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Of all the kids in the whole entire world for Karkat to get as his very first assignment, it had to be Dave fucking Strider, didn't it?It wasn't a coincidence, obviously. He wasn't stupid. The administration not-so-subtly had it out for Karkat all the way through his courses, so of course they'd make sure he was given the absolute worst assignment possible for his final exam. This whole thing was fucking rigged! It was supposed to be Karkat's opportunity to prove himself as a capable monster, and when he heard he was assigned to a human child, he and everyone else thought it would be a walk in the park. Instead, this human child was making Karkat a goddamn laughing stock!Human children were usually the easiest things to scare. Just a few taps of a claw on their bedroom window was enough to get them running to their parents, which is why Karkat had his expectations so high that he'd be passing this test with flying colors on the very first night. What everyone else didn't know was that the human child known as Dave Strider was the most fearless douchebag on the planet, and after a solid week of trying every single trick in the book to spook him, none of Karkat's training was doing him any good.There was no reaction when Karkat stomped around on the roof above his room. Not a single peep from scratching on the door from within Strider's closet. The freak didn't even care when Karkat reached up from under his bed and grabbed his foot dangling off the side of his mattress, he just yanked it back, rolled over, mumbled, “Could you not?” and then fell asleep! What the fuck!The kid must have had a spine made of fucking kevlar. Karkat was losing his mind trying to figure out how to scare him under the strict parameters of not causing any physical harm, but it was beginning to look like it was impossible. Nobody else knew that, though. All they knew was that a monster was being bested by an eight year old, and Karkat would not be getting his license in this century if he had that blight on his record. He had only one more night to find a way to scare Dave Strider or he was doomed!With time running out and nothing else to lose, Karkat prepared to bring out the big guns on the final night. He'd get higher marks if he used more subtlety, but at this point, all the monster wanted to do was pass, so he soundlessly slinked into the shadows under Strider's bed while he slept and concentrated on morphing his form into the most grotesque thing he could. He began the haunt with a low feral growl, gradually getting louder as he prepared to pop out, shred the blankets off Strider's scrawny little body with his claws, and snap his sharp fangs right in the human child's face! If that didn't get Strider wetting his bed, then surely nothing would.Right before Karkat could put his plan into action, though, a noise from elsewhere in the apartment beat him to it. It sounded like the front door opening and slamming shut, which somehow proved more effective in waking Strider up with an uncharacteristic start than Karkat's growling. Heavy footsteps walked around the place and a light flicked on, making the bottom of the bedroom door glow. The hell? It was the middle of the night, shouldn't the kid's guardian be asleep?A certain smell started to become noticeable just then. Karkat sniffed the air to find exactly what he'd been trying to obtain for more than a week now: the sweet scent of fear. Ah, so the kid could get scared! But...it wasn't Karkat that had scared him. The monster's ears picked up the rustling of Strider shifting in his bed, bringing his covers up over his head, and Karkat felt his sudden jolt at the sound of a dropped glass object in the other room. A bottle? The child's delicious fear became almost overwhelming to Karkat's nose when a low irritated voice called the child's name as the unsteady footsteps drew closer.Suddenly, there were little feet hitting the carpet directly in front of Karkat's face. The monster was shocked when the human child dropped to the floor and started scrambling under the bed, ignoring Karkat's wide glowing eyes and pushing him aside. “Move over!” he demanded, a slight tremor in his voice, and Karkat was bewildered enough to do as he was told, giving Strider just enough room to cram himself next to the monster under his bed. The kid's eyes were locked frightfully on the bedroom door as it was thrown open by the tall imposing figure of a human man silhouetted in the light from the hallway behind him.Oh. Now it made sense why Karkat couldn't scare Dave. He already had a monster.“Get yer'ass out here,” the man commanded, his breath stinking of alcohol from all the way across the room and making Karkat's nose wrinkle. Dave bit his lip and tried to shrink further back towards the wall behind him. “Did ya hear me, fuckin' brat? Get. Your. Ass. Out. Here.” The child was holding his breath. “I'm gonna whoop yer ass twice as hard if I have to drag you out of there again, boy. You have 'till the count of three.”The human adult started to count. Dave whimpered and squeezed his eyes shut, but he started to begrudgingly move forward, resigned to his fate. Karkat clenched his teeth.Fuck the exam. Fuck Karkat's license. Fuck everything. Karkat was a living nightmare, but this? This was disgusting.The monster grabbed Dave by the shoulder and pulled him back under the bed, then crawled out in his place. His gruesome twisted body fluidly emerged from the darkness and he rose to his full height, horns scraping the ceiling as he loomed over the intruder, who had fallen backwards onto his ass with a pathetic yelp at the horrifying sight. Thick saliva dripped from Karkat's bared fangs as he opened his mouth and said in a loud raspy growl, “IF YOU HURT THIS CHILD, I WILL RIP YOU LIMB FROM FUCKING LIMB AND TAKE A SHIT IN YOUR SKULL.”The man screamed. Karkat took a threatening step forward and leaned down to fan the other's face with his hot breath, reaching out to pin the man to the ground by the neck as he tried in vain to get away.“DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR, HUMAN MEAT BAG?”“Shit – yes, l-let me go!”“NOT UNTIL I HEAR IT FROM YOUR OWN MOUTH,” the monster pressed. The terrified man struggled against the claws around his throat and choked out an answer.“I-I won't hur-rt him! I s-swear!”“GOOD. NOW GET THE FUCK OUT.”Karkat didn't have to tell him twice. The moment he let go, the man jumped up, only to fall over himself in his drunken panic, and he ran right out of the apartment. Though none of this was part of Karkat's assignment, in fact it was probably going to flunk him, he had to take some pride in that incredible scare.The satisfied monster wiped the gross spit off his mouth with his arm and turned around to see Dave peeking out from under the bed, his young eyes wide in disbelief at what just happened. Karkat had spent this whole time hating the kid's guts, but now, all he could feel for the human child was pity.Ugh, great. Karkat was definitely not going to pass his exam.He made himself smaller, for once trying to appear less intimidating so that he could coax the poor thing out. “He won't hurt you anymore,” he said, lifting the bed slightly to make it easier for Dave to get up. The child shakily got to his feet and rubbed the water from his eyes, and Karkat felt a strange pang from somewhere deep in his chest at the sight. He would have thought it was his heart breaking, if he had one.“...Thanks,” Dave said, his voice so utterly small. Before Karkat could stop himself, he was giving Dave's little blond head a reassuring pat, careful not to scratch him.“Don't mention it,” he shrugged awkwardly. “You gonna be okay, kid?” Dave sniffed and nodded. Karkat, not really knowing what else to do, helped guide the child to his bed and tucked him back in. Dave held his blanket up to his chin, never once looking away from the monster, still not a hint of fear in those eyes. Somehow Karkat was a little less annoyed by that now. “Hey, uh...don't tell anyone about this, okay? I could get in big trouble.”“Okay,” Dave agreed easily. Satisfied with that answer, Karkat stood back up to leave, but he was stopped when a tiny hand shot out from under the blanket and grabbed his arm. “W-wait!” Karkat looked at him expectantly. “What's, um...what's your name?”The monster blinked in surprise. “Er...it's Karkat.”Dave gave a little smile. Shit, there's that weird chest pang again. “Cool. Mine's Dave.” Karkat resisted the urge to say 'I know' and simply nodded. “Can you stay, Karkat?”Did a human child really just ask a monster to stay? Fuck, this was weird. “I can't.”“Please?” Dave pleaded. “I don't want to be alone...”“Oh, for fuck's sake-” The monster grumbled, but one look at that face had him sighing in defeat. Forget failing the exam, Karkat was going to be lucky if he wasn't expelled for this. “Fine. But only for tonight, got it?” Dave smiled again as Karkat started melting into the shadows on the floor. “I'll be right down here. Now go to sleep, you little shit.”The child settled down after that and Karkat returned to the cramped dark space under the bed, listening to the faint sound of the other's heartbeat slow down as he gradually drifted off. Karkat could have easily left then and the child would never have known, but he ended up staying the entire night, anyway, just in case. If Dave's guardian dared to come back and try anything again, the monster was going to make good on his promise.He never did, though, and as the edges of the horizon threatened the sky with dawn, Karkat bid the human pain-in-the-ass a quiet goodbye. He somehow knew it wasn't a final goodbye as he disappeared out a crack in the window. Something told him he hadn't seen the last of Dave fucking Strider. Karkat did eventually get his license, though it took way more bullshit than it really should have, and he was finally free to pick his own assignments. He kept himself pretty busy these days, being one of the more high ranking monsters in the association, despite his rocky beginnings, but when a certain name appeared on the board, he immediately stopped in his tracks.Dirk Strider.
Strider?
Karkat knew very well that there was likely to be more than one human with the last name Strider out there. There was a very small chance this five year old had anything to do with the human child he failed to scare in his first attempted final exams, but still, he couldn't help but take the job, if only out of a strange sense of nostalgia.He visited the 'Strider' household that very night. The monster crept out of the closet, making sure that the door creaked behind him, and stalked his way around the child's room, anticipating nothing more than a quick routine scare. He hadn't scared a kid this young in ages, he'd graduated to pre-teens many years ago, so he had to consciously dial himself back. No sense in overdoing it for such a low level job.There was something odd about this one, though. The kid was slumbering peacefully under a colorful My Little Pony printed blanket, with an assortment of pastel colored stuffed animals scattered all over the floor. Dirk Strider was a boy, wasn't he? That's what the listing said. It also said Dirk was an only child, so this couldn't be his sister's room or something. Not wanting to be humiliated by accidentally scaring the wrong kid, Karkat crawled along the walls towards the bed and extended an arm out to tug at the blanket covering the human child's face, wanting to get a better look and confirm that he was in the right place. When he did, Karkat couldn't help but suck in a shocked gasp.
Dave!
Of course, it wasn't actually Dave, this kid was clearly a bit younger, but fuck if he wasn't the spitting image of that little douchebag from decades ago! Even his short blond bedhead was on point. Karkat leaned in closer, studying the child's features curiously, but his ominous presence didn't go unnoticed. The child's eyes fluttered open in confusion, and when they caught sight of what was hovering directly over him, Karkat braced himself for the incoming ear piercing scream.“...Are you Karkat?” the child asked instead, rubbing his sleepy face with a little balled up fist. Karkat's glowing red eyes went wide in surprise.“...Huh?”“Daddy told me about you,” Dirk said calmly, not a hint of fear wafting from him, much like a certain person Karkat once knew. “He said you look scary, but you're actually really nice.”“Nice?!” The monster bristled at the insult. “I'm not nice! You're daddy doesn't know shit.” The kid giggled. Fucking giggled. Yup, there was no doubt in Karkat's mind that this kid was related to the exact douchebag he was thinking of. “I think I outta have a chat with your 'daddy'.”“Okay.” Dirk pointed in another direction with a yawn. “He's over there.”“Thanks,” Karkat grumbled, and he got off the wall to make his way towards the door, then slipped into the hallway and went towards the general direction that Human Douchebag Child 2.0 had pointed to. He found a another bedroom with its door cracked slightly open, and he quickly let himself inside to find an adult version of the kid he once knew snoring soundly in a much larger bed. After all of these years, Karkat couldn't believe that he'd found this guy again, and that Dave was still finding ways to aggravate him to no end.The professional monster didn't bother to be sneaky and walked right up to grab the man's foot that was dangling off the side of the bed. Dave startled awake mid-snore, and Karkat took some satisfaction in having finally been able to scare him, even if just a little spook. The human adult blearily looked around in confusion before finding the shadowy horned figure standing near the foot of his bed, and it greeted him with a sharp toothy smile.“Hello, Dave.”Realization dawned on his face, and he smiled back. “'Sup, Karkat?”
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Jake didn't know his grandmother had been a witch until many years after she died.He'd only met her a handful of times when he was a small child, and only when she traveled away from her island home in the middle of nowhere on rare occasion. She'd been very nice, if he remembered correctly, but he never got the chance to get emotionally attached, so when Grandma Jade passed away while Jake was still in middle school, he was able to handle it better than he otherwise would have, though not without a little nagging guilt from never having gotten to know her. That's why it came as a complete surprise to everyone when it was found that she'd left little Jake her entire house in her will.Jake couldn't actually inherit the house until he at least eighteen, though, and because it was so far away, his family couldn't properly maintain it until then. It had fallen into some disrepair by the time Jake, now a young man of twenty five, finally had the opportunity to go there and see it for himself. He still wasn't sure if he planned on keeping it, though. At the very least, he could fix it up and sell it to fund his globe trotting adventures!Sure, it felt kind of bad to be selling a gift like this that had clearly been treasured by his grandmother, but in the will she'd stated clearly that he could do with it however he saw fit, so that seemed like permission enough. He cherished the opportunity she had generously given him and he was determined to lovingly return the house back to its former glory before putting it on the market. Grandma Jade would have appreciated that.But boy howdy was there a lot of work to do! The foundation was still solid and the structure was sound, but the roof needed some repairs, some of the floorboards creaked, a bit of damage from a family of squatting mice had to be addressed, and the garden had gone absolutely wild. It was going to take a lot of elbow grease to put this place back together, but Jake wasn't deterred, and when he was ready to take on the challenge, he moved in.That's when he started finding all of the potion bottles and spell books.Goodness, Grandma Jade had some interesting hobbies! She even had a reputation in the little town on the other side of the island. Not a horrible one, but enough for the townfolk to take a little convincing to warm up to Jake's presence. Apparently, Grandma Jade was known to put curses on people who angered her, but there were also lots of stories about her bringing gifts and good fortune to those who treated her well. She was neither a good witch nor a bad witch, it seems. All she wanted was to be respected and live in peace. Jake could understand that.He couldn't believe she'd been living alone in the middle of the woods this whole time, though. What an iron strong will that woman must have had! Jake didn't mind a little solitude himself sometimes, but he couldn't imagine living years of it at a time. It was a shame that his family didn't take the time to visit or invite her over more often, but it was a hell of an undertaking just to get here, what with the only way off and on the island being by a two day boat ride. She seemed to have been content, though.Regardless, the young man threw himself into this new project the moment he stepped foot on the property. It wasn't like he had anything else to do, what with there being no internet or even cable all the way out here. Grandma Jade only had an old rabbit ear TV, a radio, and a room stacked to the ceiling with books for entertainment. The first few days were a bit maddening, but over time, Jake started to find an unexpected appreciation for being completely unplugged. It was quieter. Slower. Relaxing. It might have been the first time he was able to truly hear his own thoughts! After a couple weeks of unwinding in this odd new world, he was starting to wonder how he survived his entire life with so many constant pressures and distractions. Maybe Grandma Jade wasn't so crazy after all.One day after a trip to town for groceries and supplies, he realized he forgot to check the mailbox on his way back. He knew his mother would be sending him a letter soon and he was looking forward to writing her back. (What a blessing texting had been! And yet, this outdated method of communication felt so much more personal, he discovered.) The mailbox was at the end of the gravel driveway, which was far enough away that it would be more convenient to drive there in his car, but it was a nice day and he fancied a walk, so Jake put on a light jacket and began the trek through the trees towards the main road. He made sure to have his gun holstered on his hip, just in case he encountered any wildlife foolish enough to think Jake was a snack. Living this far out in the wilderness was beautiful, but also a little dangerous, much to Jake's excitement. It even made a walk to get the mail its own little adventure!Jake knew most animals would stay away so long as he made noise while he walked, so he whistled a tune while kicking a rock down the long winding dirt road, avoiding the dips and mud puddles that he'd have to fill in at some point. Since he was taking his time, the young man was able to observe his surroundings more than he usually did while driving by in his car, and along the way, something behind a bush caught his eye. He thought it was a large boulder at first, but the shape of it was too strange to be just any old rock. Jake left the path for a moment to investigate, and when he pushed the overgrowth aside, he found the strangest thing!A old looking stone statue had been standing here this whole time and Jake never knew it until now. Moss clung to the north side of its chipped and weathered body, but the impassive face of an unknown character was clear enough. It blankly stared back at Jake while he brushed some fallen leaves from its shoulders and gave it a full-body inspection.“Goodness, what a curious find!” he exclaimed. “What are you doing all the way out here, sir?” There was no reply from the carving, of course, and a quick glance around the wooded area didn't reveal anything else like it. It appeared to be a random statue standing in the forest for seemingly no reason. Jake didn't buy that, though. “Guarding any secrets, perhaps? Maybe the entrance to a long forgotten tomb? A horde of buried treasure?”The statue's lips remained permanently sealed. Jake took a step back to observe it, trying to find a plaque or something that could give him an indication to who this was supposed to be of or what its purpose was. There was none, though, and the figure's oddly plain appearance didn't give away any clues. The man it was depicting had a handsome face with a nice strong jaw, and his sculpted hair was meticulously groomed, but no other defining features.Deciding to come back for a more thorough investigation later, Jake bid the bloke a polite farewell and returned to his mission at hand. The mailbox was still a ways up the road from where he found the statue, so when he turned around with his mother's letter in hand, it scared the ever loving piss out of him to find it standing about twenty paces away.“Jumpin' Jehosaphat!” Jake exclaimed and almost dropped his mail. For a second he thought it was a real person, but a couple heart hammering seconds went by and the figure remained stock still. “What the actual blazes...?!”It appeared to be the exact same statue as before, except this one was frozen mid-step in the middle of the driveway instead of standing off to the side. It definitely hadn't been there before or he would have noticed it. Jake didn't hear anything behind him, no movement in the bushes, no footsteps, and yet this – this thing managed to get the drop on him! There was no way the statue had followed him, was there?! And if it did, then how? And more importantly: why?!Jake took a moment to look around, unsure of what to believe and what he should do. He was half expecting to find hidden cameras for some prank show, but his environment gave him no clues. When he returned his eyes back to the statue, he jumped backwards when he realized it was somehow a few steps closer!“S-stay back!” he demanded, putting his hand on the handle of his gun, ready to draw it at the slightest hint of movement, though he wasn't sure what good a bullet would do against something made of stone. “I don't know what you are but I don't want any trouble!”The statue remained silent and still. Jake didn't dare take his eyes off of it, in fear that it might move again. The stand-off lasted five whole minutes until Jake finally summoned the courage to do something. He had to get home, but this scary fellow was standing in his way. He could walk around it, but that meant getting closer, and without knowing what its intentions were, that was the last thing he wanted to do! It was the only thing he could do, though, so he took a deep breath and began slowly skirting the edge of the driveway as far from it as possible, keeping his gaze locked onto the statue, not even daring to blink the entire time. He'd watched Doctor Who as a kid, so he should know how to handle this! He hoped so, anyway.Luckily, the haunted statue stayed put, and once Jake deemed himself far enough away from it, he broke out into a run. He had to turn his back on it to do so, and he prayed that if it hadn't caught up with him while he was walking to the mailbox, then it wouldn't catch up with him now. Before going around the bend, he looked over his shoulder to see, to his horror, that the statue was facing his direction, and it appeared to be giving chase. Jake picked up the pace and ran all the way home, and by the time he shut his door and locked it behind him, he was out of breath and collapsed on the floor.“Thank the stars!” he groaned and let his head fall back to rest against the door behind him, adrenaline still pumping through his veins as he came down from his fright. Somehow he felt like he was safe here, though he had no real reason to think that. “What the bloody hell was that thing?!”Just as his heart rate was slowing down, it was jolted back into a panic at the sudden sound and feeling of something heavy thudding against the porch right outside. He got on his knees, crawled over to the nearby window, and peeked through the curtains to see what it was, though part of him really didn't want to know, and another part of him already did. Standing on the bottom step with its hand on the railing was a familiar stone face.The statue had followed him home, and Jake nearly fainted.Lucky for him, it seemed the creature couldn't get into the house by itself. Unlucky for him, it was perfectly content to hover right outside, even peeking into the bottom floor windows, despite Jake yelling at it not to. He was trapped inside until it went away...if it was ever going to go away. It's a good thing he just obtained groceries.Jake went through all of his grandmother's weird books trying to find some answers to this terrifying mystery. There was no way something like this existed on her property without her knowing about it, right? If she was a real witch, then she must have had some kind of ward or charm that could make it leave. At the very least, she would have known what it was.He finally found his answer a few days later in a dusty old book at the bottom of a stack in her study. One of the yellowed pages was dog-eared, and all of the faded writing in it was by hand. He recognized it as her handwriting, and it appeared to be some kind of journal or log. The marked entry happened to be exactly what he'd been looking for, and when he managed to translate her fancy cursive, his stomach sank.Apparently, the creature outside was a golem.The entry was actually a recipe, and it listed all of the weird ingredients she used to create the thing outside as if it were the recipe for a simple cake. Three cups of shredded yarrows, seventy four ounces of chalk dust, soaked and fermented heart weeds, a dash of obsidian, a handful of dirt, a drop of her own blood, and several other magical items that Jake had never heard of. Somehow all of this combined to form the spell that made a stone golem, which she'd used as her property's enchanted security system. The stone man's purpose was to guard against intruders, and that was the part that made Jake shudder. It must have been chasing him because it thought he was an intruder!To Jake's dismay, there were no notes on how to ward away the golem. He supposed he'd just have to wait it out, but he didn't even know if that was possible! He had about two weeks until he ran out of food, so he'd give it that long to lose interest. If it didn't, then Jake would just have to take matters into his own hands. There was a sledgehammer in the tool shed out back. If he could get to it, then maybe he could destroy the creepy thing...or maybe that would just make it angry.To pass the time while he was home stuck, Jake continued to work on the house from the inside. It was dusty and he longed to open a window, but he didn't dare give the waiting golem outside an opportunity to sneak in. It could usually be found either wandering around the yard or sitting on the porch at most times, quietly waiting and watching, and Jake tried to ignore it the best he could, keeping all of the curtains drawn and listening to the radio to get his mind off it. Jake was quick to grow stir crazy, but by day nine, he was delighted to find the statue was suddenly nowhere in sight. He gave it another day, just in case, but there was no sign of the golem anywhere. No looming threatening presence, no menacing shadows in the tree line, no fresh tracks in the dirt.Jake emerged from the back door of his house carefully. He retrieved his sledgehammer and kept it with him at all times, but he ended up never needing to use it. A whole week went by with not a single sighting. Jake was starting to think he was in the clear, so he quickly got started on fixing the roof, wanting to have it completed before the winter rains came in. It was the safest thing he could think to do with his unknown stalker still out there, since he was sure it probably couldn't climb, and the roof gave him a great vantage point to keep an eye out. If he saw it again, this time, he knew he'd be prepared! Or...at least, he thought he'd be. Jake turned out to be wrong about that.One day as Jake was descending the ladder from the roof, a sudden gust of wind from an incoming storm knocked into him at just the wrong time and angle, and it threw him off balance. He yelped as the ladder wobbled, but just as he was sure it was going to fall over and take him with it, there was a sudden jolt from the bottom that stabilized him. When he realized he wouldn't be taking a tumble after all, Jake looked down to see what had saved him, and his eyes grew to the size of dinner plates.The golem was back, and it was holding onto the ladder with both hands, keeping it steady with its sturdy stone grip.“Cripes!” Jake exclaimed in shock. “What the dickens are you doing?!” The statue, of course, said nothing. The pose it was frozen in looked like it had ran to catch the ladder in the nick of time, and Jake couldn't help but wonder...if it was trying to kill him, wouldn't it have let him fall?“Are you...are you helping me?” More silence. Jake held his breath and took a chance, looking away for a moment just to see what the golem would do, and when he looked back down, it was standing off to the side, its face turned up to look at Jake with that same blank expression, no hint of murderous intent. “...Holy bananas, you are, aren't you?”With no way to get an actual reply, Jake had no choice but to go down there and trust that it wasn't going to immediately murder him right after saving his life. He took a deep breath and held it as he slowly descended towards the ground, keeping his eyes locked on the stationary creature. It held its position, still looking towards the sky where Jake had been as he came to stand in front of it, grabbing his sledgehammer for protection and putting a few steps between them while his head screamed at him to run. He didn't, though. He was done running and hiding, he wanted to get to the bottom of this!“Er...thank you?” he tried. “I'm, uh, I'm going to look away, just for a moment,” he warned, hoping his voice didn't sound as unsure as he felt, “and when I do, if you dare get any closer to me, I won't hesitate to break you into a thousand pieces, got it?” No response. Not even a twitch. “Okay...okay. Here goes...”Jake held his breath, squeezed his eyes shut, and counted to three. It was the most nerve wracking three second of his life, but when he opened his eyes again, he was utterly relieved to see that the statue had understood him. It moved while Jake wasn't looking, now facing towards him, but thankfully it hadn't come an inch towards Jake, aside from extending its hand out, as if asking for a handshake. Jake exhaled and ran a hand through his hair.“Well, I'll be damned! Okay, so, I take it you're not actually trying to hurt me, then? Could have fooled me, you dingus! What's a guy supposed to think when you chase him all the way to his front door?” Jake came forward and gratefully took the offered hand, though all he could do was briefly squeeze it. “You need to work on your manners, old chap.”Jake let go and closed his eyes again, giving the statue a chance to respond somehow if it wanted, and he opened them to find it had retracted its hand and its head was tilted down guiltily. Wowzers, it wasn't just a mindless golem, the hunk of rock might actually be sentient! Jake was getting giddy now that he'd made this amazing discovery. He'd been feeling quite lonely out here lately.“It's quite alright, I'm just glad we got that sorted out before I turned you into smithereens! Grandma Jade probably wouldn't have liked that. She made you, yeah? Were the two of you friends?” Jake closed his eyes. The statue's hand was now lifted in a thumb's up. “Then I suppose that makes us friends, too!” He laughed, but then he gave it a moment of thought. “...Ah, goodness, you must have been out here awhile all on your own, though, huh? And I'm sure you've been missing her terribly. No wonder you were so hasty to follow me...” Jake cheerfully clapped his hands together. “Tell you what: why don't I help clean you up and we can start over? It would be great to have some company around here. What do you say? Oh, um, raise your right hand for yes, and your left hand for no.”Jake closed his eyes. When he looked again, the golem's right hand was raised, and its lips were even curved up in a little smile. How cute! Jake smiled back and gave it a friendly pat on the mossy shoulder.“Wonderful! I'll grab the garden hose. I'm sure you'll feel better once we get all of that lichen off you. My name is Jake, by the way! Jake English. We'll have to see what we can do about figuring out your name.” In the end, Jake never sold the house. It was surprisingly cozy after he finished with all of the repairs and renovations, and he even learned a bit of simple potion making from his grandmother's books. Jake still got to travel the world just like he'd always dreamed, but it was comforting to know there was always a place for him to hang his hat, as well as a good friend to welcome him home.
