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Achilles is swimming in the river before me, the sun beating down upon the both of us. His hair somehow sparkles underneath the light, he looks angelic. The water surrounding him glitters as well, as if the heavens have opened and chosen Achilles as one of their own. I would not doubt it. After all, he is Aristos Achaion. Best of the Greeks.Achilles looks up from the water, his eyes locking with mine. He draws me in. Automatically, I get up from my spot on the grass and slowly climb down the river bank, entering the water. It cools my skin the deeper I wade, pacifying my worries. My eyes remain watching Achilles as I swim closer to him, and his eyes follow me as I do so. The closer I get, I can see water droplets resting against Achilles' skin, making him shine brighter than before."Pat-ro-clus." Achilles breathes as I stand before him. The corners of my mouth turn up slightly at the sound of my name coming from his mouth. He notices and smiles too. "You looked lonesome on the grass.""I was watching you." I blurt out. The words escape my mouth before I can even think about what I am saying. Though Achilles, as always, takes this coolly. He grins a smug smile, and averts his eyes to the water. He raises his arm and scratches the back of his head nervously. I am in shock. Aristos Achaion does not get nervous, especially because of me."And I thought rather than watching me, you could join me." Achilles retorts, his eyes fluttering back to mine. Achilles swishes his hand underneath the water, sending a wave up and in the direction of me. The water splashes against my skin that had dried against the sweltering sun. Laughter overcomes Achilles, and while he is distracted I send a larger wave towards Achilles, which engulfs his entire torso. We both lock eyes a final time, his full of child-like joy and excitement, and mine full of love and lust. I wonder whether Achilles knows.
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We lay side by side on the river bank, the summer breeze gently dancing across our bare skin. It is so quiet that I can hear Achilles' breath, the rise and fall of his chest. The stillness before each exhale. Every now and then, I feel his leg brush against mine and it sends surges of adrenaline racing around my body. I have to hold my breath. To distract myself, I focus on the peachy colours of the sky, the honeyed sun dripping in the cloudless sky. It is beautiful. Just like Achilles.Slowly, I turn my body to face him. His rippled physique could only have been sculpted by the Gods. His brown eyes flicker over to me; he knows I have been watching him. Achilles cocks his head slightly, just enough so he can still lay on his back and face me."Do you ever think of what our lives would be like, had we stayed in Phthia? Like my father had wanted?" Achilles asks. I ponder on his question, unsure of what answer Achilles would like, but nothing comes to mind."I am not sure. The two of us would still be together, would we not?" I reply. I can see my answer has appeased him from the slight smile spread across his face."Of course we would. I can not picture a moment of my life without you. You are everywhere." Achilles smiles. You are everywhere. The words hum throughout my body and I can feel a smile creeping up on my face. I think of all the things I would like to tell him, right there and then. The sentences string in my head like poems I wish to say, but I will never let them come out. Not after that day on the beach, not after the pain I had felt when Achilles ran away."Then I do not think our lives would be much different. You would have received your training regardless, and I would have gone wherever you fled." I answer simply, though my heart yearns for me to say the words I have wanted for such a long time. I will not cave in. I will not satisfy it."Perhaps we should go back to the cave. See if Chiron needs anything of us." Achilles determines after a moment of silence. I nod and get up from the ground, and suddenly all the noise surrounding us returns. The gushing of the river. The buzz of the insects. We had just broken whatever haze we were in, and I wish we didn't. Achilles stands too, and his face is pulling a frown. I want to ask him what is wrong, but before I can open my mouth he has sprinted away, and all I can see, yet again, are the pink soles of his feet flashing as he runs. Achilles. My Achilles.
