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The Price of Hell:She should have never bothered to check the time or the charts that sums up about the happenings of her day. But then she does all that, with a tiny hope shimmering in the tip of her heart, that maybe, just maybe the Gods have finally realized the err and have rectified their mistake.One could actually hope and..pray.But then, Bulma is always the sane one, the rational thinker who never believes in plain luck or in this case, astrology. But then, hard times has reduced her to cling to the simplest of things.
“Move it, blue head” comes a gruff voice and she wants nothing more than to press her nails in his face and rip his iris out only to feed it to the vultures back at her home planet. Instead, she rolls her eyes at the ugly head with orange hair and moves forward towards the line.
‘What did I ever do to deserve this shit?’ she whines in her head, looking above and cursing all those kami samas’ who have placed her here, in this hell hole with rusts, rusts and rusts everywhere rather than allowing her in to the clouds of joy and passing her through the gates of paradise which was rumoured to be filled with pearls, marmalade and all those things that made her believe in miracles
No, she isn’t kidding, she is literally in hell, with the fire of chilli and all that.
It all started when her idiot ex-boyfriend had pulled a stunt. Yamcha had come running to her when things had gone wild. He had gone back to the forest when she broke up with him and had lived his days as the bandit like he once was.
But then, he had robbed the mayor’s son and there was almost an army of cops with guns and license to kill, scurrying across the forest with enough demeanour to scare the shit out of him. He had run from there and the idiot had come to Capsule Corp with a hope that the cops would turn away their asses once they see that Bulma was his ex.
It turns out that the mayor doesn’t care a damn and wants the bandit arrested for robbing his poor son. So, with the power in his hand, he had ordered the cops to march in with a shoot at sight order. None of this was obvious to the blue haired genius and she was hell lot confused when her security was rigged and when there were buck loads of officers reigning her front office.
Yamcha should have surrendered. Bulma would have bailed him out, but the idiot had to make her life harder. She had almost reached the ground level, to reason with the officers forgetting that she was holding the device that she was experimenting on, the device that needs to be shielded and kept in a cold temperature.
By the time she realized that she was holding the regulator, exposing it to the summer air, it was too late.
There was a huge blast and her last words in the world of living was something in the lines of “Fuck, how dumb am I?”
The worst was yet to follow. She was sure that Goku would somehow revive her with the dragon balls and she could always feign a disguise (cut her perm, grow some bangs e.t.c) and come back as the lost heir of the Capsule Corp where the world would awe at her resemblance to the former heiress.
She had long made peace with her death and was already in the process of imagining how the press would have had field trip about thrashing her brilliance and all that, but then, the dork in the clouds with nerdy glasses and worst of an attire had pressed the hell button by mistake instead of sending her to the heaven.
“Unfortunately, there has been a technical glitch” King Yama had said after she had raised a havoc in the hell.
They had assured her of immediate replacement and apologized for the mess that has taken place. They had promised that it would take a maximum of a week or so, (immense paper work with forms that needs to be signed by the Kais!) but then she has been agonizing in this evil place for almost three weeks and no, there had been no reconciliation of any sort.
So, driven by chaos and complete madness and solitude (because, Hell is the worst place ever, crowded with weird species who are not human, she even saw few snickering beings with spiky raven hair and tails- strangely reminding her of Goku, but none of them had friendly goofy smile) she had started checking for her daily horoscope updates. (Yes, Hell has a place with neon lights that hands out the readings like fortune cookies).
‘A surprise awaits’
It had read and so she already had a smug look righteously pasted in her face, hoping for the said surprise and felt extra egoistic today. Damn those walls of red and guards with orange hair.
Thus, the eyeroll.
Her line towards the lunch counter was moving pretty slow and she had to take extra breathes to calm her bitch attitude.
“Bulma Briefs, you have been summoned” Came a booming voice and there were two guards in pink uniforms (she had been shocked at that!) on either side of her to take her in a low jet to the place of King Yama.
“Finally. Adieus evil guys” She says, gives a wink to the orange head who promptly blush and jumps on the jet with a grace of a queen.
~.~.~ “Sorry- what?” She asks, because the uttered words from King Yama didn’t make any sense to her.
“Er, it seems that you can’t return to Earth. You are however offered other options” He repeats and her heart thuds louder.
“What do you mean I can’t?” She asks, her tone failing to mask the irritation that rides in her blood.
“The situation is quite new and this has never happened before. Apparently, you can’t return back to your world because your physical body is no longer available in Earth and even if Goku wishes you back, the dragon wouldn’t be able to grant the wish. You have to understand that the choices that we are offering you are of highest considerations.”
“What?”
“Can’t you see that you are being offered another chance in life, but just at a different world. That’s all”
“What?”
“Seriously woman, and you call yourself a genius” King Yama grumbles.
