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“Excuse me but you are the hottest guy here.” Jim scooted up next to the Vulcan who sat by himself at the bar.Jim had been surprised to see the Vulcan at this event. It was supposed to be a holiday cookie exchange party. Everyone was supposed to bring a dozen cookies and then choose someone to exchange them with. It wasn’t really Jim’s scene, but he had nothing else to do and everyone he normally hung out with had other stuff to do.And yeah, he’d cheated by buying cookies at a bakery.“My temperature is not particularly elevated,” the Vulcan said.Jim sat on the stool next to him. “And funny too.” He smiled. “Jim Kirk.”The Vulcan merely stared at him.Jim’s smile widened. “Now, see the way it works, is I say, Hi, I’m Jim Kirk.” He put his hand toward Spock’s. “And you say, hi, I’m…”Nothing.Jim grabbed Spock’s hand and pressed his to it.The Vulcan blinked but he did not move his hand away, so Jim considered that a win.“Vulcan hands are—”“I know.” Jim winked. “Jim Kirk.”“Spock.”“Success! I thought I was going to have to beg. Not that I wouldn’t have or anything. Are you alone?”“You are with me.”“Good answer. You bet I am. Want to exchange…cookies?”Spock arched a brow, which was really damn sexy, actually. “I brought gingerbread cookies.”“I brought spritz cookies. Decorated with red and green sprinkles.”“Very simple cookies.”“I know, but the truth is I don’t actually bake. I bought the cookies.” Jim gave him what he thought was a charming sheepish grin. “It’s terrible, I know, but it was all last minute. I didn’t even know this was going on until I happened to walk past a sign. See, I’m all alone this weekend. No friends. No one.” He stared into Spock’s dark eyes. “Is your apartment close?”“You are quite bold.”Jim didn’t think he imagined the green tint to Spock’s cheeks.“I told you, you’re super-hot. Insanely. I didn’t have any idea you’d be here. I’d have stepped up my game if I knew but—”“I did not come here with the idea of engaging in copulation.”“Oh my God, I might have just creamed my pants.”“Mister Kirk—”“It’s Jim. Or just Kirk, if you really have to.”“The point is, my mother wanted to come here tonight and—”“Wait. I thought you said you were alone.”“I said that you were with me.”Jim frowned. Yeah, okay, Spock never said he was alone. And now, shit, Spock wasn’t interested. Obviously. Whether because his mother was there or because he…he just wasn’t interested.It was hard to hide his disappointment, but he forced himself to smile. “Oh. Well. Yeah, that’s true. I’m sorry to have—”“Spock?”Jim turned as a really pretty dark-haired human woman wearing a flowered scarf around her head approached them. “Ma’am.”She smiled at Jim. “I’m Spock’s mother, Amanda.”“Jim Kirk.”“How lovely to meet you, Jim. Are you exchanging cookies with Spock?”“Well. I hoped to. But I think Spock—”“Yes, we are,” Spock spoke up.Jim glanced at Spock in surprise.“In fact, if you and your friend no longer need me, Jim and I thought we would have our cookies elsewhere.”“Oh.” Her eyes sparkled. “Well, yes, of course, Spock. Andi and I aren’t quite ready to leave yet, we’re still tasting cookies, but if you’d like to go with Jim, that’s fine.”Spock nodded.Amanda looked at Jim. “Your cookies must have been quite delicious to convince my son so quickly.”Jim coughed. “Yes. Um. Yes, ma’am.”“Anyway, I’ll see you later, Spock. Andi is waving me over. She’s holding a plate of shortbread.”Jim watched her walk away and he turned back to Spock. “You don’t have to—”Spock slid off his stool. “In answer to your question, Mister Kirk, my apartment is close.”“Oh.” Jim licked his dry lips. “Oh.”Spock grabbed his arm and turned him toward the exit.“Wait. What about our cookies?”“I do not like spritz cookies.” Spock pushed open the door.“Oh, thank God, because I hate gingerbread.” Jim hurried after him.
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It was silly to care, I knew that.Spock didn’t. It was just another day to him. Probably always had been. And he only indulged his illogical mate over the years.I got it. I did.But still, I stood looking out the window of our house on New Vulcan. For what? I didn’t know. Normally, we might have been in Riverside this time of year, but because of Spock’s ambassadorial duties, this year we were on New Vulcan.Except that Spock had been called away and here I was alone.Waiting for my husband to come home.How pathetic.I turned away from the window with a sigh and looked out over our house. I’d put up a small tree. Even decorated it. By myself. I felt more than a little foolish to have bothered.“Computer stop Christmas music playlist.”The strains of holiday music abruptly ceased. I eyed my gingerbread flavored tea dispassionately and picked up the cup and poured it out into the sink.“Time to grow up, Jim,” I told myself out loud.I was never going to be able to recreate happy holiday times that just never existed.The first year Spock and I had been a couple, I had mentioned Christmas.His face had gone quite blank.“Didn’t you ever, I don’t know, celebrate some kind of holiday with Uhura?” And it had been hard to even say that, because I was still a little sensitive about the whole Spock and Uhura were a couple for so long crap.“Nyota respected my Vulcan cultural differences.”I had shrunk back then from the embrace we’d been in, feeling as though I had been slapped. I turned away, desperate to hide the hurt I was certain showed.“Jim, that is not what I meant. That came out wrong,” Spock insisted.“Sure. I have to get back to the bridge.”“Jim—”And it had been better later. We’d had a small celebration, which I had been expanding on or at least trying to maintain ever since.Now, back in the present, I sighed with regret and figured I might as well just take everything down and put it away. For good this time. It seemed ridiculous now that I’d brought everything with me to New Vulcan.A week ago when Sarek had stopped by to see if I needed anything while Spock was away, I’d seen the barest hint of disapproval in his eyes at my Christmas decorations. He hid it well, but I’d seen it.Sometimes I felt as though I had been the one doing all the compromising. I knew that wasn’t fair, I did. But I was sad and lonely and depressed at that moment and all I could see was everything negative.I grabbed a plastic box and took it over to the tree to begin to remove the ornaments. The first one I removed was a tiny little replica of Vulcan Prime. I’d found it in a little Alpine Christmas shop on Earth in Germany. I’d been kind of thrilled at the time at my find but of course when I’d shown my purchase to Spock he’d made some dismissive comment about how a tiny little ornament could never really represent his planet.I should have thrown it away then, I thought, as I took it down and put it in the box.
Nyota respected my Vulcan cultural differences.
“Yeah, well fuck you,” I said out loud. “And her too. I’m not fucking Nyota.”“For which I am grateful.”I dropped the ornament I held, a squirrel holding an acorn, and turned in shock to see my husband standing just inside our house, wearing a black cloak and a turtle neck sweater in a blue that matched my eyes. I know, he’d told me he’d picked it out for that very reason.“Spock!”He inclined his head. “What are you doing, ashayam?”“Uh.” I set the box down and hurried over to him. “Never mind that. You’re home!” I threw my arms around him and he pulled me close, nosing into my hair by my ear. A thrill shot through me. “I thought you weren’t going to be back until next month.”“I was able to finish earlier than anticipated,” Spock said, his arms holding my very close indeed. “I thought my presence would be welcome for your holiday celebration.”“It is. Very much so.” I pulled back to kiss him full on the lips.Spock grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the tree. “What are you doing?” he asked again.I swallowed heavily. “Well. I, um. I was putting it all away.”Spock looked down into the box and reached down to pull out the replica of Vulcan Prime. His gaze rose to mine. And I couldn’t hold it. I looked away, not wanting him to read me just then.“Jim,” he said softly. “We can celebrate Christmas every day if that is what you wish.”I laughed and turned red. “That’s not what I want. It’s not very special if it’s every day.”His fingers touched my chin and forced me to meet his gaze. “I love you. Beyond all ordinary meaning of such simple words. I would give up all and anything to make you happy.”My tears pricked and stung my eyes. “I don’t want you to give up who you are or anything else. I just—”“I know.” Spock drew me close again, still holding the ornament at the same time. “I made it back here today to be with you, as I knew you would want. I know you, ashayam. Better than I know myself at times. I never want you to change. You are my beautiful mate.”“Spock,” I whispered into his neck.He reached past me to put the ornament back on the tree. “Come. Let’s have some of that gingerbread tea you love so much.”I smiled. “Yeah?”“Indeed. And perhaps we can even replicate cookies.”“Now you’re talking!” I laughed and pulled him toward the kitchen. And my heart was light. Spock was home.
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“We cannae beam you up at this moment, Commander.”Spock closed his eyes briefly, then opened them and tried to focus. “The captain is severely injured, Mr. Scott. Without emergency treatment, he will likely not survive.”“Spock.”The hoarse, pained whisper had him flinching, but he did not look in the captain’s direction.“Mr. Spock, if I even attempted it, your particles would break up in space. We’re working on it as fast as we can,” Scott replied, sounding as though he might cry.“Understood. Contact me as soon as you have news. Spock out.”He closed his communicator and glanced toward Jim, who lay bleeding against the wall of the cave Spock had carried his injured body to earlier. Outside, snow fell on this particular nightmare of a planet. He’d bundled the captain up as best he could, but he could see Jim shaking and his teeth chattering.“Spock, just take these blankets and wrap yourself up in them so when you’re rescued, you’ll be okay,” Jim said, his voice a weak whisper.“You need them, Captain. You are freezing.”“I’m gonna die, Spock.”“No.” He spoke too sharply. He knew that. When they were back on the Enterprise and Jim was all right, then he could reprimand Spock. “You will not die.”“You heard Scotty. He can’t get me on the ship.”“They will get you on the ship and Dr. McCoy will give you the necessary treatment and you will be all right,” Spock insisted.Spock knelt down next to Jim, who visibly shivered. His eyes were dim and pain-filled.“Spock, please, just take the blankets and stuff and stay warm.”“No.”“That’s an order.”“Court-martial me when we return to the Enterprise.”Jim closed his eyes.“Jim!”He shook his head slightly. “I’m here. I haven’t left yet.”“And you will not.” Spock reached for Jim’s hand, it was so cold, it was like he was holding a hand made from ice. Spock began to feel despondent. This could not be how it ended. No. “I will add my body heat to yours.”Jim just looked at him now and didn’t even protest which worried him even more. He placed himself next to Jim on the cave floor, gathered him close and then wrapped the emergency blankets around the two of them.“I think I should tell you something,” Spock said then.Jim did not respond, he just sagged against Spock. Breathing, though barely. Spock was beginning to panic.“I intended to discuss this with you at a more convenient time, but—”“There may not be any more time,” Jim rasped out.Spock would not say that. Could not. And he refused to even think that. “I have felt this way for many months. Perhaps longer. When we first began our romantic relationship, I should have told you then, but I held back for fear…it does not matter. I love you, Jim. And I want you as my bondmate.”Jim looked at his through pain-filled eyes. “Bondmate?”“Yes. In fact, I would bond with you right now.”“Spock—”Spock knew he was taking a big risk, but he was desperate. He could not, would not lose Jim.He put his hand on Jim’s cold face. So cold. Too cold. He spread his fingers out.“My mind to your mind. My thoughts to your thoughts. Parted and never parted. Together and always.”He was in Jim’s mind. Even as he entered, he felt the dimness, the weakening. Jim was fading. Everything that was Jim was dying. Going. Spock was nearly too late.
Jim. Come to me.
Nothing.
T’hy’la, come.
Again nothing. Jim’s consciousness faded more. Spock focused.
James. Reach for my hand.
In Spock’s mind he created an image of himself and an image of Jim. They both wore their uniforms, though Jim’s shirt was ripped and torn, covered in way too much blood. He held his hand out toward Jim.Jim’s gaze flicked to Spock’s face and then down to his hand.
Yes, ashayam. Take it. Bond with me.
Jim took a step forward, then looked down at the blood on his shirt then back up at Spock. He extended his hand again toward Jim.
Choose me.
Jim stumbled forward, his hand reaching out and Spock took a step closer to him, seizing hold of his hand, closing his fingers into Jim’s, and tugging him close. In his mind, Spock put his hand on Jim’s face, as he was doing in the cave.“We are one, always. This is the Vulcan heart, this is the Vulcan soul.”Jim’s eyes widened slightly.“Heal, my Jim.”Jim sagged against him and collapsed in Spock’s arms.****“How did you get him into the healing trance?” McCoy asked Spock much later as Jim lay on the biobed in the medbay. Jim was still much paler than Spock would have liked, but the doctor assured Spock Jim would be all right.Spock hesitated. “It is something that Vulcans and their mates can do.”McCoy looked at Spock. Frowned. “Mates? What sort of mates?”“Bondmates.”“What? When? Spock—”“Hey, no yelling.”Spock immediately turned to Jim, whose eyes were open staring openly at him and the doctor. “Jim!”McCoy immediately began to scan their captain.Jim looked past the doctor to Spock. He smiled. “Hey you.”Spock could not speak, he just looked into Jim’s beautiful blue eyes, full of life.McCoy frowned. “How do you feel?”“Good. Thanks to you, Bones. And to Spock.”“Yeah, listen, Spock said something about mates and I—“Yeah.” Jim smiled. “Spock’s my husband now. You’d better be nice.” Then he laughed softly.McCoy rolled his eyes. “I’ll be right back. Married, God help me.”Spock scooted closer and grabbed Jim’s hand. His warm hand. So warm. “Ashayam.”“Spock, I love you. And I’m pretty sure you knew that long before I told you, but are you sure about this?”“Very.”“Yeah? Because, aren’t you stuck with me now?” He smiled, but it was a little hesitant.“Negative.”“You’re not?”Spock squeezed his hand. “I am afraid you are stuck with me.”
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Jim turned from his terminal just as Spock stepped inside his quarters.“You did not attend the holiday party.”He shrugged. “I got busy. Was comming with Mom for a long time.”“The holiday party you had a part in organizing.” Spock sat on the edge of the desk. “Is there a problem with your mother?”“No. Just the holiday stuff. She’s on Deneva with my brother and his family.”“Your brother?” Spock arched a brow. “You do not mention him. Is he someone with whom you do not keep in touch?”Jim smiled. “You could say that. He left home when I was a kid. That changed my life forever and not for the good. He can rot for all I care.”Spock just stared at him, his brown eyes becoming more intense. “Is he someone I will need to take care of?”Jim raised his eyebrows. “Take care of?” He frowned, then shook his head. “No, Spock. You cannot dispatch all my enemies.”“I can, ashayam,” Spock assured him. “To do so would be my greatest honor. Name the location of your tormenters and they will cease to exist.”“Er, yeah. Sam’s just a dick, he’s not a tormenter. Not anymore.”“Past tormentor—”“Spock, no. I thought you’d be at the party longer. With Uhura.”“Nyota is still there enjoying herself.”“I hope you didn’t leave the party to check on me, Spock. It’s not necessary.”“You are my t’hy’la. My place is by your side.”“If you were enjoying yourself—” Jim stopped and laughed. “Oh. Sorry. I forgot Vulcans don’t enjoy.”“Not without their mates.” Spock fingered his beard as he looked at Jim. “There is still so much you hold back from me, Adun.”“Spock.” He shook his head.“I know you have your reasons for keeping so many things secret. You are very powerful, for one who is psi-null, in blocking large portions of your thoughts and memories.” Spock reached for Jim’s hand and held on to it. “You still do not trust that I am no threat to you. I worship you. My devotion to you is absolute, ashayam.”Jim looked down at their entwined hands. “Do you remember when you went to the other universe after the other Jim?”Spock frowned. “I thought you no longer thought about that time. That you had forgiven me my trespasses.”“I have forgiven you,” Jim agreed, his gaze rising to Spock. “But no longer think about it? That is not possible.”“Jim.” The Vulcan fidgeted, looking suddenly quite vulnerable.“I love you,” he assured Spock. He brought Spock’s hand to his lips and kissed the fingers there, earning him a shiver. “I do. I think I did even before you betrayed me by going after the other Jim Kirk.”“I was a fool. I loved you, but you seemed completely unattainable.”“I was then,” Jim admitted. “I wanted nothing to do with you or anyone. I was convinced you would murder me given the chance.”“Perhaps then I would have. I would give my life a hundred times over for you. You are my life.”Jim smiled and kissed Spock’s hand once more. “You are my holiday miracle.”Spock’s brows furrowed. “We did not get together during the holidays.”Jim laughed. “I know, babe. The thing is, when you left our universe to go find some pale, ridiculous imitation of me—”“He was not ridiculous. He was precious and did not—”“Watch yourself, Vulcan.” His eyes narrowed.“He can never compare to you, my Adun.”“I was…furious. Hurt. Betrayed. And I wanted you dead.”“James—”Jim got up from his desk chair and straddled Spock’s legs, putting his arms around his Vulcan. “Not anymore, babe. Not anymore.”Spock kissed him, deep and hard and hungry. “I will destroy anyone that comes near you.”“I just…I trust you. I wouldn’t be here with you, if I didn’t. But you’re the only one I trust. Probably the only one I can ever trust. And I hope that you really do love me.”“Beyond belief,” Spock whispered. He pulled Jim close, burying his face in Jim’s chest. “That you even give me the time of day—”“Shh. No talk like that. It’s the holidays. Why don’t we both quit working and have some fun?”Spock leaned back to meet his gaze. “You want to go to the party?”“Do I look crazy? Don’t answer that. I avoided that revelry on purpose. You know that. I could have spoken to Mom another time. Parties give me the—”“Willies. Yes, I am aware of your odd Terran phrases.” Spock pulled him closer. “And I know why. I will dispatch—”“Spock.” Jim gave him a look. “By fun, I meant take me to bed and fuck me over and over until I can’t stand up and I can’t sit in the captain’s chair tomorrow.”Spock’s lips twitched. “That does not seem particularly unusual.”Jim smacked him upside the head. “Don’t be smug, Vulcan.”“That should be ‘don’t be smug, husband.”“Don’t be smug, Vulcan husband. Satisfied?”Spock straightened, scooped him up and carried him toward their bed. “No, but I will see that we both are.”“Did I give you permission to carry me?”“Negative, my worshipped one.”Jim sighed as Spock carefully placed him on the bed. “I shall have to punish you later.”Spock arched a brow. “I look forward to any punishment you can dole out, my T’hy’la.”“Yes, I am your T’hy’la and don’t you fucking forget it.” He leaned up, so Spock could finish removing his clothes. “Show me. Show me how much you love and want me.”“I will show you repeatedly.”Jim smirked. “Merry Christmas. Come.” He dragged Spock to him. “I want to unwrap my present.”