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When we arrive back at the cave, Chiron is already setting up Achilles' training for the day. Usually, I would stay and watch, but as of now I don't feel quite welcome. Achilles did not speak to me the entire journey back, either his mind was someplace else or I had done something to upset him. I hope it is the former. I watch Achilles take a wooden weapon from Chiron's hand, but I do not stay to see them fight. Instead, I wander around the forests surrounding the cave, making sure not to drift too far.The serenity of the forest overcomes me, as if I am part of it myself. Warm strands of sunlight filter in from in between the trees, gently lighting my path, guiding me on where to go. Perhaps Apollo is watching over me. I could not think why. Humming through the air is a melody, not produced from an instrument but rather the sounds of the forest colliding into one another. Above me, stretch the great arms of the trees, clothed in greens of many different shades, painted by Gaia herself. Slowly, I feel myself become a part of that art, as my hands glide against the rough bark of the trees, my feet trudge over the few fallen leaves, and my eyes gaze upon all the beauty the earth has to offer. It is mesmerising.I crouch down beneath a tree and rest my back against it's trunk, wanting to loose myself in the nature surrounding me. Despite my distance from the cave, I can still hear the harsh clash of weapons from within, and the occasional grunt from either Chiron or Achilles. I wish I could be so much more for him. I wish I could fight, I wish I could do the things Achilles does. I do not know whether the Gods pushed us together because of their kindness, or their lack of entertainment. I pretend I do not see the disgusted glares I receive wherever Achilles and I go. The sight of a golden-haired boy, with golden skin, golden eyes, golden everything; and then me. Boring Patroclus. Stumbling after Achilles like I am something that makes him see evermore glorious. The Gods have made me a mockery. However, I do not care. For I am a man and men are not supposed to care what others think of them. Not even if what others think hurts. Not even a little bit. Not at all.
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Nightfall has blanketed Mount Pelion, and the heat from the sun has been exchanged for a harsh wind. Chiron lit a fire in the clearing of the cave, all three of us huddling together for warmth. Achilles sits next to me, the side of his body hugging mine, yet he still does not speak to me. I have been wanting to ask him about it all day, but there was never a moment. Suddenly, Chiron stands up, and rubs his eyes. "I am going to bed. I would advise you both do the same, as well, for we have a busy day ahead of us," Chiron announces, "Goodnight."Achilles and I nod in unison, and we watch Chiron trot down to the end of the cave where his bed lies. Next, Achilles stands and strides towards our bed. There is an absence beside me, an emptiness. I do not like the feeling, and so I get up too and move towards the bowl of water. Achilles crawls into the bed and turns his back to the wall whilst I wash my face, he does not want to look at me. I dry my hands and enter the bed as well, but I face Achilles' toned back. "Why have you not spoken to me, all day?" I question softly, anxiously waiting Achilles' reply. "Patroclus, I do not want to speak of it." Achilles replies harshly. He says my name angrily, something I am not used to. I furrow my brows and try again."Well how long will this silence treatment last? Achilles, please tell me what is wrong." I murmur. There is a brief moment of silence, before the sheets covering us begin to ruffle as Achilles turns his body to face me. I look him in the eyes, and his sadness burns into my skin. "Why won't you speak to me?""Because of this." Achilles reaches down the sheet and grabs hold of my hand, bringing it to the surface so I can see him clasping onto me. His fingers have weaved between mine, and he holds me tightly. A simple, innocent act should not have my heart racing faster than the spears Achilles sends flying through the air, but it does. I cannot bare to take my eyes off of our hands intertwined, and I know that Achilles is staring at them too. My breathing has quickened, and I can hear the short breaths Achilles takes every second, the both of us reaching a boiling point. Slowly, I look back up at Achilles, to find him gazing back at me. The glimmer in his eyes have returned, and his skin seems to shine despite the darkness surrounding us. "Wha-"Achilles leans forward and kisses me, his soft lips pressed against mine. I feel the hotness radiate from his cheeks, like the heat from a candlelight of perhaps the sun. He feels like the flicker of a fire as his lips brush against mine, and I cannot help but get burnt. I press harder against his plump lips, every single thought of mine finally being released into this one fiery kiss. It is like I am drowning and he is my gasp of fresh air, filling my lungs and allowing me to float. Thinking about it, I cannot put into words exactly how Achilles makes me feel, but I can say it is nothing like I have ever felt before. Achilles slowly pulls away, causing my lips to part in absence. He looks at me with the widest grin I have ever seen, and the bare sight of it makes me smile uncontrollably."I was beginning to think you hated me." I breathe."On the contrary." Achilles replies, his eyes twinkling as bright as the stars in the sky.