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Sollux really hated pirates.He'd gone from being the navigator on a merchant ship to a prisoner swabbing the deck of this disgusting crew of outlaws literally overnight. His boat, the Golden Bee, was attacked under a moonless sky, and they surrendered pretty fast once they realized how outgunned they were. They'd expected the pirates to take the cargo and leave, but as their luck would have it, the thieves weren't actually after the cargo. They'd been after the crew.Sollux and a handful of others were captured and marched onto the deck of the pirate ship before canon fire ripped the Bee apart, sinking her with the rest of her helpless crew right before his eyes. One one hand, he was fortunate to have been one of the few spared. On the other, now he and the others were slaves being worked to the bone, and it still wasn't clear for what reason they'd been taken for. The pirates weren't short handed on deck, nor did they stock enough supplies to feed the extra mouths they'd taken in, as if they didn't intend to have them around for the entirety of the voyage. No matter how Sollux looked at it, none of this boded well for he and his mates, who were trying desperately to stay hopeful for their release or rescue. Sollux's gut feeling turned out to be correct, though, when the bell in the crows nest rang to signal land, and he watched in dread from the railing as the pointed rocky teeth of Condescension Cove emerged from the thick morning fog.Any navigator would know this infamous island where countless ships sank, and any navigator would go to great lengths to avoid it. Any navigator except for Captain Ampora, apparently.The purpose of the prisoners was made very clear shortly after that: They were bait. siren bait, specifically. Captain Ampora was an absolute madman who thought that he could capture one of the dangerous creatures that were rumored to lurk in these waters and bring it back alive, and he was planning to use human sacrifices to do it.All Sollux could do was wait for his turn to die as he and his panicked crew mates were escorted to the deck once a day for one to be hand-picked by the captain himself and tied to an anchor, like worms on a fishing hook. The screams would be silenced with a splash once it hit the dark waters below, and not long after, dark shapes could be seen circling the ship before the rich color of red blood bloomed around the trembling chain. Once it grew still, they knew it was time to pull the anchor back up, and the only parts of the men that ever came back were their bound hands, and sometimes a gnawed foot that was missing a few toes. It wasn't clear whether they died of drowning or from being eaten by whatever was down there, but Sollux hoped it was the former, for their sake.Captain Ampora smiled in twisted satisfaction at every gruesome death. He watched from the railing, leaning on his elbows and speaking affectionately to the churning water as if praising a pet while giving it a treat. It made Sollux sick. The captain wasn't even trying to catch one of the beasts for the first couple days, he was trying to gain their trust, luring them closer and closer to the surface with each offering. By the time it was Sollux's turn, it was finally time to spring their trap.“Cheer up, boy, there's some hope that you might actually survive!” Captain Ampora said cheerfully as Sollux's hands were tied together above his head on the anchor he was forced to lay on. “Not much, but still.” The rope secured his body tightly to the cold metal and he uselessly writhed against his bonds. “Yes, do try to struggle as much as you can. They like that.”“Go fuck yourself,” Sollux hissed, which only made the infuriating captain laugh. The man grabbed the prisoner's chin with his bejeweled fingers and forced his head still so they could lock eyes. Violet amusement made Sollux's blood boil.“You have a lot more fire in you than your pathetic colleagues did. I like that.”Sollux gave him the only reply he deserved. A big glob of spit hit Ampora right in the face, and Sollux took some brief satisfaction in the way the other's grin fell to an irritated grimace. “Go. Fuck. Yourself.”The captain took a step back with a practiced calm and wiped his face off with a silk handkerchief. When he was done, he tucked it back into his pocket and signaled to his crew to start turning the crank. “I was going to let you have your final words, but I guess those will have to do.” Good. There's nothing else that Sollux wanted to say, anyway. “On with it!”The anchor jolted as it was pushed by several men towards the water. Sollux didn't know how to swim, but he knew to hold his breath, and he filled his lungs as much as he could before taking the plummet. He hit the icy water hard and the shock nearly emptied his lungs right then and there.After the last several days of punctual feeding, the sirens were already present and waiting. As soon as the bubbles around him cleared, Sollux could hear them whispering all around him, their voices faint yet deafening. Just a few feet above him, the surface glimmered oh-so-tantalizing. He was so close to air and yet just out of reach!A shape moved in the corner of his vision. Sollux tried to turn his head to see it, but it was gone before he could. There was a tinkling laugh from somewhere to his right. A growl from below. The voices grew louder, their words becoming more clear:“I want this one.”“No way, you got the last one!”“Ugh, its so scrawny...”“Do you see it's eyes? They're different colors.”Sollux shivered. There were more visible movements now, shadows emerging from the gloom and circling like sharks, gradually getting closer as Sollux's lungs began to burn. His heart beat frantically in his ears as the blurry shapes formed faceless silhouettes the closer they came, rising from the depths like ghosts, and just as it seemed they were going to pounce, one voice spoke much louder than the others.“This one is mine. Leave it.”The command seemed to echo from every direction, which caused the gathering crowd to scatter and for Sollux's head to spin. His eyes darted around trying to find the source, but he couldn't see anything. The edges of his vision were starting to fade.“No fair, she doesn't even eat them!”“Figures. Small and pathetic, just her type.”“Do you think she'll let us have it once she's done playing?”The man felt something grab his legs. He jolted and looked down, and the last little bubble he had tumbled out of his gaping mouth at what he saw.She was the most beautiful woman Sollux had ever seen. Long ebony locks floated around her oval face, pink lips smiling in childlike excitement, large dark eyes like pools of midnight dripping with curiosity. Her hair spilled over her bare pale shoulders like ink, arms outstretched to crawl up the length of Sollux's body, her touch surprisingly careful. Behind her, a large fuchsia tail swayed in the current, fins splayed out in drifting wefts. Her hypnotic gaze made time slow to a stop.“You poor thing...” she cooed, the gentle sound washing over him with a strange calming vibration. She came to a stop when she was directly in front of him, her hair fanning out in all directions like a shroud. The siren's soft hands cupped his face and she leaned in closer, leaving Sollux in so much awe that he almost forgot he was drowning. “Don't worry, I'll make it all better...”Her mouth met his. She came at him like the tide rushing towards the beach, ebbing and flowing against him, and when she parted Sollux's lips with her tongue, his lungs suddenly filled with the astonishing relief of air. She pushed it into his lungs with her own and then lingered a moment longer before parting, eyes half-lidded and a smile so warm that it could have been the sun itself. Sollux could only stare, completely bewitched by it all. Okay, maybe this wasn't the worst way to die...“Better?” she asked.Sollux nodded dumbly. Her grin widened and a spark of something lit up in her expressive eyes like flint against steel. Her body pressed against his, bare breasts squishing enticingly against his chest, and she opened her mouth to say something else...She never got the chance, though, before a weighted net suddenly fell from above and scooped them both up.That soothing voice became a surprised shriek. Her tail smacked against him a few times as she thrashed against the net, knocking the fresh air she'd just given him out of his lungs and making him choke on water. The anchor began to lift, taking the captured siren with it, and the man violently coughed up the seawater he breathed the moment his head broke the surface. Her melodic tones turned into harsh screeches when the siren left the water, and it was joined by the anguished cries of many other sirens who were clinging to the net trying to pull them back down. It took the strength of nearly the entire human crew to hoist the anchor on board, forcing the others to fall one by one back into the sea. The captured siren flopped onto the deck with a heavy wet thud, letting out a chilling scream.Everyone immediately backed up and kept their distance from her. The creature might have been out of her element, but she was still far from helpless. They let her tire herself out with struggling, which only tangled her up in the net even more, before Captain Ampora bravely stepped forward. He dropped to one knee to gaze upon his enchanting catch that glared coldly back at him.“I did it, at last I've caught one!” he exclaimed with a breathless laugh. The siren growled like a feral beast, her innocent face contorted in rage. “Please calm down, my dear, I just want a good look at you. By the gods...you're so much more beautiful than I ever imagined.”“Release me!” she demanded with a shrill hiss. Her voice lost its melody when she wasn't in the water. “I am the heir of the Peixes clan, you fool! My mother will bring destruction to any who harm me!”“Royalty, eh?” His eyebrows rose with interest. “My, my, what luck! Now I really can't let you go. But don't worry, I'm not gonna hurt you,” the captain promised solemnly with a hand over his heart. “I'll make sure to keep you safe and sound until my very last dying breath, love.”The siren snapped her jaws at him, which were lined with sharp teeth that Sollux somehow hadn't noticed while she'd been charming him. The captain chuckled and stood up, barking orders at his crew to go retrieve her tank from his quarters and set sail. The sirens in the water were restless in their furious pursuit, but he was confident his ship was fast enough to lose them.Several men carried out a large glass box about the size and shape of a coffin and started filling it with buckets of seawater while others attempted to safely remove the siren from the net. She didn't make it easy for them, though. One man got a little too close and fell back with a pained scream when his little finger was bitten clean off by the very same mouth that had kissed Sollux only minutes ago. A thick strap of leather from someone's boot was forced between her bloodied teeth after that, and her hands were bound tightly with rope behind her back. The siren had to be manhandled by seven people just to haul her into the tank, and she pounded against the glass with her tail and shoulders as the lid was tightly sealed and locked.Sollux didn't get to see much more after that. He was untied from the anchor and could barely walk straight as he was forced below deck to the brig. The two other remaining members of the Golden Bee's crew cheered when he came back in one piece, because it meant they'd all be spared from the same horrible fate as their former mates. Sollux was happy to be alive, of course, but he didn't celebrate just yet. They escaped being turned into siren chow, but now he had even less of an idea of what their ultimate fate was to be. He also wondered what the captain planned to do with that siren. The seas had turned rough not long after leaving Condescension Cove. The ship rocked in the biting wind as waves rolled relentlessly under it, and several days of this proved to be too much for several men's stomachs. Anything not tied down tumbled over the floorboards, and strung up belongings swayed in the air, only adding to the unnerving movement all around them. Enough men had fallen ill that the prisoners were forced to be put to work again, and Sollux was unfortunate enough to get saddled with kitchen duty. The smell of food on a queasy stomach was not doing him any favors. Even worse than that, though, was that his job involved delivering the captain's meals to his luxurious quarters, and Ampora took obvious delight in seeing Sollux's dour face as he set the bolted down table.While he was there, he couldn't help but sneak a curious glance towards the glass tank holding the captain's prized possession, and within those transparent walls, the siren lay curled up in her own tail. The bottom of the container was always littered with little round pearls, which dropped from the corners of her eyes as she hummed songs softly to herself, hauntingly slow and dripping with melancholy.Captain Eridan either didn't notice her grief or he didn't care. He was too busy collecting the pearls and gloating to anyone about his achievement within earshot. The crew was in high spirits, too, after seeing how much wealth the creature was already bringing them with her tears alone. Imagine what her hair would sell for, or her scales! Captain Ampora was very adamant about not ruining too much of her, though. Her beauty was a priceless commodity in itself, one that he planned to keep all to himself.Sollux wasn't sure if everyone around him was mad or if he was, but he couldn't help but feel his heart breaking whenever he saw the poor thing. She was a monster of legend, a ferocious man-eater, and he'd seen the horror her kind was capable of with his own eyes. He'd almost been torn apart by them, himself! And yet...did she really deserve this? Maybe he wouldn't feel so bad if it'd been one of the other sirens that were licking their chops at him, but this one hadn't threatened or attacked him once. He remembered what her sisters had said, that she didn't eat her prey like they did. He didn't know what they'd meant by 'playing' with him, so he couldn't say whether it was much better, but she did give him air and kept him from drowning. That's more than anyone else had ever done for him...One particularly stormy night, Sollux arrived at the captain's quarters to retrieve the empty dishes and silverware from dinner to find that the captain was passed-out drunk. He slept slumped over the table that was littered with rum bottles, and he must have been completely out of it if the clattering from them rolling around didn't stir him, nor his snoring, which could have put a damn whale to shame. Jesus christ, could this man get any more obnoxious?Sollux wrinkled his nose at the sour smell of booze and cigars and got to work cleaning, grateful that for once he didn't have to put up with Ampora trying to get a rise out of him. The captain was probably looking for a good reason to shoot him. Though, he already had one after Sollux spit in his face and told him to go fuck himself, so perhaps it was entertainment to knock Sollux around while he couldn't fight back. He'd love to take the dinner knife in his hand and drive it through the bastard's neck, but he knew if he did that, he was as good as dead the moment the rest of Ampora's loyal crew found out. It's not like there was anywhere to run on a boat.Sollux let a sigh out through his nose as he set the utensil on the stack in his arms, and his eyes drifted to the tank across the room. The siren was awake, though she looked half asleep, laying on her side and idly tracing shapes on the glass with a slender finger. She met his gaze when he looked at her, and Sollux had a hard time prying his attention away. Even without meaning to be, sirens truly were hypnotic creatures. It wasn't hard to see why a man would throw himself into the sea if one asked him to. She certainly had Captain Ampora under her spell, to her own detriment.The siren's eyes stayed on him as Sollux quietly did his job, and the feeling of being watched was excruciating. It was hard enough that he had a beautiful woman's attention on him, which was not a common occurrence in his sad life, but the fact that she was unashamedly naked while doing so wasn't helping. He didn't think he'd ever get used to that.“You're like me,” came a silky musical voice wafting through the room, and it sent an involuntary shiver down the man's spine. It was the first time he'd heard her speak since she'd been captured, and it was like his ears had been craving it this whole time. “You're trapped here, too.”“Aye,” Sollux confirmed. “Captain shit-dick here sunk my ship.”He realized too late that maybe he shouldn't speak so vulgar to a lady, even a monstrous one, but she didn't seem to take offense. Instead she smiled, and as small and fleeting as it was, it was still enough to make his knees weak. “And yet you serve him?”“I've got no choice. I'll be killed if I don't.”“Hmmm...” He wouldn't expect her to have much more to say, but to his surprise, she asked another question.“What's your name?”He blinked, giving a moment of hesitation before replying, “...Sollux. Sollux Captor.”“Do you fear me, Sollux Captor?”“Aye.”“Why?”That should be obvious. There was something about her tone that make him think she was testing him. “The more beautiful something is, the more trouble it brings,” he shrugged, “and you're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen, so you can bet I'm fucking terrified.” That earned him a giggle this time. Her tinkling laughter could practically be felt through the air, and he wondered if that meant he passed.“Yet, you don't look at me the way the others do...”“How so?” He was pretty sure he ogled her just as much as anyone else did. He was only a man, after all.The siren let her head rest on her arm, and her unwavering attention on him was probably the only steady thing on this ship. “You look sad.”“Well...” Sollux cleared his throat, unsure what to make of the interest she had in him. “I mean, it's kind of my fault you're here, so...yeah.”She blinked, and her expression changed to surprise. “You didn't strap yourself to that anchor, nor did you throw the net. Why would you blame yourself?” Sollux could do nothing but shrug. He knew it didn't make much sense, but he couldn't help it. The siren pressed on. “Why do you care?”“...I don't know.” He really didn't. She was a monster, yet seeing her treated like this was painful. He really must have been under her spell. “I just do.” The siren stared at him, as if expecting him to say more, but he had nothing else to add.The slumbering captain let out a particularly gross snore just then and reminded the man of his task. He finished piling the dishes onto his tray, but as he was picking it up, he nearly dropped them all thanks to a sharp roll of the ship.“Shit, when the hell is this blasted storm gonna end?” he mumbled irritably.“When I'm returned to my mother,” the siren sighed, rolling over to lay on her back, her tail twisting in the confined space. “She's very angry.”“Does your mother control the seas?”“She is the sea.”“Ah.” It was time to take his leave, but he felt odd leaving the woman behind like this. There was something hanging in the air waiting to be said, but he wasn't sure what. “What's your name?”“Feferi,” she answered.What a lovely name. It somehow matched her laugh. “You said before that you're an heir. Does that mean you're some kind of princess?”“I suppose.” She sent a sideways smirk at him. “Are you my chivalrous knight?”Sollux gave her a little smirk right back. He knew he was flirting with death, but after everything he'd been through, he couldn't bring himself to give a shit anymore. He was going to die anyway, so he might as well live a little first. “Sure, just let me polish my armor.”Feferi laughed again. He could get used to that sound. The seas continued to toss the ship around for many more days. Sollux hadn't taken Feferi too seriously when she said her mother was the sea and that it was angry about her capture, but as the storm seemed to follow them and get worse by the day, he was starting to think that maybe it wasn't that crazy after all. Rain relentlessly poured down from above and large waves swept across the deck at times, even knocking a man overboard who nearly didn't make it back alive, but Captain Ampora was undeterred. He was hellbent on getting his prize back to land, though it was taking longer than he'd like, what with the winds knocking them off course. As much as Sollux loved seeing the man so frustrated, he wanted off the ship just as much as everyone else did. Though...the closer they came to land, the closer Feferi came to her doom.He managed to sneak in a couple more fleeting conversations with the mysterious siren behind the captain's back. She seemed to light up whenever she saw him enter the room and Sollux wasn't sure exactly what he'd done to earn the little secret smiles she sent him when Captain Ampora wasn't looking. His stomach fluttered something fierce every time she did, and the little action made serving Ampora almost tolerable. Almost.However, the captain was starting to catch on to Feferi's change in demeanor whenever Sollux was around. That might be why Sollux was getting worked twice as hard as usual. He'd barely have a couple hours to eat a meager ration and sleep in his cold cell before being thrown back to work above deck, and it was all he could do to keep himself safe in the chaos, knowing that if a rogue wave swept him overboard, there would probably be no rescue attempt. He was just as likely to be pushed over the railing at this point by any of the crew members that treated him and the other slaves like dirt, so to boost his chances of survival, he tried to make himself more valuable to them by offering his navigational skills, which were sorely needed with the worsening weather keeping the sky away. He prayed for this torture to come to an end soon.Eventually it did, but not in the way he'd hoped.Sollux was below deck when an explosion of thunder shook the vessel. It was so loud it was deafening, and when Sollux's ears stopped ringing, he heard the clatter of heavy objects hitting the deck above his head and a symphony of frightful shouts. He emerged with several others from the hatch to see, to his horror, the ship no longer had a foremast. Pieces of smoking wood lay scattered all over the floor, severed ropes and shreds of sail flapped wildly in the wind, and the glow of fire had crew members scrambling to regain control of the ship. They'd all been so relieved when the skies took a break from their downpour, but now, dry skies were the very last thing they needed.Captain Ampora could be heard shouting orders and obscenities even all the way from the bow, and Sollux dived in to help, if only for his own sake. They all tried desperately to put the fire out and save the ship, but when the flames jumped to the mail sail and tore right through it, raining burning sparks and debris from above and igniting everything it touched, men gave up hope on winning the battle and rushed to get supplies onto the rowboats instead.The moment the reluctant order was given to abandon ship, Sollux broke away from the crowd and ran to the stern. The smoke burned his lungs as he maneuvered around fallen debris and panicking men, making a beeline for the captain's quarters. He burst through the large wooden doors in the midst of a coughing fit and rubbed his stinging eyes, looking up to see the one he'd come back for pounding on the glass with her fists.“Sollux! What's happening?!”“Shit's on fire,” he explained as he ran to her, knowing he didn't have much time before the flames reached this place. If he didn't get her out of here, she would be boiled alive like a lobster in that glass casket before the ship could sink. “I'm gonna get you outta there – fuck, where's the key?!” The lid was sealed shut with a thick metal lock. He started rummaging through nearby drawers, but Feferi stopped him.“The captain has it,” she said. “Don't worry about me, Sollux, just save yourself!”Sollux wanted to scream. Of course the fucking captain had it! He wasn't going to leave her, though, not when she was the only person that showed him even a shred of kindness on this godforsaken boat.“Turn around and cover your face,” he told her, picking up the nearest blunt object he could find. Hopefully a silver candlestick would be enough to break it. She realized what he was doing when he raised the metal stick above his head and quickly did as he said, cramming herself as far against the opposite wall as much as she could.Sollux's first strike barely fractured the thick glass. He grit his teeth and tried again, and after a few clumsy hits, a trickle of water started leaking from between the cracks. One more should do it. He ignored the way his hands throbbed at the abuse, ready to deliver the final blow, when a deafening bang from behind made Sollux gasp in searing pain and drop the candlestick.A bullet had torn into his left side. He fell backwards against the table, too stunned to cry out, and in the doorway stood Captain Ampora framed in silhouette by the raging inferno behind him like the devil himself, a smoking gun in his hand and a look of pure rage on his face.“Sollux?!” Feferi cried, unable to see anything past the thick spiderweb of cracks in the glass, but she knew something was terribly wrong when Ampora's boots stomped against the floor.“You get the bloody hell away from her,” the captain seethed, throwing the wounded man out of his way and onto the floor with a violent shove. “She's mine, and she's coming with me!”Sollux gripped the spot where thick blood gushed from his body and struggled against the pain to get back up. The first mate came in behind the captain and they took either side of the tank, and together, they lifted Feferi up to take her away. The siren within, however, was having none of it.“I belong to no man!!”The sheer force of her powerful voice knocked Sollux right back to the ground, and it was enough to shatter the rest of the damaged wall. Seawater and broken glass erupted from the tank and Feferi hit the floor with a heavy thud, and when she saw the sorry state Sollux was in, her pretty face contorted into something that didn't look at all human. She swiped at Ampora's feet with her long tail and tripped him, causing the tank to drop, and the first mate frightfully ran off as the siren threw herself at the shouting captain.Sollux couldn't see very much of what was happening with the remains of the tank in the way, but he could hear Ampora's blood curdling screams and Feferi's roars drowning out the cracking fire outside. Suddenly, with a final gurgled choke, the scuffle of flailing limbs ceased. The puddle of water on the floor turned dark red as a strange silence overcame the air, and Sollux dragged himself to his hands and knees to see what had happened. “F-Fef, are you alri-”The sight before him made Sollux's stomach heave. Feferi sat over Ampora's lifeless body, a look of terror frozen on his face, and a huge part of his neck simply missing. Feferi spat chunks of flesh and bone onto the floor before crawling her way towards Sollux, who was left stunned by the carnage, suddenly reminded of just how dangerous the man eating siren really was.Her touch was nothing but gentle for him, though, as she reached for Sollux and pulled the shaking man into her arms. “It's okay, shhh, it's okay,” she whispered into his ear. Her voice was hoarse in the air and she was sticky with gore, but somehow, she still managed to be soothing. “You're going to be okay, Sollux, I can fix you. We just need to get to the water...can you take us there?”Sollux didn't know if he could. He had a bullet in his side, he'd already lost a lot of blood, and he was still reeling from the gruesome scene in front of him. It helped that Ampora had rightfully deserved such an end, but it was still hard to look at, nonetheless. Sollux was in shock.“Sollux?” she asked, her fear and worry starting to leak into her voice when Sollux didn't answer, and it shook him out of his stupor. Even now, after what he'd seen, after what she'd done, he didn't want to hear her sound like that. She'd saved his life and shown him kindness, and even if she was lying about being able to help him, he still owed it to her to get her back to the water. He just needed to her smile again.The man wasn't sure where he found the strength, but he forced himself to his feet and picked the siren up under her arms, half-carrying and half-dragging her larger body out the doors and through the fire. It was pure adrenaline and sheer force of will that bit back the agonizing pain and the blazing heat. Feferi clung to him and kept repeating how much she believed he could do it, and though she was in a lot of pain, too, she never once gave up on him. Her encouragement drove his every step towards the edge, and when they finally reached it, gravity did the rest and they tumbled into the churning sea together.The water was so calm and quiet compared to the disaster above. The bone aching chill came as a small relief to his burned skin, but Sollux's body lacked any more strength to get him back to the surface. Luckily, Feferi had strength enough for the two of them, and Ampora's blood had thankfully been washed off her face when they surfaced, revealing the perfect beautiful smile that Sollux's soul longed to see.“You're amazing, Sollux!” she praised, like a child at Christmas. He tried to smile back, but he grimaced and coughed instead, unable to suck in enough air when he breathed to fill his lungs. The world spun in blurry circles and he knew he didn't have much longer, but at least he was able to see her happy one last time...“I can save you,” she quickly assured, her tone changing when she realized just how far gone he was, “but first you'll need to drown. Do you trust me?” Wait, drown? How the hell was that supposed to save him?! He looked at her with bleary confusion and she moved her hands to softly cup his face, though he was so numb that he could barely feel it. “Please, Sollux, do you trust me?”He shouldn't. She was a siren, a killer, and a monster, known far and wide for her sweet lies and deceptive charms. But when he looked into her eyes, he could see no hint of malice, no deception, only love, which sparkled like stars in an endless sky. Yes, he did trust her. It's not like he had a choice, anyway.Sollux nodded, and Feferi leaned in to press her lips to his. This time she took his breath away as they both sank below the waves. The water embraced them, tugging them down towards the darkness below, but Sollux wasn't scared. Feferi's lovely humming chased the cold and pain away as she held him close to her breast, and he closed his eyes, letting the soothing melody fill his mind and lull him into a peaceful sleep before his lungs had the chance to burn with seawater.Not the worst way to die...When Sollux slowly came to, he was aware of something heavy pressing on his chest. He pried his eyes open like they'd been cemented shut, but he saw nothing but a dull greenish blue above him, shimmering with far away light. It took him a few minutes of blankly staring at the featureless color before he opened his mouth to yawn, and a bubble tumbled out to race towards the sky. Oh...he was underwater.The realization didn't fill him with nearly as much panic as it should have. Sollux was laying on the bottom of the sea, but he felt oddly fine. Better than fine, actually. He felt oddly...youthful. Sollux was comfortable on the sand and breathing in water didn't hurt. The heavy thing on top of him was soft and warm.The man flexed his fingers and moved his hand, disturbing a blanket of thick black hair that was settled over him like a blanket. Feferi's hair. Feferi was the thing laying on him, with her arms wrapped around his torso and her head tucked under his chin. Sollux tried to move his legs, but that proved a little more difficult than he expected, because he no longer had any.Sollux moved to prop himself up on his elbows to look past Feferi's shoulders and found his bottom half was now a golden fish tail, which was currently wrapped up in Feferi's frillier fuchsia one. He gaped like the fish he now was as Feferi woke up, stirred by his shifting, and he muttered into the water: “...Holy shit.”His voice sounded different. It felt different, too, less in his throat and more in his chest, chiming in the water around them, like notes in a song.“Do you like it?” Feferi asked, her eyes showing excitement. Sollux looked at her dumbfounded, and the memories of what had happened slowly trickled back into his head. There was no trace of the bullet hole in his side or the burns on his skin. He was clear of all scars and blemishes, actually. Even the small birthmark on his hip that he'd had his entire life had been erased, replaced with new glowing skin.“I...” He was speechless. He wasn't sure where to stare, either at her or at his suddenly flawless body. Feferi giggled and gave his tail a squeeze with her own before sliding off and letting him fully look at himself. The scales glittered in the low light as he tried slowly moving it around. It felt so much different from having legs, and yet...natural.“I like it,” she informed him, running her fingers lightly along his smooth new scales. “Mother gave you a good one.”“What...how did this...”Her expression turned a little worried when Sollux frowned.“You've been reborn into an heir of the sea,” she explained. “I hope you don't mind...it was the only way I could save you.”Sollux took a deep breath of water and let it out, trying to wrap his head around this. He was no longer human. But he wasn't dead, so...that was good. He couldn't believe Feferi had saved him again.“Are you mad?” she asked, her voice growing small. Sollux quickly shook his head.“No! No, I'm grateful! It's just...it's a lot to take in.”Feferi nodded understandably. “I'm sure it is. I'm sorry it's so sudden, there are many things you can't do anymore...but there are so many more that you can! I'll be right here to teach you everything you need to know, so please don't worry! You're safe with me.” She beamed proudly at him. Sollux felt dizzy.“...Why?” was all he could get out.“Because I'm the heir of the Peixes, and some day I will become the sea, just like Mother. You couldn't be in safer hands!”Sollux put a pin in that cryptic answer to ask about later. “No, I mean...why me? All of this... I'm not...” He rubbed his face and tied to piece together his feelings into words. He'd been wondering this ever since the first time he got her to smile. “What the hell makes someone like you do this for a nobody like me?”Feferi answered without missing a beat. “For the same reason as you: I don't know.” Feferi's hand fell to his chest over his heart and her gaze followed. He could see through her lashes the contemplative look in her eyes, like ripples on a glassy pond. “I thought that strange, myself. I always liked caring for those in need, giving life to the unfortunate and coddling the weak. It made me feel so powerful, like how Mother is, to have something rely on me, to need me. But it always became apparent that what they needed wasn't truly me, it was merely what I could give. I grew bored. With you, though...”She looked back up, a small hopeful smile tugging on her lips. The look of adoration in her eyes nearly knocked the air – er, water – right out of his lungs.“With you, it's different. You cared, despite me not having anything more to give. I've had a lot of time to think about it, and...maybe that's all there needs to be? I care because I do, and because you do. Must it be anything more than that?”Sollux didn't know what to say. That didn't really answer his question, but he couldn't bring himself to argue. Not when his heart was swelling like a high tide. “I guess not,” he replied, and her smile grew ear to ear, becoming excited and playful and full of life, they way it was meant to be.“Come on, let's test out your new fins! I want to see you swim!”She pulled Sollux off the seafloor and he gladly followed. There would be time to figure everything out later, he supposed. For now, he enjoyed the feeling of gliding freely through the water, spinning in slow circles with Feferi as if they were dancing, brushing his tail against hers as she lead him around, and filling the sea with their laughter.Maybe that's all there really needed to be.
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If it weren't for Karkat, Gamzee's probably would have burned down his entire apartment complex by the end of October. He couldn't help but light up all of the jack-o-lanterns on his balcony, he put way too much love into carving them for the little motherfuckers to stay all dark and sad. The man was going through tealights like you wouldn't believe, but it was so worth it to see all those smiling faces flickering in the night. Karkat, bless his heart, knew how easy it was for Gamzee to forget about the little things, so his best friend made sure to text him every night to remind him to blow the candles out, for the love of god, or so help him he'd shove a tealight down Gamzee's throat and leave him on his porch to rot. What a good guy that Karkat was.Gamzee stepped out onto his little balcony through the sliding glass door and gave all of the gleeful glowing faces a big smile of his own before he wished them goodnight. One by one, he popped their tops off and blew a puff of air into their heads, and all was as it should be...until he came to the very last one, which was also his favorite (shhh don't tell the others) and noticed something very strange. His pumpkin carved up to look like a laughing clown was being occupied.At first he thought it was a big bug, but upon looking closer, he could see that it was actually a tiny person. A boy with caramel skin and green clothes that looked like they were made of leaves, curled up in a ball next to the candle. Pressed flat against his back were a pair of sparkly translucent bug wings, and Gamzee had to rub his eyes before he could believe what he was looking at.Was that a motherfucking fairy?!It took a full minute of staring at it while trying to remember just how many brownies he ate that night before he noticed that the little guy didn't look so good. His wings were trembling, and his sleeping face was twisted in a pained grimace. Brother must have been cold, seeing how he was laying so close to the flame. Gamzee didn't blame him, the autumn chill was starting to turn to frost these days, and the fairy wasn't even wearing any shoes. Poor thing.Instead of blowing out the candle, Gamzee instead grabbed the entire pumpkin and brought it inside, setting it down on his kitchen table so he could carefully extract his magical visitor. The fairy didn't wake up as Gamzee held him up to his face in his hand, fitting so perfectly in his palm, cold to the touch, and the man tried poking him a little, but there was no response. Shit, was he dead? Gamzee brought the fairy closer to his face, trying to see any sign of life, but it was just too tiny to tell. He cupped his hands and blew warm air on him, hoping that it would get the little guy to stir, and sure enough, it did. The fairy boy gave the smallest twitch, barely noticeable, but it was enough to prove that there was still hope.Gamzee wasn't sure what to do, but he knew he had to get the fairy's temperature up. He quickly grabbed a hand towel from his kitchen and placed it on the table to tuck the fairy inside of, then sat down and messaged his best friend over the phone for advice. TC: kArBrO i NeEd HeLpCG: I KNOW YOU'RE INEPT AT EVERYTHING FROM COOKING YOUR OWN FOOD TO TYING YOUR SHOES LACES, BUT DON'T FUCKING TELL ME YOU SOMEHOW FORGOT HOW TO BLOW OUT A CANDLE.TC: nO tHe CaNdLeS bE aLl Up AnD oUt NoWCG: GOODCG: THEN WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?TC: i FoUnD a FaIrY iN mY pUmPkInCG: …TC: hE gOt ToO cOlD oUtSiDe AnD aInT wAkIn Up, WhAt Do I dO??CG: YOU LAY OFF THE WEED, THAT'S WHAT YOU DO.CG: DID YOU BUY FROM THAT GUY UP THE ROAD FROM YOU AGAIN? YOU KNOW HIS SHIT IS BAD.TC: nO mAn I rEaLlY dId FiNd A fAiRyTC: hE's So TiNyTC: I cOuLd BrEaK hIm WiTh A mOtHeRfUcKiN sNeEzeCG: WELL THEN MY ADVICE IS TO CARRY TISSUES.TC: I'm WaRmInG hIm Up RiGhT nOwTC: iF hE wAkEs Up, sHoUlD i GiVe HiM sOmE fOoD? wHaT dO fAiRiEs EvEn EaTTC: yOu ThInK hE'd LiKe FaYgO?CG: OF COURSE HE'D LIKE FAYGO. ONLY MYTHICAL FREAKS OF NATURE LIKE YOU CAN DRINK THAT AWFUL SWILL.CG: I'M GOING TO ASSUME YOU ACTUALLY FOUND A DEAD RAT IN THAT SHITHOLE OF AN APARTMENT AND ARE CURRENTLY SO BLAZED OUT OF YOUR SKULL THAT YOU'RE TRYING TO NURSE IT BACK TO LIFE.TC: nO mAN hE's AlIvE, i SaW hIm MoVeCG: THEN PUT IT IN A BOX OR SOMETHING AND WAIT. THERE ISN'T REALLY ANYTHING YOU CAN DO FOR IT.CG: MAKE SURE IT HAS AIRHOLES.TC: oKaYTC: hOw BoUt A jArCG: YEAH, FINE, WHATEVER. IF IT SURVIVES THE NIGHT THEN I GUESS I'LL COME OVER TOMORROW TO HELP YOU GET RID OF IT.CG: WOW, JUST HOW I WANTED TO SPEND MY DAY OFF! RELOCATING DISGUSTING VERMIN.TC: tHaT's OkAy, He CaN pRoBaBlY jUsT fLy AwAy On HiS oWnCG: YOU'RE MORE THAN WELCOME TO TOSS IT OFF YOUR BALCONY AND SAVE ME THE TRIP. GOD KNOWS THERE'S PROBABLY TWENTY MORE WHERE THAT THING CAME FROM.TC: oKaY i'Ll LeT yOu kNoW wHaT uP aNd GoEs OnTC: GoNnA bE a MiRaClE uP iN hErE tOnIgHt I cAn FeEl ItTC: sEnD mE yOuR pRaYeRs, BrOtHeRCG: EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE, GAMZEE. EVERY DAY OF MY FUCKING LIFE. Gamzee was lucky he had one of those giant COSCO sized jars full of pub mix that was nearly empty. He poured the last of it in a bowl and then got to work setting it up for his new fairy friend, punching holes with a knife in the plastic lid and putting the towel in the bottom, adding a few pretzels and a little shot glass full of fresh water in there in case he woke up hungry. It was a pretty sweet set up once Gamzee was done, if he did say so himself. He'd love to wake up to see snacks practically the size of his entire body!There was nothing else to do but wait, so he sat back down and leaned his elbows on the table, watching diligently as the fairy's freckled face became more peaceful rather than pained. He was really cute, Gamzee couldn't help but think with a grin, like a little doll or a toy. His short brown hair was all messed up and his pointy ears twitched while he dreamed, and the man folded his arms to rest his chin in them as he took in the magical sight.Eventually, he also ended up falling asleep, and he was woken up a few hours later by the sound of frantic buzzing and tapping.Gamzee lifted his head and rubbed his sore neck from the awkward angle he'd been in, and when he opened his eyes, he was greeted by something smacking into the side of the pub mix container in front of him. That something was his fairy friend, who was very much awake now and fluttering all around the container! Seeing him with so much energy was a huge relief after finding the guy in such a sorry state last night, though he seemed kind of scared. The tapping was coming from him running into the plastic walls as he searched desperately for a way out. When he turned around to see Gamzee peering in at him, he opened his mouth to scream, but all that came out was a little jingle, like a softly ringing bell. Gamzee watched as he dove back to the towel and buried himself under it, hiding from the giant human outside.“Woah, easy, I ain't gonna hurt ya,” he assured, trying to keep his voice quiet. “You're alright, motherfucker, come on out so I can get my welcoming on.” The fairy chose not to. Gamzee rubbed his chin and tried to think of how to calm the other down. “Glad to see you're doing better now, anyway. You eat yet?” The pretzel and water offering were left untouched. “I can get you something else if you want.”The fairy took a moment to carefully peek through the cloth. His eyes were wide and amber colored, and more than a little terrified. Gamzee lowered himself to the table again in an attempt to make himself smaller.“You're fuckin' amazing, you know that? A little miracle in the flesh, right here in my own house. Thank the messiahs I found you when I did or who knows what could have happened! What's your name? I'm Gamzee. Gamzee Makara.” The fairy didn't answer, but he did come out from his blanket just a little bit. He kept his cautious gaze on the man, flinching at every movement he made. “Oh, do you even speak English?” To his relief, the fairy nodded. “Sick. Why ain't you talkin', then? Too shy?” The fairy shook his head, then opened his mouth to say something. All that came out were more bell sounds. “Ohhh, you're too small for me to hear you. Shit.”While Gamzee tried to think of a way to understand him, the fairy awkwardly stood up, trembling as he did so, but bravely facing his captor. He kept himself against the farthest wall, wings splayed out like he was ready to take flight, but his feet stayed planted on the ground. There wasn't anywhere for him to go.“Want me to let you out?” he asked, to which the fairy dropped his jaw in surprise. Gamzee figured that was a yes and reached out to start unscrewing the cap. “Okay, but promise you won't go too far, yeah?”The second the cap was removed, a buzzing blur of brown and green rocketed upwards, grazing Gamzee's nose as it passed. He jumped in surprise as the fairy flew in a few quick circles around the kitchen before making a beeline for the window. The fairy must not have realized it was closed, though, because he hit the glass with an audible thunk and fell to the counter below, landing in a chipped mug by the sink. Gamzee quickly ran over to see if the fairy was hurt, finding him upside-down and dazed from the blow.“Hey, hey! Settle down, little thing, you only just woke up! Are you okay?” He turned the mug over and dumped the tiny being into his hand. It tumbled out and tried to stand back up, but instead fell over against Gamzee's thumb. “I told you not to go too far, motherfucker, you went and got yourself hurt.” Was this what Karkat felt like? “Relaaax, I ain't holdin' you hostage. You can leave as soon as I know you're good to go. Though, it'd be great if you stayed long enough for me to properly meet ya. I never seen a fairy before, so this is fuckin' rad.”The fairy looked up at him, a confused expression on his face. He must have been expecting Gamzee to keep or kill him. Other people probably would have, but Gamzee was not like other people. He couldn't even think what use a trapped fairy would be to him, all locked up and lonesome, let alone a dead one. That's not a very good way to make friends.“Besides, it's still dark out there. You'll just get all cold again if you leave now. At least wait 'till the sun comes out, yeah?”The fairy looked at the window, and for a second Gamzee was afraid he was going to make another attempt to flee, but to his relief, the guy sighed and nodded. Gamzee smiled and sat back down at the table, letting his passenger step off his hand, and he wobbled backwards on his tiny bare feet as Gamzee leaned back down to be more at eye level, resting his chin on his folded hands.“Let's start over: I'm Gamzee, it's nice to meet you, fairy bro! You got a name?” The fairy nodded and jingled again. He started miming letters with big sweeps of his arms, and Gamzee concentrated on figuring out what they were. “T...A...V...Q?” No, the fairy shook his head and repeated the last one. Gamzee got it the second time. “Oh, R. O...S...” The fairy was done. Gamzee mentally put the letters together. “...Uh, Tavros?” The fairy smiled and nodded. It was a really nice smile. “Cool! Good to meet you, Tavros. Now, what the hell were you doin' out there so late without a coat? You're making me cold just lookin' at ya.”Tavros sheepishly rubbed his arm and shrugged. His cheeks turned pink with embarrassment, and that was also a really nice look on him.“Didja get lost?” A nod. “Aw, that sucks. Must've been desperate to hide in my pumpkin. You like it?”Tavros turned around to look at the pumpkin on the table, which grinned right back at him. He gave Gamzee a nod.“Heheh, thanks! You ever carved a pumpkin before, Tav?” Tavros shook his head. “I bet you could carve one into a house and live in it, huh?” The fairy stuck out his tongue and pinched his nose, waving a hand in front of his face. “Don't like the smell?” Another nod. “Fair enough. They rot too fast, anyway.”Their conversation meandered all over the place as Gamzee thought of random yes or no questions to ask and Tavros humored him with answers. He started to look more comfortable around Gamzee than before, and Gamzee was glad for that. He was liking Tavros more and more as the clock ticked down the remaining few hours until sunrise, and they ended up in the living room at some point to watch a movie. Tavros was less interested in the TV, though, and instead took the time to explore. He was really curious about pretty much everything, just like Gamzee was about him. It was a good way to pass the time.Sunrise did finally come around, though, much quicker than Gamzee would have liked, but as the rays of light began melting the frost outside, it was time to let Tavros go. He wouldn't let him leave without taking a few crumbs of food for the road, which Tavros accepted gratefully. Hopefully that would last him until he got home.Gamzee opened the sliding glass door to the balcony and returned his pumpkin to its proper place by the others. Tavros rode on his shoulder into the crisp morning air tinged pink from the blooming sky, but when he took flight, he didn't leave right away. He hovered in front of Gamzee's face and held out his itty bitty hand like he wanted to shake, and Gamzee held out his finger to meet it.“It was great having you over, Tavbro,” he said, unable to stop the yawn that crawled out of him. He couldn't remember the last time he was up early enough to see the sun rise. “If you ever find yourself in the area again, make sure you drop by and tell me how you're doin', 'kay?” Tavros nodded enthusiastically. It made Gamzee laugh. “Take care of yourself, little bro!”He watched as Tavros waved and flew off into the day. Gamzee sighed and fished out a cigarette from his pocket, leaning heavily on the railing in a strange mix of happiness and melancholy. He didn't know him long, but he already missed that little motherfucker.Just as he'd lit the end of his cancer stick, though, Gamzee's attention was grabbed by the sound of jingling bells. He looked up to see the fairy suddenly returning, and he didn't have time to ask why before Tavros flew right into his face, making him go cross-eyed, and grabbed his nose to plant a big little smooch on it. It lasted no more than a fleeting moment before the fairy turned tail and buzzed away at full speed, but Gamzee was able to glimpse the bright red glow on his face right before it was gone. It matched his own.Motherfuckin' miracles, brother.
