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Jungkook was 10 years old when his mother left. She never gave a reason. The small child could only watch as his mother packed one bag and got into the cab without looking back. The worst part about it? She left on his birthday. To this day, Jungkook still has no idea why she left. But it's not like he'd forgive her anyway. It's her fault all this happened to him in the first place right?
It was only a month before his father would come home drunk. At first, Jungkook's dad would only scream and cry about his lover who abandoned him. The little boy didn't know why, but his father wanted someone to blame. And after another month is when he started to hit his son. It started out as nothing that bad. He would occasionally be "disciplined" for things he wasn't before. Then it escalated to being hit without reason and brutal words and insults. At first, he'd scream for his parent to stop beating him, but he later learned that if he didn't make a noise while he was being hurt, it would end sooner. And it did.
One day it got out of control. When Jungkook was 14, he had lost one of the four jobs he was working at the time due to his many absences. He brought home a lot less then his father was demanding, and the man was not happy. He had thrown Jungkook down a set of stairs and into their basement. That beating must've gone on for at least an hour, although it felt like 10. The young boy ended up with a concussion, a broken arm, a dislocated shoulder, sprained ankles and a body covered in bruises and cuts. To throw salt on his wounds, his father locked him in the basement all night and well into the next day. He wanted so badly to just swallow a bottle of painkillers and make this agony that he called his life end. But he couldn't. Because one thing kept him going.
Especially down in that blood-stained basement. That thing being singing and just the art of music in general. He didn't think he was that great at singing, and it wasn't like he had support from his father. He never thought it would keep him from getting beaten or help pay for his father's habit, so he kept it a secret.
Five years passed in a continuous cycle of Jungkook waking up, (usually wherever his father beat him until he passed out) going to school, then to work, and back home to give his father the money he makes at his job. Usually, he'd get beaten if he didn't bring enough home, which was almost always.
His father's addiction and Jungkook's fear of one day getting killed for not bringing enough money, eventually led to Jungkook having to resort to theft. He and his father lived in a shitty part of town, so he would walk two miles every day from his work to the rich people's neighborhood. In the summer most of the houses were empty because it was a vacation. This made it ten times easier to fill his backpack with money and jewelry.
He had learned how to lockpick safes and he knew all the classic places for valuables to be hidden.
Once he was done robbing a house, he'd leave the way he came and he would always cover his tracks.
However, one day in the hot July heat, he got caught. Well. Not exactly. It went exactly like this:
A new rich family moved into a house near the block that Jungkook often robbed and the young man immediately took an interest. After all, a new house meant more money and more money meant fewer beatings. So after a week of impatient waiting for the new household to settle so he could make his move, he decided it was time.
Jungkook did what he would normally do, and climbed through the window at the base level after thoroughly checking to see if anyone was home. He looked around the room he was standing in, assuming it was the living room and started getting to work.
'Holy shit! This family is so stupid! Honestly, who would leave all this stuff out?' He thought as he picked up an emerald and gold necklace that was just sitting on the side table by a fine leather couch. The boy made his way towards the kitchen carelessly, but as soon as he turned the corner, he noticed a wide figure leaning in the front of the fridge.
Jungkook startled backward, hitting a table he hadn't noticed before, attracting the attention of the figure. The man turned around, with an apple in his mouth and his eyes as wide as saucers. Jungkook immediately recognized the man as Bang Si-Hyuk, a music company CEO who was in the news recently. Both of them stood as still as statues before the wide man took the apple out of his mouth and began to speak.
"Why are you in my house?! Who are you? Are you one of the boys I didn't get to audition last Friday?" he spluttered, clearly unnerved.
Jungkook didn't want to get arrested or in trouble with his father, so he nodded without thinking. Si-Hyuk sighed in relief. "Thank God. I thought you were a thief or a murderer or something. Well, since you're here, sing."
Jungkook froze, before speaking. "Yes, sir.."