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“We don’t have time for this,” Frank growled.Winona ignored him as her gaze surveyed the space station for her son. Where he’d gone to, she didn’t know. She had just gone to the bathroom and had left Frank there to keep an eye on him. Obviously she couldn’t trust him to do anything right.“The shuttle leaves in less than ten minutes,” the man next to her whined.She had grown to hate him. What she had ever seen in him, she no longer knew. It was thanks in large part to him that she’d nearly lost two sons. Sam was gone. She didn’t know where to find him. Had just walked off one day, Frank told her. Jim confirmed it. And then Frank had sent Jim away.To that hell hole.Yes, she hated him.But she hated herself more. This was really her fault, wasn’t it? If George had lived he would be so disgusted with her. But of course—“Wi, the shuttle.”God, she had grown to hate that nickname. She turned on him. “Well, why did you let him out of your sight?”“The little shit tricked me,” Frank protested. “Said he wanted something from the vending machine.” Frank looked sullen. “And you said to feed him whenever he was hungry because-because-”“I know why.”Overhead they announced final boarding for the shuttle.“If we don’t go now we’re going to miss it! There’s not another shuttle back to Earth until tomorrow morning.”“You get on the shuttle,” Winona said. “I’m not leaving here without my boy.”“He could be anywhere. He might even be on another shuttle to somewhere else. Look—”“Go, Frank,” she said, giving him a shove. “Get out of here. And when you get to Riverside, you can get your stuff out of my house.”“Wi—”“I’m done, Frank. I should have been done before you destroyed my family. Get on that shuttle and out of our lives for good!”“Bitch,” he muttered as he turned and headed for the ramp that would take him onto the shuttle and back to Earth and away from her and her son for good. She only hoped it really would be that easy.“Ma’am.”She turned toward the guard she had reported Jim missing to earlier. “Did you find my son?”He nodded. “I think so. Come this way.”They rounded a corner and then she saw her boy. So skinny, like a skeleton, really, and she wanted to weep at the sight, but she had to be strong for him. For her son. He was only thirteen and so fragile right now.Jim was not alone though. He sat on the floor of a waiting area, sitting in the corner next to a boy who looked a few years older than him and Vulcan, from the looks of it. They looked to be having a very intense conversation. Jim kept nodding at whatever the Vulcan boy said, but she was relieved to see that Jim didn’t look afraid.“Is that him?” the guard asked.“Yes. Yes, thank you.”She hurried over. “Jimmy!” Jim flinched as he looked up at her, blue eyes wide behind his glasses. He shrank back against the Vulcan boy. Her heart clenched in her chest. She forced herself to relax and to smile. “There you are, honey.”“Hi Mom.” He glanced at the boy with him, who stared at her with dark, intense eyes. “Mom, this is Spock. Spock, my mom.”“Hello, Spock. It’s nice to meet you.”Spock held up his hand in a Vulcan gesture she could not recall the name of but before he could do more than raise it, a human woman dashed up to them, and she was holding two drinks. She smiled at Winona.“Hello there. I’m Amanda Grayson. Spock’s mother. You must be Jim’s mother.”Winona nodded. She was surprised the Vulcan had a human mother. She had never met any Vulcan who seemed to be particularly tolerant of humans, yet she could see that Spock sat very close to Jim, and her son did not seem to mind.“Jim got lost, I guess, looking for food and something to drink, so I thought I’d just leave him here with my son while I got them a drink. And some candy.” She held up candy bar. “Is Jim allowed to have this?”“Oh,” Winona said faintly. “Yes. Yes, he can.”“Wonderful.” Amanda handed the drink and candy to Jim and then handed a drink to the Vulcan boy. “I was intending to have them page you after I brought their drinks.” She lowered her voice. “It’s just…he seemed so hungry, you know and I thought–““Yes. Thank you. Come, Jim.”He bit his lip. “Do I have to go?”“Jim—”Spock said something very softly to Jim that she couldn’t hear. But whatever it was, Jim nodded, and stood up, going over to Winona. Spock also stood.“Where’s Frank?” Jim asked then, looking around.Winona patted Jim’s arm, and then turned to the woman and her son. “Thank you so much for looking after him. What do I owe you for the drink and candy?”“Oh, nothing. It was a small thing we could do. I’m glad you found your mama, Jim. Please stay safe. Come, Spock.”Winona drew Jim away as the woman and her son departed. “Honey, Frank is gone.”Jim frowned. “He left on the shuttle without you?”“I told him to go,” she said fiercely. She hugged his small bones, tears springing to her eyes. “He’s never ever coming back.”“He…isn’t?”“No,” she whispered. “It’s just the two of us from now on, Jimmy. I promise. Nobody else. You’re going to be my priority.” She drew back and put her hand on his cheek. “We can’t go out of the space station until tomorrow. So we’ll get a room tonight. But in the meantime, are you hungry?”Jim nodded, swallowing.And of course he was hungry. It was a stupid question.“We’re going to have a big dinner.” She held his hand, gently for his bones were fragile, and she turned to call out, as a thought occurred to her, “Amanda!”Amanda Grayson and her son, Spock, stopped, and turned back toward them.Winona smiled. “We have some time here. And Jimmy and I are going to have dinner at that restaurant down at the end near gate D. Would you like to join us?”Spock turned that intense gaze on his mother, who smiled. “Yes, I think Spock and I would very much like to join you.”Jim brightened instantly and he gave Winona a very tentative smile, but it was there, as he hurried to walk beside the Vulcan boy, who said nothing, but inclined his head in a way that seemed to please Jim, and they made their way to the restaurant.“I’m Winona…Kirk.” She’d about to introduce herself with her married name with Frank, but then changed at the last minute. “And of course, you’ve met Jim.”“Yes. And Spock is my son with my husband, Ambassador Sarek. We’re on our way back to Vulcan, but we don’t depart for a few hours ourselves.”And she continued to chat as they walked along and Winona watched as Jim’s step was just a little lighter.
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All Jim wanted to do was go home, get undressed, and soak in a tub full of bubbles for hours. Maybe days. He was beat. Exhausted beyond imagining. How he was still walking, Jim didn’t know.When he reached his building he stopped at the door and looked up. Half the time the lifts didn’t work and he had to take the stairs. He might just cry if that was the case today.Jim pushed open the doors and stepped inside the dark, shadowy lobby area. He eyed the lift with a baleful eye, noting the sign that declared “Out of Order".Dejected, no doubt unreasonably, Jim turned toward the stairwell. The door handle was covered in someone’s slobber or something. With a grimace, he wiped his hands on his pants and went up the first flight.It became a near thing that he just gave up and sat down on the landing when he’d reached the third floor. But he trudged up to the fourth floor, holding onto the railing, breathing heavily.At the fifth, he opened the door onto the corridor and walked down toward the opposite end of the hall to Number 512.He waved his hand vaguely across the door and it clicked open, allowing him entry. He made it just the few feet to the sofa and sank down gratefully. He closed his eyes.“Jim!”His eyes flew open and he jumped. “What?”Spock stood there staring down at him. He wore a long white robe that honestly resembled one of Jim’s own terry cloth bathrobes.“When did you get home?”“Just a moment ago.” Come to think of it, it might be one of his own robes. Whatever. Spock looked good. “You are wheezing.”His lungs, damaged from one too many radiating missions, had decided he had asthma some months back. “Stairs.”“You should have contacted me.”Jim smiled slightly. “To do what? Climb on your back piggyback style while you race up the stairs?”Spock sniffed. “Where is your inhaler?”“Forgot it.”Spock walked away. Jim watched him bemusedly. He returned a moment later holding out Jim’s inhaler.“We need to move.”Up went the eyebrow. “Again?”‘Well.” He sucked in some air. “The lift never works.”“It is close to headquarters and allows you to walk.”He sucked in more air and then set it on the cushion next to him. “At least let’s think about it. God, I’m exhausted. I have to get up and start a bath.”“Already started.”Jim smiled. “Yeah?”Spock nodded. “I have also poured you a glass of whiskey and have your favorite meat casserole in the oven.”“Now if I can just move.”Spock reached down and hauled him to his feet. But it was gently. Jim leaned against him anyway. Spock’s arms came around him.“I believe it is time to talk to them about decreasing your hours, adun.”“Hmm. Maybe.” He sighed. “Ugh. I’m so tired. Carry me.”Suddenly everything shifted and he was uplifted into Spock’s arms.“Spock! I was kidding!”Spock carried him into the bathroom and started lowering him into the tub filled with hot sudsy water. In a manly scent, of course.Jim laughed. “Spock! I was kidding. Put me down. I’m still wearing my clothes!”
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To say Jim was startled when he entered to see Spock already waiting there would be an understatement. It was true that he was a few minutes later than he’d said he’d be. He could chalk that up to Bones, who took ten minutes longer than usual to tell some story Jim had already heard before. It was a funny story though and with Bones latest embellishments, added for purely showing off purposes, it had amused Jim even more.But he had told Spock they could play chess at 1900 hours and clearly Spock had taken him quite seriously.It was unusual for Spock to access Jim’s quarters when Jim was not there though.“Oh. Hi, Spock.”“Hello, baby.”Jim blinked. He could not have just heard what he thought he’d heard.“Uh. Give me a moment, okay? I want to get out of this uniform.”Jim pulled off his tunic and walked over to the laundry chute. He felt Spock’s gaze on him, and wondered at it. He shook his head and dropped his tunic into the chute. Then reached for the hem of his undershirt.As he did so, his gaze fell on the open heart-shaped box of chocolates lying on his desk. At least half of the wrappers were empty.Jim turned quickly to stare at Spock and almost ran into him, for he’d moved a lot closer.“I can assist you with that,” Spock murmured.“Spock, have you been eating those?”Spock followed Jim’s gaze. “Indeed, I began to consume them an hour ago. I received them as a gift.”Jim frowned. “From whom?”He was not jealous. At all. Because he completely did not have a right. Spock could receive gifts from whomever and Jim had nothing to say about it.Spock shrugged. “Anonymous.”“Anonymous,” Jim repeated.“I suspect that they are from Nyota, however.”“Wouldn’t she have just put her name on it?”“There was no name, but they are similar to chocolates she has presented me with in the past.”“Oh.” Jim turned away and pulled off his undershirt. “I wasn’t aware you guys were, um, you know. Still exchanging gifts for you know, that stupid day.”“You believe Valentine’s Day is stupid?”“Pretty much.” Jim dropped his undershirt, so he bent over and picked it up. Spock’s hand landed on his butt. Jim froze. “Commander.”“Yes, baby?”Jim laughed, straightened and turned around. “Have you really eaten all those chocolates? I guess you have. Why would Uhura give you those of all people? I mean she has to know.”Spock nodded. “She does. They are for courage.”“Courage, huh? Take it from me, Spock, using intoxication for courage is never a good thing.” Jim stepped over to his wardrobe, took out his t-shirt, and pulled it on over his head. Then he went back to where Spock stood. “Baby, huh?”Spock looked unexpectedly intense and sincere as he stared into Jim’s eyes. “I will use whatever your preferred endearment is.”Jim smiled. “You don’t need endearments. You know why I keep inviting you over for chess?”“To improve your obvious lack of finesse in playing?”He laughed. “No. I don’t even really like it much. I used to play with Sam before he left and before I took up with you, I hadn’t played in years.”“Then why—”“To spend time with you,” Jim said, carefully. “Baby.”Spock straightened a little, but green had splashed across his cheeks. “I apologize for my earlier assault of your person.”“My–”“My accosting of your…derriere.”“Oh.” Jim nodded. “It’s only assault if I object. And I don’t.”“That is good to hear.” Spock made an odd sound between a burp and a choke.“Uh.” Jim stepped back. “I think you might want to sit down, Spock, while I get you a trash can.”“But I wish to—”“Yeah, me too. It’s going to have to wait, though, honey.”Oh.” Spock’s eyes widened. “I like that better.”Jim laughed again. “Sit down. I’ll get the trash.”Spock nodded, staggered toward the bed, suddenly covered his mouth, and with a pained cry, threw up all over the coverlet Jim’s mom had sent him.“Damn.” Jim eyed the half eaten box of chocolate. “This is definitely going in the trash.” He stepped over to it. “After I try one, of course.” He took a bite and closed his eyes. “Oh, my God. No wonder you ate so many.”“Jim,” Spock moaned, sagging to the floor next to the bed.“Oh. Um. Yeah. Sorry.” Jim went over to Spock. “Are you going to barf more?”Spock shook his head.“Okay, then, um, let’s get you cleaned up. And the bed obviously, too.”“I am sorry.”“No, no, it’s fine.”“But my declaration—”Jim smiled. “Was perfect. I’m not a subtle guy, Spock. Patting my ass and calling me baby is the kind of blunt declaration I go for.”He helped Spock to his feet and started toward the bathroom. “Hang on.” He leaned Spock against the wall and hurried over to the chocolates, popping another into his mouth. “These things are insanely good.”“I thought you wished to throw them away.”“Er, yeah. But um, why waste food?” Jim brushed hair out of Spock’s eyes. “You’re beautiful, you know that?”“Even with vomit—”Jim laughed. “Well, not as beautiful.” He rolled his eyes. “Come on, Mr. Romance. Let’s clean you up.”
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“Should I send chocolate to Jo?”“Huh?” Jim’s steps faltered in the grocery store where he walked beside Bones.“You know. For Valentine’s Day.”“Oh. Um. Sure, I guess. Does she like chocolate?”Bones smirked. “Doesn’t every kid?” He stopped before a display of brightly colored heart shaped boxes. He eyed Jim. “What about you?”“Me? Since when have we exchanged Valentine’s Day gifts?”“Not with me, genius. Aren’t you…well whatever…?”“Involved in a sexual relationship? Yes.”“So, there’s like no feelings there or anything.”Jim eyed the glittery boxes with a baleful stale. “None worth these monstrosities.”“A romantic to the end, our Jim.”“Well. It’s not, um, you know. Not like that.” He felt himself turning hot and red, probably to match the candy boxes. But really.“I see.”“Well, it’s not like we have, you know, conversations and stuff. Candlelight dinners.”“So, it’s just bend over and take it?" Bones chortled and Jim turned redder. His friend held up his hands. “Kidding. You know what? I just don’t care that much about whatever goes on between you guys.” He made a face. “Maybe chocolate is a bad idea. A toy? Like a doll? Or maybe jewelry.”“Or maybe a gift card and let her pick out her own gift.”“That’s no fun. And not much thought into it.”Jim shrugged.“I know, look who I’m talking to.”“You know my family isn’t much into gift giving and celebrations.”“I know. That would mean you’d actually have to see each other.”“Exactly. And God knows why we’d want to do that.” Jim picked up a large pink, sequined box. “How about this one?”“Yeah, that one’s nice. I’ll go with that.”They walked away from the display.Bones suddenly grabbed Jim’s arm. “Look who’s here.”They watched the tall, slender Vulcan enter the story and briefly pause in the doorway as he surveyed the store.Jim opened his mouth to call out to him but Bones elbowed him in the stomach. He gave Bones a look.“Let’s see what he does,” Bones whispered, drawing Jim away to the next aisle.They watched as the Vulcan, Spock, stepped over to the display of heart shaped chocolate boxes. Jim frowned but Bones grinned.“Isn’t that too sweet?”“Shut up,” Jim whispered furiously.Spock chose a big red heart with a ribbon bow and then walked up to the front of the store to the register. He quickly paid and left the store.“Well?” Bones said.“Well, er, what?”“Come on, Jim. You have to get him something now.”Jim bit his lip. He was so sure Spock wouldn’t be into Valentine’s Day. It was so unlike him. They’d even talked about it before and how stupid it was. It made no sense.“I can’t get him chocolate, Bones.”“Get him something else then.”“Like what?”“I don’t know, do I?” Bones laughed suddenly. “Sexy underwear.”“Sexy…what?”****On Valentine’s Day, Jim went to Spock’s apartment. After a particularly vigorous sex session, Spock said he would get them takeout for dinner, and that Jim could take his time getting out of bed and getting dressed.Jim got up, grabbed his clothes and went to go into the bathroom when he saw the big red heart box Spock had got for him. With a smile, he walked over to it. He’d left the wrapped package of the red silk boxers he’d bought for Spock in his book bag when he’d first got there as it had felt a little weird to give it straight away to him.His smile widened when he spotted the tag Spock had included. He flipped over the heart shaped tag.“To: Nyota, From: Spock.”Jim dropped the tag and backed away, disappointment coursing through him.Of course it hadn’t been for him. What had he been thinking, anyway?Nyota was just a friend. That much Jim had known. So he knew there wasn’t any grand romantic gesture on Spock’s part in giving her the candy. Likely, his mom had told him to or someone like that.His disappointment didn’t come from romantic jealousy. But from his own foolishness at thinking he was getting a present. Gifts were for suckers. Jim’s family had taught him that. And expectations were for fools.He went to his book bag, took out the package and stuffed it into the back of Spock’s sock drawer. Then he texted Spock.“Oh, hey. Can’t stay for dinner after all. Sorry. I’ll be in touch.”Jim hit send before he chickened out.He was on his way out when he spotted a white envelop on the coffee table. He stopped. From where he stood he could see his name in Spock’s ridiculously neat handwriting.Jim bit his lip, walked over, and picked up the unsealed envelope. Inside was a card.It was a rather artistic drawing of a Vulcan with a pulsing heart at his side, beating, or the drawing was meant to imply a beating heart anyway. Inside were the words,
I want you to live long and prosper…with me.