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Eridan was 100% sure he had the summoning circle correct this time. Of course, he'd been 100% sure the last time, too, but he was even more 100% sure now that he'd found and fixed the one rune that was drawn slightly too large on the floor for Hell's liking. Satan sure was a stickler for accuracy, huh?The young man scanned the chalk drawing on his dorm room's hardwood floor with his eyes one last time for any more slight adjustments that needed to be made before he got this show on the road. In one hand he held the book he'd gotten from the goth chick in his history class who promised on her life that it was a real black magic spell book, and in the other, a ceremonial dagger made of obsidian glass. Between that, the fancy salts, crystals, activated redwood charcoal, and human bone powder, this whole thing cost him practically an arm and a leg, so it better fucking work, goddamnit! He could only cut himself so many times.With everything in place, Eridan sat down on the spot that was marked on the floor for him, and he placed the book in his lap so he could read the ceremonial chant by the low light of flickering candles. He took extra care to pronounce things perfectly, concentrating on that through the pain of sliding the blade of his knife over his own hand. It would all be worth it, he told himself. God, it better be worth it. Eridan reached the end of the chant just as blood was starting to pool in his palm, and when he tipped it over and the first drop hit the symbol on the pentagram's fifth point, he closed his eyes and held his breath, half expecting nothing to happen like in his other attempts.This time was different. There was a flash of red and blue light and a sudden burst of heat. Eridan's eyes popped open to see legs, which he followed up to the figure standing in the center of the summoning circle, looking back down at him with its arms crossed over its chest.Holy shit...it actually worked! Eridan really did summon a demon!And it was naked!“Who's the idiot that summoned me?” it spoke with narrowed eyes and a noticeable implacable accent. It sounded kind of like a lisp, actually.Eridan quickly stood up and cleared his throat, tossing his cape over his shoulder and adjusting his glasses. He had to make a good first impression on this creature from Hell, so the student went all out and wore the most badass things he had, including his Victorian silk vest, leather English-style riding boots, and every piece of ornate jewelry he owned. It was actually his get-up for his awesome swashbuckling character in his current bimonthly D&D campaign, but the demon didn't need to know that.Getting a better look at it, the demon's appearance wasn't exactly what Eridan had been expecting. It was clearly male and tall, but its body (that was on full display) was somewhat lanky and nonthreatening. What made up for it, though, were the sharp points of its teeth, long yellow claws for nails, ash gray skin, swishing spear-tipped tail, and a double set of horns on top of its head. Its eyes glowed in the dark, too, one red and one blue. It didn't seem very impressed as it looked Eridan over, who put his hands on his hips and projected as much authority as he could. This was a demon, yes, but Eridan was its master.“My name is Eridan Ampora,” he began with confidence, “and I am the one who summoned you here today. I wish to make a contract.”“Any and all debts will be paid with nothing less than your mortal soul. Do you accept?”Eridan knew this. It was in the book, but that had not deterred him. What he wanted was worth anything, including his own soul. “I accept.”The demon smirked. “Then make your request wisely, human. You only have one.”Finally, after so long, after so much pain and suffering, Eridan was going to get what he rightfully deserved! Nothing could stop him now, not even God himself! The young man planted his feet on the ground and looked the demon straight in the eyes, and without a hint of hesitation, he made his wish.“I order you to date me.”The room went still and silent. The demon looked at him, narrow eyes having widened at the completely unexpected answer, but Eridan stood his ground. “...What.”“You heard me. I order you to date me! And I don't mean a few friendly coffee dates, I want a committed long term romantic relationship.”“...Are you for real?” the demon's voice raised in pitch as it uncrossed its arms, disbelief all over its face. “You're fucking serious?”“As serious as a heart attack,” Eridan nodded solemnly. “Will you do it, demon? Or are you not from a high enough circle of hell to be able to handle me?”The demon burst into uncontrollable laughter, which took some of the wind out of Eridan's sails. He'd been expecting the demon to just do as he said, not be a dick about it. Still, he held fast, not wanting to show weakness, and tried to will away the embarrassed heat in his cheeks while the demon in front of him nearly pissed itself. “Oh my fuck – this is literally the stupidest shit I have ever heard! Hahahaha!” It wiped at the tears forming in the corners of its eyes as it tried to get a hold of itself. “How much of a loser do you have to be to summon a fucking demon just to get laid?!”“Wha – I'm not just trying to get laid!” Eridan retorted. “What is it about a committed relationship that you don't understand?” Actually, it was entirely possible that a demon wouldn't understand something like that, now that he thought about it. Still, these creatures were known for being deceitful buggers. Surely it would at least be able to fake it convincingly enough.“Let me get this straight: you're trading your mortal soul for a date, and you don't even care who it is? I could hook you up with literally anyone in the entire world, you know.”“I don't want anyone in the world, I want you,” Eridan stressed. “I want a demon boyfriend! Or girlfriend, I really don't care, just so long as they're not human.”The demon looked at him like he was an idiot. “Why?”“Because humans fuckin' suck!” the summoner waved his arms in the air as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “Every human being I've ever known in my entire life has been so goddamn insufferable! All they ever do is lead you on and stab you in the back! I've had enough!” Eridan stomped his foot, knocking over one of the large amethysts on the floor.“And you think a literal demon would be any better?”“Yes, because at least demons are upfront about it. Besides, if you're under contract, then that means you have to do whatever I say, and if you don't make me happy, then you won't get my soul.”The demon pondered this for a second, but was unable to think of an argument to Eridan's logic. He shrugged. “Touché.”Eridan smiled, his face lighting up when his genius was finally recognized. See? He wasn't crazy, this was a good idea! “So, do we have a deal?” He held out his hand, which was still bleeding a little, but the demon didn't seem to mind. It gave a crooked toothy grin, showing off all of its teeth in its amusement, and it took Eridan's hand in his own leathery feeling one with a vice-like grip.“Deal.”Before Eridan's eyes, the creature in front of him transformed. His lifeless gray skin flushed to a healthy peach, the coarse black hair on his head lightened to a warm brown, sharp teeth became flatter and human-like, (though could probably use some braces) and the horns and tail vanished in a quick puff of sulfur colored smoke. It appeared almost completely human now, and not a bad looking one at that, but the one thing that didn't change were its multicolored eyes, which were fixed on Eridan's face with a smug look of hunger.Eridan gasped as the demon-turned-man suddenly stepped forward, forcing Eridan to step back, and it didn't stop until the bewildered human's back met the wall behind him. The demon trapped him between its arms and leaned in so close that its icy breath fanned Eridan's wide-eyed face, chuckling darkly at the squeak that escaped from his throat when a knee insistently pushed between his legs.“My name is Sollux,” the demon said with a hiss, its tone low and dark, sending a shiver down Eridan's spine. “If I'm going to be your boyfriend, then we outta start getting to know each other~”Eridan gulped. He was starting to realize that he might not know exactly what he got himself into, but he did know one thing for sure: He had absolutely no regrets.
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Gamzee had been causing the zoo problems ever since he arrived.Naga weren't a common feature in most zoos – in fact, Gamzee was currently the only one of his kind in captivity, so the exhibit always drew in large crowds every time it opened for a few hours each week. Unlike the other animals, the naga couldn't be on display every day or the attention would cause him too much stress. It was a full time job for Gamzee's personal handler just to keep him calm and relaxed! The poor thing had been practically feral when he was relocated to the Skaia Wildlife Zoo and Sanctuary, so for the first few months, a lot of time and resources went into his rehabilitation, as well as the construction and maintenance of his giant indoor enclosure. Hardly anything was known about naga and their natural environments, so it was a lot of trial and error until they finally seemed to get it right. Right enough that Gamzee was comfortable enough to start eating again, anyway.It's not like anyone could blame Gamzee for his mood swings and erratic behavior, though. A lot of damage had been done to his body and mind after being locked up in a dingy cage alone for god knows how long. He'd been found along with many other neglected endangered species during a raid on an illegal animal trafficking ring, and the court case against the horrible people responsible was still ongoing due to the legal gray area of trying to distinguish if naga should be considered animals or people in the eyes of the law. Too little was known about the rare creatures for the scientific community to come to an agreement on the matter, but if you were to ask Tavros, he would say they were neither.Tavros knew he should feel honored to be a part of the team that was taking care of the giant serpent-man. The zookeeper had been hand picked for this assignment by Skaia's board of directors, thanks to his amazing track record with the other large species of the facility. He had a gift with animals ever since he was a child, and to be working here was an absolute dream come true! But...well...He wasn't keen on reptiles.It wasn't like he didn't like them, they were really cool creatures! But when it came to working with them, Tavros didn't feel like he had the same built-in instincts with cold bloods as he did with mammals. They were just so different! It was hard to tell from their behavior what they were thinking, and the uncertainty put him on edge whenever he was around one. Gamzee wasn't fully a reptile, of course, so Tavros had thought it wouldn't be the same as his slithering beady-eyed cousins when he took this assignment. He'd been proven wrong, though, when his first close encounter with the naga ended with being dragged screaming into its underground den, and it took three people just to pull him back out.Ever since then, Tavros made sure not to clean the enclosure while Gamzee was inside. Karkat kept telling him that it was an accident and he'd since trained the naga to be much better behaved, and it was true that Gamzee had mellowed out quite a bit now that he was growing accustomed to his newfound space and freedom, but until Tavros stopped having reoccurring nightmares, he was going to stay on the safe side of the glass for now....Except the 'safe side' was proving not to be all that safe anymore. They were considering changing the naga's name to Houdini, what with how many times he'd escaped in the past couple weeks.Nobody knew how the hell Gamzee was doing it, but one moment he was in his enclosure, and the next, he was found curled up in the corner of the staff bathroom, or wandering aimlessly through the avian wing, or digging through a trash can in the food court. The enclosure was inspected thoroughly and all of the locks were replaced and reinforced, but seemingly nothing could stop the break-outs. Not even the security cameras could catch him in the act! The zoo was just lucky none of them took place during public hours...yet.They all knew it was a matter of time before Gamzee caused a public safety incident, and then one day it finally happened. Tavros had just gotten out of a demonstration with the zoo's resident red pandas when his radio buzzed with the chief security officer's low voice.“We have a code 4-13.”Oh shit. Tavros felt the blood drain from his face, and he desperately tried to keep up a friendly smile as he casually excused himself from the group he was touring. The alarm hadn't sounded yet and guests were still going about their usual business, which was strange since in the event of a 4-13, the entire park was supposed to be evacuated. What the hell was happening?!The moment Tavros entered the staff only area of the giant research building in the center of the park, the deceptive calm of the show floor dissolved into pure chaos. Vriska, his manager, was barking out orders at other zookeepers, who were rushing to equip dart guns and extra ear pieces for their radios. She wanted to keep the hunt for the escaped naga covert in order to avoid a PR nightmare, but in doing so, she was putting the zoo's guests in danger!Tavros tried his best to reason with her on this, because a little bad press wasn't worth someone getting hurt, but he couldn't get a word in. The stubborn woman got fed up with his arguing and sent him away to retrieve some equipment from the nearby storage room, and he reluctantly followed her orders, knowing deep down that he was probably going to regret it. As he unlocked the hallway closet and began rummaging through bins, he was seriously considering pulling the fire alarm to force an evacuation on his way back.Just as he'd found what he was looking for, a strange sound grabbed his attention above his head. It sounded like...something moving? The ceiling groaned as something big and heavy slid slowly past him, and his brain didn't put it together until the metal vent leading to the ventilation duct suddenly burst open with loud bang. Tavros nearly jumped out of his skin when he saw the familiar hand that punched through it. Dark gray skin splotched with patches of white gave away exactly who it was, and the zookeeper stood there in stunned terror as the head and upper torso of the missing naga crawled its way out of the hole.Gamzee was facing in the opposite direction, so he hadn't noticed Tavros yet. There was nowhere to run and nowhere to hide in the tiny room that was packed wall to wall with shelves of miscellaneous equipment, none of which was any help in this terrifying situation, so all he could do was watch as the only door was blocked off by dozens of feet of purple, gray, and white snake piling onto the floor directly in front of him. Gamzee lost his balance once most of his tail was out, and the rest of him fell clumsily to the ground with a wheeze. Luckily his lower half was there to break his fall, but it still left the naga a bit dazed. He took up at least half of the entire room, and Tavros had himself crammed in the corner, desperately hoping that his heartbeat wasn't actually as loud as it sounded in his ears. Snake vision was largely movement based, right? If Tavros stayed perfectly still and quiet, then maybe Gamzee wouldn't notice him!His hope was dashed a moment later when the naga sat upright and they immediately made eye contact. It felt like time had slowed to a stop as Gamzee tilted his head at the human, who was sweating bullets as he waited to see what the creature would do. So far it didn't look like Gamzee was aggravated, he just seemed surprised and curious. He also seemed kind of lethargic, what with the half-lidded look on his face, but Tavros knew better than to let his guard down. Not after last time.The staring contest lasted an eternity before the naga made a move. Tavros flinched when Gamzee smiled, revealing the points of his sharp fangs, and his dotted tail came to life and slid over the concrete towards him. Every hair on Tavros' body stood on end when one brushed his foot, and he yelped when it quickly wrapped around his ankle and yanked him forward. The man fell face first into the twisting mass, which swallowed him up before he even had the chance to fight back. His arms and legs were captured by the strong grip of smooth scales squeezing and contracting all around him. He tried to scream, but his voice was quickly muffled by a cold hand covering his mouth.This is it. This is how Tavros died. He was going to be suffocated while his bones were crushed one by one, just like a boa in the documentaries! There was nobody here to save him this time, no Karkat with a spray bottle or Equius with a tranquilizer. His coworkers would find him as a broken lump being digested in the giant snake's belly-“Haaaaaaaahhhhhh~"Gamzee's large sigh was followed by every muscle in his long body suddenly going lax. The hand over Tavros' mouth lifted once the human stopped struggling in confusion of what was going on, and the naga's human-like upper half bent down to tuck his head right under Tavros' chin. At first he thought Gamzee was going to sink his giant teeth into his throat, but all he did was shove his nose into the hollow of Tavros' collar bone and lay down, arms sneaking around the human's shoulders and locking comfortably behind his neck. After that, the naga went completely still, and then promptly fell asleep....Uh...what?!Tavros was stunned. He lay there draped in the naga's tail, the heavy weight of it keeping him immobile but unharmed, and stared at the ceiling as he tried to make sense of this. Gamzee was...cuddling him? Wow, um...okay. Okay, this was a good thing. Certainly better than being constricted to death.Carefully, Tavros tried to see if there was any chance he could extract himself from the living knot he was tied up in. He tried pushing himself more upright, going slow and gritting his teeth, but he couldn't make it more than a few inches before the weight of the naga on top of him proved to be too much, and he fell back down to catch his breath. The movement caused the coils twisted around Tavros' body to momentarily tense up, telling Tavros that this probably wasn't going to work without waking the naga up, so he had to give up on that idea. Gamzee's curly dark hair tickled his jaw as he tried to think of something else, but Tavros was coming up short. He could shout for help, but the noise might make Gamzee angry. All he could really do was wait for someone to notice he was missing and pray they found him soon, before his captor woke up from his nap and decided to have a snack...How in god's name had Gamzee gotten into the building's air ducts, anyway? How did he even fit in the building's air ducts?! The creature was as long as a bus and bigger than the average human male. Was it possible for naga to squeeze into tiny spaces like an octopus or something? Or maybe Gamzee had the ability to ignore the laws of physics altogether. However he did it, this explained why he kept showing up in the weirdest places at random. Did they not give Gamzee enough stimulation in his enclosure? Perhaps he needed new toys.The minutes passed like molasses as he let his eyes observe the normally reclusive naga, since there wasn't much else to do, taking in a sight that not many people got to see. Gamzee spent a lot of time basking in the den beneath his heated rock or up in a tree, and he only ever came out for Karkat, who was in charge of feeding and training him. The handler was the first person Gamzee trusted after coming to the sanctuary, and the short grumpy man must have secretly been a saint for how patient he'd been to achieve that. Even when Gamzee was throwing a fit and hissing at everything that moved, Karkat was there to wait it out, and once the naga exhausted himself of his rage, he'd allow his handler to pat his head and wipe away his tears. It was like there was some kind of unspoken bond between the two of them, and it even went both ways, too. Gamzee couldn't speak or understand human language, but he could tell when Karkat was in a bad mood (well, a worse mood than usual) and would hook the end of his tail around the human's wrist as his little way of trying to cheer him up. Their strange friendship was very sweet, and it showed the potential Gamzee had to overcome the trauma from his past, all he needed was attention and time. The media certainly ate it up.Tavros was pretty sure Karkat had never gotten this close before, though. He had no idea what made the naga trust him enough to want to cuddle, even going so far as falling asleep, and he couldn't help but wonder if this was actually Gamzee's intention the first time he attacked Tavros, too. That wouldn't make any sense, though. It took months for Gamzee to allow Karkat to touch him, and the day Tavros had been attacked was the first time the two of them met. This was technically the second, and yet, here they were. Maybe Tavros' gift with animals did extend to reptiles after all...One of Gamzee's pointy ears twitched in his sleep, and so did the tip of his tail, which was located somewhere around the right side of his waist. He must have been dreaming. Tavros had to admit, for how scary the snake half of him was, the human half was surprisingly cute like this. If only snake cuddles were less clammy then maybe this wouldn't be so bad.Finally, Tavros heard footsteps approaching. There were voices, too, one of which he recognized as Vriska, and the other was Kanaya.“Seriously, where the fuck is he? I told him to get the shit, like, twenty minutes ago!”“Perhaps he got sidetracked in the confusion?”“Or maybe he got scared and ran off like the little wimp he is. I have no use for cowards at a time like this! If we don't find that damn snake soon, I'll-”The lock to the storage room clicked, the door opened, and the conversation trailed off as the two shocked women got a good look at what was tangled up inside. Tavros offered them a nervous smile, trying to show that he was okay before they could freak out, and kept his voice at a cautious whisper. “U-um...a little help, please?”“What the actual fuck, Gamzee?!” Karkat was shushed by the rest of the team, who crowded behind him in the hallway to watch what was happening in the storage room. The handler had just shown up on the scene and was standing in the doorway next to Equius, who stayed close with a tranquilizer gun in hand, and Karkat's loud exclamation thankfully didn't seem to wake the naga, but it did make him stir. Tavros could feel the rumble of Gamzee's sleepy groan on his chest. “Tavros,” Karkat shout-whispered, “What the hell is going on?”Tavros couldn't believe that everyone had shown up for this. He was embarrassed enough as it was! Did they really have to be here to stare at him while he was in such a compromising position? “I-I don't know, he came in through the vent and then he grabbed me, and, uh, he's been like this for half an hour now...”“Are you hurt?”Kanaya already asked him that a few dozen times and the answer remained the same. “No, though I think my arm might have fallen asleep, haha.” He was trying to stay as positive as possible. Not just for himself, but for everyone watching on the edge of their seats.“Somebody fill in the blind girl, what's going on?” Terezi whispered to the person next to her.“Gam is using Tav as a body pillow.”“Oh.”Karkat sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Fucking incredible. Alright, I'll get him off you and then I'll try to lead him back to his enclosure. Equius, if Gamzee starts acting up or tries to flee, hit him with a couple darts. Only shoot him if he's let go of Tavros, though. If it freaks him out, he could snap Tavros' spine.” Equius nodded, already sweating through his uniform. Tavros was way ahead of him. “Everyone stay calm and back off. I got this.”The team moved further down the hallway on Karkat's expert instructions and the handler came to crouch at Tavros and Gamzee's side, not a hint of fear in his expression or movements. It really helped to see his confidence at a time like this. If there was anyone on earth who could handle this situation, it was him.“Hey,” Karkat started, his normally callous voice dropping to an uncharacteristic calm. He put his hand out and brushed some of Gamzee's hair out of his face, revealing the white markings that looked almost like someone had dripped paint all over him. It was theorized that the splotches weren't natural markings but a genetic mutation, similar to the human condition of vitiligo, but the data was too lacking to say for sure. “Wake up, Gamzee. Time to go back home.”Gamzee shifted slightly and cracked open his eyes. Purple irises blearily blinked up at his friend, who tried to give his head a pat, but he shot his hand back when the naga suddenly sat upright and let out a hiss. The tail wrapped around Tavros began to constrict, not enough to hurt, but just enough to force some of the air out of his lungs, and the trapped human squeaked in rising terror. “S-stop!”“Jesus fuck, what's with you today?” Karkat said as he backed off, bewildered by the naga's strange grumpy behavior. Gamzee relaxed more when he was given space, to Tavros' relief, who took a deep breath and tried not to have a panic attack. He was hoping this would be easy! “Gamzee, come on, it's just me.” Karkat held out his hand palm up, and Gamzee's forked tongue flicked out from between his lips to smell the air. He seemed to calm down a little when he recognized Karkat's scent. “There, see? You know me. I'm not gonna hurt you, you big dumbass.”The naga bowed his head and allowed the handler to pet him now, though Karkat kept his movements very slow and his touch light. When his fingertips brushed the creature's skin, Karkat's eyes widened.“Holy shit, you're so cold! How long have you been out?”“Approximately forty minutes,” Equius answered for the naga from the doorway.“That's not enough time for his temperature to drop this much. No wonder he's so pissy.”“He must be using Tavros to get warm,” Vriska offered. “Way to finally make yourself useful, champ!”Tavros forced an awkward smile. The explanation made a lot of sense. Tavros did think it was weird how chilly Gamzee's skin was all the way from head to tail, but snakes weren't his area of expertise, so he thought that it might be normal. “So, uh, maybe if you give him something warmer, he'll let me go?”“It's worth a shot,” Karkat agreed. “Hey Nepeta, go get one of the heating pads from the cat nursery.”“On it!” It took Nepeta a few minutes, but she came back with one of the large electric blankets and plugged it into the nearest wall socket. It was still covered in tiger fur, but it should still do the trick. While they waited for it to warm up, Gamzee settled back down on his elbows and started playing with Tavros' short hair, a lazy grin on his face while his claws were careful not to scratch. The human tried his best not to move, even though it tickled.“Awww, he likes you, Tavros!”“Yeah, I guess he does...”“Do you think it's naga mating season?” Sollux snickered. “It would make sense why he's been trying to get out so much.”Tavros nearly choked. “D-don't even joke about that!” The others laughed while his face turned bright red from the teasing. Dear lord, he was never going to hear the end of this!“It's ready!” Nepeta chirped and brought the blanket over. Karkat took it from her and spread it out between his arms, close enough that even Tavros could feel the heat emitting from it, and Gamzee perked up with interest.“Alright, fun's over. Get over here, fuckass.”Everyone expected Gamzee to abandon his hostage at that point, and it looked like he wanted to, but the naga was still reluctant to give up his hold on the poor zookeeper. He looked from Karkat, to the blanket, then to Tavros, conflict written all over his face, and Tavros nodded towards the blanket, desperate to convince him to let go.It took a lot of coaxing to get him to start slowly unwinding. Tavros breathed a sigh of relief when he could move his legs again, and the naga went straight into Karkat's arms to happily curl up in the thick blanket. When Tavros carefully stepped around the pile of content snake and entered the hallway, everyone clapped and cheered. The crisis had been averted! Tavros felt like he needed a safety blanket, himself, after such a harrowing experience. The adrenaline slowly wore off as he watched Gamzee being carried back to his enclosure and he collapsed in the first chair that was offered to him.That was the craziest thing that had ever happened in his entire life! Soon after, they discovered the reason for Gamzee's multiple escape attempts. It turns out that the wiring for his basking rock was faulty and kept turning off and on at random times, prompting the cold blooded creature to seek a new source of heat. They never discovered exactly how Gamzee was getting out of his enclosure, which was still a bit worrying, but the breaches stopped as soon as the basking rock was fixed, so all returned to normal.Well, almost normal. Tavros was no longer as afraid of the naga as he'd been before. Gamzee could have killed him at any moment during the whole ordeal, but he'd been nice instead, and it was obvious that he hadn't meant any harm. Tavros would laugh when he approached the window and tried to get the zookeeper's attention whenever he came around. He even tried going into the enclosure again (with Karkat by his side, of course) and Gamzee did behave himself much better than the first time. He still wrapped his tail around one of Tavros' legs when he wasn't looking, though, and it was a battle to get it off, but it seemed he was only doing it for a laugh. What a silly snake.Overall, Tavros was more than happy about how this all turned out, even if his coworkers kept jokingly referring to him as Gamzee's boyfriend. The more people Gamzee opened up to, the better. It was likely he'd never be able to be released back into the wild thanks to his unfortunate time in captivity, but at least he was being kept happy and safe, and what they were learning from him would hopefully help the conservation efforts of the rest of his species. Tavros was glad to be a part of it all, and he looked forward to every time he got to see his new friend.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Kanaya never thought there would be a moment in her life where she would wear pants and be glad for doing so.She must have been quite the sight, she imagined. A lovely young woman alone in a dreary swamp, trudging through muddy marshlands, wading through tall grasses, and picking off bits of lichen from her hair that had gone impossibly frizzy in the humidity. This environment was a far cry from the elegant boutique where she could be found on most days. She knew she could be a little nutty sometimes, enough for the village folk to sometimes refer to her as 'Mad Maryam,' but this took the cake for the craziest thing she'd ever done, though it would soon take second place once she reached her destination. If it was even real, anyway.The seamstress didn't have very much to go on when it came to directions. All she had were little clues she could piece together from the many retellings of the same myth she and anyone else growing up in her quaint village had heard countless times while growing up. 'The Gorgon Witch' was a popular tale to tell to children in these parts, usually to convince them to come home before dark and to properly do their chores. However, with so many parents all across the village telling the same stories that had been passed down to them from their own parents, that meant there had to be at least a shred of truth to it all, right? And if there was a shred of truth, then there was a shred of hope. That's how Kanaya thought of it, anyway.Eventually, just as her hours of exhausting adventuring were beginning to sew doubt, Kanaya found what she'd been looking for buried deep in the labyrinth of green: a dot of red. As she drew close, she saw that it was a flower – a rose, to be specific – tucked between the crook of a split tree. Upon approaching it, she saw another dot of red growing nearby, and then another peeking out from behind a mossy boulder, and another, forming a trail. Kanaya was relieved as she followed it. Roses were always the first thing that characters encountered in the stories! The roses lead to the center of the swamp, in the center of the swamp was an island, and on that island was the fabled gorgon witch. She was so excited to find evidence that it wasn't until she saw the first statue that she was hit with a cold splash of reality.Kanaya was morbidly assured that she was in the right place when she discovered it half submerged in muck, frozen to the spot with its arms raised, one of which was broken at the elbow, and nearly every inch of its surface was draped in greenery. It must have been there awhile. Shortly after, another stone human figure came into view, this one in the process of being absorbed into a gnarled tree. Kanaya was able to brush some of the dirt and debris away to find a man's face contorted into an eternal soundless scream. It sent a shudder down her spine knowing that it had once been a living breathing person, and this was all that remained. This could also be her if she wasn't careful.The stories about encounters with the gorgon witch always ended in death. However, Kanaya was pretty sure that at least one person had to have escaped in order to tell the stories, and that was the whole reason why Kanaya had come all the way here. She was risking quite a lot on the off-chance that one particular detail she'd heard about the gorgon witch turned out to be true. It wasn't any more of a risk than if she didn't, though. She wouldn't be stupid enough to seek out a monster without a very good reason.Finally, after hours of sloshing around and fending off mosquitoes, Kanaya set foot on solid ground. The island was full of blooming rose bushes, and though the sight and smell of the many delicate flowers was wonderful and sweet, the sharp thorns surrounding them were much less inviting. The woman spent a moment fixing herself up as much as she could before bravely walking into the thicket, determined to find the mysterious owner of this garden. She wished she could have brought a change of clothes for a better first impression, but they would have gotten shredded in her trek through the overgrown path, anyway.The trees overhead crowded the sky with their twisting branches, blocking out much of the sky and shrouding the ground below in gloom. There were more frozen victims the further she went, all motionless shadows stuck in various poses of either defense or attack. Some were newer than others, most with weapons still in hand, but they all had the same look of terror permanently carved onto their faces from their last moment alive. After seeing so many horrified reactions, Kanaya was curiously dreading encountering the creature herself. It must have been a truly gruesome sight.All at once, the overgrowth split open into a clearing. The moment Kanaya entered, she was overcome by the strangest indescribable sensation, as if time itself here was stopped. The air was as still as the circular pond in the center, no sounds of birds or breeze, just silence. There was a little light here streaming in through the gap in the trees, but the glassy water below held no reflections. It was clouded and dark gray as if polluted with coal dust, but when Kanaya came forward and crouched to dip her fingers in, the droplets clinging to her skin came away perfectly clear.The disturbance she caused in the water made ripples fan out in every direction. That must have been what alerted the gorgon witch to her presence, because a female voice suddenly spoke loud and clear from directly behind her.“Have you come to slay, or enslave me, human?”Kanaya froze where she knelt by the water's edge, and it was by some miracle that she didn't immediately turn around in her surprise. She kept her eyes forward and swallowed the lump in her throat before giving her answer. “Neither.”“Then why have you come here?” the voice asked, leaking irritation. “Thrill seeking? Bragging rights? Or perhaps sheer stupidity?”“I came for help,” Kanaya said quickly. “I was told your eyes can do more than turn men into stone. You can see into the future, yes?”The gorgon witch let out a puff of air like a scoff. “No. I can see one's fortune, not their future.”“Close enough.” Kanaya slowly stood up, still keeping herself facing away from the monster lurking right behind her. “I am in need of advice.”“Advice.” the gorgon witch let out a short humorless laugh that made Kanaya flinch. “How do you expect me to give you anything if you were daft enough not to bring a weapon?”Kanaya did bring a dagger on her hip, but she doubted it would be of any use against the gorgon witch if the swords and bows of the her other victims had been so utterly ineffective. “I can make a deal with you.”A momentary pause hung in the air. Kanaya bit her lip, praying that the gorgon was considering her answer instead of winding up for an attack. Finally, the gorgon witch replied, and this time she sounded somewhat curious, though cautious. “...What kind of deal?”“Uh...well, I do not really know,” Kanaya said, attempting a small laugh to diffuse the tension. “I haven't the foggiest idea what I could give you in return. May I ask your price?”The gorgon hummed in disappointment. The sound of footsteps told Kanaya she was walking to the left, and Kanaya carefully turned her head to keep the circling monster out of sight. “There's nothing you could give me.”Kanaya's stomach sank. This wasn't going the way she had hoped. She didn't think she could believe the gorgon witch's answer, though, when she had clearly given it a moment of thought. That means there must have been something. “Is, um, there anything I could retrieve for you? A task to complete? Maybe a sum of money?” She didn't have much to her name right now, but depending on what the gorgon's advice was, money might not be a problem in her near future.“Does it look like I have any use for money?”“I am not sure, since I cannot look at you.”She regretted saying that the moment it left her mouth. Kanaya wasn't sure if the gorgon witch would appreciate her snark, but she couldn't help it when she was nervous. Too many years of having to cleverly deflect uncomfortable propositions made it a bad habit.“You can, actually,” the gorgon responded, uncaring. Kanaya furrowed her brow.“...But doesn't your gaze turn men into stone?”“You're no man, are you?”...Was it really that simple? Being a woman made her immune to the gorgon's deadly stone gaze? Or was this just a ruse to trick her into her demise? It could be either, but if it was the truth, then maybe doing this would be the show of trust the gorgon witch needed to take her request seriously.“Don't think this means you're safe, though,” she warned. “There are plenty of other ways that I can kill you. I'm not just a gorgon, after all. I'm also a witch.”Well, there was a good chance Kanaya wasn't getting out of this alive either way, so she might as well. Taking a deep breath, Kanaya closed her eyes and turned around, giving herself plenty of time to prepare for the ghastly sight that has killed so many men, but when she opened her eyes, she realized with a gasp that she hadn't been prepared at all.What stood before her was not a hulking nightmare beast, but a woman as radiant and alluring as the full moon on a cloudless night. She wore old tattered rags that hung from her body, but not even they could contain the diamond-like flawlessness or her skin and curves. What really blew Kanaya away, though, was the perfect symmetry of her face, thin eyebrows, high cheekbones, and full dark lips. She existed like a living painting, or a painted doll, which was terribly unfair for someone who lived in a swamp. The only thing that was actually monstrous about her was her hair, which framed her face in a writhing mass of white-scaled, pink-eyed snakes. Kanaya hardly noticed them, though, as she was too busy staring at those piercing violet eyes that shimmered with sunlit gold around the edges. It felt like she was looking at a goddess.“I said you could look, not stare,” the gorgon muttered, crossing her arms over her chest and lowering her brow in annoyance. Kanaya picked her jaw off the ground and put her hands up defensively.“S-sorry! It is just that you are so...so...”“Hideous? Grotesque? Revolting?” the gorgon filled in with a flat tone, like she'd heard it too many times. Kanaya shook her head.“Beautiful.”The gorgon's eyebrows shot up, and all of the snakes on her head twitched. Kanaya spoke her mind carelessly just then, but it was the truth. She'd never seen someone so beautiful in all her life! The gorgon witch only got more beautiful by the minute as a warm flush lit up her cheeks before she could pointedly turn her head away with an irritated grunt. “Flattery will get you nowhere, human. You must be really desperate.”“I am.” Kanaya nodded, “but I speak no lie.”She was quiet as she glanced over Kanaya, studying her, and Kanaya was deeply aware of how awful she must look after her expedition, especially in the presence of such a divine creature. The gorgon uncrossed her arms, placing a slender hand on her hip, and narrowed her eyes. “What is it about your future that you would risk death to know, anyway?”Oh, right! Kanaya was so transfixed that she almost forgot why she was even here. “I am of age to marry,” she explained, “and I have a suitor who is asking for my hand. He is very wealthy and offers my family a substantial dowry. I am a poor seamstress, so it's an incredible feat that I have caught his eye. I can't expect any other potential suitors to compete.”“But?”“...But I do not love him, nor do I think I ever could. He is much older than me, and if I marry him, I will have to give up the business I am so passionate about. He will not allow me to work when we are married and he wishes to bring me with him when he moves closer to his family, who live in another country. It won't be long before I'm too old to be a desirable bride, so I must make my decision now, but...” Kanaya sighed and looked to the ground. She had never admitted this out loud to anyone before in fear of the trouble it cause for herself and her family. “...but I fear I am not ready for marriage yet...or, rather, that I will never be ready. My interests are, um...not with men.”“Do you have to get married?” the gorgon asked without a hint of disgust to Kanaya's confession, to her surprise. It was odd she would pass over that detail, and even more so, that she would ask such a question. Of course Kanaya had to get married, all women did! “Forgive me, but it's been awhile since I was human, so I forget about a lot of the silly things they do.”