He took a deep breath before he started singing:Even though I want to buy you a pretty necklace
Even though I want to take you out on a ride in a nice car
Even though I want to dress you in nice clothes
Even though I want to take you to nice placesThis hand that I put inside my pocket grabs nothing
How can I get you
My position doesn’t suit you
Regardless, can you stay by my sideThe only thing I can give is this song
All I have is this voice
Even if this makes you laugh
But I still sing
I hope you accept itEven if you say it’s okay
Even if you say it’s okay if I have you
Even if you say you’re happy every day
Even if you say you don’t what anything morePretty, good things; fun, cool things
You obviously want to do these things too Baby
You know that if you stay by my side I can’t do these things
Regardless, can you stay by my sideThe only thing I can give is this song
All I have is this voice
Even if this makes you laugh
But I still sing
I hope you accept itI only have this song I really have nothing but this voice
I don’t know if this will make you laugh
But I still sing
I hope you accept it
I hope you accept it
(A/N This is the actual song he sang for his audition!)
Jungkook opened his eyes to see the reaction of the man standing before him. Bang Si-Hyuk's face was contorted into a look of surprise and shock, but the good kind of shock.
"W-What's your name? How old are you?" the CEO asked with a still shocked voice.
"My name is Jeon Jungkook and I am fifteen years old, sir." The boy responded, hesitantly.
"I want you signed under my company in a boy group called Bangtan Seonyeondan, but you're underage, do you have a parent who can sign for you?"
Jungkook thought about this for a second. He knew his father would never let him join, so he lied.
"No, sir. I don't But I'd love to sign under your company."
"Well, then there is no issue! We can fly out to Seoul next week! But we have to get all your paperwork signed and such." the stout man said enthusiastically.
And that's when the life Jungkook deserves began.
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Taehyung's life was a normal one, at least at the start. He had his family who loved and protected him from the dangers of the world as best they could. He had his parents, his grandparents whom he loved dearly, and his little siblings who looked up to him as a role model. Taehyung also had an older brother, who had gone off to join the Army when Taehyung was only three, so the boy didn't have many memories of his big brother. Taehyung's life was normal for 13 years. He had a few friends who he loved and trusted, he had good grades and participated in sports actively. He was what any child his age should be. Happy. Two weeks before his birthday, his big brother Jae-koon came home after 10 years of military service. Their parents were so proud and glad he had returned home, even Taehyung and his younger brother and sister were happy, even though they didn't know him. When Taehyung was 14, however, he discovered he liked boys. And he himself was okay with it. Many of his friends were surprised but didn't reject or stop being his friend. When he came out to his parents, his mother was shocked and his father was very accepting but didn't know much about the gay community. Next, he had to tell his siblings. When Taehyung told his little brother and sister, they were confused, because they didn't know what that meant. They simply responded with: "As long as you're happy, TaeTae!" And finally, his older brother. Taehyung was anxious about telling him because he had no idea what his response would be. When the day came for Taehyung to tell Jae-koon, his conscious was screaming at him: Don't tell him! He'll hurt you! He'll be angry! He won't accept you! Don't! Don't! Don't do it! He should have listened, but he didn't. And the past can't be changed now. "Hyung?" Taehyung said to catch the attention of his stoic older brother that was laying on his bed, staring at the ceiling. "Hm? What is it, Taehyung-ah?" Anxiety was overwhelming Taehyung's senses, making it difficult for him to breathe. When Taehyung opened his mouth to take a deep breath, the words accidentally slipped out. "I'm gay." Jae-koon snapped his head toward Taehyung. The look the older man was giving the boy was sharp and anxiety-inducing. The smaller child took a sharp intake of air as Jaekook got up and began walking over to him, Taehyung's body instinctively curling back, while his tall brother's shadow stooped over him. "What did you say..?" The older growled lowly, slowly walking over to the cowering figure. "I asked you a question, Taehyung. WHAT DID YOU SAY?!" Jae-koon screamed. Advancing toward Taehyung in long strides before grabbing his hair and pulling his face close to his own. The grip the strong man had on the younger was painfully tight and caused Taehyung to cry out in pain. "You deserve to be punished. Being gay is unnatural. It's filthy. I need to