Work Text
I can’t help but wonder if I knew what I knew now if I would go back and do things differently seven months ago. Part of me would like to say I would change everything, but then the other part of me wouldn’t change anything. I was six months pregnant and living in a safe house hidden from the world. I had met Bucky a little over seven months ago and within the two weeks of knowing him we started sleeping together and that’s how I ended up in this situation. We started out just casually dating, but everything changed when he found out he knocked me up. He kind of held me at arm’s length and ask me to stay in a safe house with him.Sitting at the kitchen table I had a cup of chamomile tea in front of me. I was blankly staring at a book on the table that I had been trying to read. I was bored out of my mind and waiting for Bucky to arrive so I would have someone to talk to. Most of my days were spend reading random books or baking. It wasn’t like I had much to do in the small apartment on the outskirts of town.When Bucky found out I was pregnant he kind of panicked. He was terrified of Hydra tracking down his child and hurting them or taking them. So, his plan was for no one to know about me. Not even his Avengers team mates knew about me. I didn’t understand how he planned to keep the baby hidden after it was born, but honestly, I didn’t even know if he was going to be in the baby’s life. We weren’t nearly as close as we had been when we were dating and I didn’t even know if we were actually still together at this point. Bucky treated me like I was made of glass and didn’t even touch me anymore. Half the nights he would sleep on the couch and I would take the room. I’m pretty sure he resents me for getting pregnant. He wasn’t abusive at all physically or emotionally. He just wasn’t there like he used to be.When I was younger and imagined myself pregnant I always thought I would maybe be married or at least in a long-term relationship where I was happy. I sure as hell never expected to get knocked up by a guy I didn’t know that well. I definitely didn’t expect to have to hide away from the world during my pregnancy.The door opening brings me out of my thoughts. Looking up I find Bucky slowly walking in. He doesn’t even bother saying anything to me he just walks right off towards bathroom.Looking down at my book I listen quietly to hear if the shower is going to start running. Within moment I hear the water and just shake my head a little at how predictable he had grown.Glancing at the clock I see it’s six thirty and I realized that I hadn’t eaten since breakfast. Closing my book, I slowly stand up and stretch a little bit. Slowly I walked into the kitchen and looked in the fridge to find something to cook for us for dinner.I started pulling together the stuff to make up pasta. I was in my own little world cooking when I heard Bucky walk towards me.“Hey Bucky,” I said speaking first.“How’s the baby?” he asked looking down at quite round stomach.“They’re doing good,” I reached down and rested my hand on my stomach. In the last few days I had seemed to pop. I had made the choice in the beginning that didn’t want to know if I was having a boy or a girl. I wanted to be surprised when they were born. “I have a doctor’s appointment in three days,” I looked up to try to judge his reaction. He had never gone to an appointment with me because he didn’t want anyone to know he was having a child.“I leave for a mission in two day,” he sighed leaving against the table.I didn’t want him to go on this mission but it wasn’t my place to ask him to stay. I knew him going away was part of the job, but the further along I got in this pregnancy the less I liked being alone. Even if when he was home we didn’t interact much. I just liked the safe feeling of having someone here with me.“How long is the mission going to be?” I asked as I started plating our dinner.He ran his fingers through his long hair and sighed, “It’s going to be three days. If you don’t feel safe I can move you into the Avengers compound and have you guarded.”I knew deep down that wasn’t an option. He didn’t want even his team mates knowing about me. The whole point of this safe house was to keep me a secret.“I can go stay with my sister and her husband if you don’t feel safe with me living alone.”My sister, her husband and my mother were the only person who knew I was having a child other than Bucky. The only thing they didn’t know was who was the father. I lied to both of them and just told them it was a guy I had a one-night stand with.“I would feel better you staying with your sister,” he said reaching over grabbing the plate of pasta I sat in front of him.“Okay I call her and tell her I’m gonna visit for three days. I’ll ask her to go to the doctors with me.”Walking over I sat down at the kitchen table across from him. We ate in awkward silence. I had no clue how we had actually got to this point in our lives. We were the complete opposite of when we had first started dating, and honestly, I hated it with a passion. I missed what we use to have so much. Even if it was causal and fun at least I felt like he really cared about me.Looking down at my food as I slowly ate I could feel his icy blue eyes staring at me.“Will you keep me updated while I’m away?”I was caught off guard by him seeming as if he cared about me all the sudden. I knew deep down he cared about me but he never acted like he did anymore.Nodding my head, and softly said, “of course.”The night went by quickly and before bed I went to take a quick shower. After showering I went off to our bedroom. I found Bucky laying on the bed on top of the covers, he had a book in his hand and seemed very lost in whatever he was reading. I didn’t bother saying anything to him I just crawled into my side of the bed. I looked over at Bucky who didn’t even knowledge the fact I had gotten into bed. Turning onto my side so my back was facing him. Reaching over turned off my light that was on the nightstand by me.“Goodnight Bucky,” I said closing my eyes“Goodnight Zoey,” he whispered.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
He walked into my apartment and didn’t bother saying anything he just roughly connected his lips to mine. I couldn’t help the moan that passed my lips as he reached for the button on my jeans.Pulling his lips away from mine he started kissing down my jaw towards my neck.“It’s good to see you too Bucky,” I joked as he nipped at my neck.“I want to show you how much I missed you,” he murmured against my neck.He had just gotten back from a two day mission and came straight over to my place. We had been barely sleeping together less then a week and he came straight to my place to rip off my clothes.A moan passed my lips as he bit then licked my neck. He pulled away with a smirk on his face as he pulled down my jeans.“Get naked,” he all but growled.Slowly I started unbuttoning my blouse and said, “what no please?”He raises his and stepped towards me putting his lips by my ear and whispered, “pretty please.”A shiver went down my spine at his words. I was silent as I started to take my clothes off. Bucky smirked as he made quick work of getting his own clothes off.The second we were both naked he connected his lips to mine again but this time much more gentle. Our lips danced as he slowly moved us toward the back of my couch.Pulling his lips away from mine he smiled and said, “bend over and hold on to the couch.”I was silent and just gave him a nod. I bend over and rested my hands on the back of the couch and turned back to see Bucky kneeling behind me. I took a deep breath anticipating what was about to happen.His metal hand gripped my ass as I slowly felt his tongue run along my slit. I couldn’t help that loud moan that passed it lips at the sensation of his tongue on me. He skillfully used his tongue on my sensitive numb and worked to add his fingers to the mix. It didn’t take much work before I all but screaming his name as he sent me over the edge.“I see you enjoyed that,” he said as I was a panting mess. “I hope your ready for another one.”I turned back to see him grinning as he lined up with my entrance. He was never this dominant but god was I a fan of it. He rolled his hips into mine and moaned loudly as I gripped the back of the couch tightly. We had had sex quite a bit in the last week but we had never done it outside the bedroom, and this was an experience for the books.Tightly he gripped my hips as he slowly thrust into me over and over again. The slow pace was killing me but it felt so deliciously good I didn’t want it to stop.“Bucky,” I moaned loudly as I was getting close to the edge again.“Baby girl,” he groaned thrusting harder.I could tell he was starting to get closer because he was getting slightly sloppy.“I’m close,” I whined.He thrusted into me a few more times before sending me over he edge.I screamed his name probably loud enough that my neighbors were probably familiar with his name and he thrust into me probably five more times when he finished.Resting my elbows on the back of the couch panting I closed my eyes trying to steady my breath. I felt his warm lips press a kiss on my lower back as he pulled out of me.“I missed you,” he sighed.“I missed you too.”———————I sat in my sisters spare bedroom just thinking about the night I managed to make a baby with Bucky. It probably would have been a smart idea to maybe remind him to use a condom, but my dumb ass was so caught up in the moment I didn’t think about it. We had unprotected sex in my living room like a couple of horny teenagers instead of the smart adults we should have been.The bedroom door opening snapped me out of my thoughts. Looking up I found my sister standing at the foot of the double bed I was sitting on.“You know you can always come and move in with Henry and I right,” Lyla said sitting down on the edge of the bed.She had brought this up before and even my mom suggested I moved back home after they found out about my unexpected pregnancy. They had just assumed I had been living alone. They didn’t know about the whole me living in a safe house with Bucky situation.“I’m gonna be fine,” I lied. I had no clue I was gonna be fine. Hell I didn’t even know what was going to happen after I had this baby.“Well If you ever want to move in please don’t hesitate to ask. Henry and I will move you in no questions asked.” She was my older sister and she always tried her best to look after me and this was her way of doing it.“Thank you Lyla,” I smiled. I hated lying to her about the Bucky situation but honestly I didn’t have a choice.“How did the doctors go today?”“It went well the little one is very healthy and strong,” I said as rested my hand on my stomach.“That’s great Zoey. I can’t wait to be an aunt,” she smiled.—————My time with Lyla went by quickly and soon enough it was the day Bucky was coming home from his mission. I left Lyla and Henry’s house in the morning and did the forty-five minute drive to my apartment I shared with Bucky. I knew I should be arriving at the apartment before Bucky but honestly I want a little bit of time to adjust to be back in the safe house before he joined me.Walking inside took my duffle bag of clothing and carried it off to my bedroom I sometimes shared with Bucky. I sat on my side of the bed and reached inside and pulled out the book I had been reading and sat it on my nightstand. I headed off into the kitchen to find something to make myself for breakfast. Before I could even open the refrigerator I heard the front door open. I looked up to find Bucky staring at me.“I didn’t expect you home so early.” I sighed.“We got back earlier then expect, and I was hoping you would be home.” He said as he slowly walked towards me.I leaned against the kitchen counter and studied him for a moment. He had the same look on his face he use to have when we sleeping together when he would come home from missions. He looked like he wanted to rip my clothes off but at the same time he looked scared.“You okay Bucky?” I asked trying to figure out was going on in his mind.Slowly he nodded his head as he scratched the back of his neck with his flesh hand. “Yeah I was just worried about you.”“I’m okay. I was safe the whole time you were gone,” I sighed.“Why didn’t you reach out to me while I was gone?” he sounded hurt by the fact I didn’t text or call when he was away. This was the first time he had ever asked me to stay in contact and didn’t even bother reaching out to him because I didn’t think he honestly cared.Shrugging my shoulders I said, “I guess I didn’t think you would mind if I didn’t reach out.”He pushed his eyebrows together and took a step towards me before suddenly stopping before taking another, “I worried about you the whole time I was gone.”I couldn’t figure out what was going on in his mind. He looked like he want to hug me or something but at the same time his face looked scared. It was almost as if he was afraid he was going to break me.“You were worried about me?” I asked because I honestly thought he didn’t care about me at all in more.He nodded his head.“I’ll contact you next time,” I pursed my lips together.“Thank you.”“Are you hungry?” I asked attempting to cut some of the tension that had formed between the two of us.“Yeah I am.”“Why don’t you go take a shower and I’ll make breakfast?” I knew when he got home from missions the first thing he always liked to do was shower. I was also attempting get him to just leave the room so I could have a moment to gather myself after whatever had just happened between us.“Alright,” he said before walking down the hallway to the bathroom.The day went by quickly after we ate breakfast. Bucky spent most of it at home reading while I sat in the living room watching cheesy romantic comedies. Bucky started reading at the kitchen table and then moved to sitting next to me on the couch.The movie had just ended that I was watching and looked over at the clock to see that it was ten at night. The day had seemed to fly by and it was already time for bed.“I’m gonna go to bed,” I sighed as I stood up slowly stretching.“Alright I’ll be in later,” he said glancing up from my book.I headed off to bed and did my nightly routine crawled into bed. I was exhausted and knew I wouldn’t be able to stay awake long. I was attempting to wait for Bucky to come to bed but before he could get in bed I fell asleep.The sound of rain outside my bedroom window woke me. Slowly I reached over for Bucky but was greeted to an empty bed. Looking over at my alarm clock I saw it was three in the morning. He should have been in bed hours ago.Slowly I got out of bed and walked into the living room to see that Bucky was sound sleep on the couch. He had gotten dressed for bed and got blankets and made himself a bed on the couch. It made my heart hurt to see that he would rather sleep on the couch then with me.Walking back into our room I slowly crawled back into bed attempting to fight off the tears that were fighting to cry. I didn’t want to cry over him but here we were. Closing my eyes I drifted off to sleep heart broken.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Lying in bed naked curled up to Bucky I couldn’t help but smile. My head was resting on his chest and I was, enjoying my last few minutes of bliss before he left to go on another mission. He had only been home two days between missions and I was trying to spend as much time as I possibly could with him.Aimlessly he I felt his cool metal finger draw random circles on my freckled covered back. We could of laid in bed for hours and I wouldn’t care.I sat up quickly at the feeling that I was gonna throw up. I didn’t say anything I just jumped out of bed grabbed my robe that was on the floor, and ran off to the bathroom and started puking.With my head in the toilet I heard the bathroom door open and felt a warm hand on my back as I continued to puke.Lifting my head I found him giving me a caring smile. “You okay Zoey?” he asked.“Yeah I think the sushi I ate yesterday was bad.”Standing up I put the lid down on the toilet down and sat down as he leaned against the counter.“I have to leave for my mission right now but I don’t want to leave you while you’re throwing up.”“I’m fine I just ate something bad,” I stood up and walked towards him.“Are you sure?”I nodded and he gave me a smile.“Alright let me know if you start feeling sick while I’m away,” he reached over and pulled me into his chest.