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"You are free to choose." It sure didn’t feel like it. Zuko felt his fire burn deeply, flaring like rampant ember even as Azula left with her Dai Li agents. No Mai, no Ty Lee, just him and Uncle. Immediately upon her departure, he was tempted to run after her, try to return and make his father happy. Then he halted his movement, looking back at his uncle. Iroh had been more of a father to him Ozai ever had, he took care of him in his time of need, when he could do nothing more than lie helplessly in a bed, eyes both blind and both ears deaf and useless with 'sympathetic blindness' and 'sympathetic deafness' as the healer had called it. Every time he passed out of exhaustion during training, Iroh had been there to care for him. When he could no longer see from his left eye and had to be trained to 'see' through his firebending, through what his uncle had lovingly named spectrumbending, allowing him to 'see' the heat spectrum through his bending to make up for his loss of sight. Iroh, who had been there for him no matter how hard it got for them. Iroh, who made the last three years feel like they healed a lifetime of pain. A lifetime of pain that all came from the one person that had hurt him and cast him out like trash, like he was nothing to him. His inner fire spiked rage at Ozai, at the man who ruined him and had controlled him. His father held not even a spark of respect in Zuko's being when he compared the two. Zuko began trying to pry his unce free from the crystal encasement almost as instinct, a faulty one because the crystal wouldn't budge."You are noble, Nephew. But it will not move. It is best you leave me. I can handle myself. You go stop Azula." Iroh told him. Yet still he continued, hands throwing fire at the crystals. He panted after a few minutes of failed attempts, winded."They…won't…break." He managed between gasps for air."They are too strong for you, Zuko. I can manage on my own. I wish for you to be safe. A young boy like you would never survive well in Fire Nation prisons. So please go, please?" Iroh asked of him."Uncle…" He just couldn't finished and he felt tears spilling over his face from his good eye."You must break the pull your father has you. He is a vile man, and has done vile things to his own children. I wish you safety, Zuko. And staying with me will not bring it. Please heed an old man's wishes?" He felt like crying but he shoved the need down."I love you, Uncle. You're more my father than he is." And that made Iroh smile with love toward him.“Go, Zuko.” He urged him.'I'll find a way to free you from Ozai.' He promised, if he would run off and leave him to be taken prisoner, then he would be the best damn nephew Iroh could ask for."I trust you will. Be safe, Zuko." His heart nearly skipped a beat having to leave, it hurt to do so. But then he had to run off, hearing yelling down the caverns, surely meaning a fight. He followed down crystal halls to the heat of his sister. It was just in time too. He saw her shoot a bolt of lightning aimed straight at the glowing Avatar. Immediately reacting, he dove to intercept it, electricity thrumming through his body and he felt like he was flying for a second, trying to remember to redirect it.'Down. Up. In. Out.' His brain fed the motions to him but he only managed to get so much out before he hit the ground. He’d kept it too close. Too much of it remained in his body and it was jolting him in and out of conscious. He felt bile rise up and his stomach void in front of him, body still shocking with remnant electricity as he tried to absorb it, tried to force it out, but it hurt. His breath was too hard but he forced himself up, only to intercept fire against his shoulder that sent him back down, shaking. He sent as destructive a blast of fire as he could, forcing his heatbending to find what should be his sister's heat signature as he did so. His fire radiated warmth as he forced it toward his sister. He heard her scream and felt her heat fall to the ground not a few yards from him. He felt nauseous again but he felt darkness take him before his body could do anything else about the urge. It wasn't a blinded darkness, just…peaceful, content, blissful even.
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He woke up to arguing voices and he gave a soft noise, feeling his right eye, assuring himself there was indeed no scar, thankfully. He didn’t need to feel even more insecure right now. Unfortunately, the noise he made by accident made the people around him stop arguing and pay full attention to him. He was too drowsy to spectrumbend right now, or even firebend or heatbend for that matter. He was just too tired and everything ached.“Hey, you alive?” Came a voice. He knew that voice. He’d hunted that voice for half a year, across the world and back. So yeah, it was familiar. That was…“So…kka…” His hand involuntarily reached out and grasped the offered one Sokka had put close to him. He heard and felt Sokka jolt with the remnant electricity. His lungs still felt tight. “’m…So…rry…” He managed to slur the apology before he passed out again, breathing apparently way harder than he thought he was. But he woke up to Sokka still holding his hand and he curled against it, comfortable. He felt a body against his suddenly as he’d moved closer and nearly jolted himself back away. But then he felt Sokka’s hand slip from his own and a protective arm get thrown over him.“You’re okay.” Came Sokka’s sleepy slur. And then the Water Tribe boy began humming softly, sleepily, almost as if he himself was also half-awake, had felt him wake up and was luring him back to sleep. Zuko couldn’t help but let himself get lulled back to sleep by it. He woke up again to feel that Sokka had sat up, was stretching, as he could hear his back popping as he did. Zuko tried to heatbend again and, slowly, managed. He could sense Sokka now as he left remnant heat patterns with his hands on the blankets as he put them over the firebender instead, intending to get up but Zuko hoped he would stay close, he hated being dependant but he didn't want to be alone yet. Zuko blinked awake, rubbing the crust from his eyes so he could at least open them, despite how useless they were. “Sorry, man. I didn’t mean to wake you.” Came Sokka nearby, he felt for the remnant heat, sensing him moving toward something that didn't contain heat, he guessed some kind of metal box, possibly a nightstand or table.“It’s okay. I can’t sleep my life away.”“After a stunt like that? You deserve to sleep a lifetime away and hope to be reincarnated into a dragon. You deserve it.” He felt the compliment in his voice. It was a quiet silence for a few minutes, Zuko waking up and Sokka doing...whatever he was doing. Not knowing was very much bothering the firebender.“What are you doing?” Zuko asked, curiosity finally getting the better of him.“…I’m brushing my hair. You can’t see that?” Sokka sounded confused. He guessed anyone would, given that he didn't know what had happened to his sight. How could they know? He'd been sleeping of unconscious the whole time he was wherever they were. He'd had no ability to answer any questions yet.“The lightning made me blind. This time it’s probably permanent.” He pushed himself to sit up and run his fingers through his long hair. It was shaggy and would only be getting longer. Somehow he embraced that, it might hide his surely shaking eyes. After all, his left always had more after the accident, it was very possible his right now matched, now shook in those unmanageable, nauseating, disorienting circles. At least now he could probably focus his energy sensing better. There would be a positive side, Zuko would always find it, always follow Iroh’s words, be the best person he could to make him as proud as he knew Lu Ten had and still would have if only he could have come home.“Oh.” So much pity in just that one syllable.“Don’t. Don’t pity me. I’m fine. I’ve had worse.” He felt around on his person, he had been changed? Maybe he’d gotten his bile on himself in the heat of the Catacombs. His fingers trailed along the fabric to feel where it ended.“Oh yeah. We had to change you. Well, more like I had to change you. Apparently nobody else here is comfortable enough with themselves so I said screw it and did it. You got throw up on your pants and your shirt got all torn up during the fight. They're spare clothes from the storage on the ship. THey might be a bit baggy on you. There wasn't a smaller size.” Now that he mentioned it, the clothes did feel a bit baggy and baggy meant more remnant warmth to savour and feed off of and take into his system, recharging his energy so he could hopefully spectrumbend soon, hopefully be useful again sooner.“Thanks. It’s warm.” He wasn’t aware his arms huddled to his chest, taking in the energy of the warmth, until he felt Sokka’s heat drop to sit in front of him.“Well you’re a firebender so…” Sokka told him, chuckling a bit.“No, warm means more energy. More energy means I can use my spectrumbending sooner. And firebender’s tend to run colder than you’d think.” Zuko told him.“Spectrumbending? What in the name of Yue is that? How does warmth make energy? Did you get hit in the head too hard?” Sokka asked. He glared at his heat signature.“Spectrumbending is a type of firebending. I had to learn it. My left eye went completely blind and it took my right eye with it for a year. The healer told me and Uncle Iroh that it was sympathy blindness. Then my right ear kept ringing for the rest of the year too. All I had was taste, smell, and touch for months like a pitiful little fire rat. I forced myself to learn how to track heat and, later, use energy to sense the heat spectrum, I created spectrumbending from necessity. I can't use it as often anymore because it takes too much energy and concentration.” Sokka made an intrigued noise as he spoke, drawn in as he leaned forward to listen intently.“Oh.” He got it. Someone got it besides Uncle, or rather he guessed Father now. Dad, though, seemed more forgiving. Dad. He had a Dad, one who cared. “And also. Fire Nation people run cold? How in the name of La do they do that?” Sokka asked.“We’re cold people. It’s why nobody else can heatbend, or spectrumbend. Except Avatar Roku. But he was always different, I remember my mother saying that. He ran really high for a firebender, it’s probably because he lived next to an active volcano, though.”“Then how come you run high?”“I don’t. I actually run unusually low. Meditation helps sometimes, and keeping lots of candles lit. I can take the heat to make energy, then transfer the energy to tracing the heat spectrum, then I can kind of see, or rather feel. Your friend Toph’s way of seeing more or less.” He explained.“So are you spectrumbending now?”“No, it requires a lot of energy. Right now I’m heatbending. Sensing your heat signature. Avatar Roku used this technique to try to save his home island. By bending the heat from lava, I use it to find people's body heats.”“Can you 'see’?” He could sense the air quotes.“Yes, you’re in front of me, about a foot or so. I think the hairbrush is still in your hand because there’s remnant heat in something right here.” He reached and felt the hairbrush in Sokka’s right hand, before letting it go. Their fingers touched and Zuko couldn't help but feel a small jolt of electricity where their hands met.“That actually really cool. I wish I could firebend now.”“It’s a universal skill actually. Monks used this ability with air pressure, so did more ancient waterbenders with the cold rather than heat. Older scrolls of earthbenders say there’s ways that they can use glass as a way of reading the auras or the sick and weak so they could cure them better.” Sokka sat forward a bit, interested and invested in his talking and explaining.“You know a lot of things.” He sounded very genuinely impressed, awed by his wealth of knowledge.“There’s a lot of bending abilities that are overlooked. Uncle and I learned about them searching for ways so that I could see again, after my ear stopped ringing so much and I could hear again. I gathered and saved many old scrolls from destruction during my first year of travel.”"So where are all these scrolls?” He chuckled at the obvious raise of his eyebrows, he felt Sokka’s eyes on him.“There’s lots of them, from all over. I saved them all so they wouldn’t get hurt. They’re in the Western Air Temple, buried deep in their catacombs. It’s the last place people would look because it’s the first place I would, the first place I always have. The Western Air Temple was my home for three months when I was blind and deaf. I learned my way through their catacombs before I even learned how to read again.”“You forgot how to read?” Sokka asked.“Any blind person can tell you, visual memory doesn’t last long. A reflexive visual like writing? I just couldn’t remember what the letters looked like anymore. Uncle gave up teaching me the second time after a couple months. It's not like I could read properly in the first place.” Sokka shifted, seeming a bit uncomfortable.“Sorry.”“You don’t have to be. It’s an innocent question and I’m happy to answer it.” Zuko gave him a hopefully comforting smile. He felt Sokka’s heat signature spike as he ran his fingers through his messy hair, taming it slightly.“Oh here.” Sokka handed him the brush. Indeed, remnant heat resigned itself in the brush. He brushed through the fluffy locks and tamed then down to cooperate. “Your hair’s covering your eyes a bit.” Sokka played with a piece of the fringe covering his eyes.“It’s better it does. So nobody has to see my eyes shake. My Lieutenant said it’s very…disorienting to others.” Sokka moved the fringe from his face and moved closer, seemingly staring into his eyes.“Their not disorienting. The color’s really pretty actually, makes up for all the moving.” Sokka asked.“They naturally shake. They’ve done that since I was a baby. Granted, the blindness made them worse.” He explained the shake of his eyes.“They’re pretty. Shaking and all.” Zuko felt a blush creep up his face. Why did such a cute boy have to say something so adorable!? “Oh my Yue, you’re blushing. That’s so cute!” Sokka let go of his hair and gave a chuckle. He blushed darker, looking away.“A-Anyway.” He handed him the hairbrush back. Sokka took it, still snickering softly.“So, my dad wanted to talk to you when you woke up.” Sokka alerted him.“Okay, sure.” He didn’t realize that meant he was alone for around ten minutes before Sokka could find his father and send him back to him, let alone that Sokka was not coming back with him. He took a breath to calm down first.“Hi, boy.” He could hear the contempt in his voice. “I hear you followed my children around the globe and then just to save the Avatar you’ve been hunting? Why did you change your mind?” He sounded angry, drunk? Yes, he smelled deeply of alcohol. He wasn’t scared to respond, scared to breathe wrong. In his mind, he was a scared little kid being tormented by Azula and then beaten by Ozai all while Ursa was kept occupied with Azulon. “Answer me, boy!” He shot back, eyes shut tightly and trembling. Sure, he had wealth of knowledge, but it did nothing to save him from those memories of his father beating him, hurting him, playing those games.“S-Sir.” Dammit, his had voice shook with weakness. Now he’d be done away with, dumped on the Fire Lord’s steps to await his traitorous fate, or perhaps his now much more literal blind subjugation and enslavement to his father’s whim.“Dad, Bato said you’re too dru-” That was Sokka. But he was cut short by a smack that sent Zuko to the floor, head hitting the wooden side of a nearby nightstand next to the cot. He trembled with weakness, mind racing through pain and memories.“That’s not an answer, boy!” He gave a pitiful whimper, heatbending suddenly cut off and he was in the dark again, body unable to sense anything but the pain radiating. He heard Sokka growl and then felt someone covering him with their own body, protecting him.“Dad, stop! What are you doing!?”“He won’t answer my questions, Sokka!”“Maybe he didn’t know how! And you're too drunk! You need to go wait outside for Bato!” Sokka shot back, hands gingerly checking on Zuko’s head. Then darkness again. He woke up with a bandage on his head, hands tangled with fabric that wasn’t his own. He felt warm, so warm with an arm over him. He buried into it, into what felt like a boy his age. Sokka. He was so warm and clingy and he needed it. He drew in some of the warmth, building up a storage of energy. Sokka began humming again, waking up partially from the sapping. Zuko stopped, but Sokka gave a groan and then he felt him smile against his temple. “You run low, I run high.” Sokka told him, depositing him to the bed to stretch, back popping and Zuko hoped it wasn’t laying with him doing that to Sokka.“Is you back popping because you’re sharing a bed with me?” Zuko asked.“No, it does that. Months of sleeping on Appa, ya know? It does things to a guy’s back.” Sokka explained, letting Zuko calm down. Maybe they could talk more. “Oh. And I had to tell Toph that you’re blind. I'm really sorry. She was curious of the yelling yesterday. She overheard me telling my dad.” Zuko’s stomach dropped. Hakoda knew his weakness. Maybe he had enough energy to use his spectrumbending. But, alas, it simply made him buzz with too much energy. “You okay? You seem way too eager.” Sokka asked.“I thought I had enough warmth for energy to spectrumbend, but I don’t so now I’m really really full of energy and nowhere for it to go and-uff” Sokka brought him in to hug him sideways. Slowly, he figured out Sokka wanted him to take warmth for energy and he began to rest against him, aura stealing excess warmth from the other teen that offered it so willingly. It built into a lot of energy and, eventually, he had enough to spectrumbend for a while, given he put himself through minimal stress. He drew back when he realized how much warmth he’d taken to spectrumbend for that long. But Sokka seemed unaffected, thankfully.