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The door to his new room shut with force. And the smell of cigarettes was still thick in the air. Alejandro breathed in some smoke and was forced into a coughing fit.
It reminded him of last week's event.
The 6 other kids in the small room watched him from their bunk beds. As the coughing fit settled he could see a small bed in the corner for him. There weren’t anymore bunk beds.
One boy with dark skin and short dreadlocks chuckled.
“You won’t last one day in here.” He jumped down from the bed, surprising the skinny red haired girl under him. He walked towards Alejandro who flinched, so the boy stopped and stood a few feet away. Then in a quieter voice he said,
“Hi. My real name is Abubakar. People here call me Abe though, it's more
American
.” He snarled a bit.
“They change your name when you get here if it isn’t white enough, they said that it will help you fit in better.” He made air quotes and Alejandro chuckled.
“But when I am old enough I’m changing it back. I’m proud to be Nigerian!” He said as he puffed out his chest.
“What’s your name?” Abe said with a smile. Alejandro thought for a second.
“Bueno mi nombre solía ser Alejandro” Alejandro blushed.
“S-sorry I mean. Uh. My name is Alejandro McLain but they said Lance is better.” Lance said with such a think Cuban accent that it seemed Abe strained to understand him. It wasn’t his fault though, he had only heard a bit of English before he had to use it. Abe put his hand on Lances shoulder as Lance suppressed a flinch.
“Yeah, I don't want to hurt your feelings but… you really gotta learn English. They are gone destroy you if you don't sound American.” Alejan-
Lance
nodded. Abe smiled wide.
“Let me introduce you to everyone!”
——
Lance was snapped out of his flashback by snapping fingers in his face. He pushed the hand away and looked up. Pidge was glaring at him with an annoyed look but no hate behind her eyes.
“Listen to the princess, this is important!” He apologized and turned his attention to the princess. She returned her gaze to the group.
“As I was saying… this planet is extremely dangerous. There will be galra soldiers crawling all over it. Our mission is to get to the control room, disable the defense mechanisms, and shut off the entire system. That way pidge can get all the information she needs.” They all nodded. Allura turned to Shiro.
“What’s our battle plan shiro?” He nodded and stepped up.
“We are going to split up, Lance, pidge, and hunk are going to control room and shut it off. Me, Keith, Allura, and the ship are going to give them a big distraction to sneak in with the green lion. We will also cover you when you leave the planet.”
They all nodded and got set up.
Lance’s hands were still a little shaky from the memory, it felt so real. That was the best and worst week of his life, losing one family and gaining another. He still missed Abe the most. I wonder if he ever changed his name back, or lived long enough to get the chance… Lance shuddered and ran after Pidge and Hunk who were already walking over to the green lion.
When he reached them Hunk looked over at him as he walked.
“Hey you ok lance? You’ve been kind of out of it today? Anything wrong?” Lance let out a silent breath and smiled wide at him.
“It’s just a special day! I can never forget today!!” He said and before the two of them could say anything else Lance rushed ahead to the lion and climbed in. He quickly got settled before they came in and put his head in his hands.
Theycantknowtheycantknowtheycantknowthey-
He heard footsteps from the ramp and quickly rubbed the sadness out of his expression and stood up. Pidge and Hunk walked in and glanced at his strained smile, then they walked towards the other seats. Pidge sat in the pilot seat and Hunk sat opposite from him on the other bench. Pidge muttered something about
special day my ass
.
“Ok whatever you say Lance. Let's just get this mission over with…”
——
The mission had been a totally success! Pidge had gotten all the info and she found a tidbit about Matts wearabouts! She was all puppies and smiles for the rest of the ride back. Lance was really glad she got the information, but he couldn't help thinking about what day it was…
When they got back to the castle shiro and allura were already back and they congratulated them on the victory. Allura was a little more quiet than usual, and lance noticed her in the back.
“Hey are you ok Allura?”
“Hmm? Oh yes I’m fine lance. I’m just tired for the excitement of the mission.” Lance shrugged it off and joined the rest of the team.
After a few hours the team (other than coran) decided to celebrate by making cocoa. Or the space equivalent. Hunk had found some sweet beans a few planets ago, and after trying a few times he made a thin liquid that was purple with blue steam, but tasted just like hot cocoa. They didn’t have marshmallows but they would have to do.
Shiro also brought some fluffy blankets from a storage closet and draped them over the couch, then turned off the lights except for a small lamp on the table.
It was very peaceful.
Pidge was snuggled up in between hunks arms and legs as they sat on the side of the couch. Shiro was next to them in the corner, sipping his cocoa. Keith beside him, guzzling his cocoa. Allura was in the middle of the couch, with a fortress of pillows around her. And lance was on the other side. Maybe his legs were too long, or the couch was to small, but his legs reached all the way to pidge, who was playing with his leg, raising it up a bit, and dropping it so it could bounce on then cushion.
