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Bianca liked to think that what she was doing was noble. It was a word she was certain meant “good intentions” or “doing the right thing to make everyone happy”. She’d look it up in the dictionary. Maybe. But getting Kat a date would definitely make everyone happy. Her sister would finally realize that being an angry feminist didn’t mean you had to hate all men. Especially cute ones with Australian accents. A boyfriend would make Kat happy. It’s what Bianca thought anyway. She couldn’t be sure. She wasn’t allowed to date. Not yet anyway. So, yeah, back to the whole noble thing. It was noble, because if her dad finally saw how happy dating made Kat maybe he’d calm down and be happy himself. Maybe even forget about Mom. Bianca, of course, would be happy, because Kat dating Patrick meant she could date Joey, and having Joey on her arm would up her status at school. She’d be part of a power couple like Posh Spice and David Beckham. Joey being a babe didn’t hurt either.And Cameron. Well, he’d get over her. Bianca was helping him too. Because instead of letting him pine away for her while she strung him along, it would be over quickly. Using Cameron would be like ripping off a band-aid. No painful dragging it all out. She was doing him a favor; he’d be fine. It was a totally noble thing to do. Tonight was the night. A party. With Joey! “It’s just a party, Daddy,” she’d said with a straight face, adding a little whine to her voice, hoping to play into his sympathies.“And Hell is just a sauna,” was his reply. He was always dramatic like this. She blamed her mom. Her leaving had triggered some primal need in him to protect his daughters from the big bad world. Bianca never thought much about her mom anymore. But she did leave behind some nice pearls. Pearls Bianca was wearing tonight with her cute red dress. Maybe that’s what set him off. No, it didn’t matter. Everything set him off. Hopefully, that would change soon.For whatever reason, Kat decided not to be a freak for once and agreed to go to Bogey’s party with Patrick Verona, which according to the rule meant Bianca could go. A fact she had to remind her dad of several times before he gave in. But not before making her wear that fake pregnancy belly. In front of Chastity!“Your dad is seriously messed up,” Chastity said as they got into the backseat of Kat’s car.“Tell me about it,” Bianca agreed. It was true, but Chastity didn’t have to rub it in. And besides, he’d been normal before. It wasn’t her dad’s fault his wife had a midlife crisis and bought a one way ticket to Europe. Bianca wondered if she was still there. They hadn’t heard from her in two years. An email wishing Bianca a happy birthday had popped up in her dad’s AOL three weeks past her actual birthday, but that could’ve been sent from anywhere. She brushed her fingertips along the pearls resting on her collarbone.“So is your sister really dating Verona?” Chastity asked Bianca. The angry woman scream-singing from Kat’s stereo drowned out her voice, keeping the question between just the two of them.“That’s the plan,” Bianca said, glancing up front. Patrick was smiling as he talked to her sister. Kat’s face wasn’t visible, but Bianca imagined a scowl on it. “Just hope it works out between them, because you know, my dad’s rule.”“What about Camdon? Won't he be at Bogey’s party too?”Bianca shrugged, not bothering to correct Chastity getting Cameron’s name wrong. “I’ll let him down easy.”When they got to the party, Bianca immediately separated from her sister. Kat had made it possible for her to be there, but that didn’t mean they had to stay together. Not with all these people from school around anyway. And Kat hated Joey. If she knew he was the reason Bianca wanted to go, things might get weird. Bianca definitely didn’t need a scene between them smearing her reputation.Joey wasn’t hard to find. She just followed the trail of guys who tried to glom onto him, hoping his popularity would rub off. Which was kinda her thing too, but less pathetic, because she was already popular. Joey greeted her with a smile and draped his arm over her shoulder. Chastity looked jealous.But Bianca couldn’t avoid Kat forever, even at a party this size. Joey, like the dreamy idiot he could sometimes be, made things worse by showing off that they were together. “Hey, Kat. Look who found me,” he called out to her.Bianca inwardly groaned, but tried to act unaffected and brushed past her sister like nothing was wrong. “Wait,” Kat said, reaching out.“Please do not address me in public,” Bianca replied, shaking Kat’s hand from her arm. It sounded harsh, but she needed to end their fight before it began. Kat was going to ruin her chance with Joey.“But there’s something I need to tell you.”Yeah, like how Joey was superficial and would only use her. Bianca knew that. She was using him too. Kat might have a self-righteous worldview, but Bianca had her own goals for happiness. “Look I am busy enjoying my adolescence. So scamper off and do the same.” She scanned the room for Patrick and found him nearby. “Maybe you could start by having a drink and paying attention to your date like a normal person.”Joey nudged Bianca’s elbow and then linked his with hers, before they walked out of the room together. She hoped Kat would take her advice, otherwise the plan between Patrick, Joey, Cameron, and Cameron’s nerdy friend might crumble. Come to think of it, she’d seen that friend prancing around earlier, but not Cameron. Bianca kept an eye out for him though, because despite thinking that letting him off the hook was noble, she still felt a tiny bit guilty and was not eager to hurt him. He was sweet in his own way. Just not Joey material.And what exactly was Joey material? Hot. Popular. Rich. A little full of himself ... well, maybe a lot full of himself. She could deal with that. He was a model and actor. That came with the territory. No one could get anywhere important in life without confidence. Okay, but he could at least pay some attention to her. She was finally wearing her super cute red dress that had hung in the closet for months. The one she bought anticipating this very moment. Her first real date. Joey hadn’t mentioned it or the way she’d styled her hair. Chastity had at least given her lip service back at the house. “Oh, you look so cute,” she had gushed in that fake voice of hers.But Joey couldn’t even give her the bare minimum. It was fine though. She could listen to him go on about another commercial gig, this one for ... hemorrhoid cream? Ew! Bianca eventually left after Joey began showing her poses from his underwear ad, but only because when she said, “Hey, uh Joey, I’m thirsty,” he’d told her where she could find the drinks. In all the ways she’d imagined her first date going, getting her own drink had not been part of the fantasy.