straighten you out." This made Taehyung scream, "Mom, Dad, help me!" And less than 10 seconds later, Taehyung's mother came bursting through the doorway, a look of confusion and concern decorating her features, before transforming into a look of anger. The protective mother stormed towards the males and grabbed Jae-koon by the wrist tearing him away from the scared, now crying boy. "What the hell were you doing, Jae-koon?! Hurting your younger brother for no reason? Tae, what happened?" His mom screamed but softened her voice when talking to Taehyung. "I told him I was gay..and he said he had to punish me and that being gay is filthy.." Tae responded, his voice trembling, failing to hold back tears of fear. The woman didn't say anything, but Taehyung's older brother glared at him, before speaking. "That's not true, mother. We were simply playing a bit rough and I accidentally pulled on his hair a bit too hard, but only because he stomped on my foot. We were just teasing each other." Taehyung's eyes widened in shock. He was even more shocked that his mother grunted and nodded. "Taehyung, Jae-koon, apologize to each other now!" Taehyung continued to stare at the person he should be calling "hyung". And he felt a betrayed toward his mother, that she would believe the older's manipulations. "Sorry, little bro," Jae-koon said smugly. "Your turn, Taehyung. Apologize." "I'm...sorry..." Taehyung said, tears refilling his eyes before running out into his and his younger brother's shared room. He planted himself on his bed on his side, crying quietly to himself, while thinking of the events that just transpired. "What did he mean...by straightening me out...? Am I filthy for loving the same gender?" He sobbed quietly to himself. He stayed alone in his room, sobbing in the dark for a few hours until his little brother came to get him for dinner time. The tension was high between the oldest and second oldest brother and the other family members were unbeknownst to the events that occurred just hours before. After a few minutes of picking at his kimchi stir-fry, Taehyung looked across the table at his brother, who was staring at him intently. As if he was making a plan or trying to visually dissect Taehyung. It made the teen shiver and become increasingly uncomfortable. So he stared right back. Unfortunately, his mother took notice right as Jae-koon stopped staring at Tae, and looked down at his food. "Kim Taehyung, stop staring at your brother like that!" "But- but he-!" His mother cut him off, "No buts. Stop being so rude!" Taehyung looked down at his food, which he had barely touched before asking to be excused from the table. He didn't even wait for an answer, he just got up, cleaned his plate and went back to his bedroom. He spent the night staring at his wall, his mind going everywhere and nowhere. Memories being replayed and forgotten. And the pain he still felt from where Jae-Koon pulled, still aching. Is this the beginning or end of something? Will I be okay once this 'something' comes to a close or starts? I just hope..that I won't be alone forever.
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Ever since the first-night Taehyung cried himself to sleep, he came to realize that his parents would never believe him, because not only did Jae-koon lie, he tricked their parents into thinking that Taehyung was crazy. He made them believe that Taehyung was the one hurting him, not the other way around. Taehyung was isolated by his older brother and parents. His parents didn't let him play with his younger siblings, because they thought Taehyung would hurt them. And so, little by little, Taehyung began to keep everything, his emotions, his hurt, everything, bottled up inside him. Jae-koon would throw cruel comments at the younger often. Usually saying things like "dirty faggot" or even going as far to threaten him by saying things like "One day, I'm going to kill you, you sinner, and you're going to burn in hell. No one will miss you. You're all alone." Taehyung began to hate himself. He hated the fact he liked the same gender, he hated the fact he was alone. He hated the fact that the pain in his chest only got deeper, and never faded.Even if he smiled. The holidays passed without incident. His parents didn't act weirdly toward Taehyung, nor did they prohibit him from playing with his little siblings anymore. He received an mp3 from parents, along with a pair of earbuds. He got a cute little plushie from his younger brother and sister, who very proudly gave him the present. Stating that they had saved up their money from doing chores for their neighbor. Jae-koon, however, gave him words and physical abuse when his parents and other siblings had gone off to do their normal activities. "I'll give you your gift on your birthday. It's about time to straighten you out. Don't forget, you'll be alone forever if you're gay. You need to learn that. And there's only one way to teach you." Jae-koon pulled Taehyung by the jaw, firmly as he spat the words at the young teen, and when he finished speaking he slapped Taehyung, making him fall to the ground. Jae-koon said those words to him in the form of a whisper, but the words echoed in his head, as though Jae-koon had screamed the words at him.The words would leave a lasting effect on him, the sting of the slap would only last a few minutes.Taehyung had unintentionally, allowed himself to believe all those lies. He truly thought he was alone.He was terrified. It's crazy what could happen in only a week and four days. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 3 Days Until Taehyung's 14th Birthday Jae-koon won't stop looking at him. The glare makes Taehyung afraid and causes him to avoid the man's gaze. Taehyung is constantly anxious. He still doesn't understand what his "hyung" said about straightening him out. Of course, he understood what sex and gay sex was, but that thought never crossed his mind. Not until it was too late, and his suffering led to something worse than he could imagine. The physical abuse continued, but Taehyung figured out later in life, that the physical pain he felt, was only to make him fear Jae-koon.If someone is afraid, they are so much easier to manipulate, use, hurt, and break. Timeskip to his birthday------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Taehyung's 14th Birthday Taehyung's day went as he expected. He got a new pair of jeans from his parents and a card from his little brother and sister. From his older brother, however, he received words, again. When the two were alone in the living room, Jae-koon said to him, "When mother, father, and the brats leave tonight, you will come to my room. I know you've practically been dying to know what's in store for you, fag." A few hours later, Taehyung's mother announced that they would be going out to a dinner party in Busan, and they were taking the younger of the family with. Taehyung's father offered to take Taehyung and Jae-koon with but Jae-koon quickly prevented Tae from answering by saying "No, father. Tae and I here are just going to have some bonding time. Right, Taehyung?" Taehyung cringed, nodded and walked to his bedroom, waiting for his family to leave. He heard the opening and closing of the front door and knowing they left, picked up his camera and snapped a picture of his face. He wanted to remember. Remember what? Myself? What I'm like now? Nothing propelled him to do this, but maybe somewhere in his subconscious, he realized why he took the picture. To remember what he was. He left his room slowly and made his way to Jae-koon's room. Before opening the door, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. But before he even opened the door, he smelled something putrid. He recognized the stench as alcohol. When he opened the door, he noticed his brother was at his desk, now facing Taehyung. He got up off his chair and walked toward Taehyung with an unreadable glint in his eyes. Suddenly, Jae-koon grabbed Taehyung by the wrist and dragged him over to the bed. He threw him onto it, causing Taehyung to hit his head on the headboard. White spots danced in his vision and he groaned from the blunt ache. Jae-koon turned, then closed and locked the door. At the sound of the door being shut, Taehyung looked up. Realization dawned on his face and he scrambled to get away from Jae-koon. The feeling of being trapped was growing, and Taehyung shook in fear. He felt like he was in a cage, grasping onto his innocence like how a child holds onto a stuffed animal when they're afraid. He got up from the bed and tried to get around Jae-koon to get to the door. Jae-koon quickly realized what he was trying to do and kicked him in the stomach causing him to fall with a cough. Jae-koon continued his assault and punched Taehyung hard in the jaw. Taehyung flipped onto his back and Jae-koon punched and kicked Taehyung relentlessly. (A/N Think of the Stigma short film) This continued for a while until Jae-koon said: "If you resist me, it will only hurt more!" Jae-koon picked Taehyung up, and once again threw him on the bed. Taehyung cried out. "Please don't! Please don't hurt me!" Taehyung begged. "Oh, Taehyung, so you're a faggot and you're dumb. I'm not going to hurt you," Jae-koon said with a malicious chuckle. "I'm going to break you." Taehyung let out another scream, which earned him a slap. "Shut up, whore. We both know you want this." Jae-koon said as he began to take off Taehyung's pants. Taehyung whimpered, "Please, Jae-koon, don't do this. I'm begging you!" Jae-koon laughed and said, "You begging only makes me want to do this to you even more." Taehyung let out a sob and tried to kick Jae-koon in the face, but instead, Jae-koon grabbed his ankle and twisted it painfully, causing Taehyung to cry out. Suddenly, Jae-koon flipped Taehyung over onto his stomach and ripped off his shirt. Taehyung, who was still distracted