Lance didn't mind, he loved it actually. This reminded him of the time that him, Abe, and his other friends curled up on the couch once. They were beaten for that, the couch was for adults. They got the floor.
Lance looked down and saw little patches of his blanket darken, teardrops.
When had he started crying? Lance shifted and rubbed his eye with his wrist and sniffed. Pidge looked up from her cup.
“Lance are you okay? Your crying.” Everyone else looked at lance. He blushed and quickly rubbed the tears out of his eyes.
“Y-yeah.” Lance sniffed. “Yes I’m fine. This just reminds me of when I was little.” Shiro took a sip of his cocoa.
“Do you want to talk about it? If your crying it’s probably an important memory.” Lance sighed, he never thought of it like that. Well if that was the rule, were most of his memories important? He shuddered.
“Well this moment just remind me of when me, Abe, and the rest of my family snuggled up on the couch like this. I just…” Lance sniffed. “I just
really
miss them.” His voice cracked a bit on one of the words so lance cleared his throat and took a big sip of his cocoa, burning his tongue.
Don’t show weakness. A man never cries.
Allura repositioned herself a bit under the pillows.
“That reminds me of what I was thinking about before. I wish that my father was here, with us right now.” Hunk smiled.
“He would be so proud of you.” Allura smiled under the pillows.
“I miss my family also.” Keith said quietly, he was making his cocoa swirl around the side of his mug, without actually spilling it.
“Me to…” Pidge muttered. Everyone nodded and quieted down. Lance looked at everyone. They were all down.
“Hey. Do you guys know what my family used to do when someone felt down?” Pidge and Keith looked up.
“My older sister came up with a little jingle she would sing to us. I still remember it, I sing it to myself all the time. Want me to sing it?” He asked slowly. Everyone was looking at him now.
Shiro nodded. “That would be good.” Lance cleared his throat and looked down at his swirling portal of cocoa. And the eerie tune began.
When you've bungled all your bangles
And your loved ones have been mangled
Listen to the jingle jangle
Of my gypsy tambourine
Cause these chords are hypnotizing
And the whole world's harmonizing
So please children stop your crying
And just sing along with me
He repeated the melody. Lance's voice seemed to weave around them. The dark lyrics, slow rhythm, and upbeat tune made their spine tingle and the hair on their neck stand. But his voice was beautiful still, It was like listening to a harp. Perfect.
When you've bungled all your bangles
And your loved ones have been mangled
Listen to the jingle jangle
Of my gypsy tambourine
Cause these chords are hypnotizing
And the whole world's harmonizing
So please children stop your crying
And just sing along with me
At the end he looked up and saw tears in Keith’s eyes. He looked around and saw everyone tearing up. Lance rushed to apologize.
“Guys oh god I’m sorry. That was supposed to be helpful, not make it worse…” Lance bit his thumb. Idiot! Why did you think that would be a good idea! STUPID!
Hunk shook his head. “No lance, I’m not crying because it’s sad, your voice and that song.. its so perfect.” Everyone nodded and Lance sighed.
“Thanks guys. It really helps me out too. It helps me remember my… my family.” At the thought of his other roommates lance quieted down. It had been exactly three years since he had seen them. He had been particularly distant today because today was a special day. The best and worst day of his life.
He met his family… but he joined
the orphanage
. It wasn’t even an orphanage, sure it was called that but no child had ever been adopted, they just got to old and moved out. It was more of a jail really.
Even if he didn't miss that hellhole that was the orphanage, he would never forget the first kindness that his family gave him. Not his real family, but his family at the orphanage. Abe, Chloe and Chris, Marcella, Helen, and alec, those were the people he had a room with, they were the most important people in his life. Lance looked back up at the paladins.
He guzzled the rest of his now cold cocoa and careful got up as to not disturb anyone. The paladins looked up again.
“Are you going to bed lance?” Allura asked. Lance nodded and put his mug on the table.
“Yes it's been a long day and I’m going to go to bed. Thanks for the cocoa hunk!” Lance smiled and walked out.
When he was out of sight he sighed and walked down the hallway. It really had been a long day.
“...-eally? Ya did you guys notice how
dark
those lyrics were?” Lance paused at the sound of Pidge voice, and silently took a step backwards so he could overhear better. Were they talking about his song?
“... yes they were very dark. What does lance mean when he says, and all your loved ones have been mangled? Did that happen to him?” He heard pidge move a bit.
“No he said his family taught him that song, so obviously it wasn’t about him.” Shiro spoke up.
“We should get some rest. Lets ask lance in the morning.” He heard everyone murder and start to get up. So he quietly escaped to his room.
It wasn’t anyone’s business what his past was! Lance kept his dark past a secret because he didn't want the team to pity him, and he definitely didn’t want them to look at him differently. It’s just that today of all days brings back those terrible memories. Of the fire, the bodies… that man's body. Lance felt shivers down his spine, lets not think about the men now, it's time to sleep.
That night he had a nightmare of going back to the orphanage again, lance woke up and cried the rest of the night.