“Is it just me or does this party all the sudden suck?” Bianca complained to Chastity as they stood near the bottom of the staircase. She was on her way back up to see if Joey was still posing but stopped after seeing Cameron underneath a nearby archway. His eyes locked with hers and he smiled.“Something tells me it’s going to suck a lot more for Camden in a few seconds.”Bianca ignored Chastity- who sounded much too gleeful about the whole thing- and smiled back at him. “Hey,” she said.“Hey,” Cameron repeated, looking shy, but hopeful as he used his hand to push back his floppy brown hair. Ugh! This was going to be more painful than she thought. “So uh, y-you, really look amazing,” he stuttered. “Red is a good, uh, color on you.”For a split second Bianca was sure the room grew quiet. Like one of those scenes out of a movie, when something profound happens. “Thanks,” she replied, hating how her smile pulled from sham plastered grin to genuine in seconds.“And we all know I look amazing.” Bianca glanced behind her and saw Joey making his way down the stairs, wearing a smug grin. After reaching the bottom he pulled on her elbow, until she fell against him. “Bianca, let’s go, we’re all congregating around Mr. Cuervo,” he told her, his arm snaking around her back, in a clear show that they were together. Her stomach knotted watching Cameron’s face fall, but Joey being here was actually a good thing. He was taking the job of breaking Cameron’s heart from her. She wouldn’t have to do or say anything hurtful.“I’ll see you around, 'kay,” Bianca said, looking back as Joey pulled her away, trying her best to spin Cameron’s pained look into a positive. Tomorrow was the start of a new day for him with the band-aid ripped away. He’d get over her. This really was all for the best. Although, maybe not as noble as she originally thought. Bianca found herself outside, hanging around a large group of people, but feeling very much alone. Joey was inside, part of a different group that was cheering Kat on as she table danced. Clearly she’d jumped headfirst into being normal. Getting trashed at parties was a teen movie cliché and her sister was playing the part of stereotype by being blitzed out of her mind. No way sober angry feminist Kat would be caught dead table dancing at a party. Patrick would have to be their DD. After a quick search, Bianca found him helping Kat walk off her multiple drinks, and felt a pang of jealousy. Not that she wanted to be drunk. She’d only had one beer and that was enough for her. No, it was the way Patrick was caring for her sister. Joey barely noticed Bianca unless he was trying to show her off to the right people. Look who I’m with. Ta Daah! As if bragging and then forgetting she was even there.He did come looking for her eventually. Chastity was hanging off his arm. Unlike Bianca, it seemed she’d had more than one beer. “A bunch of us are heading over to my place. Wanna go?” Joey asked.Bianca really didn’t, and for once was thankful for her dad’s over-protectiveness. “Oh man, I can’t. Curfew.” Joey was too drunk to notice the lack of disappointment in her response, and seeing an opportunity, Chastity swooped in to take her place, leaving with Joey instead. Bitch. It looked like Bianca was stuck here until Patrick finished helping Kat. Last time she’d seen them they’d been walking towards a swing set in Bogey’s yard. Bianca headed in that direction but hesitated when she saw Cameron. He looked miserable and gave her a passing glance as he walked by. “Having fun?” he asked, sounding just a little bit accusatory.It was a rhetorical question that she answered anyway. “No.” Bianca felt just as miserable as he looked, like she was disappearing into the sea of people around her. A small, insignificant thing, who wasn’t really as popular as she thought and took for granted the people who wanted her around for the right reasons. “Cameron, wait,” Bianca said, an impulsive idea taking over. He turned around slowly. “Can I get a ride?”Cameron reluctantly agreed but on the drive home all her attempts to apologize failed. She was definitely whelmed with what she’d done to him and how she might try to fix it. Thoughts bounced around in her head; none of them sticking to form the right string of words that would show how bad she felt. It was Cameron who eventually broke the silence after parking near her house. “You know, just because you’re beautiful doesn’t mean you can treat people like they don’t matter.” Bianca felt the sting of truth, but also the kindness in how he framed it. Cameron still thought she was beautiful even if her heart was ugly. “You never wanted to go out with me, did you?” he asked.“I did, but …”“Joey was a better option?”Bianca didn’t answer.“Look, I really like you. I defended you when people called you conceited. I helped you when you asked me to. I learned French for you. And then you just blow me off. Like I don’t matter.”“I think you matter,” Bianca quietly said, before deciding that showing him her apology was more persuasive than telling. She kissed him. Her first. His stunned look as she pulled away was totally worth her taking the risk, and he still seemed unsure of what had happened between them as she got out of his car.“See you in school on Monday,” she said, waving goodbye.“Uh, huh,” Cameron answered, sounding dazed, which made her giggle.After watching him drive away, Bianca walked towards her house, wanting nothing more than to avoid her dad, but when the squeak of the front door hinges announced her presence, he predictably sprang into action. An eternity passed as he forced her to answer a hundred and one questions about the party, all of which she knew were coming and had rehearsed for.“Daddy, I’m tired,” she said with a yawn. “How many more times can I tell you, it was boring. So boring I came back before Kat because you know, she wanted to stay, being into all things lame.” She laid the apathy on thick and finally her dad accepted that she was, in fact, still his innocent little Bianca. Ironically, Kat the table dancing queen probably wouldn’t get nearly as much grief from him.Once inside her room, Bianca kicked off her heels, removed her mom’s pearls, but stayed in the red dress Cameron had complimented, before falling backward onto her bed, making a little excited noise as she crashed down. Now this felt noble, or maybe more like epic. Doing something she wanted to do, and not just because it would improve her status at school, felt … good. She still wasn’t sure how to deal with Joey, but for now, it didn’t matter. Bianca had kissed a boy for the first time and it was for all the right reasons.Later, before Kat came home, Bianca snuck into her sister’s room and stole the dictionary she always kept on hand for writing. Kat was such a nerd for writing angsty poetry. Bianca had read some. She thought they weren’t so bad, but would never tell Kat this. She already held so much power over her. Bianca wouldn't give her the satisfaction.“Noble,” she read quietly, sitting cross-legged on her bed. “Possessing, characterized by, or arising from superiority of mind or character or of ideals or morals.”Hmmm. Maybe not yet. But Bianca wanted to try.