“See? Told you I run high. I run higher than a lot of waterbenders do. Katara gets jealous of it sometimes.” Sokka told him. He gave a breath, calming himself and meditated a moment, clearing his head and opening his mind’s eye, allowing him to spectrumbend again. Agni, he hadn’t done this in months, since before he’d found out about the Avatar. Since then his mind had been too cluttered. Suddenly the world came to life instead of having just one heat signature in the room he could feel, he could feel the cold things too, the hot things, and everything in between. After almost two years of leaving his mind’s eye almost always open, he barely had to try to open it again. It was a trained instinct now. “You good?” Sokka asked.“The world is back.” He smiled, finally able to push himself up and stretch, finally able to do his morning warm ups again.“All that energy gets to you, doesn’t it?” Sokka asked.“No. I did this in the Fire Nation. Ty Lee taught me gymnastics because I couldn’t firebend and it’s better you stretch every morning so you don’t need to if you have to use tricks through the day. So you don’t hurt yourself.” He explained.“That awesome. A blind gymnast.”“It’ll probably work better now, actually. I always had balance problems with my eyes shaking when I could see. It made the world shake too much. Ty Lee was worried I’d never be able to balance but it’s easy once you figure out where in the world the ground is.” Zuko chuckled, stretching his arms.“Oh and my dad was super drunk yesterday. I’m really sorry he hit you. He said he’d apologize when you woke up. He said he didn’t mean it and he was just not in the right headspace and yeah…” Zuko flicked his eyes toward his heat signature.“It’s fine. He doesn’t need to apologize. I’m a firebender, he has right to hate me as much as he wants.” He looked toward the intense heat signature, noting that Sokka truly did run very high for a normal Water Tribe non-bender, compared to how much heat Hakoda had given off the day prior.“Yeah, sure he can hate you all he wants. But it doesn’t mean he can hit you. He knows better than to hit a kid who couldn’t defend himself.”“’M not a kid.” He bitterly grumbled.“Okay. A bitter, angry emo teenager with trust issues who couldn’t defend himself.” Zuko couldn’t help but snort laughter and fall from his stretch still snickering. “Shit, you okay?” Sokka asked.“I’m okay.” He was busy snickering as Sokka hauled him to sit on the ground.“Good. Don’t need our emo injured.”“For true emo, you should meet Mai. She’s worse than me.”“I severely doubt that.”“She once had a vow of silence for a year. It was over a dragonflower Ty Lee gave her dying.”“Oh. Yeah, that’s probably a lot worse than you.”“She and I fell in a water fountain and she brooded over it for three years.”“Okay, a lot worse.” Zuko became comfortable. It was easy to smile next to Sokka.“So I’ll get my Dad. I’ll stay with you two this time. He said he still wants to ask some questions if you feel up to it. Toph said she’ll stay with you while I wake him up.” Sokka alerted him.“Where is she?” He legitimately couldn’t find her heat signature. He thought they were the only two in the room.“She’s in the next room over. I’ll send her in and go get my Dad.” Sokka told him. Thanks to feeling autonomous, Zuko got up and felt at the wooden chair at the wooden table that held various self-care supplies. He began brushing his hair out.“Hey, Sparky. How’s blind life going?” Toph’s voice came. He smiled at it.“It’s good so far. Not too difficult compared to half blind and half deaf.” He held the hair over his left ear to brush it against his hand instead of agitate the melted, useless cartilage.“Wait. How are you moving around so quickly? You're blind.” Toph asked.“I lived half blind. I can live fully blind too. I’ve never given up yet, I don’t intend to now.” He heard her chuckle at that.“You’re stubborn, I’ll give you that. You’ll survive blind.” She sat on the ground nearby. He set the brush down and sat across from her.“I should hope I will, I intend to become a Bending Master. Show other firebenders how to survive with their disabilities.”“Just firebenders?” Toph asked.“It’s all I can teach. Just like you could only teach earthbenders.” And she made a sudden hum of realization noise.“You use an extension of firebending to see, don’t you?” She asked.“Me and my Uncle invented it together. He can’t use it as well as I can.”“So, Sparky. What’s your sight extension?” Toph asked.“Heatbending. It’s a tactic my great grandfather, Roku, invented by necessity, living on an active volcano and all. It lets me feel where heat signatures are. He used it to redirect heat from the lava. And then there’s spectrumbending, which I can’t do as often anymore. If I take in enough heat and transfer it to energy, I can see, in my head, where things are, even if they’re really cold. I can sense the hot and cold spectrum, all of it.”“That’s pretty cool, Heater.”“Oh please, Sokka’s more of a heater than me. If he had waterbending like his sister, surely he’d take to bending steam and boiling water like a dragon moth to flame.” Toph chuckled at that.“Think I would, do ya?” Came Sokka’s voice and he blushed darkly that he really just said that while Sokka was present.“I mean-” He tried to correct himself.“Hey, I get it.” Sokka assured him, sitting next to him again, who must have been Hakoda sitting down directly across from Zuko himself.“So um…I’m very sorry about hitting you yesterday. It was uncalled for and rude. I was very drunk, though that’s not an excuse. I hope you can forgive my disgraceful actions. If you can't, though, I'll understand.”“You were already forgiven, Sir. I’ve had worse.” He smiled toward Hakoda, hopefully it was assuring and not displaying how he was bitter at Ozai for ruining his childhood. He felt all three’s heat signatures move. Sokka seemed to move forward. Sokka drew more of his attention than Hakoda and Toph moving back, as he was simply getting closer, seeming to examine his body language. Agni, he hoped that didn’t give anything away.“You keep saying that you’ve had worse. What in the mane of the Spirit do you even mean by that?” Sokka asked.“I just have.” He felt like closing himself off and turning off his bending, not using it until he was sure he was alone to manage then. But he persevered, he couldn’t be scared of his past forever, especially when the threat loomed over his little sister, over the world, now. “My father is an awful excuse of a human and a waste of breath. The things he’s done to me have been worse than a little hit. So yeah, I’ve much survived worse than being smacked a little bit. At my second worst, I’ve survived simultaneously blind and deaf with an infected burn mark, a soldier’s lifetime of PTSD shoved in a thirteen year old body, unable to speak, all alone, and having an autistic meltdown in the catacombs of an air temple suspended over a cliff with absolutely no way of knowing when I’d fall off or out.” Zuko cursed himself inwardly revealing that much of his weaknesses.“Second worst…” Sokka muttered.“Stories for another day. You’ll surely learn it soon enough.” He was sure he was grimacing in hatred at his father’s memory, at how badly Ozai had ruined him, his only son.“No matter what you’ve gone through, me hitting you is inexcusable, especially when you can’t…”“See?” No response besides Sokka’s soft exhale, his soft realization that Hakoda was pitying Zuko. He felt Toph’s temperature skyrocket with what must be anger. “I’m no helpless, hopeless, pitiful little fox bat. I don’t need pity because I can’t see.” He ground out, trying to contain himself but also keep himself from being pitied.“I’m not saying you are a fox bat, Prince Zu-” He couldn’t help himself.“I haven’t been a Prince in three years. I’m Zuko Roku. Prince Zuko Sozin doesn’t exist anymore.” He felt Toph put her hand on his upper arm to calm him. He stopped speaking to make himself breathe and calm down, forcing himself to breathe deeply and release a deep exhale. “Sorry. But I don’t like being pitied like a helpless little child. I was trying to say I’m capable to taking care of myself.” He felt the Chief nod.“So you have ways of being able to keep yourself from falling overboard? Because you are on a ship.”“I’ve ran a tightrope with the world spinning. I can keep myself on a boat, Chief.”“World spinning?”“My eyes have shook since I was a baby. My mother called it nystagmus. The world shook when I looked at it. It's a symptom of what she and all the healers called retinitis pigmentosa, I would have gone blind anyway, I would have had this level of blindness eventually, anyway. Going blind now is probably more merciful than losing it slowly and suffering longer.”“Retinitis pigmentosa?” It was Toph who asked.“It makes you lose your sight slowly, it caves in and takes your vision until the tunnels close and you just can’t see anymore.” Zuko explained, guessing she’d heard of it before, what with her being born blind.“That’s gotta suck. Just waiting until that one day you can’t see anymore.” Sokka commented.“At least losing it meant something. I stopped her from killing Aang. It’s better than losing what I had left for nothing.” He felt Toph hug him.“For a most noble cause, Blindness Buddy. We’re gonna get along really well, I can already tell.” Toph ruffled his hair, it seemed to have revealed his eyes to Hakoda.“They really do shake.” Hakoda breathed.“My mother said they go in circles. I could never look at a mirror to see them. They never stayed focussed long enough for me to look.” His brain felt like it backtracked a few minutes on what he’d heard Sokka say when he left to get Toph and then his father. “Sokka said you wanted to question me if I felt up to it, right?” He wanted to confirm this.“Yes. But only if you’re up to it. You can't be stressing yourself too much.” Hakoda confirmed.“Anything you need. Though some of my Fire Nation information may be a bit laughably useless.” He felt Hakoda tense a bit.“Actually, we were planning an invasion. At their most vulnerable.” His eyes widened and his head shot up at him.“The Day of the Black Sun.” He felt sick to his stomach.“Yes. The day that the Fire Nation loses its bending.”“I’ll be less than useless then. Let me be useful while I can. I know my father, better than even my mother did. He would never change, he’s too narcissistic. He thinks he’s perfect.” He felt his nose scrunch remembering the words.‘I’m perfect, Zuko. You are imperfect, faulty, useless. Now kneel and bow to your Fire Lord.’ He felt his teeth showing, nearly snarling as he remembered the pain of his fingers breaking that night. he instinctively moved them, made sure they were still working and not broken.“Good to know someone has more Daddy Issues than I do.” Toph patted his back.'You don’t know the half of it.' He thought.“But the invasion. Ozai is nothing if not a careful planner. There’s not much you can do in terms of fighting him. He’s too much a brute, it’s…bad.” He really could have chosen a better word. Terrifying, horrifying, disgusting, and nauseating all sprung to mind as well.“Bad? Just bad?” Hakoda asked. Zuko knew he meant no harm in the sentence but he could only feel it had defamed what he’d said.“Terrifying, horrifying, nauseating, disgusting, paralyzing, savage, barbaric. He’s a monster and he’s proud of it.” He could feel the growl building in his throat but coughed to stop himself. He would not become the feral animal that Ozai had made him three years ago. “Ozai is crazy, yes. But he’s not stupid. Any attempt on anything but his life will fail. He won’t just not fight back, bending or not.” Zuko felt his energy drain and it left him in a moment of panic as he had to turn off his spectrumbending to preserve energy. He could survive using his heatbending. He took a deep breath.“You okay, Motion Sensor?” Toph asked.“Stress makes my energy get too low. I can’t use my spectrumbending right now. Heatbending is fine to work with.”“Ever an optimist.” Toph joked, elbowing him a bit, making him laugh a bit.“Iroh taught me well. There’s always something positive that can come from a negative.” His whole body felt tired. “What time is it? It doesn’t feel like sundown.”“Just about time for breakfast. Aang said he’d make it early given you and Sokka woke up just after sunrise.” Wow, he woke up really early, usually, yes, he’d wake with the sun, but now that meant he’d woke up Sokka, Toph, and Hakoda very early too. He deflated a bit.“I'm so sorry for waking you all so early.” He apologized.“No problem, Sparky.”“One question for now, Zuko. THe others can be saved for later.” Hakoda told him.“Anything.” He wanted to be useful and not some blind helpless bat on the eclipse.“Will you be assisting us during the eclipse? Or will you be joining your father again?” That was an easily answered but heavily asked question. Obviously, it meant a lot to Aang and his friends, but it was quite possibly the easiest answered question he’d ever been asked.“I never want to see him ever again. After how badly he fucked up my childhood, my body, my face, my self-worth, and my life? I hope he kills himself out of guilt and saves Aang the work.” He knew it was probably horrible to say, horrible to think such traitorous, vile things about his own father. But it was never as if his father hadn’t wished or done worse to Zuko himself."I think you should get breakfast and calm down, then we'll continue talking." Hakoda didn't sound angry, just concerned. But thank Agni it wasn't pity.“Okay, so breakfast. Let’s go.” Sokka told the other three. Zuko meant to get up, feeling Hakoda shuffle out and Toph and Sokka stand up. But heatbending left him a bit, he would never admit, helpless. “Want me to help? Since you can’t see the walls or anything right now.” Sokka offered.“If it wouldn’t bother you.” He didn’t want Sokka helping him if it would hinder his own needs.“Not at all. Come on.” Sokka hauled him to his feet and he led him out the hallway, Zuko’s hand trailing on the wall, memorizing the layout so he could one day be autonomous on this big ship alone. He realized he didn’t want to be alone, not yet.“Hey, Zuko!” He flinched at the sudden loud voice and he stumbled back, falling against the wall for safety, heat throttling in his throat. Wait, the voice. It was young and energetic, nothing like the loud, booming, deep voice his father had, the one that haunted his nightmares and dream alike.“Aang, you scared him.” Sokka chastised as Zuko used the wall to get back to his feet, Sokka grabbing his shoulders when he managed. It sounded like a four way hall, this was just below deck if the ship design was anything like his own. The stairs down to the kitchens should be to Zuko's right.“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it.” He sounded sad. He shouldn’t, it was Ozai’s difficult-to-break programming of his own son, his manipulation and years of abuse.“It wasn’t your fault. I just don’t have good reactions to loud things.” He explained.“Oh. Sorry.” Aang apologized again.“Don’t be.” He would curse himself if he discouraged the Avatar of all people.“Your eyes are shaking pretty hard. Are you okay?” Aang asked.“Taking the lightning made me go blind. It damaged my eyes more than they already were.” He could sense Aang’s heat deflate, sad again. “And don’t you feel bad about that. I did it myself, it was my choice. I would have ended up blind anyway. This was just quicker.” He tried to take the burden of knowing it had been to save him from Aang’s shoulders. Aang was younger than him and he shouldn’t have to deal with the weight of guilt, let alone the fate of the world. He remembered being that young once, but had not the innocence and wonder at the world Aang did. His youth had been corrupted, he wouldn't allow Aang's to be.“Huh? Why would you end up blind?” Aang seemed to perk up a bit, Sokka guiding him to keep moving, turning the hallway as Aang followed.“I was born with a disease in my eyes that causes them to slowly lose sight. This is merciful, I don’t have the weight of not knowing anymore. It helped.” Aang’s heat signature lit up excitedly and Sokka chuckled at the airbender, he guessed Aang was bouncing as his heat signature wasn’t quite touching the floor."Oh, the murderous ghost is awake." Commented someone Zuko could recognize."What? Jet?" Zuko whipped to where he felt Jet's heat signature."You mean loverboy didn't tell you? The whole world thinks the Fire Prince is dead and the Princess was injured, got burns all over her body." His breath felt too hard, he could feel himself hyperventilating but couldn't stop it."Stop it, Jet. I didn't want to spring it on him. He can't deal with this much change right now!" Sokka seemed pissed from what he could hear over his own heartbeat throbbing in his ears.'I destroyed her like Father destroyed me.' Zuko thought. He could feel himself shaking but he couldn't just run, where could he go? What would he do with himself? He burned his own little sister. The memory of skin scorching, the smell of sickening, disgusting smell of metallic barbecue invaded his senses as a memory followed by the sickly sweet smell of infection. The memory of the scent brought a flood of memories he'd tried to suppress rushing back.'Stay still or it will only hurt more, Zuko.' Ozai's voice seemed to echo even above his heartbeat in his ears. He felt tears fall down, arms clutching his clothes as he faced his head down. How long until they found out what he let happen? His heart throbbed in his chest, he couldn't take being alone again."Zuko, calm down." He felt Sokka gripping his upper arms, trying to calm him down. He buried into the Water Tribe boy, trying not to cry aloud, trying not to be weak. But he eventually began hiccupping while Sokka hushed him, rubbing over his back as a comfort. "She's fine, okay? You didn't do much more than burn her." That was what he hated. He forced down his tears, hands furiously wiping his eyes and he hated feeling like a sniveling, scared child."She's my little sister and I treated her no better than he treated me." He felt like firebending, like banging on a wall until it broke, screaming until he was mute from hurting his vocal cords."I get it, okay? I'd never forgive myself for hurting Katara, even if she went crazy. But she's a big girl. Azula can handle a few little burns." He forced himself not to stiffen at the thought of burning his little sister, not to alert Sokka that he still wanted to cry.'That's what I'm worried about.' He didn't say it. But he was scared Ozai would treat Azula like he'd treated him. He let Sokka lead him to the kitchens for breakfast.