“You were human once?”The gorgon nodded. “A very long time ago.”“How did you become a gorgon?” Kanaya couldn't help but ask. Perhaps it wasn't her place to pry, but she couldn't resist.The gorgon took a moment to contemplate whether she wanted to tell her story or not. Given the hesitation, it must have been very personal. “I caught the eye of a deity's husband,” she said simply. “For his wandering gaze, she cursed me so that nobody would ever want to look at me again.”“Oh dear...” Kanaya felt an ache of sympathy in her heart. Her own problems seemed minuscule in comparison. “That deity sure did a terrible job, didn't she?”Just when the pretty blush on the gorgon's face had receded, it came back in full force. “Sh-shut up! Don't make fun of me!”The snakes on the gorgon's head raised and made little hissing noises, and maybe the display was supposed to be threatening, but knowing it was out of embarrassment actually made it kind of cute. Kanaya had to put a hand over her mouth to cover her grin. “I swear to you, I am not!”“Then you're a fool.”To hear the gorgon say such mean things about herself was heartbreaking. Kanaya thought she'd be finding a monster at the center of this swamp, but it turns out the scary gorgon witch was nothing more than a woman forced to live a sad lonely existence through no fault of her own. The stories about her did not paint her in a very good light, and they always involved so-called heroes attempting to slay the beast and save the day. Judging by how many armed men were decorating the garden with their stone corpses, that part was true.What the story left out, however, was how hard it had been to find the gorgon witch so far out in the wilderness where she wasn't hurting anyone. One would need to go out of their way just to find her, and according to what she'd said earlier, they were only ever here to kill or use her. All of this, and why? For being too beautiful? For being deemed too ugly? Could a woman ever win?“Anyways, if you have nothing to offer then we have no deal,” the gorgon changed the topic. “Usually people don't leave this place alive, but I'm feeling generous today, so consider yourself lucky. You should go before I change my mind.” The gorgon turned around and started to walk away. Kanaya wasn't about to give up yet, though!“Wait! What if I – ah! What if I make you a new dress? Yours seems to be well past its prime.”“It doesn't matter. It's not like I have anyone to impress.”“It does not need to impress anyone, only you.”The gorgon shrugged, not bothering to turn around as she circled the pond. “Then what's the point? Besides, a simple dress is hardly equal payment for reading your fortune. It's not an easy spell for me to do.”Kanaya squeezed her hands into fists at her sides, wracking her brain for anything else she could think of that would be worth something to the gorgon. The only thing the other really seemed to need was confidence. “What if I can convince you of how beautiful you really are?” Kanaya blurted out. “Would you grant my wish then?”The gorgon stopped in her tracks and turned her head to give Kanaya a skeptical sideways look. “And how, pray tell, do you expect to do that?”“I shall make you a dress that you will look so wonderful in that you could not deny it any longer.” The gorgon didn't seem convinced. Kanaya was undeterred, though, and stepped forward in earnest. “Allow me one week. If I succeed, you will tell me my fortune.”“Hm... Very well.” The gorgon faced Kanaya again. There was a dark smirk on her lips that had the human's stomach flipping. “If you dare to return in one week, then I'll give you one chance to make me beautiful. However, if you fail,” she reached for the bramble walls surrounding the pond and delicately plucked a flower with her fingertips, deftly avoiding the thorns, “then I'll make you part of my garden, just like all of the others.” The flower was flicked carelessly into the water, and the moment it touched the surface, the red petals wilted to brown and it sunk. “One way or another.” Kanaya gulped. Those were some high stakes. But then, so was the alternative. She feared a fate worse than death if she made the wrong choice: a wasted life. “Do we have a deal?”Kanaya straightened her back and nodded. “Yes. I accept.”“Then you better go get started, uh...?”“Maryam,” she supplied, and she did a curtsy out of habit, even though she wasn't currently wearing a skirt. “Kanaya Maryam.”“Maryam,” the gorgon repeated. Her light breathy tone sent a shiver down Kanaya's spine. “You may call me Rose. I wish you luck, Kanaya. You're going to need it.” Kanaya got to work on her new project as soon as she got home. She spent all night drawing up designs for the perfect idea that would convince Rose that she was beautiful, but to her growing frustration, nothing she came up with seemed like it would do the trick. The seamstress was starting to realize that perhaps she had bitten off more than she could chew with this difficult and dangerous client. If the dress didn't turn out good enough by the end of the week, then she could always not go back to the swamp, but too much was riding on this for her to consider that an option. Not just for herself, but for Rose. To think a woman like that was living every day thinking so ill of herself...it was a tragic injustice that Kanaya swore as a woman of fashion to correct.She was halfway done drafting the pattern pieces for the design she'd settled on when she came to an epiphany. The dress itself was fine, the dark colors would contrast with her skin tone and the added hood would cover the serpent hair she was so ashamed of, but would it do as Kanaya had promised? No. All of her designs so far were themed around hiding the parts of Rose that made her so unique. All the layers of fabric, the attempts to conceal and camouflage in a feeble attempt to make her presentable by the standards of society, it would do nothing more than reinforce everything Rose felt about herself!If her beauty was to be properly shown, then she needed a dress that did the exact opposite. She needed something which exposed Rose's distinctive features and celebrated them, expressed what she really was, and made her proudly stand out against the dreary gloom surrounding her. A dress was no more than a tool, after all, one which a woman wielded like a sword, perfectly crafted to her own arm. Never the source of her power, but the key to its delivery.Kanaya threw out everything she'd done so far and started over from scratch. This time she allowed her imagination to wander wild and free, ignoring every rule of modesty and functionality in favor of a bold design which reflected what Kanaya had felt in her heart when meeting Rose. What ended up pinned to her dress form looked like something fit for a goddess, and she slaved tirelessly on every detail, every angle, and every stitch. Maybe it wouldn't be the most serviceable garment for day-to-day life in a swamp, but it wasn't meant to be. All it needed to do was make Rose see what Kanaya saw, and as the exhausted seamstress put on the finishing touches, she prayed that the risks she took would pay off. If not, then Kanaya would be doomed, and Rose may never get another chance to see the truth. It was a little easier getting back to the gorgon's garden the second time, now that she knew the way. Kanaya took extra care to step over and avoid obstacles, protectively holding the bundle wrapped in paper as she carried it to its destination, and it miraculously remained unsullied by the time she reached the island in the middle of the swamp. All she had to do now was get it past the thorns crowding the sides of the narrow path, and she held it to her chest to keep it safe, not caring if they snagged her own clothes and scraped her arms. She worked too hard on this dress to let it get ruined now! Kanaya was relieved to finally make it to the familiar clearing, and when she arrived, Rose was standing on the opposite side of the pond. She looked up at Kanaya in surprise.“I didn't expect you to actually come back!”Kanaya smiled, once again blown away by the lovely gorgon, perhaps even more than the first time. “I am a woman of my word,” she said and held up the wrapped bundle. “Are you ready?”Rose hesitently came forward and allowed Kanaya to help dress her. It was nerve-wracking tying the corset up in the back, draping the loose sash around Rose's waist, tugging on the bottom of the snug skirt to smooth it out over her hips, and fanning it out just below the knee. Kanaya took a huge risk creating such a figure hugging ensemble, putting a lot of faith in the measurements she'd taken that it would fit just as snugly as a second layer of skin, but she could think of no better method to show off Rose's beautiful curves than to let them speak for themselves. It was thin, it was sultry, and to her relief, it wrapped every inch of her perfectly. With the long flowing sleeves unfurled to hang at Rose's elbows, all that was left was the final touch.“May I...” Kanaya started, though she was unsure exactly how to ask this. “Is it alright if I touch your...er, hair? They will not bite me, will they?”Rose peeked her eyes open for a moment to see what Kanaya was referring to. When she saw the golden headband hanging with strings of violet beads, she quirked an eyebrow. “I don't think so. Nobody else has ever touched them before, so I'm not entirely sure. Be gentle.”Kanaya nodded and took a deep breath in through her nose, preparing to touch the short crop of albino snakes writhing upon Rose's head. It was a bit unnerving, and she was sure that anyone else would have run off screaming at the sight, but they were just as much a part of Rose as any other, so they deserved to be given the same amount of love and respect. At least they were all so small that a bite wouldn't hurt more than a sharp pinch. Hopefully they weren't poisonous.The little serpents twisted and curled as Kanaya carefully placed the band upon Rose's head like a crown, and she lightly wrapped each of the drooping strings of beads around a few of the individual snakes, which flicked their tongues at her hand curiously as they slid over her fingers. It wasn't as bad as Kanaya had been expecting, actually. For some reason she'd been expecting them to be slimy, but the creatures were smooth and soft. They didn't seem bothered by her, so Kanaya gave one a little appreciative stroke on the head with her finger before stepping back to see once and for all if her hard work had paid off. It very much did.Kanaya was practically breathless as her eyes trailed over the fiery orange dress, as bright as the sun against the backdrop of murky shadows and green. The intricate bead-work on the bodice drew the eye around the piece in curling lines of amber and gold, casting shimmering lights upon Rose's pale skin, lighting her up like rays of warm sunshine. Snakes embroidered into the sash circled the gorgon's waist, and their tails dipped into the pattern of flowers rising from glittering thorns, twisted in the hems by her feet and flowing sleeves, giving a hint of enticing danger. She was a flickering candle in the dark, just as Kanaya had envisioned, shining far too brightly for a place like this. Absolutely stunning.But would Rose think so?“Alright, I am done,” Kanaya said, unable to keep the nervous waver out of her voice. Rose took that to mean that Kanaya was worried she'd failed, and she opened her eyes with a frown, walking to the cloudy water's edge and waving a hand over it. The pond cleared in an instant, letting images reflect upon its surface, and she bent over to see her reflection. When she did, she went so rigid that for a moment Kanaya was worried that she turned herself into stone.Rose stared at the image in the pond, unable to fully comprehend what she was seeing. Her hand slowly came up to touch the bodice, trailing wary fingers over the beads, and her mouth opened to say something, but no words came out. Kanaya came to stand next to her, every second of silence driving her crazy with anticipation, until finally, Rose managed to get something past her own throat.“...Why?”Kanaya blinked, not sure what she meant, but not liking how small her voice had been. “Is there something wrong?”It took another painfully long minute for Rose to attempt to answer. She kept her eyes transfixed on her reflection, expression unreadable. “Why have you...why is it...” The gorgon's voice shrunk to a whisper. “What is this?”“W-well-” Kanaya was starting to panic, “-I wanted to capture the same feeling as the first time I laid eyes on you, you see, and, um, perhaps I got a little carried away, but this dress is a symbol of that moment, and I do hope you can forgive me if I have offended you somehow, that was never my intention! I just thought-”A drop fell from the gorgon's face and landed in the pool below, and the ripples marred and distorted the image on its surface. Kanaya's heart jumped to her throat in dread. “Is this truly how you see me?”Kanaya's first instinct was to say no, to make up an excuse that would stop Rose from crying and beg for a second chance, but she knew deep down that if Rose's reaction was this bad, then there was nothing she could do or say that would fix it. Kanaya had failed. All she could do now was hang her head in defeat and accept her fate. “...Yes. This is how I see you, even now at this very moment. I just-”She never got to finish what she was saying before her face was pulled down into a kiss.Kanaya was in shock the moment soft lips pressed against hers. She had to grab onto Rose's waist to steady herself, and when Rose finally pulled back, the seamstress was wide-eyed and flushed scarlet. Rose was also very pink again, but this time she held a smile as tears continued to roll down her cheeks.“I didn't think you would come back,” she admitted with a sniffle. “In fact, I thought you had been no more than a dream, a figment of my imagination, sent to torment me in my unending loneliness. I almost didn't want you to come back. I could tell just by looking at you that you're far too good for this place, and for me... I even tried to scare you away, and yet here you are, still saying such silly, stupid things, and I just...I... Nobody has ever done something like this for me. Especially not someone like you.”Kanaya was a little too stunned to make fully coherent thoughts. “...So does that mean it worked? Does the dress make you feel beautiful?”“No,” Rose said with a little laugh, and she pulled Kanaya back down with her hands cupping her cheeks, pressing their foreheads together. “You make me feel beautiful, Kanaya!”Kanaya was unable to hold herself back from everything blooming in her chest any longer. She held Rose so close that she bent the gorgon backwards, and they kissed once again, this time much longer and lovingly. Kanaya didn't even care that she was still muddy, gross, and wearing pants like a man. Rose didn't seem to mind, so they lost themselves in each other for awhile, feeling as if they were both finally where they were meant to be. Eventually they needed to catch their breath, but Rose's snakes picked up the slack, peppering Kanaya's brow in tiny tickling licks that made her giggle.“I guess I owe you your fortune,” Rose mentioned. Kanaya hummed, giving the offer a moment of thought before dismissing it with a shrug.“That is alright. I do not think I need it anymore.”Rose raised an eyebrow. “Are you sure? Isn't it what you wanted in the first place?”Kanaya shook her head. Perhaps that had been her goal at the start, but for the past week, she hardly thought at all about her future. The only thing she'd been thinking about was making this beautiful woman smile, which was a fine enough answer for her. “No. Not really.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
This was it. This was the place where it happened, Kankri was sure of it. Lake Beforus was exactly how he remembered, from the jagged outline of the rocky shore to the way the gentle wind fanned his face and tousled his hair. He'd run along this exact pier in his nightmares so many times that he could almost count the planks. The water below was crowded in blooming lily pads, just like the last time Kankri had stood here when he was still a normal able-bodied child.He didn't remember much about that day. The traumatic experience had been repressed by his adolescent mind, and not even rigorous therapy could piece together exactly what unfolded which lead to the loss of his hand. All he knew was that one moment he was completely fine, excited to go to the lake near his childhood home to show off his rock-skipping skills to his baby brother, and the next, he was waking up in the hospital as an amputee.Nobody had seen what happened. Kankri's father looked away for only a few minutes, heard a blood curdling scream, and found his eldest son struggling to swim back to shore in red-stained water. Karkat was the only real witness to the attack, but he was too young to understand, let alone describe, what he'd seen. All they could get out of the toddler was the word 'horse.' Clearly a horse wasn't responsible for that kind of carnage, though. The cut had been incredibly clean, as if by a razor sharp knife, prompting a huge investigation in their small town which shook it to its core. The very idea that there was a sicko capable of mutilating a child had the entire community fearful even to this day, as the culprit had never been caught.It took a whole decade and a half for Kankri to finally summon the courage to visit this place again. He didn't remember the incident, but there was something about the very sight of the lake that made his stomach churn and trigger a panic attack, so he spent the better part of his life avoiding it. Kankri knew he couldn't run forever, though. The older he got, the more nightmares about that pier he had, the more he burned to know who or what that blurry figure reaching out for him from the blood stained water really was.Or maybe it was nothing. His brain could be trying to fill in the gaps with whatever scenario made the most sense of a senseless situation. He wouldn't be surprised if what little he did remember weren't memories at all, just figments of his imagination gone wild over the years, though he could swear those dreams felt real...the water was so cold...Unable to stand not knowing if he could trust his own head or not, Kankri finally decided that enough was enough. He was going to get to the bottom of this once and for all! Kankri was the only one who could, after all, and maybe if he could recover some real memories, his nightmares would stop, or at least improve. Maybe he could even provide valuable clues that would help catch the culprit who was responsible. Or, at the very least, he could conquer his fear of Lake Beforus and visit his father at his childhood home again without having to take a double dose of anxiety meds first.It took several attempts, but eventually, Kankri managed to step onto the very pier that had become the very symbol of his mental torment. He came alone, which was probably not a wise idea, but this was an incredibly personal journey for him and he needed to be able to take his time. Nothing could distract him from what he was here to do. It was time to end this chapter of his life and finally m-“Greetings!”Kankri was jolted from his calming meditation by a cheerful voice directly in front of him. That was impossible, though, because he was at the very edge of the pier!“Hay, down here!”The ginger looked down to see, to his surprise, a face. It was a man around his age, maybe a year or two older, with eyes as deeply blue as the dark water he'd emerged from, bits of reeds stuck in his ponytail. The long black hair stuck to his strong bare shoulders like bleeding ink against tanned skin, and the stranger's friendly smile was toothy and oddly sharp. Kankri was too caught off guard by this person's sudden appearance to do more than stutter out a confused reply. “U-uh...hello?”“You look familiar. Have we met?”Kankri was pretty sure he would have remembered meeting someone like this before. His narrow face looked almost like it'd been chiseled from stone, like a statue one would find in a museum. “I don't think so, sorry.”“Hmmm...no, I definitely know you from somewhere,” the stranger pressed, pursing his lips and rubbing his chin as he looked Kankri up and down. Kankri refrained from lecturing him on his manners, for once not in the mood.“Did you go to Skaia High?” he tried. Maybe they went to the same high school?“Neigh,” the stranger shook his head with a light laugh, like the idea was ridiculous to him. “Have you been to this lake before?”“Not since I was very young.”“Huh. Oh well.” ...Who the heck was this person, and why were they swimming at this time of year? It was too early in the spring for a dip in the lake to be any kind of refreshing, yet he didn't seem bothered by the frigid temperature. It gave Kankri goosebumps just looking at him. “What are you doing?”Nosy, too. “I was trying to meditate,” he mumbled. “What are you doing?”“Greeting you,” the stranger answered, that smile easily slipping back on his face as he folded his arms on the pier in front of Kankri's crossed legs. Kankri scooted back a few inches with his good hand, keeping his prosthetic one concealed in his sweater's pocket. He wasn't ashamed of his disability, of course, but he was well aware of how easily it drew the eye and would really rather not have to answer any questions about it right now. This person was clearly making himself comfortable, as if he intended to stay awhile. “Greetings!”“...Yes, um, hello.” Kankri usually tried to stay a lot more approachable in normal circumstances, but this was a time and place where he'd much rather be alone. “Did you need anything?”The other tilted his head. “No, why?”Socially inept, too. Perhaps on the spectrum? As much as Kankri wanted to be accommodating to those who lacked natural communicative skills, he was in dire need of some privacy right now. “I'm sorry, but I'm a little busy.”“With what?”“Meditating. Which requires peace and little to no disturbances.”“Ah.” Finally, the other seemed to have gotten the message. “Okay, I'll leave you to it. It was good to meet you!”He raised his hand towards Kankri, who eyed it warily. It was the right hand, prompting him to offer his left. Except he didn't have one. It would be rude to refuse the handshake, though, so Kankri had no choice but to lift the prosthetic, praying that the other wouldn't ask.Kankri had no such luck, though. The stranger's eyes widened at the sight of the plastic appendage and was quick to grab it. He completely missed the hand, though, and latched onto Kankri's wrist with his clammy fingers, immediately lifting the sleeve of his sweater to gape at where skin met plastic. The nerve! “Wha – hey, stop that! You know it's very rude to touch someone without permission, much less shamelessly ogle their disability! That is a very insensitive ableist mentality and I highly recommend re-contextualizing your actions as a – wait, what are you doing?! Stop!”The velcro strap around Kankri's wrist was yanked off and his prosthetic hand slipped from his arm and bounced off the pier, landing in the water with a plop. Kankri was horrified to watch it disappear below the surface, then quickly turned to outrage at the one who caused it to fall. He was about to yell at him and push him away, but the stranger with a vice-like grip on his arm and an utterly ecstatic look on his face lifted his head and raised himself higher out of the water, leaning in uncomfortably close to Kankri's face.“It's you! Kankri! I knew I recognized you!” he laughed, “And your brother, Karkat, I remember him, too! You both used to play here when you were little!” Kankri was dumbfounded. Apparently he did know this guy somehow, but he was less concerned about that and more about the invasion of his personal space. “It's me, Horuss! Don't you remember me?”Kankri wanted to be properly angry at the loss of his property, but those thoughts left him as the air was suddenly robbed from his lungs at the sound of that name, and it triggered something deep in his mind, like a ringing bell in the dead of night.Horuss.Horuss
Horse.
A feeling of intense dread overcame Kankri just then. The hairs on his arms raised with goosebumps as flashes of memory exploded in his head, glimpses of sensations and sounds as real as his nightmares.Something round and smooth, a splash, a scream, a voice, the color blue, bright red, cold, pain, pain, paIN, PAIN-“Kankri?” The man, Horuss, tugged on his arm when Kankri's breath started coming quick and shallow. His smile faded with innocent concern. “Are you alright?”No. No, Kankri was not alright.“St-stay back!” Kankri demanded and yanked himself away from the man, struggling to get to his feet on shaky legs. The blinding fear gripping his chest was indescribable, so much more consuming than it ever had been before, and he desperately staved off hyperventilating until he could abscond as far from this place as possible. “Get away from me!”“Wait! Why are you running? What's wrong?” Horuss called after him, swimming along the side of the pier to chase him. The way he swiftly glided through the water, parting the lily pads in his wake, was completely unnatural.Kankri didn't say anything else. He sprinted across the pier to the beach, half convinced that this was yet another one of his reoccurring nightmares, and scrambled into his car the moment he reached it. That man didn't appear to leave the water and chase him all the way to the parking lot, thank goodness, so Kankri locked himself in to collapse in his seat and cradle his throbbing phantom limb as he gasped for air.He didn't know what just happened, but he knew two things for sure: Horuss had something to do with why his hand was gone, and he was never coming back to Lake Beforus ever again.Kankri went back to Lake Beforus a few days later.It turns out there was only one thing that scared him more than crippling childhood trauma: the price of a new prosthetic. They weren't cheap! Kankri was already paying off enough loans from college and he'd like to be debt-free sometime this century. That being said, it's not like returning to the lake was an easy feat. Karkat had to drive him there or Kankri would keep 'accidentally' missing the turn-off, which spoke leagues to how much Kankri didn't want to do this, seeing how he usually refused to let his brother drive him anywhere while he still only had a permit.Kankri spent the entire time trying to convince himself that everything would be fine, he wasn't alone this time and that man probably wouldn't be there so early in the morning. The colors of dawn were a minor distraction from the nerves that were making his foot tap like a jackhammer and pale fingers pry at the hem of his jacket.He didn't tell Karkat about Horuss. After eventually calming down from his episode, he didn't even know if Horuss had been real or not. It didn't seem real, the encounter was too surreal to be anything but his wild imagination at it again, making up new memories and filling in the holes of his perception with whatever outside influence it could salvage from. All he knew for sure was that something had triggered him there on the pier, and now his prosthetic hand was missing, not to mention his nightmares were worse than ever. Once Kankri retrieved his hand, he was planning to officially give up on his mission to uncover the truth. It wasn't worth all of the mental torment to find an answer, after all. Maybe those memories were being repressed for a good reason.“Alright, we're here,” Karkat said as he parked the car, his voice quieter than usual. For once he was actually being considerate towards his brother on this touchy subject and refrained from ragging on him for his irrational fear. Kankri really must have been a mess. The lake stretched out wide in front of the elder brother's eyes, like a giant looking down on an ant, and he took a deep steadying breath and readied himself to leave the car.The air was chilly and strangely still as they walked along the path towards the pier. It was so unassuming this way, surrounded by lily pads and reflecting the colorful sky on its calm surface. If Kankri weren't so terrified, then he would have thought it was a scene worthy of a calendar or cell phone background. He stopped in his tracks as the two approached the wooden posts that anchored the old structure to the shore, but Karkat kept going, turning around to throw a brief raised eyebrow.“Hurry up. You didn't drag me out of bed at 6:30am on a fucking Saturday just to stand there, did you?”Kankri shook his head and swallowed the lump in his throat. Carefully, he stepped onto the pier and watched the water around him for any sign of movement. He couldn't properly explain it, but there was an invisible itch in the back of his head, like the sense of being watched.“Okay, so where did you drop it?” Karkat asked, eyes narrowed at the water, searching for any sign of the plastic hand through the gloom.“Over there,” Kankri answered, pointing to the very end of the dock, and Karkat followed his finger only to groan.“Are you serious? You dropped it all the way out there?! Goddamit, Kankri, I thought it was just going to be in the shallows or something!”Kankri's throat was too tight to chastise his brother for his for his foul language. “This is why we brought the fishing line...”“Yeah, but it's gonna be ten times harder to hook it when we can't even see it. Ugh, hold on, I'm gonna see if I can find a big ass stick or something.”Karkat stomped his way back to shore and Kankri begrudgingly stayed put. He stood in the middle of the path and tried to do some of his meditation exercises while he waited, calming himself as best he could as he stood alone in the one place in the world he would rather not be. The silence was unnerving. It was so quiet that he could hear his own heart beating, which is why when he heard the soft sloshing of water behind him, he nearly jumped out of his skin.“Kankri!”Kankri's thumping heart jumped to his throat as he whirled around to find the same sharp-toothed smile from before crawling out of the water and onto the pier. It was the man from before, Horuss, and he was well over six feet tall as he stood up at his full height, bits of uprooted lily pad stuck to his shamelessly bare body. What had Kankri letting out a terrified scream was how the man's muscular legs were bent in all the wrong places, ending in a set of hooves.
Hooves.
This...this couldn't be happening. There was no way this was real. It was just a nightmare, Kankri told himself, and he willed himself to wake up with every fiber of his being. He didn't, though, and Horuss stepped forward, clacking loudly on the wooden deck.“Don't be scared, it's only me! I'm so glad you came back! I have something for you.”Horuss was holding something out to him in one of his hands, but Kankri was too busy running in the opposite direction to see what it was. It didn't take him long to reach the end of the pier, though, leaving him trapped between the deceptively calm water and the approaching creature. “No – no, don't come any closer!” Kankri pleaded. Every ascending clip-clop sent an arrow of panic through his chest, but Horuss completely ignored his distress with a perturbing smile.“But I need to give this to you! I've been keeping it safe for so long.” Horuss motioned to the thing he was holding. “Don't you want it back?”He was close enough now that Kankri could better see it, but for a moment he still wasn't sure what he was looking at. Was that his prosthetic? No...Kankri's prosthetic was much larger than that. This one was small, more like......Like a child's hand.“I always expected you to come back for it, but you never did. Do you know how hard it was for me to get it back? It was extremely harrowing, not to mention how tough it was to keep it in such good condition.” He turned it around, proudly showing the dismembered limb off, and Kankri's stomach churned. That was...that was his hand?! It looked exactly like it had the day he lost it, with no sign of rot or blood. “Lucky for you, my magic is exceptionally strong!” That was Kankri's hand. “Here, let me put it back on for you! ...Kankri?”The world was spinning as Kankri's mind reeled at the gruesome sight. A flood of sensations filled his head, making his lungs burn with the need for air. Or maybe that burning was coming from the swirling memories he was reliving, the desperate gasping, the pressure of cold water, the sounds of splashing and screaming, his screaming, blinding terror, teeth, pain, fading light...Kankri didn't know he was falling backwards until the chill of water consumed him. Even then, he could barely feel it as his overwhelmed consciousnesses slipped away, and the last thing he was aware of before he completely passed out were strong hands grabbing his body... For once, Kankri didn't dream. He was drawn from a void of empty darkness by the sound of voices talking far away...wait, no, they were actually nearby, and they were familiar. One was far more familiar than the other, and it didn't take long to recognize the rough tone as Karkat. It took longer to figure out that the other one was that man from the pier, and even longer still to understand what they were saying.“...othing? Not even me?”“Nope.”“Ah...that explains a lot, actually. I'm not surprised that you don't remember, since you were so young at the time, but I thought for sure Kankri would! No wonder he ran away.”“That, and you're a naked freak with horse legs.”“I told you, I'm a kelpie.”Kankri felt damp and heavy, like his body was made of lead, and it took considerable effort just to open his eyes. When he did, he saw the roof of his car above him, and he discovered he was in the passenger seat reclining back as far as it would go. The fan of his car's heater droned in the background as he looked around and found his brother sitting beside him in the driver's seat, turned around towards the one he was talking to, who was sitting in the backseat with Kankri's soaked jacket tastefully draped over his lap. Kankri coughed, his throat feeling like sandpaper, and the sound made the other two stop to look at him. Karkat bent over and tapped on his cheek.“Fucking finally! Hey, soggy dumbass, are you okay?”“Uh...I don't...know,” Kankri answered blearily. The scene in front of him was too surreal. “What's going on?”“You fainted,” came the quick reply from Horuss behind him, voice dripping with worry and blue eyes full of guilt. “It's all my fault, I'm so sorry, Kankri! I didn't mean to scare you, I just didn't know that you don't remember the day we met.”“Huh?”“Slow down, Seabiscuit. He's still coming to.”Kankri started to remember what happened right before he fainted. A sudden rush of adrenaline had him shooting upright in fresh panic. “K-Karkat, what on earth is he doing here?!”“Woah, easy!” Karkat grabbed his shoulders when Kankri swayed, a bought of dizziness hitting him from having gotten up too fast. “Calm down, everything is fine! Horuss is the one who dragged your ass out of the lake.”“He's the one who cut off my hand!” Kankri cried, pointing an accusing finger at the person – the thing sitting in his backseat. It took a second to realize why everyone had gone still and was staring at him now. The finger he was using, it was...It was on his left.Kankri sucked in a shuddering breath as he drew it back and gingerly inspected his left hand. This wasn't...it was...this had to be a mistake. He was dreaming again, there was no way this was real! But no, the more he flexed his fingers, felt the warmth of his skin, and traced the lines of his palm, the more he couldn't deny how incredibly real it felt.“Kankri,” Karkat said his name carefully, tone uncharacteristically gentle as he patted his bewildered brother's arm. “Listen to me, Kankri, breathe. In and out. It's okay, you're okay, and yes, this is real. That's actually your hand, apparently.”Kankri had no words. He didn't know what to say, or even what to think! There were no scars, no marks, it's as if he'd never lost it in the first place. But that's impossible, people don't just grow back their limbs! Especially after more then a decade!“Would you allow me to explain?” Horuss asked quietly. He was fidgeting nervously where he sat, hooves tapping against each other on the floor and lips drawn into a thin line. “I swear to you, it was all a terrible accident...”Kankri didn't think he had a choice. After all these years, after everything that happened, all of those nightmares, the episodes, and now this, he was going to go clinically insane if he didn't get some answers right flipping now. He nodded, and Horuss began to tell the story.“We met on the day you lost your hand. I saw you on the dock with your brother, and you were trying to show him how to skip stones. I thought it was magic! I really wanted to learn how to do it, too, so I approached you, and you agreed to teach me.”...
Something round and smooth.
...“You didn't seem to care about what I am. I mean, you were obviously curious and you asked a lot of questions, but you didn't run away or call me a monster.” A smile returned to Horuss' face, barely a twitch in the corner of his lips, but it was clear by the warm look on his face that that this memory meant more to him than he was letting on. “You let me play with you and your brother. We were competing to see who could skip stones the furthest, and I picked up the skill exceptionally fast. You were trying to beat my record when...”…
A splash.
…“Your rock accidentally hit another kelpie in the lake. Ah, um, that's what I am, by the way,” Horuss informed, gesturing to his legs. “The other kelpie was older than me, and he was much bigger and stronger, too. And angry. He grabbed you by the hand and tried to drown you.”…
A scream. Blinding terror. Fading light.
…“I tried to get him to let you go, but it was no use! Once a kelpie has you, it's impossible to get away.”…
A voice. The color blue.
“Don't worry, Kankri, I'll save you!”…“There's only one thing I could do: I had to take off your hand before you reached the bottom of the lake, or you would be lost forever.”…
Bright red, cold, pain.
…“...So you...you did it to save me,” Kankri whispered as the pieces finally began to fit together. He still didn't remember all of it, and there was no way to know for sure if what Horuss was saying was the truth, but for the first time, everything was beginning to make some sense.Horuss nodded, beaming at Kankri proudly. “Exactly! I was so scared when the humans took you away. I never knew for sure if you lived, but I never gave up hope, and here you are! I'm so glad you came back, I've been waiting all this time to return your hand to you!”The kelpie reached out and touched Kankri's left hand, cupping it in his own slightly larger ones, and gave it a small squeeze. Kankri just stared, still trying to digest all of this. It was unbelievable. The hand Horuss was holding out to him had been child sized, but it seemed to have grown to match the right one after Horuss...uh...re-attached it? He had no idea how that worked, but this was a mythical creature he was talking to, so anything seemed possible at this point. Magic, probably. He decided not to let himself go down that existential rabbit hole for now and just focus on how entirely grateful he was for how this all turned out, and he looked up at Horuss with tears in his eyes.“Thank you,” was all he could manage to get past the lump in his throat. “Thank you so much, Horuss, a-and I'm so sorry I was scared of you, I didn't realize...!”“Don't be,” Horuss shook his head with a light laugh. “Admittedly, I was being a bit of an ass.”The pun brought a smile to Kankri's own face. There was no way to describe the amount of relief he was feeling, the years and years of mental torture and uncertainty all released from him in a single moment. All thanks to Horuss, who had saved his life twice now. Kankri didn't have the foggiest clue of how he could repay him.“Uh, so, not to ruin the moment, but...” Karkat cleared his throat, which reminded Kankri that Horuss was still holding his hand, and he awkwardly took it back. “What the piss fucking christ are we going to tell Dad?”Oh. Right. “Language, Karkat. And I'm not sure. This isn't very easily explained, is it?”“That's the understatement of the century. 'Hey Dad, Kankri got his hand back! A magical horse man who lives in the lake gave it to him!' He'd probably think Horuss is a demon or some shit and try to exorcise both you and him.”That was sadly an accurate prediction of what their incredibly religious father's reaction would be. “Perhaps we should tell him it was an angel?” he suggested. If they dressed it up as a miracle, then maybe he'd accept it. Horuss tensed, his eyes suddenly going wide and cheeks flushing pink, clearly embarrassed by the comparison. “I would say it's not entirely inaccurate.”“O-oh, um...oh my.” The kelpie in the backseat rubbed the back of his neck and looked away bashfully. Kankri smirked. To think he'd been afraid of this guy only minutes ago.“Oh god,” his little brother rolled his eyes and turned away to face the steering wheel. “I know he's your knight in literally no armor, but try to keep it in your pants, Kankri.”“Karkat!”
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Requests are now CLOSED! Thanks to everyone who submitted something in October, I got some really good ones that will def keep me busy for awhile.(My apologies for not being very active last month, something bad happened in my personal life recently and it takes priority over writing. I guess I'm kind of on hiatus again? Not sure yet, I'll let you know when I do. Ugh, fuck 2019.)
Alright, it's October! I can't believe I started doing this a whole year ago, my god. I really want to open requests again, bbbut...my life is still a little shaky right now, and my therapist is telling me that I need to limit myself when making any more commitments, so I'm going to do requests a little differently this time around, if you don't mind.
As of right now, REQUESTS ARE OPEN FOR THE FULL MONTH OF OCTOBER! From now until Oct 31st, submit your requests in the comments of this chapter! There are no limits, so submit as many as you want so long as you follow the rules below! Also, any unfilled requests from last time will be automatically be considered, too!
HOWEVER it's pretty obvious I won't be able to get to all of them, or probably even most of them. For the sake of my stress levels, I'll be cherry picking the ones I want to write at my own leisure. There is no guarantee that yours will be picked.
That doesn't mean someone else won't, though! I encourage anyone who gets inspired to write their own if anything here inspires them, (not limited to continuations of mine) and let me know about it if you do. Please don't be shy! I can't stress it enough that this is FANFICTION and we aren't here to read and write a perfectly crafted New York Times best seller, we are here to have fun!!
Thanks so much! The rules are below! Thanks for reading and happy Halloween~!