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Kat wasn’t happy with Patrick. That much Bianca could tell. Which didn’t make any sense. If a guy had taken care of her while she was drunk and made sure she got home safely, Bianca definitely wouldn’t be pissed like Kat seemed to be. That’s the reaction any normal person would have anyway. But Kat never did what others expected of her, and it wouldn’t be so far-fetched to think being angry at Patrick was just another one of her dumb statements about society or whatever.Still, Bianca wanted to know what had gone down between Kat and Patrick, and forced the question on her sister one day after school. “What did Patrick do to make you so angry at him?” she asked. When Kat gave her a look like she wasn’t going to answer- all arched eyebrow and frowny face- Bianca whined, “Come on, just tell me.” That’s when her sister purposely took forever filling a cup with water from the kitchen sink, then drank it slowly, much to Bianca’s annoyance. “Look, I’m only asking, because I saw how he was helping you at the party, and if it were me I’d be so into him for being such a gentleman. Except ...” Bianca gasped as realization suddenly struck, “maybe he wasn’t a gentleman. Oh my god did he-”“Bianca, let me stop you by saying I am not you so I wouldn’t expect you to get it. We’re not the same. At all. Let’s just leave it at that. So, you can go run along and paint your nails sparkly pink or whatever it is you do.”Bianca huffed. “You know, you think I’m superficial, but looking down your nose at everything I like makes you just as bad. Everyone has to fit into your tiny little box of what you think is right or they’re somehow a horrible person. Newsflash, that doesn’t make you good or noble, that just makes you a snob. The thing you accuse me of being. Projection much?”“Oh, really? Not wanting you to date a misogynistic prick like Joey is being a snob?” She took another drink of water and then tossed the cup in the sink, the ding of plastic meeting metal echoed around the kitchen. “And by the way,” Kat added, her voice thick with sarcasm, “Thanks for letting me know you were having him drive you home from the party.”Bianca seethed. “For your information, I did tell you I was leaving. With Cameron. Not Joey. Maybe you’d remember if you weren’t so utterly trashed that night.” Bianca stormed out of the kitchen and breezed past her dad who’d gotten home just in time to hear the last bit of their argument. She didn’t care. Let Kat get in trouble for once.“Trashed? Who’s trashed? Is somebody getting trashed?” he asked as Bianca marched up the stairs and slammed her bedroom door, then fell face first into her pillow to muffle a screamGod she hoped her sister would get her ass handed to her. Grounded … for a month. With no internet access. Forget your AOL, dear sister. It’ll be MIA. Why was it always this way between them? Why was there a stick perpetually stuck up Kat’s butt? Why was … someone knocking at the door?Lifting her head, she shouted, “Leave me alone.” It was either Kat or her dad and neither were people she wanted to see at the moment. But the person on the other end didn’t care what Bianca wanted, which again meant it could be either of them. Figures. She should’ve locked the door because seconds later in walked Kat, her trademarked bitchtastic scowl strangely missing. “Go away. I’m busy painting my nails extra sparkly. You wouldn’t understand,” Bianca groused, rolling over to the other side of her bed. The five members of Nsync standing in various poses, stared back from a poster taped to her wall until Kat walked around the bed and blocked her view of the boys.“Stop being immature,” she said, nudging Bianca’s legs out of the way before sitting down. “I came in here to apologize.”Bianca harrumphed then snapped back, “Apologizing means admitting you did something wrong. Are you even capable of that?”“Sometimes. When it counts I will apologize, and downstairs I overreacted, because as much as it pains me to admit it …” Kat breathed in through her nose and exhaled loudly. “I let a guy mess with my emotions and since you were asking about said guy, I took it out on you. And for that, I’m sorry.”Bianca sat up and tucked her knees under her chin. “Honestly, I think you took it out on me because I’m an easy target? Defenseless while you and Daddy always hold me hostage?”“Oh please. Dad gives you whatever you want,” Kat replied, rolling her eyes. “You’re his favorite. If you wanted a pony he’d probably build you a stable to go along with it.”“Yeah well, problem is, I’m sixteen now. I don’t want things like ponies anymore. I want my freedom.”Kat snorted. “You’re not exactly Braveheart. No one’s coming to steal your homeland. You just can’t date. And trust me, that’s a good thing.”“Maybe for you, since you seem to hate every guy ever to exist.”“I don’t hate all men.”“Then what’s the story with Patrick?” Bianca asked. “He was nice to you at the party and yet you still hate him. Am I missing something here?”Instead of raising an eyebrow and frowning at the question like she had downstairs, Kat drew into herself. Shoulders sagging, she sucked on her bottom lip, gnawing the skin before admitting, “Fine. You’re right, you are missing something.”“And that would be?” Bianca pressed when Kat didn’t offer up any more information.“That I might’ve had a little bit too much to drink on Friday.”“That’s not exactly something I missed,” Bianca snarked.“Contrary to belief, table dancing is not my passion,” Kat insisted with a smirk.