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Derek is eighteen years old, an adult, but is still really too young to be dragged into a war.
Derek steels his nerves the best he can as he stands stone-faced on the Stilinskis’ porch. His fingers flex against the doorknob of their front door, but makes no move yet to turn it. In his other hand is the Stilinskis’ morning paper that he had picked up from their front lawn. He glared down at his feet, unable to make himself enter the house, but unable to leave before he gets caught.
Last night he had gotten Stiles home safely and waited around anxiously for Claudia and John. When they arrived home, he left, no matter how much they had told him he could stay. He had needed to clear his head at the time, somewhere away from them and everyone else. He needed to process everything he had saw and figure out what to do with it all. However, when he had returned home to his small, empty apartment, he crashed on his couch before he could even take his shoes off. He hadn’t realized how drained he felt until he could no longer keep his eyes open.
When he woke up the next morning, he called in sick for the day. A small part of him felt bad. Including himself, only three people worked at the ice cream shop as it is, but with the shape he’s in, he doubts he’d be any help anyway. His head’s a jumbled mess he’s not sure how to completely fix yet.
But he does know the first step.
Taking a deep breath, he turns the knob and opens the door. Shuffling inside, he closes the door behind him before heading into the living room. Claudia, who had been watching tv on the couch, turns her head and greets him with a smile.
“Oh, good morning, Derek,” she says. “How are you?”
“I…” he starts, but trails off. He stands stiffly in the entranceway, suddenly feeling like an intruder.
Claudia furrows her brows gently, giving him a look of concern. “Are you here for Stiles? I’m afraid you just missed him, John took him to school a few minutes ago.”
I know,
is what he tries to say, but when he opens his mouth to say it, no words come out. Snapping his jaw shut, Derek grits his teeth.
Claudia visually grows more worried by his lack of response. Rising to her feet, she steps around the couch and faces him completely. He watches as her eyes check him over, taking note of how he’s unharmed but tense. “What’s wrong,” she asks softly.
Derek hastily shakes his head, growing more and more frustrated. The reason he’s not saying anything isn’t because he can’t think of anything to say. Far from it; it’s because there are so many things he does want to say and do, but he doesn’t know
which
one to do. A part of him, a rather large part, wants to get angry, to yell at her and throw all of her deception in her face. But another, more hurt, side of him wants to know
why.
Why lie to him? Why not trust him with the truth? What did they accomplish by keeping him in the dark?
He also wants to hug her instead. A part of him wants her to hold him and apologize, to tell him it’s going to be okay. He wants to trust her and forgive her, because she had always been there for him in the past and she had to have done all of this for a reason.
Right?
She makes a move to reach out to him, maybe to place her hand on his shoulder, but he jerks away from her touch as if burned. Her eyes widen and her hand falls back to her side. “Derek? What⎼”
“I know.”
In those two words, her shoulders hunch slightly and her features stiffen. Brown eyes stare at him, calm and calculating, watching his every single twitch. “What do you mean?” she asks carefully.
“I mean I
know.”
He glares at her, suddenly finding his voice. He stands taller, more sure. Seeing her reaction, it was like a switch, once flipped he’s no longer conflicted. Underneath his skin, he feels his blood start to boil. “I know everything now.”
She surprises him then. He had been expecting her to defend herself or deny understanding what he means further. He had been building himself up for a fight, but she didn’t seem to want to give him one. Instead, her shoulders only slump in defeat and she expression turns crestfallen.
“I had thought so.” She looks away, sighing. Nervously, she tucks a stray strand of hair behind her ear. “You were bound to figure it all out eventually.”
Derek blinks, feeling himself reluctantly calm down in the face of no heated argument.
“Why was any of it a secret in the first place? Why lie?” he presses, frowning.
She smiles sadly, shaking her head. “Why don’t we sit down,” she offers, “I’ll make us some tea and then I’ll explain myself. Is this okay?”
Derek takes a deep breath, hating how quick and effortlessly Claudia’s managed to suck the fight out of him. He nods, plopping himself down on the armchair next to him. He doesn’t watch her leave the room, his eyes staying glued to his lap instead. Wiping his hands on his pants, he intertwines his fingers to rest his mouth against, his arms being held up by his thighs. He closes his eyes, his lack of sleep hitting him hard in the face. Despite collapsing the moment he got home; his sleep wasn’t peaceful, being plagued with nightmares all night long.
Claudia comes back a moment later with two steaming cups of tea. When she sets the cups down and resettles in her place on the couch, he opens his eyes. She gives him another weak smile, but it doesn’t help. Reclining back against the couch, she inclines him to say what he came here to say.
With the floor, Derek stays hunched over, only letting his hands falls into his lap, still locked together. “Why?” he asks again. “Why did you lie to me?”
Claudia leans forward for her cup, taking a sip of her tea. “How much do you know?”
“Enough,” he spits. “Though there’s probably more you’ve kept from me.”