THE RULES:
This page contains all of the information you will need if you want to submit a request for me to fill. I'll need at least one or more of these three things from you:
Characters/pairings (You can specify the quadrant, if necessary)
A monster (Can be fairytale, scifi, folklore, supernatural, cryptid, etc)
A one-sentence prompt
I'll do the rest! I do have some rules, though:
Leave your request in a comment in THIS CHAPTER ONLY. I won't take any requests that are made in the comments of other chapters.
All characters and pairings are welcome, except for any involving incest or pedophilia.
All monsters/creatures are welcome. Any culture, any time period, any shape or size. Feel free to get crazy, I'm into that ;)
If you don't want something rated M for violence or sexual themes, then please include this in your request. I tend not to write porn just out of disinterest, but it's always a possibility.
Your prompt, if you choose to include one, needs to fit in exactly ONE SENTENCE. For examples, please check out the previous chapter summaries. Try not to get too specific with your scenario! I have the most fun when it's vague and I have the room to get creative instead of trying to connect the dots.
Have you already had a request filled? Cool! Send me more! There are no limits!
I have the right to refuse your request if I'm uncomfortable with it for any reason. If I want to make changes to your prompt then I will ask you first. Please keep in mind that I do these for free and for fun!
Thank you for reading, and I await your request! :)
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It took awhile for everyone to realize why Gamzee was acting so strange lately. He was prone to periods of lethargy every once and awhile, so when the naga refused to come out from the burrow under his heated rock, they figured he was just in one of his moods. Usually Karkat could bring him out of it eventually, but as the days turned into a whole week and Gamzee still wouldn't budge, not even to eat, the staff started to worry. His tail's purple coloring was becoming dull and his movements were twitchy and restless. They were afraid he was sick, and since Gamzee was the first naga in captivity, there was no real protocol for how to diagnose or handle a sick naga.Finally, Karkat got fed up and decided to drag Gamzee out himself. It was usually frowned upon to go into Gamzee's hiding spot while he was in there, as the naga needed to have a place where he had some privacy and felt completely safe, but at this point, they just needed to know what was wrong with him. It turns out they didn't even need to take him to the on-sight vet, though, because Karkat discovered the reason for Gamzee's behavior as soon as he went inside: He was shedding.Everyone felt really stupid once they learned the truth, and also relieved that something wasn't terribly wrong with their most valuable resident. Tavros was especially glad, seeing how he'd been missing the antics of his odd friend and was worried for him the whole time. It turns out Gamzee was just going through a normal process of his biology and everything was going to be fine....Or so they thought. They expected Gamzee to instinctively know what to do, but it turns out the naga was rather helpless when left to his own devices. The pale patches of flaky scales weren't coming off in one piece like how they would any other snake. Instead, they tore and fell off in clumps, making Gamzee look like a complete mess from the waist down. The sand in his burrow was too soft to properly rub it off and his skin was too dry after being under the heated rock for so long, they concluded, so it was decided that giving him some help was necessary if they didn't want him to develop dysecdysis.Thus, Gamzee was wrangled out of his hole so he could be given a much needed bath.They had to be very careful since his new skin was so sensitive and fragile, and Gamzee was acting a lot more skittish and defensive with the change, so only the people he trusted the most were chosen for the task. That was, of course, Karkat and Tavros. Even then, it was difficult to coax Gamzee out, but once they started sponging him down with soapy warm water, the squirming naga finally settled down with a big sigh of relief and allowed the two to do their jobs. It was good to see a content smile come back to his face since this whole thing started, and as the itchy dead scales were gently peeled away from his glossy new ones, he began to return to his old self...much to Karkat's annoyance.“Quit it!” Karkat demanded for the third time, wiping a glob of suds off his face with his damp sleeve. The naga looked away innocently, as if he wasn't the one who flicked it at him. The mischievous grin on his face while he tried not to laugh gave him away, though.Tavros chuckled and dipped his sponge in the bucket, then wrung warm water out over the spot on Gamzee's tail that he was working on. These two were always entertaining to watch. “That was a pretty good shot.” Karkat sent him a glare.“Don't encourage him.”“He just wants to play. I bet he's been really bored all week.”“That's his own damn fault,” Karkat grumbled. “I'll play with him later. After this, I've gotta help Nepeta with the – ACK!” The handler was cut off by yet another glob of bubbles to the face. “SON OF A FUCK, IT'S IN MY EYE!”The cry of pain made the playful smile on Gamzee's face drop. The naga reached out to his friend apologetically, but his hand was smacked away by a half-blind Karkat, who stood up and stomped towards the door. Tavros could feel Gamzee's tail tense as he shrunk back.“Fuck, shit, shit, fuck, it burns!”“Are you okay?” Tavros asked. “Do you need help?”“I'm fine,” Karkat said between his clenched teeth. “Or, I better be, anyway. If this shit leaves permanent damage then I'm gonna beat his ass with Terezi's cane!”It was only Dawn dish soap, so Tavros highly doubted it was that bad. Karkat was known for being overly dramatic, though. When the door slammed shut, the zookeeper was left alone with Gamzee, who hunched over himself, guiltily looking at the floor. It was a shame to see that smile of his disappear so soon after getting it back.Tavros went back to work soaking the scales near the end of Gamzee's tail so they could be easily peeled right off. He smoothed his fingers lightly over the new ones, unable to help himself when it felt so soft and pleasant. It was too quiet in the room, so he began to hum, and while he was dipping his sponge for more water, he gathered some extra foamy bubbles and flicked them with his fingers, sending some to land on the naga's shoulder. Gamzee flinched and looked up, but Tavros had gone back to patting his tail with his sponge as if nothing had happened.At first, Gamzee didn't respond. He probably thought it was an accident. The second time it happened, though, Tavros' smirk was getting harder to conceal, and the naga peered at him suspiciously.
Splat
Tavros had been anticipating the counterattack, but he didn't expect it to come from below. The very tip of Gamzee's tail flicked some drops of water upwards, which landed on Tavros' chin. Unlike with Karkat, Gamzee was watching Tavros intently, waiting for a reaction somewhat nervously. When Tavros snorted with amusement, the playful gleam in Gamzee's eyes came right back, and the muscles in his tail relaxed – only to jump when Tavros squirted his sponge at him in retaliation.It didn't take long for it to devolve into war. Tavros had the advantage, seeing how he had the bucket of water next to him, but Gamzee picked up the sponge that Karkat left behind to happily return fire. There was foamy water everywhere, all over the walls and floor, clinging to both of their hair, and gradually seeping into Tavros' clothes.The tipping point of the battle came when Gamzee's tail knocked the bucket over into Tavros' lap, making the zookeeper shriek and jump away. It was too late, though. His shorts were completely soaked all the way through. Gamzee puffed his chest out proudly, as if he thought he'd won. Little did he know, Tavros wasn't going to let him get away with that, and he picked up the bucket and tossed what remained right at Gamzee's shit-eating grin.The naga yelped and fell backwards. Tavros laughed triumphantly as his defeated enemy scrambled to sit back up, water dripping from his drenched curly hair as he blinked in surprise. The bewildered look on his face was absolutely priceless, and Tavros had to wipe away tears as he came down from his laughter. They were out of water, so surely that had to be the end, right?Wrong.Tavros only had time to squeak when Gamzee suddenly darted forward, as fast as a striking viper, and before he knew it, Tavros' back was against the floor. His hands were pinned to the ground on either side of him, held down by larger spotted ones locked around his wrists, and when Tavros looked up, his stomach flipped at the wicked expression on Gamzee's darkened face, fangs exposed with a deep, devious chuckle. The naga leaned down, and for a moment, Tavros was terrified that maybe he'd gone too far. Was Gamzee angry? Was Gamzee going to bite him?! Was he-“Wha – AH!” Tavros squealed when Gamzee unleashed his final attack. The naga started violently shaking his head directly in Tavros' face, flinging water droplets everywhere, and the zookeeper was powerless to stop him. Unable to block it or get away, all he could do was flail his legs and beg for mercy, and of course, Karkat chose that moment to walk in.“What the fuck is going on in here?”“K-Karkat, help!” Tavros cried between giggles. It turns out he didn't need saving, though, because Gamzee ran out of water in his hair and stopped, letting out heavy bellows of laughter that practically filled the room. He let Tavros go and rolled over onto the floor beside him, holding his sides as his tail writhed in unrestrained glee.“I leave for five minutes and you guys completely wreck the place,” Karkat scolded, though the ire was missing from his voice as he watched the naga enjoying himself so much. Neither of them had ever heard him be this loud before. “I don't know what's happening, but I have a feeling you deserve it.”Tavros couldn't deny that. He got the last of his giggles out of his system as he stood back up and rubbed his face. “Is your eye okay?”“Yeah, it's fine. Are you okay?”Tavros nodded. He was better than okay, playing with Gamzee had been really fun! The big snake really brought out the childish side out of him. “Heh, I'll, uh, need to change my clothes, though.”“I'll say. You look like a drowned dog.” Karkat reached up and plucked a stray scale out of Tavros' hair. He'll definitely need a shower, too.“I think we got all of Gamzee's shed now,” he motioned to the naga, who was gradually calming down and affectionately wrapping his tail around Tavros' ankle like he was known to do. “Do you think we should try feeding him?”“Way ahead of you. Aradia's delivering a whole bowl of pinkies to Gamzee's enclosure as we speak.” That was Gamzee's favorite treat. No doubt he would wolf them down the moment his appetite came back. “If we're done then let's get him back there so we can clean this mess. You even got it on the ceiling, holy shit.”“Heh, um, my bad...”Karkat's attention was taken from above to below when he felt a tug on his hand. Gamzee was looking up at him sheepishly, and Karkat didn't hesitate to pat him on the head. “Yeah, yeah, don't worry, I forgive you.” Gamzee brightened up and flicked his forked tongue out. The corner of Karkat's mouth twitched up fondly. “Idiot.”
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It's not like Tavros wasn't excited for the Midsummer Harvest. Who wouldn't be? It was a whole day of delicious food, gift giving, music, and dancing among his family and friends, when everyone came together after a year's worth of hard work and celebrated the blessings they'd earned from the gods. It's just that...Tavros wasn't as excited for Midsummer as everyone else. He never was, but this year in particular, he felt less blessed than ever.The death of Rufio over the winter was a huge blow to the tribe, and nobody felt it more than his young apprentice. Rufio had been much more than just the best healer in the valley, but a trusted friend of the chief, a legendary warrior of many heroic feats, and a beloved member of many families. There were even people from other tribes who traveled long distances seeking Rufio's help for wounds and sickness, and the expert healer treated every patient with the utmost care, no matter who they were or where they were from. He was a man that everyone looked up to, and the man that Tavros dreamed of becoming even a fraction of some day. It seems fate had other plans, though, and Rufio was taken from then before Tavros could finish his training. With no other heirs or apprentices, young Tavros was in charge of upholding his master's incredible legacy, and the crushing weight of expectation would have brought him to his knees, if he had any.Tavros already faced an uphill battle since he was a child when a horrible freak accident cost him both of his legs all the way up to his thighs, and with them, any future he'd been promised. Unable to tend to the livestock that were the Nitram clan's pride and joy, he took to training under the healer who saved his life, desperate to make himself useful to his tribe, who put up with his shortcomings for so long.There were many things he couldn't do after losing his legs, like farming, hunting, building, and foraging, and he wasn't cut out for the artistry of crafting, either, but he found he had a knack for mixing potions and salves. It wasn't a perfect fit, if anything was, but he'd already learned quite a bit from his own lengthy healing process, so he took the apprenticeship with hope that he might one day get to repay some of the people who took care of him, especially his hero Rufio. What he wasn't expecting was for Rufio to name Tavros his successor, and though it was a high honor, the young apprentice on the cusp of adulthood wasn't sure if he was worthy enough to accept.Now that Rufio was gone and the village had no other healers, he had no choice.It was no wonder that come time to leave offerings to the gods at Midsummer, he didn't bother so much with the Goddess of Light. It was only fair since Aranea, Mender of Fates, seemed to have skipped over him nearly his entire life, so why should he leave anything for her? She was lucky to get the leftover rotten fruit Tavros left at her shrine, unconcerned with the shaman's warning that bad offerings lead to bad omens. He sacrificed the tastiest cut of meat from one of his family's finest cattle last year, but it didn't do his luck any good, did it? If the Goddess of Light wanted a better offering, then maybe she should actually do something to earn it!Only a few days later, the valley became shrouded in darkness. The sun was high in the sky with not a single cloud in sight, but it hardly shined brighter than the moon, and the shaman delivered an uneasy message from the gods that something wasn't right in the divine realm. Tavros had no idea it was his fault, though, until the frantic priestess ran all the way down the mountain and announced that the Goddess of Light herself had appeared in the temple, and she was requesting a healer.Tavros was shaking in his seat as he was carried the whole way up the rocky mountain path to confront the goddess, who was no doubt angry at him for his poor offering. He'd lie and say it was all he had to give that year, except he'd given plenty of better offerings on the shrines of the other gods, so there wasn't really a way to talk himself out of this, was there? What was she going to do to him? What more could she do to him?! The poor man was so nervous that he had to have his ceremonial paint redone before he was allowed to enter the temple, because he sweat a lot of the bronze bands around his eyes and arms off in his attempt to not let his fear show. Rufio taught him to be brave! If these were truly his final moments, then he'd at least like to be remembered for the same kind of confident demeanor as his former master, not the sniveling mess he was sure to turn into as soon as he entered the ancient stone monument. Lucky for him, the goddess requested for him to come alone, so nobody would have to witness his breakdown. Unlucky for him, there would be nobody there to save him. Not that anyone could, anyway, but it would be nice to have a little emotional support in his final moments.The stone floor was smooth enough for the four wheel device that his master built for him, so the priestess saw him off from the entrance, bowing her head in prayer. Tavros would pray, too, but he doubted any of the gods that could hear him would get in the way of a member of the upper pantheon. He swallowed as he looked up at the looming high ceiling, knowing that he was truly and utterly alone.“Uuuuuuuugh, took you long enough!” came a voice that echoed throughout the structure. He stopped and clutched his wheels with fright as his wide eyes searched the gloomy alter room, looking for the deity he was here to see, but he couldn't see much of anything in the dim firelight from the torches flickering along the walls. “Down here, dumbass.”Tavros looked down and squinted through the darkness, and to his surprise, that's where he found her. The figure of a young woman was laying on her side, wrapped up tightly in her own arms, and her deep blue eyes narrowed at him through a heavy curtain of long hair, which splayed haphazardly all over the floor like freshly spilled ink. This...isn't exactly what Tavros was expecting an all powerful goddess to look like. Especially the Goddess of Light! Never mind her sorry state, according to the legends, wasn't Aranea supposed to appear older and with short hair?“Stop staring and – augh,” her command was cut off by a groan and her shaking arms tightened around herself, “...help me!”Tavros blinked out of his shock to carefully roll towards her, holding out his torch to better see the supposed deity, only for his torch to dim the closer he got. The flame was as hot and alive as ever, but the light drained away in her presence, and if it weren't for that, he wouldn't have believed that the shuddering woman before him wasn't human. But why was the Goddess of Light shrouding herself in darkness?“Uh...” Tavros cleared his throat and tried his best to keep his voice even, “are you Lady Aranea?”A tight scoff that sounded half like a cough broke from her throat. “Do I look like Aranea to you?”“Then, who are you?” he asked, feeling dubiously relieved that the goddess he thought was mad at him wasn't actually here, but growing ever more confused by the second. “Why did you tell the priestess you're the Goddess of Light?”“Because I am the Goddess of Light, you idiot!” she said angrily. “Did your stupid little village not get the memo?”“Er...I guess not?” Wow, this 'goddess' sure was mean. It was kind of hard to take her seriously when she was balled up in the fetal position, but the way the ground vibrated with her growing annoyance, she clearly still had some power left. “Who are you? And what happened to Lady Aranea?”“My name is Vrisk – aaaaaaaa – fuck!” she whined, her eyes squeezing shut, and Tavros waited a minute for her to take deep breaths before continuing. She was clearly in some kind of pain, and it was coming and going in waves. “I'm the new Goddess of Light. Aranea retired.” Wait, what? Gods could do that?! “Stop asking stupid questions and help me! Are you seriously the famous Rufio guy everyone talks about?”Tavros' stomach sank. “U-uh...no, I'm Tavros. Master Rufio was my teacher.”“Wait, was? Is he dead?” He nodded. “Ugh, dammit Megido!” The new Goddess of Light tried to push herself upright, but she didn't make it any further than her elbows before hanging her head in exhaustion. Tavros didn't mean to disappoint her, but he couldn't really blame her, either. It was amazing that Rufio's name was known even among the gods.“Sorry,” Tavros tried and leaned down to brush Vriska's hair from her face so that he could feel her temperature. Wait, was he allowed to do that? To touch a god? It seemed like one of those things only the priestess should be able to do, but Vriska didn't react when he pressed the back of his hand to her forehead, so he hoped that meant it was fine. It would be hard to heal her if he couldn't touch her, after all. Her skin was sweaty and hot, which would usually indicate fever, but Tavros hadn't ever treated a god before, so he wasn't sure what would be considered 'normal' in this situation. He didn't even know that the gods could get sick!“I was Master Rufio's apprentice, though, and I'm the best healer in the village,” technically true because he was the only healer in the village, but she didn't need to know that, “so I'll do my best to, um, help you?”“Sure,” she sighed, not sounding very enthused. “Fine. Whatever, Tavros. You better be at least half as good as your master was, 'cause if you aren't, then your little village is never going to see the sun again!”Tavros paled at the threat. As if he needed any more pressure! “R-right, so, do you know what's wrong, maybe? When did this start?”“It started after I – erg,” another wave of pain came and she laid back down to breathe through it. She was clutching at her stomach, so Tavros guessed it was nausea. He lowered himself out of his chair and onto the floor next to her to rub circles on her back, remembering how Rufio used to do this to soothe his patients and keep them calm. He was much better at it than Tavros was. “...after I ate that fucking fruit. Some ungrateful bastard left me rotten fruit as an offering for Midsummer, and it made me sick.”“Oh, w-wow, that's pretty gross! I wonder who could have done such a thing? Haha,” Tavros wondered a little too innocently and quickly changed the subject. “It's probably, um, food poisoning, then. Have you thrown up?”“No,” Vriska said, sounding absolutely miserable. “I've tried, but I can't get anything to come out.”Tavros rattled off a few more questions to ascertain exactly what her condition was before deciding on a treatment, and when he felt he had enough information, he got back in his chair and assured her he'd be right back. From the sound of it, it was definitely a classic case of food poisoning, which was incredible to think about. A god with food poisoning! Wouldn't a divine spirit be immune to such earthly things? Apparently not, and seeing how it was Tavros' fault that this happened, he had no choice but to fix it, for the sake of his village. At least Vriska somehow didn't know the culprit was him.The healer requested a few things from the people waiting outside, which they were quick to bring forward. They asked what was happening, but Tavros refused to say much, not knowing how much the goddess would want others to know. Rufio always said that patient confidentiality was an especially important tenant of healing.It took a few trips to get everything inside, for his lap could only hold so much, but eventually, he had the goddess laying in some proper bedding instead of the cold hard floor. She said she couldn't leave sacred ground, so Tavros had no choice but to bring everything to her, and he propped her up to sip on some water while he busied himself with his herbs and powders, nervously hoping that the remedy he chose would be the right one.“So, uh...Lady Vriska,” he began carefully, needing to break the uneasy silence made worse by the empty darkness, and also too curious to stop himself from asking, “how long have you been taking over for Lady Aranea?”“I only just started,” she answered, her voice breathy and low. “A few decades, I think? I don't know, time flows differently here than in my realm. That's someone else's job.”Then this really was the same Goddess of Light that was responsible for his suffering. He'd been cursing the wrong name this whole time. “Why did Lady Aranea leave the role to you?”“Because I'm the best one for the job.” Tavros' pestle ground the mortar harder than was probably necessary. “No other spirit of light has what it takes. Hell, I'm already better than she ever was.” Vriska tensed up and rolled her head to the side as another wave of nausea hit her. Tavros kept to himself and let her ride it out, no longer feeling as sympathetic.“...Did Aranea ever get food poisoning?” he muttered under his breath. That wasn't meant for Vriska to hear, but her glare made it clear that she had.“Watch your tongue, mortal,” she warned, and the ground rumbled beneath her. Tavros straightened his spine.“S-sorry!” Regardless how weakened this goddess was in her current state, that was a grim reminder of how powerful she still was, and why Tavros had no choice but to do her bidding. He couldn't help but wonder whether Rufio, as humble and selfless as he was, would want to care for the one who caused all of the awful things in his life? “What I meant is, uh, it's just, hard to believe that a god can become ill!”Vriska huffed and rolled her eyes. “It's not common, but yes, it happens. If this were simply a curse then I would have dealt with it myself, but this sickness came from the mortal realm, so it needs a mortal cure. How much longer must I wait? This is excruciating!”At least Tavros could take some secret pleasure from this. Stomach pain was a far cry from what he felt she deserved, but it was something. “Another minute.” A very long minute. “So why did Lady Aranea retire? Do the gods grow old, too?”“In a sense,” she shrugged. “It's more like we get bored. You can't expect us to give a crap about you fleeting mortal worms forever.” Make that two minutes. “Especially when some of you don't give a crap about us. Ungrateful bastard...”“Do you think,” Tavros couldn't help but mention, “that maybe, that human might have left you the bad offering for...you know, a reason?”Vriska's eyes narrowed. “And what reason would that be, hm?”“I don't know, like...the way you're talking, it sounds like you don't, um, take this job very seriously.”A humorless laugh escaped her, followed by a regretful wince. “I take my job very seriously! Too seriously, in fact.”“Okay, but, you said you're new to this, right?” Tavros pressed, against his better judgment. “Is it possible you've make a mistake? Forgot about someone, maybe?”“Nope,” she denied confidently. “I've been perfect since day one.”The healer's knuckles were white as he mixed some more water into his concoction. He knew he had to shut up now or he'd say something that would surely get him smited, but it was so hard to concentrate when Vriska clearly had no idea how wrong she was. If he weren't doing this to bring the sun back for his people, then he no doubt would have left her to suffer here with no remorse.“Here,” he said after a bitter silence. “It's done. Drink this.”The healer handed her the little bowl and helped pull the goddess upright from the bed of furs, more than ready to get this over with. There were just a few swallows worth of potion, but she only got one down before lurching away with a disgusted choke. Tavros anticipated this and was quick to hand her a large empty pot, which Vriska promptly began to fill with the contents of her stomach.“What did you do?!” she yelled at a very smug Tavros between the gross retching. “Did you poison me?!”“No,” he shook his head and leaned back on his palms to enjoy the show. “It's supposed to make you throw up. This means it's working.” Usually he would have warned her about the vile taste, but he couldn't pass up one of the only opportunities he may get for some petty revenge. “Keep it up, you need to expel all of the bad energy from your body.”“Great,” she spat. “If I die from this, I'll kill you!”“If you died, then how would you kill me?” Tavros asked cheekily as she went through another round of vomiting.“I'm a god, so I'll come back, but you won't.”It took several minutes for Vriska to stop throwing up. Even after her body was long out of anything to expel, she continued to heave and pant over the pot, mumbling profanities aimed mostly at Tavros, but also at the other gods, and it was kind of funny to know that the gods took each other's names in vain. Or, at least, this one did, but Vriska seemed a lot less like a god than anything Tavros had ever heard of. She didn't even wear the markings on her skin that gods were supposed to have, which was why humans had to paint themselves in order to enter temples in the first place. Spirits only communed with humans who marked themselves in tribute, which is why the priests, priestesses, and shamans had theirs tattoo'd on permanently. Maybe Vriska's blank skin was because she was so new to being a god?Or maybe she was no proper god at all. Honestly, that wouldn't surprise him.Eventually, Vriska let Tavros take the foul smelling pot away, wiped her mouth on a rag, and laid back down. Her brow wasn't creased in pain anymore, but now she was completely exhausted. Tavros couldn't let her relax just yet, though, and guided a flask to her lips, which she was hesitant to drink from. “It's just water. The bad energy is gone, so now you need to replenish your good energy.” Vriska eyed him warily, but did as she was told, lacking the strength to argue. She wouldn't be allowed to rest until she drank the whole thing.“Your master would be disappointed in you,” the goddess grumbled between sips, her voice much quieter and slow now. “You didn't even hold back my hair for me. What terrible bedside manner.”She was probably right, but for once, Tavros couldn't bring himself to care what Rufio would think. “I'll work on that.”“You have a lot to work on.” She closed her eyes and took a sip. “You're lucky I'm so nice, though. Aranea would have cursed your whole bloodline over an offering like that.”Every muscle in Tavros' body locked up. Vriska continued to drink like she didn't notice the pure horror that had come over the healer's face after she just revealed that she knew. Oh fuck, she knew?! “Wha – I – um, I d-don't-”“Oh, shut up,” she sighed, strangely incurious while Tavros squirmed. “Of all the mortals writhing around in the dirt of this world, you're the most annoying one by far, and the easiest one to figure out.”Tavros didn't know what to say, so he simply continued giving Vriska water and waited anxiously for her wrath. Being forced to heal her must have been punishment enough, right? He thought so, but he doubted she did. Vriska, as it turns out, had more to say.“Aranea had it so easy,” she started with a wistful hum. The goddess' demeanor had changed, Tavros noticed, like the hushed stillness of the sea before a storm. “She was a giver of light, after all. Mender of Fates. She brought hope to the hopeless and clarity to the blind. She was a healer...just like you.” She cracked an eye open at him and he agonized over what could be lurking beneath. “I always wanted to be like her. The way my power works is different than Aranea's, though, and for a long time, I thought that meant I could never take her place. I'm no giver of light like she was, I'm a taker. My nature is to shroud people's fates and steal them away. How could someone like me ever become the Goddess of Light?”Vriska paused to take another drink. Tavros waited with rapt attention, wondering why she was telling him any of this.“And you know what? I was right. I can't ever be like her, not in a million eternities. But do you know what I can be, Tavros?” He sheepishly shook his head. Suddenly, the goddess did something he wasn't expecting. She smiled. Not sinister or mocking, but proud. “I can be me. I don't have to be Aranea to do great things. I don't have to give light or mend fate the way she does, I can do it all my way. Ever since I figured that out, I have, and that's why Aranea chose me to be her successor.”“But-” Tavros blurted, but he quickly shut his mouth, afraid to keep stoking the fire that was under his ass. As great as that all sounded, it still didn't explain anything! How could Aranea have chosen Vriska when they were nothing alike? How could stealing someone's fate be beneficial at all?!“You want to know why I took your legs, don't you?”Tavros bit the inside of his cheek. He knew it wasn't his place to understand why the gods did what they did, but he'd already been asking it every day of his life, so why not once more? “...Yes,” he said, his voice sounding stronger than it had any right to be for once. “What was the fate you stole from me? And why?”Vriska took an agonizingly long time to give him an answer, finishing off the rest of the flask first and licking her lips in satisfaction. Finally, she fixed him with a look he didn't know how to decipher. “Because your fate was to die.”It took a moment for her words to sink in. When they did, Tavros was at a complete loss, starring at her with his mouth open in utter disbelief. He was supposed to...die? He searched her face for more of an explanation, and she took enough pity on him to give one.“You were going to die that day. If I were Aranea, I would've had to let it happen. There's no fixing a fate of death, after all. However, I'm not Aranea, and I don't bend to the wills of others, especially not Death, so I mended your fate by stealing it, so all you lost was your legs.” The smile came back, wider now and glowing. Literally. Dots of blue light began to shine under her eyes like stars and faint delicate lines formed around her neck. Tavros was starting to see what kind of goddess she really was. “It wasn't as easy as it sounds, of course. I had to pick a fight with Death, and she's still trying to get back at me for it! But I don't care, because in the end, it'll all be worth it.”“Why?” Tavros croaked. This was all so much to take in that he couldn't contain the tears welling up in his eyes. “Why...f-for me...?” He couldn't believe someone would do something like this – go so far, all so that he could live! And to live for what? To end up like this? To forever be a burden on everyone he loved? It's not like he wasn't grateful, but...what about him could possibly be worth all of that effort to save?!Vriska's hand lifted to wipe her thumb across his wet cheek, then she left it there to hold his face towards her. He couldn't say anything past his tight throat, but he didn't need to. It's like she could read his mind. “Because you're going to do amazing things, Tavros. Do you know what happens when I steal someone's fate?”“N-n, no?”“They make their own. And the fate you've chosen shines brighter than any Aranea could ever give.”Tavros pressed his face into her palm and held it there, and she let him spill his tears as the emotion washed through him. All these years, he'd been wrong! He'd been wrong to think so little of himself, he'd been wrong to feel guilty for needing help, and he was wrong to doubt this goddess! If what she said was true, then he never had a reason to worry this whole time, did he? Tavros did have a future, and it was much greater than the one he thought he'd lost.That's why Rufio chose him.He sat there sobbing for a long while, but Vriska didn't pull away. She let him squeeze her hand until he had no more tears left to cry, and when he could finally look her in the eyes again, she was still smiling at him.“I-I-I'm,” he hiccuped, trying to pull himself back together to say what he needed to say. “I'm s-so sorry, Lady Vriska, I didn't kn-kn-” She interrupted his blubbering with a hush with a finger to his lips.“Of course you didn't, you're only human. And just like any other human, you're dumb, cowardly, selfish, ungrateful, shortsighted, naive,” she listed off, and Tavros couldn't argue against it, “but that's what makes you full of soooooooo much potential. That's why I wanted to be the Goddess of Light, you know. I love seeing how far someone as pitiful as you can go when you're given the chance. You better not waste it, got it?”Tavros smiled back. “Got it!” She pinched his ear affectionately when he let her go and sat back up with newfound energy, the blue markings on her body glowing brighter by the minute. He could see that the sun was getting brighter outside, too, and he marveled at the beauty of a goddess reborn. “Are you feeling better?”“Much better,” Vriska agreed, stretching her arms over her head with a yawn. “I'm probably going to sleep for a century, though.”“Uh...”“Don't worry, I'll do it in my own realm. You mortals won't even notice I was gone. Wouldn't want you all freaking out that 'the gods have left you' or something stupid like that. Never a damn day off.”She got to her feet and washed the inside of the temple in shimmering blue. Tavros prepared to pull himself back into his chair, but he was surprised to become weightless with a flick of her finger before being dropped into the seat. “Woah, thanks!”“Thank me the proper way,” Vriska said and crossed her arms at him, “with a good offering next year. You better make up for the last one, too, or you'll be seeing me again!”Tavros was a lot less threatened by the rumbling now as he was awestruck. “Heh, I wouldn't mind that, actually.”Vriska was caught off guard by the honesty. For once, it was her who tripped on her tongue, but the goddess recovered quickly, turning her back to him and tossing her hair over her shoulders with a huff. “Careful what you wish for, or it might come back to bite you in the ass! Besides, it's not like I won't be checking in on you from time to time. Gotta make sure you aren't squandering the fate I'm betting so much on.”“I won't,” Tavros promised. He would definitely never doubt the Goddess of Light ever again. “Thank you, Lady Vriska, for everything!”She looked over her shoulder one last time, and with a smirk, she burst into a flash of blinding light. When Tavros rubbed the dots from his eyes, she was gone.“Tavros!” the priestess called from the entrance of the temple, the sounds of the village celebrating the return of the sun behind her. “Are you alright? Is the goddess pleased?”“Yeah,” he called back, the spiritual experience he just had leaving him breathless. “She will be.”Tavros knew he'd be leaving the temple a different man than when he entered, and while he was still there, he sent a quick prayer to Rufio to let him know that his successor was doing well.From that day forward, Tavros made sure to leave the biggest and best offerings for Vriska's shrine every Midsummer Harvest, and over the course of his very long life, he surpassed his former teacher's skill and helped the Goddess of Light free the fates of many who, like him, would otherwise have none.