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There was sound everywhere, Zuko couldn't tell if Sokka was talking, or Toph, or Jet, or Aang. It was an incessant chatter and he couldn't take it. Then Sokka's hands left his waist and he was alone."Sokka?" He hit into someone, or rather, they hit into him. He fell down, because of course he couldn't balance himself completely yet. The universe was after him and all, so why wouldn't it embarrass him more."Oh sorry. Wait, Zuko?" That was Katara's voice. He got himself back to his feet, thankfully his balance now was easier. He scratched the back of his neck."Um...sorry. Where's Sokka?" He asked. He felt stranded alone, he was actually thankful for Katara being here."Oh, he's with Aang in line for food." Oh, Sokka had abandoned him then."Well, at least you're here." He intended it as a compliment, he hoped it came off as one. Her personality grated with his own, but her voice was Tui-sent, or maybe he was just grateful he wasn't completely alone. He heard her growl. "It was a compliment." he told her quickly, trying to stop what surely was a mid-air hit. It worked, he guessed, when he felt wind hit his face but, thankfully, the hit that had been following didn't come. "It was a compliment. I thought I wouldn't find anybody I know." He explained. He felt her temperature jump high. Did she think he was flirting? Because he surely wasn't, he just wanted to be on her good side to prevent her from wanting to smack him."Oh. Sorry about almost hitting you." Her hand dropped to her side."It's fine." He was tempted to say he's had worse but bit his his tongue to suppress the urge down."Well, looks like leaving you together wasn't a good idea." Came Jet's voice. Zuko felt the distinct urge to growl but Katara beat him to it, pushing Zuko behind her and she smacked Jet, he could hear it, feel their heats make contact."Still feisty it seems. I guess I pick the stubborn ones to bang." Okay, now he was growling too, and tempted to rip Jet's throat out for actually saying it aloud. He was sheltered, yes, but he learned well from his uncle how to strike fear in the hearts of his suitors. He pushed Katara behind him now, using her for more balance. He pulled Jet close by his shirt to, if he could see, look into his eyes with unbridled fury."You shut up and leave us alone or I'll cut it off, shove it down your throat, gut you, and leave you hanging by your entrails in Forgetful Valley." It was a masterful skill Iroh had taught him the second he found out his nephew liked boys. It always made Iroh proud to see men scurry off with their hands covering their privates in whatever direction was the opposite of where Zuko was. Katara seemed impressed while Jet seemed feasably scared and ran away."That's pretty cool. What is Forgetful Valley, though?" Katara asked."It's a place in the Fire Nation. I've been there a few times. I was stupid then." She seemed interested, obviously, as she pulled him to sit down next to her on a bench, he guessed a table by all the remnant heat on it."So why is that place so scary? I mean, Jet did run away when you mentioned it." Katara leaned on the table, looking at his face, obviously watching for lies."It has ties to the Spirit World. There's a spirit there, a peaceful one, who will take your memories if you don't want them and gift you a new face in return to start over with. But if you anger her or someone she allows to leave after having seen her, she gifts you to her son, Koh, the Face-Stealer.""Why did you go?" Katara asked."I didn't want my memories anymore. I couldn't stand them. Before I could ask her to take them, Uncle Iroh found me and told me it wouldn't fix anything to start over, he would miss me. I couldn't do it. The other time, I asked her again and she told me she wouldn't, the world would need me as the person I am and sent me out of the valley." Agni, he felt like he was telling everyone too many stories, things they didn't have to know, vague little things that all came back to the same root, the same reason. Ozai."Why didn't you want your memories?" She asked."There are a lot that are too painful to keep, I didn't want them. I've learned to live with them." He explained."Is something wrong with you? You haven't looked directly at me since we sat down." She was suspicious."There you are. I left you with Jet, where'd he go?" Sokka sat next to him and he felt what must be Toph on the other side of him."You know, you could have left him with me. I was down the other end with Haru." Toph told Sokka."I threatened to cut off something useless and shove it down his throat." Zuko told him nonchalantly. Toph burst out laughing."Don't forget gutting him and hanging him in Forgetful Valley." Katara reminded him."Oh that too." He confirmed."What's useless?" Aang asked."His d-" Zuko began and abruptly was cut off by Toph laughing louder. He smiled at her laughter."His dick, Aang." Katara finished."Oh. Wait why?" Aang asked."He made a comment on picking feisty people to bang." Katara explained, he could hear the joke in her voice. Obviously she thought it was hilarious that they'd slept with the same person. Sokka gave a disgusted groan, only making Zuko feel a bit of satisfaction making him feel like that."Wait...that means you and Jet boned?" Sokka asked, poking Zuko's arm. He couldn't contain his laugh."It was a very regrettable night, I blame temporary loss of sanity and the fact that I had a lot of alcohol within my grasp." And oh how he regretted that now. His lapse in judgement had done nothing to hinder his mental capabilities of remembering what happened."Sounds like you remember though." Toph joked, elbowing him a bit as he felt remnant heat before him and, by the looks of it, it was a bowl of food of some kind."Not enough alcohol." He waved himself and rolled his eyes."Well how much did you drink?" Sokka asked."Well, Jet had three bottles and I was drinking before he saw me so I'd guess at least seven." He was a bit proud of his tolerance."Good to know we shouldn't let you around alcohol. You might drink yourself to death." Sokka alerted him."I'm immune to alcohol. Or wine at least. I've only ever had wine." He shrugged."Doesn't mean you can't drink yourself to death. You'll give yourself alcohol poisoning." Sokka scolded. "Now. What I wanted to ask. You haven't looked at anything and you haven't even touched your food. What's wrong with your eyes?" He could hear her take the cap off her waterskin. She was going to try to heal his eyes, when they couldn't be."The lightning damaged what was left of my sight. I can't see." She sounded like she capped her water again."They didn't heal? I thought I healed them." She sounded disappointed in herself, that she had made a mistake."It wasn't your fault. I was already losing it, healing just can't save what's already broken.""Your eyes aren't broken. I can fix them.""Leave them." It was a bit infuriating to be treated like he was just something to be fixed, he knew it would come to this one day anyway. He'd waited for this day for almost ten years, when his mother told him originally that he would lose his sight one day. "Sorry if that sounded angry. But I'm not broken. It's not fixable, you can't heal this. I was born with a disease in my eyes that takes my sight. I already lost my left eye with the burn. I've survived blind before, I'll be fine." He assured her."You were blind?" Aang asked."When my left eye got burned, my right eye went blind too. 'Sympathetic blindness' is what the healer called it. I also lost my left ear, I can't hear from it. My right ear rang the whole time I was blind so I was kind of pitiful. I was like a fox bat." He hated remembering but it was a useful memory, it served him well."How long were you like that?" Aang asked."A year. From my a few days after my thirteenth birthday to a month and a half after my fourteenth.""Wait. You're like...eighteen right? You've only had sight back for four years before you lost it again.""Sixteen. I just turned sixteen. Right before I um...hunted you." Zuko felt a bit embarrassed to admit it, honestly."What month?" Sokka asked."The end of August.""Hah, I'm older! I was born in the beginning of January of that year." They all laughed a bit at Sokka's antics. He felt a bit meek asking so he didn't fingers searching for remnant heat on the table, looking for a spoon."Oh, you can't see it." Aang pushed the wooden utensils into his hands. It was a spoon in his right hand, he realized as he moved his thumb over the smooth concave surface before he put it into the bowl. His other hand held chopsticks, something he fumbled with a bit getting them into his hand properly."Thanks." He was quiet as he attempted to get the bowl's contents on his spoon and between his chopsticks, a task better thought than done. But he was nothing if not persistent. He didn't want to intrude on their conversations as they spoke and eating sounded like a better option than intruding. The food tasted oddly familiar but also didn't. Fire Nation food, kind of. Like a Water Tribe person had used Fire Nation ingredients to the best of his ability to make an Earth Kingdom dish. But some of it was familiar. It tasted faintly like vegetable zhajiangmian that his mother used to make. Zuko liked it better, it tasted like Earth Kingdom food a bit, but also better."Is it good, Zuko? I made Air Nomad jajangmyeon. I mean, everyone else has had it before but you haven't." He swallowed his bite."It's not just the heightened sense, it's amazing." Sokka snorted as he put another spoonful of the noodles and vegetables in his mouth."Sparky likes your food. Looks, like you're good, Twinkletoes." Toph commented but he could care less. It was catching up to him, not eating for four days. He felt like he finished in record timing."You've got something on your face." Sokka's voice came and a hand pressed a cloth to his cheek, wiping off a few drops of the sauce. He turned red with a blush."Oh, I um...I didn't notice.""So Dad said he wanted to talk more after breakfast.""Yeah.""You spoke to him?" Katara asked."Just a couple basic questions. If I'd help you guys." Aang seemed interested again, he could feel the heat bouncing on its heels again."Are you?" Asked Aang"Of course. You all saved my life. I'm not traitor."Weren't you banished or something for being a traitor? I heard someone say that.""Cowardice, not disloyalty." He grumbled, hands playing together nervously. Of course, he'd expected them to ask, but not like this."You aren't a coward. You redirected lightning! That's not cowardice!" Zuko glared at Sokka's heat."You didn't know me before then, how could you know!?" He snapped before covering his mouth. He expected a hit but it never came, head down and waiting still until someone finally spoke."Then tell us what happened." It was Katara, her voice almost sickeningly sweet and he felt his nausea roil in his stomach. He could skip parts. He could just ignore some things, the pieces he'd repressed for three years. He cold just skip them and say he couldn't remember, but everything burned like an iron in his mind. He remembered every little bit."Ozai said he wanted me in the War Room for a meeting with the generals. He told me not so speak. But one of the older generals gave a plan to sen a new division to be killed as a distraction, kids my age. I was stupid and said something.""But he was clearly wrong, sending kids to fight a war." Katara interrupted softly."Do you think he cares how old they are? This is war and they were just cannon fodder for him. I was expendable for him." he took a breath to calm down and Toph grabbed his arm , making sure he could feel her comforting hand, so he wouldn't slip into memories. Perhaps she had at some point done the same, got lost in her memories. "The general challenged me to an Agni Kai for speaking out against his plan. A fire duel. I was foolish and agreed because I thought I could win." His heart felt like it was pounding and Toph held him tighter, grounding him. His eyes were burning with tears he held down. "When the match came, it wasn't the general. I had been in the Fire Lord's War Room, during the Fire Lord's War Meeting. I'd disrespected him more than the general." Toph's hands squeezed his arm. Sokka's hand went around his back but he flinched, tears finally falling over his face. The sudden hand made his brain immediately respond to years of pent up tears, finally letting them spill over."Zuko, you don't have to..." Katara began."I couldn't fight him. And, since I was a coward, he branded me a traitor and sent me on a fool's errand to catch the Avatar." He bit his tongue to keep from talking, making it bleed. Toph immediately opened his mouth and showed his bleeding tongue to Katara for her to heal. She uncapped her waterskin and water flooded his mouth for a moment, healing the bitemarks embedded in the soft skin. Then the water was gone, apparently done healing."You okay, buddy?" Sokka asked."I'm fine." His voice cracked. Agni, his voice broke and now he sounded weak. Toph and Sokka immediately enveloped him with big hugs."You don't always have to be fine, Zuko. You don't have to pretend to be okay when you're not." Toph assured him. He felt accepted for the first time in a long time. After a few minutes, they broke the hug and Katara took his hand."You ready to talk to Dad?" Katara asked."I think so, yeah." He confirmed."Oh, Prince Zuko. The Chief wanted to talk to you." Came a voice."I'll take him, Yuruck. What room is he in?" Came Aang's voice."Alright, follow me." Yuruck's hands closed around his waist and got Zuko to his feet, the raven following as the man led him to presumably where hakoda was. Aang followed quickly, taking his hand and bouncing in his stride. Zuko was definitely not excited, this meant he had to explain things to people. Hopefully it wouldn't become to personal, the false hope that it was just going to be questions of the Invasion. Alas, his hope truly was false when he sat in a room with Aang sitting with crossed legs beside him, across from Hakoda."So, Zuko. Would you tell me why you were chasing the Avatar?" Hakoda asked."I was banished from the Fire Nation and told capturing Aang and bringing him home would restore my honor." Hakoda hummed."Alright. Tell me of your childhood." He heart throttled in his throat."H-How is this information needed for the Invasion?" It was miraculous that he managed to managed to make the question sound somewhat calm."It's not. I simply wish to know what kind of person you are." Something inside him felt like it broke."The kind who's lived in terror daily for nearly seventeen years.""Now, to the Invasion. Aang here says he had a vision from Avatar Roku that he needs to visit the Fire Nation." There was a long pause as Zuko debated how he could answer that. Finally he mustered one up."D-Do you want me to stay with them or you?" He asked."You'll be going with us. As our guide around the Fire Nation. Or Caldera at least." Aang told him. He felt sick, his lungs felt tight but he made himself take a breath."Of course, anything. I owe you my life.""You've paid your debt to us already, you saved my life and we saved yours. We're more than even. This travel is as a friend. We'll be learning the culture and exploring and learning." Aang assured him. That seemed easy enough, hopefully."So we'll need any intelligence possible about the palace and how to navigate it." Hakoda told him."Of course." He found interrogation actually felt a lot calmer than he thought it would. "The palace is big, but that's because a lot of rooms are big. The Fire Lord's chambers is the third biggest room after the Throne Room and War Room.""Tell me about the Fire Lords." His eyes widened a bit but he quickly nodded and cleared his throat of the lump in it, it did little to help."The Fire Lord is supposed to speak for their people as the embodiment of their will. Sozin was the first to demand he be worshipped. He craved subjugation of the people so he interpreted his own will upon the people instead. I