“I will,” I smiled. ——————————He hadn’t slept in bed with me in a week and I laid in bed staring at his side of the bed. He had been at work for probably four hours and I just couldn’t seem to get out of bed. I couldn’t bring myself to want to get out of bed. I felt oddly broken about him not even being able to share a bed with me anymore. All my wild emotions I was having probably had something to do with pregnancy hormones, but I didn’t care. I was so hurt. I didn’t know what I did to push him away like I had seemed to do with me not messaging him while he was gone.I don’t know why I was even putting up with him at the moment. Maybe I should take my sister up on her offer and move in with her and give Bucky Scott free pass out to this mess we were living in.Soon I wouldn’t need anyone other then me and this baby. They were gonna be there for me no matter what and I was gonna be there for them.I wanted to crawl out of bed and start packing my bags but for some reason I couldn’t bring myself to. I wanted to try to fix whatever was wrong with Bucky and I even though I didn’t even know what had went wrong.I spent most of the day just wallowing in self pity. I had only got out of bed to eat lunch, and as soon as I finished I crawl back in bed to laying around in silence.I hated that all the sudden I was in this state of just feeling bad for myself. I knew damn well I could fix this by getting out of bed and leaving Bucky, but for some reason I was in love with him and couldn’t bring myself to leave. Even I could barely admit to myself I loved him, I knew I did. Maybe that’s why I truly stuck around through this situation. Maybe that was also why I was so okay with the fact I was bringing a child into to the world. It was with someone I loved, even if they sure as hell didn’t love me back. ————————Staring at the pregnancy test it became very obvious that this wasn’t food poisoning. The two pink lines indicated that Bucky and I had indeed made a child.I wanted to throw up at the fact that was pregnant. I sat cross legged on the floor in the bathroom and just stared at the pink stick hoping the outcome would be different.Bucky was do home today and knew I needed to tell him but I was afraid of how he was going to take this. We were technically dating but it was more causal then anything. I don’t even think he considered me to be his girlfriend.Reaching into my front pockets of my pants I pulled out my phone and texted Bucky.Zoey: Hey when you get home do you wanna come by?I was hoping my text came off as the same way they normally did. I didn’t want him to think something was wrong by text message. I didn’t want him to find out I was pregnant via text.I didn’t do much the rest of the day waiting around for Bucky. I watched a movie and just lounged around waiting for him to come to my place.A couple of hours later I was sitting on the couch in the living room Bucky walked into my apartment and gave me a smile. Normally when he would first get back from missions we always had sex, but this time was different and I think he knew that the moment he saw me.“You okay?” he asked walking straight to the couch.I shook my head I was trying to gather up the nerves to tell him that we had made a human life.“So Bucky it turns out I didn’t eat bad sushi…” I paused and glanced over at him to see that he had a confused look on his face. “I don’t exactly know how to say this, but I’m pregnant…” my heart was pounding and I felt like I was going to throw up. Looking over at Bucky he looked like I had just told him someone killed Steve. All the color washed from his face and he stared at me like I told him I was going to die any moment.“We need to move you out of here,” he said speaking up for the first time.I pushed my eyebrows together and was extremely confused on why I needed to move out. He seemed as if he was going into panic mode all the sudden.“What?” I questionedStanding up he started pacing in front of me, “We need to move you into a safe house with me. I don’t want people to find out I’m having a child. I’m still considered and asset of Hydra and I don’t want them coming for you or my child.”He seemed like all the sudden he wasn’t my Bucky anymore. He went into to fill protector mode and I didn’t like it. “I will do everything in my power to keep you safe.”I stood up and walked towards him and stared at him for a long moment. Our eyes were locked and I could tell that he seemed genuinely afraid. Wrapping my arms around him he held me close and whispered, “we can make this work.”——————I heard the front door open and I snapped me out of my self wallowing. I didn’t bother getting out of bed and just laid on my side waiting to see if Bucky was going to come look for me. Moments later I heard footsteps and looked up to see Bucky staring at me with a confused look on his face.“Did you get out of bed today?”I closed my eyes and shook my head. I didn’t even want to talk to him at the moment.“Have you ate?”I nodded my head.He pushed his eyebrows together and took a step towards me.“Why aren’t you talking to me?” he asked standing next to the bed.I shrugged my shoulders. I didn’t have anything to say to him. If he was gonna he distant towards me, I felt like I had the right to be distant towards him.“I’ll cook dinner,” he turned on his heels and walked out of the room.Closing my eyes I slowly rolled over so I was facing away from the door. I didn’t want to get out of bed and pretend everything was okay and have dinner with him. I actually preferred to not see him anymore today. My preferred situation was for me to just go back to sleep.Reaching over to my nightstand I grabbed my phone. I contemplated texting Lyla asking for her and Henry to come pick me because I wasn’t sure I could do this anymore. I couldn’t care so deeply for someone who didn’t care about me anymore. I knew if contacted Lyla I was going to have to explain the fact that I wad living in a random apartment with a man who was a stranger to her. That in its self would be a huge mess that I didn’t want to deal with.I must of stared at Lyla’s contact info for twenty minutes when I heard Bucky walk back into the room.“I’m not much of a cook or anything but I made pasta,” he said walking over to my side of the bed. I looked up to see him holding a tray with pasta on it.Slowly I sat up and he handed me the tray. He seemed to be putting in effort to make me happy at the moment and I didn’t know why.“Thank you,” I said speaking to him for the first time today.He gave me a smile before he walked out of the room. I just sighed at him leaving me again.Before I could even take a bite he walked into the room holding his own bowl of pasta and two bottles of water. Reaching over he handed me one before sitting on his side of the bed next to me.I was confused by his sudden desire to be next to me, and why he was trying to make me happy.We ate in silence for a while before Bucky clearer his throat, “so I’m I passed on this mission this week so I could stay home with you.”I knitted my eyebrows in confusion at the fact that he was passing on a mission to stay home with me. We barely spent any time together anymore it didn’t make much sense for him to stay home. If things were like that had been before I was pregnant I wouldn’t think anything about him wanting to stay home with me. It would of meant back then that we would probably spend most the time in bed together not wanting to get dressed.“You’re staying home for me?” I asked speaking up.“Yeah I don’t want you home alone, also I was thinking maybe we could spend some time together.”He seemed to be going out of his way to avoid me recently so the fact he was saying he wanted to spend time with me was really throwing me off.“Maybe tonight we could lay in here and have a movie night?” he said as he sat his dish next to him on the bed.“Sure,” I said just confused on what was going on.Jumping out of bed he grabbed his dish and mine and headed off towards the kitchen and living room area. He was only gone a couple minutes before he walked back into the room with a dvd in hand. He made quick work of turning the tv on that we had sitting on the dresser at the end of the bed that we rarely used and put the dvd in. The main menu popped on and I m saw that he picked out one of my favorite beach movies from the sixties that had Frankie Avalon in it.A small smile formed on my lips at the fact that he knew this was one of my favorite movies. I don’t think I had ever told him that. He must of just noticed by the fact that I had watched it a couple times since we lived together.He pressed play and crawl back into bed. He sat with his back against the headboard and got comfortable as the movie started. I laid on my side watching it but I kept getting distracted by him. I was attempting to just read his body Language. He didn’t seem as tense as he normal did sitting by me. At the moment he seem extremely relaxed just enjoying the movie. Maybe him seeing me sad changed something in him. Seeing him so relaxed made me feel really relaxed myself.Looking up at him with heavy eyes I found him looking at me with a smile on his face.“Bucky,” I whispered.“Yeah Zoey?”“Thank you for spending the evening with me. I really needed this,” I whispered closing my eyes.“I needed this too,” was the last thing I heard him say before I fell asleep.When the morning light woke me I looked over to see Bucky was no where to be seen. I sighed and crawl out of bed. Slowly I walked into the living room to find him sound asleep on the couch and I just groaned. I thought something might of changed last night but maybe we just took a baby step in the right direction.Walking off into the kitchen I started pulling out the stuff to make pancakes. Since Bucky turned down his mission I knew he was going to be home for a few days so that meant we should try to make more baby steps.I whipped up a batch of pancakes and made a cup of herbal tea for myself and a cup of coffee for Bucky. As I was getting ready to make a tray up for him he walked into the kitchen yawning and stretching.My eyes couldn’t help but wondering his extremely tone body.“I made pancakes,” I said holding a plate out for him.“Thank you,”he said with a soft smile. My goal was for over the next few days was to take as many baby steps in the right direction as possible.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
I had worked in the same bookstore for the last three years. I loved my job I got to spend days surrounded by books and lovely people that loved books as well. It was a job that was basically made for me. It also didn’t hurt that there was coffee shop that was next door.Two weeks ago, two extremely handsome men started coming into the book store while I was working. They came in together twice week and it also seemed to be when I was working. I looked forward to seeing them come in. They were always so friendly and quite flirty, but they were just charming so I assumed it was just their personality. I recognized them both the first time they came in. Steve Roger aka Captain America was more recognizable, but for some reason I couldn’t help but want to get to know Bucky more. I guess it has to do more with the mystery that surrounded him.I was surprised when one day Bucky came into the bookstore alone.“Hello Bucky,” I stated as he walked into the aisle I were I was putting books away.“Hey Zoey,” he smiled as he reached down and handed me a book I was reaching for.“Where’s Steve?” I asked picking up another book.“Well he stayed behind,” he said reaching for the book I was holding. I just stared at him confused on why he reached for the book I was holding. “I have a question to ask you,” he said awkwardly.I gave him a smile and sat the book and looked over at him wondering on what he wanted to talk to me about.“Would you go out with me?” he shoved his hands into his jeans and gave me a cute smile.I was caught off guard by the fact he had just asked me out. He always flirted with me but didn’t think he actually liked me. I thought he was just a flirty person.“I would love to go out with you,” I smiled.“Alright how about I pick you up tomorrow after work?”I nodded, “Yeah that would be great.”—Walking out of the shower I was caught off guard to sound of Bucky singing along to some old song that was playing in the living room. Stopping in my tracks I listened for a moment and couldn’t help but smile and listen for a moment.Walking into our bedroom slowly got dressed and headed off into the living room to find Bucky standing in the kitchen making dinner.A smile formed on my lips and I said, “I don’t think I have ever heard you sing.”He shrugged his shoulders, “I don’t tend to sign around anyone.”“Did you need help cooking dinner?” I asked walking closer to him.He nodded and gave me a smile.We worked together preparing dinner for us. I could feel his eyes burning into me as we cooked together. Glancing over at him I tilted my head to the side and asked, “what’s up Bucky?”“Nothing,” he quickly looked away and went back to cutting the veggies that were in front of him.“Why do you keep staring at me?” I asked.Setting the knife down her was holding he turned and looked at me. He stared at me as if he was attempting to figure out what he wanted to say to me. I wanted to shake him and tell him he didn’t have to be closed off or worry about telling me what he as actually thinking. I wanted him to know I needed to know what was going on in his head.“Bucky,” I whispered.His icy blue eyes locked on mine, “I just noticed how much your body has changed. You’ve seemed like you’ve popped.”I couldn’t help but smile at his words. It made me happy that he seemed to be paying attention to me and what was happening with my body.“Yeah in the last two weeks my body has seemed to pop,” I moved my left hand and slowly rested it on my growing body. We rarely talked about the baby, and the fact that he brought up made me feel like we were moving in the right direction.—Walking into my apartment holding hands I turned and gave him a smile. I never actually took a single date home on the first date before in my life. I had actually only slept with two guys in my life, and I knew Bucky was about to be the third person. I felt suddenly nervous at the idea we were going to have sex, I couldn’t help but feel self-conscious about my curvy body. The way he had been looking at me all night made me feel extremely wanted.When he picked me up tonight I had no intentions of ever taking him home. I just planned on us going out to dinner and maybe going on a walk around the city. I planned at most for us to hold hands and then end the night with a kiss, but damn did Bucky know how to use his lips. I hadn’t expected him to be so honest with me about his brainwashing and about Hydra turning him into the Winter Solider. I could tell that he was worried about me finding out that he had been turned into a killing machine or as he said they called him the ‘asset’. His honesty let to me telling him all about how the last guy I slept with informed me I should lose weight after we had just had sex.I hadn’t told him about me being self-conscious about my body to have him compliment me, I told him because I wanted to be honest with him since he had been so honest with me.Stepping into my living Bucky reached behind him and shut the door slowly. I took a step away from him held my hands in front of him awkwardly. I wasn’t use to doing this by any means, the first guy I had slept with was my high school boyfriend William. The second guy was Dennis from the coffee shop I use to go to. He was the asshole who told me I should lose weight. For some reason I continued to date him two weeks after and even have sex with him again.“I don’t normally do this,” I whispered as he took a step towards me.“I haven’t done this in like forty years,” he joked.“Well I’m honored,” I smiled as he stood an inch away from.“Can I kiss you again?”I nodded my head, “I invited you upstairs I expected us to do more than kissing.”He gave me one last smile before he connected his lips to mine. His soft lips tasted of minty chapstick and his callused hands rest on cheeks as he was holding me close as our lips danced together. I couldn’t understand how a man that was brainwashed could be such an amazing kisser. Holding my eyes closed I wrapped my arms around his tone body pulling him close to me. His metal hand moved from my cheek down to my waist. Slowly he moved my shirt up and rest the metal hand on my bare skin sending a shiver down my spine at the sensation.We parted with smiles on both of our faces, I took my bottom lip into my teeth as I stared him. I could see the lust in his eyes.Tilting my head to the side he connected his lips to my jaw and sprinkled wet kisses across my skin. My eyes about rolled back in my head at the sensation. “Lets go to my room,” I murmured as his lips continued to moved against my pale skin.Without a word his pulled his lips away from me, and grabbed my hips and lifted me like I literally weight nothing. I wrapped my legs around his waist holding onto him. I couldn’t help but be caught off guard by his strength, he had told me that when Hydra experimented on him they made him a super solider but I didn’t actually know what that fully meant.The moment we reached the bedroom he tossed me lightly onto the bed. Biting his bottom lip he stripped himself of his shirt. I took that as my cue to start taking off my own clothes. I pulled my sweater off leaving myself in a floral bra that definitely didn’t match my panties. If I knew I was going to sleep with him tonight I would of at least planned to maybe have them match. I proceeded to kick off my flats as he started walking to the end of the bed he grabbed my ankles and pulled me towards the end of the bed. I don’t think I had ever been more turned on in my life by the way he could just move me around like I literally weighted nothing. My legs dangled off the edge of the bed and reached up and unbuttoned my jeans. He pressed his lips to mine for one hot kiss before pulling away to strip off my jeans.I laid on the bed in front of him in just my bra and underwear and my eyes were locked on his tone body as he kicked off his boots and started taking off his jeans.Standing in front of me with just boxer-briefs on my mouth watered at the sight of his body that seemed to be craved from stone. I knew he was in the military back in the forties so I knew he had to be in shape for that, but I couldn’t help but wonder what part the super solider serum played into him having this body. Looking up at him I found his lust filled eyes on my curvy body and I suddenly became very aware of how on display my body was.