“I know a few people in attendance that night who might think differently.” An image of Joey chanting her sister’s name with a group of his minions popped up in Bianca’s head and it was like biting a lemon. She briefly pursed her lips. “But that still doesn’t explain why you’re mad at Patrick.”Kat glanced away towards Justin Timberlake and his crew, before looking back again, her mouth stretched into a wide grimace. “Well, I might have tried to kiss him.”“Oh my god!” Bianca’s hands flew to her mouth.“But he didn’t kiss me back and I took it personally. Probably more than I should’ve. It’s just that I haven’t kissed anyone in years and I finally wanted to and then … nothing.”Was her sister seriously this dense when it came to guys? Did she really have to spell it out for her? “Well, obviously he knew how drunk you were and didn’t want to make a move. In this situation, nothing is good. You couldn’t give consent, so he didn’t kiss you back. Isn’t that like feminism 101?” Her sister’s mouth made a little O shape of shock, which annoyed Bianca. “Surprise, surprise, your silly little sister is capable of deep thoughts beyond her nail polish color,” she retorted. “And anyway, you’re always warning everyone within earshot that guys are creeps who’ll only take advantage of you. Well, here’s one who didn’t. And you’re doing what exactly to show your appreciation? Oh yeah, treating him like crap.”Kat stayed quiet for a few seconds- probably trying to reconcile her supposedly superficial sister being able to deconstruct a problem of hers so effortlessly- and when she finally spoke it wasn’t to pick up the topic again. She deflected, asking about Cameron, which honestly wasn’t such a surprise. With how stubbornly self-righteous Kat could be, it might take her a while to come to terms with an exposed flaw. Better to change the subject than admit she was wrong.But her sister taking an interest in someone Bianca liked … now that was a surprise.“Cameron’s my tutor,” she told Kat. And he’s been in your bedroom. Seen your black panties. Bianca shook her guilt away. That was before she’d decided to turn a new leaf. Become noble. “He’s a little shy and nerdy ... but sweet and cute. Patrick actually has a class with him.”“Oh?” Kat tried to act indifferent to this news; Bianca didn’t buy the fake apathy for one second and tried not to roll her eyes.“Yeah, but he’s only a Junior. His dad’s in the military, so he’s been bouncing around schools all his life and his classes are all screwed up. He even has Art with Chastity, and French with me.” It was funny that a lot of this information had been learned in just the past two days. Being interested in a guy as a person rather than just a tool to get something, made him so much more interesting. “Anyway, maybe we could all go on a double date sometime. Me, you, Patrick, Cameron.” Bianca laughed when Kat blanched. “Kidding! Mostly, because I can’t date. Tutoring and phone calls are how Cameron and I will manage until things change. We don’t even share the same lunch period.” Now it was Kat’s turn to feel guilty. That’s what she hoped for anyway by slyly mentioning their dad’s stupid rule.But Kat didn’t budge, and again changed the subject. “What about Joey?”“What about him?” The bitter lemon taste returned to Bianca’s mouth.“Are you two still talking. Can’t imagine his pride would be okay with you dating this other guy.”“Um hello. I’m technically not dating Cameron, because I’m not allowed. Not yet. And Joey can get bent. If he’s still trying to get with me that’s on him. I don’t need to tell him anything.” Bianca hated to admit it, but when Kat glowed with sisterly pride, it made her heart lighten. They may not get along all that much, but there was still this weird desire for Kat’s approval buried underneath all of Bianca’s annoyance with her. Which she guessed made sense. As a rule, most moms and daughters didn’t get along, and occasionally Kat filled that motherly role for her. Not liking Joey Donner seemed to be what they could bond over.“I’m sorry I assumed you went home with him,” Kat said, her smile guilty. “I don’t remember you telling me you were leaving with Cameron, but I think we both know why that was.”Bianca shared a quiet laugh with her sister and figured that as long as Kat was being generous with apologizes then she might as well contribute too. “And I’m sorry I got you in trouble with Daddy for being drunk.”Kat waved her apology away. “Oh, I smoothed that over. Told him trashed was new slang for recycling and that they were doing a lot of that at Bogey’s party. I was too busy being trashed,” her sister paused to use to air quotes around the word, “and didn’t know you left. It goes along with the liberal ideals Dad associates me with. Saving the earth and all. He bought it.”Now it was Bianca’s turn to be surprised at her sister. “That’s so shrewd. I can’t believe you lied to him like that and he actually believed you,” she said, sounding more impressed than accusatory.“Well, I am known as the school shrew.”Her sister smiled like this was a compliment, but when Bianca teased, “Teach me your ways, oh ancient one,” Kat’s copyrighted scowl returned.“No way. That’s something you have to learn on your own. And I won’t be responsible for your downfall into the art of lying to a parent.”And so, they were back to overprotective sister and father teaming up to keep the youngest child locked away from harm. A modern day Rapunzel. Bianca would’ve protested, but decided ruining their rare sisterly moment with another fight might hurt her chances against the real battle. And at that moment going to prom with Cameron was more important than proving a point. Of course, he hadn’t asked yet, and Kat had to agree to go with Patrick to make any of it work. But Bianca was hopeful that if she played her cards right, she’d get her way, and her first order of business tomorrow would be talking with Patrick and figuring out how best to handle their Kat situation.
