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Just a raccoon

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You're sitting at home watching YouTube on TV because it's much more fun to choose what you get to watch. All of a sudden you hear a loud, almost matalic.....tapping? at the back screen door. It's probably the trash pandas. Those motherfuckers. You reluctantly get up, moving the nearly-five blankets wrapped around you onto the couch.As you make your way to the back door, the tapping speeds up, desperately almost. "Okay. So, from what I've gathered, this is dangerous territory. I shouldn't open this door; I could get attacked. Do I care? No. Am I going to die eventually anyway? Yes. I'm pretty sure I can handle a couple of raccoons tho-" Your words to yourself are cut off while you twist the handle due to the body slamming you to the ground. A chalk-white hand clasps over your mouth and their leg closes the door, the other straddling you. There's something pointy and cold against your neck which you conclude to be a knife when a cut-smile adorned face looks down at you.Your (e/c) orbs widening not only in surprise but in confusion and slight fear. A loud, startling pounding comes from the back door, the figure on top of you letting out a string of quiet curses "Fucking fuckity fuck." he looks angry for a moment but then prepared. "Listen carefully if you don't want to choke to death on your own blood." the knocks ensue once again "You're going to answer that door with a smile and act surprised, pretend like I'm not here, and send them off. In return, I might let you live." You try to stay calm as he moves off of you, his bloody knife against your back. The knocking gets louder, the door beginning to shake. You start internally panicking and smile, opening the door just enough to see police officers armed with guns and on alert "Excuse us, sorry to bother you but have you seen or heard anything strange in the last few minutes? There's a very dangerous man around this area and we're afraid he's armed." You debate in your head what to do. On one hand, you could turn the crazed man behind your door in and die, but everyone else will be safe, however, on the other hand, you could probably talk him out of killing you and stay alive. You have to stay alive, the police might lose this freak again and everyone in town will die. You snapped out of your state to the man asking you if you're okay with a suspicious eye "Of course, sir." A believable smile plasters on your face. 'I KNEW BEING IN DRAMA DURING HIGH SCHOOL WOULD HELP ONE DAY' your mind screams as you kindly turn the police away with an "I'm sorry I can't help you, Officers. I thought I heard someone run by my house but other than that, It's been pretty qui-" the policemen cut you off with a quick thank you before running off desperately. You close the door and your smile quickly vanishes due to the man shoving you against the wall where he was residing previously. His red covered knife is against your stomach and you bite the inside of your cheek to not start crying. Fuck being a man, this shit scary as fUcK. He smirks as if he knows what your thinking as his hand tightens on your mouth "You're gonna be good and not scream, Right? Normally I'd encourage it but the cops aren't far enough away and I gotta stay hidden till the heat calms down." You're (h/l) hair accompanies your head, shaking side to side to say no. He reluctantly let's go and steps back. "Just don't piss me off and we'll both be fine. I need you alive in case the cops come back. That's it." You nod and quietly try to think of some kind of excuse to get away and gather your thoughts and course of actions from here until you get rid of him. You start walking to your bathroom, the smiling creepo looking around at your house notices "Where the fuck you goin?" You turn around with an annoyed look "I'm taking a piss. Why? Do you want to join for something?" The man squints at you "No. That's gay." You reply snarkily and continue to the restroom "No shit, Sherlock." You enter the bathroom, sitting on the edge of the tub in your grey sweats, wondering where you went wrong while the killer continues exploring your house. It takes a moment to calm down before walking back out of the small room and into the living room, deciding to just act like he's a normal person for your own sanity. "Names (y/n), Yours? I figured we might as well get to know the basics if you're gonna be here for a few hours."The taller male looks at you, almost shocked that you want to talk. Either that or he's missing eyelids... Hopefully the first assumption. He's quieter now, his voice now sounding raspy and his throat dry."Jeff."