Just then the door to Spock’s apartment opened and Spock stepped inside holding two bags of takeout. He stared at Jim.“You are still here. I received your note and—”Jim rushed over to Spock and threw his arms around the Vulcan, kissing him hard. Spock seemed startled a moment, but then returned the kiss with equal fervor.“Bones is right. I am an idiot.”“I do not understand.”“I know. But I swear, from now on, I’m going to be better.”“About what?” Spock asked cautiously.“About everything.”“Then…are you staying?”“I’m staying. And there’s something else.”“What?”“I’ve been practicing this. Um.” He leaned in and whispered in Spock’s ear.Spock’s arms tightened around him.“Did I say it right?”“What were you trying to say, Jim?”“Happy Valentine’s Day, I love you, in Vulcan.”Spock’s lips twitched but his eyes were shining. “I love you as well, however, you did not say Happy Valentine’s Day.”Jim frowned. “No? What did I say? I got the words from your family and they said—”“You said that you were mine forever, that you were obedient, that you loved me…”“Oh.” Jim smiled and nodded. “That’s okay then.”“And you like to cluck like a chicken.” Spock paused to let Jim laugh. “Sybok?”“How did you know?”Spock shook his head. “An educated guess.”“We can reheat the food,” Jim said. “I have a present for you in the room. I’m dying to see you wearing it.”Spock arched a brow, but he hurried after Jim, leaving the food containers on the coffee table as he passed by.
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“Okay. Did you wash your hands?”“Yes.”“Hold them up. Let me see.”The little dark haired boy with the not quite bowl cut and the pointy ears held up his hands for Jim to inspect.“Hm. Keep them up. Might as well practice. Do the ta’al so we can surprise your Sa-Mekh with what you learned.”The boy made a face. He used one tiny hand to move the fingers apart on the other tiny hand.Jim tried not to laugh. “Better. You’ll get there.” He resisted, barely, ruffling the hair of Surak. Spock had taken a bit of flak for naming his son after the most famous Vulcan, but as was typical Spock, he didn’t pay them much attention.“Okay. So. Now, your Sa-Mekh left you in my care for the night. Did he tell you that you can have pizza?”“No.”Jim nodded. “Did he tell you that you can’t have pizza?”“No.”“Hmm. Well, that’s too bad. How can I be a terrible influence then? All right, sit at the table.”Surak, who was all of four years old, dutifully scurried over to Jim’s dining room table and crawled into a seat. He didn’t need a booster seat anymore but it was a near thing.Jim went to the kitchen and opened the box for the pizza meant for Surak and took out two slices. He took out two slices of his own pizza too, and went to the table with both.“Yours has a cauliflower crust and vegan cheese.”Surak wrinkled his nose. “Yuck.”Jim laughed. “I’m totally kidding. It’s a regular crust, tomato sauce and regular cheese. You’re vegetarian not vegan.”Surak picked up a slice and took a bite, chewing happily. He eyed Jim’s piece. “That looks good.”“Oh it is. But it’s got pepperoni on it and your Sa-Mekh would be very angry with me if I let you have it. He wouldn’t leave you with me anymore.”Surak agreed with a nod and continued to eat his pizza. He also got sauce all over his little face.“You’re supposed to eat it not wear it,” Jim admonished, but not too severely. “You want more?”“No. Maybe for breakfast.”“Ha, fat chance on that. Your Sa-Mekh wouldn’t let you eat pizza for breakfast.” Jim got up and went into his kitchen for a wet wipe and returned, wiping Surak’s face and hands. “PJ’s?”“Please.”He was so darn cute saying please. Just like a little adult. None of this ‘pease’ other little obnoxious children said.He took Surak’s hand and walked with him into the bedroom where he’d left the bag that Spock had given him with Surak’s things he was to use for the night. He unzipped it and dug inside, pulling out feety pajamas.“These are them?” he asked, surprised. They were kind of golden and brown and had a furry looking collar around the throat. “Is it supposed to be a lion?”Surak said, “Yes. I like lions. Sa-Mekh said we can go look at them at the San Francisco zoo on Saturday. Are you coming?”“Of course I am.” He removed the boy’s shirt and pants and then helped him into the pajamas, noting the feet were paws. He couldn’t help but smile at the image of Spock picking these out.With Surak all situated in his absurdly cute lion pajamas, Jim took him back out of the living room.“Okay, you can watch one program and then it’s off to bed. I promised your Sa-Mekh you’d be put to bed at a reasonable time.”“Popcorn.”“What?”“You said I could have popcorn.”“I did? Oh. Yeah. I did. All right.”“Caramel popcorn,” Surak reminded him.“Your Sa-Mekh will not thank me for getting you jacked up on sugar.”But he led Surak into the kitchen to pop the popcorn and melt the caramel. He then mixed the two, threw it in a bowl and went back to the living room with Surak, both of them curling up on sofa to watch the show Surak had picked out for them to watch.It was a couple of hours later when Jim sort of blinked awake at the sound of someone accessing the apartment door. Surak stayed completely asleep against him.Spock walked in, arching that picture perfect brow at him.“How was he?”“Completely perfect and adorable, of course.” Jim shifted and Surak woke up, rubbing his eyes as he did so.“Look, kiddo, here is your Sa-Mekh!”Surak scrambled up from Jim’s lap and ran to Spock, hugging his legs. “You are earlier than anticipated.”Spock leaned down and scooped his son up into his arms. “I am. I finished early and could not wait to return to you.”“And to Daddy!”Spock met Jim’s gaze over their son. “And to Daddy.”Jim leaned over and kissed Spock’s lips. “Welcome home.”
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It was ten minutes past the time Jim was supposed to meet them, but Spock knew that was hardly unusual. Ever since Admiral Evans had retired, Jim had been taking on far more duties than he probably should. He’d told Spock that he was only going to HQ for an hour or so that Saturday morning, but an hour after he’d left, Jim had messaged him that he would just meet Spock and Surak at the San Francisco Zoo.“He’s not coming,” Surak said, forlorn.“He did not message me indicating that.” Spock paused as he surveyed the crowd. “He will be here.”Spock hoped he was not lying to his son.And then a moment later, he felt the prickle of Jim nearby just as Surak hopped up and down.“Daddy’s coming!”Sure enough, Jim came into view. He’d changed from the admiral’s uniform he’d worn that morning and now wore ripped blue jeans, a gray T-shirt, and a red plaid flannel shirt over that, left unbuttoned. He looked, of course, completely gorgeous.Surak immediately started to run toward him.“Surak, no running.”His son ignored him and reached Jim in seconds. Jim swooped up the boy with a laugh, holding him close.“Hey there, Tiger.”“Not a tiger, Daddy. Lion.”“Oh. Right. Yeah. A lion. Hey there, Lion.”’Jim reached Spock with their son and leaned in to peck Spock on the lips. “Hi, Sweetheart.”“You are late.”“I know. Went home to change.” He smiled at Surak. “To make up for it I’ll get you the biggest stuffed animal of your choice.”“Yay!”“Jim.”“Oh, come on, Spock. If I can’t spoil our son, who can I spoil?” His smile widened. “I’ll buy you one too, if you want.” He winked at Spock, who rolled his eyes.“Sa-Mekh already got the tickets.”“Of course he did. Your Sa-Mekh is very efficient. Shall we?”Once inside, he set Surak down so that the boy could walk, though it was more like running, and Spock hoped that meant he would be burning a lot off of his manic energy, something he somehow had gotten from Jim, though they were not biologically related.“Jim.” They stopped before an enclosure with flamingos.“Hmm?”“I have been thinking about a blue-eyed, blond-haired child.”Jim glanced at him. “I’m sorry?”“I am speaking of expanding our family. Surak was created through me and a surrogate. I would like to suggest using you and a surrogate for our next child.”“Our next?”Spock nodded. “It would please me greatly for that child to resemble you. If you recall, when we first bonded and married, we spoke of filling our home with the love and laughter of children.”“Uh. Well. Yeah. We did.” Jim watched Surak for a moment and then looked back at Spock. “With the job—”“We can handle it, Adun.”“Are you sure? Because the bulk of it will be on you. And you did mention wanting to move more into diplomacy and perhaps ambassadorship, like your dad and the other you.”“There is time for that, Jim.” Jim nodded. “Yeah. I mean, if you think there is. By the time a baby would be born, I’d probably be okay to take some parental leave.”“I am certain.”His mate blew out a breath. “Well.”“Come on, Daddy.” Surak reached for Jim’s hand and tugged him from the flamingos and down a pathway toward the next exhibit. Spock dutifully followed.For the moment, Spock let Jim just enjoy the day with Surak as their little boy, excitedly dashed from animal to animal. When they reached the lions, Surak grew pensive.“Daddy?”“Yeah, kiddo?” Jim crouched down next to him.“Why are they in a cage?”“Well, the enclosure protects them from us and us from them. It’s not ideal, of course. But see these animals are here because this zoo works for conservation and to preserve them so they don’t become extinct like so many other animals that used to roam the Earth. They study them so they can protect them from being destroy by humans. And maybe when you have children of your own someday, these beautiful animals will still be here on Earth.”Surak put his little hand on the glass. “I want to help save them.”“That would be fantastic.”Surak turned to Jim, putting his hands on Jim’s face. “Up.”Jim laughed. “Okay, okay.” He stood up and picked up their son, carrying him to the next exhibit.And later, when they wandered the gift shops so that Surak could choose his animal, a stuffed lion, of course, bigger than the boy himself, Spock thought dryly, as Jim also allowed Surak to pick out one of those giant sugar flavored hard candy on a stick, Jim leaned over and whispered to Spock, “Yes, let’s do it. Let’s have another.”
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“Wow, he’s so cute.”“Nyota.”“Well.” She giggled. “He is. Look he’s kicking his legs.”Sure, enough Jim, aged six, sitting on the edge of the biobed in the medbay, swinging his legs back and forth. Spock had the very human urge to pinch the bridge of his nose.“This is not amusing, Nyota.”“Spock, Leonard said it’s temporary. The effects should wear off in a few hours.”“Or a few days. The Morapai on the planet were not very specific.”Jim, blue eyes wide and stark in his face, glanced toward them. “Spock.”“You’d better go to him. Poor baby looks freaked out.”“He is not the only one.”Nyota touched his arm. “Spock, it’ll be okay. Jim will go back to normal, and in the meantime, you’ve got this.”“I have not had much experience with children.”“Maybe not, but you’re going to be fine. And this is not an ordinary child. This is your husband.”She pushed him toward little Jim, whose bottom lip had begun to tremble. Spock felt his heart clench.“Jim, there is no reason to be upset,” he said gently.“Are you kidding?” the little boy asked. “My feet don’t reach the ground!”“The doctor says it will be gone in just a short time and you will be yourself again.”Little Jim’s teeth pulled at his bottom lip. He’d seen Jim do it dozens of times. Now seeing him as a boy tugged at Spock’s heart.“What if Bones is wrong?” His tiny voice warbled.Spock had the same thought, of course, but he could not admit this to Jim. “He is not. He spoke to the elders on the planet. You only have to have a little patience.” He paused. “If you wish, I can take you to our quarters to wait, rather than your having to stay here in the medbay.”“Yeah. Please. You know I hate it here.”Jim struggled to get down and when Spock saw that he was getting frustrated, he went over to the biobed and lifted Jim off and to the floor.He went to release the boy’s hand, but Jim tightened his grip and so Spock didn’t try to pull away again. Spock was grateful they didn’t run into anyone on their way to the quarters, because he knew Jim would not be happy to have his crew see him like this, and though Spock figured the word had likely spread, it was better not to get the visual confirmation.Once they were in their quarters, Spock turned to Jim. “Would you like something to eat?”“I want to take a shower.”“Very well. But it has been a while since you have eaten, so when you come out, I will replicate you something. Your choice?”“Spaghetti?”Spock nodded. “Do you wish for me to assist you, Jim?”Jim seemed to think about it. “Maybe. I-I don’t think I can reach the shower handle.”“Go in and get undressed and I will be in there in a moment.”After Jim went into their bathroom, Spock looked toward his meditation alcove hopefully, but he forced himself to squelch the desire. Right now he needed to support and help his mate, not be concerned for his own needs.Straightening he went into bathroom.Jim stood by the shower, eyes watery. He was still fully clothed.“Ashaya, come here.”Spock dropped to his knees and held out his arms. Jim ran to him and Spock pulled him close, hugging him tightly. He felt the wetness on Jim’s face and his heart beat hard and painfully in his side.“I just want to be normal,” Jim said, hiccupping.Spock closed his eyes. “Shh. Come. Let us get your dinner. You can shower later.”Spock got Jim spaghetti and then a hot fudge sundae. The boy ate silently, which was quite strange for Spock, because Jim was never silent unless very troubled.When he was finished, he asked Jim, “Do you still wish to shower?”Jim shook his head. “Just go to bed. Maybe I’ll wake up myself again.”When he was in bed and Spock had tucked all the covers around him, Jim stared up at Spock, blue eyes still too watery for Spock’s liking.“You make me realize one thing,” Spock said.“What?”“I want us to have a little boy who looks just like you someday.”The slightest smile appeared on Jim’s face. “G’night.”“Good night little one.”Spock meditated for an hour and then pulled out a Murphy bed from the wall to sleep.He was awakened early by the sound of the shower running. He glanced at the bed and saw that, sure enough, Jim was up. Spock flopped back down staring up at the ceiling, waiting for the boy to find out what he’d want for breakfast.Then he sat up. The shower was running. Little Jim had said he couldn’t reach the shower handle. Spock slipped out of bed and to the bathroom door. He opened it and peered in.“Good morning,” Jim called cheerfully. “You can come in. It’s all right.”Spock did and sure enough his full grown mate was back, grinning from ear to ear.Spock smiled in response. He could not help it. A part of him had doubted that Jim would return to himself and Spock was inordinately glad his doubts were for nothing.“I’ll get your coffee,” Spock told him, then turned back to their room.He replaced the Murphy bed and got to work.All was well again.
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“So, um, you want to learn to play poker?”Spock nodded. “That is what I said.”Jim bit his lip. Turned away from Spock to pour himself a drink. Red wine tonight. A gift from Bones on his last birthday.
“Got it on our last shore leave, Jim, been saving it ever since.”
Spock was in his quarters now. He’d come to play chess, which they’d started to do once a week after the newly built Enterprise had begun its voyage after the whole Krall mess.They’d kept it pretty casual, at first. They’d started in the rec room playing just one game each week. Though Spock won most of them, Jim had a few good days in there, too.It moved to their quarters when Jim was running late one week and contacted Spock to say he would be later still. Spock had suggested he would just bring the chess set there. Jim had hid his surprise and agreed.The next week, Spock had suggested playing chess in his quarters, and ever since they’d alternated between Jim’s and Spock’s. Never returning to the rec room. And they generally played several games now.“Well, I think it was Bones who said he’d like to teach you,” Jim said, taking a sip.There had been talk of poker when they’d been confronted by a hostile alien, or so they’d thought at the time. Balok. Jim had bluffed and suddenly Spock became interested in poker.“You do not wish to teach me?”There was just the hint of a tone in Spock’s voice that Jim could not quite place, but he knew it made him feel bad. “No, no. Not at all, Spock. You want to learn, that’s fine. Um, generally, it’s more than a couple of players though.”“I see.”“Yeah. So, you want me to find out if anyone else is available to play with us?”Which honestly, Jim was not at all keen on the intrusion into his private time with Spock, and he feared it would quickly become a thing where everyone played every week, and there would go any alone time he had managed to obtain with Spock, which he’d won with a lot of effort, but, if Spock wanted him to get a group going for poker, Jim would do it.“Is that the norm for strip poker?”Jim stumbled forward, spilling wine on the floor. “What? Did you say…strip poker?”“I have been doing some research prior to broaching the subject with you, of course.”“Of course you have.” Jim went over to the bathroom for a cloth to wipe up the spilled wine. He bent down and cleaned up the mess. “I don’t think that’s a really good idea. Sit down, Spock.”Spock took his seat dutifully. Jim had already set up the chess set, but as Jim sat across from Spock, it remained untouched.“There are a series of hands that beat other hands.”“Indeed, I researched those.”“Good. That gives us a head start. Basically, poker is a lot of bluffing.”“As you did with Balok.”“Right. So, with the hand you’re dealt, unless you get a royal flush dealt to you, which believe me, doesn’t really happen, you’re usually going to want to convince those playing with you that you have a better hand than you do. If I have two queens and you have a full house, that beats me. But I want you to think I have something more than you do so you’ll fold. Or basically, give in.”“I see.”“Which is what I did with Balok. I wanted him to think we had a better weapon than he did, so he would fold. But he could just have easily called my bluff. Which is why in poker, you call.”“So it is a means of lying.”“Pretty much. Unless you really do have a royal flush, then you aren’t lying.”Spock inclined his head. “I am certain that I would have no trouble knowing that you were lying.”Jim laughed. “Yeah? Why do you think that, Mister Spock?”“I know when you lie, I can tell. So I cannot be fooled by your bluff. We have known each other long enough for me to read you quite well, Captain.”“That’s it! You’re putting your money where your mouth is.”Sometime later…“You won.”Jim grinned. “Yep. Four queens.”“But…”“You only have a full house, Spock.”“Yes, I know that your hand beats mine. It is simply that your behavior during the match—”“Game, Spock.”“As well as your body language indicated that you had a much lower hand than you were pretending to have and yet…”“Yep. So you don’t know me as well as you thought, Spock. Not my lies anyway.” Jim leaned back. “I think you should remove your pants.”Spock’s cheeks greened. “Captain.”He burst out laughing. “I’m totally kidding. I know we weren’t playing strip poker, babe.”Spock stared at him. “Babe?”“I didn’t say babe,” Jim said quickly. “I said Spock.”“No. I heard babe.”“Don’t be ridiculous, Mister Spock.” Jim stood. “Will you look at the time? I’m going to have to cut this short. I have about three hundred reports to do.”Spock stood too. “Three hundred, Captain?”“Three hundred and two. I forgot a couple.” Jim ushered Spock to his door. “As amusing as this was, next week, back to chess?”“As you wish, Captain.”Jim smiled, patted Spock’s arm. “Goodnight, Spock.”“Goodnight…babe.”The door of his quarters opened and Spock disappeared through it.Jim stared after him. Shook his head. Too much wine going to his head. He laughed and turned away.