by the burning, sharp pain in his leg, didn't realize what Jaekook had begun to do. After Taehyung's shirt was completely off, Jae-koon took off his own belt and started whipping Taehyung with it while screaming slurs, profanities, and words that would affect Taehyung longer than scars ever could. Taehyung cried earnestly at the stinging and ripping feeling he felt from the belt and belt buckle tearing and lashing at his back. Between his ankle, the whips, and the mental abuse, he could hardly struggle, much less get away. After more than 20 lashes, Jae-koon stopped and Taehyung could hardly breathe and wasn't fully conscious. Jae-koon pulled off his own pants, before tearing off Taehyung's underclothing. As soon as Jae-koon began his assault, Taehyung became fully aware of what was happening to him, and he started kicking his legs back, but because he was on his stomach, this made moving difficult. When he felt Jae-koon move roughly again, he cried out and felt a warm liquid pool between his thighs. Blood. Blood. BLOOD. Taehyung let out a blood-curdling scream and was quickly silenced by Jae-koon's hand meeting his throat and squeezing until Taehyung saw black dots and thought his pain was going to end there.He saw the smiling faces of his little brother and sister.He saw the faces of his friends and parents.This is it...I'm going to die here. I'm sorry Ki-jung...I'm sorry Ji-eun. Mom. Dad. His vision went black and Taehyung ceased struggling.Just before everything stopped, Jae-koon let up on his hold and Taehyung began to believe that fighting back was useless, screaming and begging led to more abuse, and then, something snapped inside Taehyung. Everything that he's experienced up until this point since his "brother" came back flashed in his mind, seemingly on a loop. His cries and tears stopped and the only sound heard in the room was grunts and pained whimpers. Jae-koon won. I'm broken. Taehyung's suffering and humiliation was drawn out for a while longer before Jaekoon finished and pulled out. Jae-koon flipped Taehyung over onto his back, pressing the wounds on his back into the mattress when the older male once again held Taehyung by his throat. Taehyung groaned and looked at Jae-koon again. "If you tell mother or father or anyone about this, I will kill you. Or maybe I'll do this same thing to one of the little brats. Would you like that? To see your brother with whip marks all over him? Or let your little sister lose her innocence at such a young age? You should think before you do anything irrational." Jae-koon snarled before taking Taehyung by the back of his arms and throwing him out the door, along with his clothes. Taehyung ran to the bathroom and got into the shower immediately. He let out a hiss of pain when the hot water hit his fresh wounds. He scrubbed his skin harshly and whispered "Filthy fag, dirty, dirty, dirty" over and over again. He hadn't even realized that the water had turned ice-cold, his skin was scratched, and he had tears streaming down his face, and silent sobs were trying to fight their way out of his throat. This brutal cycle would continue for 2 more years. Taehyung made a promise to himself the day after he was assaulted that he would keep his siblings safe. Even if it meant sacrificing himself. Taehyung lost count of how many times he was assaulted, but what he hated most is, he still liked guys. Taehyung's self-hate only grew. The only thing that got him through it all was music. He learned how to play the saxophone and he learned how to dance a little. Music was his passion and he never wanted to let it go. He only ever sang in front of his little brother and sister. Never in front of his older brother. That would just lead to more torment and persecution from Jae-koon. Until one day, when he was 16, he went with a friend to support him for an audition. That's when his life changed. Even though he only went there to support his friend, a trainee manager came up to him and begged him to audition. "What? You want me to audition? But I don't have my parent's permission, ma'am.." Taehyung spoke hesitantly. "Well, that's no issue. I'll call them and ask for their permission to allow you to audition. What's you're parent's number?" And so, Taehyung told the trainee manager the number, and although his parents were at first hesitant, but they agreed when they heard how desperate Taehyung was. They didn't realize Taehyung was desperate to escape. Unfortunately, he wasn't thinking about what Jae-koon frequently reminded him of. He was so determined to escape the monster dubbed "Jae-koon" and the abuse inflicted on him, that he wasn't at all nervous when he sang, danced and did a skit for the judges. The judges were more impressed with him than anyone else from that audition. Taehyung later found out that he was the only one from his hometown who passed. Taehyung's rebuilding began there. But just like a cancer, memories never stay away forever.
