like that, but he has a clue. When he was taken as a trainee, he supposed to have confidence enough to be who he is. That’s why he thought when someone found him back in Daegu. Then time passed. BTS happened. He tried to ignore that fact that he went a year hiding before coming out as a secret member. He thought it was because of his parent’s resistance. He tried to ignore how people would look different at him and not because they recognize him or something, but because the way he thinks and sense is not like them. He tried to normalize his panic attacks in the middle of the night, of rehearsal, of tour. He didn’t make it a big deal.But the moment he realized he didn’t belong in such a smart and intelligent environment was when he fell in love with Jeon Jeongguk.He never knew how to name what he had with Jeongguk. That shy boy in the middle of a room catches his eyes on him and Taehyung knew he had to keep that person in his life. But soon, he realized how perfect he was. He was part of the dance line, of the vocal line, he produced, creates, photographs, records. And he’s not arrogant, he’s just confident. They’d walk holding hands, they’d hug and kiss each other in the darkness of his room, hands all over each other. He didn’t know how to name what they had, he just knew that when they were together, it was like childhood. No, it was like this hotel room. He could pretend everything’s perfect, but it wasn’t real.But the Kim is not that dumb. He knew he had something with such an incredible person who would never say how much out of his league he is. He knows, no matter how much his Soulmate, Park Jimin, tells him otherwise. He also not even half as perfect as him neither. Nor Namjoon, nor Jin, nor Yoongi, nor Hoseok. Nor anyone in this world. Twitter also knows that. When Jeongguk kissed him on new year’s eve, knew he didn’t deserved that kiss. He knew he didn’t deserve to have his first time with someone so perfect. He doesn’t deserve what he has. He can’t do the balance because he’s not enough.—Hyung— The maknae’s voice took him out of his thoughts. His beautiful form appear in light close to him, his hand gently on his waist.— You’re doing it again.—Doing what— The older holds the wrist of his free hand, always admiring how flawless the younger is.—That thing of going to your own little world. I wish you could go there with you— He moves the hand from Kim’s waist to his jawline, then his lateral forehead—It must be such a lovely place.—If you could go to my mind, you would take every single doubt of wanting to be with me. You would run for the hills. —He affirmed. Jungkook frowned.—Now you’re doing that other thing again— He looked mad now.—What? —He was hesitant, but asked anyway.—That thing of making yourself look horrible. Of killing your self-esteem.—I don’t— He said back— I’m just realistic, that’s all.—Realistic of what?—It’s my birthday. You really wanna talk about my flaws today? I was hoping to forget about that today.— Tae tried to change the subject, but Jeongguk wouldn’t give up so easily—Flaws? Is that what you think of you mind?He remained silent.—Tae, you have one of the most brilliant minds I’ve ever seen!—Don’t. —He demanded— Don’t lie to me like that.—I’m not lying!—Yes, you are! You are saying things but in this world, they don’t match, Jeongguk. I know and you know it too. I don’t keep up with things, I have to re-record my part in songs, sometimes I don’t understand a simple joke, I don’t like the same music as most people, I take decades to learn, I make the same mistakes, every time, I don’t have any talent!—He snapped. He has been holding this for so long, it’s almost good to let it out to the one he loves so much. — I’m selfish to stay with the six of you, I’m coward for not letting you have someone better-He was interrupted by the younger when he pressed Taehyung against the first wall he could think and kissed him roughly. V could sense his anger, but also how desperate he was. Jeon ran his fingers through Tae’s hair with one hand and put some pressure along with his body on his waistline. Kissing with them was always like this. One always had some feeling to show but somehow couldn’t and other was always available to receive. When the younger stopped the kiss, having trouble to breathe he said.—We live in a cruel world, Tae. Not long ago our country was in the hand of another country. Us being together still a problem to mean people. Different ethnic’s achievements still a problem to the privileged side. Women empowerment still a problem to large ego-insecure people. Those, Tae, are dumb and stupid people. They don’t realize the real deal. They don’t know what’s important. You have a unique mind, Tae. And is a good thing. Is something that I look for in life. The way you see the world is not a retraction, is forward. And you know that. That’s why you haven’t stop. You’re still you. Your voice’s still your voice. What a gorgeous voice! And I love every single piece of you. You know what’s needed in this world. The only thing that you need to know is that you are also perfect. Your voice, the way you dance, the way you talk, and laugh, the way you see nature. The admiration you have for this world. People like you are going to stop a war, Tae.He broke the maknae’s speech to kiss him with intensity.—You’ve never said that before. —Kim said.—What?—That you loved me. You never said before.He gently laughed.—Well, I actually said I loved every piece of you but— He looked in his eyes— I do. With all of my heart.—That’s a hell of a birthday gift.—Wait until the night’s over.Taehyung and Jeongguk’s relationship was always uncertain. Taehyung never thought he deserved him. But at that December night, he knew everything was going to be okay. They needed each other. And all of his other problems would have to deal with himself later, because he did one thing right.He could finally name what they had. But he didn’t have to. He could call it what he wanted to. So, just call it what you want.