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“How many days have you slept alone?”Jim scowled at his friend. “This is the third day…night.”Bones sighed. “You gonna apologize?”“I didn’t do anything.”“Course not.” Bones took a sip of his beer. “Still going to?”“No!” Jim frowned. “I…don’t know where he is. Or-or anything.”“What? He hasn’t been in touch for three days? That doesn’t seem like him.”He shrugged. “Had a bad fight.”Bones finished his beer and stood. “You contact —”“No.”“Want me to stay?” Bones asked, gently. “Or you want to come with me?”“Nah.” Jim forced a smile. “Gonna do some studying and go to bed. See you tomorrow?”When Bones left, Jim went for another bottle of beer, and then another. By the time he had stumbled to bed he hadn’t done any studying or even changed his clothes.He woke in the middle of the night to a thud. He sat up, heart pounding. Was someone breaking in to the apartment? Shit. Jim tried to scramble out of bed, but tripped on the tangle of blankets and sheets and fell flat on his face.“Fuck! Ouch. Damn. That hurt.” He lifted himself up to his elbows and saw Spock standing in the doorway of the bedroom. “Are you breaking in?”Spock arched a brow. “I live here.”“What was that noise then?”“I accidentally kicked the book bag you left by the door.”“Oh.” Jim bit his lip and sunk back down to the floor in defeat. “Come to move your stuff out, huh?”Spock sighed which had Jim lifting up to look at him again.“Negative. But if you will recall the fight started because you left your book bag, grocery purchases, laundry, and—”“Yeah, okay,” Jim mumbled. “I know. I’m a lazy slob.”Spock stepped into the room and reached down to pull Jim to his feet. “You were drinking.”“Bones was over and…yeah. I was.” Jim leaned against Spock. “Are you really back?”“Are you apologizing?”Jim waited a beat. “Yeah. Are you?”“Affirmative.”Jim drew back to look at Spock. Or at least as much as he could with Spock holding him pretty tight. “You are?”Spock nodded. “Will you take me back?”“I hate when we fight.”“Me too.” Spock wrinkled his nose. “Let’s get you cleaned up. When did you last shower?”“Uh…I don’t know?”“Come. I will take care of you.”Jim smiled and kissed Spock’s cheek. “You always do.”“And I always will.”
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Jim came into their quarters to see Spock standing near their bed dressed in the flowing robes he generally preferred when not on duty.Jim narrowed his eyes. “What are you up to?”“I am obviously up to nothing, Captain.” Spock tried his best innocent Vulcan look.Jim snorted. “Uh-huh.”“What would you like to eat?”He shook his head and pulled his gold crisscrossed shirt over his head. “Shower first.” He unhooked the sash that held his dagger and phaser from around his waist. “I’m dead tired and sore all over.”He sat on the chair next to his desk to remove his boots all the while the Vulcan continued to watch him, a neutral expression on his face.Jim sighed.“Do you require a massage?”“Later for that too.”“Or…something else, perhaps?”He snorted again. “Later.” Jim stood and unzipped his pants, shimmying out of them, turning his ass toward Spock to give him a show. When he turned back around he saw Spock’s hands flexing.“Later.”“If you insist on going commando—”“Did I give you permission to speak?”“No, Captain.”Jim chuckled. “You’re so easy.”Spock arched a brow. “I am not the one is easy.”He smirked. “You complaining?”“About the ease with which you give yourself to me? Hardly.”Spock took a step forward.Jim held up his hand. “Later. And do behave or it’ll be someone else I give myself to easily.”Spock growled.Jim just laughed and went into the bathroom for his shower. He turned it to water and stayed under the hot stream for long enough to jerk himself off twice. Damn Vulcan deserved it to take him forever to come later.When he came back into their quarters in only his bathroom, Spock jumped.“Adun, you-you—”“What is it this time? Spock. I knew you were up to something.”Spock withdrew a big ball of fluff from within his robes. It snapped its teeth at Jim.“A tribble?”“It is very soft,” Spock said defensively. “And it purrs because it likes me.”Jim did that himself so he could hardly protest. “Look at those teeth.”“He is tame, my love.”“Sure, sure. A tame tribble. You and your pets, Spock. The last one ate all my chips and bit me.”Spock nodded. “And he was eliminated for it. Clearly that type of creature does not do well in captivity.”“And tribbles do?”“Yes, Adun. He will not bite you. I promise.” Spock set the tribble down on the bed. “What do you wish to eat, my worshipped one?”“You must be horny, you’re laying it on pretty thick. A turkey leg.”Spock nodded and went to the synthesizer.Jim eyed the tribble dispassionately. “What are you naming it?”“I believe the tribble is female.”He rolled his eyes. Spock handed him the big roasted turkey leg. He took a bite. “Fine. What are you naming her?”“Portia.”“Oh, for pity’s sake.” Jim went over to his chair and sat, hiking his leg up onto the desk so that his robe fell open, exposing his already hardening cock to Spock’s gaze. “She’s not going to watch, is she?”“Of course not.” Spock began to rub the bulge in his crotch.“No? Because she’s on the bed, chomping those evil teeth of hers staring at me and my leg. The turkey one that is.”“I will cover her with the sheet.”Spock’s gaze grew hotter as he approached where Jim sat. His hand slid up Jim’s leg.The tribble chortled.“Spock.”The Vulcan sighed, turned and scooped up his pet. He walked over to the laundry chute, opened it up, and tossed her in. “Satisfied, Captain?”He took another bite of turkey leg and smiled. “Not yet. But I’d better be.”
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Spock packed up all his belongings for the day, shoving them into the large business briefcase bag he carried with him daily from home to the Academy. It had been a long, tedious day, full of uninspiring students who barely paid attention.Perhaps teaching again had not been the wisest decision. He had no patience for it and the sniveling giggling students he had to deal with.He made it out of the building and looked up at the darkening sky. A storm was coming. He hoped he made it home before it drenched him.For a moment he felt eager to get home, eager to end this day, and find the comfort of the apartment, a fire in the hearth, a steaming pot of tea and—His steps faltered.There was no one to go home to. No one who waited there to greet him with welcoming arms. The apartment would be empty, quiet and cold. No one would start the fire in the fireplace unless it was him.No longer eager to reach his apartment, Spock stopped at a vegetarian restaurant and had a small meal and a pot of tea.The rain had started by the time he resumed his way home and becoming miserably wet seemed appropriate.As he approached his apartment door, his steps faltered again. There was a flutter in his side just before a warm buzz in his brain.Spock gasped and quickly put his hand up to the door sensor.The door popped open and he was immediately hit with the scent of Pasta Primavera. A lump rose to his throat as he stumbled forward.“J-Jim?”Jim turned from his position in the kitchen next to the stove. He smiled bright and beautiful, his blue eyes sparkling.“Oh, hey. There you are!”“I…I…”The bright smile slipped from Jim’s face. “Spock?”He felt his eyes fill with tears. “I-I did not know and I have-I stopped at Laru’s for a meal and I-I have ruined—”“What?” Jim turned off the fire on the stove. “No. Honey, no. It’ll keep. Baby.”Jim came to him and embraced him, and Spock clung to him, like he was life. He supposed, for him, Jim always would be. “You were not supposed to return for six months.”“I know. But, well, it was a surprise.” He cradled Spock’s face in his hands and kissed him.Spock let out a sob and returned the kiss. “I am sorry I ruined it.”“You didn’t, all right? Nothing is ruined.” He wiped Spock’s tears, Spock’s shame. “Hey, what’s going on?”“I have missed you…terribly.”Jim’s smile was sweet and gentle. “It’s going to take a while, Spock. To get your Vulcan side back. The human side is just out more right now. They said it might take up to a year.”Spock nodded, holding Jim tight. “I do not like it.”His husband laughed, but it was a warm and beautiful laugh. “I know, baby. I’m pretty okay with you as you normally are too.”Spock looked at him doubtfully. “You will not be unhappy when my logical side takes over once more?”“Are you kidding? I fell in love with Vulcan you.”Spock frowned. “Then you do not love the human side of me?”“The human side, the Vulcan side, Spock…I love my Spock.”Spock pulled him close. “I would die for you.”“Nobody’s dying, so cut that out.”“How is it you are here? The Enterprise—”“Is docked. There’s been some damage and she needs repairs. Long story. Which can definitely wait for later.” Jim took hold of Spock’s hands and squeezed them in his. “You’re cold and wet. I’ll start a fire, we’ll lie before it, and we can make love all night long.”“You are truly here?” Spock swallowed. “This is not some illusion I have created?”Jim looked into his eyes, his blue eyes bright as the sun. He took Spock’s hand and placed it over his beating heart. “Does that feel like an illusion?”“No. But…I have fantasized us being together for so long that I…it is hard to trust this. Any of it.”“It’s real, babe. I am.” Jim went to pull away and Spock clutched at him. “Spock—”Spock shook his head. “If you disappear again, I’ll die.”“I won’t, Spock. I’m here. With you. At least until the repairs are done. Longer if you want me to take a leave to stay with you until you’re better. Whatever you want, honey.”Spock bowed his head. “I am ashamed. If my father could see me…even my mother would find me pathetic.”“No. No. Your father knows. About all of it. And your mother? She would always be proud of you. You showed me her, remember?”“Yes,” Spock whispered. “Just the same, I will go with you to start the fireplace.”“Okay.”He gripped Jim’s hand as tight as he could and though it prevented Jim from being quite as efficient as usual starting a fire in the apartment’s fireplace, Spock cared not.And when they lay before it, Spock kept his gaze glued to his husband, and determined he would not fall asleep. If he did, he might wake up to find Jim gone. Again.
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Jim wasn’t sure really, whether he should even mention it. In fact he was pretty sure he shouldn’t. He was wiped out, tired and sore, dejected, maybe, from getting his ass kicked, from losing two good crewmembers down on the surface of the planet. And they had families and lives separate from service to Starfleet, and one of the tasks Jim would have would be to write those families. He never knew what to say.Spock looked wrecked too.They’d been checked out by Bones, both of them, and they were fine, also, both of them. A few minor bruises and sore muscles. They’d refused further treatment and Bones hadn’t even yelled at them for it. Proof that his friend was feeling pretty crappy about everything too.And why wouldn’t he? One of those dead was a medic from his own department. Jim saw the wateriness in Bones’ eyes before he tried to hide it.So Jim stumbled a little as he stopped outside the door of Spock’s quarters, which came up first. Spock stopped too, because, of course, they had reached his rooms.Jim turned to face his first officer, the words torn between being stuck in his throat and on the tip of his tongue.“Spock, I…”“Captain?”“I dreamed of us last night,” he blurted out, before he could lose his nerve.And he was greeted with that annoying head tilt and that blank expression that had made him want to rip those bangs off his forehead more than once.“Doing what?”
Yeah, Kirk, doing what?
And just what was he going to say? Kissing and tearing each other’s clothes off? Breathing for each other?“Nothing, Spock,” Jim replied.“I do not understand.”He forced a smile, tired and maybe sad, but a smile. “Never mind. It was just a dream. It’s nothing.”Spock turned toward the door, stopped, turned back and looked at him. “Captain…”“Yeah?”“You did everything you could. No one could have done more. And the crew—”“Yeah.” Jim nodded.Spock returned the nod. “Goodnight, Jim.”“Goodnight.”“I hope you sleep well.” Spock turned then and went into his quarters and Jim continued onto his, alone.He entered his dark, empty quarters without any enthusiasm.“Lights fifty percent.”They came on instantly and even at fifty it seemed far too bright for his tired eyes.“Dim lights to twenty-five percent.”He stood in the middle of his quarters for a while, probably no more than minutes though, before finally deciding he could stand with a shower. His clothes were soiled with…with…The door chimed and before he even thought about answering it, the door opened, and Spock stepped inside. He still wore his own soiled and messy uniform, and his eyes looked wider in his paler face than usual.Jim stared at him, recognizing that his eyes were pooled with tears, but unable to do much about them.“I promised his mother.”“Captain?”He blinked, dislodging a few tears with his lashes, feeling them wet his cheeks. “Ensign Styles. We…she was there, you know, when we picked him up when the Enterprise was ready to go out again. She told me to take care of him, make sure he returned safe.” Jim lowered his gaze to the floor. “I didn’t do that.”“Jim.”Spock was there in a second, less than, maybe, and he had his hands on Jim’s arms, on his forearms, holding him in place, but not tight, with complete and utter gentleness. He raised his gaze to Spock’s and what he saw there mirrored his own thoughts and feelings, somehow.“Styles was not your fault and both he and his mother understood Starfleet service. There was nothing you could have done to save him from what occurred except perhaps leave him off the landing party and he desperately wanted to be on it.”“I know, but I—”Spock simply shook his head. His thumb came up to brush a tear off Jim’s cheek. “What did you dream of?”“About us?”“Yes.”“It was stupid, really. And the only reason it really stands out was because it wasn’t a bad dream. A nightmare, you know? Which is what I have all the time. Not all the time, but—”“Jim.” Spock shook him, but again, with extreme gentleness.“It was you and me, just dancing, at a cotillion. Do you know what those are?”Spock nodded.“All dressed in old-fashioned clothes like you’d wear to one, I guess, and you were leading. I think I tried to, but you took over, whatever.” Jim smiled a little. “Then you moved us off the dance floor to the balcony outside and then we—”“We?” Spock prompted.Jim briefly closed his eyes, squeezing out a few more teardrops. He smiled again and opened his eyes. He put his hand up to Spock’s face. “We kissed. And kissed. It was…the best kisses of my life and it was all a damn dream, Spock. Then we started to remove our clothes, right there on the balcony, and then-then I woke up. And we went on the mission.”“I see.”Jim pushed away then, out of his hold, putting distance between them. “And now? I’m just dog-tired. Wiped out emotionally.” He shook his head, then frowned. “Was there something you wanted?”Spock nodded. “Yes.”“What?”“You. To tell you that…I’m here for you. That I made a mistake walking away out in the corridor. But I won’t walk away like that. Not again.”Jim swallowed and took a step closer. “I really need a hug.”And he was even a little surprised when Spock stepped closer, wrapping an arm around his waist and pulling Jim against him. It was kind of too snug and even kind of awkward. But it was the best damn hug he had ever felt. He closed his eyes and leaned into Spock.“Thanks.”“You are welcome, Jim.”
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“It’s such a gorgeous day,” Jim commented as they stepped out of the ice cream shop and headed toward the water’s edge. He smiled at his companion. “Okay, you taste first.Spock’s eyebrow shot up. “Isn’t sharing an ice cream cone rather unsanitary?”“Says the guy whose tongue was in my—”“Jim.”Jim rolled his eyes. “The point of us each choosing a scoop flavor was to share it. That’s what couples do, Spock.”Spock looked like he either disputed them being a couple or that they should share it. Jim decided it had to be the sharing part.He thrust it at Spock. “Hurry up or it’s going to melt.”Dutifully, Spock leaned in and tried a bite of the flavor Jim had chosen, strawberry cheesecake. It had real chunks of cheesecake.Spock’s eyes lit up with pleasure. “That is…delicious.”Jim grinned. “Told you. Now try the flavor you chose.”Spock had chosen a flavor called peach melba. Jim watched his tongue dart out as he took a bite. It made his grin widen.“Well?”Spock’s lips curved. “Good. Really good. You need to try, ashaya.”Spock had started calling him that about a week or so ago. Jim had gone up to Uhura after class one day to find out what it meant. She looked like she wanted to pop a vein, but she’d told him it meant beloved or loved.Jim tried the peach melba first as he’d had the strawberry cheesecake one before. “Oh, God. That’s amazing. Mm.”Spock’s eyes widened slightly. “This sort of behavior would be quite unacceptable on Vulcan.”Jim smiled as he swiped his tongue across the other flavor. “Yeah?”“Far too much intimacy in public.”He chuckled. “I like the way you say that word.”“Which?”“Intimacy. Like it’s dirty or something.”“The way your mouth and tongue move while eating the ice cream is rather dirty,” Spock commented as he leaned in to have more himself.“Okay, so no ice cream eating if I go to Vulcan.”“I very much desire for you to go,” Spock murmured. “My parents will be eager to meet you.”“Have you told them about me? About us?” Ice cream had melted down to drip down over Spock’s hand holding onto the ice cream cone. Gaze focused on Spock’s face, Jim licked it off his long fingers.“I…that…”“You liked that?”Spock nodded. Swallowed.“Just trying to keep the sticky ice cream off you, babe.”Spock glanced away. “I have…mentioned that I was seeing someone. A-a Human.”“And your dad blew a gasket?”Spock looked back at Jim. “My mother is Human.”“I know. But still.” He shrugged.“They did not voice such an objection,” Spock assured Jim. “My father has a fondness for Humans. To a certain extent. They did ask that if it became serious to let them know.”“And…has it?” Jim stepped closer though really there wasn’t much space separating them anyway.“Indubitably.”“I love it when you use words like that.” Jim looked down at the ice cream cone, noting that all that was left was the sugar cone. “Want that?”“No,” Spock replied without looking away from Jim’s eyes. “In fact, alas, I must depart. I have a class to teach in…”“Ten minutes,” Jim replied, smirking.“Yes. I am going to be late.”“I’m a terrible influence I know.” Jim kissed the corner of Spock’s mouth, then stepped back. He admired Spock in his black instructor clothes. And that he hadn’t managed to spill anything. Jim couldn’t say that as he had a big drip across the sweatshirt he wore. “I’ll see you tonight, Professor.”“You most definitely will, Cadet.”Jim watched Spock hurry along the street toward campus as he chomped down on the sugar cone. He was sticky with melted ice cream and would need a shower. But yeah, a gorgeous day.
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The minute Jim stepped into the medbay, Bones seemed to be ready for him. He came forward immediately, took one look at Jim’s exposed shoulder, his shirt had ripped during the battle on the planet, and jammed a hypospray into it. The relief from the burning pain in his shoulder was enough that Jim didn’t even bother protesting Bones’ manhandling.“Bones?”“He’s stable. Bed four. You can go see him.”He started to turn in that direction.“Jim.”He looked over his shoulder.“Uhura’s with him.”Jim stopped in his tracks. Turned back toward Bones. Nodded. “I’ll see him later then. Don’t want to interrupt anything.”Bones smiled, and Jim detected the sympathy behind it. “Sure. Anyway, he’ll make a full recovery, so no need to be concerned.”“Great. Thanks, Bones. That’s good news.” Jim smiled faintly and shook his head. “This was not the way I expected the day to go when I woke up.”“None of us did.”He turned to leave the medbay.“Jim. Maybe you should tell him.”“Nah.” He shrugged. “They’ll probably get back together.”“Don’t think so.”“Injuries do that. Look what happened after Altamid. See you later.”The doors swooshed open and Jim headed down the corridor to the turbolift.“Captain! Captain, wait.”He stopped the turbolift door from closing as Uhura ran up to him. Her pony tail was still swinging.“I couldn’t help but overhear what was being said between you and Leonard. He’s right. You should tell Spock.”“What?” He started to shake his head.“Trust me. He wants to know.” She pushed him out of the turbolift and let it close in his face.Jim headed back to the medbay and to bed 4.Spock’s eyes opened at his approach. He looked even paler than normal.“Captain,” he said softly. “The doctor said you had left.”Jim smiled and reached for Spock’s hand, which closed around his. “I’m not going anywhere.”