“God you’re beautiful,” he sighed as he started crawling on the bed.I couldn’t even say anything, I wasn’t even sure what I should say. I don’t think I have ever in my life had a man look at me the way he looked at me. The way his eyes ran across my body he looked like he was a starving man who hadn’t eaten in years and I was going to be his meal. Crawling over me he was left hovering right over me. He wasted no time connecting his lips to mine for a kiss. We made out like we needed each other to breath, and at that exact moment I think I actually needed him to breath. He rolled us over so I was straddling his hips. I continued to roughly kiss him as his metal hand glided up my back reaching for the clasp of my bra. Pulling away from him I sat on top of him as my bra fell off leaving me completely bare chested. A groan passed his lips as he reached up and slowly started massaging my breast. I rolled my head back enjoying the feeling of his hands on my bare skin. He sat up and started kissing my collar bone with wet kisses and slowly started moving his lips down my breast until his tongue swirled around on of my nipples and I couldn’t help the moan that passed my lips.“Oh Bucky,” I sighed.Pulling his lips away from my skin he said, “we need to get the rest of our clothes off.”I took that as my cue to get off him and to lose my yellow undies. He pulled his boxer-briefs off and my eyes about bulged out of my head at the sight of his large erection springing free.“Do you have condom?” he asked as I stood next to my nightstand.I silently nodded my head and reached into the top draw an grabbed a row of three condoms. I hand them to him as he laid on the bed. Tearing the foil packet open with his teeth he made quick work of sliding the rubber on. I stood there with my eyes just locked on his naked body. I wasn’t the type of girl who slept with a guy on the first date, but I wanted this so badly I didn’t care what people would think if they found out.“Come here,” he said pulling me out of my thoughts.I didn’t say anything I just crawled back onto the bed and straddled his hips. I slowly sat up to line him up with my entrance. I slowly let him stretch me as I slid down his length. The moment he was fully in me I couldn’t help but gasp. Looking down at Bucky he bit his bottom lip and stared at me with a look of pure pleasure. Leaning forward I rested my hands on his strong chest and started moving. Each time I slid down his length he thrust his hips up to meet me. As we moved together I couldn’t help but moan. He felt so good I wasn’t normally person who was vocal during sex, but the feeling of him inside me had me wanting to scream his name.“Bucky,” I moaned as his hand came up and started playing with my clit as I kept sliding up an down him.“Come on baby girl,” he rasped as he continued to play with me.I got a few more thrust before I hit my high, I rolled my head back and moaned his name over and over again. I attempted to keep moving but wasn’t able to, Bucky flipped us over in on quick move and worked on quickly slamming his hips into mine about ten more times before he hit his high.Rolling off me we both laid on our backs trying to catch our breaths.“That was amazing,” he said looking over at me. I couldn’t help but smile at him as he leaned over and connected his lips to mine for a soft kiss.I didn’t say anything I just curled up next him and rested him head on his chest. He wrapped his arm around me and held me close.–After we had finished cooking dinner Bucky was working to put our food on plates. I was grabbing us both something to drink when Bucky spoke up, “did you maybe want to sit on the couch after dinner and watch a movie together?”I was caught off guard by his request. “Yeah that would be great.”We started eating and I couldn’t help but keep looking up at Bucky. He seemed to be acting really different recently, and I don’t know if he just was starting to realize that I need him to be more then my roommate but I wasn’t exactly sure.“Do you remember our first date?” I asked for some reason. I guess I wanted to know if Bucky also thought about how things were in the beginning like I did.He took a bite of his food and gave me a confused look as he chewed his food. After swallowing his food, he said, “yeah I do sometimes. Why?”I shrugged my shoulders, “I don’t know I guess it’s because I think about it all the times.” I felt embarrassed that I was admitting this to him.“We had a great first date,” he smiled.“Yeah we did. I we were surprisingly honest with each other for a first date.”Sitting his fork down next to his plate he looked up at me with a pained look. “You’re one of the only people I have ever been that honest with. There was just something about you that I felt like I needed to know about my past.” He seemed to be being quite honest with me right now and it was catching me off guard.“It meant a lot to me that night and it still does that you trusted me to know that about you,” I said before taking the last bite of my dinner.“Let’s watch a movie,” he said changing the subject.That was the most I had gotten him to open up in a while so I knew I shouldn’t push it anymore then I had already had. I reminded myself that I was trying to take baby steps with him. If we pushed the envelope anymore we were going to take a step way bigger than a baby step.“You pick a movie, I’ll do the dishes really quickly,” I said as I stood up and grabbed our dishes and headed off towards the kitchen sink.The dishes didn’t take too long, and I told Bucky I was going to get dressed for bed really quickly. Once I was comfortable I walked back into the living room and sat down on the couch on the opposite side of Bucky. He clicked start on the movie and we sat there silently enjoying it.When the movie first started Bucky seemed very tense. I moved where I was laying on my side taking up more the half the couch. I tried to keep my feet away from Bucky, but he caught my off guard when he gently grabbed them and moved them to his lap. I glanced over at him and he was smiling while watching the movie. A few moments later I felt his hand slowly traveling up and down my calf aimlessly as his eyes were locked on the tv. I just smiled and continued to watch the movie.I only lasted about an hour into movie before I couldn’t hold my eyes open. I woke up still half asleep to the feeling of Bucky’s strong arms carrying me to bed. Gently he laid me down on my side of the bed. I stared at him through hooded eyes as covered my body with blankets. I wanted to tell him to get into bed, but I couldn’t bring myself to speak. As I closed my eyes I heard his foot steps exit the room. Soon my eyes once again became to heavy to hold open.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
I hadn’t had sex in about six months and I felt like I was so horny I was going to burst. Literally the worst thing is being pregnant with all the hormones in the world coursing through you and nobody wants to have sex with you. It also didn’t help that the man I was living with is a Super Solider and had the body of a Greek god. Bucky had not problem with walking around shirtless after working out, I’m pretty sure he was clueless to the effect his extremely tone body had on. Before I was even pregnant I got super turned on be seeing him shirtless, but now with all these pregnancy hormones pumping through me it honestly wasn’t fair.I sighed sitting on my bed, and I stared at the hallway door wondering what in the world it would take to talk Bucky into having sex with me. I knew we had been taking baby steps recently like spending more time together and watching movies in bed together, but right now I need to take a big step instead of a baby step. I needed him to desperately help me remove some of this tension. I knew after six months he had to also be sexually frustrated too, unless he was sleeping with someone else. I knew him better then that. Bucky is an extremely loyal person and would never do that to me. I’m assuming that in the last six months his hand and him had grown acquainted.Maybe if I walked out there naked he would just automatically do it and I wouldn’t have to ask. Before I got pregnant if I walked out naked he would of shoved me against the wall and taken me right there, but things have seriously changed in the last six months, also I don’t think my body was in the correct shape to be pushed up against a wall.I sat up and got off the bed and took a moment to gather myself before I walked into the living room to most likely embarrass myself. I was trying to act like I was full of confidence even though I had none.I was greeted to the sounds of Bucky lightly snoring. No matter how turned on I was I couldn’t bring myself to wake him up just to have sex with me. My eyes ran over his half naked body, he was going wearing a pair of sweat pants that sat really low on his hips showing off his v. Him wearing his sweatpants this low has always drove me insane. It should be a crime for a man this attractive and fit to be able to walk around with his pants that low. He looked like he had knocked is one blanket off while he was asleep. The blanket was on the floor and he was sprawled out across the couch.I hated the fact that he slept on the couch now. Even if he didn’t want to be with me sexually, there was no reason we couldn’t share the bed. Slowly I walked over and light nudged his shoulder.“Bucky wake up,” I spoke softly.His blue eyes popped opened startled, “Zoey what’s wrong?”“Nothing just please come to bed. I don’t want you sleeping on the couch.” I had never actually told him that I hated sleeping alone. That it drove me insane he slept on the couch.A yawn passed his lips as he stretched his arms. His tired blue eyes stayed locked on me. I could tell he wanted to protest but he didn’t know how. Standing up he didn’t say anything to me he just started walking off towards the bedroom. I trailed behind him silently. He walked inside towards his side of the bed and sat there and let his tired eyes trail up and down my pregnant body.I moved over to stand in front of him. I wanted to make a move but I didn’t know how. I also didn’t think right now was the time. We just stared at each other for a moment.“Let’s go to bed,” he sighed and started crawling under the covers.I didn’t say anything I just walked across the room to my side of the bed. I crawled under the covers and laid on my side and stared at him. He was so beautiful I didn’t understand why he even found me attractive. He was so beautiful he could of probably dated anyone he wanted.He was laying on his back staring at the ceiling with his eyes open. I wanted to say something to him but I didn’t even know what to say. I was still super horny and wanted to have sex with him but honestly, I kind of just wanted to cuddle with him more than anything. I just wanted human contact at the moment. I wanted him to touch me like he used to.“Bucky, I miss you,” I whispered. The second the words left my mouth I already regretted them.Looking over at me he had a confused look on his face. “Bucky please just say something to me,” I sighed regretting everything. Maybe it was a bad idea asking him to come to bed.Silence engulfed the room for a long moment as he just stared at me. Shaking my head I rolled over slowly to my other side so I was facing away from him. I didn’t even know how to look at him right now.“Zoey, I don’t want to hurt you,” he said softly. I don’t think he realized how much damage he was doing by keeping me at arm’s length at all time.“See here’s the things you being distance hurts me so much. It kills me to sleep alone, feeling like I did something wrong,” I whispered as my eyes started to water. I didn’t want to cry over him I didn’t think he deserved my tears at the moment.I couldn’t help the tears as they silently started to fall. He must of heard me crying because I felt his arm wrap around my very round belly as he moved closer to me. I felt the bed move next me and his stomach pressed against my back.I was surprised when I felt his warm lips on my pale shoulder.Reaching down I laced my fingers with his and squeezed his hands. I wasn’t sure what any of this meant but I just needed him to hold me.“I’m trying to make this work,” he whispered. “I’m so worried about hurting you.” I didn’t know if he meant physically or emotionally.“I’m not going to break,” I sighed.“I couldn’t live with myself if I hurt you,” I could hear the sense of guilt in his voice. He was actually afraid of hurting me physically. When we were sleeping together occasionally he would get slightly rough but never enough to hurt me, if anything him showing a little bit of dominance turned me on. I guess he was worried about his super Solider strength and me being pregnant.“Bucky, I know you would never hurt me,” I squeezed his hand.“I can’t control if someone turns on the Winter Solider and I’m terrified it’s going to happen around you.”My eyes went wide at his omission. All the sudden everything made sense. I understood why he held me at arm’s length. He was terrified of becoming a mindless Solider again and hurt me and the baby.“I can’t tell you how long I’ve wanted to hold you but I’ve been so afraid of myself, and my strength,” he whispered. My heartbeat picked up at everything he was saying to me. “I don’t want to be distance with you. I just don’t know what to do. I feel so lost and afraid. You mean so much to me but right now I don’t know how to have a normal life,” he sighed before pressing his lips to my shoulder again. Slowly I moved out of his hold and rolled over onto my other side so I was facing him.“Bucky I’m not going anywhere. I just need you to talk to me and not act so distance. It breaks my heart when you hold me at arm’s length, and I don’t know how much longer I can deal with it.”He reached up and gently moved a piece of my messy hair behind my ear. We just kind of stared at each other for a long moment.“I’m gonna try to be better.”“Okay I just have one request,” I whispered reaching up and resting my hand on his cheek.“What’s that?”“Please don’t make me sleep in here alone anymore,” I moved my hand away from his face.“You won’t ever sleep alone again,” he whispered leaning forward and resting his forehead against mine. I took a deep breath enjoying our closeness for a moment. Before I could pull away he connected his lips to mine for a soft kiss. We hadn’t kissed in probably four months and missed the feel of his warm lips against mine. They still had the taste of his minty chapstick that I loved. “Let’s get some sleep,” he said pulling away from me.I nodded my head and slowly rolled over so my back was to him again. He wrapped his strong flesh arm around my round stomach and held me. I closed my eyes and sleep quickly took me away.——————Sunlight glaring through the curtains in the morning woke me from my peaceful night of sleep. The familiar feel of Bucky’s warm body was still pressed against me, while his strong arm was still across my my belly. Holding my eyes closed I snuggled up closer to him and was met to the surprise of Bucky’s hard erection against my butt. A smile passed my lips at the fact that the man was still human and had needs like myself.I contemplated my options for a long moment. I could get out of bed and give him his space or I could see if this could let to me getting my built up sexual tension out.Lightly I rolled my hips back into his pelvis and was greeted with a soft groan, and grip on my stomach tightened a little. I rolled my hips a few more time enjoying the friction. I could feel him growing harder with each roll of my hips. The friction felt amazing and I couldn’t help the soft moan that passed my lips.“Zoey,” he moaned.A little bit hard I rolled my hips against his hard erection. I froze at the feeling of his strong hand gripping my hip to halt me from moving.“What are you doing?” I could tell he was barely wake by how raspy his voice sounded.“Bucky my pregnancy hormones are killing me. I haven’t been touched in six months and I feel like I’m about to burst,” I sighed.“I could hurt you,” he said softly.I rolled my eyes knowing this was probably the closest I was going to be getting to an orgasm in the next three months.“I’m not asking for us to have sex, I’m just asking for some help,” I attempted to bargain. I didn’t even need actual sex at this point. I just needed for him to touch me.He was silent for a moment, “okay I can help.”“Thank you,” I whispered.I felt him pull away from me for a moment and I was confused on what was going on. Looking back I watched as he kicked the covers off and pulled off his sweatpants. I couldn’t say I was shocked he wasn’t wearing underwear he told me he hated how they felt with sweats. My eyes did go wide at the sight of his hard erection though, I forgot how big he was.“I thought we weren’t having sex?” I asked confused and really turned on by the fact he was naked.