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After hearing his name, you think 'I've heard this shit somewhere before, I swear to god' as he stares at you like he's waiting for you to say something.Maybe you should find out who he is? He might be on the internet, Right? That's where most serial killers information is found. "And your full name is Jeff?" he stares blankly at you still "Obviously not. It's Jeff The Killer." You grunt "You know what, fine, I'm not even fazed by this shit anymore. Just watch out for my cat, she'll probably want to meet you, don't kill her while I'm making popcorn or I'll have to be really mad at you. Her name is Becka." he tilts his head to the side a bit, his black, nearly shoulder length hair moving with him. For being a murderer, his hair seemed really soft and well taken care of-His mocking snaps you back into reality "You gonna stare all night or are you gonna tell me what the popcorns for?" It clicks in your head "Oh, yeah, uh, pick out a movie. Just hit the Netflix button on the remote, it's red and at the top" he does so and you walk out to the kitchen, your hair a bit messy but in a cute way so you don't bother fixing it.Popcorn is pulled out of the cabinet and put in the microwave while you get on Google with your phone. It seems to make sense to Google 'Jeff The Killer' You do so and find a LOT of results. There's a body looming around over your shoulder so you turn around to see Jeff "Wait, no, I want to see what Google says about me" You reluctantly turn back around to continue your searching. A lot of fanart shows up, it looks pretty good for the most part but you have to find out more about this dude other than his looks and you'll be damned if you have to say it so you click on something that's talking about his life? You forget what it's called but you know what it is. "It says you have black hair, you're about 6 foot, around 19-ish and goes into detail about your face." he nods to everything but stops at the face part."What do you mean 'your face'? I look pretty good if I do say so myself" you tilt your head side to side as if debating it "I mean, you aren't ugly but you aren't but the hottest person to walk the earth." he sighs but your eyes go wide at the phone "Wait! It says you live at some kind of Slender Mansion?!"He doesn't look like he trusts you now "Uh...Yeah, why?" your eyes light the fuck up "Oh my god, I knew he was real, I fuckin knew it! I played the game and got super into it so I did some digging on him hoping to find proof he was real but holy fuckeroni and geez" Jeff takes a step back, not wanting to get pummeled by you during your fanboying.You froze "Oh..." he looks suspicious of you now "Oh what?" You scratch your neck nervously "I remember you from when I was looking him up, you and a bunch of other names popped up during the google-fest and I just bypassed them" he feigns being hurt "Oh wow, I'm so hurt by this, how could you, (y/n)? You've ruined my whole day, boohoo." You squint at him annoyedly and take the popcorn out of the microwave, pouring it into a bowl all while squinting at him and not breaking eye contact."I don't want to hear it, I had a knife at my throat half an hour ago thanks to your Joker lookin ass." he lowkey threatens you "It'll happen again if you keep comparing me to that green bean haired motherfucker" You gasp, walking into the living room "How dare you insult my sweet purple boi" he sits down on the other side of the couch from you after having followed out to the sofa "He's barely any good at what he does! He got put all over the news because he was dumb enough to rob a bank! Why rob a bank when you can just kill and loot people" You stare at him as if he just said the dumbest thing ever "You- Wait, did you just say loot? You play video games?" Jeff nods like you're the one who's nuts "What else am I supposed to do when Ben and Ej and Toby don't leave me alone?! They really piss me off sometimes and I don't want to slender to kill me just because I fucking kill one of THEM so I take out some of my frustration on games" You stare at him as he vents, basically watching as the anger seeps away from him "Tell me more about these guys who piss you off"Jeff groans "Oh Jesus, Don't even get me started. To put them all shortly, Toby has Tourettes, Ej is sarcastic as FUCK when he DOES talk and Ben is literally the bane of my existence sometimes, he's a fucking cyber fairy Zelda looking misfit but that doesn't mean I hate him. I don't hate any of them to be honest, they just bug me sometimes." You nod "I understand. So everyone had quirks right? What are theirs?" The other male thinks for a moment "Well EJ got turned into a demon I think and he's a cannibal..Uh...I think Ben got sucked into and killed in a video game and Toby...killed his dad? I think? and went crazy because of Slender? I don't really remember. I only remember EJ's because when we go on sprees, he fucking cuts open his prey to take out the kidneys. It's lowkey weird but like, not my business what he eats"You thought about what he said "Understandable. So what movie did you pick?" he shrugs "Its called Saw, kinda caught my eye" You laugh, which visibly surprises him, but you're too busy laughing to notice.Maybe it was because he said it in a really gay way or maybe it was because the movie banner was of an eyeball just laying on a floor.But either way,with you not looking,the side of his mouth still quirked up in half smile.

