Work Text
The bright lights of Tokyo shine through the large glass windows of the living room. Bakugou stumbles into the room, slinging off his tie and sinking into the couch. He felt awkward and graceless, never being able to hold his alcohol well.
He sighs and the sound echoes, too loud in the silence. He hated going to parties, but if he wanted people to keep buying his weapons, then he had to go out and talk to them. He had learned early on that people didn't buy his weapons because they were good, which they were of course, but because they had bought him first.
"Welcome home sir, I trust you had a lovely evening out?" a voice calls, seemingly from nowhere.
"Fuck off Asshole, you know very well how I feel about that shit," Bakugou grits out, the energy for shouting having been sapped from him earlier that evening.
They sink into silence. This, Bakugou was used to, silence accompanied him these years, since his mother had given up her business and along with it, her son. Mitsuki Bakugou, the greatest arms dealer in Japan they said, and Bakugou's mother. No love was lost between her and her son. Bakugou sighs, he didn't need to be thinking about the hag now.
His eyes slip shut, waves of tiredness enveloping his senses. He very nearly succumbs to the cloying call of sleep when he remembers, he has work tomorrow.
Gritting his teeth, Bakugou calls out into the still air, "Hey Asshole, what time is it?"
"2.30am sir, you have three hours and a half until work"
"Fuck," Bakugou says quietly, more to himself than anyone else. He hauls himself up, his own body feeling like a dead weight. Rolling his neck out, he sheds his clothes as he shuffles to his bedroom.
He flops onto his bed, sleep overtaking him almost immediately, wearing his underwear and a single forgotten sock
He wakes up slowly, his mind returning to his body from far away, where pigs could fly and elephants were pink. Groaning, he stretches his arms above his head and registers that his coffee machine is working to itself in the kitchen.
"Good morning sir, I put the coffee machine on for you, I hope that is okay," the voice says.
Bakugou makes a grunt of recognition, and rolls himself out of bed, the air whooshing out his lungs when he hits the ground slightly too hard. He untangles himself from the sheet he has somehow managed to knot himself into in the night. He pads into the kitchen, the lone sock still clinging to his foot. Grabbing the cup of coffee that sits underneath the dispenser steaming, he puts some bread into the toaster and pushes it down.
As he stands there leaning against the island, waiting for his toast to pop up, he takes a sip of coffee and grimaces. It was bitter, like always. He didn't know why he expected anything different, he never bothered to get a new machine, instead drinking bitter coffee and wincing at the taste every day like a broken record.
He scowls at his reflection in the coffee cup, the face in the murky liquid copying his expression. Red, hot anger overcame his senses, 'why the fuck do I live like this' he thought, 'my life was supposed to be glamorous, not monotonous and fucking depressing. I'm Bakugou fucking Katsuki and I'm the most successful arms dealer in Japan, I don't need people when I'm the best.' He realised he was crying silent tears into the tar like coffee.
He screamed, a mixture of anger and anguish, it sounded like pure pain. He threw the cup of coffee at the windows on the far side of the kitchen. It shatters against the windows, porcelain shards dropping to the floor. The coffee ran down the windows, thick and viscous, leaving streaks of muddy brown until it pooled on the floor.
Bakugou registered dimly that he could smell burnt toast, but his mind was still swimming with anger. He was jolted out of his reverie by the smoke alarm beeping loudly.
"Shit," he cursed, popping the charred toast up. He picked up the slices, if they could even be called that anymore, and threw them in the bin, ignoring the sting of heat in his hands as he held the toast.
As he wafted the smoke alarm with a tea towel, he realised today was going to be a bad day, if what happened in the kitchen was any indication of what the rest of his day would look like.