The woman across him looks a bit hurt at the accusation, but she silently lets him continue. “I know about the murders. There’s two killers; a hunter and a wolf. The hunter is killing off shifters, no matter the age or record. My guess is the shifter is doing the same, except with hunters. It’s a two person war and innocent people are being caught in the crossfire.”
“That much is true, yes,” she agrees.
“But that’s not just it, is it?” he questions, glaring at her from the other end of the table. “The person behind the killings, the human ones. It’s Kate
fucking
Argant. The same girl who’s a part of the people who killed my family. Who
murdered
my family in cold blood, because we were different.”
“Yes,” Claudia repeats herself, looking less collected. “Yes, it’s her. We figured out that much for sure.”
“And the shifter?”
“A rogue lycan, an alpha at that, but we don’t know who yet. They’re packless and kill everyone they target,” she explains. “John and I, we couldn’t find a pattern to the murders at first since the shifter wasn’t just attacking hunters. They’ve killed humans, some that had nothing to do with our world.”
“Some?”
“Most of them were hunters, a few formerly, yet there have been victims that were simply normal people.”
Derek nods, reaching for his cup of tea for the first time. He catches a whiff of it as he presses his lips to the glass. Earl Gray with milk and honey floods his senses and gives his heart a dull ache. It was his mother’s favorite brew. He lets the warm sweetness pour down his throat and finds himself missing the taste of it. He only ever drinks tea when he’s offered it; he doesn’t buy it himself.
“They’re attacking normal people too? Has it lost control?” He frowns down into his orange drink.
“No, the kills are too practiced and precise. There wouldn’t be anything left of them if it was just killing people randomly.” Claudia places her cup back on the coffee table, massaging her forehead. Despite his anger and hurt, Derek sympathies, he’s starting to feel a headache coming on too.
“You said you found a pattern,” he comments, running his thumb along the rim of his cup.
“Yes…” Claudia trails off. She won’t meet his eyes again, her own glued to her hands as she fiddles with the wedding ring on her finger. She looks more stricken; her face void of its usual color and there’s a pain in her eyes he’s seen before.
“Claudia,” he says, gently but determined. “What is the pattern?”
Another sigh escapes her as she lifts her head, her deep browns staring at him with a cocktail of emotions. “This wasn’t supposed to happen,” she begins. “You were supposed to be safe and live as much of a normal life as we could give you. You weren’t supposed to be caught up in this mess. We just wanted… We were just trying to⎼”
“Claudia,” he says again, setting his cup down and reaching across the table for her hand. Her’s is colder than his own. “What does everything have in common?”
“You,” she whispers, fighting back the small collection of tears in her eyes. “It’s you.”
Derek blanches, taken back. He feels himself freeze in his spot, half his body hanging off the recliner. “What?”
Claudia shakes her head, wiping at her wet cheeks with her free hand. “Well, not specifically you,” she goes on, “but your family. The Hale Fire. The shifter, whoever they are, has been targeting everyone involved with it. Like all they desire is revenge soaked in blood.”
Derek feels like he’s going to throw up. “It’s not me,” he stammers, urging her to believe him. “Claudia, I promise it’s not⎼”
“Oh sweetheart, no,” she soothes. She covers his hand holding her left with her right and gently squeezes. “Derek,
no one
thinks it’s you. We were just worried. No, we were
terrified.
We did what we did to try and keep you safe. The less you knew, the less you were involved, the better.”
He lets out a shaky breath, trying to swallow down the lump stuck in his dry throat. “You still should have told me,” he intones softly. “Even if you didn’t tell me anything, I’d still be a part of the problem. Being ignorant to the situation doesn’t make me less of a Hale.”
Claudia shakes her head. “We thought we could handle it. We thought we could keep it all under wraps before it became such a big mess.” The vixen squeezes his hands again. “You were starting to get better,” she lulls, reaching a hand up to run threw his hair like his mother used to. “You graduated high school, got a job, got out more. You were starting to… you were starting to live again. After what happened, you had shut down on us. You’d go quiet, more reserved. There were days you wouldn’t eat or get out of bed. We did what we could, but none of us knew what to do.”
Derek shys away from her intense gaze and numbly takes his hands back, replacing them in his lap. Claudia’s own linger where they are for a moment, but she does the same.
“For awhile now, I’ve felt like I’m being followed. There’s someone there, but I can’t figure out who. I can’t pick up on their scent,” his eyes flicker up to her, staring at her expectedly. “Know anything about that?”
“It’s not…
her.
That was us too. The victims, most of them are from Satomi’s pack. Talia, and I had known Satomi for a long time now. All of us have lived peacefully here in Beacon Hill together. She is strict and strives for control, but she’s not a bad person. In exchange for catching Kate and the rogue, she’s been doing us a favor by having her pack provide you protection since we couldn’t always keep an eye on you ourselves.” She takes another sip of her tea, and if the drink has gone cold by now, she doesn’t show it. Derek feels his claws dig into the skin of his knees through his jeans.