“We aren’t but if your gonna keep grinding on me I would prefer to not cum in sweat pants,” he said with a little smirk.I took his words as my cue to reach down and slowly remove my undies and sleep shorts. I was completely naked from the waist down.I rolled back on my side and Bucky took that as his cue to follow. He pulled me closed and moved his thighs so they were resting against the back side of mine. I rolled my hips back against Bucky enjoying the feeling of the flesh to flesh contacts. We kept thrusting against each other and soon I felt Bucky’s strong hand rest right above my sensitive mound. I wasn’t sure what he was going to do but I prayed he was going to use his fingers on me. I craved the feeling of his finger on me.A groan passed his lips and soon I felt his lips on my shoulder. I rolled my hips against him hard attempting to get us both off. His fingers dip between my thighs and soon they were doing little figure eights on my bundle of nerves. The sensation of his fingers working while we moved our bodies together creating friction sent me over the edge and I felt like I had just seen sparks. I panted catching my breath as I sloppily rolled my hips against his a few time trying to get him off.When he finally came he moaned my name loudly. Looking over my shoulder I saw him with his eyes closed steadying his breath.I felt his warm lips kiss the back of neck. A shiver went down my spine I couldn’t help but be in bliss.I was caught off guard at the feeling of him getting out of bed quickly. My heart sank at the thought of him leaving me alone in bed again after that. I stared at the door fighting back tears and felt a sense of relief when I saw him walk back into the room still naked holding a wash cloth.“I thought you left me,” I whispered as he reached over and cleaned me with the warm wash cloth.Was he wiped away the sticky liquid he put on me he soft said, “I’m not going anywhere. I was just trying to take care of you.”I couldn’t help but smile and he quickly took the wash cloth back to the bathroom and crawled back into bed with me. Leaning over he pressed his lips to mine for a soft kiss.“Do you want pancakes for breakfast?” I asked as he pulled his lips away from mine.“Pancakes sound amazing,” he smiled.Slowly I started getting out of bed. Looking back at him I saw him with a confused look on his face. “Why do you look so confused?” I asked.“I didn’t know that you meant right now,” as she worked on quickly out of bed.Reaching down I slowly picked up my pajamas shorts, and quickly pulled them on. I watched was he walked across the room naked I don’t think I would ever get over how amazing his body. I knew I should stop staring as he stood in front of his dresser pulling a pair of boxer-briefs on. He turned to face and and found me blushing as his blue eyes locked on to mine.“What help making breakfast?” he asked as he walked towards me. I didn’t say anything I just nodded my head. Standing in front of me he reached up and rested his hand on my cheek. “You’re so pretty.” I didn’t even know how to respond to his comment I just smiled.“Let’s go make breakfast,” I asked reaching down and grabbing his metal hand. Before we could started walking off towards the kitchen he closed the distance between us and pressed his lips to mine. At first I was just expecting a soft and gentle kiss, but this was anything but. His lips moved against mine like he missed my touch. That it was something that he had craved. Pulling away me he had a smile plastered on his face.“Let’s go make pancakes,” he said leading me towards the kitchen.After last night he seemed to understand I needed my Bucky back, that we couldn’t keep living like we were. We seemed to finally be taking larger steps.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
We were walking this really thin line that was filled with sexual tension. We weren’t having sex but we had started making out like teenagers. I sure as hell wanted more from him and I’m pretty sure he wanted to actually have sex, but we were tempting to take it slow.When he walked in from work I was caught off guard by his busted lip he had. I rushed over to him and rested my hand on his scruff covered cheek examining the cut.“What happened?” I asked. He always did different types of training with Steve and the rest of the Avengers but he had never came home before with a busted lip.“Natasha kicked the shit out of me,” he sighed tilting his cheek towards my touch.“Let’s go to the bathroom and I’ll clean you up,” I said reaching down slowly to grabbed his metal hand.Bucky was leaning against the bathroom wall while I was in the medicine cabinet getting out peroxide and some cotton pads. I signaled for him to come towards me. I poured the peroxide onto a cotton pad and worked on cleaning up his cut lip.“She really a good job on your lip,” I sighed.“I would say you should see her but you know she kicked my ass in this training exercise,” he said causing me to smile. Bucky was a trained super solider so it was rare he ever really got hurt, but if anyone could probably catch him off guard in a fight it would be Natasha. “I want Steve to know about this,” he said pointing between the two of us. “He’s my best friend I hate him not knowing we’re having a baby” he reached down slowly and rest his hands on my round stomach.I couldn’t help the smile that formed on my face. This was the first time he ever brought up anyone knowing about us. We had been living in this bubble for so long I was excited for people to know about this strange life we had built.“I would love for him to know. You could have him come over and we could have dinner,” I squeezed his hand.“I know I’m probably over stepping my bounds right now, but did you have any names picked out for the baby,” he looked down at my stomach and had a confused look on his face. I think he still had issues wrapping his mind around the fact that I was growing a life in me that we had created.“Kind of,” I sighed. For some reason I hadn’t really ever thought about what life was going to be in like a little over two months when the baby came.“Can I hear some?” he asked sitting down on the toilet.I nodded my head, “if it’s a girl I like the name Elizabeth Jane.”“That’s really pretty. Have you thought of a boy name?” he asked tilting his head to the side.I nodded my head again I was oddly nervous to tell him the name I had picked out. “Mason Buchanan,” I said softly. I had made the choice to give him the same middle name as Bucky, but I wasn’t exactly sure what was going to happen when the baby was born. I didn’t know if he was going to be in the baby’s life.He pushed his eyebrows together and gave me a smile, “you would name the baby after me?”“Bucky, I don’t know what’s going to happen when this baby comes but I want the baby to have just a little piece of you,” I felt really nervous confessing this.Reaching up slowly he gently rested his flesh hand on my stomach and looked up at me with caring eyes. He rarely ever touched my stomach, I think it had to do with his fear of hurting me and the baby, but his touch was so gentle.“I know our relationship is really weird and I have been distant but I want to make this work, and I want to be in the baby’s life.”“I can’t hide away forever from everything,” I let out a heavy sigh because we both knew this couldn’t work forever. At some point my family was going to find out Bucky was the father and his teammates were going to have to know.“Clint has a family and from what I heard nobody knows about them other than the team and her family.”I stepped away from him and leaned against the counter. I was trying to figure out what he was trying to say. “What does that mean for us?” I asked almost afraid of what his answer was going to be.He ran this metal fingers through his long hair as he paused for a moment. “I guess it means we’ll get a real place outside of town and you can tell your family and the avengers will know.”“Why do I feel like there is a but,” I knew there had to be something else that this couldn’t be that easy.“We’ll make it where there is no documented proof I’m the baby’s father. I don’t want that to ever get out. Hydra is still out there and a lot of Hydra still thinks I’m theirs to control. I don’t want them to use you and our baby to get me.”I knew he was looking out for me but it still hurt like hell that he wouldn’t be on the birth certificate. I took a deep breath trying to process what he had said. It was just a piece of paper I shouldn’t care, but deep down I did.“Please don’t hate me,” he reached for my hand. Part of me wanted to smack his hand away but I knew he made the plan so our child and I would be safe. He was only trying to protect me and our baby.“Bucky I can’t hate you.” I wasn’t lying to him, I could never actually hate him.He stood up and took a large step towards me and wrapped his arms around me pulling me into his chest. My very round stomach put a quite the distance between us and the hug.“When Steve comes over we’ll work out the plan.”I sighed knowing this was how it was going to have to be. He wanted to keep us safe and this was honestly going to be the best way.“Bucky did you ever actually want kids?” I whispered. I probably shouldn’t ask because the answer would most likely hurt me, but I had to know how much I messed up his life.He pulled away from me quickly and looked at me with a really confused look on his face. “Back in the forties I wanted the all-American dream a wife and kids a big house, but when Hydra captured me and turned me into the Winter Solider and Steve had to save me…” he hesitated. I knew this was hurting him to talk about this. “I guess I didn’t think they were an option anymore. With me being brain washed and turned into a super Solider I never expected to be intimate with anyone ever again. You were the first person I had slept with since the forties.”I couldn’t believe he was being so honest with me. He thought Hydra took every chance he had a normal life away him.“Bucky,” I reached up and rested my hand on his cheek again and he gave me a soft smile.“I’m trying to have that normal life with you. I know I haven’t been showing to you that I want this, but I can’t wait to be a father.”I couldn’t help but smile and tear up at the fact he said he couldn’t wait to be a father, and that he wanted a family with me.“So, what this about me being the first person you slept with since the forties?” I joked.He rolled his blue eyes and laughed, “We’re not talking about that right now.”“That’s not fair,” I laughed.He didn’t bother saying anything he just leaned down and pressed his lips to mine.Pulling away from my lips he said, “I think I need to take my shower now.”Stepping away from he took off his long sleeve shirt and sat it on the counter. I stared at him wanting to ask to join him but I was honestly terrified he would reject me. We had just shared and emotional moment, but he was still terrified of hurting me.“Hey Bucky?” I shyly asked.He worked on unbuttoning his jeans and looked up at me, “yeah Zoey?”My heart was going at a million miles an hour, “can I join?”He was silent for a moment before he slowly nodded his head, “Yeah.”I watched as he swallowed and took a step towards me and reached for my oversized shirt I was wearing. Pulling my shirt off he stared at me intently. I reached behind and unclasped my bra.“I didn’t realize how big your boobs have gotten,” he said staring at my boobs shocked. This was going to be the first time in like six months he had seen me fully naked. I also always wore a bra now because they were too big for my liking. I was already big chested girl with d’s and since getting pregnant they got even bigger.“Yeah they’re huge now,” I awkwardly joked grabbing them.He stepped away from me again and reached over to turn on the shower. Turning back toward me he worked on getting out of his jeans, and I took that as my cue to get out of my legging.He reached over to see if the water was hot enough and stepped out of his boxers and stepped into the shower. I stood there topless in only my undies for a moment just gathering the courage to get in with him. It wasn’t like this was the first time he was seeing me naked. I was a plus size girl before getting pregnant and he had no issue getting me naked and basically kissing my whole body. For some reason the fact that I was pregnant just made me feel awkward. Slowly I stepped out of my undies.“Come on,” he said reaching his hand out from the shower curtain.Taking his hand, I slowly stepped into the shower and I couldn’t help but admire his tone naked body. This man was made of stone and I don’t think I was ever going to get over it.“You’re so beautiful,” he said as his blue eyes traveled up and down my body.“I can’t believe you agreed to go out with me,” he smiled.I had never expected Bucky and Steve to start coming into my bookstore, let alone have Bucky randomly asked me out. The whole time we were dating we had sex constantly so can’t say I’m exactly shocked we made a child.“I couldn’t believe you asked me out.”“I had to do it before Steve did,” he said causing me to laugh.Leaning over he connected his lips to mine again. We started making out like a bunch of teenagers and he grabbed as my ass pulling me closer to him. I couldn’t help but let out a little giggle at his erection poking my stomach. He pulled away grinning, “can I touch your boobs because I’m dying to get my hands on them?” he asked with his eyes locked on my large boobs.I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. He just answered the age-old question of if he was an ass or boobs man.“Go for it,” I said with a little laugh.Gently he reached up and started massaging them. I bit my bottom lip and watched as he brought his lips to them and started kissing the top of them. Before I knew it, he had one of my nipples in his mouth swirling his tongue around it. I couldn’t help but moan at then sensation. His lips on my skin were intoxicating.I took the bold step of reaching in between us and started stroking his hard length. I closed my eyes enjoying the feeling of his lips on me while I tried to pleasure him. He took his bottom lip between his teeth as he looked at me with hooded eyes.He moaned my name and slowly bit my nipple causing me to moan.One of his hands left my breast and traveled down my stomach to sensitive mound. I sighed anticipating his finger touching me. He dipped his flesh finger into my slit and I moaned. With his lips still on my chest his fingers worked on me while stroked him.I could tell he was getting close when he pulled his lips away from me and stared at me through hooded eyes. We stared deeply into each other’s eyes for a long moment before he crashed his lips into mine as I felt him come in my hand. He dipped his fingers into my core a few times before sending me over the edge. Leaning back against the shower wall we both just stared trying to catch our breath.“Let me wash you off,” he said signaling for me to come closer.I didn’t say anything I just nodded. He reached over and grabbed a wash cloth and slowly started cleaning my body.“I can’t thank you enough for being patient with me.”We didn’t do anything else in the shower. We got out together and Bucky helped dry me off. We decided to end the night by ordering Chinese food and watching a movie in bed.Lying in bed on my side I had my head resting on Bucky’s chest while I stared at the tv. He had his hand on my back gently rubbing his thumb up and down. We laid there in complete bliss you could never tell a couple of weeks ago we couldn’t even share a bed.“I want to meet your family,” he said catching my off guard.I pulled away from him quickly and looked up at him very confused on why he suddenly wanted to meet my family.“You want to do what?”“You said you a couple of days ago you were going over Lyla and Henry’s for dinner and I thought maybe I could come.” He said it like it was no big deal. Like it just causally time for him to meet the family.“Are you sure about that?” I didn’t want him jumping into this just to please me. I’m pretty Lyla was going to rake him across the coals. I was also going to have to explain this whole wild situation to my family.“I want to meet them and get to know them for you and baby,” he smiled as he pushed a piece of hair behind my ear.“Alright, in the morning I will call and explain the situation to Lyla and my mom and then you can come over for family dinnerWe seemed to be working on having a normal relationship together, and I couldn’t be happier.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Things at the moment seemed to be going really well. Bucky and I had been getting along really well and had been spending a lot of time together. Today I got to go shopping for the first time in what felt like forever. It was nice to just get out and spend time with my sister. Since i got pregnant I felt like I barely got to see her, but it wasn’t just because I moved, she had just got promoted at work so she was super busy herself. We were walking around the store just looking at random things. Things felt like they use to back in the day. “So, what you’re telling me is your baby daddy isn’t some just random guy?” Lyla asked still trying to wrap her brain around what I had just told her about Bucky and I.“No, he’s not a random guy. He was my boyfriend of barely a month though,” I sighed.“Why the hell have you been lying then. At least it wasn’t a one-night stand?” Lyla asked as we walked up to the register.