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Pictures of the Past Jungkook was sitting down on a small armchair that was positioned in a dark corner of the living room. He closed his eyes, exhausted from the day's activities. As the young boy thought a million thoughts all at once, his mind wandered back to his father and his previous home in Busan. He thought about his father and where he was. He thought about the stench of alcohol and stale cigarettes. He thought about the basement in which he was frequently tortured. No, Jungkook. Don't think about that, nothing can come from thinking about what happened to you. You're safe now, you can't let him damage you when you're safe with your new brothers. He took a deep breath and repeated that last sentence over and over in his mind. He decided to get up and walk to the bedroom that he and his hyungs shared. He felt the need to be around people because when he is alone, he loses himself in his own personal abyss. It was late, Jimin and J-Hope were at the dance studio, Seokjin was at individual vocal practice, and Namjoon and Yoongi were at the recording studio. So, only he and Taehyung were the only two people in the dorm. Taehyung was signed on to BTS after Jungkook was and as soon as he saw him, he felt as though he were looking into a mirror. Taehyung's eyes carried a similar dullness and burden that Jungkook's did. Before he even learned Taehyung's name, he felt as though he could relate to him more than anyone else in the room. It was strange, almost like deja vu. When he and Taehyung locked eyes for the first time, he could see in Taehyung's eyes that he felt the same. Although their shared look only lasted a few seconds, because Jungkook quickly shied away. As he raised his hand to knock on the bedroom door, he heard the sound of crying coming from inside. Jungkook froze where he stood. He couldn't decide what to do, so Jungkook cracked the door open enough for him to see inside. Taehyung was sitting on the floor, leaning against one of the bunk beds, holding what seemed to be a picture, whimpering as tears rolled down his face, and biting his lip as though he didn't want to make much noise. Jungkook's heart ached at the sight, and he felt the urge to comfort the other boy. Taehyung was always so happy, despite the dullness in his eyes that only Jungkook seemed to recognize. Although being in BTS, he noticed that the pain in his own eyes began to fade, and the same seemed to be happening with Taehyung. At this thought, Jungkook's eyes widened in the realization that Taehyung was just like himself, in the aspect that when alone, their demons make an appearance. Without even stopping to think about it, Jungkook opened the door completely and walked into the bedroom towards his crying hyung. He opened his mouth to speak, but Taehyung looked up in shock and began to hastily wipe his tears away. "Jungkook? What are you doing here? I thought you were with Jimin and Hoseok-hyung," Taehyung spoke shakily. "How long were you there?" "Hyung...I won't ask if you're okay, because clearly, you're not. I was going to come here to hang out with you since the other hyungs are out... but if you need to talk, even though we don't know each other that well, I'm here to listen. Or we can just play video games or whatever you want to do." Jungkook spoke with a soft yet not pity-giving voice. Jungkook had no idea where he was getting this newfound confidence from, he was usually shy and introverted. Taehyung was avoiding his gaze at this point, yet "Taehyung, I can tell you're hurting. Do you miss your family? I might not be able to relate, but I can listen if you're willing to tell me about them." Jungkook continued, giving the other a reassuring bunny smile. Taehyung looked up warily as if trying to read Jungkook's intentions, and Jungkook kept the patient smile on his face. After a moment or two, Taehyung nodded and Jungkook sat down next to him. Taehyung pulled out the picture, that he had hidden from Jungkook's sight previously and handed it to the other. The image showed two young children, a boy, and a girl, hugging Taehyung from either side. The trio was smiling widely and Jungkook assumed the children were Taehyung's siblings. Jungkook handed the photo back to Taehyung as the other began to speak quietly. "My little brother's name is Ki-jung and my little sister's name is Ji-eun. Both of them are 9 years old now. They both depend on me and I depend on them. They were the only two in the world who knew I could sing, and they pushed me to pursue it. If they didn't convince me to..." Taehyung trailed off, tears filling his eyes as he shuddered. "I'd be stuck in a bad place." Jungkook didn't press him to continue but instead gently placed his arm over the other's shoulders as if to say, "I'm here, I understand." They both remained quiet for a few minutes before Jungkook spoke. "Thank you for telling me, hyung. Do you feel better now?" "Yeah...thank you Jungkookie," Taehyung said, ruffling the younger's hair. "Do you want to go get a hamburger? I know how much you like them." Jungkook said, standing up alongside Tae. (A/N: Thanks BTS World) "Sure but I'm paying! I'm the hyung here!" Tae said, giving Jungkook that iconic box smile. Jungkook gave his bunny grin in return. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From there, the pair grew closer and closer, they shared a connection that none of the other members could have. For they both had an unspeakable past. Taehyung brought Jungkook out of his shell and taught Jungkook how to be more expressive, which is still a work in progress. In return, Jungkook taught the older dance moves and video game skills. The pair were inseparable and even though they weren't completely aware of each other's pasts, they were there for each other no matter what. If one of them were to be upset, they'd go to the other and cry on their shoulder or the other would joke around and play video games to distract them from their pain. Sometimes, they'd just sit in silence and be there for one another. Sometimes, Jungkook kept his feelings in and didn't vent to anybody, only occasionally Seokjin. Taehyung often did the same, but would also vent to Jimin. Jimin was a '95 liner also, so that made it easier for Taehyung to talk to him. Jimin went to school with Taehyung, so they spent about as much time together as Jungkook and Taehyung did. Even though they vented to other people, and this was a step in the right direction for their mental health, no one knew of their pasts. Both maknaes had physical scars they couldn't do anything about, and they feared another member might one day point it out. Jungkook and Taehyung had inklings of each other's lives before signing to BigHit. Taehyung's scars on his back were quickly noticed by Jungkook and Jungkook's scars that littered his body everywhere were noticed by Taehyung just as fast. Maybe one day the unasked questions will be answered and the two will share their stories of burden and pain. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- How Taehyung Made Jungkook Less Introverted Jungkook was very anxious around everyone. Jungkook himself was aware of this and wanted to come out of his shell but didn't know how to. During one of their dance practices, Jungkook went up to the choreographer, again, with a distressed look in his eyes. This was the first dance practice that included all the members. He didn't like dancing in front of people, out of fear of judgment. Jungkook opened his mouth to speak but the choreographer quickly cut him off and started lecturing him. "You just want to get out of dance practice, don't you?" the choreographer shouted, catching the attention of the young singer's hyungs. "I'm not going to allow you to debut if you're going to slack!" "No, choreographer-nim," Jungkook started, his voice trembling slightly. The tone of the dance teacher's voice reminded him of his father's. Jungkook's eyes began to glaze over and his mind filled with memories of his father calling him a lazy slacker who never should have been born while striking him with his fists and anything within reach. Taehyung recognized Jungkook's trembling voice as a telltale sign of an incoming panic attack. Taehyung quickly moved to step in front of the maknae who was mumbling apologies mindlessly and began to speak. "Choreographer-nim, please, he is just really shy and doesn't know us well enough to dance in front of us, he's anxious that we're judging him," Taehyung spoke with gentle confidence. The choreographer humphed and called for a 15-minute break. At this, Taehyung took Jungkook by the wrist and gently walked him to the bathroom. Now, Jungkook was hyperventilating with tears running down his face. Taehyung feared that Jungkook was ever more scared at physical contact, so he pulled his hands away from Jungkook's wrist slowly. As soon as Taehyung's gentle touch left, Jungkook's breath picked up significantly and more tears flowed down his cheeks. He cried out and his eyes went in every direction as if searching. Taehyung took Jungkook gently by the jaw so that the younger would look into his eyes. Jungkook met his eyes and after a moment, his eyes were slightly less glazed and his tears slowed slightly. Suddenly, Jungkook flung his arms