"Sir, the invoices from the deal with the Togata Company are on your desk, he expects them by tomorrow you know,"
"Fuck," Bakugou groans, his voice gritty with tiredness, "I'll be there in a minute, Asshole"He walks slowly, stretching his back as he goes. He goes over to the desk and slumps down into the leather desk chair, scrubbing his hand over the stubble on his jaw. Bakugou looks at the massive pile of paperwork. The massive pile of paperwork looks at him (Just kidding, sentient paperwork would be horrible and creepy). He regretted letting it get backed up, but it was hard for him to do all the work on his own. He was one man, doing the jobs that other people had entire companies for. He wondered maybe if he had taken too much onto his plate, perhaps it would be easier if he had people to boss around and do all the work for him. He banished the thought from his brain, he was going to run this company on his own merits, not relying on anyone else."Hey Asshole," Bakugou shouts, "put an ad in the paper for a personal assistant." That would be fine, just one person wouldn't get in his hair and a problem shared was a problem halved right?"Of course sir, is there anything else that you require," the robotic voice asks."A break," Bakugou jokes halfheartedly."I'm sorry sir, but that is not within my capabilities," comes the reply."It was a...... you know what, nevermind," Bakugou sighs and picks the first piece of paper off the pile. He would be lying if he never missed having actual human company, but most people were fucking annoying. And anyway, he was Bakugou fucking Katsuki, Japan's most attractive, powerful and smart male, he didn't need friends when he had admirers.As the sun rose over the awakening city of Tokyo, Bakugou Katsuki settled in to get his paperwork over with. The pink sky illuminated that single man sitting in front of the window, softening his sharp edges and smoothing the crease in his brow. So he sat there, bathed in pale light, still apart from the movement of his pen.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Bakugou looked himself in the mirror while straightening his tie, today was the day he interviewed people for the place of his assistant. He hoped that someone at least worth half his time would turn up, but somehow he doubted that.He scanned the list of names that had scheduled appointments with him there were just five people, Momo Yaoyorozu, Koji Koda, Minoru Mineta, Mina Ashido and.....? Tetsutetsu Tetsutetsu? What the fuck, Bakugou thought, did his parents want him to get bullied or something?None of the names seemed to jump out at him, he supposed there was no point thinking about it now, he would meet them all in a short while."Sir the first interviewee is at the door, shall I let them in?" the voice asked"Whatever Asshole, remember to give them directions to my office, I'll be in there," Bakugou said absent mindedly, giving himself one last cursory glance in the mirror before turning away to walk to his office. It didn't matter that Bakugou thought he'd probably never see them again, his mother had taught him to always make a good first impression, even if you ruined it the next moment by opening your mouth, and the hag's lesson were not things that Bakugou could forget quickly.Sitting down, Bakugou fiddled with the pens that were lined up on his desk, he looked up when he heard a knock."Come in," he said, his voice curt and authoritative.A smartly dressed woman walked into the room, her ponytail swaying slightly as she moved. She seemed nervous but professional and Bakugou decided that she would probably work well with him."Katsuki Bakugou," he said in a short tone and stood up, offering his hand out for her to shake over the desk. She gripped his hand tighter than he expected but he was careful not to let the surprise show on his face.She offers him a small smile and says, "Momo Yaoyorozu, nice to meet you.""Likewise," he gestures at the chair, "I'm not one for small talk so I hope you don't mind that I'm going to skip asking you about the weather.""I didn't think you would Mr Bakugou," she sat with a breathy laugh"First things first, what is your previous experience?" Bakugou asks, pulling a piece of paper toward him."Well my last job was a secretary at the Ingenium agency," she begins and Bakugou hums noncommitedly, "before that I was secretary to the Mitsuki Company."Bakugou's pen stills, "You worked for the hag?" His hand goes up to massage his temples, he could feel a headache coming on.She nods an affirmative and Bakugou sighs, "Fuck, I hope you understand then why I can't hire you, I'm trying to build my business on my own, without being in the shitty hag's shadow. I want people to know I did this on my own merits and so I can't fucking hire someone who worked for the hag."She smiles a small smile, "I thought that might be the case, thank you for your time anyway Mr Bakugou.""No, it's been my pleasure, I think I would have enjoyed working with you but no matter, good luck with future jobs Ms Yaoyorozu" they shake hands one last time over the table and she leaves.Bakugou groans and