“Look mister-“ she starts to make her argument about how there are 450 patents in her name and how there were talks of her getting a Nobel Prize for her scientific achievements and the death was just a off day that she had and there was no way in the hell is she a ‘absentminded crazy scientist who blew herself to ashes’ (she flirted with a guard and may have asked him to pick up a newspaper from Earth the day after her death)
“Look, we tried to reverse the hell-heaven swap situation by deregistering you as dead, and now it seems that according to the files, you are neither dead nor alive. The situation is completely messed up and since everything is computerized, it is really impossible even for Kais’ to restore your status.” Yama briefs her and she could only stare at him, trying so hard not to cry and whine at the issue.
There was a blue skinned dude with a cooling glass, wearing a funny looking PJs appearing suddenly next to Yama.
“Bulma” He nods at her and expects her to jump with joy.
When the nod didn’t elicit any reaction from the billionaire, King Kai sighs and walks further towards her to introduce himself.
“I’m King Kai and Goku keeps disturbing me to know about your situation.” He says and she could only stare at him, as if he had said that she should seriously consider marrying Krillin.
“This is just insane” She whispers and clutches her chest, trying to soothe her beating heart which is now completely devoid of any hope.
“No, we have also briefed him the situation and strangely he was excited and asked if he could exchange his life with you so that he can travel through the universe to meet different people” Yama sighs, shaking his head.
If Bulma could, she would go down to Earth just to give a hard smack on his head. How could he just forget about Chichi, his three year old son and trade his life for an adventure in an unknown planet.
Adventure.
‘Hmm, maybe its not that bad of a situation’ she thinks, weighing her options. The early years of her life, where she had spent days in forests and desert while searching dragon balls and all those adventures that gave her a kick of adrenaline floods her mind.
“What kind of choices am I offered?” She asks, when the air gets a bit lighter and breathable.
~.~.~It turns out that there are three choices laid in front of her.
“Hm, lets see, option one is about a planet named ‘Hera’. It is the home planet of galaxy soldiers-“
“So, you mean to say the planet is filled with handsome hulk kind of men?” She asks, winking at King Kai and he promptly blushes before shaking his head.
“They are more like a gypsy pirate with teal skin and orange hair” King Yama explains.
“Oh okay, I will take that in to the considerations. What are the other two options?” She asks, making a mental note about blue skin and orange hair.
“Okay, so there is this other planet that is similar to the atmospheric and gravitational conditions of the Earth. It is called Konats and they are peace loving creatures”
“Hm, but then what’s the fun in that?” She hums and asks for the third option.
“The third one is called Popol, it is mostly inhabitated by frogs but then they have golden droppings-“King Yama could already sense an oncoming word battle from the blue haired lady.
“Frogs, seriously? Is this what the Universe is offering for it’s error?” She asks, staring at the men in fromt of her.
“Oh, one second, I have an incoming from above. It turns out that you have a fourth option.” King Kai announces and the hope spirals in her heart.
“If the choices seem dull to you, you can always refuse them and stay in Hell for a Year. With the start of new records and new books we can always techie in your information as recently dead and start the process afresh by moving you to the heaven” He says.
“Yeah right, nice doings by the way, a year in hell, no no and that’s a strong no.” She struggles to stay calm and not to shout at them, for shipping her off to hell.
“You can always review the options” Yama says, a shrug on his shoulder and the hopeful glee dripping in the corners of his eyes makes her to rethink and revalue the options in front of her.
“But do remember, you talk of this arrangement with no one and no contacts with Earth” King Yama tutors her in his voice that would make others to drop their shins to the ground.
But then Bulma is never the one to back down, she stares them down with enough might, the way she does to the other CEO’s who tell her that she isn’t in a right mind to do all those things that she has done.
~.~.~Somewhere far far away in the middle of a beautiful constellation was a planet with purple skies and the greenest land, and also, there was a talk.
“But Supreme Kai, I don’t understand. This is something that can be rectified immediately. Why is King Kai-“ Kibito asks, kneeling down in the ground to pay his superiors the respect that they deserve. The silver in his hair glows under the glaze of the stars and his masters twirls a long strand that comes lose. The short lord smiles and looks above to witness the clear sky.
“Kibito, trust me when I say this. The woman has greater deeds to accomplish and this is the only way. Her sudden death has altered the paths and believe me, this is the only way in which she would make sure there isn’t a war between the galaxies” The Supreme Kai whispers, while floating towards the rock that had a sword, shimmering and drumming with a wait to be released.~.~.~.~.“Fine, Planet Konats it is. But remember your promises, I should have the same wealth that I had in Earth” She hisses at the antenna man who parades around calling himself a Kai.
“Yeah, fine” he snorts and then there was a whoosh, a pungent smoke of purple snakes its way from his finger.
“What, what happened. Why am I still here?” She whispers, a small fear grips the breath in her lungs.
“Well, I always wanted to do a whoosh.” King Kai snorts and laughs and Yama lets out a fake laugh that sounder more like a rabbit choking it its own blood.
“And you call yourself a God?” She snaps back and lets out a huge sigh.
“Oh, you aren’t a milligram of fun” He rolls his antenna and this time, she readies herself for her first step in a foreign world. There is a wonder etched in her heart and hope swimming in her blood.Hopefully, this time, she will have a life that she deserves.~.~.~