“Because my baby daddy isn’t just some normal guy,” I was trying to not talk about Bucky in the middle of store. “We’ll talk about this in the car.”“Alright,” Lyla said as we took my groceries out of the cart.The second the finished loading the bag into the car Lyla went back to asking questions.“So, who is your baby daddy?” she asked getting into the passenger seat.Starting my car, I looked over at Lyla wondering how well she was going to take this, “Bucky Barnes,” I said slowly.“As in the Winter Soldier guy?” she asked shocked.Slowly I nodded my head, I had to now explain that my boyfriend wasn’t a murdering assassin, “he’s a really great guy. Things between us started weird but he’s caring and wants to be in the baby’s life and he want to know the family.”“Alright I’ll let mom and Henry know.”“Lyla I really need you in my corner right now. I know mom isn’t going to like Bucky but I need you to back me with him,” I pleaded.“Alright I’ll defend him,” she smiled.—-Walking into my apartment that I shared with Bucky I was greeted to the sound the laughter in the apartment. I couldn’t help but be a little caught off guard by the laughter, Bucky tended to be a quieter person and rarely laughed these days.Walking into the living room holding a few bags from the store the moment I made eye contact with Bucky he quickly jumped up to help me caring some of the bags.“I wasn’t sure what time you guys would be getting here,” I said giving Bucky a smile.“We finished training early, so Steve and I headed over,” he said to me as Steve was walking towards us.Walking into the kitchen to set the bags down. I turned around to find Steve standing in the kitchen behind us. “Hi Steve,” I said awkwardly looking down at my very round stomach.“Hi Zoey,” he said kindly.“I take it Bucky explained all of this,” I said awkwardly as I rubbed my stomach.With a smile he nodded, “yeah he filled me in on the situation.”I could help but feel extremely awkward all the sudden. The last time I had saw Steve was when Bucky and I had just started causally dating. The last time I had seen him I was actually pregnant but neither Bucky or I had actually known yet. We had gone out to dinner with Steve and Sam and had a great time, but a week later I discovered I was pregnant and everything had changed. I couldn’t help but wonder what Bucky had told him when I all the sudden stopped coming around. I wondered if he told Steve and Sam that maybe we had broken out.“So, what do you think we should do?” I asked leaning against the kitchen counter.He had a confused look on his face almost as if he was unsure of what to say. “Well I get why Bucky is scared, even though most of hydra is gone, we know there are some people still in hiding, and Hydra most likely still considers Bucky their asset.”Steve was confirming the fears that Bucky seemed to have, and it stung quite a bit. “What do we do?” I asked because I wasn’t sure what all of this meant.“Well we’re never going to let anything happen to you. Us and the rest of the Avengers will protect you at all cost. I think we could go the Clint route and you guys could have your house and family, but we’ll keep that off the records so you can’t be linked if they try to get to Bucky.”Hearing everything Steve was saying confirmed that we wouldn’t have a completely normal life, but I think I’m okay with that because I was still going to be able to have Bucky, and we will be able to raise our child together.“I think it’s best if we have you see Dr. Banner and we’ll get you a doctor at the compound that could help with you delivering the baby,” Steve said.Looking over at Bucky I saw him staring at us intently as if he was trying to read my reaction to everything Steve was saying to me.“Alright. I understand like nothing about our relationship is normal.”“Zoey are you sure?” Bucky asked finally speaking up.I nodded my head, “yeah I just want us to be together and our baby safe.”“Okay,” he said walking over and pressing his lips to mine for a light kiss.“I’m gonna make dinner now.”“One more thing Zoey,” Bucky said standing in front of me. I was all the sudden worried about what he was going to say.“I have to leave tomorrow for a mission that’s only three days. It’s going to be my last one until the baby is born,” he said sounding almost unsure of what my response was going to be.I sure as hell didn’t want him leave, especially with me now being further along in my pregnancy, but I knew he needed to do this. I also knew Steve would lay down his own life before he let something happen to Bucky.I nodded my head and looked over at Steve, “Steve do me a favor and make sure he comes back to me the same way he’s leaving.”My statement caused Steve to give me a big smile, “I won’t let anything happen to this old man,” he patted Bucky on the back with a little laugh.“Okay I’m gonna make dinner now,” I said attempting to shoo the boys out of the kitchen.They headed off towards the living room and worked on making dinner for us. As I cooked I couldn’t help but listen as they talked about their time back because they both became super soldiers. They were laughing as the talked about Steve’s attempts to get with some girl at the dance hall. I couldn’t be smile myself. I was so nice to hear Bucky laughing and have a good time. He had loosened up so much recently, but when he was around Steve I think felt safest. I think that might be because Steve saw him still as the guy who was best friend who had been there for him since the beginning and was there with him until had he would say ‘to the end of the line’. I was happy Bucky had someone like Steve in his life.The night went really well we ate dinner and the boys told me stories from back in the forties. I got to hear all about Bucky’s attempt to get with a red head he had the hots on. I couldn’t help but smile and laugh at his poor attempts to get the girl he wanted. I assumed he might not have been as charming as he was when he started coming into my book store. I think the moment I met him I knew deep down inside that I was bound to fall for him, even if he didn’t ask me out.+The night seemed to fly by and soon Bucky walked Steve out I headed off to bed, I was exhausted and couldn’t wait to get some sleep. I walked into the bathroom to wash my face, and then headed off into the bedroom to get dressed for bed. I stood in my bedroom in nothing but my bra and underwear searching for my pajamas in my dresser. I heard someone clear their throat behind me and I turned around to see Bucky standing behind me smiling.“You’re so pretty,” he said walking towards me.“I feel like a whale right now,” I said with a laugh resting my hand on my very round stomach.“You look so beautiful caring my child,” he reached over and rested his hand on my stomach. “What am I gonna do while you’re gone for three days on a mission?” I asked realizing it had been a long time since he had actually left her.“I’m going to talk to you every day,” he smiled.“You’re actually going to call me?” I asked thinking back to the last time he left when he gave me the cold shoulder.“Yes, I’m going to call you every day.”“Okay,” I nodded.“When I get home, we’ll go straight to your family dinner.”“Okay,” I leaned over and gave him a light kiss.“Are you ready for bed?” he asked.“Yeah I was trying to find my pajamas.”“We could always sleep naked,” he said with a smirk.I was caught off guard by his statement, I wasn’t sure if he was being serious. We had been taking things slowly recently.“Are you being serious?” I asked tilting my head.“Yeah why not,” he said stepping away from me. He pulled his shirt off leaving him shirtless, I bit my bottom lip as I watched him work on stripping off his jeans. He stood there only in his boxer-briefs. My eyes roamed his tone body. Stepping towards me he reached his metal hand behind me and unhooked my bra. It slowly fell to the ground as I stood bare chested in front of him. Dropping to his knees in front of me and slid my bright pink panties. Standing up he reached and pulled his own boxer-briefs off. We stood there naked just staring at each other. Things between us had seemed to pick up in pace recently and I honestly really liked it. We seemed to act like an actual couple now. Even though we had never talked about it I considered him to be my boyfriend, I wasn’t one-hundred percent sure what he considered me to be.“Let get into bed,” he said looking over at our bed we shared.I silently walked over to my side of the bed and crawled under the covers. Laying on my back I watched as Bucky crawled into bed next to me.“Lay on your side,” he said as he leaned over and connected his lips to mine. Our lips moved against each other for a short moment before he pulled away. I took this as my cue to roll over so my back was facing him. He reached over and moved my body so it was pressed up against his tone body.Slowly he stared peppering light kisses a crossed my shoulder. I closed my eyes enjoying our closeness.“Thank you for being so patient with me,” he murmured against my skin.“Thank you for giving us a chance,” I said as he moved my hair off my neck and started kissing down my spine. I closed my eyes enjoying the feeling of his lips moving across my freckled skin. His strong hand rested on my hip, and lightly held on to me as his lips moved down my spine. I wasn’t sure what he planned on doing, but I was going to take what ever he was willing to give. My lip was caught between my teeth holding back a moan. My hormones we’re all over the place and just him kissing my spine could probably get me off. His hand started creeping forward down towards my sensitive mound. He removed his lips from my skin as his fingers dipped into my core. I gasped a little at the feeling and leaned my head back against him.He was completely silent as his finger dipped inside me. I couldn’t help but press my body against him. I couldn’t help but moan. I could hear was his heavy breathing as his lips rested against the back of my neck.“Bucky,” I moaned.“Baby what do you want?” he rasped with his lips resting against my skin.“I just want all of you,” I sighed.His fingers dipped into me over and over again until he pushed me over the edge. I couldn’t help but moan his name repeatedly.“We fully have sex it can’t be like the old time,” he said pulling away from me as I rode out my high. I’m pretty sure he meant that we couldn’t get a little rough like he would sometimes before we created a life.“Bucky I’m not asking for it to be like old times, I just want to be with you again,” I said giving him a smile as I rolled onto my back.“Okay, roll back over,” he said.I nodded and rolled back onto my side. His lips lightly pressed to my shoulder for a light kiss. “Let me know if I get to rough.” He said as he slowly slid inside of me. I couldn’t help but gasp at the size of him. We hadn’t sex in six months and forgot how amazing he felt inside of me. His hand rest on my hip again as he thrust into me over and over again. My head rolled back and rested against his body and he moved against me.“I forgot how good you are this,” I said causing him to let out a little laugh.A loud moan passed lips as his hips rolled against mine. “I’m close,” I whined.“Go a head and come,” he rasped.Two more thrust was all it took before I was coming once again. He moaned my name against my skin as my walls pulled against his erection. He thrust a couple more times before himself hit his high. He spilled inside of me holding onto my hip tightly. I laid completely still panting as he sat still inside me. I couldn’t help but let out a little laugh at the fact that we had finally had sex again.“I missed doing that,” I said with a huge smile.“I missed it too, I didn’t hurt you did i?’ he asked sounding worried as he removed himself from me.“You didn’t hurt me at all,” I rolled onto my back and looked over at you.The way he was looking at made my heart flutter. He looked like he had never been happier in his life, his eyes seemed to be lit up. Just looking at him made me smile.I knew I should probably keep it to myself but for some reason I said, “I love you.” My heart raced as the words left my mouth because I wasn’t sure if he felt the same way.His face was still lit up even after I had just confessed my love to him, “I love you too.”My eyes went wide at him admitting he returned the same feeling for me. “You do?” I asked shocked that he returned my feelings.He nodded with a smile.“Thank you for tonight,” I leaned over and pressed my lips to his lightly.“I can’t thank you enough for being patient with me.”“Bucky I would anything for you,” he smiled and nodded his head at me at my statement.“Roll back over and we’ll get some sleep.” I didn’t say anything I just rolled back onto my side. He quickly put his arm over my very round stomach and cuddled into my back. Closing my eyes I couldn’t help but smile at how far we had come.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
While Bucky was gone I kept myself distracted at the apartment. I think I was in the nesting stage of my pregnancy because I spent a lot of time on my laptop looking up ideas for the nursery. I also realized that I was going to be having this baby a lot sooner than later and I didn’t have much for it. My mother had brought up multiple times wanting to throw a baby shower, but since I hid my pregnancy from so many people. I thought it would be strange to have a baby shower. In the mix of looking up nursery ideas I also making a list of things I needed to buy for the baby. Some of my time was also spent walking around the house and cleaning things that didn’t need to be cleaned. I had read that was another part of nesting.The whole time Bucky was gone he checked in on me a few times a day. I was sitting on the living room couch with my laptop on my lap looking cribs when he walked in from his mission.Glancing up at him I noticed something seemed off with him. His eyes a purple bags under them and I could just tell by looking at him he hadn’t gotten much sleep.“How did it go?” I asked closing the laptop.He shrugged his shoulders and sighed.I placed the laptop on the couch next to me and worked really slowly on standing up. In the last week standing up had grown to be more of an issue with my large stomach. “Do you want to talk about it?” I asked walking towards him as he sat his duffle bag on the floor next to the couch.“No I’m just glad to be back with you,” he leaned down and pressed his lips to mine for a soft kiss. “I’m gonna take a quick shower and the we’ll go to your sisters house.”“We don’t have to go,” I said realizing that he might need some to relax after this mission. At the moment he seemed kind of closed off. He wasn’t the old distance Bucky, but he just seemed off.“Bucky are you okay?” I asked reaching down and grabbing his metal hand. He nodded his head silently. “Are we okay?” I asked probably coming off paranoid.“Of course we are,” he reached up and rest his flesh hand on my freckles covered cheek. “I’m gonna shower now, you can join if you want.”I watched him walk off to the bathroom I was technically already dressed and ready to go, but I couldn’t bring myself to say no to showering with him. I started waddling behind him towards the bathroom. He had already had the water on and warming up when I got inside. He stood there in only his boxers with a lopsided grin on his face as he looked up at me.“I’m gonna need help getting undressed,” I muttered as I reached down for the bottom of my sweater.He didn’t say anything he just silently took a few steps towards me and helped me remove my sweater. He dropped down onto his knees and dipped his fingers into the waistband of my leggings and slid them down my thick thighs. Stepping out of my legging is stood in front of him in my bra and panties. He didn’t look up at me with lusted filled eyes instead the seemed to be filled with loved.“I love you,” he whispered as he hooked his fingers into my panties and slid them down my legs. Standing up he reached behind me and unhooked my bra.“I love you too,” I muttered with a smile.I was completely naked while she was still wearing his boxers. I smiled and walked off towards the shower. I didn’t plan on having sex with him right now. I just honestly wanted to spend time with him. Stepping into the shower I let the warm water engulf me. The warm water felt amazing against my skin. I turned around to find Bucky stepping in behind me. I step aside and let him stand under the running water. As the water wash over this skin I could see him start to relax a little. Resting my hand on my round stomach I couldn’t help but enjoy this moment between us. It wasn’t sexual in anyway but it was intimate. Reaching over toward corner I reached to grab my shampoo, but before I could grab it Bucky reached for it.“Turn around,” he murmured. I silently obeyed I closed eyes as I felt him pour my floral scented shampoo on to the top of my hair. I couldn’t help but relax as he started massaging the shampoo into my long locks. His fingers felt amazing as they massaged my scalp.“That feels amazing,” I sighed.“Whenever I smell your shampoo it always reminds me of you and reminds me I’m home,” he said as he removed his fingers from my hair. His words made my heart flutter. There was something about him saying that I remind him that I was home, and it made me really happy. I loved him with all my heart at this point. I couldn’t wait for us to be a little family.