thunks his head on the table, he found a person that he wouldn't mind working with and then she worked for the shitty hag. His thoughts were interrupted by a scream and suspicious noises outside his office. Jumping up out of his chair, he ran to the door and yanked it open.He was greeted by the sight of a small man? child? with purple hair clinging to Yaoyorozu, "What the fuck is going on here," Bakugou yells, making the small manchild jump."He groped me," squeaked Yaoyorozu and the manchild grinned."Look at those puppies, how could I resist," he said, looking at Yaoyorozu's breasts and drooling. Yaoyorozu crosses her arms over her chest looking uncomfortable."Who the fuck do you think you are," Bakugou growled, hauling the manchild up by the collar of his shirt.The manchild gulped, "Minoru Mineta," he said in a shaky voice."You're Minoru Mineta, well fuckwad, did you really thing it would be a good fucking idea to assault a woman outside your fucking job interview," Bakugou growled shaking Mineta, "Well newsflash asshat, it isn't, now get the fuck out." Bakugou dropped Mineta, who lands hard on his ass and scurried away, looking over his shoulder in fear at Bakugou.Bakugou smirked after him, "Thought fucking not, shitdick," he remembers Yaoyororzu was still standing there, "ahh, are you good? Do you want a coffee or something?""No, I'm fine, just a little shaken, and I'll have to pass on the coffee, I'm meeting my girlfriend in half an hour," she said, smoothing the wrinkles out of her skirt and smiling at Bakugou. "Well, I'll see you around then. Oh, by the way, if you ever see that little shit again, don't hesitate to call me and I will beat him to a fucking pulp," Bakugou said, grinning at her with a dangerous look in his eyes.She giggled, "Ah of course, thank you Mr Bakugou." she left Bakgou, who walked back into his office.A few minutes later Koji Koda arrived, he was a quiet, unassuming man and his interview was uneventful. Bakugou put a question mark next to his name on the list, underneath Yaoyorozu and Mineta's crossed out names.Then he heard two loud knocks on the door, "Come in," and in walked the most stupidly dressed man Bakugou had ever seen. He was dressed head to toe in grey, literally, his hair, shoes, suit, tie, shirt, were all the same monotone grey.Bakugou stared at the man in shock, wondering if he was seeing this correctly, he finally recovered his voice, "Bakugou Katsuki" he stuck his hand out for the man to shakeThe man shook his hand enthusiastically and Bakugou felt like his arm was going to be yanked out its socket, "I'm Tetsutetsu Tetsutetsu," the man said, almost shouting and Bakugou winced at the volume, his headache was coming back.He then narrowed his eyes at Tetsutetsu, "Is this some kind of fucking joke, you say your name's fucking steelsteel steelsteel and then you turn up dressed in all grey. Real fucking funny dude."Tetsutetsu waved his hands around frantically, "Nononnonono, you've got it all wrong bro, that is my name, and I'm wearing all grey because its my lucky colour," he explained.Bakugou sighed, "Right sit down then, straight to business, what is your previous experience?"Tetsutetsu smiled, showing off his mouth full of sharp teeth, "I currently work in a corner shop as the till assistant."Bakugou dropped his head into his hands and groaned before looking back up at the man sat across from him, "Let me get this straight, you currently work in a shop, and you've come to me wanting a job as a personal assistant, you realise most other people have experience as a secretary or someone else's assistant?" Tetsutetsu nodded."Why?" Bakugou asked, feeling at his wit's end.Tetsutetsu shrugged, "No harm in giving it a go is there, I might get lucky."Bakugou thunked his head against his desk for the second time today "No harm in....., you know what, I'm fucking done, good luck somewhere else because you are not getting this job."Tetsutetsu smiled, seemingly not getting the rudeness, "Well, thanks anyway man." He stood up and offered his hand out for Bakugou to shake, when it was ignored he retracted his hand and walked out the office."God fucking dammit, one person left," Bakugou said, his head still on his desk.Bakugou almost felt glad when Mina Ashido didn't turn up for her scheduled appointment, the less idiots he had to deal with in one day the better.He was about to get up and leave his office to go make himself lunch when he heard a knock on his door. Sighing deeply he walked over to the door and yanked it open, "You're..", late he intended to say, but trailed off when he found himself face to chest with a man built like a brick wall. His shirt was stretched tightly over his shoulders, and Bakugou found himself surprised that the buttons on his shirt stayed closed over his impressive chest.Bakugou only realised he was staring when the man cleared his throat uncomfortably, "You're not Mina Ashido," he said in the end, making eye contact through his embarrassment.The man reached up and rubbed the back of his neck, his cheeks scrunching up in an apologetic smile, "I'm Eijirou Kirishima, nice to meet you."