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The train was harshly cold and the seats were uncomfortably too soft for her liking, Felicidad decided. Kuya Miong was only half-right with what he said during Christmas vacations, she was disappointed but not really. Her brother rushed off the moment he showed her the compartment where she'll be staying, running to his friends and colleagues. Felicidad sighed, this will be a long journey indeed. She had heard stories about making friends the moment you stepped onto the train, the very train she's sitting in, but she's beginning to wonder if recipes for friendship would be different for her. About ten minutes in and no one has magically (Felicidad laughed at the bad, not-so-obvious pun) sat next to her in the cold compartment. No "excuse me can I please sit with you" or "are you alone because I am too".She figured, she's not just alone, she's lonely. Felicidad misses her family badly already, and she wishes that she should have stayed up like what Kuya Miong did last night to bid her farewells through watching the black and white re-runs while drinking orange juice and trying to fight off her sleepiness. She hoped that she was as sleepy right now as she was hours ago. A nap would be easier than trying to comprehend her lack of friends at the moment, that not even a lot of sweets and candies and chocolates will be able to fix. Felicidad was sorted into Slytherin, but honestly, she thinks that the moment the Sorting Hat was placed on her delicate head it knew what it needed to shout. Applause and some incoherent whisperings she doesn't care about was audible, even more so once she approached the roaring crowd and took her place as one of the ambitious and the cunning people of Hogwarts. This isn't so bad, Felicidad thought, kind of convincing herself and erasing the friendless narrative slash complaints she's built in her head for the past few hours. "Welcome to Hogwarts, Felicidad," Kuya Miong and his friends clapped and cheered for her, and she can feel the eyes of some students boring into the back of her head. Being an Aguinaldo was hard and easy, like black and cream coffee mixing together, and sometimes it was worth it, sometimes she'd ask for a difference. "Salamat naman, kuya," she utters, grateful to have his kuya still acknowledging her presence. Over the years, she's heard stories of siblings abandoning their siblings and treating them as strangers once they've reached Hogwarts from her older friends and neighbors. Thank goodness she and Kuya Miong weren't one of them. First year had passed and Felicidad only made some acquaintances and a few good friends, people she’d considered as friends and someone she’d talked to during the breaks between classes, people who were there so she wouldn’t be labeled alone.Quidditch was alright, she figured, she was a superb Chaser with skills enough to win the championship, as Kuya Miong and her family described. Today wasn’t an exception with the effect of those skills, except the Seeker of the Gryffindor team was really good— really really great, and that’s an understatement for Felicidad (who was known to not sugarcoat her words and state everything as they are). Nable Jose, as the commentator called her, was impeccably noticeable with her beauty (almost half the Slytherin team was distracted by her radiant, determined smile the moment they stepped onto the field) and her talent, of course. This was her second match with her and Felicidad was sometimes still awed by her diving and catching, the swift movement of her broom and the way her hands scoop the golden Snitch without much difficulty. “Plus one hundred and fifty to Gryffindor, Nable Jose has caught the Snitch!”
Huh, Felicidad muttered under her breath and joined others on land, rolling her eyes at the sight of Nable Jose with her teammates, hugging and praising her, with Gregorio del Pilar looking at her like she was the loveliest woman alive. The sea of scarlet and gold was irritating enough, and the sight of her crush admiring someone from the rival team made her blood boil. Tossing her broom to the side, she runs off to the Common Room, where the dark green and silver walls enveloped her aching heart. “It’s okay, Feli,” her roommate consoled, “may next time pa naman. This just means na you have to step up your game and train more.”
A beat. Felicidad brushed off her hand on her shoulder. “Is that supposed to be inspirational?”
Gathering all that is left from her sanity, she exits the room with an angry frown. Silently, she wishes for the ground to swallow her whole and never spit her out again. Finding a place of comfort and solace, she found herself looking at the Great Lake. Sighing, she sat down and pulled a handful of grass and pulled it angrily.
“Kung galit ka, huwag mo ibuhos sa halaman.”
That was the first time Nable Jose had talked to her directly— or even addresses her. The girl, her features now much more clear and distinct than how Felicidad first inspected her mid-air on field. Dark hair and brown eyes that reminded her of chocolates during Christmas stared at her and her knuckles full of grass and dirt. “Alam kong malungkot ka dahil sa nangyari, Aguinaldo, pero hindi ‘yun dahilan para manira ka sa school grounds.”
Felicidad laughed bitterly. “Alam mo? Kung gaano ako kalungkot? Please, you’ve just won. Tsaka school grounds pa ba ‘to? Hindi por que star Seeker ka sa school na ‘to you can pretend to care about the nature. Or the establishment. Grow up, Nable Jose.”