around Taehyung's shoulders, tears leaking from his eyes onto the older's shirt, he was desperate for Tae's soft hold. Taehyung brought his arms up to wrap around the smaller boy and calmly whispered gentle reassurances into Jungkook's ear. "It's okay, Jungkookie, I'm here. I'll protect you. Just breathe." "Come on, deep breath in for three seconds, out for four seconds." "You're safe, I'm not leaving your side." After a few minutes, Jungkook's breathing evened out and his tears stopped. Taehyung could tell just by looking at him that he was exhausted, but they still had 30 minutes of intense dance practice left, and time was running out on their break. "Jungkook, I know you're tired, but we have to get back to the practice room. Please don't be worried about us judging you, we're not. You dance really well. If you get anxious, just look at me, take a deep breath, and keep moving. We only have this and then we can go back to the dorm and then you can sleep." Taehyung said softly. Jungkook groaned pitifully, but obliged and pulled back from Tae's welcoming embrace. The pair made their way back to the practice room 5 minutes before the break ended, with Taehyung's arm was resting over Jungkook's shoulders. When they entered the practice room, the other members gave them questioning looks that caused Taehyung to remove his arm from Jungkook's shoulders, recalling his older brother's words. This recollection made him shiver and look over to Jungkook, remembering his own advice to the younger. He took a deep breath and cast out the thought of his torturer from his mind. Jungkook noticed him shiver and wrapped his arm around Taehyung's waist. They stayed like that for a moment, before they both moved, (Jungkook's arm still around Tae's waist) to sit down on a bench next to Jimin and Hobi. Practice resumed shortly and about 10 minutes in Taehyung noticed Jungkook's shy movements and took a movement in between songs to remind him of his advice. "Keep your eyes on me when you get anxious, I love it when you're confident, Kookie," Taehyung said, looking into Jungkook's eyes. "Okay, hyung, I'll try," Jungkook responded, blushing and trying to meet his hyung's eyes without shying away. For the rest of practice, Jungkook's dance moves were perfect and right on the beat, which drew compliments from the other dance line members and the group's choreographer. Taehyung was proud of the maknae and also complimented him which made the younger blush ('He didn't blush when anyone else complimented him,' Taehyung thought). After the practice *finally* ended, the entire group went back to the dorm to enjoy some of Seokjin's famed homestyle cooking. All the members were sat down at the kitchen table, enjoying the noodles, kimchi, and chicken the eldest hyung prepared. They were laughing, joking around, and then the subject of today's dance practice came up."Jungkook-ah, Taehyung-ah, where did you guys disappear to during our break?" Namjoon asked suddenly. Everyone looked over at the two youngest and Taehyung responded, while Jungkook stared down at his plate."Oh, we just went to the bathroom, Namjoon-hyung. Jungkook-ah was just a bit upset about the lecture and needed a breath of air, no big deal." Taehyung said steadily, glancing over at Jungkook while he spoke. At these words, Namjoon, Yoongi, Hoseok furrowed their eyebrows, Seokjin gave a concerned look, and Jimin's eyes were filled with suspicion and accusation. Jimin opened his mouth to speak, but the sound of Namjoon's phone ringing cut him off. Namjoon looked at the caller ID and raised his finger to his lips. "It's the company." Namjoon raised the phone to his ear and began to talk into it. Taehyung caught a few words that made his ears perk up a bit. "...debut...M-Countdown...June 13th..."Namjoon's mouth progressively widened, presumably in shock, before their manager hung up. "So, what was that about...?" Yoongi asked, sounding positively uninterested.A broad smile grew on Namjoon's face before he said three words that would permanently change the seven boy's worlds. "We are debuting."Shocked silence filled the entire dorm before everything burst into chaos."WHAT?! WHEN?!" Hoseok screamed"Please tell me you're not joking, Namjoon!" Taehyung said, happy tears filling his eyes."That was our manager. He said we're debuting on M-Countdown on June 13th." Namjoon said happily, tears of relief filling his eyes too.All the boys, (except Yoongi who was fighting to keep his emotions at bay) burst into relieved and happy tears. All of them at one point feared that they would never debut, but now, their spirits are high and nothing will tear them down.