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“Okay, seriously. What the hell is Christmas in July and why should I care about it?”Jim Kirk eyed his grumpy-assed friend, Leonard McCoy. They were standing in the entry-way of Starfleet Academy’s cafeteria. The entire eating area had been turned into a themed decorated place, Christmas in July, as it announced on banners everywhere.Jim shrugged. “It’s a thing, I guess.”Bones looked at him, his face pinched. “It’s not a thing.”“It is. They have sales and people watch romantic Christmas movies and—”“Spare me. You didn’t have anything to do with all this, did you?”“No, of course not.”“Surprised they allowed it. There’s Janice. I’m going over there. You coming?”Jim’s gaze swept over the cafeteria and landed exactly on whom he had been seeking. “No.”Bones followed his gaze. “You don’t stand a chance, Romeo.”He sauntered off and Jim drummed up the courage to go past the hanging holly, snowflakes, and tinsel hanging from everywhere.There in the very far corner, as far away from the decorations as could be, sat the object of Jim’s fascination.Jim sat across from him. “Good morning.”Very slowly, the professor’s gaze rose. “Cadet.”Jim tried to play it cool. “After last night, I thought we’d be on a first name basis.”“Do keep your voice down.”“There’s no one near us. You couldn’t have picked a more isolated spot.”The Vulcan professor, Spock, nodded. “I was attempting to keep myself as far away from the festivities as possible.”“Don’t like Christmas?”“I have no particular feelings regarding Christmas.”“In July perhaps?”“It is not logical. Earlier they were passing out peppermint mochas.”Jim smiled. “Did you try one?”“I did not,” Spock said stiffly. “They were hot.”“Er yeah. Maybe later I can secure some peppermint ice cream or something.” Jim moistened his lips. “Want to come over and watch romantic Christmas movies with me? There’s one on called A Rocky Mountain Christmas.”“If I spend the evening with you, we will engage in intimacy.”His smile widened. “That’s the idea.”“Cadet.” Spock paused. “I am uncertain we should continue our assignations.”“But you want to.”He nodded. “Indeed.”“There’s no reason to stop. I’m not your student, and really you’re a commander who programs the complicated tests we take, you’re not an ordinary professor.” He stroked his fingers across Spock’s. “There’s nothing ordinary about you.”Dark eyes met his. “Nor you.”Jim turned Spock’s palm over and traced the lines there. He kept his gaze on Spock. “Coming over?”“I will be there.” Spock switched his gaze back to the decorated cafeteria. “I believe you have a class.”Jim chuckled. “I do.”“Go out the south door. You will avoid Cadet Rimley who is waiting by the North door with mistletoe for you.”Jim squeezed Spock’s hand before releasing it. “Will do. See you tonight.”“Indeed.”Jim was aware of Spock’s gaze on him as he brushed past hanging ornaments and packages, and when he made it to the south exit, he turned back to see Rimley looking pissed. Jim laughed again and went to class.A merry Christmas in July indeed.
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“What are you doing, Captain?”Jim jumped what surely was ten feet in the air. “Spock! Shit! You scared the crap out of me.”Spock frowned at Jim, who was sitting tucked away way in the corner on a couch in the mostly empty recreation room. “Why would you be frightened?”“Well. Not scared. I know you aren’t going to strangle me or anything. Not this time.” He winked and was pleased when Spock’s cheeks turned green. He then looked guiltily down at his PADD. “Um. I-I was reading.”“Reports? If you are behind, I can assist you.”“No. No. Not reports. Something…something else.”There went the head tilt. “You read ‘real books’ as you call them when you read for pleasure. Is there some troublesome matter at home that you received a message?”“No.” Jim put the PADD face down on the table, feeling very embarrassed and definitely flustered and frankly a bit turned on. “Stuff online.”“Online.”“There’s this site where, um, people write things.” Jim rubbed the back of his neck. “There’s-there’s a section about us.”“The Enterprise?”He traced his lips with his tongue. “No. Us. You and me.”Spock stared. Suddenly he reached for Jim’s PADD before Jim could stop him. Spock glanced at the screen. Then at Jim, then back at the screen.“I am not even certain that is possible.”“Well.”Spock shook his head. “And I certainly do not have…” He stopped and looked reproachfully at Jim. “Which, of course, you know.”Jim shrugged guiltily. “I know. But, well, it, they, it’s kind of fascinating.”“Fascinating.”“And hot.”“But, Jim, they have invented parts of me that I simply do not—”“I know.” Jim grinned. “Believe me I know.”Spock gave him another look. “They do seem to have your character down correctly.”Jim narrowed his eyes. “How so?”“The begging, the whimpering, and the—”Jim snatched his PADD back. “Okay. Enough of that. It’s time to quit and go to bed.”Spock took the PADD back, swiped his finger over the screen, and then handed it back to Jim, who noticed the page had disappeared, and it was back to his Starfleet homepage. “That is enough of that.”“Spoilsport.”“If you want to know about the ways we ‘get it on’, you will only have to wait ten minutes until we reach our quarters.”Jim grinned. “I know.” They fell into step beside each other. “I don’t beg.”Spock arched a brow.“Much.”
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It felt good to be waiting to meet with Jim, Leonard thought, as he waited in his seat at the restaurant he’d arranged to meet Jim in while Leonard was briefly in San Francisco.He hadn’t seen Jim since the last time he’d been there, a year ago, when Leonard had left Starfleet to return to Georgia to set up private practice and finally stay grounded on Earth, where he could attempt to have a relationship with his daughter.But he’d come to San Francisco to pick up some medical equipment he needed in person, and honestly, it had made for the perfect excuse to catch up with Jim.Just then the door to the restaurant flew open and Jim breezed in, literally, as it was quite windy outside, and his friend came in with a gust.Jim was laughing, his face lit up by a smile, which was great to see, honestly.Leonard stood and motioned him over, pulling Jim into a tight hug. “God, it’s great to see you.”“And you.”“Sit.” Leonard gestured. “Wow, you look—”“Fat? Ugly?” Jim joked.“Gorgeous, actually.”And it was true. Jim looked well rested, tanned, his blue eyes sparkling. He wore a burgundy long-sleeved T-shirt that seemed molded to him, and his slacks, black dress ones, looked pressed and expensive.Jim laughed again, and Leonard was struck how he seemed…happy. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were flirting with me.”“You do know better,” Leonard said, dryly. “I took the liberty of ordering us a bottle of wine. Should be here any time.”“Fantastic. And speaking of, you look pretty good yourself. Leaving Starfleet agrees with you.”“Are the rumors true?”“True?”At the moment the wine sommelier arrived with their bottle and for the next five minutes they were occupied with tasting and then pouring glasses for each of them.“Back to rumors,” Leonard said. “I’ve heard through sources that they’re finally going to make you a full admiral, Commodore.”“Oh that.”He snorted. “You say that like it’s nothing. You’re a big deal, Jim.”“If you say so. And yeah, I guess they are true. I’m torn. Part of me wishes I could go up again, command of a ship—”“Ten years wasn’t enough?”“Oh, hardly. Anyway, I guess they want old men like me to be in charge of the brash young ones.”“Which you were at one time.”Jim sipped his wine. “Mm. Great choice.”“Glad you approve. Still in that apartment?”“Sure am.”“Big place for just you.” Leonard shook his head.“It’s not that big and who says it’s just me?”Leonard lowered his glass to the table. “Damn! You’re with someone?”Jim blushed. “Well.”“No wonder you look so damn happy!” Leonard grinned and slapped the table. “That is good news. Great news in fact. I never thought you’d settle down, Jimmy boy. When did this happen?”“Well.”“Is that all you can say? Within the last year, I’d guess.”Jim shifted. “Little longer.”Leonard frowned. “You were with her when I saw you last year?”Jim grimaced.“Longer?”Jim nodded.“But…wait. You were together on the Enterprise?”“Yeah.”“How in the world were you with someone on the Enterprise and I didn’t know?”Jim was bright red. “We kept it a secret, Bones. For, um, for a while, actually.”“How long?” Leonard asked, dumbfounded.“Last three years of the mission.”“Plus this whole last year?”Jim nodded.Leonard felt hurt. He supposed he didn’t have a right, but…he did. “Why wouldn’t you tell me? Was she an ensign?”“No. God. No. Nothing like that. For a long time, we just, it was so weird for us, everything, and I wasn’t even sure if I could get it right, Bones. And then we did and it was so private and intimate between us that for a long time neither of us wanted to spoil it.”“Okay. Okay. Maybe. I get that. But what about the last year?”Jim winced. “Well. Um. Actually, Bones, who I’m with, well, I included them for dinner. And uh—”The door opened to the restaurant and Leonard turned around to look. Standing there, looking windswept, was Spock.For a moment, Leonard’s brain didn’t catch up, and he wondered what Spock was doing there, and what a coincidence that he would be at the same restaurant he and Jim met at, but then Spock looked in their direction and walked toward them.And it all made a strange sort of sense that he didn’t even think about before, but now, it was all he could think of. Yes. Of course. Spock. “Bones,” Jim said with a smile as he took Spock’s hand. “Spock is my husband.”
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Spock did not like to impose on his captain, normally. If Jim had merely invited him to his quarters and to his bed, as was usual, Spock would have gone very willingly. Eagerly, in fact, for he had no desire to spend the night alone in his cold bed without his heater beside him.And tonight of all nights…The mission had gone so terribly wrong. It was a miracle both he and Jim were physically unscathed. But they were both exhausted and emotionally, as Jim would say, fried.And yet…there had been no invitation from Jim. He’d just said goodnight and gone to his quarters.Spock stared at him empty cold bed and made a decision he hoped he did not regret.He picked up his sleeping robe and walked out of his quarters and went next door to Jim’s. On the prior Enterprise their bathroom had been shared, but that was an old design, and when they were forced to rebuild the ship after Altamid, they’d all gotten their own bathrooms. Jim’s and Spock’s being the largest floor plan.“Enter.”Spock stepped inside as the door slid open, then remained by it, as he held his robe staring at his captain, who already lay in bed. Jim was dressed in a tight fitting T’shirt, molded to his muscles, and Spock suspected, his usual cotton pajama bottoms with the stars dotted on them.“I…”“Yeah?” Jim was leaning up against the pillows that propped him up. He had a book in his hand.And now Spock felt foolish. It was obvious Jim had not wanted him there. Why hadn’t he gotten that?Jim’s gaze went to the robe clutched in his hands as Spock remained silent. “Spock, what is it? Are you all right?”“I…wanted to…may I stay with you tonight?” He felt that his face was flushed and knew that he must be a very dark shade of green. But this was not his element. Nyota had never made it this hard. Everything was difficult with Jim. Watching Jim breathe was.Without a word, Jim picked up the corner of the blanket and sheet, holding it aloft.Spock swallowed. “I understand if you do not—”“Just…get in.”“If you would rather—”“Spock.” Up until that moment Jim had sounded almost harsh, but just then his tone and his voice had softened considerably. “Put on your robe and get into bed. It’s okay.”Spock nodded, undressed and redressed quickly, and then slid into bed next to his captain, who had now put aside his book to watch Spock’s every move.“If I have overstepped—”Jim held out his fingers toward Spock who was suddenly filled with such relief, he was shaking, as he touched his fingers to Jim’s.“You can’t, okay? You can’t overstep. And I’m glad you’re here.” His mouth thinned. “What a craptastic day. Yeah?”“Beyond imagining.”‘I’m sorry. I should have…I really wasn’t thinking. I just wanted to get in bed and have the day all over.”“And me as well. But I needed…”Jim smiled then, soft and sweet. “I know. It’s all right. I don’t mind. Lie down and come here.”They both lay flat on the bed and then Spock scooted closer, wrapping himself around his captain. He closed his eyes and sighed.“Computer,” Jim called. “Lights off.”
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“Bones hates pumpkin spice.”Spock looked up from his PADD to eye his captain who had just flopped down across from Spock at the table in the mess room. “While unfortunate considering your obsessive love for it, I hardly think it warrants the alarm in your tone, Captain.”“Well.” Jim sighed and leaned his chin on his hand. “I’ve known him for, I don’t know, years and years, and you think you know a guy and…then wham. They declare such a blasphemy.”“You could look at it as an indication that leaves more pumpkin spice for you.”His captain smiled. “That’s true.”“And also an indication that the doctor is not entirely right in the head.” Spock paused. “Although I have long suspected that.”Jim’s smile widened. “Damn, but you do know how to make me feel better.”“As first officer, it is my duty to do so.”“Mm. I guess so.” Jim lifted a cup to his lips and Spock gave a sniff.“Speaking of, is that…”“Pumpkin spice tea. Yes. Uhura got it for me on Starbase 9. She said she saw it in the store and knew because I was a pumpkin spice nut, I would appreciate it. She was right.”Spock considered. “It does smell good. But was it a recent gift, Captain?”“Uh.”“I wondered as this is the first time in my presence that you have had a cup and I could not imagine you were, perhaps, holding back from me that you had acquired it.”“Uh.”“As I recall Nyota returned from Starbase 9 a month ago.”“Well.”“The same as the rest of us. And I believe she also found pumpkin spice coffee for you at that time as well.”Jim bit his lip. “How’d you know that?”“She was excited to tell me about her findings. This may come as a surprise to you, Jim, but many of the crew think about your preferences when they are at places like the store on Starbase 9. They like to please you.”“That’s so sweet,” Jim said with a wide smile.“But you were, in fact, holding back the tea. And I don’t believe Nyota mentioned that purchase to me. Did you convince her not to tell me?”“Uh.”Spock shook his head.“I’ll make you some tonight over chess,” Jim said in a rush. “And, you know…” Jim paused to let his tongue trace over his lips in a deliberate flirtation Spock was well aware of. “Before bed.”Spock inclined his head. “Very well. And the pumpkin truffles, too.”“Damn it!” Jim laughed, held his fingers out for Spock, who met them, and then went back to his PADD.
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“Do you believe in ghosts and the like?”“Oh, for God’s sake, Jim. I’m trying to study for a big exam here.”Jim nudged Bones’ leg as he sat before his terminal in their combined dorm. Bones didn’t just have a cup of black coffee next to him, but a carafe.Hand on one hip, Jim smirked. “I’m serious.”“You think asking me if I believe in spooks is serious?”“Uh-huh. I think I saw one.”“How much did you have to drink?”“Nothing! It was at the library. I was sitting at the table in the back by the philosophy section. All by myself.”Bones snorted. “And you’re surprised? It was philosophy. Boring.”“I know.” Jim rolled his eyes. “You’re a doctor not a philosopher.”“Yep. Go away. You’re bugging me.”“Anyway, as I was sitting there, he appeared…”“Of course it was a guy.”“Dark hair, pale skin, all dressed in black, and like a hooded cape on.”“And that makes him a spook?”“No. But I looked down at my PADD for like a second when I got a message from Sam and when I looked up the hooded figure was gone.”“Hooded figure? You watch too many movies. He just went to another part of the library, Jim.”“I would have thought so but I looked around everywhere and he was nowhere to be found.” Jim sat on the edge of Bone’s desk. “I think he was a ghost.”“Sure, sure.” Bones leaned back in his chair. “Did you tell the professor?”“No,” Jim said quickly. “He’d think I was crazy and illogical to boot.”“Gotta agree with him there. I’m actually surprised you aren’t with him. Or he’s not with you. I thought you two had been sewn together or something.”“Don’t be stupid. I asked if he wanted to be and he said no.”Bones rolled his eyes. “Didn’t I tell you to get lost?”“Yeah, yeah. He’s having dinner with his folks.”“Didn’t invite you?”“Not this time. It’s still pretty new, you know? And I think he’s waiting to see if he can stand me that long.”“Oh he can stand you. I know from all the times I’ve seen his tongue in your mouth.”Jim laughed and shoved him. “I’m going back to the library.”“In search of ghosts?”“Nah, philosophy. I still want to find a book I’m looking for. Haven’t found it yet, though it’s supposed to be there and no one has checked it out.”“Woooowooo, spooky,” Bones said, sarcastically.“Oh be quiet. See you later. And ease up on the caffeine dude. You’re shaking.”Jim headed back down the campus to the library. It was a quiet night without many people around. There was a slight crisp in the air, the kind that would make his boyfriend pull on a sweater but Jim didn’t mind it.It was a Friday night, so he knew hardly anyone would be around and though he’d mentioned his “ghost” to Bones, Jim hadn’t really believed it.He went right up to the Philosophy section to look for his book. He’d been looking for about ten minutes when he decided to go to the table he’d sat at before and leave his book bag there. He turned the corner of the aisle and saw…The hooded man. He was leaning over the table, placing something there.“Hey!”The man turned toward him and his hood fell slightly revealing pointed ears.Jim frowned, heart thundering. “Spock? Is that…”But no, the Vulcan looked older and…He disappeared in front of Jim’s eyes.“What the…”Jim shook his head rapidly. No way. He went over to the table and looked down at what the figure had placed on his table.It was the book he’d been looking for. He put his hand on it. Real.His communicator beeped and Jim jumped. He fished it out of his pocket, looked at who it was, and flipped it open.“Hi. You through? Yeah. Me too. I’m leaving the library. Meet you at your apartment. Bye.”He closed it. Put it away and stuffed the book into his bag.“Thanks,” he muttered and left the library.