“Do you smell my shampoo when you shower alone?” I asked with a soft laugh. I turned around to him with his cheeks turning a light shade of rose. “Is that a yes?”“You make it sound creepy,” he said stepping passed me so I could step under the water.“I don’t think it’s creepy at all I think it’s actually really sweet,” I smiled as I let the warm water rinse the shampoo out of my long hair.I turned around and Bucky started putting the shampoo in my hair and I couldn’t help but smile at how domestic we were being. If would have told me two months ago that we would be showering together and having a causal conversation, I would have called bullshit on that.We finished showering and Bucky wrapped a towel around his waist and walked over to help me dry off. I wrapped the fluffy towel around me my round body and followed him off to our bedroom. I sat on the bed and watched as Bucky started pulling clothes out of his dresser.“What are you going to wear? Bucky asked walking over to the bed holding a pair of jeans and sweater.“What will still fit me?” I laughed. I was getting really limited to what I was able to wear.“You’ve quite popped a bit,” he said walking over and resting his hand on my round stomach.I nodded my head and smiling, “sleeping through the night has been hard the last couple of nights, the little one has been moving around and kicking a lot.”“I’ll be home tonight to hold you,” he leaned in and gave me a quick kiss.“Thank you,” I smiled.I stood up and walked over to the closet to attempt to find something to wear. I found a pair of legging I knew would fit and an oversized sweater. I turned around to find Bucky tugging his jeans up. The man’s body was a work of art and I swear if he walked around shirtless all the time I wouldn’t be able to keep it together. My pregnancy hormones probably weren’t helping with that situation at all.Waddling over I sat down on the edge of the bed and worked on pulling my legging up. He walked over fully dressed and held my sweater up for me. I stood up slowly and pulled my sweater on.I pulled my wet hair up into a bun and we headed out of bedroom. We stopped at the front door so I could grab my purse and put on my flats.The ride to my sister and Henry’s house didn’t take too long. When we arrived at the house I think Bucky could tell how nervous I was. He immediately walked over and grabbed my hand, and helped me out of the car.“We don’t have to do this,” I whispered.“I know we don’t, but I want to,” he said giving my hand a little squeeze.We walked into the house and found my family in Lyla’s kitchen. My mom was at the stove stirring gravy while Lyla was cutting veggies.“Hi,” I awkwardly waved my hand that Bucky wasn’t holding. “Mom, Lyla, and Henry I would like to introduce you to Bucky,” I looked over at Bucky who was smiling.“It’s nice to meet you guys,” Bucky was letting go of my hand and walking over towards my family.I watched as he personally introduced himself my family. I couldn’t help but smile because my family so far seemed to like him.The boys went over to the table and started talking and I walked over to my mom and Lyla. I was trying to judge my mom’s reaction to Bucky. I gave her a huge and she pulled away and smiled at me, “he seems like a nice guy.”“He’s honestly the best.”“Then why did you lie to us about him?” she asked the question I knew was coming.I sighed, “it’s not a normal relationship, and with him working with the Avengers he was worried about me getting hurt.”My mom glanced over at the table where Bucky was laughing at something along with Bucky. “You could have told us sweetie,” she reached over and rested her hand on my cheek.“I know that now mom”I finished helping them cook dinner and we all sat down at the kitchen table together. I sat down next to Bucky who was smiling. We all ate together and chatted about random things.“Wait so you were born in 1917?” Henry said still trying to wrap his brain around how old Bucky technically was.“I mean technically I’m a hundred, but stuck in like my twenty-five-year-old body. It’s pretty complicated,” he laughed. I rested my hand on his thigh and lightly squeezed it. This all felt so normal and I loved it.When we got home it was pretty late and I was exhausted. I wasted no time walking straight to our bedroom. I slowly got dressed for bed as Bucky put on a pair of sweats and crawled into bed.Moving the covers back I slowly got into my side of the bed and laid on my side and found him looking over at me smiling.“I love you,” he whispered.“I love you too,” I leaned forward and connected my lips to his for a soft kiss.He brushed a piece of hair out of my face, “baby girl roll over so I can hold you.”Silently I rolled over and he wrapped his arm around my round stomach and nuzzled his face into my neck and peppered kisses across my skin.“Goodnight,” I murmured.“Goodnight doll.”It wasn’t long before I was sound asleep in his arms.—I was abruptly woken from my sound sleep to the sound of Bucky screaming. My heart jumped out of my chest and rolled over to see Bucky jumping out of bed. He stared blankly at me with cold eyes, and realized quickly what was happening. His nightmare triggered the Winter Solider. Slowly reached over onto my nightstand to grab my phone I knew I needed to call Steve immediately and I had to try to get Bucky back, because Steve was ten minutes away.“Bucky…” I whispered resting my hand on my stomach. He didn’t say anything he just stared at me.His worst fear was happening and I needed to make sure neither of us got hurt. I knew if something happened tonight Bucky wouldn’t be able to live with himself, so I needed to try to get my Bucky back. “I know you’re not Bucky right now but I need you to please not hurt me. I’m pregnant…” I slowly crawled out our bed and moved toward the wall.He took a step towards me with cold icy eyes. He seemed so lost at the moment like he was unsure about everything. He didn’t seem like he wanted to hurt me, he was just lost.He was silent as his eyes started rapidly running around the room. I opened my phone silently and clicked Steve’s name that was saved in my phone and didn’t even put it to my ear. I knew if I was trying to talk Bucky down Steve would hear it and come.“Who are you?” he mumbled.My eyes went wide at the fact he didn’t know who I was. “I’m the mother of your child,” I said fighting back tears.He took a step towards me and I shivered, I was terrified of him touching me. I didn’t know what he would do to me if he touched me. “That’s mine?” he pointed to my stomach.I slowly nodded my head.“Zoey,” I heard Steve say distantly as I held my phone in my head.“Bucky please come back to me,” I said loud enough for Steve to hear.“Who’s on the phone?” he asked reaching for my phone.I handed him the phone before he could take it from me. I didn’t want to give him a reason to hurt me.“Bucky you need to snap out of this,” I whispered as he threw my phone on the bed.I stayed completely still pressed up against the wall. If I wasn’t pregnant I would take off running but I knew he would go after me if I did and I didn’t want to risk that. I had a better chance of talking him down then running.“What’s your name?” he asked standing a couple feet away from me.“I’m Zoey and we’re together. We’re having this baby together,” I reached up to rest my hand on my stomach. I was attempting to play to what little sense of passion the super Soldier had. “This is your baby, and you can not wait to be father.”“Are you afraid of me?” he asked stepping towards me. He seemed so confused at the moment I don’t think he was in full winter Soldier mode but he definitely wasn’t Bucky. He didn’t seem to have much of a memory. Slowly I nodded my head I couldn’t lie to him I was terrified.“I’m begging you not to hurt me. I know that’s what you’re trained to do, but please don’t,” my eyes started to brim with tears but I was so scared.“Have I hurt you before?” his eyes were so lost like he was trying to process everything.Slowly I shook my head, “no you’re a fantastic boyfriend.”He went to step towards me, but froze like he didn’t know what to do. I swallow trying not to shake.I heard the front door open and watched as Bucky turned around quickly. Before I could say anything, he took off for the living room. I slid down the wall and started crying. My emotions took over and the as the tears rolled down my cheek. I knew Steve could handle him and everything was gonna be fine.I heard footsteps walk towards me and I was terrified it was the Soldier was coming back for me. Looking up I found Sam Wilson standing in front of me. I had met him and a few of the Avenger when Bucky and I had first started dating, but that had been seven almost eight months ago.“Hey Zoey,” he said giving me space.“Hi Sam,” I said as tears slid down my cheek.“So, I see you and Bucky are having a kid?” he stared awkwardly. He probably had a million questions right now about the situation.I nodded my head wiping my tears as I asked, “where is he?”“Tony and Steve sedated him and we’re gonna take him back to the compound. Steve want to take you there too and have Bruce and a nurse check you out.”“So, did Steve tell you guys about all this?” I asked slowly standing up.He shook his head, “he told us he was here with you but he didn’t tell anyone about the baby.”“Okay.” Sam put his hand on my back and lead me out of the bedroom. Walking into the living room I saw Steve enter the apartment again.“Are you alright?” he rushed over and hugged me.“Yeah,” I whispered.“Okay were gonna have you stay at the compound for a while. Bucky’s gonna have to go through treatment and therapy.”“Sam can I have a moment alone with Steve?” I asked.“Yeah is course. Steve I’ll ride back with Tony and Buck,” he said patting Steve on the shoulder.“He’s gonna go back to wanting nothing to do with me again, and I can’t deal with that heartbreak again,” I sighed. “You need to make sure he knows he didn’t hurt me or even try at all. He understood the baby was his.”“Okay I’ll let him know.”As we arrived at the Avengers Compound Steve took me to see a nurse so they could check my vitals and to make sure the baby was okay. As I was getting ready to leave Dr.Banner came in to check on me. I could tell everyone seemed worried about me, even though all my vitals were fine and the baby was fine.Dr. Banner said if I needed anything or if felt like I needed a doctor to call him and he’ll see me immediately.After leaving the medical bay Steve showed me to my room that was like a studio apartment. He told me that I could stay there as long as I wanted.I laid in the bed that was under a window for a while attempting to go to sleep. My body still hadn’t calmed down from dealing with Bucky. It took a while before sleep finally found me.–The next day they had been running test on Bucky all day trying to figure out what triggered him, and I spent most of the day in the room watching tv making list of what I needed for the baby. I had just finished eating dinner I had made for myself when someone started knocking on my door. I got up and opened the door to find Steve standing on the other side. He looked like he hadn’t got much sleep. He was probably up all night worrying about his best friend, and then been right by his side all night and day. “Hey, so Bucky wants to see you.”I all the sudden felt nervous and afraid I knew most likely Bucky was gonna push me away right now and break up with me. Last night his greatest fear had happened.“Okay,” I whispered.Steve led me down a long hallway towards the medical Bay Area. We stopped in front of a white door and he turned to me and said, “I’m gonna be right out here if you need me, okay.”I nodded and slowly opened the door. Stepping inside I found Bucky laying in a bed with wires hooked up to his head like they were monitoring his brain activity. He looked exhausted and had dark circles under his eyes. He looked at me with sad blue eyes and dropped his head.“Are you hurt?” his voice was shaky and he sounded like he was about to cry. I shook my head and sat on the edge of the bed by his feet. “I’m so sorry Zoey I don’t know what happened.”“You didn’t hurt me, you wouldn’t even touch me. You were trying to wrap your head around the fact the baby was yours,” I reached over and rest my hand on his leg.“This is what I was afraid of happening.” I knew where this conversation was leading and my heart broke at just the thought.“Bucky,” I sighed fighting back tears. I was trying my hardest not to cry right now.“Zoey I could have hurt you or both you and the baby…” I looked at him as he gave me a sad look. I wasn’t going to let him leave me because he was afraid.“But you didn’t,” I said softly.“I think I need to start sleeping somewhere else,” his eyes started to brim with tears as he stared at me with glossy eyes.He was breaking up with me and there wasn’t anything I could do about it. Tears started to slip down my cheeks. “You don’t get to walk away from me. We made so many steps in the right direction. This isn’t gonna be the reason while we throw everything away. We were going to be a family.”“I could have killed you,” his voice was so shaky.“You didn’t though. You knew I was important,” I said as tears continued to slide down my own cheek. “We can still try to make this work,” he reached over and rested his hand on top of mine.“No, Bucky you either get all of me or none of me. There isn’t an in between,” I cried. “If you’re gonna break up with me I’ll go back to living in my old apartment,” if he was ending things I couldn’t go back to living as strangers again, and him feeling like he was walking on eggshells around me.“Zoey, I don’t want to hurt you,” he said fighting back tears.“Well you’re breaking my heart,” I pulled my hand away from him and stood up and started wiping away the tears. “If you want to be in the baby’s life let me know. I still have the same number. Goodbye Bucky,” I looked back at him one last time and walked out the door.I found Steve standing on the other side with a sad look on his face. The second the door closed I started sobbing and Steve wrapped his arms around me pulling me into his chest. He rubbed my back as I sobbed against he grey shirt. I knew when I pulled away he was going to have a large wet spot on his shirt.“I’m so sorry Zoey,” he murmured rubbing my back.“Can you take me back to my old apartment in the city?” I asked as he held me as I just sobbed into his chest.“Yeah of course.”The drive home to my old place was extremely quiet. I think Steve knew I needed my space at the moment. I felt like I had a million things going to my mind. I wasn’t sure what was going to be happening now. I had just broken up with Bucky right after he made a point to get to know my family. We had built up such this little perfect life between us and suddenly it all burned down so quickly. Months of work ended in one night.As we arrived to my old apartment I unlocked the door to see that it was exactly how I left it. I looked around and cried at the fact we couldn’t make it work. I had fallen in love with a man that was too afraid of himself.I sat down on the navy-blue couch and look over at Steve who was standing in my living room staring at me with a concerned look on his face. I bit my bottom lip attempting to stop crying. He walked over and sat down on the couch next to me, and started slowly rubbing my back slowly.“I thought he loved me enough to fight for me,” I sobbed leaning back on the couch.He continued to rub my back just letting me cry, “he loves you more then you know. Zoey he is so afraid of himself. I think you’re the first person that has ever made him feel like a human again.”“I guess I wasn’t enough,” I reached up and brush the tears off my cheeks that kept falling.“You we’re enough,” he sighed wrapping his arms around me.“I guess I’m back to living alone,” I sighed pulling away from.“Would you like me to spend the night tonight?” he asked.I nodded my head not wanting to be alone. I knew guest room was set up so he could sleep in there no problem.“Okay I’ll stay.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