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Even with Bianca promising herself to become a better person, expressing that change at school ended up being more difficult than she anticipated. There were expectations. Nearly two full years of high school spent cultivating a brand, and she couldn’t just break away from that overnight. And truthfully, there was a part of her that still clung to the jealous looks from other girls. Especially Chastity’s.Her jealousy was over Joey. Bianca’s frenemy might have gone home with him the night of Bogey’s party, but her expectations had smashed right into cold hard reality inside Joey’s house. And according to her, reality was hella boring. “It was so lame,” Chastity complained that Monday after the party. "I was the only girl and all the guys just sat around playing Tomb Raider and kept making comments about her tits. A damn video game character.” She paused to apply sparkly pink lip gloss while staring at her reflection in the girl’s restroom mirror. “And anytime I tried talking, Joey kept bringing the subject back around to either him or you?” Her lips thick with a new shimmer, Chastity brought them together and made a little popping sound.“Well, what did you expect?” Bianca asked as she pulled a paper towel down from the dispenser and dried her hands. “They’re Neanderthal boys, a woman’s breasts- even a fake pair from a video game- will always be top tier conversation for them.”“Excuse me?” Chastity sent her a sideways glance. “Am I speaking to Bianca or Kat Stratford right now?”Bianca didn’t like the comparison, but only because it was meant as an insult. She quickly backtracked. “Chaz, all I’m saying is that boys will always talk about boobs because they’re, well ... boys. And the only reason Joey was talking about me was because I didn’t go home with him. It’s a strategy. You can’t give guys too much all at once. You’ve gotta leave them wanting, otherwise they get bored.” That hadn’t been why she’d declined Joey’s invite, of course, but standing there with Chastity judging her, Bianca’s brand of detached dream-girl had pushed past her desire to be noble. Oh well, she was a work in progress.In response, Chastity’s shiny lips pulled down into a pout, before stating, “I’m going to be late for Art,” and then her friend left the restroom. Bianca caught up with her in the hallway and discreetly waved to Cameron after Chastity walked into the art room.Over the next few days that little gesture became one of their things. Yeah, they had things now. A wave in Art class. A smile in the hallway when their paths crossed between third and fourth period. Sitting next to each other in French. And obviously, their already established after-school tutoring. None of their things screamed that they were an item though. Bianca wasn’t ready just yet to say he was her boyfriend. Only Kat and Cameron’s weird friend knew. What was his name again? Oh yeah, Mike.But when Chastity finally mentioned Bianca’s strange new habit of walking her to class, she backed off. Cameron noticed and worked the subject into their afterschool tutoring. “I uh didn’t see you in Art today,” he said, causing her to look up from the French words she'd been staring at. A cute little worry wrinkle sat just between his eyebrows.“Oh, it’s nothing. Chastity got nosey and said I was only walking her to class to see you. It was a joke, but still ...” Bianca shrugged, “we need to be careful.”“Oh?” Cameron’s voice rose in pitch and his winkle deepened. “I-I didn’t know that was a problem. Her knowing. About us, I mean.”“If Chastity finds out she’ll blab it all over school, and like a bad game of telephone it’ll get back to my dad, who’ll probably assume it means I’m pregnant or something, and I don’t want him shoving the barrel of a shotgun in your face.” Cameron softly laughed, but Bianca didn’t reciprocate.“Oh, so that wasn’t a joke?” he weakly asked.She reached across the library table and patted his hand. “Well, maybe not that severe, but you know my dad’s rule. He didn’t make it cuz he’s a rational guy. And the only way we can get around it is if we fix our Kat problem. According to her, that’s going to take some spectacular show of je suis desole from Patrick.” Cameron didn’t say so, but Bianca could tell he was struggling to understand. “It means, I’m sorry.”“Oh, yeah, I knew that.” It was a lie. She’d discovered two days ago that he wasn’t nearly as good at French as he first led her to believe. Bianca wouldn’t call him out on it, but she would tease him mercilessly.“So, I’ve been meaning to ask, do you think you could tell Patrick I want to talk to him?”“You? Y-you want to talk to Verona?”“I just had some ideas on how he could woo my sister back.”Cameron sighed in relief and Bianca giggled. “Don’t worry. He’s not my type. I like the shy sensitive type who blushes easily, but also calls me out on my bullshit.”“I-I wasn’t worried. And I don’t blush easily,” he said, a pink creeping up his face. Cameron pulled out the collar of his shirt and swallowed. Ugh, he was such a horrible liar. And cute. The urge to kiss him was strong, but she stomped it down. No PDA here; there were too many prying eyes.She and Cameron did though manage to get in a few kisses the next morning as they waited for Patrick under the school stadium bleachers. It was their first lip lock since that night in his car. They were quick kisses, closed-mouthed, and sadly interrupted by Mike who announced, “Verona’s coming,” followed by, “whoops, sorry for uh ...” He let the sentence hang in the air making his intrusion all the more awkward.Cameron stared at her, an apology in his eyes, and a smile on his lips that grew wider and wider until Bianca realized she must’ve been blushing. Oh god, she was just as bad as him. So much for being a detached dream-girl. Cameron somehow managed to draw out her real emotions and they were hemorrhaging like a freaking wound. The feel of his hands around her waist disappeared as he used one of them to cover his laugh. Gently, Bianca nudged him in a show of fake anger but then broke out into a fit of giggles that infected their small group of three. And that was the scene Patrick walked into seconds later.“Did I miss something funny?”“Just these two uh lovebirds swapping spit,” Mike joked and Cameron briefly narrowed his eyes at his friend.“But please, don’t tell my sister,” Bianca was quick to add. “She’s so overprotective of me. Like a mini-mom.”Patrick ran a hand through his hair and frowned. “Don’t think that’ll be a problem considering she’s not exactly speaking to me at the moment.”“And that’s why I wanted to talk to you.” Bianca gave Patrick a rundown of the plan she’d pieced together after an evening spent thinking over what could poke at Kat’s hard to reach sentimental side, but he didn’t seem receptive.“You want me to do that?” “Look, Kat hates guys that are full of themselves," she explained, calmly, trying to get him to see the reason behind something he clearly thought was insane. "If you show her that you could care less what others think of you, and do it in a big way, she’d be willing to give you another chance. I just know it.”