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“Rumors are this place is haunted.”Spock glanced at Jim with what could only be considered derision. “I am surprised you would listen to rumors, Captain. Especially nonsensical ones.”Jim snorted. “Tell me how you really feel, Spock.”“I always endeavor to do so.”Jim sighed. Crossed his arms in front of him as he looked at the ruins of the ancient civilization. It was little more than abandoned decaying buildings and crumbling stone arches. It was kind of eerie but more than that it made Jim sad for what was lost. Whoever had lived here, had dreams and hopes and wishes for a future that never happened.“Did you want to go into the dwelling further, captain? I do not recommend it. It looks dangerous.”“I’m sure it’s fine. I’ll be careful. Report over to the chieftain of the village and I’ll meet you there shortly.”“You do not intend to go in there alone.”“It’s not haunted, remember? You said yourself.”“Indeed, but they are crumbling ruins, Captain.”“I’ll be careful.”Spock hesitated, but he finally nodded. “If you do not return to the village in fifteen minutes—“I will.”He waved Spock away and headed into the ruins. He knew his first officer watched his every moved, but Jim ignored it. He’d chalk it up to their new-found…er…well whatever it was they were…more than friends, less than lovers? Jim sure as hell didn’t know—but Spock had been weird about watching Jim’s every move even before all that. Jim used to think Spock was looking for a way to file a report against him, but he no longer thought that.Jim didn’t know all that much about this ancient, almost-forgotten civilization. The chieftain had told them that the ruins had been abandoned for hundreds of years, long before any of them were alive, and had long been the subject of stories about ghosts and hauntings.Spock had barely contained his skepticism as the chieftain spoke, but Jim figured that was mostly because the chieftain had a huge crush on Spock and had been openly flirting with Jim’s second in command since they’d arrived.The chieftain had suggested they go look at the ruins while he prepared the feast for them, but he’d wanted Spock to stay at the village and Jim to go alone. Jim had decided he’d just let Spock go back early. Especially since the Vulcan hadn’t wanted to go anyway.Jim ducked under a half collapsed arch, trying to imagine what the people from this planet would have been like hundreds of years ago. They had jewel eyes now and lilac skin, attractive. It was unknown what their ancient ancestors looked like. Perhaps the same.It had been an earthquake that had destroyed them, sudden and catastrophic. When they had rebuilt, it was on the other side of the planet, less prone to seismic activity, and this place was never rebuilt.Jim stepped through what must have been a doorway into a house or something.He heard a child’s laugh, merry and bright, and so real-sounding, Jim turned quickly. But there was nothing and no one there.“I’m getting punchy.” He shook his head and decided maybe he was better off going back to the village sooner rather than later.He took a step and fell through a hole.“Shit!”He didn’t know how far he fell but it seemed like a long distance and when he landed, his leg was twisted underneath him at a painful and clearly broken angle. He went to fish his communicator out of his pocket and discovered it was missing.All around him was nothing but darkness. Even looking up, he couldn’t even see the sky. And he suddenly felt like it was all a setup from the chieftain.He hoped he was wrong.****“Come on, Jim. Wake up.”A gentle hand on his face. Light as a feather.“Jim. Jim. Please. Wake up. Come on. You can do it. Come back to us. Come on, kid.”He was trying. He was. Couldn’t-couldn’t whoever it was tell? He should know the speaker. He should. But he couldn’t think of them. Couldn’t…So tired.“Jim. Please. Jim.”A different voice. But still familiar.Drifting. Let me rest.“No!”Jim woke with a gasp and he sat up straight into strong arms that held him. He blinked hard, and stared into Spock’s dark eyes.“Jim,” Spock said, it sounded almost like a whimper. He pulled Jim close.“Easy, Spock. Easy,” Bones said. “Let him breathe. Let him catch his breath.”Spock pulled back, but only a little.Jim put his hand up to Spock’s face. Spock was shaking. “Medbay?”“Yes. We…”“You almost died on us again, Jim.”Jim looked at Bones. “The ruins?”“You fell down some giant crater thing. Lost consciousness. It took us a long time to reach you and you’d lost a lot of blood.”He nodded. Looked back at Jim. “The chieftain?”“Chieftain?”“Of the village. He had the hots for you. I thought maybe he set me up to fall.”Spock shook his head. He covered Jim’s hand with his. “There was no chieftain, Jim. The planet was abandoned. The ruins were from an extinct civilization. It is unknown what happened to the people from there.”“But…they were lilac with jewel eyes and…”“No, Jim. There was no one on the planet. We had barely begun to explore the ruins when you fell.”He could barely believe it but his friends were looking at him like he was crazy, so he nodded. “Okay.”“You gave me and your husband here a heart attack.”Jim’s mouth hung open. “My-my what?”“Ashaya, perhaps you ought to lie down.”“You are unaware Spock is your husband?”“Since?”“For a year!” Bones exclaimed. “Spock is right. Lie down. I’d better check a few things.”Jim allowed Spock to ease him back down on the biobed and as Spock held his hand while Bones examined him, Jim heard the faint laughter of a child.
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“Captain, I have something to tell you.”Jim fired his phaser at the approaching Klingons. “Now? Come on, Spock. I’m a little busy.”Spock fired his phaser. “I am aware. But in case we are unable—”“Mr. Spock, I don’t have time for this.” The truth was Jim was pretty sure he knew what Spock wanted to say. And he appreciated it, really. He’d been waiting for this for a long ass time. But now—“A logical response, Captain, however—”“No. Really. Not now, Commander. Cover me.”He rolled away from his spot by the wall, firing his phaser frantically, even as he could hear Spock doing the same. He reached the unconscious Sulu and quickly assessed him.“Captain?”“Yeah he’s alive but in bad shape. We’ve gotta get out of here now.”“Acknowledged. In the event that either or both of us do not make it…”“Yeah, yeah. Got it. Get over here now.”Spock broke out into a run and slid in to where Jim waited with Sulu. Jim eyed him.“You’d be great at stealing home, by the way.”Spock frowned. “Captain?”Jim flipped open his communicator. “Kirk to Enterprise. Beam us up now.”A Klingon disruptor shot barely missed his head. Jim winced.“I must inform you, Captain, that I have developed…”They suddenly dissolved and appeared on the transporter. The three of them fortunately. Bones rushed toward them.“Romantic feelings for you. In fact, I love you.”Bones froze just a few feet away from Sulu. He stared at them, then shrugged. “I guess I owe Scotty some scotch.”Spock blushed furiously as he scrambled to stand.Jim grinned and stood up, leaning toward Spock and planting a big fat kiss on his lips. “I love you too.”
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The first indication that something unusual was wrong was a very loud and sudden sneeze.Jim turned so fast in his captain’s chair to gape at his first officer, he had to hold on not to fall out.Sulu and Chekov had also turned around to stare.Uhura, predictably, was up off her feet and rushing over to him. “Spock? Are you okay?”He gave every one of them a look of consternation. “I sneezed.”Jim nodded.“You never sneeze,” Uhura said. Also predictably, she added, “I shared a bed with you for years and I never once recall you sneezing.”Jim tapped his fingers on the arm of his chair and counted to ten. Spock, likewise predictably, glanced his way surreptitiously.Spock glanced back at Uhura. “It is nothing, Nyota.”Which made Jim turn his chair back around. Jealousy was ridiculous. Jim knew that. Spock wasn’t with Uhura anymore, he was with Jim. Sorta. Recently. Yeah. But, right.There were no more bridge sneezes, but after their shift, when they were standing near the replicators to get food, Spock sneezed again.This time Bones was with them and he narrowed his eyes.“I heard about that.”Spock, wiggling his nose, peered at Bones. “Heard about what?”“You sneezing.”“I had one sneeze.”“And this is the second,” Jim pointed out.“You’re sick.” Bones poked a finger at Spock’s chest.“I am not. Please do not touch me.”Jim rolled his eyes at Spock. “If I hear even one more sneeze out of you, mister, you’re reporting to the medbay.”“Captain, that is hardly…”Jim gave him a quelling look and Spock closed his mouth.Dinner passed without further incidents, but later, in Jim’s quarters, while Jim was bent over trying to set up the chess set, he heard a peculiar noise out of his Vulcan. Well, not his. Not yet. Or sorta. Maybe.Jim straightened and turned to stare at Spock with his captain look again. “That wasn’t you trying to suppress a sneeze, was it?”“Would I do that?”Not exactly a denial, which meant Spock was trying to say no, but without actually lying about it.“Maybe we should postpone this.”“Captain, I feel fine.”“Still. You should rest. It’s already late. You need sleep, Spock. We can play another day.” And he meant that about more than the stupid chess game. He didn’t even like chess. But Spock did and Jim was pretty okay at it even though he didn’t care for it.Spock hesitated. “I…very well.”“What?”“I did not really wish to retire to my quarters just yet.”“Oh. Well. Um. You want to-to sleep here? In-in my bed?”
Great work at sounding like a love struck teenaged boy, Jim.
“If agreeable.”Jim grinned. “It’s totally agreeable. And I’ll, um, try not to attack you. For now.”Spock nodded. “I appreciate that. My sleeping robe…”“You can borrow some jammies.”“And I like to have tea.”“I’ll make you some.”Spock’s nose twitched. He sneezed.Jim walked up to him, put his hand on Spock’s forehead. He sighed. “You have a fever, honey.”“Honey?” Spock blinked.“Yeah. Honey. You got an issue with that?”“I do not.”“I’d better call Bones.”“I do not wish to go to the medbay.”“He’ll make a house call. And then after, you can go to sleep in here. It’s not like no one knows.”Spock nodded. “Very well. I do not usually catch colds.”“But you are half human.”His Vulcan sighed. Totally his Vulcan. “Yes. And it rears itself up at the most inopportune times.”“Of course.” Jim patted his cheek affectionately and commed Bones. “Hey, can you come check out Spock? He’s sick.”“Be right there.”Jim smiled. “Now for those jammies and tea. You deserve some pampering, honey.”“Well.” Spock looked rather pleased. “If you insist.”
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Jim stopped at the nurse’s desk in the Starfleet hospital outside the area where he’d been told Jaylah had been taken.“Hi, James Kirk. Here to see Jaylah, Ensign.”She nodded. “She’s resting comfortably in room 424, Captain.”Jim went down the hall, shuffling the items in his hands as he did so, until he found the correct room. There was no door on the outside, as often was the case with hospital rooms. He craned his neck around the opening to see if she was awake or had other visitors. He saw no one and Jaylah sitting up.“James T,” she greeted him instantly as he approached her bed. She smiled. “You came.”“Of course I did.” He thrust the bouquet of flowers in her general direction, as well as the balloon declaring “Congratulations.”She tilted her head. “Over there, on the table, please.”Jim saw there was a vase already on the table filled with flowers as well as a big stuffed bear wearing a blue diaper. He shook his head and added his flowers over there and set his balloon next to her bed.“Well? Where is the little one?”“They take him for a walk. He’ll be back in a moment.”“Who did?”“Commander Spock and Uhura.”“Ah.” He nodded. “They beat me here. Last minute meetings are a pain. Bear come from them?”“Yes.”He sat on the edge of her bed, but other than a slightly reproachful look, Jaylah let him. “So, what’s next for you? With a baby…”They both looked toward the door at the commotion, in the form of his first and communication’s officers returning with the baby. Of course Uhura had the little blue wrapped bundle and was cooing nonsensically at him.“Some linguistic you are,” Jim joked.“Captain,” Spock exclaimed. “We did not expect you to be free for some hours.”Jim’s lips twitched. “I charmed my way out early.”Uhura rolled her eyes at him, but stopped to show him Jaylah’s little bundle of joy. “Beautiful, isn’t he?”“I’ll say. Give me that baby.” Jim scooped him up into his arms as Spock joined them by the bed.“Be careful, James T.”“I know how to handle babies,” Jim insisted.“When have you held one that young?” Uhura asked.Jim didn’t answer at first. He let the little boy grab his index finger. Then he said softly, “On Tarsus, when a woman there lost her life shortly after giving birth. I cared for the infant for a time.”There was a very subdued collective gasp, but Jim didn’t miss it.“Well, you’re just about the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. Let me give you to your beautiful mama.”He turned to Jaylah and laid the bundle in her arms.“Gorgeous. You’re very lucky.”“Yes.”Uhura cleared her throat. “What about you, Captain? Think you’ll have one of your own one day?”He shrugged. “Anything’s possible, Lieutenant. With surrogacy, it’s definitely possible someday.” He yawned. Then he covered his face in embarrassment. “I’m so sorry.”“You are exhausted,” Spock said, quietly. He looked to Uhura. “Nyota, I am taking him home to rest. Would you like to stay a little longer?”“Sure. I can get back to my place on my own.”Spock grabbed his arm.“I’ll be by tomorrow,” Jim called out as he was shuffled out of the room. “I could have stayed,” he grumbled, even as he sagged against Spock.“As you say, we will come tomorrow.” Spock paused. “Well?”Jim sighed. “Yeah, I got it. The promotion.”“So you are…”“Fucked.”“Jim—”“Admiral Kirk, yeah. Can we stop and get fries on the way home?”“Yes.”“And a burger.”“Yes.”“And cookies.” Jim smiled, leaned over and kissed Spock on the cheek. “Thanks, honey.”
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“And then I…”“Help! Help!” Chekov cried, rushing into the medbay.Jim turned around from talking to Bones to stare at Chekov in shock. “Ensign, what—?”“He iz crazy, Keptin. Help me.”“Who? What the hell?”“Mister Spock! He Is going to kill me.”Jim laughed. “Spock is not going to kill you.”Chekov grabbed for Bones. “Doktor. He is running after me, hide me.”“Now see here, Chekov, what is this all about?” Bones asked reasonably.“There is no time to explain!”“Ensign, explain yourself now. That’s an order.”Chekov straightened and looked over his shoulder at the door. “It was a little prank, sir.”Jim frowned. “A prank?”“Ya. April Fools. I tell to the Kommander that you and the Doktor are inwolved in an affair as a little joke.”“What?” Bones demanded. “Me and him? I may throw up.”“Bones,” Jim said sharply. “But that’s just what I was about to tell you before Chekov ran in here. I’m pretty sure Spock’s going into his time and is entirely irrational.”“What?”Chekov’s eyes were huge. “Yes! This is vhat I am telling you. He iz trying to kill—”The medbay doors exploded open and Spock stormed in, looking darkly menacing. He took a step toward Chekov, who squealed and dashed behind Jim and Bones.Jim held out his hands. “Now, Spock, it was…”But Spock charged toward them, not to Chekov, but to Bones. And his hands were outstretched toward McCoy’s neck.“Spock! No!” Jim exclaimed, trying to grab onto his husband and first officer. But Spock swatted him as though he was just a fly, sending him flying into the bulkhead. For a moment, Jim was dazed, and he heard Chekov squealing in terror.“Stop it, Spock! You’re not in your right mind,” Bones tried, just as Jim saw Spock’s hands wrap around Bones’ throat.“No! Kommander! Stop. You vill kill him!”“You think to steal him from me,” Spock roared.“Spock!” Jim scrambled to his feet and rushed at Spock. “Stop it.”Just then Bones fell limp to the ground. His mouth hung open and his eyes bulged wide. Jim knelt down beside him.“Bones! Bones! Damn it. Spock, you’ve killed him.”“Oh no!” Chekov cried. “It was…it was a joke. Just a little joke.”Spock suddenly straightened and stared blankly at Chekov. “Very little, Ensign.”Chekov blinked. “What?”Jim burst out laughing. “April Fool’s, Pavel.”“What?”Bones pulled his tongue back into his mouth and sat up, cackling. “That was too good! Lord, you shoulda seen your face, Chekov.”“A joke?” Chekov shook his head. “You vere in on it, Mister Spock?”“Obviously. And frankly with what you tried to pull, you deserved it,” Spock said, simply. He reached down and hauled Jim to his feet.“Hey! What about me? I’m the one you strangled,” Bones grumbled, getting to his feet himself.“Are you all right?”“Well, I…”“Captain.”Bones scowled.Jim grinned. “Well you did kind of toss me into the wall pretty hard. Lost my breath for a second.”“I will make sure you get it back later,” Spock murmured.Jim stepped closer.“Okay, that’s it, out of my medbay. It’s April Fools, not Valentine’s Day. Everybody out.”“Bridge. Mr. Spock?”“Indeed, Captain.”“A joke,” Chekov muttered. “I thought he killed the doctor and it vas a joke.”
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“I now declare my independence,” Jim said as he walked beside Bones.Bones smirked. “From Gary?”“Gary and from all others. No more relationships, Bones. I am footloose and fancy free.” Jim turned around and started walking backwards, doing a little foot work as he did so, laughing at the look Bones was giving him.He turned around then and walked straight into…“Oomph.” Jim staggered back and a hand shot out to steady him. He felt himself blushing hot. And staring into the most beautiful pair of dark eyes he’d ever seen. “Uh. Hi. And, um, sorry.”The guy, a Vulcan, arched a brow. “That was quite a dance.”“Uh.” Jim laughed uncomfortably. “Yeah. I was…sort of celebrating. Jim Kirk.”“Spock. What were you celebrating?”“A, uh.” He moistened his lips. “A break up.”“How fortunate.”“It is?”“For me,” Spock said, matter-of-fact. “Dinner?”Jim heard Bones coughing nearby.He ignored him.Smiled.“Yeah. Dinner sounds great.”“Jim!”“Uh. Hang on one second,” Jim said.The Vulcan, Spock, looked past him to Bones. “Your keeper?”Jim laughed. “Nah. He only thinks so. Give me one minute.”Jim scurried back to Bones. “Hey, I’m…”“Yeah, I figured that,” Bones said sarcastically. “What happened to all that talk of Independence with a capital I?” “Well, I did say of relationships,” Jim pointed out.“Uh-huh. So this thing with that guy, who’s a professor at the Academy, by the way, is just gonna be a one-night stand?”“Or two or three or you know whatever amount it takes.” Jim winked.“Should I expect you home tonight?”Jim glanced at Spock who narrowed his eyes. Jim licked his lips, swallowed. “No. No. I don’t think so.” He patted Bones’ arm. “Or maybe for a couple of nights.”“A couple of nights? Jim…”“Longer even.”“Jim!”“See you, Bones.”He scrambled after Spock who had begun to walk away. He fell into step beside the Vulcan.“Professor huh?”“Yes, Cadet. So do…behave.”Jim stumbled, then blushed. “Yeah. Yeah.”“Yeah?”Jim cleared his throat as he struggled to keep up with Spock’s long strides. “Sir. Yes, sir.”He could be independent in a day or two. Right.