It had been a week since I last heard from Bucky. Steve had stepped up majorly and started playing a supportive roll in my life. I am pretty sure he’s coming around all the time because Bucky told him to. He was by my side constantly. Weather he was sitting in my living room just watching TV with me or he was going shopping with me. I rarely ever actually alone, he told me I was getting to be too far along in my pregnancy to be alone. Steve had even taken me to my doctor’s appointment this morning. He held my hand as the ultrasound was done. Always hearing the baby’s heartbeat always seemed to make me emotional, so it was nice to have him there with me. Which I couldn’t argue with him, I wasn’t a huge fan of being this alone. I had major fear of going into labor alone.Nights were the hardest for me alone. The baby had started moving a lot at night so falling asleep was quite difficult. I would lay in bed at night staring at the night sky wondering where Bucky was sleeping. I didn’t think he would go back to our old apartment. I imagined he was still at the Avengers compound. I assumed Dr. Banner was still keeping an eye on him. The baby kicked causing me to sigh out of discomfort. I knew sleeping wasn’t gonna be an easy task.—Sitting in a diner with Steve I stared down at my hash brown, and slowly pushed them around on the plate with my fork and glanced up to find Steve giving me a questioning look.“What’s going on in that head of yours?” he asked questioned.Setting down my fork I stared at him for a long moment. This week had been emotional hell on me, and I can’t lie I felt like I was just a burden on Steve. He sure as hell didn’t sign up to take care of an eight-month pregnant lady.“He hasn’t even reached out to me,” I sighed.Steve stared at me with a sad look on his face. He looked so complete torn up. I know he got put in a rock and hard place with everything that was happening. I’m pretty sure Bucky was forcing him to spend all his time with me. I also knew at some point I was going to have to face the fact that I was going to have to raise this baby alone. Even though Steve had been spending most of his time with me and looking after me. I knew he wasn’t going to be playing the role of my baby’s father.“He’s scared of himself,” Steve sighed. “That night was his biggest nightmare came true.”“He doesn’t have to be. I just want him to be here for me. We took so many steps in the right direction and formed a real relationship. We were gonna be a family and he’s letting this ruin everything,” I felt like I was about to cry and I was so tired of crying.“So, am I just supposed to raise this baby alone?” I looked down at my stomach. I didn’t know how I was going to be a single mother. I was basically raised by a single mother since my dad had left when I eleven, but I don’t think I’m nearly as strong as my mother.“You’re not gonna be alone, you have me and your family,” he reached across the table and grabbed my hand. I looked up into his blue eyes and could tell he felt torn up. He went six months not even seeing me, and suddenly Steve was stepping to the plate to be moral support for me.“Bucky’s going to come around.”“You don’t know that,” I whispered.“I don’t even have a crib for the baby,” I started crying. Pregnancy hormones made me a mess the thought of it having a crib should not have me in tears in a diner but there we were. I started crying while Steve held my hand.“Zoey we’ll get you a crib,” he tried to soothe me. “I can’t build a crib eight months pregnant,” I cried.“Zoey if you want we will go buy you a crib right now and we’ll go back to your crib and I’ll build it,” he seemed like he was just trying to say anything to make me stop crying.“I need to figure out what my budget is for all this baby stuff,” I reaches up with my free hand and pushed away my tears.“Tony already said he wanted to get you stuff for the baby.”“You guys can’t buy me everything.”“You didn’t have a baby shower because of Bucky hiding you away. It’s the least we can do,” Steve sweet words made me smile. “Finish eating your breakfast and I’ll call Tony and then we’ll go crib shopping.”We finished eat and Steve stepped outside to make a call. He had told me he was calling Tony, but when I stepped I outside I heard him saying Bucky’s name. I couldn’t help but assume that he updating Bucky on how I was doing. All he really needed to tell him was the baby is fine, and that I’m a heartbroken emotional wreck. I’m pretty sure by the time I actually have the baby Steve will never want to see me again, and I can’t even blame him.Steve took me to the baby store and he helped me pick out a crib, I tried to pay for it myself but Steve informed me that Tony would murder him if I did. As soon as we arrived back at my apartment Steve started working on building the crib while I sat in the living room with him.I had completely forgot that Bucky and I were supposed to have dinner at my mom’s house in two days, until she texted me to ask what time we were coming over. The last thing I wanted to do with tell my mom and Lyla who had literally just met Bucky that we had broken up literally the night he met them. I didn’t want to lie to them but I felt like I didn’t exactly have a choice. Part me also really hoped that Bucky was going to stop being scared and call me.I was snapped out of my thought when I heard Steve day my name. I looked up at him to see him standing next to a beautiful white crib he had built for me.“It’s beautiful,” I whispered. “Steve is he going to come back?” I asked needing to know if I should move on. I couldn’t sit around and cry about him forever.“I keep telling him he needs to come back to you,” Steve walked over and sat on the couch next to me. “He’s so terrified he’s not fixed, he afraid that Winter Soldier is going to be in his brain forever,” he sighed as he ran his fingers through his sandy blonde hair. “You’re the first person that I’ve ever seen him act like his old self around.” He looked down at the ground, “when he’s around you he’s like the Bucky I knew before the war. He’s the same guy when my mother died he asked me to move in with him. He wasn’t closed off like he was when I first found him again.”“You completely missed the six months we were basically living as strangers,” I sighed.“When you guys first started dating he was the happiest I had ever seen him, and those last few weeks he seemed normal again,” he looked over at me with sad eyes. “I think he believes he doesn’t deserve happiness after what Hydra had him do.”I sighed wondering what my life was going to be like without Bucky. I knew at some point I was going to have to go back to work that I would have to get someone to watch the baby while I was work. I wondered if my mom would watch the baby during the day so I could start working again. I assumed that I could always start working at the bookstore again.Steve stayed over at my apartment until after I cooked us dinner. He had offered to stay in the guest room if I needed him, but I didn’t need him wasting all his time on me so I told him could go home and that I would text him if I needed anything in the middle of the night.–Laying in my queen size bed I stared at the tv I had sitting on my dress. I turned on the food network and was mindlessly watching it.I looked down at my stomach as I felt the baby actively moving around. I reached down and rest I my hand on the underside of my belly so I could feel the baby’s movement more. Whenever I felt him move I couldn’t help but feel closer to the baby. I felt like their movement was them letting me know I wasn’t alone.“It’s me and you little one,” I whispered staring at my belly.I soon grew too tired and crawled under the covers and fell sound asleep.It was middle of the night when my phone started ringing on my night stand. I was half awake and I reached over and held my phone up and shocked when I saw that Bucky was trying to call me.“Hello?” I awkwardly said as I glanced over at the clock on my nightstand to see it was two in the morning.“Can I come in?” he rasped.“Are you at my door?”“Yeah,” he awkwardly said.“Alright give me a minute,” I hung up the phone, and slowly worked on crawling out of bed. I waddled through my apartment and opened the door to find him staring at me looking like he was about to cry. He seemed to be completely frozen in place like he was sure if he could move. I stood completely still not even exactly sure what was going to happen.“Can we talk?” he whispered.I nodded my head and stepped aside signaling for him to come inside.“Are you afraid of me?” he asked walking inside slowly passed me.I shook my head, “I’ve never been afraid of you.”“Not even after I cornered you and had no clue who you were?”“No because I knew you wouldn’t hurt me,” I sighed. I wished that he would realize that I was never going to be afraid of him. He wasn’t the monster he seemed to think he was.“How do you love me when all I do is push you away?” he sat down on my navy couch and looked over at the crib Steve had built. “Did Steve make that?”I nodded my head, “Bucky I don’t know how I continue to love you when you push me away, but I know you only push me away because you’re scared.”I sat down next to him and rested my hand on his thigh. My eyes locked on to his blue ones and I wanted to tell him I loved him but I knew he still had so much more to say to me.He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, “I don’t want to hurt you.”“Bucky you aren’t going to hurt me. What hurts me the most is when you push me away. We made all those steps together. We went from being strangers who weren’t evening sharing a bed, to saying I love you and having sex again.”“That night was so hard on me,” his eyes brimmed with tears as his voice was becoming shakey. “I came to in the medical bay strapped down to a table with Banner hovering over me with a bunch of wires coming off my head, and you were nowhere to be found,” he swallowed and looked away. “Thought I killed you when I first woke up. You weren’t there and I got scared that…” his voice started shaking. “I thought you were dead. I couldn’t have lived with myself if I hurt you or our baby,” tears started sliding down his cheek as he gently rested his flesh hand on my stomach.“I’m fine and the baby is fine,” I reached over and rested my hand on his scruff cover cheek. “As long as you’re in my life things are going to be okay.”He leaned forward and pulled me into a gentle hug and rested his head on my shoulder. I closed my eyes and held onto him tightly. I was almost afraid that if I let go of him he would disappear. I rested my hand on his back and gently rubbed his back. I heard him sniffle letting me knowing he was crying.“Please don’t leave me again,” I whispered. My heart couldn’t handle if he left me again.“I won’t leave again. I thought I was doing what was the best for you, letting you go…” he paused. “But Steve kept telling me that all you had basically done was cry. He told me I needed to be with you, that both of us were miserable apart, I kept telling him you needed someone like him to be there for you.”I knew Steve had been keeping in touch with Bucky the whole time he was watching after me. I was caught off guard by the fact that he had told Steve I needed someone like him to take care of me. I didn’t need anyone other than Bucky.“I’m pretty sure after I have this baby Steve is going to never want to see me again,” I lightly joked. “I’ll I have done is cry and complain to him.”“Steve knows you’re going through a lot. He told me he was glad he was there for you,” he murmured against me as I still held onto him.“Promise me you’ll never leave me again,” I pulled away from him so he could look up at me. I needed him to know that I needed him.He nodded his tears and reach up and pushed away the tears that kept falling down his cheek, “I won’t ever leave you again.”“James Buchanan Barnes, I need to hear you say you promise me,” I stated leaning up taking his scruff cover cheek in my hand.“Zoey Jane Danner, I promise I won’t run away again when I get scare,” he leaned forward and pressed his forehead to mine.I closed my eyes tightly taking in our closeness, I knew he wasn’t lying to me. I could tell he was still terrified of himself but he was going to try his hardest. I leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine for a soft kiss. He moved his metal hand up to my hair and tangled it in my messy locks holding me close to him.I pulled away from him and smiled, “Bucky I’m exhausted can we please get some sleep?”He nodded his head, “yeah we can go to bed.”He stood up quickly and reached down holding his hand out for me to grab. I reached for his hand and he led the way towards my bedroom.Crawling onto my side I looked over at him and smiled as I watched him as he pulled off his shirt and made quick work of taking off his shoes and jeans, stripping down to just his boxer-briefs. He crawled into the bed and laid on his side staring at me while smiling.“I thought I might have thrown away my only chance with you. I honestly didn’t think you would take me back,” he sighed reaching over and lacing his fingers with mine.“I love you too much to give up on you.”“I love you so much, thank you for not giving up me,” he lifted my hand and pressed a kiss to the top of my hand.“I’m never giving up on you,” I smiled.He had a huge smile on his face at my words, “so where are we going to be living now?” I hadn’t actually thought about where we would live. “We can stay here, or we can go back to the other apartment. Or we could look at the homes that aren’t too far from the compound. Tony said something about us being able to write off a home.”I pushed my eyebrows together, “you want to get an actual home?”“Yeah, I was thinking somewhere with at least three bedrooms, because maybe one day we’ll have another baby. I also wanted to have a real backyard. Do you have any request?” My heart was swelling at all the things he wanted for our house. We also hadn’t ever talked about having any other kids, so the fact he mentioned maybe having another baby made me want to kiss him.“I mean I could go for having a huge bathtub so we could take a bath together. I mean we already love showering together imagine being able to soak in a bubble together?” I smiled.“I love the sound of that,” he nodded his head. “Maybe we could go house hunting this week. I can let Tony know and we’ll work on making sure you can bring our baby home to a real house.”I wanted to cry tears of joy at just him saying our baby. “I would love that,” I whispered.“Baby girl lets get some sleep,” he reached over signaling for me to come closer to him.I slowly rolled onto my side and Bucky moved closer to me and rested his and on my thigh and his body was pressed against the back of mine. His warm lips pressed against my shoulder for a light kiss.“I love Bucky,” I murmured as I closed my eyes.“I love you too.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Five months laterI was curled up against his warm body with my head resting on his chest. His thumb was brushing against my side as I was barely awake. Glancing at the clock on Bucky’s nightstand I saw it was three in the morning. I had finally gotten little Mason to go to sleep after feeding him and I wasn’t even sure how I was awake. He had been putting in a rough night and had already woken up twice.Since Mason was born Bucky had been fantastic about getting up to take care of him in middle of the night. This last trip to get him to go to sleep I had expected to walk into our bedroom to find him sound asleep, but was shocked to find him sitting up waiting for me to come back to bed.“How long until he sleeps through the night?” I murmured with my head resting on his chest.“Not soon enough,” he laughed lightly.“Being a mom is exhausting?” I laughed softly.“I know baby girl.”I can’t get over how supportive he was. He was there to for me in every way emotionally and physically.“I’m exhausted, and yet I’m still wide awake.”“I know a way to wear you out,” he suggested.“I bet you do,” I laughed.He started peppering soft kisses against my shoulder. I loved to the feeling of his lips on my skin. It was three in the morning I didn’t even know how he was awake, let alone how he was trying to seduce me. His metal hand moved from my side down to my ass that he slowly started massaging. I guess he was serious about wanting to wear me out.“Were you being serious?” I lifted my head and looked into his blue eyes.“I’m always serious when it comes to getting you naked,” he smirked.I couldn’t help but roll my eyes as I rolled off of him and laid on my back staring at the ceiling. I glanced over at him to see him rolling over to face me. I bit my bottom lips as he crawled over so that he was hovering over me. He hovered above me and pressed his lips to mine for a rough kiss. His lips moved from mine down to my jaw. I reached up and pushed on his chest signaled for him to stop.“What babe?” he asked hovering above me.“Lay down,” I lightly pressed on his chest again.“Okay,” he rolled off of me and laid one his back.I crawled over and sat up and moved so I was straddling him as he sat against the headboard. He was wearing nothing but boxer-briefs that were already straining against his erection and lopsided grin. I reached down for the bottom of oversized shirt and pulled it off. I sat on his lap shirtless as he pressed his lips to my collarbone.“How are you so awake are three in the morning?” I asked as his lips moved down towards my breast. He was leaving a trail of wet kisses across my skin. I closed my eyes enjoying his touch. I reached between us and started massaging boxer covered erection. I opened my eyes as I heard him moan against my skin.“Please tell me we have condoms?” I moaned as his tongue swirl around my nipple.His lips pulled away from my skin as hit bit his bottom lip as he reached into his nightstand.“What happens if we don’t?” he asked dogging throw the top drawer.“We’re not creating another Mason tonight so it’s gonna be hand stuff,” I joked.He pulled out a single foil packet and his eyes lit up like he found treasure, “Zoey you need to start taking birth control so we don’t have worry about running out of condoms.”“You just want me to take birth control so you don’t have to wear one again,” I joked as I crawled off of him to remove my undies.