That explains the familiarity of some of the victims. He’s seen a few of the members from the Satomi Pack, but he’s never personally met any of them.
He shakes his head. “You shouldn’t have lied to me. Maybe you thought you were doing the right thing, but you didn’t think about how I’d feel. My family’s killers are out there, still fucking killing our kind. You let me walk around unaware of everything while you had people I don’t even know
stalk
me. I should have known⎼”
“You’re just a kid! You shouldn’t have to worry about any of this!” Claudia protests.
“I am an adult,” Derek snaps. “And after everything I’ve been through, it’d be stupid to sell me so short. Like it or not, I
am
apart of this. Especially now.”
“We just didn’t want⎼” she starts, but doesn't get to finish.
“Stop making excuses!” Derek growls. He barely manages to stop himself from jump out of his seat, only straightening his posture. “It doesn’t matter what you thought, you were
wrong.
I
trusted
you guys and you knowingly went behind my back. To make it worst, the only thing you actually seem sorry for isn’t that you did it, it’s that you got caught. So just… just stop.” His words lose their heat towards the end and he suddenly feels too drained to make an effort to be mad anymore.
For the first time ever, Claudia looks a bit chastised. She looks down at the cup in her hands in thought and Derek takes in her dejected appearance. She looks so tired, he realizes. Her posture has lost its natural grace and poise. There’s faint dark circles around her eyes and her pretty brown irises aren’t as bright. She must be at her wits end.
“You’re right. We were wrong.” She says after a pregnant pause, meeting his gaze with a firm resolve in her eyes. “Looking back now, I realize you had every right to know what was happening, if only for your own safety. You’re family Derek, we should have been up front with you. I’m sorry.”
“I can’t forgive you,” he says without thought, his own words surprising even him. He hadn’t meant to say it out right, but that doesn't make the statement any less true.
“I understand.” Claudia takes it with stride, smiling softly. By the strain of it, he can tell it’s forced for his sake. The tension in the room doesn’t dissolve, but some of it does fade.
Derek sighs, reclining back in his seat. He rubs at his face tiredly, collecting his thoughts. Claudia gets up, taking their unfinished cups of tea with her to the kitchen. The sound of tv and dishes clanking in the sink is suddenly the only noise in the house.
It feels surreal.
Drawing his thighs to his chest on the chair, Derek wraps his arms around his legs. Fighting down a groan, he drops his head against his knees. For a moment, he ponders the thought that maybe he shouldn’t have skipped out on his last three therapy appointments. It may be annoying and draining to talk to Ms. Morrell, but he reluctantly admits it does help clear his head.
Derek sighs. Even after everything, his demons still haunt him.
When he came here, he expected… Well, he didn’t know what to expect. Claudia had confirmed all of his suspicions and put in place the last remaining puzzle pieces. But finding all of his answers lead to more questions. The shifter attacking people still needs identifying, as do his motives. Why is Kate back now and is it really just her running around playing assassin? What of the rest of the Argents?
He squeezes his legs tighter.
Claudia and John want to get this over with as quickly and nonviolently as possible, that much is obvious. They want to stop the two murders, slap them on the wrists, and lock them up. Let the law decide what to do with them and never have to see them again. How they’ll manage to tie the shifter to the “animal attacks”, he wishes them good luck. Still, all things considered, their plan is probably for the best; to stop them in the most just and mundane way possible. He understands that.
And yet, deep down, he knows he doesn’t feel the same. He doesn’t want an ending were the villains never truly learn what they’ve done. People like Kate, they never understand the magnitude of the horror and disasters they’ve created. People like Kate never care. He wants them to understand. He wants people like Kate to know what loss feels like, what never ending agony, hopeless fury, and so much misery feel like that they
choke
on it.
He wants them all to
burn to the ground.
“Are you hungry?” Claudia asks from the kitchen.
Derek slowly unravels himself, his feet falling to the floor. “No,” he replies. He doubts he can stomach anything at the moment.
“Are you sure? Have you ate anything today?”
“I’m fine.”
Claudia doesn’t ask again and comes back into the room empty handed. She resettles back onto the couch. He doesn’t look at her, instead gives his desultory attention to the tv where a woman drones on about an approaching storm.
“I know we shouldn’t have done it,” she reiterates, “but we didn’t want them to go after you next, because you’re right. There is no bigger part of the fire than you.”
Derek watches the clouds form over Beacon Hill on the screen, “Not just me, Peter too.”
“I…” Claudia trails off. Derek’s eyes snapped back to her, catching the way her brows are narrowed and her attention drifts away from them she stares off inside her head. She recollects herself in a matter of seconds, but Derek doesn’t forget her momentary slip.
“Yes,” she nods, a smile on her lips. It’s pinched with something Derek can’t place. “Peter too.”
.