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When the movie ended and popcorn had migrated to everywhere, I was on my feet, remembering something that could fuck me over, but Jeff knew. "Yeah, I gotta hit up my friend, they planned on coming over and it's, uh, probably not a good idea right now." Jeff stares at me intently, or maybe it's the whole missing-eyelids thing. "Are you gonna try to call for help or something stupid like that? or can I pick another movie." I laugh a little, amused by how he'd rather watch a movie than kill me. It's almost endearing. "No, that's kinda why I'm telling them to stay away. If I let them come over, we'd both die and you'd probably run away. Thanks, but I'm good with watching horror movies with a serial killer." the idiot just turns his attention back to the tv and nods a little, finding a new movie to watch. I, being smart, walk into the kitchen to text my friend, telling them something came up and I'll need a raincheck. Buuuuut they call. Fuck. I have to answer or they'll literally come over with no warning. Jeff is already by the doorway. Yay. This isn't gonna go well. I answer. "Y/N, dude, what the fuck, man. We -planned- this." I hum, trying to find words that won't give me away "I know, I know, I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you, promise." they sound tired now "Ok, but what's got you so busy that even -I- can't come over?" I freeze a little "Becka's sick. She's puking all over the place and I have to keep her on some stupid meds, so a sleepover would be pretty bad. Y'know, waking up with cat puke on you, waking up to the hacking. Nasty stuff." I hear them laugh on the other end "Sounds like your hands are full." I scoff and glance over to Jeff, who's staring with the power of a thousand burning suns and holding back some laughter from what I can tell "Yeah, full as fuck. But it's cool, helping cats out is my specialty." my friend sends their condolences and hangs up laughing. I set my phone down and feel my soul leave my body. At least I can chill with Jeff now, try to not think about whether or not I'm going to die. So he asks a few questions, but I stop him "Nope. No fair. If you get to ask questions, so do I." he gives me a look, like 'I'm able to kill you so easily and you're making demands? m'kay, yeah, sure' but he relents. We sit down and I'm first. Damn, what do I want to know?

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Looking him in the eyes, you huff and start asking "Okay, so who was your favorite kill and why?"  Jeff stares at you like you're stupid for a moment but then he looks like he's actually thinking about it. "I forget the name, something super generic and shit, but he was surprisingly a real screamer. The voice on that guy was insane, hit really high notes and everything. And he even though he didn't put up much of a fight, he tried to run, which was fun as hell." It's Jeff's turn, and he gets a little personal "What's your relationship with your family like?" Oh shit, uhhh, fuck "I have a brother, Gabriel, he's 15, so we're pretty close. Our dads aren't in the picture. Mom's been doing good for 45, but we aren't close, arguments and whatever." You have a great question "Do you ever wish you were a normal person, like a nobody?" He looks upset now. Fuck. "Yeah, actually. I'm happy I can do what I love but sometimes I wish I could just disappear. Be regular. I'm a dick when I'm at the mansion so people don't like me but I can't control it." Wasn't expecting that, hot damn. He actually opened up. But before you can ponder it, he asks his question "Why didn't you scream or try to run when you saw me? Why didn't you try to tell the cops? Weren't you scared?" You laugh "You can be pretty scary, not gonna lie, but I dunno. Maybe I was desperate, lonely, but I guess, looking back on it, I just didn't wanna be alone. Y'know?" He nods, understanding. "I don't think they're lookin for me so hard anymore so I'm gonna go soon. I still got time for a few more questions though. I'm not gonna kill you yet but I'll know if you decide to ramble on about me to someone. We'll have some dead bodies on our hands then, won't we." You nod submissively before some more questions pop into your head.

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