“I quite enjoy not wearing one,” he joked as he removed his boxer-briefs. I watched as he rolled the condom on and signaled for me to join him again.I straddled his thighs and lined him up with my entrance. I sank down onto his length and moaned. I couldn’t lie I was a fan of us having sex constantly. It wasn’t even pregnancy hormones this time. I just couldn’t get enough of him. It’s not even like we were in the honeymoon stage of our relationship. I was just that in love with him. It also didn’t hurt that he was super soldier who had abs of steel.Bucky’s hand gripped my round hips as he help me keep a steady pace. I bit my lip holding back a moan. We couldn’t be too loud or we would wake Mason and after we finished having sex my plan was to go back to sleep. He moved one of his hands from my hips up to my large breast and started massaging it. I moved my hips against him chasing my high.His lips connected to the side of my neck for a rough kiss. At the rate his lips were moving against my skin I was going to have a large hickey as evidence of what we did at three in the morning.I rolled my head back and moaned I was so close to the edge I wasn’t gonna last very long.“Baby,” I moaned.“Zoey,” him moaning my name was most beautiful sound in the world.“I’m close, please touch me,” I stuttered.His moved his hand from my breast down to my clit and brushed against it a few times before I hit my high. I crashed my lips against his to muffle the sound of my moan. Both his hands gripped my hips and he moved me against his length to his own high. He held me down as he fully filled me as he road out his high. I rested my forehead against his as I pant. I was so exhausted I wasn’t even sure if I could stay awake long enough to get off of him.“There’s no way I’m getting dressed,” I planted slowly crawling off of him.“Did I wear you out?” He removed the condom and tossed it in the waste bin by the bed.I laid on my back still completely naked next to him. I barely held my eyes open and nodded my head.“Looks like we’re sleeping naked tonight,” he said laying down in bed as he pulled the blankets up over me.He reached over and pulled my curvy body closer to him. I nuzzled my head back on to his chest. His metal hand rest on my round ass lightly massaging it again.“If you want to go for round two your either going to have to do all work or use your hand,” I lightly laughed looking over at him.“How much I would love to have round two. I think we should probably sleep. We have to go to Sam’s birthday tomorrow,” he kissed the top of my head. “Also, I figure we could just have some shower sex in the morning,” he laughed.“If you take care of Mason next time he wakes up I’ll have sex with you anywhere you want.” I curled up next to him and rested my head on his chest again.—I woke up to an empty bed next to me and I looked over at the clock on my nightstand to see that it was nine in the morning. In the last five months I hadn’t slept passed seven because Mason wouldn’t let me.Slowly I got out of bed and threw on a shirt and a pair on undies and walked off into the kitchen to find Mason in his high chair and Bucky cooking breakfast. Bucky was shirtless wearing a pair of sweats that sat low on his hips. He had hair pulled into a low bun and was humming something.“Morning,” I said as I stretched out my sore body.“Hey baby,” Bucky smiled. I walked over to him and he gave me a sweet kiss.“How are my boys this morning?” I walked over to Mason who was giggling and gave him a kiss on his chubby cheek. “The little one has been up since six-thirty,” Bucky said as he started plating the food he had made.“Why didn’t you wake me?” I asked as I wrapped my arms around his strong torso.“I think I recall something about if I took care of him next time he wakes up, you’ll have sex with me where ever I want,” he said suggestively raising his eyebrows.I just rolled my eyes at his comment, “I meant in the middle of the night, but hey if you want to let me sleep in an extra two hours. Just name the time and the place and I’ll be there naked,” I laughed.“I love you so much,” he pressed his lips to the top of my head.“I love you too Bucky.” I pulled away and looked up at him. “Now what did you make me?” I reached for the plate that was on the counter.“Bacon, hash browns and eggs.”“My favorites,” I took my plate and walked over to the kitchen table that Mason was sitting at.“My mom and Lyla offered to take Mason tonight she said if we wanted to have date night after Sam’s birthday,” I was really hoping Bucky was going to want to take her up on her offer because I really wanted to be able to have a night where we could drink and then spend some alone time together.“What exactly does date night involve?” he asked sitting down at the table across from me.“Well I was thinking we go to Sam’s party and show off how cute our baby is and then take him over to my mom’s house, and then come home and take a candle lit bubble bath. Then you know you just chose the place,” I smirked.“Call your mother,” Bucky smiled pulling his phone out of the front pocket of his jeans and sitting it on the kitchen table in front of me.We ate breakfast together and Bucky put Mason down for his morning nap while I headed off to our bedroom so I could shower and get ready for Sam’s birthday.I stood in large shower rinsing the conditioner out of my hair when Bucky slid the glass door open and stepped inside. He wore nothing but a smirk as his blue eyes traveled up and down my curvy body.“You are so beautiful,” he softly said.Mason was four months old and I was still struggling to lose the baby weight, Bucky knew how self-conscious I was about being naked in front of him. Every time he saw me naked now he went out of his way to tell me how beautiful he thought I was.“You got him to go asleep a lot faster then I thought you would,” I smiled turning around to let the water hit the front of my body.It only took about ten seconds before I felt his hard body pressed up against my back. His strong hands were on my round hips and his lips were brushing against my ear, “do you think I was going to miss an opportunity to shower with you?”Ever since I had had Mason he couldn’t seem to get enough of me. If we weren’t careful I was going to end up pregnant again, so I really need to take him up on getting on birth control.“I don’t think you pass up any opportunity to get me naked,” I joked as his hand ran up my round stomach.“You aren’t wrong about that,” he took my earlobe into his mouth sending a shiver down my spine.“Bucky how much I would love to have shower sex right now,” I paused as his lips moved down the base of my neck.“Why do I know there’s a but coming,” his lips ghosted against my skin.“I need to get ready, and you need to take an actual shower,” pulled away from him.“What happen to anytime any place?” He asked with puppy dog eyes.I raised an eyebrow, “do you really want to waste that on shower sex?”I knew he wouldn’t say yes because we had sex in the shower all the time. Since having Mason, we had to take our alone time where we could get it.“No,” sighed.–After showering I got ready while Bucky finished showering and we loaded Mason up in the car and took him off to the Avengers compound where the whole group was hanging out for Sam’s birthday.We walked inside with Bucky holding Mason in one arm and he held my hand with his metal hand. The second we walked inside Pepper quickly walked up and took Mason from Bucky and pressed kisses to his chubby cheek. I couldn’t help but laugh, anytime Pepper was near Mason she was constantly holding him and tell Tony how they should have their own baby soon. I walked off into the kitchen to find Sam talking to Natasha with a huge smile on his face.“Happy birthday,” I said wrapping my arms around his waist.“If it isn’t my favorite baby mama,” he joked.“Where is Bucky?” he asked noticing he wasn’t by my side.I shrugged my shoulders, “I think he’s with Steve.”“Shocking,” Sam laughed. “Where is the little man?”“Pepper has him,” I said as I heard my baby giggle. I turned around to see that Mason was now being help by Tony who was smiling while holding him. “Never mind he’s being passed around.”“I’m gonna go find Bucky,” I walked out of the kitchen and headed into the living quarters to find Steve and Bucky hanging out by a huge window talking.Silently I pulled his arm over my shoulder and hug his waist. “Where’s Mason?” he asked.“Tony now has him,” I laughed.“We’ll be lucky to actually hold him at all here.”“How are you Zoey?” Steve asked.“I’m permanently tired. I never realized being a mom was going to be so exhausting,” I joked. “Luckily today Bucky was the best person on the planet and let me sleep in for two hours while he took care of Mason.”Bucky shrugged his shoulders trying to act like it wasn’t a big deal, “I knew you needed the sleep. I also kept you up all night.”Steve’s blue eyes went wide when he realized what Bucky’s comment meant. He shook his head quickly not wanting to think about the Bucky and Zoey having sex. “Why did you have to say that?” Steve scrunched his face up disgusted.“Whoa Stevie, nobody said anything inappropriate. You’re the one of over here with a dirty mind,” Bucky put his hand on his best friends’ shoulder as he was giving him a hard time.Zoey’s cheek flushed pink at their conversation. She suddenly felt extremely embarrassed.“Bucky shut up,” Steve said narrowing his eyes at him.“Hey you’re the one with the dirty mind not me,” he laughed at the fact not only his best friend was embarrassed but now so was Zoey.“I agree with Steve shut up,” Zoey went to step away and excuse herself from that awkward conversation.“Wait,” Bucky quickly grabbed her hand before she could walk away.She shook her head as she turned and faced him, “Bucky Barnes are you going to behave?” she raised her eyebrows.He nodded his head as he bit his bottom lip holding back a smile.She leaned up and pressed her lips to his for a quick kiss.“I don’t believe you,” she smiled.He leaned forward and rested his nose against hers, “you shouldn’t.”She pulled away from him and rolled her eyes at him quickly, “I’m gonna go find my child.”“Okay I’ll look for you later,” he smirked.“I bet you will Bucky.”She walked off to find Tony.–We stayed at Sam’s party until the sunset and then we took Mason straight to my mom’s house. I said my goodbyes to my sweet baby as I set him in his play pin that my mom set up in living room. Bucky was busy talking to my mom about something. I walked back over to them and Bucky walked over to give Mason a kiss goodbye. My mom told us to not worry about waking up early to come pick him up. She told us we needed to enjoy our alone time, and that we needed to sleep in.The drive to our house wasn’t too long. The second the front door was open I kicked off my shoes and turned to see him taking off his own shoes and socks.“I picked a place,” he smiled stepping towards me.“Oh really,” I was curious to where he was going to pick.He didn’t bother saying anything else he roughly connected his lips to mine as he walked me backward through the kitchen. I couldn’t lie I was a fan of our new house for the big kitchen it came with. My butt bumped against the kitchen table and he dropped to his knees in front of me. He started kissed from my knee up. When he reached my undies, he hooked his finger into them and slid them down my thick thighs. He looked up at me with hood eyes before going under my dress. My eyes about rolled back into my head when he parted my folds with his fingers. His warm tongue lapped at my core. He dipped a finger inside me as his tongue swirled around my clit, and I let out loud moan. It was nice to not having to worry about being too loud in fear of waking up the baby.“Bucky,” I whined as he added another finger into my core.My hands gripped the edge of table as a fire burned in my stomach. One of my hands moved down and lifted my dress so I could see Bucky between my legs. The way he was looking at me with hunger filled eyes was enough to push me over the edge. He picked up the speed he was pumping his fingers and pushed me over the edge. My walls pulled on his fingers as he continued to slowly lap up my clit.“Bucky,” I panted riding out my high.He pulled away from be biting his bottom lip. I reached for him to pull him up towards me. I roughly connected my lips not to his, I could taste myself on his lips and somehow that turned me on even more.I pulled away from and he reached down and grabbed my hips, and lifted me up and sat me on the kitchen table. I smirked at him as he reached for the bottom of my dress and quickly pulled it off. He tossed my dress on the floor, and pulled off his Henley shirt leaving him in only his low riding jeans. I reach behind my back and unclasped my bra, so I sat on the kitchen table completely naked.His blue eyes traveled down my body slowly and he let out a groan that turned me on even more. He reached into the back pocket of he jeans and handed me his wallet and I looked down at it confused on why I needed his wallet. He gathered my attention when I hear him unbutton his pants. I bit my bottom lips as he pushed his pants and boxer-briefs down his strong thighs, leaving him as naked as I was. With his erection letting me know how turned on he was.He kicked his pants away and stepped towards me and grabbed his wallet quickly from my hands. He opened it up and pulled out a condom he had stored in there and I couldn’t help but let out a soft laugh.He tore the foil packet open with his teeth before saying, “what’s so funny?”“I can’t believe you had a condom in your wallet.”“Would you rather me run off to our bedroom to get a condom?” he laughed as he rolled the rubber down his shaft.“Fair enough,” I said before connecting my lips to his.Gripping my thick thighs, he pulled me closer to the edge of the table. He reached between us and pumped himself a few times before pushing inside me with a quick thrust. My eyes rolled back in my head as gasped. My jaw went slack as he moved at a deliciously slow pace. I wrapped my legs around his waist attempting to pull him closer to me. His hands moved to grip my hips roughly. His grip on my round hip felt amazing, but I had a feeling he might leave a bruise. My head was tilted back as I moaned his name over and over again. He leaned forwards and started placing sloppy kissed on my shoulder. He lightly nipped the skin and I gasped.“Oh god,” I moaned.I moved my hands to his tone back and dug me fingers into his tone muscles attempting to grip something. He picked up his pace as his lips to side of my neck and started to suck on the pale skin. I knew there were going to be hickies there when we were done.“Zoey,” he murmured against my skin sending a shiver down my spine.He pulled his lips away from me and moved his hands and lightly pushed me back so I was laying down fully on the kitchen table. As he continued to thrust into me over and over again his lips moved down to my breast taking one of my nipples between his teeth.“I’m close,” I whined.Silently he removed his lips from my skin and stared right into my eyes as his metal hand moved between ups. His cool metal finger toyed with my bundle of nerves and sent me quickly over the edge. I panted riding out my high as he gripped my hips again thrusting into me a few more times before he hit his own high. He came moaning my name loudly.As he finished he leaned forwards and resting his head on my chest as he attempted to catch his breath. I reached up and lightly massaged his scalp I was riding out the end of my high.“I was expecting a nice bubble bath before you picked the place,” I joked.He slowly pulled himself off me and he held his hand out for me to grab, “come on we can go relax in the bubble bath now.”Walking off to the bathroom Bucky turned on the warm water while walked over to the sink to look into the mirror to see how man hickies Bucky left on my pale skin. I have a pretty large one on the side of my neck and one at my collarbone. I glance over at Bucky as he was adding a lot of bubbles to the water.“You know how awkward these are gonna be to explain to my mom?” I asked pointed to the bruised skin on my neck.He smiled as if he was quite proud of himself, “believe me they offered to watch Mason so we can have date night. She was well aware that date night meant sex night.”I cringed at the fact my mom knew I was having sex, “I think you owe me a back massage.”“I’ll massage anything you want,” he smirked suggestively.“I bet you will.” I light pushed his chest.He slowly stepped into the large tub that was filled with bubble. He let out low groan and closed his eyes. I walked across the bathroom and slowly stepped into bathroom and rested my curvy body against his tone on. I leaned my head back against his shoulder and let out a low moan of my own. The warm water felt amazing against my tension muscles. His metal hand reached over and rested on my round stomach as his lips pressed gently against my cheek.“I’m never getting out of this bathtub,” my groaned.He let out a soft chuckle, “I’m fine with staying in here as long you want.”I don’t even know how long we had been in the bath, but my body was still pressed against his as he aimlessly drew circles on my thigh as we talked about random things. It was times like these that made me realize how truly in love with him I was. It wasn’t like we were doing anything special we were just sitting in the bath enjoying each other’s company.“James Buchanan Barnes, I love you,” I turned my head looked up at him.“Why are we using full names?” he joked.“Because I want you to know how much I love you.”“Well Zoey Eloise Danner I love you too.”