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“Bones, there’s no such things as ghosts.” Jim paused as they walked along while he ducked to avoid a banner that read Julie’s Haunts. “It’s all make believe.”“I know that.” Bones glanced behind him. “Sorta. It’s just that my Aunt Willie…”“Your aunt’s name was Willie?”“Wilhelmina. As I was saying before I was interrupted…”“Rudely interrupted.” Jim laughed.“Yes. My sainted mother used to say she saw Aunt Willie wandering around by the duck pond behind our house.”“So?”“Aunt Willie had been dead for years, Jim.”Jim rolled his eyes. “Well if your momma said…”Bones wagged a finger at him. “Don’t you go sassing my momma.”Jim ignored him. Well, just kind of. He ducked behind another banner that read The Thrill.“Jim, this seems an odd place to meet your new boyfriend.”“It’s a haunted festival, Bones.”“Still. I don’t think ghosts are something to take lightly. My Uncle Roo…”“Wait. Who?”“Roo. Short for Roosevelt.”“What happened to Aunt Willie?”“Other side of the family. Uncle Roo saw his sweet momma…”“Don’t tell me.” Jim held up his hands. “By the duck pond.”Bones gave him a look. “Of course not. Out by the barn.”“There’s always a barn.”“Jim—”“We’re here.” Jim had stopped in front of a Haunted House that declared itself Windorf Manor.“Where is here?”Jim grabbed Bones’ arm. They went inside.Just inside the door was a witch.Jim grinned. “Should have known you’d make a good witch, Uhura.”“Funny.” She lifted her wart covered long appendage that hung off her real nose. “Spock’s in there.”Bones snickered. “What’s lover boy dressed as?”“You’ll see. Next room.” She put her hand on Jim’s arm. “Wait. Tickets please.”Jim snorted and handed her the tickets for him and Bones.He went to the next room. Saw the Grim Reaper.“Uh. Spock?”The hood was lowered, and the mask removed. Yes, it was Spock.“Ashayam.”Jim laughed and went to him, kissing him soundly, ignoring the gagging noises Bones made.“This seems odd for you, Spock,” Bones said after collecting himself.“Nyota talked me into it. And it is for charity.”“Gotta say you look kinda spooky.”“I’m surprised the idiot here didn’t get talked into being a zombie or something.”Jim shuddered. “Do not say the Z word. Those are so creepy.”Bones made a wooo sound and Jim shoved him.“Thought you said there were no such things as ghosts.”“Ghosts yeah. But zombies…”A hand fell on his shoulder. Jim jumped and turned quickly, turning around to see a zombie leering at him.“Braaaiiiiinnnnnsssss.”Jim screamed, turning and fleeing the room.Bones doubled over, laughing.“Sulu, he’s going to kill you!”“Well, geez, I didn’t know he was going to flip out that much.”Spock sighed. “I had better go after him. He will be upset the rest of the day.”“Guess you’ll have to comfort him then.”Spock went to the next room.Nyota pointed outside with a shake of her head.Spock went outside to find Jim pacing back and forth next to the sign that reads Windorf Manor.“Jim? Jim, are you all right?”“Yeah. I guess. Just…embarrassed.”“There is no need. Sulu was intending to scare you.” Spock frowned slightly. “Is that not the point of these kinds of things in October?”Jim shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “Er. Yeah. I just…I don’t like scary things.” He laughed. Turned red.He was adorable.Spock took his hand. “I am done for the day. Come, you can stay at my apartment tonight, we will get whatever you want to eat, and I will pamper you.”Jim smiled. “Pizza? A Hamburger? Chips?”“All of that?”Jim nodded.“Very well, ashayam. All of that.”As they left the Halloween Festival, Spock noticed Jim’s mood was quite a bit improved.So was his.
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The conversation with his father stays with Spock for a long time. So much so that he spends even more time in meditation than usual, loses his concentration on the bridge, and gets out of plans he’d had with other crew members, in particular Jim.He knows that Jim has noticed. Jim eyes Spock fervently. And in time, Spock will need to talk to Jim about it. About everything. But he is not yet ready.Jim stops asking to spend time with Spock, then, and Spock knows this is not a good thing. They have been in a relationship for the past nine months. They are nearing the end of the five-year mission. He knows Jim is considering going out for another five years and if he does, Spock is uncertain how that will work. But he wants it to.He has been thinking about this for two straight weeks, even Nyota has been giving him strange looks, and he is aware the crew knows he is to blame for Jim’s quiet, pensive mood.So he goes to his captain’s quarters, prepared to explain everything.Spock realizes he has left all of this too long. Jim’s gaze is rather cold, which is unlike him since they got together. In fact, the coldness there reminds Spock of the glacial blue directed his way on the day they met.“What’s on your mind, Commander?” Jim asks. Spock recognizes the defensive move. Jim’s body language is highly defensive too. He’s wearing his pajamas, pants and a T-shirt, but while he usually does nothing to alter his appearance when Spock is there, this time he pulls on a regulation robe. He’s got his arms crossed in front of his chest, too.“I would like to discuss our personal relationship and the consequences related to it.”Jim purses his lips, but nods.“May we sit?” Spock gestures to the small sofa in the sitting room of Jim’s quarters.Jim walks over to sit down without comment. Spock joins him there.“I would like to take the next step between us,” Spock says simply. “If you are amenable, I believe by regulation 213a we are required to file papers with the admiralty. I believe—“Wait. What?” Jim’s mouth is hanging open and his eyes are wide.“A bonding ceremony at the soonest opportunity on New Vulcan is wise, but I believe that you as well as our crew and friends would also prefer to experience a Terran traditional marriage ceremony.”“Spock, Spock. Slow down.” Jim exhaled. “Is this…are you proposing?”Spock nods. “Yes. We are, at this point, fully committed to the long-term, are we not?”“Uh. I thought so.” Jim traces his lips with his tongue. “But…Spock, you, uh, you’ve been kind of distant and I thought, maybe, you were having second thoughts.”“I am sorry for giving you that impression or causing you to doubt the sincerity of my feelings, Jim. Discussing this was something I should have already done, but recently, after a conversation with my father, it became more important.”Jim seems to take this in. “What does Sarek have to do with this?”And this is where it gets tricky.“There is a…small Vulcan boy. My cousin’s son. He is half Vulcan and half Betazed. His parents were killed in the recent freighter ship crash on Loewen 12. He is but four years old and an orphan. No one wishes to take charge of him. My father would do so but he is troubled by some recent indications of declining health and would not like to put the child in a position of losing another parental figure.”Jim’s eyes were so wide now that with his suddenly very pale skin, Spock is alarmed.He continues anyway.“The suggestion was made that you and I could foster the child with the ultimate goal formal adoption,” Spock says carefully. “However, the terms would require that we were a bonded pair to give some sense of stability. I know that it likely seems as though I am bringing up bonding and marriage solely so that we make take charge of this child, but…”Jim lowered his gaze. “But?”“That is not the case. My love for you is unparalleled. There is no one I would rather spend my lifetime with and as I said I know I should have brought this up before, but I did feel as though there was no rush, but now—”“There is.”“Yes.”“Spock, you know I love you.”“But?”Jim shakes his head. “There is no but. I’m willing to bond with and marry you. That’s never been an issue with me. Whenever you want to, I’m on board with that. I’ve never loved anyone. Not really. You’re it. That isn’t going to change if we wait another five years.”And Spock is gladdened by this. He is.“Then the issue is the adopting of the child?”Jim laughs. It is a welcome sound even if it does sound a tad hysterical. “We’re on a starship, Spock. A child under those circumstances?”“Our five-year mission is close to an end. I believe my father would care for him until we can take over his care.”“So, then, what, we retire to raise a kid?”Spock purses his lips this time. He tries not to show that he is disappointed in Jim’s response. He isn’t even sure why as he was certain Jim would not immediately agree.“I…” Spock sighs. He cannot help it. He rises from the sofa and walks over to Jim’s terminal. Jim is watching his every move. He finds what he is looking for. “Come.”Jim does. He rounds his desk and looks down at the holo portrait of the four-year-old boy. Spock hears the sharp intake of Jim’s breath. Sees the softening in Jim’s eyes as he focuses on the little pointed ears.“Spock,” Jim whispers.“Please, Ashaya.”He pulls Jim down to sit on his lap, showing him all the information on the boy that Sarek has sent. They go over everything together and by the end, Jim has tears in his eyes.“Jim?”Jim takes a deep breath, then nods. “All right. Somehow…we’ll figure this out.”Spock closes his eyes in relief and in the great magnitude of his love for this incredible human.“Together.”“Yes,” Jim agrees. “Always.”
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On Delta VegaJim turned away from the old Vulcan who claimed to be Spock, panting heavily. Tears blinded his vision. His heart hurt.He vaguely heard the old Vulcan say something about “emotional transference”.“Then you do feel?” Jim asked, not even sure why. He had never fallen into that ridiculous idea that Vulcans had no emotions.“Yes,” Spock said.There was something about his voice that had Jim turning. The old man had a hand resting on the wall of the ice cave. His eyes were half-closed, and he looked uncomfortable.Jim hurried over, taking hold of his thin arms. “Are you all right? What’s wrong?”He helped the old Vulcan over to sit on a smooth rock that appeared to resemble a chair almost. This place, this planet, was so cold. It seemed particularly cruel to strand Spock here. But then, Jim himself had been stranded here by Spock.Jim crouched down beside him. “What is it?”“Emotional transference works both ways I am afraid.”Jim frowned. “Meaning?”“I saw things…Jim.” Spock shook his head. “Your young life.”“Oh.” Jim lowered his gaze and nodded. “Right. I didn’t mean for you to see all that.”“I am aware, and I apologize. Knowing Jim, I would not have wanted you to experience what you have.”“Life is life, I guess. We all have to make of it what we can.”“That is true.” Spock reached out and took Jim’s hands in his, which was a surprise to Jim. He had never been shown kindness like this from a stranger, really, let alone someone claiming to be Spock, who’d angrily and coldly sent him here.“Where you come from? Did I know my father?”“He proudly lived to see you become Captain of the Enterprise.”Jim took this in. “Going back in time, you changed all of our lives.”“Yes,” Spock agreed. “And in some cases, yours, not for the better, I see.”Spock still held onto Jim’s hands. Firmly and yet gently. Jim’s gaze rose and he stared into those brown eyes. There was something there…“Spock, was your-your relationship. Just what was it with the me where you’re from?”“You received emotional transference, Jim, what do you think?”“I…”Spock squeezed Jim’s hands then and then released them. “Do not think too hard on it for now, Jim. At some point, I believe it will become relevant. Right now there is an outpost some distance away that you and I must head for. We must get you safely back to the Enterprise so that you can become Captain, as you belong.”Jim helped Spock up and shook his head, smiling slightly. “What did you see? From me? What emotional transference did you get?”Spock hesitated. “I saw Frank, Tarsus, your mother, Sam, your feelings that you will never measure up to your father, to expectations, that you will never be loved. And all the emotions that surround those memories, those feelings.”Jim sucked in a breath. “Wow. That kind of sucks. You-you got all that in a few seconds?”“Our minds are extremely attuned.”“They are?” Jim asked doubtfully.“Yes. Come, Jim. There is no time to waste.”
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“I’m bored.”Zachary did not look up from the task he was attending to that afternoon.“You are always bored, Tiberius” he replied.Tiberius lounged naked on their bed. He rested on his back and stared at the ceiling while he threw a small rubber ball into the air to then catch it repeatedly.Less than an hour ago, Zachary spent a great deal of time making sure Tiberius was not bored. But that time had come again, and Zachary actually had work to do assigned to him by the King of Woldron, Tiberius’ father.“Well…amuse me.”Zachary snorted. “I think not. Go find something to do. Preferably with clothes on.”“You’re no fun.” His prince’s tone was petulant.“That is not the tune you were singing a short time ago,” he said wryly.Tiberius sat up. “How long do think the talents of your magic cock last?”Zachary shook his head. He chose not to answer that one.Tiberius got out of bed then, but to Zachary’s annoyance, he came to stand behind Zachary, and then, lean on his shoulders to see what he was doing.“Do you mind?”“Only a little.” Tiberius smirked, kissed Zachary’s neck, and then dramatically took himself off to get dressed.“Oh, and my darling prince, do try to stay out of trouble.”A door slammed and Zachary sighed.****Jim Kirk looked at his terminal with a frown. “Lieutenant, did you say the transmission is from Woldron?”“Yes, Captain. It does not appear to be a distress signal,” Uhura replied. “Should I tell them you aren’t available?”“Yes,” Spock said coolly from beside him.Jim gave him a look. “No, Uhura. Patch it through.”“I do not like the royal family of Woldron.” Spock sniffed.“Didn’t you almost sleep with Tiberius?”“I did no such thing.”“Shh.”Prince Tiberius himself appeared on Jim’s screen. He was dressed all in frilly satin and his bejeweled crown was askew on his head. He held a golden goblet. Really, he looked quite ridiculous.“To what do we owe this…uh…honor, Tibby?” The prince rolled his eyes. “No one calls me that.”Jim grinned. “I know.”Tiberius replied, “I’m bored.”“So?”“My husband suggested I find something to do, so…”“Well, his husband suggests you look elsewhere for entertainment. The captain is busy commanding a starship.”Tiberius chuckled and then waved. “Hi there, Spock. Long time no see.”Spock stared stonily at him.“My my. He’s gotten stuffier over the years, hasn’t he?”“Well…” Jim looked at Spock. “Why don’t you go, uh, sit over there, Spock?”“I am fine where I am, Captain.”Tiberius took a drink and then said, “What’s that tree with lights behind you?”“A Christmas tree,” Jim replied. “It’s the Christmas season.”“Christmas? Woldron doesn’t do Christmas.” Tiberius leaned forward eagerly. “Is it fun?”“Well, sure. You sing carols and have presents and drink peppermint mochas and…”“Hmm. I would like to try it. Perhaps we should switch again?”“Over my dead body,” Spock snapped. “Fortunately, the Enterprise is not near enough to your location for such nonsense to take place.”Tiberius pouted. Jim decided then and there he would never pout again. The prince looked like a spoiled child. Well, he was. Spoiled anyway.“You used to be a little fun,” the prince said with a sigh. “Still think I’d make a great Starship captain.”“You make a fine prince, Your Highness,” Spock said, a little more kindly. “Your planet and your husband are indeed lucky to have you.”“You think so?”“I do. And we are even more lucky Woldron is so far away. Goodbye, Your Highness.”Jim laughed as Spock disconnected the transmission. “Where were we?”“I believe you were about to kiss me under the plant fungus.”“Mistletoe, Spock. Sheesh.” But he pulled Spock down into his lap, held the mistletoe over their heads and laid one on.****Zachary had been called away by King George, but when he returned to the chambers he shared with Tiberius, he could smell…cookies? He thought they were cookies. Some sort of spiced cookies. And then he heard music.“Hark the Herald, Angels Sing…”And Tiberius was singling along at the top of his lungs.Zachary pushed open the doors.He was greeted by Tiberius, dressed from head to toe in green and red ribbons, one even discreetly covering his cock. His face sparkled as though it was covered in glitter. In the corner of their bedroom was a giant Earth pine tree decorated with ornaments and garlands. He’d seen pictures of this sort of thing. There was a…“Tiberius…is that a reindeer?”Tiberius looked at the animal feeding in another corner of the room. “Yes. Otherwise known as a Caribou, I guess. It’s Christmas!!!”“That is a live creature. How did you…?”“Magic, of course. Merry Christmas!”“We do not celebrate Christmas.”“We do now.” Tiberius threw his arms around Zachary. “Come on. Unwrap me, I’m your present.”Zachary smiled and kissed him. “You are indeed my most precious gift.”
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As Spock approached the door of the apartment he shared with Jim Kirk, he was quite certain he heard Jingle Bells. The song rather than actual bells. And since Spock knew it was July, he was quite puzzled. The Terran holiday of Christmas was not for months. And even if one considered that Jingle Bells was a secular song that only mentioned snow and sleighs, it still seemed an odd choice given the summer heat.With a shake of his head, Spock opened the door and stepped inside. The air conditioning was on frigid blast, he quickly noted, glancing at the ceiling to ensure icicles were not indeed forming. He saw no immediate sign of his boyfriend.“Computer, raise temperature twenty degrees.”“Engaging.”Instantly the air of the apartment felt much more appropriate, though still cool enough to satisfy Jim.“Jim? Jim, are you here?”Jingle Bells had ended but was now replaced with It Came Upon a Midnight Clear. Spock sniffed. If he was not mistaken, Jim was baking sugar cookies. And he had decorated the apartment with garland, elves, and Santa Clauses. He was completely perplexed.“Jim?”Jim came out of the bedroom then, wearing an apron with a reindeer applique.“Oh.” Jim’s face brightened. “I didn’t think you were coming home for a few more hours.”“I finished early. Jim, are you…?”Jim whirled around, arms outstretched. “Yep. You caught me.”“Caught you?”“I’m having an affair.”“An…”Jim laughed. “With Christmas.”Spock frowned. “I do not understand.”“Right, which is why I didn’t tell you about it. I figured I’d have it mostly cleaned up before you got home.” Jim sighed and threw his arms around Spock. “It’s Christmas in July.”“That is a thing?” Spock accepted Jim’s sweet kiss. He loved kissing Jim.“Yep. Well sorta. Some camp came up with it many many years ago. Anyway, see, when I was a kid, my Gran and I used to spend a day in July celebrating it. Only the two of us. My brother thought I was nuts and Frank…we won’t talk about him. Mom usually wasn’t there. So it was Gran and me. We’d make cookies and decorate and listen to songs, just for that day.” Jim smiled wistfully. “I miss her.”Spock closed his arms around Jim, holding him close. “There was no need to hide this part of yourself, Jim. You may celebrate Christmas in July every day in July if that is what it takes to make you happy.”Jim smiled and kissed him again. “That’s why you’re absolutely perfect.”“I do not know that I am perfect.”His boyfriend laughed. “For me, anyway. Want to help me decorate cookies?”“If you wish.”“I do. And by the way, if I don’t say it enough, I love you.”Spock initiated the kiss this time. “And I love you as well. Let’s decorate cookies.”