think we can see where that's gotten us." He felt angry at his ancestors, with good reason. They were mainly horrible people for the last century, save his mother's side."So Ozai is just employing his will? He wants blind subjugation? Tell us how he rule. What has he set onto the citizens as his will?" Hakoda asked. Zuko swore he bit down his laugh at the better wording, but he heard himself chuckle still."He's a man who runs everything by stereotypes. The whole country is full of them. Some are horrible, others are very lenient. But most are from his own prejudices. Despite not being Fire Lord, during the last decade or so of my grandfather's life, he acted mainly as interpreter for him. He was sick frequently toward the end of his life so Ozai took that time to place his prejudices in the citizens." He explained."What are his prejudices? Describe a few major ones that he abides by." Hakoda asked of him."The one he hates the most is two men or two women being together. He absolutely hates it. I don't know why, I heard him raving about it to my mother. Something about the Spirits making men and women for each other. Another is that men are inherently tall and strong with fighting talents while women are short and weak and have more creative talents like sewing, healing, cooking, and cleaning. Another he abides is that people with disabilities are useless. Like I, he's a waste a air." Some of those hit very close to home."Navigating the palace, do you know where everything is even without seeing?" Hakoda asked."As long as nothing's changed. I remember it.""Could you lead through it during the Eclipse?" Oh. They wanted him to lead them through the palace blind. Did they truly have that much faith in him?"I mean...I could try. I'd need practice first but I could try. If not, I can lead through making a map of it." Aang patted his back."That's awesome." The airbender praised him."So do we need to know anything special about Ozai? Any weaknesses or secrets?"his head wanted to shake for a second. No, they couldn't know. But his head fell to face the floor, unable to let them see his face, his eyes that were filling with unwilling tears that he shoved down and forced back. He took a deep breath to calm down and force himself to let them see his face. They were waiting, he didn't want them to face the torture of waiting as he had. More importantly, they deserved to know, it was something that could be used against him, despite how much it was embarrassing."Yes. yes, he has secrets. And I only know his weakness of narcissism. His stupid vanity that he's perfect and nobody can ever possibly surpass him.""What kind of secrets?" Aang asked innocently."Bad ones. Not ones the public should know, ever. It's private matters, family secrets."He felt dirty skirting the secret. He wanted nobody to know as well. He didn’t want people thinking him lesser for it, thinking he’d provoked it, thinking it was all his fault.'It’s always your fault." The gnawing in his mind claimed."Is it discussable?" Hakoda sounded very much like he wanted to hear."I don’t think it is." Aang was much quieter, obviously not wanting to hear it.'Maybe admitting it to someone will help." He thought.'Useless little bastard!' His memories burned far too brightly in his mind.“I can tell you if you want. But you don’t have to listen if you don’t feel comfortable with it.” Zuko assured them.“I’ll be outside. I trust you’ll tell me if it’s not as bad as I think?” Aang told him and Hakoda.“Of course.” He assured. He felt Aang’s heat leave the room and took a deep breath.“The secret was a game he and I played one when I was six and then more often after my mother left when I was eleven. It was no game. But he called it House and said it was a secret I couldn’t tell anyone. He only called it that the once, I think it was because Azula asked to be involved in our game and he had to tell her she was too young yet.” His lungs felt tight.'Shut up, you little bastard!' Screamed Ozai's voice in his mind."What did 'House' include?" Hakoda asked."Well, 'House' itself only happened once. I was six, and my mother was on Ember Island. He woke me up and said he wanted to play a game called house and let me play as Mommy and he was Daddy and Azula was the baby. I wore one of my mother's dresses because he said I had to, House was a man and a woman so I had to be the girl since he's twenty years older than me. He’d arranged the cook the day off and let me cook the meals for the day. I just played as Mom for the day." He had to take a calming breath again.'This isn't my fault. I was six, I had no idea.' He thought.'How long can you lie to yourself, Zuko?' Came Azula’s voice."He said I should sleep in his chambers with him. I um…" He closed his eyes.'Stop beating around your problems or they'll never accept you.' He thought."He raped you." Hakoda's voice seemed to register horror, but also concern."He did.""And you said he did that more after your mother left?" His voice now seemed a little bit more even, trying to maintain a sense of calm to maybe keep Zuko himself calm."It took me time to figure out what happened, but my father had wanted the throne. He gained that not a few hours after my mother disappeared. He killed him and blamed my mother for it and had her executed.""And this is your assumptions?" Hakoda asked."Why? Is there a different story?" He asked curiously. He wanted to know if there was another story than his."No, it seems nobody but Ozai knows the truth now.""Does it help? That I told you? Will it help you defeat him?""No, but it does help me know more about you. And it helps me trust you for telling me something as personal as that. You’re very strong to go through something like that so young and make it this far. Many people would never live with themselves.""I've never wanted to live with myself like this. Most of my dimwitted attempts were foiled by my uncle." He smiled bitterly."Attempts? You tried to die?""I’m better." He rushed out, he didn't want people watching him at all times now that someone knew besides Iroh. That someone knew his recklessness and idiocy of his first year at sea. "Sorry, habit. Uncle used to check every morning. There was restrictions if I was having a bad day." He apologized."Ah, that's fine. What restrictions? In case we need to know." Hakoda seemed more a strategist, like Sokka. He thought ahead of situations and what to do in the event of something horrible happening. "If you’re comfortable with that. You don't have to." He gave him a hopefully bright smile."It's alright. I know people are curious so people ask questions. It's not hard to answer questions." He assured both himself and the Chief."Alright then, Son." He cringed inwardly at the use of the last word. He hated it when people who called him Son or Boy or Young Man. It felt like they hadn’t bothered to remember his name. Something about it made him feel off, squirmy."Someone would stay with me all day. No knives, no swords, no firebending unless he approved for training, and I wasn't allowed to command the crew for the day. Uncle and my Lieutenant ate meals with me and made sure I ate at least half my food and that I kept it down.""You had issues keeping food down?" He bit his lip a moment."I thought I was already broken outside. I had wanted my insides to match." He kept it short, he didn't want himself letting Hakoda know every last thing about him. Personal questions made him uncomfortable. He was better at broader statements about family life or the Fire Nation."Alright. I'll bring Aang back in and well continue about the Invasion, walk us through weak spots in the palace." He felt Hakoda get up and print Aang back."The shifts change for the guard in the Fire Lord's Chambers. They wouldn't change the day of the Eclipse though. Again, the Fire Lord is cautious. He always has been. But they shouldn't be hard to get passed." He told them. And thus, they made a map of the palace just case and spent hours talking of shift change and strategy. Aang made food runs for them and made them both eat or, rather, reminded them they should. Zuko, at some point, was led back to him and Sokka's room and put to bed because it was past dusk and Agni has already left the sky and made him tired. He fell asleep almost immediately as he felt Sokka make sure he was there with his arm getting slung over him. Zuko was awoken to someone shaking his shoulder."Shh, don't wake your bedmate. It's still late. The Chief wants to talk to you." Came a voice. Gently, he slipped from Sokka's arms and felt hands guide him up to his feet and lead him to the deck, presumably where Hakoda was."You know, my older sister was the last waterbender after the Southern Raiders came and took the others. Her name was Hama. They took her too." Why was he telling him this? "She was murdered by firebenders. The Chief swore we would never trust a firebender after they took our waterbenders." What was this useful for? "I always swore I would honor my sister." Suddenly he felt hands around his throat in a familiar placement as the man pressed his back against the railing of the deck. Zuko dug his fingers into the hands, intending to pry them off. His breath that managed to get past the strong hand leaked fire onto the man's wrists, marking him. He couldn't breathe, before suddenly, the man let go with one hand and metal suddenly embedded into his middle, making him gasp, eyes feeling open wide. The blade left and then a heavy blow to his head. His balance was already horrible, this just surpassed that and sent him tumbling overboard.'You deserve this.' Ozai's voice taunted.'Don't inhale.' He remembered, thankfully just before he hit the water. The water felt like rock. But he forced himself to get to the surface, gasping air once he'd made it and forced his lungs to work. He wasn't going to make it at this point."Help!" His lungs burned with the yell. Nobody heard, or cared. He'd already given them the information on the palace, what other reason had they for keeping him? He should have expected this. He couldn't even begin swimming, he didn't know what direction he would be going, where he would end up or how long it would take to get there. So he stayed in the same spot, hoping someone would remember to find him, or come across him and hopefully take pity.
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Sokka POV
Sokka woke up to feel the familiar body that had snuck into them last night was gone. He was immediately worried and he looked around the room for him. He sat up, back popping as he did so and he began looking around only to find that the raven wasn't in the room. Sokka got up and went to his father's room, checking if Zuko was in there for more planning. He found that the small raven wasn't, but Aang was."Oh, Sokka. Did you bring Zuko with you? We didn't go over backup plans." Aang asked."He's not with you?" Sokka was panicking. Zuko couldn't see, he could be somewhere he couldn't find his way back from."No, we thought he was sleeping late." Aang told him."No! He wasn't there when I woke up!" Sokka was officially in full panic mode. Zuko might have experience being blind, but that didn't mean that he wasn't vulnerable right now. Him staying in Zuko's room wasn't out of convenience but worry because he'd stopped breathing twice on Appa and needed Aang to help him breathe. That, and the fact that Zuko hadn't let up his death grip on his hand. Sokka was also getting attached to him. He was cute and smart and his presence was calming and easy to be around."We need to search for him. Son, you come with me." Hakoda told him. Them and Aang set out to find the others to get them to help.
Jet POV
The deck was alive with chatter as usual as Jet stood watching everyone while he leaned his back against the railings. He faintly noted there were burn marks here that were distinctly hand shaped. It was nowhere else but here in these two spots, as if their resident firebender had gotten pissed and grabbed the metal, only in the wrong direction. The handprints were the wrong way for Zuko to have grabbed them facing out. This worried him, why would Zuko grab the railing facing inward? He saw a usually bouncing airbender come running over and grab his shirt, looking fairly disheveled and also a bit scared.“Have you seen Zuko!?” The bald boy asked.“No, why?”“You’ve dated him, where would he be if he were on a ship!?” The Avatar seemed especially panicked. This didn’t bode well. Did Zuko decide to jump ship? No, he wouldn’t, he’d get too scared. He’d mainly looked at him as a threat but he was just a scared kid, like all of them, just trying to take down Ozai while also trying to abide his father's word.“Maybe he’s just finding a quiet spot to concentrate in?” He offered.“We’ve looked everywhere? Have you seen him? Anything?” Aang was definitely panicked.“Um…the handprints here look like firebender burns.” He offered.“Would he have jumped!?”“No. No, he wouldn’t jump. He wouldn’t be able to find shore, he wouldn’t do it.” Jet assured him.“Aang, come here!” Katara’s voice called the Avatar. Jet followed after the Avatar to see an older Water Tribe man with graying brown hair man. He had red burn marks on his arms.
Hakoda POV
“Where’d you get burned, Yuruck?” Hakoda asked him.“The firebender.”“Why’d he burn you? He hasn't truly firebended since he's been here.” Hakoda felt rage beginning to burn from the embers of panic. What had Yuruck’s done? To a small, scared little boy no older than his eldest.“I had to, Chief! He gave us the information! We don’t need him anymore! He’s already good as dead! He’ll never survive in the world like that! What I did was merciful!” And thus his heart dropped. He killed that little boy, one he had seen Sokka get attached to and his whole group get attached to. The little boy who had refused to cry when telling him about his father’s horrible, demeaning abuse and instead had forced a smile for him even though he could see all he wanted to do was cry and cower and run away. He heard a hiccup to his left, Toph. She'd grown so immediately attached as well. Her and Zuko bonding over their blindness in only moments. She was crying but she was refusing to show it even with the tears on her face. Metal encased Yuruck’s legs as she forced him to stay in the spot.“What did you do!? How did he die!?” She snapped with more venom than a bullviper. It was quite terrifying to see her like this.
Toph POV
He couldn’t be dead. He was her blindness buddy. They were supposed to be here, together, planning backup strategies before they were off to the Fire Nation capital. Instead he was dead. Her eyes leaked down her face as she bit back her cries. How would she ever face General Iroh again knowing she couldn’t have saved him? How could she tell him his nephew he viewed as a second son, was dead?“I tried to choke him out but he burned my wrists so I stabbed him, hit him in the head, and threw him overboard.” True. She wanted to cry. She hadn’t known him long, but he was the only person she'd ever met that was blind, that was persevering with it regardless of what happened. He was someone General Iroh loved, something that drove him. He’d already lost one son, he couldn’t lose the other, it would crush him.
Aang POV
Aang had tears falling over as he looked anywhere but Yuruck, he physically couldn’t bring himself to do it.“I’m taking my glider, Sokka and Katara, use Appa.” He was off just that quickly, looking for the raven teen amongst the ocean. It was a long hour until he found him, struggling afloat but not swimming anywhere. Likely, he knew he couldn’t find land even if he tried. Aang pulled the half awake firebender and held him as he mumbled, using one hand to fly back, in which time Zuko had woken up more, shaking and blue lips turning back to pink. Hakoda stood waiting with blankets and wrapped the firebender with them immediately then another for Aang. The raven, having finally seemed to snap from his cold fever dreams, began crying, Hakoda accepting the raven into his arms as the boy buried himself there.