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There was only one vampire that Sollux couldn't kill.Not that he didn't think he could, but the vampire slayer found it was a lot more profitable to keep the asshole alive than to reduce him to a pile of ash. The Church would revoke his license if they knew he was regularly letting a dangerous pureblood get away, but they were too busy rewarding him for all of his recent exterminations to look into his questionable methods.The vampire, whom Sollux discovered went by the name Eridan after so many close encounters, never seemed to take off his obnoxious purple cape, which made him easy as fuck to track after attaching a tiny GPS tracker to it. He might as well have a big neon sign over his head whenever he went, which often lead to the discovery of new dens and covens, which Sollux was quick to eradicate. Eridan was also dumb as hell, apparently, because after the first few times his secret hideouts were crashed, he really should have figured it out. Any other vampire that had anything to do with the guy would disappear shortly after. You'd think he'd eventually put the pieces together, huh?But no, Eridan continued to be oblivious, which was really working out in Sollux's favor. The higher Sollux's rank grew, the easier it was for his aim to be slightly off, for his traps to fail, or to not see which direction that pesky pureblood absconded to. So long as Eridan remained an invaluable resource and more of a menace to his own kind than to humanity, Sollux would keep him around. If this was sustainable, then he would quit his stupid day job and become a slayer full time. Man, that would be the life.Until then, Sollux delivered pizzas part time. Not the greatest job, but at least it let him do the night shift so that he didn't fuck up his sleep schedule too bad. There were still times that he had to pull an early evening shift, though, and it made him feel like a zombie, such as the night he drove his car to the gated community that was just on the edge of his restaurant's delivery range. Something about the address seemed familiar to him, but he was too close to the end of his shift to think of anything but getting off work and taking a much needed nap before going on patrol.That proved to be a mistake.When Sollux climbed the porch steps of an expensive looking house that was made to look like it was built in the 1800's and rang the doorbell, he almost didn't recognize the man that answered without his signature cape and striped scarf. Clearly, by the look of the shocked expression on his face, he hadn't been expecting to see Sollux here, either, and the two sworn enemies stared owlishly at each other for a solid minute of pure confusion.“...Well, shit,” Sollux muttered, breaking the silence. Seeing Eridan here was such a surprise that he couldn't even find it in himself to be properly scared, so much as amazed that his luck was seriously this bad. “This is awkward.”“You...” the vampire blinked. “You're a...” Sollux was expecting to be attacked, and he was expecting to lose in a fight with a powerful pureblood without any of his vampire slaying equipment on hand. What he wasn't expecting was for Eridan to burst out into a fit of uncontrollable laughter in front of him. “You're a goddamn PIZZA BOY?!”The slayer's eyebrows lowered in disappointment as his enemy doubled over himself and cackled until he was out of breath. Sollux knew he didn't look like much of a threat in his ill-fitting red and blue uniform, but come on. “Shut the fuck up.”“N-no, this is too good!” Eridan snorted. “You're so...so...so lame!”“Vampire slaying doesn't pay as well as it used to, you know.”“Clearly! Ahahahaha!”There went all of Sollux's pride, as well as his patience. “Look, asshole, I'm on the clock and I have other deliveries to make, so if you're going to try to kill me, then just fucking do it already.”Eridan wiped a tear from the corner of his eye and straightened up, trying to get a hold of himself. Sollux wasn't sure whether he was more relived to see him shake his head, or more pissed off at being dismissed so nonchalantly. “Nah, you're not worth the effort. And besides, I have company tonight.”At the mention of company, Sollux looked passed the vampire into his house to get a glimpse of someone else in his ornately decorated living room. He was too far away to tell whether he was another vampire or not, but a small guy with ginger hair in a gray turtleneck sweater was laying down on the couch looking like he was just waking up. “What, did you think that greasy Italian abomination was for me?”Now that he mentioned it, it was pretty weird that a vampire would order a pizza, on account of the garlic. Also, Sollux was pretty sure vampires couldn't eat anything that wasn't human blood. The guy on the couch must have been human, then, which only raised more questions. Why was there a human in a vampire's house? Was he a victim? Why was Eridan ordering him pizza?“Ugh, hey...” the ginger called out groggily, rubbing his eyes. “Eridan, who's that?”“Don't worry, Kar, nobody important.” Sollux's eye twitched. “Now, what do I owe you?”“Is that really it? Are you fucking serious?” the slayer couldn't help but ask. “After all this shit, you're just letting me go?”Eridan shrugged. “I don't see you attacking me, either.” Sollux opened his mouth, then snapped it shut. The asshole had a point. Seeing him tense up, Eridan raised an eyebrow and smirked, putting a hand on his hip with a little too much confidence. “Ah, so you really have been letting me go this whole time, haven't you? Interesting...”The way he said it gave Sollux the impression that he was onto him. In a panic, the delivery boy practically shoved the pizza box he was carrying into the other's hands, wanting nothing more than to get the fuck out of there. “That'll be $20.21, sir.”Eridan left momentarily to grab his wallet, leaving the door wide open and his back turned, probably on purpose, testing whether Sollux would do anything about it. He didn't. The man on the couch pulled himself upright and yawned, bringing a hand up to rub the side of his neck, but pulling it away with a wince when he did. That, his lethargy, and the paleness of his face were all clear signs that he'd been bitten recently, but he didn't seem all that perturbed by it. Strange.When Eridan came back with exact change, he pointedly placed an extra twenty dollar bill into Sollux's hand. “That's your tip,” he said. Sollux frowned, not understanding why in god's name he was being tipped so much by his mortal enemy. Eridan winked. “Consider it a thank you for all of your help, Sol.”Sollux hated the way he said his name like that. He also hated how cryptic that explanation was and that he didn't have the chance to ask what he meant by it before the door was shut in his face. On his last few deliveries of the night, Sollux spent the whole time wondering what the hell he meant.A few days later, another late night order was placed for the vampire's house. Sollux insisted on taking it, not wanting any of his young naive coworkers to fall into some kind of trap. He had a bad feeling that the order was meant for him, anyway.However, the slayer was much more prepared this time. He had a vial of holy water in the pocket of his baggy blue khakis, a rosary hidden just under his red polo shirt, a mini UV emitting flashlight on his key chain, and for good measure, his wooden stake shooting crossbow was waiting in the backseat of his car in case this encounter went south, which Sollux was willing to bet that it would. He didn't want to have to kill Eridan, it would mean the loss of his precious cash cow, but if the vampire had figured out what Sollux was doing, then he would have no choice.Adrenaline pumped into his veins with every step up the porch. He surveyed the area for all potential vantage points, traps, and escape routes as he went, and with a final deep breath, Sollux rang the doorbell and readied himself for what waited.God, he wasn't being paid enough by either of his jobs for this.What the slayer got when the front door opened was not a face full of fangs, however. Silhouetted in dim flickering candlelight behind him, wearing an embroidered silk robe and very little else, was Eridan. He leaned casually against the door frame, hip cocked and arms crossed over the stripe of his exposed pale chest, and he gave Sollux a smile so smug that it made his skin crawl.“Why, hello again, Sol.”In a heartbeat, all of the tension evaporated. “What the actual fuck are you doing?”“I'm ordering a pizza,” he said in a tone that was far from innocent. “Is there anything wrong with that?”“Cut the shit, Eridan. What's this about?” It was painfully obvious that the vampire wasn't looking for a fight. Sollux looked passed Eridan to check the living room, but there wasn't anyone laying on the couch this time. “You didn't order a whole ass pizza just to see me, did you?”“Maybe I did,” Eridan shrugged, and the shoulder of his robe slip a little further down. Sollux glared at the exposed collarbone. “Though, I suppose you don't need any help in finding me, do you?”Sollux's eyes flicked back up to meet Eridan's, which looked at him like cat looks at a mouse, and his stomach sank. He figured it out, didn't he? Fuck.“...I guess you aren't as dumb as you look,” Sollux grumbled, straightening his back and trying to save face. This wasn't going how he expected this to go. “Or maybe you are, if you know I've been stalking you and aren't gonna do shit about it.”Eridan snorted. “What does it look like I'm doing?”Sollux took a moment to look him up and down, pointedly scrutinizing his disheveled appearance. “Honestly? I have no fucking clue.”Finally, that annoying confidence of his deflated some. Eridan made a noise like a scoff and frowned. “For fuck's sake, Sol, you sure are slow on the uptake. It's seriously killing the mood.”“The mood? What are you...” Wait. Oh. Oh. Suddenly, it clicked, and Sollux's eyebrows shot to his hairline. “...Oh my god, are you trying to seduce me?”Eridan gave Sollux a perplexed 'no duh' look, and that's what finally broke him. It was the slayer's turn to burst into laughter, unable to handle how utterly stupid this whole thing was, and the vampire's frown deepened. “What's so funny? Isn't this what you wanted?”“No! Holy shit!” Sollux was having a hard time getting words out, let alone breathe. “Is that seriously what you thought I was doing?!”Eridan came away from the door frame to stand up straight, and as if to add insult to injury, his face was turning pink. Sollux didn't know that the undead could even blush like that, and it only made him laugh harder. “W-well, what else was I supposed to think! You put a tracking device on me and follow me around, and yet you slay every other vampire but me! It's obvious you have a thing for me!”“I'm fucking using you, you dumbass!” Sollux couldn't help but admit in hysterics. This was getting better by the minute. “You're always leading me to more vampires! You're helping me clean out the city and you don't even fucking know it!”“I'm helping you – what?! No, you're the one helping me clean out the city!” Eridan argued. “I'm the one using you! I lead you to those places on purpose to get rid of my competition!”“Oh, sure, I totally believe you.”“It's true!” The flustered vampire stomped his foot. “I'm fucking sick of all these selfish young half-blood vampires that have come in and invaded my territory! I remember the days when it was every vampire for themselves, but noooo, now it's too overcrowded, and we all have to share and get along and join covens to survive! And those leaches keep stealing my donors, too! Do you know how hard it is to find a willing human donor? Do you know how valuable that is?! It's hard, Sol! It's hard and nobody understands!”To Sollux's surprise, his pathetic whining sounded genuine. He would have never guessed there were some kind of internal politics going on between the blood sucking vermin dwelling in the cracks and crevices of society. “If that's the case, then why have me do it instead of getting rid of them yourself? You're a pureblood, aren't you?”Eridan sighed and leaned against the doorway again, this time heavier. “Yes, and I totally could, believe me, but there's so many little pacts between their groups and factions that attacking one would upset the whole lot of them, like poking a damn bee hive, and that would be too annoying to deal with. They know better than to go after a slayer like you, though, or it'll bring the whole Church down on their heads in the same way, so it's better if I just have you do all of the dirty work.”That made a surprising amount of sense. There was still one thing that bothered Sollux, though. “Okay, sure, let's say I buy it. What does seducing me have to do with any of that?”Eridan huffed and self consciously looked off to the side. “It doesn't. I just thought...I mean, if you weren't trying to kill me, then maybe you were some obsessed loser or something, you know?”“...And you were into that,” Sollux clarified. Eridan just admitted that he knew he was being followed the whole time and he liked it.Eridan narrowed his eyes and grumbled. “...A little bit, yeah.”“Wow. You're a freak,” Sollux snickered. The vampire rolled his eyes. “So that guy on your couch yesterday, is he a freak, too?”“He's my current donor,” Eridan answered defensively. “And he's not a freak. He's just some poor college kid who's short on cash, so I pay him for his...contributions.”“Why don't you just hunt people like any other vampire?”“Because donors are so much less messy and more convenient, and it's easier to lay low when you're not leaving a trail of bodies everywhere.”Fair enough. “Huh. Not gonna lie, that's pretty smart.” Eridan wasn't expecting a compliment from a slayer. Sollux wasn't expecting to give one to a vampire, either. It lapsed into an uneasy pause, neither knowing quite what to do about this situation. “So...uh...now what? Do we just...continue as usual? I let you find the vampires for me and you let me exterminate them for you?”“I suppose we could,” Eridan said slowly. “Unless...” He scratched the back of his neck, looking uncharacteristically nervous, but with a twinge of hope in his eyes. “...you'd like to come in and...discuss it further?”How backwards. A vampire inviting someone into his house. Shouldn't it be the other way around?It was very clear what Eridan was getting at, but like this, it didn't come across quite as crass as before, more desperate and pitiful. The fact that he seemed interested even after all of that made Sollux a hint of flattered, though, and it didn't help that his thin robe left little to the imagination, but even more so, Sollux was curious. He'd never gotten the chance to actually talk to a vampire before, and it wasn't likely that he would have the opportunity again. He certainly wasn't intimidated by Eridan anymore, that's for sure. If this guy wasn't killing humans to satiate his hunger, than Sollux had no real reason to hunt him, anyway.The slayer could feel it in his gut that this was probably a horrible idea that would bite him in the ass someday, but he figured he didn't have much to lose. Maybe he could humor the guy long enough to get some more invaluable information for the Church.Setting the long forgotten pizza down on one of the deck chairs on the porch, Sollux agreed and let himself be tempted inside. You only live once, right?
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Everyone in the family knew that Grandpa Harley was crazy, but when your relative is also crazy rich, they tend to get away with a lot more than they should.Jade, however, was too much of a naive girl to know what was brewing beneath the surface of every family gathering. The fake smiles, the pandering, the backstabbing, the drama, she managed to stay blissfully unaware of it, if only because her family didn't want any more competition. They sucked up to him, desperately fighting each other for Grandpa's inheritance, every move a carefully calculated strategy to win his good graces.Jade, however, just wanted to listen to his fantastical stories and spend afternoons learning how to shoot with his impressive collection of vintage guns. He was a bit off his rocker, sure, always sharing tall tales about encountering mythical beasts, hoarding stuff that looked like it belonged in a museum, and spending ridiculous amounts of money on paintings and sculptures of blue women, of all things, but he was always kind to her. What she cherished most were the days he recounted stories from his youth, back when he claimed to have hunted dragons in the depths of forbidden jungles, and he was more than happy to retell them.Jade never believed a single word of it, of course, but she thought it was an interesting fantasy, and she even wrote some of it down, in case she ever got the chance to turn his ramblings into a book. The whole time, nobody paid her any mind, thinking the old man was so divorced from reality that he'd be easy to sway with grand gestures and careful planning, but come the inevitable day of his passing, they all learned otherwise.Grandpa Harley left everything he owned to Jade, and from that day forward, Jade was alone.The rest of Jade's family turned on her in an instant. Instead of being happy for her, they argued that she didn't deserve the inheritance. Certainly not as much as they did, after everything they'd done to get it! It was all a waste! One of Jade's cousins even tried to sue her, which of course didn't work, but that and the horrible rumors beginning to circulate showed her the true colors of the people she once called family. They surrounded her like a pack of hungry wolves, biting at her heels with every step, and as Jade was cursing her grandpa's name for the burden he'd given her, a letter arrived in the mail, addressed from the late Grandpa Harley himself. It was dated the day he died.In the envelope was a thin silver necklace with a single glittering white diamond, and a short message in his curly cursive handwriting.
Be free, my dear girl, and do not waste your time as I did with those who cultivate on poisoned soil. You are brave, and you are strong, and this Dragon's Heart shall bring you the luck you need on the long journey that lies ahead.
Place trust in yourself and no others.
My hope lies within you,
- Colonel Harley
Jade understood now. This was all part of his plan, after all. Grandpa suffered in silence for so many years having to deal with their family's bullshit, and he didn't want the same for her. The most valuable treasure he'd bestowed upon her was the truth, and she vowed then and there not to waste it.The young woman used the money to flee from the only home she'd ever known and built a new one as far away as she could in a place they would never find her. She settled on a remote island in the pacific, the very same one from her grandpa's stories, and finally wrote that book.It was incredible just how accurate his descriptions had been about the place, almost as if he really had been here hunting dragons. The environment was perfect for inspiring her, and the one book became several in what was to be a long successful series of timeless adventures based on her notes from her grandfather's tales. She was at peace, alone on her island for from anyone who could betray her, and she was certain she wouldn't ever need anything more than her dog, her garden, and the sea. Whenever she felt lonely, she touched her fingers to the lump under her shirt where the diamond lay over her chest, reminding her of her grandfather's last words. This was all she could ever need and nothing could take that away.Until one night, as a typhoon had just begun to make landfall, the sound of glass shattering outside had her dog suddenly in a frenzy.“What is it, Bec?” she tried to soothe her, but her big fluffy friend wouldn't stop barking and scratching at the door. The windows were boarded up, so she had to crack the front door of the cottage to see what had happened, and she swore under her breath when she saw a large hole busted through the side of her greenhouse. Dammit, she'd spent all day sealing it before the storm, too! What could have caused the break? The wind wasn't even blowing that hard yet, and the glass was double reinforced, so it shouldn't have broken so easily.Jade didn't have a lot of time to wonder. Bec nosed the door open and forced her way outside, running straight for the greenhouse through the rain and right through the hole. Great, now her cottage was going to smell like wet dog.“Bec! Come back!” she called, which usually worked because Bec was a good dog, but this time, it didn't. Her barking ceased and she refused to come back out, so Jade sighed and grabbed her coat to investigate.The hole would need to be boarded up before the plants inside were destroyed, but while she was inspecting the damage, she noticed something very strange. Some of the shards of glass had blood on them, and more was smeared on the floor.It looked like...footprints.“Bec!” Jade called again, only to hear nothing in response. She went to her shed to grab her shotgun before unlocking the greenhouse door and carefully looking inside, announcing to the large humid room that she was armed and wanted whoever was inside to show themselves. At first glance, it appeared to be empty, but there was plenty of foliage for an intruder to hide in. They wouldn't get far tracking blood everywhere, though, and she followed the trail around and between the tables, all the way to the back where her larger potted ferns were.One of the ferns was twitching, and that's where Jade found Bec, her front half buried in the leaves, tail wagging furiously. The blood trail ended in the same place. “What did you find, girl?” Jade asked, relaxing some as she noticed how Bec wasn't agitated by whatever was in there. In fact, she seemed excited. Jade usually trusted her dog's judgment, so she lowered her gun and carefully moved the large leaves aside, expecting to see an animal or something. Wouldn't be the first time a wild boar broke in to get at her rhubarb.Huddled against the clay pot was not an animal. Or...maybe it was? There were two of them, and for a moment, Jade simply stared, unable to comprehend what she was seeing.They were...children. A young boy and a younger girl, but their skin was gray and textured weirdly, like scales. They each had a pair of horns sprouting from the tops of their heads, claw tipped fingers, serpent-like tails, and a shiny gemstone was embedded in their chests at the base of their necks. The boy's was bright red like a ruby, and the girl's was teal, like a turquoise.That particular detail had her reeling. There's only one other creature she knew of with stones in their chests, but...no, it wasn't possible!
Unlike all other natural creatures, dragons don't have real hearts. Instead, they have a gemstone where they keep their evil souls, and the only way to defeat them for good is to pry the thing out.
Bec was licking the drenched face of the boy, who was shielding the girl from the onslaught of slobber. Large golden eyes looked up at Jade in pure breathless terror, while the other child was curled up in a puddle of rainwater by his side. Her eyes were closed and she wasn't moving, aside from the rise and fall of her chest from labored breath, and the blood on the floor was coming from the boy's bare dirty feet. He must have carried her over the glass.“G-go away!” the boy cried in a hoarse voice, mouth full of sharp teeth.While the boy tried to bare his fangs and hiss in a way that was more pitiful than threatening, the girl had a different reaction to Jade's presence. She was roused enough to raise her head, sniffing the air through a stuffed nose, and her fingers twitched like she wanted to reach out, but she didn't have the strength to lift her arms.“...M...Ma..ma?” she croaked. The boy spared a quick glance at her before focusing back on Jade. His grip on her tightened.“No, that's a human,” he told her, but it didn't look like she heard him.“Ma-ma,” she called again, voice painfully weak.Jade was having a hard time comprehending this. There were two children – two dragons – in her greenhouse. Dragons were real. Her grandpa wasn't crazy after all! Jade wanted nothing more than to sit back on her heels and reevaluate her life, but there was no time. Dragons or not, there were two skinny, shivering, sickly, and terrified children in front of her that needed help, and it was hard to remember Grandpa's warnings when her heart was breaking just looking at them.It took a full minute of tense staring for Jade to finally clear her throat and say something. “...Uh...hi?” she tried, bending down to get closer to their level. The boy moved his legs like he wanted to stand up, but he winced when he put pressure on his wounds and fell back on his bottom. “It's okay, it's okay, I'm not going to hurt you!” she promised, slowly setting the gun down behind her. “See?”Bec chose that moment to come back in for another lick. The boy yelped and shielded his face with his arm, convinced that he was being eaten. Jade pulled her dog back by the collar and told her to sit.“Sorry, she's very friendly,” Jade apologized with the softest smile she could muster. “Do you two need help?”“No!” the boy said quickly, another shudder running through his body as he said it. Somehow, Jade didn't buy it.“It looks like you do. Were you stuck in the rain?”“Leave us alone!” he shouted with a volume that sounded way too loud for such a tiny thing. It made Jade flinch. “You'll hurt us!”“I told you, I won't,” Jade insisted, putting her hands up in defense. “I promise.”“You're lying!”The boy sure was stubborn. Jade observed him carefully, trying to think of anything that might convince him to put his guard down. She'd rather not have to wrestle him out of there. Not with those teeth and claws. She noticed the way he stayed between her and his companion, despite how hurt and scared he was.“Your friend doesn't look so good. Is she sick?” The boy sealed his lips in a thin line. “Did you carry her in here to get out of the storm?”“Don't touch her,” he growled angrily.“She needs to eat and warm up soon if she's going to get better. Will you be able to do that for her?”“I...” he trailed off, sparing another worried look to the girl, who was still trying to lift one of her arms up, mumbling deliriously between breaths. She looked half dead already, and she definitely would be if she didn't get help. “I-I can do it!”“With those feet?” Jade pointed. “You can't even stand.” The boy looked down, gritting his teeth. He knew she was right, but he was trying so hard not to let it show. He must really care for that girl. His sister, maybe? “I know you want to protect her, and it's very brave of you, but you can't do it all on your own. Please let me help.” Jade offered her hand and an encouraging smile, which he followed closely with his eyes. “My name is Jade, and this is Bec. What are your names?”The boy sniffled. He was quickly losing the battle to look strong, frustrated tears starting to prick at his eyes. “...Mhm...Karkat.”Jade nodded. “And her?”“Terezi.”“Karkat and Terezi,” Jade repeated. Those definitely sounded like dragon names. “Is there anyone who might be looking for you right now? Your mama?”Karkat shook his head, flinging a few water droplets. “No.”“Mama...” Terezi called again. Karkat let go of her arm to pat her soggy hair between her horns. The girl's were noticeably sharper than his.“No mama,” he said sadly to her. “She's not here.”As if Jade's heart couldn't break any more. “Come on,” she gestured with her hand, “I'll bring you two inside my house where you'll be safe, okay?”Karkat stared at her open hand for an uncomfortably long time, then at Jade, biting his lip. Bec did her best to be convincing, too, laying down to put her chin on her front paws and letting out a little whine. Jade gave him all of the time he needed to think it over until he finally hung his head in defeat. “...Fine,” he grumbled. “But you can't touch Terezi.”“Uh...I don't think that's going to be possible,” Jade admitted. “I'll need to carry her to-”“No!”What a difficult little idiot. “Well you can't carry her anymore, can you? And if I don't, then she'll have to stay out here in the storm, and then she'll never get better. You don't want that, do you?”Karkat opened his mouth to argue, but snapped it shut a moment later. He knew she was right. Still, he didn't want to give up on this silly condition, so Jade tried to think of something to appease him. “Can I use gloves?” she offered. To her surprise, Karkat gave it some thought and nodded.“Gloves are okay. Just...don't touch her.” Alright, fine. Jade was just glad to have come to any kind of compromise.By the time Jade was able to coax the children out from under the fern and carry them each into her house, wearing literal kid gloves while holding Terezi, Jade wasn't so sure if they were dragons, after all. Grandpa said that dragons were all selfish evil creatures who were incapable of love, but these two didn't seem anything like the monsters Grandpa Harley described. Jade spent the rest of the night with her hands full. It was hard enough figuring out how to care for two children who weren't human without Karkat yelling every time she moved too fast or got too close to Terezi. Karkat seemed to be slightly older than the girl, who was mostly unconscious the whole time, and was overprotective of her to a fault. He enforced the no-touching-Terezi rule strictly, even biting Jade's hand with his needle like teeth when she forgot and tried to feel her forehead for her temperature, but it wasn't exactly the fear of Jade hurting her that bothered him, it was specifically skin-on-skin contact.In contrast, Karkat let Jade touch him with little fuss, but never Terezi. It became especially bothersome when Jade tried to bathe her, and Karkat insisted that he should do it himself. Jade ended up letting him have his way, simply supervising the whole affair and wondering the whole time what the hell she'd gotten herself into.Terezi perked up a little bit while in the bath, enough to sniff the air and blearily open her eyes for a moment. That's when Jade discovered she was blind. Somehow, Terezi could always tell where in the room Jade was, though, and she kept reaching towards her and calling out to her Mama, much to Karkat's irritation.“No, Jade is not your mama!” he tried to tell her, but she wouldn't listen.“It's okay, Karkat,” Jade told him, trying to keep her tone even while his constant shouting was giving her a headache. “She's not fully awake right now. She doesn't know.”After the battle that was getting her and Karkat to drink some cough syrup (only after taking some herself to prove it wasn't poison) Terezi was carefully dressed in an oversize T-shirt and lead to Jade's bedroom to be put in bed, and then it was Karkat's turn. Oddly, he was a lot less fussy about himself, tolerating Jade scrubbing soap into his hair, taking a washcloth to his grouchy face, and pulling a shirt over his nubby horns.The cough syrup probably helped mellow him out, and after dressing the wounds on his feet, she put him in bed right next to Terezi, who had finally stopped muttering incoherently and was looking a little less feverish, thank goodness. Bec kept her company the whole time, laying next to her and keeping watch like the good dog she was, and Karkat relaxed seeing Terezi sleeping so peacefully. He snuggled in close to her and held her hand.Jade rushed to make some soup before he fell asleep, too, hoping to get at least one of them to eat, but when she went back to her room with a bowl, it was already too late. Karkat was out cold, wrapped up in blankets and pillows, and Bec stayed with them dutifully while Jade went back downstairs. Now that she had some time to sit down and think, though, it begged the question: what on earth was she going to do?!Jade had dragons in her house. They didn't quite look like dragons, but she remembered her grandpa saying something about how the babies were born looking human, because all dragons used to be human at one point.
They came into being after a witch cursed a castle full of greedy nobles to shed their skins and reveal their true nature. Their children are born innocent, though, so the curse doesn't start taking effect for them until they grow older and start building their hoards.
Does this mean those children were destined to grow into giant fire-breathing lizards, or was it a matter of nurture over nature? Where did those two even come from? Where was their mom?Unfortunately, she didn't get to think too much on it before the cough syrup put Jade out, too. She woke up on the couch late into the morning, the storm continuing to rage outside, to the sound of a loud crash upstairs, followed by a bark from Bec. Jade rushed to her bedroom to see what was going on.“What was that?” she asked frantically as she opened the door, and she found Karkat on the floor with the bedside table knocked over. He was gripping his feet and biting his tongue with pain while Terezi wailed under the covers. Bec pawed at the lump in the bed with concern.“Where did Mama go? She was here! Where is she?!”“I told you, she's not-” Karkat was saying, only to freeze like a deer in headlights when Jade came in.“Are you okay, Karkat?” she asked first, crouching down to pick him back up. She couldn't get her arm around him without him biting it, and she practically tossed him back onto the bed. “Ow! What was that for?!”Karkat hissed and his tail swished back and forth behind him like a feral animal. Oh lord, were they going to have to go through all of this again? Terezi poked her head out of the blanket, looking a little more alive than yesterday, but still too weak to sit upright on her own. Her nose twitched, and suddenly, the sad tears turned into an excited smile.“Mama!” she cried and stuck her hands out in Jade's direction, like she wanted a hug. “There you are! I knew I'd find you! It's me, Mama!”“That's NOT your mama!” Karkat said and shoved her arms back down.“Yes it is! I can smell her!” Terezi argued, her voice scratchy from fever. “I told you she was here! I told you, Karkat!”“You what?” Karkat's eyebrows shot up and he looked between Terezi and Jade incredulously. “No, Terezi, Jade is human, she can't be your Mama. Tell her, Jade!”Jade was so frazzled from all of the chaos that it took her a moment to respond. “I – uh, I'm sorry, Terezi, he's right. I'm not your mama,” she said. “Maybe I can help you find her, though?”“Huh? No...” Terezi looked perplexed. “But...I can smell her...she's right here...”“Maybe she's nearby?” Jade suggested, looking to Karkat for answers. Karkat was no help the way he sat between them and glared. “Where did you last see her?”“Never,” Terezi answered simply. Jade smacked herself in the forehead. Right, right, she's blind.“No, I mean, when's the last time you were with her?”“Never,” Karkat repeated for her. “Her mama was already gone when she hatched.”“Oh...I see. And what about yours, Karkat? Do you not have the same mama?”Karkat crossed his arms and looked away bitterly. “My mama didn't want me.”“...Oh. Um. I'm sorry.” Jade was going to need some coffee before she could get into this. The kids still needed to eat, too. “We can talk more about this over breakfast, okay? I'm going to warm up some soup for you guys. Karkat, please calm down and stay put. I'll be right back.”Jade left the chaos behind and Bec followed so she could be let into the yard to pee. It was utter chaos out there, trees bending and rain falling sideways. She never got to patch up that hole in her greenhouse, so her plants were probably getting battered. That wasn't going to be fun to clean up.Coming back upstairs with bowls of soup, Karkat and Terezi were thankfully still where she'd left them. Jade was glad she put a towel down because they were quite messy eaters. She tried to get more information out of them about their situation, and Terezi proved way easier to talk to than Karkat. Maybe it was because Jade apparently smelled like her mother that her guard was so low, but hey, whatever worked. Terezi took her medicine and ate her soup obediently, and she answered every question she was asked, but being so young, her answers weren't all that comprehensive.“I hatched late,” she said. “My nest was empty, but it still smelled like Mama, so I went looking for her, and then I found Karkat!”“And he's helping you find your mama?” Terezi nodded cheerfully. She was such a little ball of sunshine compared to her moody companion. “I'm glad you have each other. It must have been scary being all alone.”“No, nothing scares me!” she exclaimed. “Karkat's the scaredy-scales!”“Am not!” Karkat protested. The scales around his cheeks had a habit of flaring out a little when he was upset. It was probably supposed to be intimidating, but it was more cute than anything. “I'm just smarter than you, stupid!”“Hey, be nice,” Jade told him. Gosh, he needed to learn some manners. “You are both very brave.”Karkat went back to being quiet after that. He relaxed a little after being given more cough syrup, though, and when Terezi went back to sleep, he began asking Jade some questions of his own.“Why are you helping us?” he pressed for what was probably the tenth time. Jade tried not to let her exhaustion leak into her voice.“Because you need help and it's the right thing to do,” she said.“But you're human. Humans hurt us.”The way he said that made her frown. It sounded like he had experience. “Has a human hurt you before?”Karkat's face went from angry to sad and he averted his gaze. “...Yeah. Humans are why my mama hates me.”“How's that?”He picked at some lint on the blanket, his eyes drifting back to his friend. “A human took me from my nest,” he muttered. “I got away and went back, but she could smell that the humans touched me and chased me away. Mama didn't like humans.”...Oooooh, now it was starting to make sense why Karkat didn't want Jade touching Terezi. Terezi was looking for her mom, but if she found her and smelled like a human, then he feared she'd be abandoned, too. That's something her grandpa didn't tell her about dragons, though most of what he knew about them was how to find and kill them. Jade worried it was already too late for Terezi, though, considering she'd been sleeping in a human's bed and all. She probably reeked of human by now.“I'm sorry, Karkat, that's awful... You didn't deserve that.” Now that she knew his backstory, Jade was starting to figure him out a little easier. Underneath his gruff attitude was a deeply sympathetic boy who was hellbent on keeping another child like him from the same fate he endured. Would a selfish evil monster do something like that?Karkat shrugged, not wanting to talk about it anymore. Jade wasn't going to press him. Instead, he asked, “Why do you smell like Terezi's mama?”“I don't know,” Jade shrugged. “Coincidence, maybe?” Karkat shook his head in disagreement.“Terezi's usually never wrong about smells, and she knows her mama's scent better than anything. There has to be a reason.”“Sorry, I wish I knew,” Jade sighed. This would be much easier if she did. “You two can stay here as long as you need, and once the storm passes, we'll all go looking together. Let me know if there's anything else I can do for you, okay?” Karkat nodded and settled back into bed to take a nap, too. At least Jade didn't have to worry about him running away when he couldn't walk.While the kids were asleep, Jade found her grandpa's notebooks, which she'd been using as a guide for her novels. She'd already combed through them, but surely there had to be something in there she was forgetting that could help. It was amazing how she thought it was all fantastical gibberish just yesterday, but now that she knew it was real, she dissected every word like a textbook. Grandpa Harley's documentation was definitely biased against dragons, though, so she wondered how much of it was actually true.“Mama?”Jade nearly jumped out of her skin when she heard the small voice of Terezi right behind her. She narrowly dodged the toddler's hand before it could touch her. That was close! “T-Terezi! What are you doing here? Weren't you asleep?”A confused and groggy Terezi stood next to the couch on wobbly feet, holding onto Bec's fur, who must have helped her down the stairs. “I have to potty,” she said timidly, shifting on her feet. Jade calmed down.“Oh! Okay, here, let me show you where to go,” she instructed, awkwardly trying to direct the toddler to the bathroom, where she had to teach her how to use a toilet, all while keeping her at arm's length. Terezi kept trying to come closer, and every time Jade moved away, her little tail and pointy ears drooped.“Do you hate me?” she sniffled with her head down when she left the bathroom.Jade's heart broke clean in half. “No, no, of course not!” she assured, wishing she could wrap the poor lost girl up in a big warm hug. “It's just that I can't touch you, or your mama might get mad.”“But...” a tear rolled down her cheek that Jade couldn't wipe away. Since she couldn't see Jade with her own eyes, the scent thing must have really been throwing her for a loop, and it didn't help that she was still a bit delirious. She must have felt like her mom was rejecting her.