“So basically, to win your sister back, I have to make an ass of myself in front of the whole school?” Bianca nodded and Patrick grew quiet, contemplating, before startling her with a loud laugh. “And I’ve gotta use this song.” He held up the CD Bianca had taken from her house that morning, and laughed again.“It has sentimental value,” she insisted, irritation working its way into her voice.Patrick seemed to recognize her barely hidden frustration and quieted down long enough to say, “Tell ya what. I’ll think about it.” Then with that, he walked out from under the bleachers, his laughter returning and growing louder from the stadium amplifying it.“You know, for a tough guy, he’s got a really genteel laugh,” Mike commented, but Bianca ignored him, turning to Cameron instead.“You want me to walk you to class?” he asked, but she shook her head, too annoyed to deal with any questioning looks or whispers about them as a couple, especially if they walked out from under the bleachers together.“I’ll see you later, okay?” she replied, and went to class alone, feeling skeptical that Patrick would follow through. Yeah, maybe he would think about it, but that didn’t mean he’d come to the same conclusion, that sacrificing his cool brand was the only way to win Kat’s approval. It reminded her a little of what she was going through. Eroding her popularity for self-respect and happiness with the person who sat across from her later that day in the library. It was their daily tutoring- playing footsie, cute glances, or you know, basically flirting because they couldn’t outright date- session.Bianca looked up from the pages of French burning a hole in her brain and stared at Cameron. His dark brown hair had fallen across his forehead as he studied the textbook in front of him. His lips moved, but his words were silent as he practiced a phrase he'd most likely get about half right. Her eyes traveled down to his buttoned-up collared shirt, which was a little more dressy than usual. He’d started doing this after their first kiss, and Bianca thought that maybe it was his way of changing for her. A little more preppy to fit in with the popular girl. She would have to tell him that it didn’t matter. His tees and flannels were just as appealing as the outfit he was wearing now to impress her.When Cameron finally looked up and caught her examining him, his eyes darted around to see if there was someone else she was looking at, which made Bianca chuckle. “Sorry,” he apologized. “It’s just that you staring at me still seems weird.”“Why?”“Well, because you’re like the most beautiful girl in school.”Bianca liked the way he said that, so matter-of-fact, without any hint of wanting something from her. Just like he was reporting the weather or ordering food. But then suddenly she scowled, remembering Joey asking her to prom earlier during gym class. She’d brushed him off, but not before he’d oozed false charm all over her.“D-did I say something wrong?”Bianca relaxed her face. “Not at all. I was thinking of something else.”“Verona?”Bringing up Joey probably wasn’t a good idea, so she replied, “Yeah.” It was only a little white lie. And besides, Bianca had spent most of the day wondering if Patrick would go through with her plan.“Can I ask you something?” Cameron shifted in his seat.“Sure.”“Why that song? Like I get what you’re trying to do. I think it’s a great idea, but the song part … why does it have to be that one?”Bianca felt her breath catch in her throat. It was a reaction that surprised her. Wasn’t she over this? “It’s from when we were kids,” she responded after taking a second to clear her throat. “My mom and dad used to sing it to us. I thought, maybe it would be just enough to crack Kat’s tough exterior. Remind her of happier times ... before Mom left.”Cameron didn’t say anything for a few seconds. Maybe he had seen the tiny change in her demeanor and sensed it was better to move on. She liked to thinks so, with how sensitive he could be. And when he did eventually change the subject, taking her hand to say, “Tu es belle,” without screwing up a single syllable, Bianca blushed. He’d found another way to say she was beautiful and it was perfect."You're not so bad yourself," she teased, which made them both chuckle.She wanted to wrap their moment up and put it in a box to take out whenever she was feeling sad, minus the part that happened afterward when Mike came running into the library shouting that they just had to see what Verona was doing. At first, Bianca was angry at him for interrupting yet another moment between them, but that soon changed to elation when she saw what Cameron’s idiot friend was raving about. Patrick had gone with her suggestion, but taken it to another level entirely, singing Can’t take my eyes off you to Kat on the soccer field with the marching band as an accompaniment instead of her parents’ CD ... a CD Patrick handed back to Bianca the next day with a wink as he passed her in the hall, stating, “Turns out I didn’t need to use this after all. Go figure.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Pain traveled up and down the back of her hand in waves and Bianca winced. She hadn't really thought it through when she pulled her fist back and brought it forward again to meet Joey's nose. Not even during the second or third punch. It was all a blur, playing out so fast her mind had to play catch-up with her instincts.She had come back from the restroom, upset over Chasity claiming there'd been a bet between Joey and his troll army. He was going to nail Bianca after prom. It wasn't her intent to go over and confront Joey. She'd just wanted to find her sister; tell her she was right. Not that Bianca doubted Kat. After Bogey's party, she'd made up her own mind that Joey was a creep. But for some reason, it was important to let Kat know. Only, the first thing she saw out on the dance floor was Joey knocking Mike down and then turning on Cameron to punch him in the face. Watching her date fall to the floor, sparked something in Bianca that propelled her to march over and add her fist to the fight.She'd managed to walk out of prom high on adrenaline, without a single thought about how crushing her knuckles against Joey's face might not be the best idea … for her hand anyway. If she was going based on what it did for her self-esteem then yes, it was a freakin' great idea. Best she'd ever had. Watching that asshole whine like a baby while clutching his nose was so satisfying. It wasn't until later that realization hit; you couldn't just punch someone multiple times and come out unharmed. Especially if you'd never done it before in your life."Does it still hurt?"Bianca's gaze shifted away from her hand to Cameron sitting