Hakoda POV
Hakoda would have never considered that he would be holding a wet, crying firebender. But now, it seemed only appropriate as the boy shook and clung to him like safety held itself in his arms. He was still blue tinged slightly and he held his head against his chest protectively. Toph came nearly barreling over and hugged him tightly. Aang took back off on his glider to get Sokka and Katara.“You’re okay!” She very nearly sobbed. He wouldn’t blame her even if she had, this boy was important to her.“Is he back?” Came a tentative voice. He looked to see a brunette boy his son’s age. This was probably Jet, the one Katara had complained had dated both her and Zuko.“He is? Would you like to hold him? Maybe someone familiar will help.” Jet looked hesitant.“S-Sure.” He stammered and gently took him even as Toph came with him. The boy rubbed Zuko’s back.
Jet POV
He couldn’t believe he had broken up with him. He couldn’t believe that he’d ever gotten to sleep with him, even with them both incredibly drunk. He held the raven to his shoulder, other arm rubbing up and down his back.“It’s okay, Zuko.” Fingers tightened the blanket around him before the raven suddenly passed out against him and Toph. Thankfully, Toph checked his heartbeat.“He’s okay. He’s just exhausted.” Oh. That was fine.“Take him to his room, you two. Stay with him. I’ll see to Aang, Sokka, and Katara when they come back.” Jet carefully lifted Zuko into his arms, trying to be as careful as he coul. Toph led then to the familiar room and he laid the raven on the bed.
Sokka POV
Landing Appa seemed easy enough. Getting to Zuko felt like his heart was beating out of his chest. Sokka couldn’t believe he let Zuko almost die like this. It was his fault, he had slept through Yuruck taking him. How could he have let that happen? He was incredibly thankful to see him asleep on their bed, wrapped in a blanket, head resting in Toph’s lap. Jet was sitting guard with his stupid hook swords. He was almost thankful Jet was there protecting him would there be another attempt. Almost immediately he hugged Zuko. The raven gave a groan and tentatively woke up, groaning and nuzzling into him as he fell back to sleep. Katara began healing him, blue water glowing as she immediately took the possibility of infection from the wound in his middle. Then skilled hands hovered over his head healing as much of the head injury as she could. She spent hours healing small blood vessels and skin and finally completing her tentative work on the mended skin at dinner time. Hakoda left and returned with food for them, forcing them to take a break and eat and eventually sleep, all laying strewn about the room, Toph cuddled up to Zuko's front and Sokka against his back. Katara was sitting up near the head of the bed to wake if Zuko woke up. Aang cuddled with Momo and his staff against the wall at the foot of the bed. Jet sat up on guard for several stubborn hours as both him and Sokka refused to sleep, even after Hakoda left for a few hours to see to Yuruck's assembly for punishment. Eventually, Jet did fall asleep, nearly passing out, near Katara but also not touching her, hook swords at the ready in his hands. Hakoda came back and gave Sokka a stern look."Go to sleep, son. He'll need you to sleep if you'll be helping him recover." Hakoda reminded him. And so Sokka cuddled closer to Zuko's back, arm protectively over both him and Toph and he fell asleep.
Zuko POV
Waking up was blurry. What exactly happened? Lazily, he attempted to move his arm only to feel it was over a body slightly shorter than his own, and it felt like it was a struggle to move it. He had to keep afloat. When had he fallen asleep?"He's awake." Came a familiar voice. Toph? Was he having a dream still?"Hey, Zuko, wake up." Came Katara's fleeting voice, nervous."What happened?" What happened? Everything was dazed. Was it all just a dream? Almost dying? Was that real?"Yuruck tried to kill you. He faced assembly last night and admitted everything." Hakoda's voice set his mind into something calm. But what had even happened? He couldn't remember anything from Yuruck's attempt on his life."What happened? What did he do?" His voice felt weak and he knew his voice was showing just how vulnerable he was."You don't remember?" Asked Jet. Jet was here? He grabbed at the boy's hand. Jet's hand slid into his own and he closed his fingers around the offered appendage."Everything is fuzzy." He explained."It's probably the head injury. He'll remember after enough time." Katara alerted the others, calming him with the words too. He felt so tired."I'm tired." And a gentle hand closed his eyes."Sleep." Sokka's voice was calming. He fell back asleep against it, comfortable against him and Toph.
Katara POV
"Is he asleep, Toph?" Asked Sokka."Yeah, he's asleep." Toph announced."Good. I'll try to heal the head injury." She swirled the water from her waterskin around her hands. Focus wasn't hard. After all, watching Zuko sleep was calming, knowing he was safely here instead of stranded all alone in the sea was calming enough. She was grateful the injuries were as easy as they were. He still had rosethorn packing over the stab wound to stave off infection and another over the head wound on his forehead. His throat, sadly, still had the large handprints on it. She couldn't heal bruises, something she greatly was disappointed by. But, she could heal his head, she knew it. She sat up, healing the tissue and hoping it would work. Everyone else slowly drifted back off, given it was very late at night. First Aang and Toph fell back to sleep. Then Sokka and finally Jet. After the bout of healing, she fell back asleep, exhausted from the energy it took to heal the brain tissue. He would be fine, even if she had to get more Spirit Oasis water.
Zuko POV
He woke up slowly. His head throbbed with a migraine but, thankfully, he could now remember what happened, Yuruck bringing him to the back decks and then choking, stabbing, and hitting his head before throwing him overboard. His hours of struggling to keep himself above water while his body burned with exhaustion. For the first time in five years, he'd prayed, for a long time."He's awake." Came Toph's voice to his ears."Toph." He hugged her close, body resting against her own."I'm here, Sparky." She assured him. And her voice the second time let him know it was truly real. He began crying. He couldn't stop it, his body just seemed to let go of all the tears he'd refused to cry the day previous."It's okay, Zuko." Sokka told him, hand rubbing his back. Eventually, he managed to calm down but he still held tightly to Toph."Okay. Since you're up, let's see if you're head's better. What day is it?" Katara asked."It's the end of Spring. It doesn't feel like Summer yet. Agni would be warmer." He told her."What day were you born?" Katara asked."The end of August. There was a big storm in the off season. It was an omen that I would die.""Good. What's my name?" She asked."Master Katara Yuka of the Southern Water Tribe." He felt dazy still, his eyes felt heavy."And your name?" She asked."Zuko Roku, son of the late Lady Ursa." He began slurring his words. Why was he this tired? Was this normal for murder attempts?"Alright. Let's get you up, you need to take a bath." She told him, and thus Toph and Sokka helped him sit up. Thankfully, Jet was the one to help him to the bath. This he was fine with, Jet had seen him naked before so he didn't quite feel as bothered as he would if it were Toph or Katara or Sokka or Aang."Warm bath, right?" Jet asked. He felt his way to the counter and held it with one hand as he heard Jet start the water into the tub."Yeah." He began taking his shirt off. He half-expected a sarcastic comment from Jet about their night together but none came so he continued to attempt to get his pants off. It made him nearly fall but Jet's hands helped him stay standing."Careful. You almost fell." Jet reminded him."Thank you." He whispered quietly. As much as he hated to admit it, Jet was being very helpful but the feeling of anxiety still gnawed at him. How was Jet comfortable with helping him bathe like this? "I'm sorry if this makes you feel weird." He apologized."Oh please, I've seen you naked before. I have no problem helping." Jet assured him. It did a lot to release anxiety knowing Jet was fine with this, even though his hands still trembled as he took off his underclothes and Jet helped him into the tub, guiding his feet into the high sides. Jet POVZuko being overly self-conscious was nothing new, Jet knew he was already. He'd even been like this when he was drunk. It was quiet while he helped him, trying to make him calm down too. It calmed his nerves to do something that let him put his full attention on something besides his thoughts. All he'd thought for the past two days while Zuko was in and out of consciousness was if he would be okay. Now that he was up and doing things, it finally lifted the weight from his shoulders and let him finally breathe a bit easier. After Zuko finished getting himself clean, Jet wrapped a fluffy towel around him and helped him up from the tub, guiding him out. He handed Zuko clothes as the raven dried off and he drained the tub. By the end of it, Zuko was dressed in red baggy pants and a red slightly baggy shirt. He looked drained with just the menial task of bathing himself. Regardless, Jet knew that Katara would want him to eat before he slept again. And, that she did when he returned him to his room. Katara was waiting with a bowl of soup and a spoon for the firebender."Eat this and you can rest again." She told Zuko. Jet sat him next to her."Where is it?" He asked."Right here." She told him and placed the bowl in his hands. "Broth. It's easier for you to keep down." She told him. Instead of taking the spoon, he simply pressed the bowl to his mouth and began gulping it down until it was gone before he laid back down between Toph and Sokka and went back to sleep. He almost laughed at that. It was kind of cute how done he still was with the world.
Sokka POV
When Zuko woke up the next time, it was sunrise and it had been three days since Yuruck's attempt of Zuko's life. Finally, he seemed healthy and he finally seemed alive when he woke up, he even sat up and stretched. Everyone else was in the mess hall eating besides him and Jet, who had stayed behind to watch over him. Jet took Zuko’s hand and guided him to sit up but he seemed not to need it."Are you okay?" Sokka asked."I'm fine. What time is it?" He asked."Just an hour after sunrise. Everyone's eating breakfast. Want me to run and get you something?" Jet explained."I'm fine. It wouldn't really do much good. Why did you save me? You had all the information you needed. I'm useless now, you don't need me." Oh, so this was the bad day precautions Sokka had been told of by Hakoda."Alright. We're gonna go get breakfast and then we'll go see my dad." He gave Jet a look, trying to entail he knew what he was doing."Okay." Zuko whispered, letting Sokka and Jet get him up and to the mess hall. They sat at an empty table with their bowls and Sokka sat next to Zuko, with Jet on the firebender's other side. The raven proceeded to poke at his curry chana with his spoon."I'll eat if you eat." He offered the raven."You shouldn't do that. I'm not hungry." Zuko was quiet with his response, like he was ashamed of it. He didn't have to be, he wasn't going to leave over some little comment, no matter how much self-hate was shoved into such a usually harmless little sentence."I think you are, you're just not thinking right at the moment and it's making you think you're not hungry but you are." He took Zuko’s free hands with his own, thumb rubbing over the palm of it and trying to calm him. Tentatively, Zuko took a bite. It seemed to take him forever to chew it and swallow but it had to be hard to force down food."Are you eating, Sokka?" He asked softly."Yeah, see?" He put a spoonful into his mouth and took the firebender's hand to hold it against his jaw to feel him chew and swallow. Jet was watching over their interaction while he ate, not angry but confused, though he didn’t comment on it. They made it through breakfast with minimal damage, thankfully, and Sokka led the raven to his father's room and sat the boy down before him. "As it turns out, someone's having a bad day, Dad." He alerted his father as the Chief was looking over the map of the palace with Aang."Oh really? Is that true, Zuko?" Hakoda asked."Maybe." The raven mumbled."What, Son?" Zuko grimaced."Yes, I don't feel happy today!" The raven snapped."Alright. Well then, Sokka and Jet, you two stay with him today. No traveling to the weapons room or taking anyone’s weapons either. No firebending unless someone has asked to spar with you up on the decks with me present. Sokka and Jet will join you for meals, which I assume they already have gotten you to eat breakfast." Zuko turned his head away from the Chief."Yes, Sir." He mumbled."What, Son?""Yes, Sir!" He snapped. Hakoda gave a small laugh but disguised it with a cough."Alright. Make sure you rest after a head injury like that, Son." Hakoda reminded the raven. Zuko stood, using Sokka as a measure for distance as well as a crutch."Zuko, are you okay?" Jet asked once they’d gotten back to Zuko’s room."I’m not happy. Leave me alone." He shoved the brunette away."Hey! I’m not leaving!" The Freedom fighter told him."Well, I want you to!" Okay, this would definitely escalate."Guys, stop." Sokka tried."Hey! Don't forget I keep your secrets you told me when you were drunk!""I never told you any secrets!""Well then I guess you didn't wake up near three in the morning and you didn't start rambling to me!?""I never told you any secrets!""Oh!? So you didn't want to be a girl when you were six!?" Zuko froze and Sokka did the same. Sokka could see the anger that sent radiating off the raven. Shit, that wasn't good. None of this was good."How do you know that!?" Zuko seemed to want to kill Jet. He wouldn’t blame the firebender. After all, that was a very personal, private secret, it was a wonder that Jet wasn’t dead already."You told me! You woke up and started rambling and you told me!""I never told you that!" Zuko had tears on his face. Her face? Was that right? Or did Zuko grow out of it? Sokka had heard in the tribe of people changing gender. It was never a big deal, certainly not as big as Zuko and Jet were making this. But it was something the Tribes accepted with open hearts."Guys, stop!" That caught their attention and Zuko's eyes got wide, or eye. The other was still set in a permanent scowl, though it did get seemingly as wide as it could. The firebender was probably realizing that Sokka was indeed still in the room. That he had heard them."Sokka, it's not what it sounds like. I was young and stupid and I didn't know what I was doing." The raven tried to explain it. But Sokka immediately caught much more dripping off the words. Of course Zuko was mortified, a secret like that seemed to be something horrible in the Fire Nation, where everything was run by prejudice. A boy who wanted to be a girl was something of horror there where it was accepted and loved amongst the close-knit Southern Water Tribe."Zuko, do you still wanna be a girl?""No!" Came the immediate rejection. But that small word was spat with such horror that he had to wonder if Ozai had tried to beat the deviant from his own child. Certainly just the few marks he could see on Zuko's arms entailed he definitely had. The thin scars lining his arms told him it definitely had repercussions on his mental health as well if the Fire Lord had."Is this like breakfast? Or are you sure?" He asked the final time only to receive no answer. Zuko bit his her? lip and refused to answer. "Alright. Well, rest, okay? You're not in the best place today to discuss this. We can talk about this any time." He assured him her. His mind gnawed with the idea that Zuko could want to be a girl still, that he had been calling him her the wrong thing the whole time. Zuko did lay down and he she went to sleep."What was that? What do you mean 'not in the best place'?" Jet asked."There was a girl in the Southern Water Tribe three years ago. Her name was Talia. The Southern Raiders attacked unexpectedly while Katara and I were off hunting. By the time we got back, they'd killed a lot of girls and children. Talia had been raped by one of them and she got pregnant. After she had her son, Hakku, she didn’t want to live. One day, she ran off out past Wolf's Head Peak and threw herself into the waterfall there. She killed herself." That story did hurt to talk about, Talia had been a childhood best friend of his, he and her had promised to get married at sixteen. Her nearly three year old son was currently with his grandmother, as Talia's parents had both been waterbenders, had been taken and killed."What does that have to do with Zuko?" Jet asked."Zuko feels the same was Talia did. Zuko didn't want to live today. And maybe she won't if we don’t make sure she's safe, even from herself." Jet’s face fell and blanched."She wants to…" Sokka nodded when Jet gave him a sheepish look."Yes, she wants to die today. But that's not going to stop us from protecting her. Even from herself.""We can't let the others know she wants to be a girl. She rambled that she hates herself for it.""She won't. She can learn to love herself as she is. She’s just not happy today." And so they let her sleep and woke her for lunch to have her eat and go on a walk around the decks. They woke her up again for dinner."Okay, Zuko. Would you like to tell us why you didn’t feel happy today?" Sokka asked her."My Uncle is probably dead, I'm blind and half deaf, I'm being a burden on people, I can't do anything right, you already have all the information from me that you need. What other purpose do I have? I'm useless now, I should die.""You're not useless or a burden. Were taking care of you because we care about you and wanna see you get better and be healthy again. Your Uncle, we got word he's just imprisoned, we can get him out during the Invasion. You're also not just an information well, you’re our friend. We wouldn't leave you to die, nor would we let you die on our watch." She cast her eyes down."I'm sorry." He took her hand and rubbed his thumb along her knuckles softly to comfort her."Don't be. Be proud, you made it through today." He assured her. She nodded and gave a faint smile."Thank you for not leaving." She told him and Jet."Of course." He pet her hair as she fell asleep, dragging him down with her in her death grip. Jet hugged against her back, protecting her from that side. He fell asleep after seeing Jet fall asleep. Sokka assured himself that them both were fast asleep before he himself drifted off.