“When you're feeling better, we can look for your mama together,” Jade promised. “She must not be far. Your Mama will want you to be strong and healthy, so let's get you back to bed, okay sweetie?”Terezi frowned, but complied. Jade didn't want to make her climb all of those stairs herself, so she found a blanket and wrapped the dragon child in it like a burrito so she could pick her up and carry her back to the bedroom. Terezi sighed deeply and relaxed in her arms, and Jade carefully rocked her to sleep like that before setting her back down next to a soundly snoring Karkat, wishing there was more she could do for them both. No child deserved to go through something like this.That day was full of endless snot and coughing. Their fevers broke around noon, thank goodness, so now Jade just had to get them through the rest of it. She made sure to clean and re-wrap Karkat's feet periodically, which he hated since the disinfectant stung like a bitch, but the cuts were already making some progress in healing, so she braved his kicking and screaming. The boy was frustrated with how much they itched, but then, there wasn't much he wasn't frustrated with.Jade had to count to ten often when Karkat would throw a fit over literally anything. His voice was permanently set a few decibels too high, but it became clear after awhile that he was only so worked up because he'd been stuck in bed this whole time, and he didn't like it when Terezi was out of his sight. The little girl had taken to riding Bec around like a horse, who seemed to be enjoying the attention from the kids quite a bit. Those two were quickly becoming good friends, which was utterly adorable. Bec would make a hell of a seeing eye dog.Jade had to reassure Karkat thousands of times by now that she hadn't touched a single hair on Terezi's head, and she tried to give him something to do to distract him. Her bed was littered with crayons and paper, and she even set her TV up on her dresser to play cartoons. That backfired a little when Karkat watched My Little Pony, and something about the little dragon character with the purple pony triggered an 'episode,' as Jade was starting to call it.For how much of a pain in the ass Karkat was to deal with, though, he was still a sweetheart, deep down. Jade could see it in the way he acted like a loving big brother to Terezi, helping clean her up when she made a mess and snuggling with her when they slept. It was also telling how shy and flustered he got every time Jade did something nice or complimented him. He kept claiming he didn't like her, yet he had no problem clinging to her shoulders when she carried him to and from the bathroom, or listening to her read him stories, or allowing her to kiss his boo-boos better. What a funny kid.Terezi, in a surprising turn of events, became the bigger pain in the ass once she was well enough to start running around the house. Jade had to watch her like a hawk to make sure she didn't get herself into trouble, and the basement was full of stuff she had to remove from her shelves so that the dragon girl wouldn't knock them over or try to lick them.Yes, that's right. Lick. The child couldn't keep her tongue in her mouth for some reason and used it about as much as her nose and ears to get around. Being blind did nothing to curb her curiosity and sense of adventure, which Jade had to admit was admirable, but she quickly learned to keep gloves in her pocket at all time so that she could catch the rambunctious Terezi at a moment's notice. Karkat had a knack for reigning her in, but only when they were together, and Terezi refused to stay cooped up in one room for too long, so Jade and Bec had their work cut out for them.It didn't help that there was still a typhoon outside. Jade ended up having to brave the downpour when a part of her gutter came loose and started smacking the side of the house. By the time it was taken care of and she came back inside, she looked and felt like a drowned dog, and desperately needed a hot shower. She had the kids settled and watching a movie before she disappeared into the bathroom, thinking of nothing but a much needed reprieve, until she peeled off her shirt and a glint in the mirror caught her attention.The sight of the white diamond against her darker skin didn't bring her as much comfort as it once had. She'd forgotten she was wearing it, and it felt kind of wrong now. It was a Dragon's Heart, according to her grandpa, who had taken such pride in prying it from the chest of a creature not unlike Karkat and Terezi. If the diamond dragon was anything like the ruby and turquoise dragons she was caring for, then Jade wasn't so sure she could stomach wearing it. She hoped all of those dragons Grandpa slayed really had been evil.Not Karkat and Terezi, though. The little dragons in her house were the farthest thing from evil, they were just children. It was hard work looking after them, but also kind of rewarding, in a weird way. Perhaps it was just her motherly instincts kicking in, but when she saw their gentle sleeping faces, or watched Terezi play with Bec in the living room, or brought the faintest twitch of a smile to Karkat's lips, or heard the sounds of life in her otherwise empty home, Jade felt a sense of contentment that she hadn't felt in a very long time. Especially around other people.But...it wouldn't last forever, would it? If those children grew into their curse...Jade sighed and took the necklace off, leaving it on the counter. What would happen if Terezi found her mother? What would happen to Karkat? Were they truly destined to become monsters? Was there anything Jade could do?Should she? As she came out of the shower, she heard a heavy thump, a crash, Terezi laughing, and Karkat yelling. Well, damn, that was a nice ten minutes of quiet. Jade left the necklace on the counter and rushed to get dressed so she could see what the kids were up to now.When she found them, Terezi was on top of the kitchen cupboards knocking things down like a mischievous cat, and Jade had to admit, she was kind of impressed that the little blind dragon managed to get herself all the way up there. Karkat was on the ground, yelling at her to come down, but Terezi only taunted him by sticking her forked tongue out.“Sweetie, that's dangerous,” Jade informed as she began putting on her gloves. “Children belong on the ground.”Terezi perked up at the sound of her voice and looked in her direction, but then the dragon girl's gleeful smile fell as her nose sniffed the air. “...Mama?”Jade thought they'd been over this enough times now. “No, not Mama, but if she were here then she would want you to come down safely.”She expected Terezi to obey her, because she normally did, but this time, she scooted defensively closer to the wall. “I can't smell her anymore...why can't I smell her?”Was it because Jade took a shower? Maybe she washed off whatever was making her smell like Terezi's mom. “I don't know, but if you come down here, we can figure it out.”“No!” Terezi suddenly shrieked. “She's gone! I don't smell her anymore!”“You never smelled her, that's just Jade!” Karkat said. Terezi shook her head.“No, no! She was here! She was...” The dragon girl tried sniffing again, which turned into sniffles. “...Sh-she's gone...”“She couldn't have gone far,” Jade assured and started climbing onto the counters. It was a bit precarious and she had to keep a good grip on the cupboards as she stood up, but Jade was nearly knocked right off when she was suddenly greeted by a hiss. “Woah, Terezi, it's okay! It's just me-”“No you're not!” she shrieked again. The smooth scales on her cheeks bristled and her brow lowered. Jade had to keep her distance or she feared the little one might try to bite. This was the first time she'd ever seen Terezi so mad.“Yes it is! You know me!” Jade tried. It didn't seem to help.“You don't smell right! You're not Jade or Mama!”“What are you talking about, stupid? That's definitely Jade,” Karkat informed. “She's been helping us, remember?”“But Mama...!” The expression on Terezi's face kept shifting from angry, to scared, to sad. A simple change in the way Jade smelled left her so confused.“I'm not your mama,” Jade said as gentle and soothing as she could and hushed her whimpering, “but I care for you, too. I want you to be okay, and I want to help you find her. Will you please come down for me?”It took a few minutes, but Terezi finally relented. She was crying as Jade carefully placed her back down on the floor, and she ran out of the room. Jade wanted to comfort her, but she feared she wouldn't be able to do much like this and would only make it worse. Karkat went instead, shooting her a suspicious look first, leaving Jade scratching her head in the kitchen with Bec.“What was that all about?” she asked her dog. Bec cocked her head. Dragons sure were weird. On the morning of the third day, the storm was finally over. No more wind howling past the windows, no more rain pounding on the roof, just the peace of birds chirping and quiet.Too quiet.“Karkat! Terezi!” Jade called upstairs once breakfast was done. She figured the kids were sleeping in late, so she took advantage of the rare time to herself to make pancakes and drink a cup of coffee. When her call went unanswered, she went upstairs to fetch them, hoping to see their cute little faces as they yawned and rubbed their eyes.They weren't in the bedroom. “Karkat? Terezi?” Not in the bathroom, either. Jade noticed that someone else was missing, too. “Bec?”Nothing. The house was empty.“Karkat! Terezi!” Jade shouted out her open front door and whistled for her dog. She received no answer at all. Looking at the muddy ground, Jade spied two sets of footprints and one set of dog prints, and she immediately set out to follow them. What the hell did those kids think they were doing, wandering off like that? When did they leave? Did they sneak out while Jade was making breakfast, or before she woke up? Why?!The fact that Bec was with them kept her from panicking too much. Bec wouldn't let anything bad happen to those children, so at least there was that, and Karkat couldn't get very far on his sore feet. Still, as their trail led her directly into the jungle, Jade got a bad feeling in the back of her throat.Finally, after almost a full hour of navigating the underbrush, she heard something. It was Karkat, and for once Jade was glad for how much his voice carried. He was talking to someone, presumably Terezi, and he sounded angry. Not his usual kind of angry, though. It was the kind of angry that was on the verge of tears.“Get up! We need to go!”“No,” came Terezi's curt reply. Jade stopped to listen, trying to pinpoint what direction they were in.“If we don't go, she'll find us, and she'll kill us, too! Is that what you want?”“No.”“Then come on!”“No!”It was coming from due west. Jade carefully made her way there, treading lightly the way Grandpa taught her as to not make a sound.“You're being stupid, Terezi!”“I don't care. Leave me alone.”Karkat made a frustrated noise and threw something against a tree. Jade could vaguely see Bec's white fur through the leaves. “I didn't let you drag my tail around just to give up!”“It doesn't matter.”“What doesn't matter?”“Everything,” Terezi's voice cracked. “Everything doesn't matter! Mama is dead! I should've stayed in my nest, this was all useless...”“No it wasn't! If you stayed in your nest, then we wouldn't have met. That matters, doesn't it?”Terezi didn't answer. Bec whined. Jade stopped moving when the air went silent, save for the babbling of nearby rushing water. She could feel the tension in the air.“...Well, it mattered to me,” Karkat finally said, and a quiet bitterness singed his voice. “If that's how it is, then fine. I'm leaving. I don't need you, or anyone else ever again!”Jade heard him stomping off. Bec whined again and paced, but ultimately decided to stay with the blind girl, who was curled up in a ball in the roots of a freshly fallen tree, and dangling from her hand was the sparkle of a diamond necklace. Jade's necklace. Karkat was using the trunk to cross an overflowing stream, which was practically a river after the days of heavy rainfall. After overhearing their conversation, the true heaviness of the situation sunk in, and Jade's heart sank.It all made sense now, why Terezi could smell her mama whenever Jade was around, why she got so upset after Jade took her necklace off, why Terezi's nose lead them to Jade's cottage in the first place. The diamond Dragon's Heart...it wasn't from just any dragon. It had once been Terezi's mother.The woman stood up from the brush. Bec wagged her tail and barked, looking about as relieved as a dog could, but Terezi didn't budge at all, even though she had to know that Jade was there with her sensitive nose and ears. Karkat, however, whirled around to see the human approaching Terezi, and he immediately started running back, more anger on his face than fear.“DON'T TOUCH HER, YOU – AHH!” His shout was cut off by a yelp as he slipped and nearly topped over into the water. He was able to grab onto a branch, but it left his feet dangling over the raging torrent below, and Jade quickly went to his rescue.“Karkat! Hold on!” She climbed onto the fallen tree and started making her way over to him, but he hissed and swiped at her as she neared. The suspended tree trunk could support a child, but it bowed threateningly under the weight of an adult, and it was hard enough to keep her balance like this, much less while fighting the dragon boy. “K-Karkat, please, let me help you!”“You're a LIAR!” he spat. “YOU NEVER WANTED TO HELP! YOU KNEW!”“No, I didn't!” Jade said earnestly, “Listen, I-”“YOU USED THAT GEM TO LURE TEREZI!”“That's not true! I had no idea it was-”“YOU WERE GONNA FATTEN HER UP AND MAKE HER INTO A NECKLACE, TOO! YOU MONSTER!”Jade couldn't get a word in. The branch creaked, warning them that they were running out of time, and she managed to get a grip on his wrist. Karkat, however, dug his claws in her arm, and she screamed in pain as he pulled, trying to make her topple into the water. “YOU HUMANS ARE ALL THE SAME! YOU JUST WANT TO HURT US!”Jade felt herself teetering on the edge as the branch jolted and cracked. If she let go, she would fall into the muddy torrent. If she didn't, then Karkat would pull them both in. Despite everything, he was willing to sacrifice himself to save Terezi, but Jade wouldn't let that happen!Jade gave up trying to regain her balance and let gravity take over. She used the last of her strength and momentum to practically throw the surprised boy back onto the tree trunk, taking her place as she plummeted to the raging water below, and the current swiftly ripped her away. She heard Bec barking for the brief moment before her head went under.The woman tumbled and smashed against rocks and debris, which ripped the air from her lungs and she choked on water. She couldn't see, she couldn't even scream, only struggle to find the surface again, but she was so dizzy that at times she couldn't tell which way was up. Everything was cold, her nose and chest burned, until finally, as she was beginning to lose consciousness, something grabbed her by the hair and pulled.She barely registered the pain as she was tugged up onto the muddy shore, coughing, wheezing, and trying to stay awake as she turned over to vomit. Her hair was let go and a warm tongue insistently licked her face, the worried whines telling her it was Bec before she even opened her eyes. Her dog just saved her life, and Jade pressed her face into soggy wet fur, wanting nothing but to give her best friend all of the praise in the world, but all she could manage to get out between gasps was, “Good girl, Bec, best girl!”It wasn't long until she heard the patter of footsteps fast approaching. She rubbed her bleary eyes and looked up to see both Karkat and Terezi, the younger hiding behind the boy, and they were panting from having ran however far the river had taken her, but he kept his distance. There was a mix of emotion on his face, the most prominent being confusion, as he watched Jade shakily sit upright on one arm, the other arm too sore and bleeding from Karkat's claw marks.“Why?” he asked. “Why did you do that? You...y-you...you could have died!”“Because I care about you,” Jade croaked. It felt like there was gravel in her throat, and there probably was. “Both of you. I-” That's as much as she could manage before she fell into another coughing fit. Karkat shook his head and scowled.“Liar! Why would you care about us? You're a human! You kill dragons!”“You hurt my mama,” Terezi whimpered. Her little hand shook as she held onto Karkat's tail, and in her other, the diamond necklace.“N-no, that wasn't me! My grandfather, he gave me that necklace. I didn't know it was real, or that it was your mom.” Jade bowed her head. “I'm so sorry, Terezi...I wasn't trying to trick you, I just wanted to help.”“Why?” Karkat pressed.Jade looked back up, seeing the pain flicker in his eyes. She recognized it all too well, the distrust, the betrayal, the doubt. “Because I know what it's like,” she exhaled slowly, “to be alone. To be betrayed and abandoned by my family.” The dragon boy's eyes widened by a fraction. “That's why I came to this island. I thought that being alone would be better, but then I met you two, and...I guess, if I'd risk my life to keep you from believing the same, then maybe it's not better, after all.”Jade wasn't sure if she was making much sense. She was still very woozy from her near death experience, and also the blood loss. The children stood their ground as the woman pulled herself to her knees enough to tear a piece of her soggy skirt off and applied pressure to her wound, which was thankfully not on a vein, but it was too close for comfort. Karkat eyed the blood warily, looking like he still wanted to argue, but unable to disprove her when proof of her sincerity was dripping down her hand.Terezi was the one who broke the silence, carefully stepping around Karkat. “...You really didn't hurt my mama?”“No, of course not,” Jade assured, “but I still feel so terrible about it. I doubt I could ever make up for what my grandpa has done, but I still want to help you, if you'll let me.”“How?” Karkat asked skeptically.Jade gave him a kind smile. “Come back with me. That way, none of us have to be lonely anymore.” She held her good hand out to him. “I promise.”“How do we know we can trust you?”“You don't,” Jade said truthfully, “but I trust you.”She really did. There was no doubt in her mind now that her grandfather had to be wrong about dragons, among other things. He'd passed everything down to her, so it as only fair that she use it to make everything right.To both of their surprise, it was Terezi who closed the distance. She rushed forward and hugged Jade around her neck, cramming her head under her chin, and Jade gasped, remembering the no-touch rule like a knee-jerk reaction. She supposed there was no point to it anymore, though.“I was hoping that when I met Mama, she'd be like you,” the littlest dragon sniffled. Jade's heart melted at the admission, and she looked to Karkat, seeking his permission before doing anything about this. Karkat's shoulders slumped in begrudging defeat, and Jade took that as an okay, so she wrapped her good arm around the dragon girl and squeezed tight. Jade had been wanting to do this for days.“Thank you,” she whispered into her ear, her eyes watering. None of this was truly Jade's fault, she knew, but she still felt unworthy of this sweet child's forgiveness. “If your mama was anything like me, then she would have been so proud to have such a brave little girl like you.” Terezi held on tighter. Bec licked both of their faces, tail wagging at the end of the standoff. Karkat watched in awe, until he, too, hesitantly came forward.“If you really do care, then you'll have to prove it,” he challenged. Jade chuckled and pulled him into a hug, too, which was met with only minor protest.“Don't worry, I will!”Bec barked in agreement, bouncing happily around the group. It was going to be a long walk back to the cottage, but for the first time since Jade moved to the island, it would finally feel like home.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Your name is DAVE STRIDER and you realized pretty fast that this gig isn't worth the $50 your brother is paying you.You wipe your runny nose on your jacket sleeve, which is about as effective as tissue paper against the drafty chill of the dusty attic you're standing in, and you begrudgingly refocus the camera again after sneezing fucked it up. The quality of this footage is going to be grade A shit, but there isn't much you could do if you're filming in the dark. It's not like you have any expensive night vision stuff, what with you being a broke ass college student, but you have access to your program's rental video equipment, so at least it's slightly better than an iPhone. Dirk will get what he gets and he'll have to deal with it.It's not like Dirk really cares about how the footage turns out, anyway. Your brother is only doing this because it was Jake's idea, and damn, did he go all out just to win some brownie points in the shitty dating sim that is his life.Filming a fake Ghost Adventures episode actually sounded fun to you at first. You and your brother grew up watching the worst paranormal investigation shows and lovingly ragging on them for how dumb and fake they were, and you thought this project would be a silly ironic parody right up there with Buzzfeed Unsolved. The fact that Dirk pulled you aside and asked you to take this seriously is a testament to just how bad he has it for the wannabe archaeologist, and you have to admit, you're impressed he's able to keep a straight face while Jake is excitedly led around by coat hangers shaped like dowsing rods and talks to the walls. If he doesn't find a ghost by the end of the night, then you'll probably become one yourself when you die of second hand embarrassment. Ugh, what does your brother even see in this dweeb?You always wondered how exciting professional ghost hunting really was without all of the sound effects and clever video editing, and now you know. It's boring as fuck and you'd much rather be anywhere other than trespassing in an abandoned house that smells like mold and hobo piss. It's a lot of watching, waiting, and Jake flipping out over absolutely nothing. He was acting so brave when he got here, but he got jumpy as soon as the sun went down, and you don't doubt that was why Dirk wanted to do this all along. You managed to catch it on camera when a stray cat ran in front of them and Jake shrieked and grabbed his arm, and Dirk was smiling like the nefarious bastard he was. At least someone is having fun.You, on the other hand, are having the least amount of fun possible. The thrill of being gay and doing crimes wore off hours ago, you have tripped three times on empty beer bottles so far, and you're getting sick of looking at shitty decaying graffiti while your sinuses beg for the sweet release of death.You contemplate locking Dirk and Jake in a closet until morning to resolve their sexual tension so that you can sneak off and attempt to salvage what remains of a perfectly good Friday night. You could even say the ghost did it. Someone went through the house and removed all of the doorknobs and locks in the building for some reason, though, and Jake is the one with the car keys, so you'll be stuck in this shit hole until he says so.It's a shame the house is in such disrepair, really, because it looks like it was pretty nice back when it was new. According to Jake's research, this place has been abandoned since the 80's after a murder during a home invasion. Or, that was the rumor, anyway. There wasn't a whole lot of official information available about it, just that a kid died here once. They may never know for sure – unless Jake could get some answers from the specter himself.“If you're here, please give us a sign,” Jake called into the silence for what must have been the hundreth time. He was adamant about interviewing every room in the house as if the ghost wouldn't be able to hear him the first ninety-nine times. “If you could, please move something, mess with our torches, or say something into this microphone. We just want to talk to you!”Nothing happens. Jake looks to you to see if you heard anything through your headphones, and you shake your head. Nothing but the sound of your own suffering.“Can you tell us your name? How you died?” Nothing. “Speak to us, what happened to you here?” You've never experienced so much nothing in all your life. “Are you angry? Are you sad?”Just when you were starting to think that Jake might be getting ready to wrap this up soon, a faint thump comes from downstairs. Jake spins around and points his flashlight at the trap door they entered the attic from.“Blimey! Th-that definitely came from the room right below us, I'm sure of it!”You roll your eyes, unable to hide your lack of enthusiasm anymore. “Dude, this house is falling apart and there's animal shit everywhere. It was probably just a raccoon.”“Or, the ghost is trying to tell us something,” Jake said, looking to Dirk with newfound hope. “Right?!”Even Dirk looks like he's at the end of his rope. “Maybe,” he shrugs. “We left a camera in there, didn't we?”“Yes! Let's go review the footage,” Jake decides and heads for the ladder, but he stops short of descending to peer cautiously through the hole with his flashlight, like he thinks there could be a monster lurking below. Dirk sees the hesitation and offers to be the noble sacrifice, which Jake thanks him for with a nervous smile.“I've watched you scale a two hundred foot cliff and grab snakes with your bare hands without batting an eye, but you get freaked out by a little bump in the night?” Dirk teases. Jake rubs the back of his neck.“Yes, well...I suppose I'm a bit more gun shy when it comes to the paranormal, haha...which is why I'm very glad to have you brave chaps with me for this.”“Yeah, well, we've been here awhile and I'm running out of battery. Can we call it a night already?” you suggest, dragging your tired feet after them.The room below you is a bedroom. There's a partially caved-in hole in the ceiling that looks like it was made by a combination of water damage and mouse activity, and it makes you nervous to be on the second floor, not knowing how stable it is. You grab the camera you left recording from the corner and rewind a few minutes to around the time the thump was heard, and the other two lean in over your shoulder to watch, Jake's breath being held in anticipation. Sure enough, there's a fast blur of movement from the ceiling to the floor, which makes him flinch and gasp dramatically. Upon rewinding and playing it back in slow motion, you can see it was just a loose piece of ceiling that fell off to join the pile under the hole, and you even find the exact piece shaped sort of like a star on the floor.“Woah. So spoopy,” you say, unimpressed.Dirk stretches his arms behind hs back and yawns. “I think that's as exciting as it's gonna get, guys. It's about time we call it a night.”“Oh, alright,” Jake relents. “I sure hope we captured something unseen or unheard on the cameras while we were here.”“We'll find out later.” You turn the recording off and follow the others to the hallway. You're fiddling with the menu as you start to descend the stairs, but you pause when you feel a tug on the back of your shirt. You turn around, but you don't see anything. Huh. You don't believe in ghosts, but you've gotta admit, that was kinda weird.“You coming, kid?”You decide not to mention it or Jake might keep you all here another hour. “Yeah, sorry, just thought I forgot someth-”Suddenly, you are very cold. It's like you were dropped into a frozen river and it knocks the wind right out of your lugs. Your muscles lock up, and before you know what's happening, you're falling forward, but you don't feel the pull of gravity so much as the sensation of being weightless. Your vision blurs, everything goes numb, you can't find your voice, and all you can do is watch as you start to fall head first down the stairs.“DAVE!”Lucky for you, you have a brother skilled in the art of flashstep. He catches you before you can crack your head open and you nearly take him down with you, but he manages to get you to the landing in one piece and lowers your limp body to sit on the floor. Jake shines a light in your face and frantically asks if you're alright, his voice sounds muffled like your head is underwater, but you can't move your lips to answer. You feel oddly detached from everything you're seeing, like you're looking through a pane of foggy glass, and it makes you dizzy.“I'm okay,” says your voice, but that was not you who said it. The world shifts as you sit upright and flex your hands in front of you, but you aren't doing that. You try to speak, to say your brother's name, to tell him that something isn't right, but nothing comes out. “Sorry, I, uh, slipped. It surprised me.”“Egad, be careful, old boy!” Jake breathes in relief. “As much as I want to see a ghost tonight, I would rather it not be yours!”“I warned you about those stairs, bro. I told you, dawg,” Dirk says, quoting your webcomic to lighten the mood from your near death experience, which unknown to him, is still currently happening. You're starting to panic, but clearly, it's not showing on your face.“Haha, yeah, my bad,” says your voice. “Let's get out of here.”Dirk helps you to your feet. You can't feel the ground. Your body stumbles a bit like a newborn dear, then walks itself out of the house. You sit in the backseat of Jake's car and you can't feel the rumble of the engine when he turns it on. Dirk and Jake are chatting in the front seat while Dirk puts on some music, completely unaware that you're screaming as loud as you can. An unfamiliar whisper chimes in from inside of your own head.
I'm sorry for this, Dave, but I promise you're going to be fine!
What the actual fuck is happening?!
I have something important I need to do. I just need to borrow your body for a little bit.
Holy shit, WHAT? You struggle to comprehend any of this. Your brain is doing backflips. Who in the name of Obama is in your head, controlling your body, and reading your thoughts?!The whisper chuckles like your terror amuses it. My name is John.Apparently, you are being possessed by a ghost. Said ghost pretends to be you on the ride home, but he mostly stays quiet until you reach your apartment. When he follows Dirk inside, the uninvited guest takes a moment to look around with your eyes as he takes off your shoes. Dirk raises an eyebrow. Striders don't normally care about wearing shoes in the house, but he's too tired to question it. You really wish he would.“Thanks for your help tonight, little man,” your brother says and gives your hair an affectionate tousle. This is when you would normally slap his hand away and tell him not to touch your hair, you asshole (the brotherly way of saying 'you're welcome') but the one possessing your body doesn't know that, and instead gives him a big bright smile.“You're welcome, uh, Bro!”Dirk's other eyebrow goes up to join the first. “You sure you're okay? You seem kinda...off. You didn't hit your head on anything when you fell, did you?”“No, of course not! I feel fine,” John assures. “It's way past my bed time, though, so I'm gonna hit the hay. Have a goodnight!”Dirk stares as you walk into the wrong bedroom. Jesus christ, this is hard to watch. John realizes his mistake and quickly corrects himself, giving Dirk an innocent wave as he slips into the correct room down the hall, and he stops after shutting the door to get a good look at his surroundings.“Woah, Dave, you've got some really cool stuff!”John can hear you protesting as he guides your body around to investigate everything, but he ignores you and picks things up willy-nilly. Your room might look like a mess of strewn about cables, CDs, vinyls, swords, and piles of clothes, but you actually have a perfectly organized system going on in here and you don't appreciate him messing it up!“Hey, what are these? Dead animals?” he picks up a jar with an embalmed crow in it and shakes it. “Ugh, gross! You're not some kind of freak, are you?”Says the dead guy who's using your body like a meat puppet.“Touché.”You want him to stop and explain himself, but he's having too much fun touching things and dropping them on the floor like it's a game. He giggles every time he does it, and eventually, he drops you onto your bed and rolls around, barely containing his giddy laughter. It sounds so strange coming from your own mouth.“This feels so good! I almost forgot what it's like to be alive. It's so warm, and I can feel everything!”He better not get used to it. You're gonna find a way to exorcise this fucker the first chance you get.“Relax, I won't be here long,” John says. He crosses your arms under your head and closes your eyes, taking a deep content breath. “As soon as I find who I'm looking for, then you'll get your body back.”Is he looking for his murderer? Does he want to get revenge? You're not about to let him use your hands to hurt someone!“Nah, nothing like that. I just need to find my dad. Joseph Egbert.”Oh. What will he do when he finds him?“Talk to him,” John replies. “Tell him I'm sorry, and...that it's not his fault.”Sadness leaks into your voice, and your anger starts to ebb a little. He might be a creepy ghost, but it's hard to stay mad when he says something like that. Say sorry for what?John doesn't answer that question, pretending like he didn't hear it. You guess he'd rather keep that between him and his dad. “So, Dave, will you help me?”Goddammit, it's not like you have a choice. Is he going to be possessing your body the entire time, though? You're not sure how much more of this you can take.“If I leave your body, I'll end up right back in my house again. My soul is tied to the place I died, and I can only leave if I hitch a ride with someone else's.”Why yours, though? Why now? After all this time, surely he could have possessed any number of trespassing teens or squatters that have been in that house before you.“I can't possess just anyone,” John says like that's something you should have known already. Does it look like you have a degree in fucking ecto-biology? “Souls have to match up for it to work. It's like...our souls are music, and ours happen to be in perfect harmony. It's kind of a miracle someone like you showed up when you did, and I can't count on it happening again any time soon, so I have to make it count!”Great. You aren't excited about the prospect of being possessed, but you guess it could be worse. If all he wants is to talk to his dad, then fine. It can't be too hard to find him, right? Turns out it's very hard to find him. Not only is it half impossible to direct John on how to use a modern computer, but Joseph Egbert isn't on Facebook, and that's about as far as your sleuthing skills go. John suggests looking him up in the phone book, to which you tell him you don't have a fucking phone book or even know where to find one.“Library?”You don't know where the library is. You're not even sure if there is one nearby.“Seriously?! Wow, the future kinda sucks.”Excuse you, nerd, the future is awesome! You don't need books when you have the internet at your fingertips.“You're calling me a nerd when you're the one with a computer?” John snorts. “Though I gotta admit, this thing is kinda rad. If you're rich enough to have this thing, then why do you live in an apartment?”You smugly inform John that literally everyone on Earth has at least ten computers each nowadays, they're a million times more powerful than the dinky calculators that put a man on the moon, and some can fit inside of a pocket. He doesn't believe you.“And yet your super rad computer and fancy internet network thing can't tell me where my dad is?”No, Facebook can't tell you where his dad is. The internet is way bigger than just Facebook, dude, which is kind of the problem. It's too big and you don't know where to start.But you might know someone who would.You instruct John to open Pesterchum, click on the purple text that says TentacleTherapist, and type out a message to your cousin to seek her help. Rose is smart, she'll know what to do! It's agony watching John slowly chicken-peck the keyboard, but thankfully, Rose's replies are fast. -- TurntechGodhead [TG] began pestering TentacleTherapist [TT] -- TG: hi! i need your help with something!TT: Hello, Dave.TT: You're up rather early. Isn't it just past three in the morning where you are?TT: Or is this part of another “extended evening” of yours?TG: sorry to bug you, but there's a person i'm trying to find but i don't know where to start. he's not on the face book and i don't have a phone book for some stupid reason. what should i do?TT: ...TT: Who is this? It's kind of sad that your cousin on the other side of the country figured it out faster than your own brother did, even though you live with the guy and haven't seen Rose in person since you were kids. You guess this means your online brand is pretty solid. TG: it's me, dave! your beloved cousin whom you love very much!TT: ...Right.TT: Is Dirk testing a new AI again? Did he try to make you your own autoresponder? Because I think it needs some tweaking.TG: no! i'm dave!TT: You're using punctuation and you aren't speaking in terrible metaphors.TT: You are definitely not Dave. Jesus fuck, just tell her the truth! Rose is too smart for her own good, and she's into this kind of paranormal occult shit, so she can probably handle it. TG: okay haha fine you got meTG: i'm not dave.TT: Who are you? And where is Dave?TG: dave is here. he says i can tell you what's going on but i'm not so sure if that's a good idea? please don't freak out!TT: Er...TT: Okay?TT: Should I be worried?TT: I mean, more so than usual, anyway.TG: my name is john and i'm a ghost, and i'm possessing dave's body right now.TG: and he says that was rude.TT: …TT: Suuure.TG: we're trying to find out where my dad is so i can talk to him and move on, and then dave can have his body back.TG: he says you can helpTT: I can certainly try.TT: As amusing as this scenario is, I want to be certain about one thing before I play along: is Dave okay?TG: he's really annoyed because i type slow, but other than that, he's fine. i'm not going to hurt him, i promise!TT: I will need some proof. If he's really there and okay with whatever is going on right now, then he will share with us what happened at the mall when he visited us at Christmas sixteen years ago. Nevermind. Going to Rose was a TERRIBLE idea. TG: he says he accidentally grabbed a mall santa's junk.TG: haha seriously? that's hilarious! You were four years old and Dirk told you that's where Santa keeps his 'secret package.' Fuck you. TT: Alright, I believe you.TT: So, John, who are you trying to find? John gives Rose all of the information he has on his dad. Name, date of birth, where he worked, where they lived, etc. He was an orphan with no other living family, and he seemed like a bit of a loner, so she started asking for information on John, too, but John didn't seem to want to talk about himself that much. He especially didn't want to talk about how he died. Understandable, since getting murdered is no doubt traumatic for anyone. You can't help but be morbidly curious, though.Rose sets off to play private investigator for you around the time the sun starts to rise. She says she'll message you if she finds something, so you give up trying to teach John how to navigate the computer and leave her to it. That gives you and your parasite not much to do, though, and you are helpless as he continues to rifle through your things, if only for the sake of making a mess. Why the hell is he doing that?“Haha, sorry, it's just that it feels so great to be back. I couldn't touch or interact with anything when I was a ghost, like I didn't exist. It was driving me crazy!” John tosses a half empty bottle of apple juice at the wall and the loud thud sends him into a fit of joyful laughter. “This is so much fun!”There has to be something else he can do for fun that doesn't break your stuff or piss off your neighbors. Thank goodness Dirk sleeps with headphones on or you'd have him to deal with him, too. As if on cue, the sound of your stomach whining interrupts John's fun. You can't feel the hunger, but he does, and he gets even more excited.“Oh my god, yes! Food!”Your feet take you to the kitchen, where he starts rooting through your pantry and fridge, taking a big bite out of anything he can get your hands on. He moans like a filthy pornstar as he does it, but he's using your voice so it's extra disturbing, and you try not to think about how gross it is to watch yourself squirt straight up mustard into your mouth. At least you can't taste it.Dude, chill the fuck out! That's YOUR body he's dumping calories into! Have some self control!“Shut up and let me enjoy this. I haven't tasted anything in almost 40 years.”John ignores you and continues his feeding frenzy until he finds something in the back of the cupboard that makes him squeal. You didn't even know you could make a sound as high pitched as that, and you never want to hear it again.“Holy shit! They still make Lucky Charms!” He pulls out a box of cereal that's been back there for who even knows how long. There's still a little left in the bottom, which John doesn't hesitate to pour directly into your mouth, and even though it's probably stale as fuck and mostly dust, he savors it like it's caviar.You're about to comment that it probably isn't even made the same way anymore when something happens. Your kitchen dissolves before your eyes, and suddenly, you're in a different kitchen entirely.……………
It's way bigger than yours, with real linoleum, and though you've never seen this place before, the pattern seems kind of familiar to you.
Isn't this the ghost house? It looks brand new, though. The counter tops are white and clean, there's a giant spice rack cabinet against the wall, the fridge and other appliances look like antiques, and there's a tiny boxy rabbit ear TV playing an old Scooby Doo cartoon facing a small dining table meant for two.
You are sitting at the table, and in front of you is a bowl of sugary marshmallow cereal, which you're munching on while watching the cartoon. There is a man in the kitchen with you. Middle aged, tall, wearing a long sleeve button-up shirt tucked into business slacks, a white hat on his head, and a tobacco pipe in his mouth. He comes forward with a fond smile in his eyes and a carton of milk, and he pours some into your bowl of dry cereal, to which you (no, that's not you, those hands are too small and not pale enough to be yours) groan and tell him you don't want any.
“You need to drink your milk, John. It'll make you big and strong.” the man says. His voice is deep and gentle, but pointedly authoritative.
You are apparently JOHN EGBERT, and you whine about how gross it tastes. The man assures you that it will taste good when you eat it with your cereal. You don't seem convinced, but you don't argue. You go back to watching cartoons while the man sits down in the chair beside you to drink from his steaming mug that says #1 Dad on the side. You can smell the coffee. You can taste the colorful marshmallows. You can feel the warmth of home.