beside her in his car. "Yeah," she answered. "But the cold pack helps. Thanks."After leaving prom, he'd driven her to a grocery store where they'd bought a single-use cold pack, and also received a few raised eyebrows from customers wondering why two teens in prom attire were walking through the medicine aisle and not, you know, at prom. Once back in Cameron's car, Bianca remembered that condoms were sold in the same area and suddenly their stares made sense.Cameron was quiet for a few seconds while staring out his windshield. "I sprained my finger while trying to fight last year," he mentioned, before pausing to smile apologetically. "But I'm sure that's not even close to what you're going through.""You were in a fight?" It was hard for her to imagine him trying to hurt anyone. He'd gone straight down when Joey punched him. Even now he had some toilet paper shoved up one of his nostrils to keep the blood from flowing free and the start of a bruise forming around the bridge of his nose. The two of them were quite the broken couple at the moment and from another point of view, it seemed almost funny. Almost."Trying is the keyword," Cameron answered. "When you're always the new kid in town, it's hard to make friends. Most of the time I'm an easy target. So, I guess it was bound to happen that I'd get punched here too." Bianca frowned. Cameron's friendship with Mike made a little more sense now. He'd been accepting right away, showing him around school and eventually setting them up for tutoring. She should really stop being annoyed by Mike so much. And considering he'd tried to put himself between Joey and Cameron during their short fight, Bianca thought he deserved at least a thank you from her. "But hey," Cameron said, bringing her attention back to him. "Now I have you to defend me."His mouth pulled up on one side. It was obviously a joke; the kind you say when there's a half-truth to it. "Oh, I don't know, my hand might be out of commission for a while," she replied, matching his teasing tone."Well, there's always the other one." He pointed at her left hand, which was resting atop the cold pack, keeping it steady.Bianca shook her head. "Nope. I'm going to keep that one safe so I can do this." Slowly, she reached across the divider and laced her fingers with Cameron's. It was supposed to be a tender moment but felt so lame in retrospect that Bianca started laughing. "God what have I turned into? I'm such a dork." She groaned dramatically. "All those years of trying to climb the popularity ladder and now look at me. After punching Joey I'm sure I'm out of the club for good. Not to mention my terrible seduction skills I attempted on you just now."Cameron let out a soft chuckle while studying her face. "Those aren't bad things, it just means you're well rounded. Beautiful, smart, kinda dorky, a little selfish, but also kind. And most importantly, brave. Without that last part, I'd probably have more than a bloody nose right now." His hand slid from hers and then cupped her cheek. "You're exactly the person you should be. You."Bianca sighed a little. An echo of the happiness she felt inside. Cameron was so good at seeing through to the real her. He accepted who she was. Flaws and all. And when he brought her in for a kiss, she sighed again, glowing from the feel of his mouth against hers. Bianca with her likely sprained hand. Him with his injured nose. Two broken people who were also whole because they found each other.Wow, I should write a poem or something about this. She still had Kat's dictionary in her room. Yeah, she should totally write a poem about them. The mismatched couple who weren't so different after all.A sudden loud knock against glass jerked them apart and Bianca fought the urge to scowl when she saw Mike standing outside Cameron's door, making the universal "roll down your window" gesture. She was now mentally rescinding his thank you. Mike's date, Mandella, stood off to the side, giving her shoulder a little shrug when Bianca made eye contact. "Hey, what are you two crazy cats up to?" he asked after Cameron did as his friend wanted."Oh, just getting Bianca a cold pack for her hand," he replied. "You guys left prom early too?""Well, m'lady here was feeling famished, so we were on our way to a succulent feast." He was speaking in that fake Shakespearean accent he'd been using at prom and Bianca felt like gagging. Mandella, on the other hand, seemed to be eating it up, beaming at him as if he were a prince. "Anyway," Mike said, reverting back to his natural voice. "We saw your car and thought maybe you'd want to tag along?"But seeing Mandella reminded Bianca of Kat- who'd last been seen running out of prom after a fight with Patrick- and she reached for Cameron's hand. "Actually, I should really see how my sister is doing," she told him before looking at Mandella. "Do you have any idea where she might be?" Kat was sitting on a bench alone as twilight slowly crept in all around her. Well, she wasn't technically alone, but was trying her hardest to will her unwanted company away by imagining him in several scenarios that probably were a bit too dramatic. At least the one of him getting kicked in the groin several times was funny. Sadly, all her attempts failed. With Patrick nearby, sulking in his car after she'd rejected him for the last time, Kat just couldn't force him from her mind or even turn her thoughts into satisfying revenge fantasies. All his empty apologies kept replaying, like one long mix-tape she couldn't shut off. But it didn't matter. He could apologize a million times, repeat once more that he wanted to date her regardless and only took the money to screw with Joey. She didn't care. Money had exchanged hands and that was enough for her. Still, Patrick persisted until she'd brandished pepper spray from her purse and waved it in front of his face. That's when he'd retreated to his car and where he'd stayed for who knows how long now. Too long. She would've gotten up and walked away, but didn't want him to perceive he had any power over her actions. He should be the one leaving. Not her.Kat sighed, looking out at the setting sun over the Pacific Ocean, trying to distract herself again by pretending she was actually at the park to watch the sunset and not escape mortification over being paid for. But Jesus Christ she was still so angry about it and her attempt to forget was so bad this time that she laughed."See something funny?"The voice from behind startled her. And not just because she'd been deeply concentrating on pretending Patrick Verona didn't