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Zuko POV
Zuko woke up feeling much too eager to face the day. This was definitely uncommon for the day after a bad one. Usually there were after effects, yet they just didn’t seem to be there. She? No, no he. He! He felt two bodies against his own, likely Sokka's and Jet's. What a wonderful combination that was? Sokka holding him close by his waist and Jet was draping an arm over the both of them, his nose nuzzled into his neck while Sokka had his chin burying his head beneath it. They seemed awake, he could feel Sokka whispering against his head. Sadly, his good ear was down so he could barely hear them. He brought his hands to his eyes, rubbing them so he could open them."Oh, she's up." He! He! Or was he too bitter about this? Was this just him being too angry? Uncle always did say he had a bad temper. Maybe it was time to finally let go of the influence Ozai had dangled over him. No. No. He couldn't disobey his father, go directly against what he'd taught him."Dope! Shut up." Were they fighting over him?"She's a girl, right!?" Okay, that was Jet's voice, his voice was familiar."Zuko isn't comfortable with that! We haven't even asked! Don't force it on him!" And that was Sokka. Okay, clearly they were fighting over him. He tried to wake up more."Huh? Why are you fighting?" Was the most he could manage to asked them. Dammit, his brain wasn't in proper working order."Zuko, do you want to be a girl still?" Oh. They were fighting over that?"No. It's too deviant, I can't." He hit his fingers together nervously, knuckles hitting together as he didn't try to stop them. They'd likely end up seeing him do this a lot anyway if he was to travel with them through the Fire Nation."Is that what your father told you?" Sokka asked. He froze and turned away from him to bury into Jet's arms."Don't talk about him. You don't know anything.""Then tell me.""He said I wouldn't dishonor him like that, okay? He said he'd beat me again if he found out I said something about it."
Sokka POV
Oh. So that was shy Zuko was so hesitant to act on his desires. Of course, Sokka knew Ozai was horrible, had even expected something along the lines of the Fire Lord beating his child. But he didn’t exactly expect Zuko to tell him this so willingly."Zuko, you never have to worry about that again. He'll never hurt you. You can be whoever you want." Sokka assured him."I can't be a girl, the Spirits made men and women for each other." The raven's body seemed tense, lying."That's not what you believe. That's what he taught you to say." Sokka told him."He's gonna kill me. I can't, I can't do it. I can't be a girl. It's wrong.""How is that wrong? How is wanting to be a girl wrong?" Sokka pressed. He felt horrible doing it, bit this could be the time she finally admitted into herself."It just is! My Lord told me I can't so I shouldn't want it!" She was shaking with anger."Any reasons besides him?" Zuko shook his head. Her head. Her. She was finally admitting it."I want it!" She began crying."It's okay. Take your time." He pet over her hair."I hate him." She wiped her eyes."Then don't let him control your life. Be you, Zuko." Sokka assured him. Sniffling, she wiped her eyes and nodded."You don't think I'm weird that I want to be a girl?" Sokka looked over her face and Jet's. She looked a bit bashful, scared of his response."No. Because you're not. You're completely normal." Sokka took her hands. The small smile she gave made the assurance feel like it worked."So I can be a girl and you won't hate me?" It sounded like she was relieved."Of course." She gave a smile. Nobody said anything for several moments as Jet sat up to hug her and Sokka leaned forward to crush her in a hug as well."So are you changing your name? Because a girl did that once in the South Pole. Her name was Mikko before but then she changed it to Hana." She shook her head."I don't want that. But I can't be Zuko in the Fire Nation or we'll get caught the minute someone hears us. My name in Ba Sing Se was Lee. That's a name used in every country so it should work.""We'll probably have to all use fake names. They'll know our names." Jet told them."Hey, Z. Do you want us to call you girl pronouns around other people or is this private?" Jet asked. Oh, he really hadn't thought of that. Did she want everyone knowing."Only if everyone is comfortable with it." "This is a boat of war rebels, people are bound to eventually accept anything that opposes Ozai." Jet assured her."There was the guy who tried to kill me." She reminded him."And that was different, that was because he was mad with vengeance. This is just some pronouns. I doubt that would bother people." Jet reassured her, hands rubbing up and down her arms."Okay, well, I wanna see if I can spar someone today." And thus they helped her up and to Hakoda.
Zuko POV
It was midday, before dinner but after lunch, she could feel Agni high in the sky. She tentatively knocked on the door as Jet guided her by her waist. Sokka had simply walked right in but she was a bit more cautious than that."Hakoda, Sir?" She asked."Yeah?""I wish to spar. Only if you permit of course." She felt especially nervous. What if he told her no?"Will there be fire involved?""I'll do my best to refrain from that. My senses aren't trained enough right now to use fire yet.""Do you have preferred weapons?" He asked."No, I'm trained with most kinds.""Are you skilled with dual swords?""Absolutely. The second type I learned after throwing knives.""Here. I found these in the weaponry room. I thought you might need them for your travels with the Avatar." She felt him place two twin blades in her hands as well as a few smaller daggers meant for disguise, to keep her protected even if she lost her twin swords."How are these little swords supposed to protect her?" Jet asked as he picked out the little daggers and held them all."They're for if he…sorry, she loses her blades and needs to fend an attacker." Did he really so easily change his patterns? And he apologized even though he didn't have to? She almost resisted the urge to hug him before giving in. He intercepted her easily, arms making sure to guide her against him and make sure she was safe from falling. She held the twin knives by their handles aimed away from him, that hand not touching him. The small daggers were held by Jet."Thank you.""Of course. It's only right to call you a girl if you are." He patted her back, gently breaking the hug to make sure she hadn't accidentally hurt her own hand."Thank you." She murmured even thought she knew he didn't want praise. She felt he needed it, him so easily referring to her with feminine pronouns made her heart skip with joy that someone understood. It was the least she could do to thank him for it."Alright. You kids have fun. If you get hurt, find Katara immediately." He told them and she nodded and gave a hopefully reassuring smile."Yes, Sir." She bowed her head to him. Jet mumbled a goodbye and he and Sokka led her to the deck."Oh, looks like Sparky feels better." Came Toph's response."Yeah. I'm gonna try to spar, just to see if I can still.""Food. You need some training if we're dragging you along with us through Fire Nation territory." She joked. Zuko gave a small laugh at that."I do my best." She felt over the length of her blades, holding particularly high on the handles like Piandao had taught her to do in battle."I'll volunteer as your shish kebab. Try not to stab me though." She heard his hook blades get taken off from where they were hooked on his belt."No guarantees, sorry." She clanged her swords against the edge of the hook swords. Okay, that was where he was. She turned on her heatbending and her senses immediately felt much more useful. That was exactly where Jet was, one foot back a little bit in his fighting stance. Toph and Sokka had ushered people away. That wouldn't be necessary, hopefully, though she was happy that they'd thought ahead. She could do this. Her hands resonated heat through her blades, lighting up both her own and Jet's."You ready?" She took his moment off guard to swing his blades from his weak grip to land on the ground. "Hey!" She laughed as he had to stop to pick up his weapons."I'm ready, Jet." She taunted him."Oh, I'll show you ready." One hook sword pulled her close to him and she immediately put her own swords up to block his shoulders and then turned them to hit his wrists, making him drop his blades again with the hit."You're good at this." She put her left blade out at his chest."Better than you." He hooked her left sword with his right hook and he spun her around, something she hadn't expected, but it was easy to reverse, something that needed them to fall to the metal floor of the deck. Her blade was holding off his one hook sword, both lodged together in a tight pressure battle. He made to win with the hook to her neck. But she was just a second quicker, winning the pressure battle while he was distracted trying to win. He dropped his hook and she also dropped her blade. She pressed her blades face to his neck."I win." She was breathing a bit hard. Jet's mouth was close to her own and memories of those lips on her own made her blush and move back, only making her blush more as she realized her hips sat on his own."I guess you do." He chuckled, sitting up and getting them both up, handing her her second blade. "You're good." He praised her."You're good too. You almost didn't let me win.""Let you win? Hah, nope. You're just quick. I'm jealous of the reflexes.""My Master trained me to respond quickly. People take advantage of a disability." She thanked that men's pants had weapon looks on their belts and she hooked her swords into the loops on either hip."You had a Master?""Yes.""You've gotta bring him to me.""I can't. He was old by Fire Nation standard when he trained me. He very likely died while I was exiled." That was saddening but Jet patted her back."That's fine. You can teach him." Oh yeah. She could practically feel Sokka giving her puppy eyes."Would you train me, Master?""Take this. You'll need it." She held out the butt of one of the twin swords. "Jet back up where Toph is or we'll need Katara.""I don't think this bodes well for me." Sokka lamented."Stand straight. Raise your sword.” She held her own straight out, body standing straight. Sokka’s sword clanged with her own. Jet had retreated to Toph's side."On your guard.” She reminded him as his head turned toward Toph. He turned back to her."You're scary when you fight." Alright that felt like he was trying to throw her off guard."No." She swung her sword and it met Sokka's beginning their fight. It felt natural, the motions coming through easily, years of of training sessions and motions flooding back like muscle memory. No, it was muscle memory. She used his foot as a distance to turn and make him keep his defense instead of beginning offense. If he gained offense, she'd never win. This motion made him try to turn to fight her, blades meeting with a loud clang and he turned to meet her."Don’t lose your focus." She reminded him, releasing the pressure on her balade and it made Sokka's nearly swipe at her but she dodged and locked it against the deck, holding the tip down against the metal."I win. You lost focus. You had the perfect hit but you missed me." She let go of the hold on the blade, Sokka handed it back to her."'M not as good as you." That made her frown."My Master would be proud if he taught you, and so will I. I'd love to teach you." She would honor Master Piandao by training Sokka as she once had been."Yes, Master." That made her giggle a bit as he took her hand and pressed the back of it to his lips. "I'd be honored to learn from you.""In that case. I know your first challenge. Jet come here!" She called the Freedom Fighter back over. "Disarm Jet. Both of you, no cheating. Sokka, your feet can't leave the floor and you can't injure each other." She handed Sokka the handles of her swords and moved away to stand next to Toph. "Blades up! Stand straight! Begin!" She called the drill. She could feel the two fighting, Jet was keeping the upper hand. But then Sokka used her trick, he turned with Jet's foot and Sokka pressed the face of the blade against Jet’s throat, making the taller teen give a slight choke of shock."Good job!" She called to them. She was sure they were probably getting tired. She could hear Sokka and Jet huffing. They had certainly fought for at least an hour, just Sokka and Jet’s fight alone. Zuko's with Sokka surely had been fifteen minutes and hers with Jet had been all of thirty minutes. "Take a break. Get some water.""But I need to train." Sokka complained. She puffed out her chest."Don't push yourself. Go take a bath and eat. Both of you." Wow, she actually sounded like she had authority. And Sokka and Jet listened to her. They went off to take baths and eat. That made her kind of giddy that she had gotten two boys taller than her and older than her, even if only by a little, to listen to her and take care of themselves."You're pretty awesome, ya know. Sokka usually stays up all night training." Toph alerted her."Guess I'll have to keep him in bed tonight then." Dammit, she hadn't realized how that sounded out loud versus in her head. She meant that she'd bury him in blankets so he couldn't leave!"It'd be awesome if you could. We're all getting up early tomorrow to leave for the Fire Nation since you're all healed up now. He really should get some sleep for tomorrow." Oh thank Agni, she understood."That boy needs his sleep.""So do you.""I've been sleeping nonstop. I'm up doing things now.""Well, you're only a sixteen year old boy. You need to pace yourself." She reminded her."Girl. Sixteen year old girl." She corrected."Oh, you're like that?" She asked and her heart fell. No, Toph couldn't hate her. Toph was her blindness buddy."I um…you don't have t-""That's awesome. I fully support you as long as you're happy." Zuko breathed a sigh of relief. Toph didn't hate her.
Jet POV
Okay, so maybe he was a bit intimidated by the way Zuko had made her voice sound commanding or maybe he just wasn't over her. Either way, he was definitely listening to her. So he bathed and then went back up to find her during dinner, an easy task as she was sitting with Hakoda, Toph, Aang, Sokka, and Katara. So he slipped to sit next to Sokka, something he really wouldn’t have done otherwise if there had been another open seat. Zuko was rather adorable, dwarfed by Hakoda’s sheer height when he sat next to her."So, Sokka. We got a messenger hawk from your grandmother for you." He handed Sokka the paper."Is it about Hakku?" He asked."Who's Hakku?" Zuko asked quietly, almost intending for nobody to hear her."Sokka's son, dear." Hakoda patted her back."Sokka has a son?" She asked."He's not really my son, I adopted him basically. He was my fiance's son from a bad situation. But her parents were taken by the Southern Raiders and she died, so I took care of him.""Did she die having him?" Toph asked."No, about a week after." Sokka unfurled the paper. "Oh, he learned how to bend." Was that disappointment? He looked over at him and saw Sokka had a couple tears falling. Did it really hurt to miss milestones of a child that wasn't your own?"Sokka, you okay?" Aang asked."Yeah." He rolled back up the scroll, wiping his face with the heels of his hand as he set it down."You're not okay. Talk about it, what's wrong?" Aang encouraged him."Hakku is growing up. He's not a baby anymore.""He's still a tiny human. He still needs you." Katara assured him."He'll grow up and I'll get old and he'll hate me for not stopping his mother." Oh right, the story about the girl named Talia, the one who killed herself. That had been his fiance? And now he had a son that wasn't even his own, could be a firebender."It's okay, Sokka. Hakku will understand when the time comes why Talia did what she did." Katara reminded him."Sokka, remember how we said we'd sail open water to bide time for healing?" Hakoda asked."Yeah.""And remember how none of you went outside for the past week until today?" Hakoda asked."Yeah, Zuko was healing, then being almost murdered, then healing again. I couldn't leave her alone.""Did you happen to see any ice outside while you were on the deck?" He asked."No, Zuko was training me with swords. Why would I…" His eyes went wide with realization, so did Jet's."We figured we have plenty of time before the eclipse for you to see Hakku." Hakoda told him."Dad, that's amazing but…" Sokka wanted to protest, Jet could see it. He wanted to find something bad, but he was struggling. They had plenty of time to get to the Fire Nation for Aang. They could survive a one day stop in the Southern Tribe."We'll be docking in an hour. Maybe you'll get to see him before he goes to sleep." Hakoda told him."Dad, thank you." Sokka was rather quiet now too. Jet continued eating, finishing. Sokka seemed overly eager to see his son again. Jet thought it was kind of cute to see him so excited. He'd never been like this since he met him. Maybe it was something he only showed for Hakku.