“It's gotta be the gardener!” You exclaim confidently and point to the lizard monster chasing Scooby and Shaggy around on the TV. Dad hums into his drink and sets it down thoughtfully.“I'm not so sure about that. I think it's the cook,” he replies. You scoff, but sure enough, after a montage of silly chase hijinks, the monster falls into Fred's trap and Velma pulls off the mask, revealing a miffed older woman in a stained apron. You gasp in amazement.“Woah! How do you always know who it is?!”“Magic,” Dad winks. “Want me to tell you the secret?” You nod vigorously. “I will if you drink your milk.”“Aw, man!”……………You can hear John's dad laugh as your vision blurs again, and suddenly, you're back to being DAVE STRIDER. You're sitting at a much more familiar kitchen table now, which is cluttered with magazines and pieces of robot junk that your brother left laying around, and the box of Lucky Charms is being hugged tightly to your chest.“He used to leave breakfast out for me...every day before school,” John says quietly. “I wonder if he still would...”Why wouldn't he?Once again, John doesn't answer your question, and you don't have the heart to push him when he's on the verge of crying like this. His mood swing gives you whiplash, and he might be a body stealing specter, but that episode reminds you that he's still human, too. You guess your souls really are synced or whatever if you're seeing his memories. Crap, does that mean he can see your memories, too?“No, not unless you want me to,” John assures, rubbing your face with your arm. You're relieved that he's not peeking into your mind diary. There's some shit in there you don't think he'd want to see. “Sorry about that, I couldn't stop myself.”It's okay. You hope he's able to see his dad soon, and not just for your sake. It looked like they were pretty close.“Yeah...” John takes a moment to breathe and calm down. “What about you? You seem pretty close to your family, too.”Only your brother, who moved out the second he turned 18 and took you with him. Technically, in the eyes of the law, Dirk kidnapped you, but also in the eyes of any sane person, your father is an abusive bastard who shouldn't have been allowed to have custody. The two of you absconded from Texas to get away from him, and you've been laying low trying to get your lives together ever since.“Oh...sorry.”It's alright. Shit's in the past now. Your prodigy bro has a bright future in robotic science and you just got your GDD and started in college to become a cinematographer, so things are looking up. You even have a boyf--Uh...Friend. A really, really good friend.“That's good,” John says with a little smile. “You deserve it, after going through something like that.”Thanks, man. John deserves better, too. How old was he when he died, anyway?“Seventeen.”Fuck. That's rough. He was only a year younger than you are now. Wait, does that make him still seventeen, or, like, sixty?“I'm pretty sure I'm still seventeen.”You don't know what's worse: dying at seventeen, or being stuck in the tail end of puberty for forty years. John laughs at that, and you're glad you were able to lift his spirits. (Pun intended.) You can't have him crying with your face, after all. Striders don't cry.John announces that he wants to take a walk, and you think that might be a good idea. Someone's gotta burn off all that crap he just ate and it isn't going to be you. Watching yourself move around and do stuff without your input is still a freaky experience, but you think you're starting to tolerate it. It helps that you've gotten to know John better and that he isn't some demonic paranormal activity-type ghost. He's weird, but a nice enough guy. You guess it wouldn't hurt to let him take the reigns for a bit, and he perks up when he recognizes the part of town he's in.“Oh! This place used to be a Skaia Mart!” he says out loud and points to a grocery store, to the confusion of the unaware pedestrians around him. “I worked there part-time one summer. The manager was this girl named Vriska – I think she was into me, hehe.”John shares little mundane facts about his life like this until he comes to a block that you yourself are incredibly familiar with, for reasons you intentionally keep to yourself. John can read your thoughts, so you try not to think about it, until he looks up and his eyes go wide. “The Prospit Cafe is still around? Sweet!”He begins to walk towards the shop that only just opened for the day, and your panic rises. Uh oh. No, no John, don't go in there! Do not pass go! Do not collect $500 dollars! Abort! ABOR-Ding goes the bell that welcomes you into the quaint local coffee shop, followed immediately by your name shouted over the sound of a whirring coffee grinder. It's too late. You're boned.“WELL, WELL, WELL, IF IT ISN'T DAVE FUCKING STRIDER! WHAT THE HELL DRAGGED YOU OUT OF BED AT THIS UNGODLY HOUR? I DIDN'T EVEN THINK YOU EXISTED ON A PHYSICAL PLANE BEFORE 10AM, AND ON A SATURDAY, NO LESS!”Your body stops in the doorway. You're so glad you made John put on your shades before leaving the apartment so that Karkat can't see the confusion all over your face. Of all people to run into while you're having your out-of-body experience, it just had to be him, didn't it?The redheaded barista turns the grinder off, letting the faint smooth jazz and quiet conversation of the cafe's other patrons filter back into the air, and John doesn't seem to know how to respond after being unexpectedly yelled at by an employee the second he stepped foot inside. You warn John to play it cool and not to make a fool of himself in front of Karkat or you'll turn him into ecto-slime.“U-uh...hey! Um, Karkat!” he starts. Great, he's already fucking it up with how big and fake his smile is. You don't smile like that, cut that shit out. “I was just, you know, in the neighborhood.”Karkat stops what he's doing and leans his elbows on the counter to give you his full attention. For once in your life, you wish he wouldn't. “Jesus, you look like shit. Don't tell me you haven't sleep at all. How'd filming go?”“It was good,” John replies quickly. “Great. Awesome.”“That bad, huh?” Karkat knowingly smirks at you, and if you could feel your stomach, it would have flipped. “I told you it was a stupid idea. Must have sucked ass playing third wheel to the Nutty Professor and Indiana Jones all damn night.”John flicks your eyes around the room to gauge the reaction of the other patrons. Nobody bats an eye to Karkat's casual swearing. They're all regulars and they're used to it by now. Some, like you, actually consider it a feature. “Heh, yeah. Um, I was just stopping in real quick to say hi, so-”“Oh please,” Karkat rolls his eyes and swipes a grande sized cup off the stack next to him. “You're so full of shit, Strider, you fertilize entire cornfields every time you open your mouth. We both know why you came here and it's not just to see my pretty face.”The barista scribbles something onto the cup and brings it to his station where he starts doing his thing. John just stands there, getting whiplash from Karkat's winning hot-then-cold personality, and he has to move out of the way when a few more customers come in to line up.
Are you two friends, or does he hate you?
Depends on the day, honestly.“I'm starting to suspect you only like me for the free coffee,” Karkat says. If you were in control of your body, you would have sarcastically shot back with, 'Not like anyone comes here for the service.' Instead, John flounders and shakes your head.“What? No, of course not! I didn't even ask for any-”“Too bad. It's not like I can let you leave here without it after the night you've had. Hell, you probably need a IV drip of pure caffeine hooked directly into your bloodstream by now.”You can't believe what you are seeing. Karkat Vantas, bless his angry little heart, is taking pity on you. The planets have aligned and he's in a rare good mood today, but it's not even you who gets to enjoy it! Ugh, this is so unfair!He finishes making your favorite drink by memory, a hot caramel macchiato with a shot of vanilla syrup and sprinkle of cinnamon on top, and he hands it to John over the pick-up counter. He does it in a sly way that makes John have to lean in to reach it, and just as the hot drink comes into contact with your hands, Karkat seals the transaction with a quick kiss, right on the goddamn lips.He has real customers to attend to so he doesn't stay long after that, just enough to say, “Now fuck off and get some rest, babe.” John stands there gaping like a dumbass, and you sigh, knowing it's about to be a shit storm in 5, 4, 3, 2...
Dave.
Dave, what the FUCK?!
If he's going to throw a fit, then he better go do it outside.Thankfully, he takes your advice, practically sprinting out of the coffee shop and into the nearest parking lot where he can have his mental breakdown in peace.“What the hell was that?! Why did he – how could he just-”That was your boyfriend.Yup, he heard you right: you have a boyfriend, and he's a damn good one, too. Congratulations! John is currently possessing the body of a flaming unapologetic homosexual! You are the gaylord! It is you! And if his Gen X ass has a problem with that, then tough shit! It's 2019, motherfucker! The only thing you're sorry for is that he got a kiss from Karkat and he didn't even have to work for it.John doesn't react the way you thought he would, though. He goes deathly quiet, fingers trembling on the coffee in your hands and back leaning heavily against the door of someone's parked SUV, like it's the only thing keeping him standing.John?The ghost says nothing.Well, if he's that upset about it, then even more reason to find his dad quick, before he catches the gay, too.John slides down the car and sits on the pavement. You can hear him breathing fast. Is he having a panic attack?“Dave...is that normal?” he asks. Your voice hasn't sounded so small and scared since you were a child. “To do that...to kiss like that, another guy...right there in public? In broad daylight?”Uh. Yes and no. Maybe not normal, but accepted? More accepted than it was in the 80's, anyway. Why, does he have a problem with that?John carefully sets the drink down beside him and curls up into a ball. You think this reaction to being kissed by a dude is pretty overkill, until you're not in the parking lot anymore.……………
You're in a public bathroom. It's a narrow stall in the corner where the light is dimmest,and you're cramming yourself as hard as you can against the cold tiled wall. Your heart is pounding so hard that you feel like your head is going to explode, but the violent pounding on the door in front of you is louder.
“Come out, faggot! We know you're in there!”
You are JOHN EGBERT, and you can see four sets of feet stalking right outside the stall. The walls shudder with the force of their kicks and punches.
“Don't think I didn't see you looking at me! You like what you see, huh? You think you can just eye me up like I'm your little bitch?! I'll fucking kill you, you queer!”
You desperately look around, but there's nothing here that can help you. The lock doesn't look like it'll last much longer, either. They're trying to grab you from under the stall. You desperately stand up on the toilet seat to avoid their hands.
“Or do you wanna be the girl, is that it? I'll fucking make you a girl,” someone says. Two of them laugh. You're going to throw up.“Hey! You boys knock it off! Get out of here, you can't do this shit at school!” The assault stops when the voice of an older man interrupts them. The boys groan, they try to explain themselves, they say you were asking for it, but they're sternly sent away. The room goes quiet. Shiny black dress shoes clack against the ground as they approach your stall. “You can come out now, John.”
The voice is even and low. Your shaking hand unlatches the lock, and when the door opens, you see you're in a locker room, and a bald middle aged man with a faint scar on his cheek stands in front of you with a deep frown.
“Th-thanks, Mr. Noir,” John's voice cracks. The man shakes his head and steps aside for you to come out. Your limbs are stiff, like they're full of concrete.“I wish you'd do this outside of school,” the man grumbles. “Then it wouldn't be my damn problem.”
You put your head down and walk. His gaze lingers like the point of a knife on your back.
……………...Oh, John...When you go back to being DAVE STRIDER, you find you haven't moved an inch. John is definitely having a panic attack, and fuck, after a memory like that, you might just have one, too.You tell him to breathe. Just...breathe. In and out. Everything is alright, that's not going to happen again, or ever again, you promise! Things are different now. You've been kissing Karkat in public for the better part of three months and nobody has lynched you for it. Nobody gives a shit, especially around here. Washington is liberal as fuck!Your encouragements don't seem to be helping. In fact, you're only making it worse. If John squeezes himself any harder, he's going to collapse into a singularity, and then you'll never get your body back.Another memory flickers over your eyes. This one is nothing more than a single image and a heavy feeling.……………
A dark room. A chair. A rope in your hand.
Alone.
……………Jesus fucking christ.Okay, you get it now. This is some really heavy shit and you were not prepared for it. Neither was he.“I-I thought,” John chokes, “I th-thought...I'd be better off dead...” You wish you knew what to say. All you can think of is how fucking sorry you are. “I thought nothing was worse than n-not knowing...it only ever got worse...but if I'd just – if I hadn't...maybe it would have been....god, I'm so fucking stupid!”No, John wasn't stupid! He was scared! He was in pain! He was alone! None of that should have happened, and he didn't deserve to blame himself for it! Yeah, maybe he did give up, but he did his damn best in a shitty situation, and none of what drove him there was his fault!John doesn't believe you.You try to think of something, anything, that could convince him that you know what you're talking about. He's wrong and he just needs to see it. You actually relate to this better than he realizes, you have to show him that you understand.So you do.……………
Your name is DAVE STRIDER, you're 15 years old, and you're alone on a rooftop.
Below you, a ten story drop to the burning pavement under the unrelenting Texas sun. You can feel it searing your albino skin, cooking your exposed arms and legs like the tar of the blacktop, but they're already too colored with bruises for it to matter.
You're not even sure how you got here. You were just kinda wandering around in boredom and you found yourself by the edge, and now you can't leave. Usually you're afraid of heights, but somehow it's not so scary today.
You know you should go back inside before your father gets home, but what if...you didn't? It's so hard having to go back there. You know what awaits you. It feels like it would be easier to stay, to sit on this ledge for the rest of the day and...wait. Who knows what could happen. Maybe it could be good.
There's also a chance it could be bad. You don't know, but you like the odds. At least this way there's a chance.
The metal door behind you creaks open. Your fingers dig into the concrete, your guts twisting painfully in anticipation, until you hear your brother's voice. “Dave?”
It's just Dirk. You relax again. “Go away.”
Dirk doesn't go away. His shoes crunch through the gravel on his way to you and you don't know what to expect, but it isn't what he does. Your big brother sits down next to you and also dangles his legs over the edge. He's got more bruises than you. Some of them should be yours.
“Wanna talk?” No. You shouldn't talk. Dad will find out. “Yeah, but what's Dad gonna do about it? Beat your ass again? That's all he ever does. What a broken record, amiright?”
Your brother makes it sound so easy. He's good at that.
“Besides, I think he'll be a lot more pissed at me when he finds out I applied for University.”That manages to pry your eyes off the ground. “You did what?”
Dirk grins. He holds up a piece of paper with a gold seal stamped on it.
“I got in, too. Full ride.”
You stare at him through your shades. He stares back at you through his.
You try to punch him in the jaw, but he catches your fist almost effortlessly.
“What the hell, little bro? That's no way to congratulate me.”“Fuck you,” you seethe. “Is that it, then? You're just gonna leave?!”“Duh. I'm not staying in this hellhole for the rest of my life, thank you very much. I turn eighteen next week so I'll be free to do whatever I want and Dad can't do shit about it.”“Great. Awesome. I'm so fucking happy for you. Send me a postcard, won't ya?” The smile hasn't left Dirk's face, like he has no idea what you're so upset about. Like he doesn't even fucking care that he's all you have.“Won't need to,” he shrugs and lets go of your fist, “'cause you're coming with me.”“What?”“Clear your ears out, little bro, I said YOU'RE COMING WITH ME!” Dirk shouts loud enough to echo off the surrounding buildings, and suddenly your head is under his arm and he's giving you the noogie to end all noogies. You try to fight him off, but he's bigger and stronger than you. He always has been. “You really think I'd just leave you here to fend for yourself, you dumbass? You wouldn't last a day without me.” He's not wrong about that. You surrender and give up struggling so that Dirk will let you go, and he does, but he keeps his hand resting on your head. “So, what do ya say, kiddo? Wanna tag along?”
Every cell in your body screams to say yes. “I...I can't. Dad's never gonna let me-”
“I didn't ask what Dad wants, did I?” Dirk cuts you off. “I asked what you want. Is it a yes or a no?”“Yes, but-”“Cool, then let's make it happen.” Your brother swings his legs back to solid ground and stands up. His confidence shines about as bright as the glare from his shades. “Leave everything to me, I've got it all planed out. We leave in a week. Don't tell anyone, not even Rose, got it? If we play this right, Dad won't realize we're gone until we're already on the plane, and he won't even know where we went.”“...Are you serious?” you ask, a potent mix of excitement, hope, and fear churning in your stomach. “Can we really do that?”“Why not?”
He makes it sound so easy.
Dirk offers his hand to help you down from the the ledge. Who knows what could happen if you take it. Something good, maybe something bad.
You don't know, but you like the odds.
……………The only reason you're here right now is because you had someone there to pull you away from the edge. Nothing less than that would have stopped you. You look back on that day and you don't even feel like that was really you on that ledge. In fact, it kinda feels like how you feel now, not in control of your own actions, removed from reality and stuck in another world that's so cold and dark that you can't feel anything else, forced to watch your life play out through tunnel vision. That wasn't you who dangled yourself over that edge.That wasn't John who was holding that rope.“B-but...” John sniffed, raising his head from his arms a little bit, “there's no one else to blame but me...”Maybe so, but that wasn't why John was dead. Someone should have been there for him.“Dad was there. He was always there. But...” John shakes your head. “I wouldn't let him...I couldn't. He's the only one who...but...if he knew, I didn't think he'd still...”There's only one way to find out. John has to find him and ask.“But what if I don't want to know?”Then why is he still here?John takes a deep shaky breath in and lets it out slow. You wait for him, giving him all the time he needs, and eventually, your hand moves to pick up the coffee at his side. You can read the message scribbled on the side now. It's Karkat's cute pet name for you in his chicken scratch handwriting, 'FUCKASS,' punctuated with a little heart. The drink has cooled down enough to drink, and John does, taking small sips and closing your eyes to savor it. You know for a fact that Karkat made that drink with love, and you're glad John gets to taste. He needs it more than anyone else in the world right now.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
-- TurntechGodhead [TG] began pestering TentacleTherapist [TT] -- TG: hi rose! any luck yet?TT: Unfortunately, luck hasn't been on my side.TT: Joseph Egbert seemed to have lived a very private life. All I've managed to find is an old scanned record of his involvement in the annual Maple Valley fair, and I'm not even sure it's the right person.TT: He appears to have won first place in a baking competition.TG: no, that's definitely him! my dad loves to bake. he made so many cakes that i got sick of them.TT: Good to know.TT: I know this is a time sensitive issue, but I will have to pick up the search again tomorrow. My mother is coming over for dinner tonight, and if I cancel on her again, I will likely join you in the afterlife.TT: I sent you a transcript of my work so far through Dropbox in case you want to try picking up where I left off. Perhaps you can check Maple Valley's town hall to see when he moved and if he left a forwarding address.TT: Their records from that long ago haven't been fully digitized and going through them from New York would be difficult. It's a job better suited for someone with a physical body present.TG: you're in new york?!TT: Yes.TG: wooahhh!!TG: you're so far away and yet i'm getting your messages instantly!TT: After many years of advancement, the wonders of modern technology have made it possible to simulate back and forth conversation through instant text messaging.TT: All so that we don't have to go through the painstaking process of making a simple phone call.TG: that's so cool!TG: and kinda dumb?TT: Indeed.TT: I'm going to get dinner started now, so I will talk to you later. I hope Dave is doing okay.TG: yeah, he's fine. he's being a really good sport about this whole thing, actually!TT: He has probably realized that this is the closest he will ever come to having another man inside of him. I'm very happy for you, Dave. That quip throws John off and he takes his hands off the keyboard. It's fine, you assure him. She's just kidding. Rose has always lovingly picked on you for being a gay virgin loser, and not even getting a boyfriend has stopped her. You've gotta admit, that one was pretty funny. TT: Oops, sorry, I didn't mean to out him like that.TG: no, it's okay! i already know. i met his boyfriend today, he seems...nice?TT: Oh. Good.TT: I'm glad you're okay with it.TG: yeah, i'm fine. dave's not, though.TT: Why's that?TG: he's a little peeved because his boyfriend kissed me.TT: Oh???TT: Do tell. John is laughing. You are helpless while he gives Rose all kinds of blackmail material. Goddamnit, she doesn't need to know that you got cucked by a ghost!“What does 'cucked' mean?”Like you're going to tell him. TG: hey rose, what does the word “cucked” mean?TT: This is fantastic.TT: I might have to cancel my dinner plans after all. John might be dead, but once you get your body back, you're going to make him double-dead.When those two are finally done humiliating you, John goes back to messing up your room some more. It's too late in the day to go to Town Hall, so you spend the time letting John go through your vinyl collection and he finds a Queen album that he hasn't heard before. Sometime during the song Hijack my Heart, Dirk comes home and announces he brought pizza, because someone ate everything else in the apartment this morning. You're relieved that your poor stomach will be getting at least one real meal today and not just whatever random junk Egbert finds stashed away in your room out of old habit.However, this means he'll have to talk to Dirk, and you aren't excited to see how this interaction goes.“How's it going, kiddo? Find anything spooky yet?” Dirk asks while you stand in the kitchen and John wolfs down pizza like a starved gremlin. Right, you were supposed to be going through the footage today.“Nope,” John lies. “Nothing yet. Sorry.”“Eh, kinda figured,” he shrugs and pops open a beer, handing it over to you, which makes John pause. “Jake still wants to make an episode out of it, though. Maybe you can, like, enhance it a bit?”
Dave, aren't you eighteen? Did the law change?
No, but neither of you give a shit about the legal drinking age. It's just beer. Take the damn beer and live a little, John.John takes the beer. Dirk notices the hesitation. “Everything okay?”“Yeah, everything's fine! Uh, I mean,” John clears his throat and tries to copy your usual monotone. “Everything's cool. Just think I might have...caught something, last night.”“Not surprised. That place was gross. I thought about getting a tetanus shot when we left, just to be safe.”John hums in agreement and eyes the bottle. It's just a Mike's Hard Lemonde, wimp. John takes a sip and goes back to eating. It's quiet for a minute, and then Dirk says,“Jake broke up with Jane today.”“Oh...uh, that's too bad.”“Like hell. The writing's been on the wall for months. Jake's single again, which means I've finally got a chance.”
Does he?
Yeah, but your bro is a huge coward. Jake and Jane are always on-again-off-again, and every time they break up, Dirk talks big about how 'this is his chance,' and then he proceeds to not do anything about it. You're stuck in a perpetual time loop of watching him make up complex shenanigans on how he's going to woo the man, only to chicken out at the last minute, and then quietly brood while he watches his crush suck on someone else's face. He even knows that Jake is bi and he still won't make a move. It's pathetic.“Halloween's in a month and Roxy is throwing a party. She always spikes the punch, so I figure if I go as a Na'vi, then my odds of success should go up by at least 36%.”He's going to wait a whole fucking month? Goddammit, Dirk, he'll be back together with Jane by then!“Just do it now,” John suggests.“What, paint myself blue?”“Uh, no. Ask him out.”“Dude, no way, it's too soon. He just broke up with Jane this morning, he's gonna need some time to-”“No. Do it now.” John gives Dirk the most serious face you have. “Before it's too late.”“Woah, chill. It's not like the world is ending or whatever.”“It could. Who knows what could happen! A meteor could destroy the Earth tomorrow, and do you really want to be stuck floating through space for all eternity wondering what could have been? There's no time like the present, Dirk! Do it or you'll regret it.”Dirk scoffs. “Is that, like, a threat?”“It's a promise.”Your brother searches your face for any hint of irony, but is surprised when he doesn't find any for once. He leans on the counter, half a slice of pizza in his hands, and actually seems to be considering it.“You really think he'd go for me? Just like that?”“I think you're wasting a lot of time wondering about it when you could be finding out.”Dirk mulls it over while he chews. You've tried convincing him to make a move before, but the way John puts it actually seems to be sinking in. If he manages to get your brother laid, you're going to be impressed.“...Maybe I'll hit him up tonight. Maybe...butter him up with a movie first, then take him to-”“Dirk.”“Okay, okay, fuck, fine.” Dirk stuffs pizza in his face and points an accusing finger. “You've been hanging out with Karkat too much. He's got you thinking you're some kinda love guru, too.”“Well, I am the one with a boyfriend,” John shrugs smugly. No, he's not. “You could learn a thing or two from the master.”Dirk laughs. You groan. “Never thought I'd live to see the day that I was the one getting schooled. I'm so proud, you little shit.”……………“I'm proud of you, son.”……………“Uh...Dave?”Your arms are around your brother and your chin is pressed into his shoulder. John is hugging him, and you always thought you and your bro were too macho for this kind of touchy-feely crap, but his arms come down to carefully hug you back. You can't feel it, but you're surprised by how much you kinda wish you could.“Thanks, Bro,” John says after an awkward (but sorta nice) moment of tender loving embrace, and when he lets go, he swipes the last piece of pizza from the box and quickly absconds to your room. Dirk is left standing there wondering what the hell that was about.Well, damn. John has been you for less than 24 hours and he's already kissed Karkat on the mouth and got your bro to hug you. Fuck, he's making you look bad.Later that night, all of John's abuse on your stomach throughout the day finally catches up with him, and he spends a solid hour puking up your guts. Turns out that five slices of pizza don't mix well on top of sugary coffee, four slices of bread, an entire box of Gushers, half a jar of peanut butter, (John was especially enthusiastic about that one since he'd been allergic to peanuts in his other body) plain mustard, barbecue chips, a whole brick of sharp cheddar cheese, leftover spaghetti, an apple, and expired cereal. You're pretty sure there are some colors in that toilet that have only ever been seen by the eyes of a mantis shrimp.After the vomit-fest, he drags your sleep deprived body back to your room and promptly passes the fuck out, where he remains in a coma for the next 12 hours. You don't get the messages Rose left you until he wakes up and checks your phone in the morning. -- TentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering TurntechGodhead [TG] -- TT: Alright, I will admit that I didn't really believe the whole ghost business at first.TT: I thought this was part of some extremely elaborate joke, or something so ironic that my non-Strider mind doesn't have the mental fortitude to wade through.TT: I was going along with it because it was interesting, but tonight at dinner, the weirdest thing happened that I can't explain.TT: When I mentioned it to my mom, she revealed that she knew Joseph Egbert.TT: It turns out he worked for her in the late 90's, and they had a steamy office romance for a short time before he left the company due to health reasons. Mom says I even met him when I was two years old.TT: Crazy, right?TT: I highly doubt you could convince my mother to be in on this, or that you would have known about her secret affair, so I guess you really are being possessed by a ghost?TT: However, I have some bad news.TT: Mom was able to give me a good lead on where Joseph Egbert went, and I found his current whereabouts, but...TT: I don't know how to tell you this...TT: Your father passed away five years ago.TT: I'm so sorry, John.Red leaves crunch under your feet as John travels the gravel path through the rows of tombstones. It was a long bus ride to this cemetery, which was spent in complete silence, and now that you're here, every step feels too loud.The trees are slowly staining the green grass with reds and oranges that remind you of a sunset. Some graves are swept clean and have flowers at them, others are almost completely covered, forgotten in the back of the cemetery where the autumn breeze seems to end. That's where you find the name John has been looking for, and when your eyes find it, he can't take them away.
Joseph Egbert
1946-2014
A soul that walks in kindness will forever sleep in peace.
He stands there for a few still minutes before he comes forward to brush away the pine needles. Your vision is going blurry. John sinks to your knees, your hands dig into the grass at your side, and he screams. All you can do is listen to his painful wails and watch as he kneels in mourning.Joseph was 68 years old when he died. Heart attack. He spent the last years of his life volunteering at shelters for troubled youth. He never remarried. He never had any other kids. He was an orphan, so he had no living family to bury him. His funeral was paid for and arranged by an unknown benefactor. He moved away from Maple Valley after the death of his son, but when he died, he was brought back here to be buried next to him.“Dad...D-Dad, I'm so sorry,” John sobs. Your fingers grip the grass below you so hard that it tears. “What I did to you – I couldn't – I should have...I sh-should have told you...”John's memories are flickering like a dying light before you. You see flashes of so many things at once.……………
Dad is holding your hand as you walk through a park.
……………
You laugh and jump onto Dad's bed on Christmas morning.
……………
You can see him applauding the loudest in the audience of your school play.
……………
The top of his hat from the backseat of a car.
……………
He's teaching you a magic card trick.
……………
His hand is on your sweaty forehead while he checks your temperature in bed.
……………
His back while he hums and stirs something in a bowl in the kitchen.
……………
His voice telling you to have a good day at school.
……………It goes on for awhile, all of the little moments John took for granted, the devotion it took for his single dad to give him a normal happy childhood, until the day that he died.……………
Dad is bent over the kitchen table with his head in his arms, empty bottles everywhere. You are trying so hard to reach him, but no matter how close you get, he's always too far away.
……………
The house is full of boxes and the furniture is being taken away.
……………
Dad is at the front door, looking like he's aged a lifetime, sparing one last glance through you before shutting the door on the empty house behind him.
……………“I w-wanted you t-to know...I just wanted, to be the son you were always so proud of...b-but I couldn't, and now...” John covers your wet face with your hands and crumbles. “...now you can't...you shouldn't...not after what I did to you, to myself, I-I...I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, Dad, I'm sorry, please, I'm so sorry!”You're trying your best to console John, but your thoughts can't seem to reach him anymore. There's a tugging feeling on your soul, pulling you forward, and you're getting dizzy. John is leaving your body.No...No, not like this!Not after all of that, he can't go back to that empty house now! There's nothing for him there but to wallow in despair for the rest of eternity, and if a good guy like him really deserves a fate as cruel as that, then, then...!Fuck, you're not gonna let that happen!You extend yourself – your soul? Whatever the fuck you are in this state – and with John's presence already half faded away, you manage to slip back into your arms. It still doesn't feel quite right, like you're wearing them as gloves, but you force them away from your face and wrap them around your body, holding on as tight as you can, as if that will make the ghost inside of you stay.“He loved you,” you croak out through your hoarse throat. “He fucking loved you, man, and nothing can change that!”
I'll never know. He's gone. I'll never know...
“Yes, you do! Just think about it! You remember how he was! You really think someone like that would give up on you?!”
Everyone else did.
You're getting more and more control over your body now. You're starting to feel your toes. “But even after you killed yourself, he still loved you! For fuck's sake, that's why he's here – look!” Moving feels like you're swimming through molasses. It takes everything you have to drag yourself on your hands and knees over to the headstone to the right, and you force John to look at the name peeking out from under the leaves.
John Egbert
1968-1985
A ud.
“He wanted to be buried next to you, John. Why else would he do that?”
I...
John goes quiet.“He loved you, and nothing could change that. You were his son.”John moves you back to sit on your heels. The two of you are sorta half-and-half when it comes to who's in control of your body now. It's an indescribable feeling, and you're not exactly sure where you start and where he ends, but you're pretty sure it's him moving your hand towards his own headstone to brush the leaves away and reveal the epitaph obscured beneath them. It's short. You only get a moment to read it before fresh tears blind you.
Always proud.
“See?” you sigh in relief as you feel John's soul go still next to your own. “Always proud. He wrote that for you after you died. That means he still is.”
...He...
John is at a loss for words. That's okay. He's coming to terms with forty years of guilt, sorrow, and regret. He can have all the time he needs.He only gets a few minutes, though, before a gentle deep voice calls out in the silence.“John.”The two of you look up, and in front of you is a man who you're pretty sure wasn't there a minute ago. He stands a respectful distance away in a crisp button up shirt, perfectly pressed slacks, a white hat, and one hand holds a pipe to his lips. With a warm smile like that, it's hard not to recognize him.
...Dad?!
John's dad steps towards you. The leaves don't crunch under his feet. “Hello, my son. And...?”“Uh, Dave,” you answer numbly. You're kind of in shock right now. He's a ghost, too?!John's dad gives an approving nod. “I must thank you, young man, for helping my son find his way. I've been waiting for him for a long time.”“Y-yeah...no problem, dude,” you mumble awkwardly. John takes over and you gladly let him, standing up and covering your mouth with your hand.“Dad, you're...are you really?”“Yes, I'm here.” He stops when he's within reach and holds out his hand. John lifts your hand to meet it, then suddenly, it's yours again. Joseph smoothly pulls the ghost from your body and, unlike before, the sensation is so incredibly satisfying, like when you pull the protective plastic off a new screen. Your soul seamlessly clicks back into place where it's meant to be, safe and snug within all of your bones and guts, and your lungs fill with your first breath of air since Friday. You're back – and so is John.You were always seeing his memories from his perspective, so this is the first time you've gotten a good look at him. John stands in front of you, short dark hair, tan skin, slightly taller than you, wearing a plain T-shirt and faded jeans. When he turns around, you can't distinguish his eyes from the sky. They shine bright with joy as he holds his father's hand, who guides him into a strong embrace.“I can't believe you were waiting for me!” John cries into his shoulder. “I'm so sorry I didn't get here sooner!”“That's okay, John. You didn't actually have to come here if you wanted to find me,” Joseph informs and pats his son's back. “You just had to trust me.”John cries harder. His father whispers something quietly into his ear, and you can't hear what he said, but you don't think you're supposed to. By the time they let go, there are tears on both of their faces, and the two of them are shining a little. You realize they're starting to fade.“Are you ready to come home, son?” John's dad asks. John smiles ear-to-ear and nods, but then looks to you.“Oh, w-wait! Just one more thing.” His dad lets him go and he practically jumps on you. You're being squeezed in his arms, and he feels so solid and warm. “Thank you, Dave, for everything!”“Yeah,” you cough. “Uh, you might wanna lighten up there, buddy, I just got my body back and I'd appreciate you not breaking it.” John giggles and eases up on your rib cage, thank goodness. You wrap your arms around him for the most ultimate manly embrace and savor it. You didn't know John very long, and he was kind of a pain in the ass, but now that he's leaving, it kind of feels like you're losing a part of yourself. “Take care, man...I'm gonna miss you.”“Me too,” he agrees. “I'm so glad I got to meet you!”“Don't worry, I'm sure the two of you will see each other again,” Joseph assures. “We'll be waiting.”“That's a little unnerving, but 'aight,” you grin. “No kissing my boyfriend next time, though, got it?”“Hehe, no promises.”You break away to sock him in the shoulder, which is growing more transparent by the second. John doesn't even flinch and laughs as he returns to his dad, who wraps an arm around him as they begin to walk away. John looks over his shoulder and waves at you while the last traces of his smile disappears, and you wave back, your chest swelling with something disgustingly warm and fuzzy.Fuck, you guess Striders do cry sometimes. TG: no it does not count as cheating because he didnt even know it wasnt meTG: and its not cuckholding either because technically it WAS meTT: You can't be both you and not you at the same time. You have to choose one.TG: no i don'tTG: and yes i canTG: its weird ok i don't know how to describe what it feels like to be possessedTG: it was likeTG: me and john were fused or something like steven universe you knowTG: but not like garnet more like malachite where our minds are separate and one of us is in control while the other is just along for the rideTT: Interesting.TT: I would love to know more about it and how it worked. For science.TG: ill tell you more about it later im kinda busy right nowTG: gotta comb through 4 hours of shitty footage full of jack shit from 3 different cameras so like 12 hours altogether and somehow make it interesting enough for a 20 minute documentaryTG: so far ive got 3 dust motes i might be able to pass off as whatever the fuck they call those ghost ball thingsTG: spirit orbs i thinkTG: and a stray cat ran across a room that might make a good jump scareTG: goddammit im not getting paid enough for thisTT: Why not include your body snatcher experience? I'm sure that would garner a lot of views.TG: no way im not telling the world that i got cucked by a ghostTT: Ah, so that IS how it happened.TG: noTG: fuck you As annoying as your cousin is, you appreciate the distraction from the dullest assignment of your life. Now that Dirk and Jake are a Thing, your bro is whipping your ass twice as hard to get this stupid ghost hunting video done for him. You just want it to be over so you can end this weird chapter of your life and go back to normal. You haven't even been able to clean up all of the mess John left in your room yet, and your stomach is still a little upset from that binge. Your burps smell like peanut butter and mustard.You'd be lying if you said you weren't dragging your feet to clean your room, though. It's kinda all you have left of him. Is it weird to mourn a guy who was already dead when you met him? Probably. You can't feel too bad, though, because you know he's in a much happier place. John is probably up there macking on an angel boy right now and not even God can stop him.As you're scrubbing through the timeline of camera 2, the one that was left in the upstairs bedroom, you see a blip of something on screen that makes you pause and go back. You're hoping for another dust mote and you get ready to timestamp it, but when you hit play at normal speed, something else appears near the boarded up window. A shadow materializes from nowhere and floats slowly to the left. It shifts, the vague figure of a person bending down, as if it's looking at the camera, and when you pause and bring up the contrast, a little bit of detail pops out from the pixels. A face.John's face.A picture like that would probably freak the fuck out of anyone else in the world, but for you, it makes you smile. He looks curious. The encounter ends when the piece of ceiling falls, and you can hear Jake's voice reacting to it. John looks up and vanishes, and a minute later, you're walking into the room and picking the camera up. The rest is history.Jake would probably be over the moon if he saw this. Their stupid amateur ghost hunting project actually caught a real ghost on camera, who would have thought. Professionals would kill for this footage.You snip the clip and remove it from the track, saving it away in a protected encrypted folder on your computer.You decide you're gonna keep that memento for yourself.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
You come to the sobering realization that things will never stop from keep happening constantly. And you can't take it anymore.
-MSPA Reader
You might have noticed that around mid-October, I up and disappeared again. That's because a lot of bad things suddenly happened at once in my personal life, as they tend to do because my life is a raging dumpsterfire of bad luck and shitty people, and quite frankly, I've had more than enough of it. Drastic decisions have been made, chances are being taken, and I'm focusing 110% of everything I have into completely restarting my entire life from the ground up in 2020 with the hope that some day I will get a good night's sleep again.So until then, I probably won't be writing much. Who knows how long it will take, could be a few months, or another year, idfk. What I do know, though, is that I WILL be back, because a lot of the prompts I got in October are too good to go to waste, and writing for you guys is honestly some of the most fun I've had in a very long time and a big motivator for getting back on track. Thank you all for your support and patience, I hold every comment and kudo you've ever left me dear to my heart. I wish I didn't have to be so unreliable all the time, but at the end of the day, I have to do what's best for myself, even if that means (temporarily) giving up the things I love. Some day it will all be worth it. Thank you, and until next time,Terra Saltt (P.S. That Dave/Witch!Karkat fic has been like 95% done this entire time which means there's a good chance I'll find at least a couple minutes at some point to at least finish and post it sometime during this hiatus. Look forward to that randomly dropping at some point.)