exist. Honestly, this was the last person she expected to see and gaped seconds later, when Bianca slid in next to her on the park bench as if everything was totally normal. "W-what are you doing here?" Kat stuttered. Her sister's sudden appearance threw her off balance, and she couldn't decide if it was a good or bad thing."Well, I was in the area and thought you might be thirsty," Bianca answered and held out a Coke bottle for her to take. "Sorry, there's no tequila in this one," she playfully teased.A split-second passed as Kat debated getting into her car and leaving. She didn't want to talk to anyone. Especially someone who knew what happened. Still, there was a glimmer in her sister's eyes. Concern. Kat hated pity, yet from Bianca, it felt less intimidating. "Damn. And I was so in the mood to table dance." They laughed, and Kat took the drink but hesitated when she noticed bursts of pink mixed with light purple coloring the back of Bianca's hand. "What the hell happened to you?""Oh, you didn't hear?" She chuckled uneasily. "It's a funny story actually. You see, I maybe kinda punched Joey a few times.""What?!" Kat choked out, feeling unnerved at how nonchalant Bianca sounded; punching guys didn’t seem like her at all. That was Kat’s MO, and it dawned on her then that she might not know everything about her sister. "You … you didn't do that for me, did you?""Well, there were multiple reasons," Bianca replied. "First off, he told everyone we were gonna screw after prom, so that started a fire in me that only grew when I saw him punch my boyfriend. And then, of course, I thought it was only right to hit him a third time for you." Kat was stunned. For once in her life, she couldn't think of anything to say and relinquished the job of breaking the silence to Bianca. "Guess I'm not such an open book, am I?” she said. “I can do things other than paint my nails. Although …" Bianca held out her injured hand and stared at it. "It might be a while before I can actually do that again."Nothing in Bianca's tone insinuated that she was tossing blame at Kat, but the nail polish comment still hit home. "I'm ... impressed. That you stood up for yourself. And I'm sorry I didn't trust your judgment and was forceful with you about Joey before, but I'm glad you're with someone actually deserving of your time now." Kat stalled for a moment, pulling in a breath that represented all her pent-up emotions over her ex-boyfriend. An ex Bianca didn't know about. With a loud exhale, she imagined all the resentment she still held for Joey, rushing out of her body. "Joey and I, we … well, we have a sordid past that I'm not ready to divulge just yet.""It's okay. You can tell me when you're ready," Bianca replied, and Kat was grateful. However, seconds later her sister opened up a different festering wound that was just as painful and much more recent. "You know, Patrick's not such an open book either."Kat tried to rein in the acute stabbing pain hearing his name caused inside her chest- stupid heart; stupid emotions- and on reflex, swung her gaze towards Patrick’s car but saw a different one in its place with Bianca's boyfriend inside. Apparently, Patrick had finally taken her advice to get lost. "I don't want to talk about him either," she firmly stated, turning back to Bianca and forcing her face into a blank expression. Nothing that would give away how much she still wanted him. Her heart ... well, that was another story. It continued to pound inside her body like a drum."You don't have to," Bianca assured. "And I'm not going to try and justify what he did either. I just wanted you to know that whatever you decide, I'm here for you. Like a sister should be." She paused to brush her fingers against the pink and purple blooms staining the back of her hand. "Patrick's complicated. He's hard to understand ... but you also shouldn't judge him based on one thing. Sometimes there's more than what's on the surface. Sometimes people can surprise you." A seagull's cry distracted Bianca and she gazed out at the ocean, watching the bird fly off on the horizon. "Remember when mom used to take us here for picnics?" she asked, her voice suddenly sounding far away. "You used to throw your sandwich bread at the gulls and she'd get so mad ... but that was a long time ago," she added, returning to the present. "I'm glad we've always had each other. I don't know what I would've done with only Daddy around for company." Kat chuckled when Bianca stuck out her tongue in disgust."I'm glad you're my sister too," she agreed, smiling as they hugged."Well, I should probably go. Cameron's waiting." Bianca stood, the ocean breeze catching her pink skirt, causing it to billow around her. She pushed it down and Kat caught sight of her sister's blossoming bruise again. "Plus, Daddy will have a cow if I’m late. I'm trying to convince him I'm responsible enough to date, so breaking curfew wouldn’t be a good idea. I'll see you later, okay?""Later. And thanks for the drink," Kat replied, holding up what had obviously been a prop to get her to talk."Anytime."She watched Bianca head towards the car with her boyfriend inside, who waved at Kat when their eyes met. He seemed nice and there really wasn’t any reason that Bianca should be barred from dating him based on an asinine rule from the Stone Age. She’d have to explain to her dad that his need to keep Bianca close would eventually push her away. Cameron was a good guy and her sister deserved to be happy.And so do I she absently thought.After they drove away, Kat stayed a little while longer, before finally leaving at sundown for Club Skunk. There, she spent a few hours ignoring her sorrows by listening to some of her favorite riot grrl bands, then headed home around midnight. Her dad and Bianca were already asleep, and quietly, she crept into her room to begin the tedious job of taking off her prom attire. At first, she didn't notice the book and scrap of paper that had been added to her bed while she was out. It wasn't until her heels were kicked off and her dress lay in a heap on the floor, that Kat even caught sight of her dictionary- missing for weeks now- suddenly found, with a message from the culprit who took it.
I stole this to look up a word and then used it to write poetry. Sorry!!! But I thought maybe you could use it to write something too. It might help. Maybe you could write all the things about Patrick that make you angry. To get it all out. And then look those things over to see if maybe they don't bother you so much after all. Just a thought. Hugs and Kisses!
-Bianca