Sokka POV
The hour of waiting was absolutely nerve wracking. And explaining to the village that they were not in fact Southern Raiders was difficult. But Kanna came up to them with Hakku, a black bob haired paler one year old that toddled after his great grandmother, holding her jacket and falling when the ship came, face covered in snow but he was set back on his feet by Kanna. Almost immediately Sokka scooped Hakku up and held him."Daddy." And he almost burst into tears."Yeah, buddy. Daddy came back." Sokka assured him."Mine!" He gripped Sokka's hair. Hakoda patted his back."Hello, children. Did you steal a ship yourself?" Asked Kanna."No, we had help. There's allies still on the vessel. Sadly, we can't stay long." Hakoda explained."That's a shame. We miss you around here." Kanna told her son."I know. But this war will be over soon enough." Hakoda assured her."How long will you be staying?" She asked."Just what's left of today. The kids have something very important to do." Hakoda explained. Sokka was busy holding a very asleep Hakku against his shoulder. And he never wanted to let him go. "You don't want to leave him here do you, Sokka?" Hakoda asked."I can't just carry him into war. I can't just take him.""He is a bender, Sokka." Kanna spoke suddenly and Sokka looked up."Like his father?" Sokka felt disappointed, he could bend fire."Like them yes, sadly. He showed a bit later than other benders but that should be okay given his lineage." Fire. Hakku could bend fire. Maybe he could have Zuko teach him."A firebender." Katara seemed overjoyed."We should still leave him here. We can't make a three year old fight against the whole Fire Nation.""He's right. The Eclipse plan is too dangerous. We might lose him." Katara told their father."Is it okay if we leave him here Mother?" Hakoda asked."Of course.""I'll put him to bed." Sokka offered."Alright, dear." Kanna rubbed his arm and saw him off to the igloo."Alright, my little man. Let's get you to bed." He laid Hakku in his bed and tried to untangle little fingers from his wolf's tail. "Okay, Nugget. Get some sleep." He felt horrible leaving right after seeing him again. Thankfully, there were still a few hours left of the day and he intended to use them to stay here and watch over Hakku. It was only two hours until Hakoda came to get him and he said goodbye to the few in the village who were still awake from talking to Hakoda. He trudged back onto the ship and laid back down in him and Zuko's room. He just couldn't sleep. How could he leave him like that? He turned over yet again."Sokka, are you okay? Why can't you sleep?" Zuko asked, pulling him from his thoughts."What? Huh?" He asked, he had been zoning too much to answer her correctly."Sokka, why aren't you sleeping? You can't just not sleep." She reminded him."Not tired." He lied."You know, it's not hard to hear that you're lying.""Fine, I miss my son. Okay?""Then go get him if you miss him." Zuko urged him."I can't just drag a three year old into war.""And you really can't survive without him either. You're not sleeping. Soon you'll probably stop eating too. Then we'll lose you and so will Hakku. So go take Appa and get him. Also lead me to Chief Hakoda's chambers, he'll want to know." Fiery determination and all, Sokka wasn't scared of her but impressed by her. She was right, if he continued like this, Hakku wouldn't have him anymore. The better option was to bring him. He couldn't struggle like he had the first two months without him when he set off with Aang and Katara."Fine." He tugged her up with him and led her to his father's room. "Make sure you knock. I'm taking Appa. We're in Southern waters so there shouldn't be any Fire Navy ships anywhere closeby." And so he left her there to tell his father while he left for Hakku. When he landed Appa and entered Gran-Gran's igloo, he was surprised to see her awake but also relieved."I knew you would take him with you." She smiled knowingly."Bye Gran-Gran." He hugged her tightly."Be safe. For both of you." And so he took Hakku back to the ship on Appa and arrived to Zuko and his Dad waiting for him."Now, come on. You need sleep and so do I." She told him as Hakoda got Appa hidden away again. She dragged him forcibly below deck and had him lead her to their room. Jet had now returned to the room and was against the far back wall looking around."Oh, there you are. I-Is that your son?" The Freedom Fighter asked."Yes, that's his son. We can all talk about this tomorrow. Right now, we're sleeping. Now." Okay, now she was slightly scary. She pulled Jet to bed and cuddled up against him. Sokka was yanked by his pants to get in bed too. So he did, lying down next to her and Jet. Zuko's gentle hands ran over his face. "Hey, he'll be fine." She assured him. He smiled and pulled the blanket up over himself and Hakku and finally could fall asleep.
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Jet POV
When he woke up, he didn’t expect to wake up to see Zuko laying on her back with a three year old on her belly, sitting there, staring between him and his father and Zuko. Let alone did he expect to see gold eyes on a child this young. His features were mostly pale but the raven hair was distinctly water tribe with how it was styled into a wolf tail and the chocolate brown bob length hair was adorned with blue hair ties that made two tendrils of hair hand around his face, framing it. The rest was down in the back. The gold eyes blinked almost anticipating him to say something about him being on top of Zuko but he seemed content laying on her. Thank the Spirits, Zuko woke up then and he didn’t have to say anything."Oh, hey kiddo." She told the three year old tiredly."Good morning." The child greeted her cheerfully."Good morning, honey. How long have you been awake?" She asked."Dis many." He held up all ten fingers."Ten minutes?" Jet asked."Yeah." He nodded."Is your Daddy up?" She asked."No." He shook his head."Well, we should wake your Daddy. Agni is getting higher, breakfast should be soon." She alerted them both."I feel dat." Oh, so he was a firebender? Or was he just that good of a waterbender already that he could sense his opposite element getting stronger? Hakku jumped on Sokka."Up! Up! Daddy! Bekfast!" Sokka gave a choked squawk of surprise that made both him and Zuko laugh at him."Good morning, Munchkin." Sokka rubbed his eyes free of sleep and looked over the boy."Good morning." Hakku echoed."Alright so breakfast, little man?" Sokka asked."Yeah, yeah, yeah. She said so.""Auntie 'Tara?""No, Mama." He pointed to Zuko."You think Miss Zuko is your Mama?" Sokka asked."Yeah." Jet saw something shine painfully in Sokka's eyes."Okay. Z, can you take Hakku to the cafeteria? I'm sure you can track everyone's body heat on the ship. Me and Sokka need to talk." Sokka looked at him in shock for a moment and then glared. Zuko took Hakku out, holding his hand and leading the toddler next to her. "You okay?" Jet asked."Why do you care? You probably just wanna kill him because he can bend fire!" Fire? He had thought it was water. All the same, it wasn't the statement that truly threw him off, it was Sokka's defensiveness. It had to be about Hakku calling Zuko his Mama."Is it Hakku calling Zuko 'Mama'?" He asked. Blue eyes gazed up at him weakly, a new sense of vulnerability shining in them. "He’s probably just confused. It's weird to wake up and meet a new person almost immediately. Plus he's little, he doesn't know any better. And it's also not ruining Talia's memory to move on." Sokka's eyes gained more confidence and less vulnerability."Yeah. Yeah, you're right, I guess." Sokka paused. "You're being nice to get in Zuko or Katara's pants again, aren't you?" He asked."No. Me and Katara were a one time thing, I know that. Yeah, I'm still a not over Zuko, but she's happier single than she was with me.""Is that why you were in here last night?""No, I was in here for you. I was gonna tell you that I wanted to go with you five while you're in the Fire Nation.""As long as you don't try to kill every firebender you see.""I'm over that. My judgement was bad then and I've learned my lesson. I had to change my thought process.""What brought that kind of change?""Smacking my girlfriend for being a firebender and making her cry.""Y-You smacked Zuko?" He hesitated before nodding."I was stupid, I know. And there's no excuse for it. But I needed to change because I love her." That might be the first time he had admitted he loved her."And you didn't try to get in her pants when you helped her take a bath?""She was sick! I'm not a monster anymore and I certainly wouldn't harm a girl who's sick!" Okay, so maybe he was getting defensive. But Sokka was driving him crazy with questions."Okay, I guess I've pestered enough answers from you. So just be less douchey if you try to date her again. Now, she's got my kid, who knows what those two will be talking about if they get on the topic of firebending. Plus, I'm hungry." And so they set off for the cafeteria.
Zuko POV
Being the temporary guardian of a child was nerve wracking. Why the hell did Sokka think she could do this!? She was blind and could barely pinpoint where in this forsaken boat the cafeteria was. Hakku had run off into the crowd of people exclaiming for his Auntie and she currently couldn't find him even though she could clearly hear and knew Katara was eating at a table with Aang and Toph. Suddenly, a yelp came from a man near the corner and she felt something familiar. Fire. She pushed her way toward it and felt heated hands coming her way. She immediately used her own ability, extinguishing the newly made flames and grabbing his hands so he couldn't bend."Hakku, stop. It's me. Calm down." She assured him."Mama.""I lost you. Stay by me, okay? I can't see you so you need to stay nearby." She told him, letting go of his hands and gently picking him up."Chief, that heathen child burned me!" Zuko covered Hakku's one ear with her one hand while hse pressed his other against her chest, he shouldn't have to hear this."Wha- you think my grandson is a heathen?""Come on, Chief! We all know he isn't your real grandson! We heard what happened to Talia!""And my brave son took in his fiance's son as his own. It makes him part of my family no less. He is no heathen just as the ex-Prince is no heathen. He is not less than us just because of his bending. He could have gotten the bending of Talia's parents but that's just not how the Spirits made him.""The Chief is right.""Thank you, Bato.""Spoiled fire runts." Muttered the one standing directly in Zuko's way back to Katara."Excuse me." There was a time for every child to be spoiled. If he wanted so badly to believe she had been, so be it. She pushed passed him and continued toward Katara, mapping directions in her head and sighing as she sat down facing outward from the table next to Katara. Hakku sat comfortably in her lap, hands clutching her shirt."Zuko, what happened? Why is Hakku here?" Katara asked."Sokka went back to get him. It may have taken some coaxing but I couldn't sleep because he kept moving and he wouldn't have gone to sleep otherwise.""Thank you, he has problems sleeping when they're separated.""Hey kids." Hakoda sat next to Zuko and Hakku."Hi, Sir." Was Zuko's immediate reaction to greet him."Just Hakoda, dear." He reminded her."Papa!" Hakku buzzed excitedly and Hakoda picked him up."Hey, Munchkin." He thankfully held the toddler."Make sure you eat, Hakku." Zuko reminded the boy."Okay, Mommy." She was sure her face was reddening."Wait, Mommy? He thinks you're a girl?" Katara asked."I heard the others using girl pronouns for Zuko yesterday too." Aang added."Because I am a girl."'Not physically, you fraud. If you want so badly to be a girl, kneel.' Loomed Ozai's voice in her thoughts. She jerked her head to rid the voice."Oh. That's awesome. I met a Monk like that once but he was the other way.""The Air Nomads accepted that?" "Oh yeah. Air Nomads are all about freedom of the spirit. All that matters is your spirit, your body is just your vessel. We care more about what kind of person you are." That went against everything that the Fire Nation taught their children. But, then again, the Fire Nation also taught her that she was a lesser for her disabilities."And I'm sure Sokka's told you that the Tribes are accepting." Katara added.'Nobody will ever accept you.' Echoed Ozai.'You were wrong.' She thought at his voice.
Katara POV
To say the least, she was a bit shocked. Zuko was a girl. But it also shocked her because the first thing that ran through her mind was that she needed to get Zuko into cuter clothing and make her look prettier. Maybe she could try the same with Toph as well. So she awaited Zuko to eat and dragged the raven to the storage of the ship that contained all the Fire Nation clothes."What are you doing? And why does it involve me?" Zuko asked. She held up red and black cloth against her to measure. "What in the name of Agni is that?" Oh yeah, she couldn't see what Katara was doing."Dressing you properly. You're in boy clothes.""What?" She sounded confused and she cocked her head to the side as well, good eye squinted a bit in question of what exactly Katara planned for her."You're wearing boy clothes. I'm getting you girl clothes.""What color is this? Grey?" She asked."No, red and black. And we probably should start with shoes." She rummaged the room for proper shoes and came up with dark red flats."Do you need the soles cut out like Toph did?" "No, her element is earth. She needs her feet to see. I use my hands." Alright. So no unusually long sleeves or gloves. Zuko replaced her shoes easily enough, "Do you like pink?" "Pink is for girls in the Fire Nation.""But do you like pink?""I guess. Color is color." Zuko shrugged. Katara groaned. This would be a long arduous process of dragging preference information from the firebender."Well, how about dresses? Would you wear a dress?""Yes!" Was her immediate response and Zuko seemed to suddenly buzz with excitement. "Sorry, I got excited.""No, it's good. You like dresses, that's good to know." A few moments passed as Katara rummaged through the clothing and found a pair of black knee shorts and a red and gold dress. "Do you need an undertop?" Katara also grabbed a red and gold undertop."If you haven't noticed, I don't have breasts.""But you could.""What?" She seemed even more confused than last time."Putting socks in the undertop, Zuko. Not magically making you grow boobs. I'm not a magician." Zuko giggled at the joke."So put on the clothes and then we'll adjust." Katara told her, pushing her by her shoulders to the other side of the room and returned to her spot and turned away. After a while of fabric rustling, it seemed Zuko was done changing."I think the chest area is baggy." And so Katara turned back to see Zuko in the simple but pretty red dress with gold trim and collar and the black undershorts. As the raven girl had said, the chest was a bit baggy but the dress looked cute on her. So Katara folded up socks and handed them to the firebender to put in her undertop do the dress would fit better. And, of course, when Zuko turned back from putting them into her undertop, it looked proper on her. "I don't look dumb, right?" She asked, hands playing with the fabric at her hips, fingers moving the back of the dress from the slitted front."No, you look amazing." She assured her."Now let me fix your hair." She began brushing through the short hair before deciding there wasn't much she could do to it. So, instead, Katara put a red and gold trimmed headband in her hair.