A beat. Nable Jose just grinned. “Remedios. You can call me that. I’m excusing your attitude for now. I almost believed the whispers about you. But you’re lucky I can understand the feeling of a loss.” With that, Nable Jose— Remedios, her name was, stood up and walked away from the lake. Maybe Remedios was actually cool— “Ah, Felicidad, I care not just for the school or the grounds or the lake or whatever. I care about you.”— if anything, she was more than cool. Cool, in Felicidad’s vocabulary, was someone who can make her feel like she’s not alone. Remedios certainly did that in an odd way Felicidad has yet to decipher. Finally, third year and she’s finally allowed to visit Hogsmeade, the place everyone’s been talking about. Kuya Miong has a date and her friends don’t want to go for it was “too lame and ordinary”, but Felicidad just wanted to have fun. Buy a snack or two, drink some butterbeer, perhaps even score a point from Goyo— Felicidad was actually excited. Sipping from her cold butterbeer, she walked on the rocky paths, occasionally avoiding the stares of some people passing by. Dolores, she recognized as Nable Jose’s sister (technically, she was a Nable Jose too, but Nable Jose was Remedios in her mind automatically) even smiled at her, albeit small, still warm. The line for the chocolate she wanted was long, and she discovered that Dolores is actually lining up for it too. Except she’s not really, and she taps Felicidad on the shoulder and gives her the same exact treat she’s been wanting with a note in it. In clear, cursive writing, it read, Merry almost Christmas, Felicidad Aguinaldo. I hope you care about plants now.
She laughed. “Pakisabi sa ate mo, thank you.” Dolored just shrugged. “Madalas kang i-kwento sa akin ‘nun. Don’t tell her I said that, ha? Please do talk to her sometimes.” With that, she strolled away from Felicidad, reminding her the same way how Remedios walked from the Great Lake. Now she understands when they say Dolores and Remedios was similar in ways that are not thoroughly visible.
Sometime, Felicidad repeated. Someday.
“Mayroon ka na bang ka-date sa Yule Ball?” Remedios asks her as she catches up with her friend. “Sa sobrang ganda mo, I should’ve assumed na mayroon na.” Felicidad laughed and slowly shook her head. “Wala pa. Still searching for one.” Felicidad thought she saw a flicker of disappointment in Remedios’ face, but she can’t really put her mind into it since it was rumored that Gregorio Del Pilar was already her date. She wasn’t jealous anymore, thank Goodness. Over the months she and Remedios acquainted, it was hard not to fall in love with her— as a friend or more, she doesn’t know. The girl is almost perfect and she understands why every men in this school would drop on their knees just to get Remedios pay them attention. Remedios, on the other hand, was aware of their not-so-subtle admiration (or obsession) but she chooses Felicidad’s company. Sometimes, she brings Clara with her, and even Dolores. Then suddenly she found herself in Potions class, a class she and Remedios enjoyed. But with Remedios partnered off with a kid named Joven and she with Vicente, Gregorio’s friend, it was kind of but not so boring. “Look, I know you’d rather be with your girlfriend, gets ko. Kasi ako din, Joven and I are usually partners in stuff like this. Pero the sooner we get this done, the sooner we can get to them.”
Felicidad’s eyes widened. “Girlfriend? Si Remedios? Kaibigan ko lang ‘yun.” Sana nga girlfriend ko siya.
Vicente chuckled quite loudly. “Pustahan, allowance money for the entire week. Amortentia will tell the truth.” The love potion, great. Bloody great. After the potion was done, Vicente loomed over the cauldron and sniffed. “Smells like Joven. Eh ikaw, Felicidad?”
Felicidad came closer and inhaled. A familiar scent rushed in, the very same scent that told her she cares about her, the same scent that catches up with her during morning walks. Remedios. It smelled like Remedios.
“
Mamaya nalang yung bayad mo sa akin, Felicidad.”
The Astronomy Tower had cold winds with the sky seeming so close, but with Remedios radiating off warmth, Felicidad could stay still forever. Unlike before, the silence wasn’t so deafening and the night was calm. “May date ka na?” Remedios asked for the millionth time today and Felicidad shakes her head. “Tatanungin ko na nga sana siya eh. Ngayon.”
It takes Remedios a second or two to come back to her senses, but when she does, she kisses Felicidad under the bright light of the stars, under the dark blanket of the night sky like she’s the most precious thing she’s held. “Kaya pala you said no to Del Pilar, ano?” Felicidad and Remedios both chuckled loudly. “Shut up,” Remedios orders, and kisses Felicidad again. Outside, Joven, Vicente, and Goyo stood huddled in a corner. “I bet you my lunch money she thinks that her surrendered allowance is definitely worth it.”
The Hogwarts Express wasn’t so unfairly cold anymore and the seat was taken, Felicidad mused. Friendships— no, scratch that, love, surely has different ways to offer.