Zuko POV
"Y-You look amazing." Came Jet's stuttery response as she tracked the closest heat signature. Oh yeah, she'd almost forgotten Katara giving her a dress."Tha-Thanks. Katara found it in the clothes storage for me." She let her fingers tangle in the fabric again."Well, um...come on. Sokka says he wants you to train with fire before we get to the Fire Nation. So you're not relying solely on your swords.""You'll need to vacate the deck. If I don't use it in a while, my fire's usually really dangerous." She warned him. Of course, it might even be dangerous to her right now. She hadn't used her firebending itself in nearly three months. Not properly at least. Maybe they could just drop her off at some random vacant island so she could potentially blow that apart instead of their boat."Well, I'd suggest shooting the fire into the ocean but it's not a good idea for you to fall overboard again." Wait. She could work with that."Wait. I need to go get the other clothes. I don't want these ones soaked with seawater." She tracked back to the clothing storage and grabbed where she'd left her old clothes, changing easily and catching back up with Jet, throwing her new clothes at Jet to hold as she headed for the deck, Jet running after her still holding the garments."What do you think you're doing!?" He asked."The initial blast might hurt people so vacate the deck then send Aang after me." She alerted him as she went up the steps, exposed skin taking in sunlight."This is reckless and dangerous! Zuko, stop it!" Jet tried to catch up with her through the minute amount of people on the deck. She climbed over the railing on the back, holding onto the metal with her hands with her feel on the edges of the deck."I'd rather put myself in danger than other people. Now, make sure you tell Aang to come get me, okay? I can swim, but I can't stay swimming forever." She reminded him."I-I but...Zuko!" She evaded his hand as he went to grab her shoulder."Make. Sure. You. Get. Aang." She insisted before she took a deep breath and jumped down to the near shock of cold water. She quickly resurfaced to hear Jet yelling at people to clear the deck like she asked.'Finally. He listens to me when I jump over the railings.' She chuckled a bit. Jet always was just as bit stubborn as she was. She began swimming further out until she judged it a safe distance. She took another deep breath and began swimming down into the cold water, body instantly swarming her with warmth. Zuko did a fire blast into the water around her, making something of an instant explosion, nearing the action of blasting jelly, launching water into the air and spews of fire with it. She resurfaced coughing on the air that had managed into her mouth, waiting in the shaking water for Aang.
Jet POV
Okay, she's crazy. He's in love with that crazy. Oh Spirits, he's in love with that crazy woman. Seeing the explosion of fire and water a good ten yards from the back of the boat as he dared to duck his head up from the protective solid railing, that just made him love her that much more. So, barely suppressing his panic, he immediately ran to get Aang and sent him to go get her, pacing until he came back with her. Almost immediately, he hugged her tightly."You're reckless and I love you." Her hands framed his sides but didn't return the hug."Wh-What?" Her voice was small and confused and a little scared sounding."Wait, no. As a friend. I meant I love you as a friend." Okay, bad cover Jet. Bad cover. That could have gone better. He let go of her."Heh, Yeah. As a friend. I love you as a friend too." And she pushed past him to go put her new clothes back on. Oh Spirit, what had he done? Did he really just say that? Why did she sound disappointed? Did she not want to be friends? Oh Spirit, she probably still hated him for smacking her in Ba Sing Se! Jet proceeded to hide him his room all day.
Zuko POV
To say she was internally screaming was an underestimation. She was internally screeching like a fox bat. Jet still loved her and, of course, she still liked him more than friends. But she was also beginning to have feelings for Sokka. She couldn't just lead them both on. She couldn't give either of them a family, they shouldn't want her. This, of course, made her train double strength, drilling her own sequences, happy than nobody wanted to be on the front deck with her besides Katara and Toph, who put up water walls when the fire got even remotely close to them. Eventually, the fire began feeling natural again. And also a bit different as well as she used techniques she remembered from scrolls her uncle had read to her in the Western Air Temple. This, of course, led to both other girls yelling at her to stop her training and she ceased the move."Did I hurt someone?" Her voice poured her worry to them."No, you started making light instead of fire." Katara alerted her."I'm sorry. I didn't know I was doing that." "That was amazing." Katara praised her."Really?" Zuko asked."How did you even learn that? I've never seen anyone do that." Katara asked."Old Sun Warrior scrolls my Uncle read to me during out stay at the Western Air Temple. The Sun Warriors used to be able to control light. So I guess I made an illusion through that." The firebender explained. She trained rather late after that, perfecting her lightbending techniques before Katara dragged her off to bed. Thankfully, Jet wasn't in her and Sokka's room. She slept facing away from Sokka tonight while Sokka laid on his back with Hakku resting atop his chest. Oh Agni, why couldn't she just stop liking them both and pick one?
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Iroh POV
Waiting was horrible. It also left him alone to his thoughts. And his sadness. Of course he wished Zuko alive. But it was fruitless to hope for his nephew's safety. He had been shot with lightning, hope was useless to bring him back, his only hope was that the Avatar could restore balance so maybe, one day, he might see his son and nephew again. The door to his dark cell opened but he refused to look, he knew who it was; Azula's messenger. She had been sending messengers in to ask the same question for the last eight days."Where is Zuko, Iroh." Oh. So she managed to make herself get out of bed, even with her burns."So you can finally move again." It was taunting. Of course it was taunting.'Zuko, my son. May Agni protect you in your journeys without me.' Iroh thought."Answer me, Iroh." She snapped. "How do you think I know where he is? I have been here for the past week and a half, Azula." He sneered her name, he couldn't help it. This wasn't his niece, this was a murderer and she took his nephew from him. He knew he should be logical and, instead, blame Ozai for grooming Azula as the monster she was now, but the loss still hurt greatly. And so he let her hurt with it too. Azula left with a huff, leaving him alone again. 'The Avatar still needs a firebending teacher. Zuko would want that.' And so he got to work.
Zuko POV
So alcohol is a bad idea. A very bad idea. Especially around a Zuko who just wants to forget, even when she can't. What's even worse is when she's sitting in her room with a bottle of cheap fire-cranberry wine, drinking from the bottle and happy she was alone for once. Sure, it felt isolating, but at least there was no crushes to deal with. Or, there wasn't. She didn't really have much time to hide her wine but she honestly wouldn't have been able to anyway. Agni dammit, that was Jet and Sokka."Zuko are you trying to get drunk?" Sokka asked."Maybe.""Give me that." Jet took the bottle away and she gave a groan. She really wanted to lie down but moving felt like a stupid idea right now. Oh yeah, the relative weakness before her full intoxicated state set in. Soon she would be a rambling drunk, or so Jet claimed."Why are you getting drunk?" Sokka asked her."Emotions are hard.""What kind of emotions?" Sokka asked. "So I might have a tiny little crush. Or two. Gah, why are emotions so hard, Sokka!?" She specified with a hand motion with her thumb and pointer how little the crushes were. That was definitely not how big they were. They were bigger, much bigger. This was consuming her mind and driving her crazy. How was she supposed to do anything with these crushes controlling her."Well, yeah. Crushes are hard." Sokka assured her."I love you guys." She draped over them, hugging them."Okay, you need to sleep." Jet was attempting to be logical for her."No." She focussed on him and pressed their mouths together. "I love you. And you." She pulled Sokka by his shirt and kissed him too."Oh?" Sokka asked."Yeah." She couldn't help but giggle. She got a kiss each from her crushes. "I love you both. I can't just pick one. Why can't I pick one?" She pouted.
Sokka POV
Okay, that was cute. Her pouting was adorable. And Sokka was weak to it. He couldn't help but drag her in to kiss her again before stopping himself. She was drunk, very drunk by the looks of it. She had downed most of the strong bottle, in shots if how she was drinking when they walked in was any help. They should get her to sleep. She straddled across Jet's lap and rested her arms around his neck, draped across him lovingly."You're so comfy." She half muttered and half slurred. Good Spirits, her words were slurring, quite heavily too. It was hard to decipher her words. "Sokkaaaa, cuddle me like Jet!" She whined."Zuko, you're drunk. You need to sleep." Sokka reminded her."No. No, I need cuddle." She draped her arms over him now instead."Okay. We'll cuddle if you sleep." Sokka reasoned."Okay." And so Jet laid down with her and Sokka joined him.
Sokka POV
She was asleep in no less than three seconds, fingers tangled in Jet's shirt, leg slung over his still and Sokka cuddled up against her back, her other hand tangled with his."Why didn't you help me talk her down?""I'm her willing victim, I'm not about to stop her cuddling me." Jet told him."Well, apparently she likes us." Sokka reminded him."So what do we do?""Well, she obviously can't make a decision.""She doesn't have to.""What?""What if she dates both of us?" Jet suggested."Both of us?" Sokka was slightly confused."Yeah. Both of us.""What about us? Do we date too?""If you want.""Oh.""So, you wanna bring it up to her in the morning?" Jet urged."Sure, I mean...I like you both." The tribesman admitted."And I like you both too." The Freedom Fighter admitted with a certain air of pride."So we'll tell her in the morning." Jet determined.
Zuko POV
Zuko woke up to a her head pounding and two boys holding her again. Oh Agni, what did she do last night? Did she tell the boys she liked them? If she did they would hate her."Hey, Zu. You up?" Jat asked abover her head, body still cuddled closely to her."Yeah." She answered quietly."Good, you need to eat." She shook her head softly."Don't wanna move.""Alright, well, you can eat in bed. But we need to talk.""You must think I'm so stupid because I can't decide. I told you, didn't I?""You did. But you're not stupid. Zuko, we both like you too.""You do?" She asked."Yep." She nearly jumped out of her skin realizing Sokka was awake also."We were gonna ask you if you wanted to date both of us when you woke up.""I mean...sure but...don't you two hate each other?""No, we resolved that issue while you were getting better the second time." Sokka assured her."Then sure, I guess." She was sure she was blushing rather darkly."She's so cute when she blushes, Jet." Sokka whispered against her ear, making her heat up even more with likely even redder cheeks."I know. You should see how flustered she gets in bed." The fact that they could think about her like that made her heart beat faster. They did like her, they really did."She must be beautiful in bed too." Sokka's lips trailed against her neck softly, innocent but they could turn needy and heated in seconds with the right trigger."She is." Jet confirmed."Later, not when she's hungover." Sokka kissed against her cheek. That made her anxious but also excited. He wanted her like that, like Jet had before? It was a lot of hope but maybe it was okay to run on hope for now, so she could maybe let go of the notion of saving the world just for a little bit and maybe reclaim just a bit of her childhood.
Sokka POV
Seeing her blush was one of the most adorable things he'd ever seen. Especially seeing her fingers spark with excitement. Would she react like that in bed too?"Alright. We've got you excited enough. You need a bath and breakfast or you'll smell like wine all day." Jet recommended. Sure, it was a bit shocking that Jet was responsible but Sokka had to guess a lot changed in Ba Sing Se."I can take care of myself, you know." She assured him, though she let him help her up to her feet."Then you get you cleaned up and me and Sokka will get you breakfast then." She nodded and left to the bathroom connected to the room. The tub began running, letting them know she was indeed taking a bath. Jet dragged him off to the kitchens to get food and bring it back to their room. "We still haven't kissed yet, you know." Oh, Jet wanted to? Did this mean Jet truly did like him too as well as Zuko. He watched Jet set both his and Zuko's bowls down on the metal desk in the room."Well, it you want to, I guess we could." Sokka set his bowl on the table as well, taking the initiative Jet seemed hesitant to. Sokka grabbed Jet's shirt and pulled him forward, mouths close and their bodies almost pressed completely together. Jet wedged their noses closer and Sokka pressed forward, lips touching softly at first until they were on the floor, hands grasping at each other's shirts."Are you boys having fun?" Zuko interupted them, she was laughing on the edge of her voice. Sokka broke the kiss to look at her still in her towel, trembling slightly with contained laughter."Very much. It would be better with you though." Jet invited. And thus she blushed darkly again."Sure." She sat on her knees near them. Sokka almost immediately got up off Jet and took Zuko onto his lap, kissing her forehead."You forgot your clothes in there, Darling." Sokka teased."They smelled like wine." She breathed out, almost like her lungs couldn't breathe. He could make her like this."Well, we can have fun without them too, can't we?" Jet told her, kissing over her neck. She gasped softly against the feeling. Did she do anything that wasn't extremely cute? He really couldn't find a reason to not find her absolutely adorable.
Zuko POV
She wasn't completely sure she wasn't dreaming, it felt too amazing to be real, having two boys kissing her. But this was real, wasn't it? She was dating these two, it was almost too good to be true. Maybe she finally had something she could say wasn't horrible. Sokka's lips moved to rest against her own, hand running over her waist, keeping her close, protective. Jet continued against her spine, slowly lowering his lips."Jet, slow down. She might not want to do that." Sokka told Jet."Keep going, Jet." She demanded him."I know our girl." Jet murmured to Sokka against her back, continuing, hands coming to rest against her hips. "You wanna have some fun with us, Zuko?" Jet murmured against her ear."Yes.""You sure, Zuko?" Sokka tried to confirm."I'm very sure. Keep going, please?" Jet kissed against her jaw, making her blush, fingers running over Sokka's face, kissing over his lips, hands untying his shirt. Jet pulled her towel off her, exposing her to them both. Sokka's gentle but calloused hands ran over her waist."Beautiful." Sokka murmured as he seemed to look over her."She is." Jet confirmed, kissing against her shoulder blades.
Toph POV
She had felt Jet and Sokka come get breakfast, so surely, Zuko was awake. Maybe they could have a girl day, as much as she hated calling it that, like Zuko and Katara had had the previous day. Or maybe...nope, nope, nope. She was not going in that room. Not with the sounds coming from it. She turned right around and went off to help Aang babysit Hakku or maybe try to train with Katara. But she was not going in that room. Hearing it was enough. Nope, nope, nope. She didn't need to know wat they were doing, even if she had a pretty good idea of what was happening. She could hang out Zuko later.'But at least they're a couple not. Or trio? Triad? We'll go with triad.' Toph thought to herself as she distracted herself with metalbending. And she would mention nothing of what she heard. She saw Zuko nearly an hour later, she thankfully gave off no sign that she had been in bed with either of the boys."Hey, Toph." The firebender greeted."Have fun sleeping in?" She asked."...Yeah." She murmured quietly."Wanna have a girl day with me?""Sure." And so they went to the clothing room and both tried on several outfits each before Zuko settled on a dress with a light overjacket and capri pants underneath with a sash that tied around her waist and she had the same shoes on. Toph settled on pants that tied at her waist a tight undertop with a light cropped top, all finished with knee length boots with the soles removed and arm guards that covered her palms. She still wasn't going to mention a word of what she'd heard, she would rather suppress it and pretend she'd never heard them. But it was a good girls day nonetheless.