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Jim held his head in his hands and groaned. Underneath his ass he had a cushion. He shifted on it. It didn’t help much.“Hangover?”Jim eyed his so-called best friend through slits in his fingers. “Listen, Partridge, I’m in no mood for your smirkiness.”Bones chuckled. “I can see that. And that partridge thing better not become a new nickname. I was coerced into wearing that outfit.”“Mm.” Jim released hold of his head long enough to stick a straw in his coffee.“You look worse for wear. Can’t even swallow normal?”“I did plenty of swallowing last night.”“I definitely didn’t need to hear that.”Jim couldn’t even bring up a smile. “Spock and I did a lot of celebrating our newly engaged status.”Bones looked down at Jim’s cushion, shook his head. “Do I need to have you off duty for the day?”“Could you? Not sure I’m going to make it otherwise.”“Okay, but then your betrothed has to be the captain.”“He’s fine. Doesn’t drink and is weirdly healthy and strong this morning.” Jim grimaced. “Vaguely annoying, really.”“Informed the brass yet you’re getting hitched?”“Spock filed the report for us last night in between—”“Yeah, I get it,” his friend said quickly.“He took me quite seriously about that pipers piping crack.” Jim groaned. “If you’re really going to have me off, I’m going to sleep for about a hundred hours.”“You want a shot for your, uh, derriere pain?”“Nah, it’ll go away on its own. Feels better already. All I can say is it’s a good thing the holidays are once a year.”“You could have had a little less to drink. How about a shot for your head?”“Don’t you have like a tablet?”Bones shrugged. “Sure, but it will take longer to work.”“Better that than you jabbing me in the neck.”“I suppose you’ve had enough of being jabbed for a while,” Bones said with a smirk.Jim rolled his eyes. “Here comes Spock. Behave.”“I’m an angel,” Bones insisted.“Good Morning, Captain. Doctor.”Spock sat next to Jim, his gaze straying to the cushion underneath Jim’s ass. He glanced up at Jim.“Er, Bones said I could be off duty for the next shift. You okay with that?”“Of course, Captain. I can see quite clearly you need to recuperate.”“When’s the big day anyway?” Bones asked.“Don’t know.”“The sooner the better,” Spock said at the same time.Jim mustered a small smile. “Yeah? Good. As soon as I feel normal again.”“You’ve never been normal, Jim.”“Shut up, Bones.” Jim struggled up from his chair in the mess and just barely refrained from rubbing a sore cheek.“Do you require assistance to your quarters?” Spock asked.“I’ll help him. Have to get him a hangover tablet anyway.” Bones stood up and took Jim’s arm. “Congratulations you two. I really mean it.”Jim let himself be led from the mess room with a jaunty wave at Spock. Or at least an attempt at one. He really did feel like crap. But Spock said yes and soon they’d be married.And since Spock’s last name was unproduceable, that meant Spock would just have to suffer with Captain and Commander Kirk.“What are you giggling at?” Bones demanded as he pushed him into the turbolift.“Just happy.” Jim winced. “Uh. But I’m not entirely sure I’m finished throwing up.”Bones gave a long suffering sigh and then to Jim’s amazed horror, he stuck a hypospray into Jim’s neck.“Ouch.”“It’s good to always be prepared where you’re concerned. Merry Day After Christmas.”Jim rubbed his neck. “Uh, yeah. Thanks.”
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Here we come a-Wassailing
Among the leaves so green,Here we come a wandering,So fairly to be seen.Here we come a wanderingSo fairly to be seen.Love and joy come to youAnd to you a Wassail tooGod bless you and send you,A Happy New YearGod send you a Happy New Year.
“Captain? Jim?”Jim turned off the water in the shower. “Uh. Sorry, Spock. Was I too loud?”“You were quite…boisterous.”“Can you hand me that towel, Spock?”Spock handed Jim the big towel, gaze averted.Jim used it to briefly dry off, then wrapped it around him.“I guess I’m a little excited for the holiday party.”Spock finally looked at him. “I was unaware you were particularly fond of Terran celebrations.”“Sure. I mean, you know.” Jim shrugged. “With Carol Marcus back on the ship…”“I see. Then you intend to make your move as they say.”Jim smiled. “You could say that. You’ll be there, right?”Spock made a small face, but he nodded. “I did say I would. Unlike you, I am not anticipating it at all.”“It good for crew morale. See you there.”And he exited the bathroom to get ready.Much later, Jim was approached at the holiday celebration by Bones.The doctor looked him up and down. “You pulled out all the stops tonight. I hate to admit it, Jim, but you’re looking particularly fetching.”Jim laughed and batted his lashes. “Why thank you.”“Got some kind of plan?”“I do.” Jim surveyed the party goers. “I’m finally going to act on my feelings.”“Oh?” Bones smirked. “Sure of yourself, are you?”“Not remotely,” Jim admitted. “But hopeful.” He put his hand on Bones’ arm. “I see the object of my affection. Catch you later.”He started to cross the room.“Oh! Jim! There you are.” Carol Marcus moved in front of him. She wore a sparkly Christmas green dress. She smiled prettily at him. “I’ve been waiting for you to arrive.”“Don’t you look beautiful? Hi, Carol.”“Want to get a drink?” she asked.“I’d love to.”She started to link her arm with his.“But…I’ll have to take a raincheck.”Her face fell. “I-I don’t understand.”“There’s someone else I’m hoping to spend time with tonight. I’m sorry.”Jim moved away and then stopped in the middle of the rec room. He could no longer see the object of his affection. His disappointment threatened to choke him. He turned around.There.Jim almost ran, afraid to be disappointed again, if he was too late.He stopped, held up the mistletoe and then delated, suddenly feeling foolish.“Captain?” Spock arched a brow. “Are you all right?”“No.” Jim shook his head. “Spock—”“What? What is wrong?” Spock put his hands on Jim’s forearms.“I just…I realized this was a really bad idea.” Jim moistened his lips. “Want to get out of here?”“Leave the holiday party?” Spock frowned minutely. “I thought your intention was to make your move on Doctor Marcus.”“No, my intent was to make my move on you,” Jim clarified. “I brought…mistletoe.”“Mistletoe?”“Yeah, it’s a thing, where…”Spock shook his head. “I know what it is.”Jim searched Spock’s face. “You do? Spock, I…”“Am I to understand your intentions were toward me and not Doctor Marcus?” Jim laughed. It was all just so absurd. “Yeah. I was trying to be coy and subtle and that never works for me.”Spock’s lips twitched. “Yes.”“Yes?”“I would like to leave the holiday party and go to your quarters.”Jim’s mood was definitely improving. “Yeah? You would?”“Indeed. I would prefer to make my move on you in private.”Jim grinned. “Well, Merry Christmas to me!”“Love and Joy come to you?” Spock asked as he took Jim’s arm and led him from the party.“I sure hope so, Spock. I sure hope so.”
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“You go ask him.”“Are you crazy? I’m not doing it.”Heavy sigh.“Come on, Jimmy. You’re the only one he kind of likes.”Jim eyed the kid who’d said that. Sandy was his name. Short for Alexander. “Oh, that guarantees my success,” Jim replied, sarcastically. “I’ll start with that. ‘oh, hey, new guy, since you almost like me, at least more than any of the rest, could you…”“Just do it, Kirk.” It was always the girls who thought they were tough. And it was one of them that had just shoved him toward the new guy.Jim stuck his hands in his pockets, gave one last derisive look to his so-called friends, and sauntered up to the picnic table where the new guy sat, nose in a book. A paper one.He cleared his throat but that got him nothing.Jim scowled in his friends direction when he heard the snicker. He sat down then across from the guy.“So…Vulcan, huh?”
Great opening line there, Jimmy. No wonder he’s still ignoring you.
“You’re the new guy.”Very slowly dark eyes rose up to stare at him. They made Jim shiver.“I know who I am,” he said. “Who are you?”So much for the theory he kind of liked Jim if he didn’t even know his name.“Jim. Uh. Kirk.”“Is it Jim or is it Kirk?”“Both. Jim Kirk. Like you know, a last name. What’s yours?”“Spock.”“Spock what? Or, um, what Spock?”“Just Spock.”Jim nodded. “Like um, Cher or Charo. Like that.”“I have no idea who they are.”Jim laughed a little. “I don’t know them either.”“Then why mention them?”“They’re from, you know, like the past. Long past I just thought…well that compared to Spock. Just Spock.”Spock stared at him.Jim shifted. “Um, so, want to join the Glee Club?”“The what?”“Glee Club. We sing. We’re about to do a holiday concert.”“Holiday.”“Uh-huh. We’re planning on singing Hark the Herald for one.”“I am not familiar with that.”“Oh come on. You’ve got to know that. It’s famous. Also gonna sing Santa Claus is Coming to Town.”“Going to.”Jim nodded.Spock put his book down. “What I mean is, you are not speaking properly. It’s ‘going to sing Santa Claus is Coming to Town. Not gonna.”Jim scowled. “I know proper grammar, dude.”“It is most curious then as to why you do not use it.”“Are you going to join the Club or not?” Spock leaned back. “What else are you going to sing?”“Couple other Christmas songs. And some for Hanukkah. The usual stuff you sing at these kinds of concerts. You get extra credit if you join. Don’t worry if you sing like a frog. So does Ralph and he’s still a member.”“I do not sing like a frog.”Jim shrugs. “I didn’t mean anything by it. Well? What do you say?”Spock didn’t respond at first. He finally said, “And you are in this Glee Club?”He smiled. “Yep. Glee Club President.”“What does a Glee Club president do?”“Ask others to join,” Jim joked. “Well, whaddya say?”“Since you clearly need help with your education, Jim Kirk, I will assist you with your club.”Jim held up his hand for a high five. Spock stared at his hand.“You’re supposed to hit me.”“Why would I strike you?”“Not me, dummy. My hand.”“Isn’t it part of you?”“Now see. I think, maybe, we can help each other out, Spock. You can teach me to speak proper grammar and I can teach you how to be a real person on Earth.”“A real person.”“Yep. You’re here going to school right now cause your pop’s the ambassador dude, right?”Spock gave him a look. “I suppose the answer is affirmative.”Jim grinned. “All right then, Spock. Stick we with me. It’s gonna be great.” Jim turned around and gave the thumbs up to his friends.“What is the meaning of that gesture? Is it obscene?”He laughed. “Nah. That’s this one.” Jim showed him. “But never mind. Come on. It’s time for Jim Kirk Course One.”“When do we rehearse the songs?”Jim liked that Spock got up from the picnic table and followed him.“Tomorrow afternoon. But today, you’re just going to hang out with me and benefit from the experience.”That earned him an eyebrow raise, but Jim slung an arm around Spock’s shoulders and led him away from his group of friends. Jim wanted Spock to himself.“Now, the song goes, Hark the Herald Angels Sing…”
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Jim opened the farmhouse door to young Vanik.Jim frowned. “Vanik?” He looked beyond the boy but saw no one else. “Are you alone?”“I am, Jim,” the boy said. “I came to speak with you about Uncle Spock.”“How did you get here?”“By shuttle of course.”Jim rolled his eyes. “Do your parents know you’re here?”“No.”“You’d better come inside. Your ears are probably getting frostbite.” He yanked the young half-Vulcan into the house.“About my uncle—”“Forget it.”“But he is most apologetic and misses you terribly.”Jim closed the door and gazed down at the boy. “Did he send you?”“No,” Vanik admitted. “But I know that it is true.”“Vanik, you’re just a kid, but you’re going to find out in life that sometimes relationships just don’t work out.”“Perhaps. But that is not true in your case. You are fated mates.”Jim snorted. “Yeah, whatever. Your uncle is a big jerk.”Vanik nodded. “That is no doubt true, but I know that nevertheless, he cares for you a great deal. He wishes to apologize.”“Then why isn’t he here instead of you?” Jim raised both eyebrows expectantly.“He wants to but he is shy.”Jim actually laughed at that. “Uh-huh. I’d better contact your parents.”Vanik bit his lip. “If you like, you can return with me to San Francisco and meet with Uncle Spock.”“Can’t.”“Why not?”“Because I agreed to spend the Christmas holidays with my mother and she arrives here in two days. I’ll have to get your parents to come get you. I don’t know how in the world they let you travel here alone.”“I am not a child.”“You are ten years old. That’s a kid.”Jim walked further into the house with Vanik following.“You could contact Spock to come and get me.”“I think it’s better to contact your parents.”Vanik stopped and looked at the Christmas tree Jim had been putting up in the living room. “I could help you finish decorating the pine.”“Well, maybe, while we wait for your folks. It’s probably okay. You sit there while I contact them.”Vanik sighed and did as he was told. “Very well.”*****It was a couple of hours later when Jim heard the doorbell ring. With Vanik’s help, he had finished decorating the tree and had even strung the lights on it, which he’d just turned on. It looked pretty good, he decided. And his mom would be pleased.He had gotten Vanik a cup of warm cider and a plate of cookies, so he sat on the couch now and munched away.“That’ll be your folks.”Jim smiled at the boy and went to the front door to greet Sybok and Anoria.He blinked into the face of Spock.His former boyfriend wore a big fluffy navy sweater and he looked unexpectedly pale.“Jim.” His name was like a soft whisper on Spock’s lips.“Spock?”“I…miss you.”Jim’s stomach flipped. “You…aren’t here to collect Vanik?”Spock frowned. “What?”“The kid he’s here. I contacted Sybok. I thought maybe he sent you.”“No.” Spock shook his head. He reached for Jim and pulled him out into the yard. And though it was cold and their breath could be seen, Jim didn’t really mind. “I miss you every moment of every hour of every day. I cannot sleep or eat or do anything, really. I love you more than mere words can convey. If you will forgive me and allow me back into your life, I will spend every moment of every hour of every day convincing you that I am worthy of your affections.”“Well I…” Jim’s throat clogged and he attempted to swallow. “I think somewhere in there was an apology.”“A most humble one. I cannot guarantee I will not upset you again, Jim, but please know that I never intentionally hurt you, for you are the most precious being in all the universe to me.”“Spock,” Jim said, brokenly, throwing himself into Spock’s arms. The Vulcan’s arms came around him, holding him so close he could barely breathe, and he cared not at all.“Then you forgive me?” Spock asked.“Yes. Yes, of course.”“You will return to our home in San Francisco?”“Yes. Well. No. I mean not yet. Mom’s coming for Christmas and I said I’d stay through the new year.” Jim pulled back to look at him. But Spock barely let him go. “Will you stay here with me?”“There is no way I am going anywhere without you.”“Yay!”They turned as one to see Vanik standing in the doorway to the farmhouse clapping.“Vanik,” Spock said, shaking his head. “When your father comes—”“Actually.” Vanik cleared his throat. “I contacted my parents and advised them that now that you are here, I wish to stay for the Terran holiday season as Jim’s guest.”Spock stared. “Vanik—”Jim chuckled. He felt too happy to do much else. Spock still held on to him. “It’s okay, Spock. He can stay.”Spock glanced at him. “Are you certain? I can make sure that my brother collects the pest.”“Really. It’s fine.” Jim kissed him. Spock kissed him back. “Come on. Let’s go inside where it’s warm.”“That would be most agreeable.”Jim went to move but Spock kept him there. “You have to let me go so I can walk.”“Perhaps I should carry you.”“Spock.”Spock sighed. “Very well.”And he released Jim but took his hand almost immediately. Together they entered the house, Vanik before them, and went to begin their celebration.It was very merry indeed.
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“I love you, Daddy,” M’Rasha declared as Jim scooped his seven-year-old daughter up into his arms.“I love you more.”“Nuh-uh.”Jim laughed. “Yep.”She shook her blonde head. Recently, she’d asked Granny to cut her hair, so her long ringlets were gone and replaced by a cute little bob.“I love you much more!”Jim scoffed. “I love you much much more.”She gave him a look that reminded her of Spock. Definitely his influence. “I love you mostest.”He laughed outright. “Okay, you win. That’s not a word though.”“Are the two of you finished with your illogical game?”And speaking of the love of his life. One of them anyway. Two others were M’Rasha and M’Nisarr, his son. His cup runneth over. Spock held the remaining love of his life. For now, anyway. A small part Human, part Vulcan boy of two months who had been created with both their DNAs. He had dark hair, pointed ears, and the bluest of eyes.M’Rasha gazed down at her brother from her height in Jim’s arm. “Saran looks like he’s going potty again, Daddy.”Spock sighed. “No doubt. I will go and change him.”“Meet us by the tree in the living room when you’re finished.”Jim bent down slightly in the kitchen to pick up the mug of hot chocolate. The mug was made out of unbreakable material after one too many messes when his daughter had dropped her mug.He carried her to the living room where M’Nisarr, Granny, and Grandpa all sat by the Christmas tree.His mother and Spock’s father now split their time between Earth and New Vulcan. For the Terran holidays, they were here with Spock and Jim in San Francisco. In the summer, they’d been married in a ceremony on New Vulcan. It was weird, yes, but not really in a bad way. His mother was quite happy and Sarek was content.Starfleet had decided that they weren’t quite ready to allow children on a Starship, so Admiral Kirk sat behind a desk most days and Spock resumed teaching at the Academy. It was a good life. Especially now with the addition of Saran.Jim set M’Rasha down so she could plop herself in Granny’s lap, one of her favorite places to sit. Spock came up beside Jim, holding a newly changed Saran.Jim leaned over to place a reasonably chaste kiss on Spock’s lips. “Love you.“Love you more,” Spock said with a twinkle in his eyes.Jim grinned. “Love you much—”“James Tiberius,” his mother admonished.He laughed. “Well. Anyway. Whose gonna start the first Christmas Carol?”“You, Daddy!” M’Nisarr yelled.Since they both called he and Spock Daddy, Jim wasn’t really sure which one they meant, but he met Spock’s gaze.“Want to start it together?”Spock arched a brow. “You know that I am not fond of singing Terran Christmas songs.”“Fine then.” Jim walked over to his son, picked up M’Nisarr as he had previously done his sister, and said, “Come on. We’ll start it together.”M’Nisarr smiled shyly but he nodded.“Hark the Herald Angels Sing, Glory to Our Newborn King!”
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“Do you think we should have a Christmas wedding?”Leonard eyes Jim. They sit in the 5th floor Officer’s Lunchroom at Starfleet HQ. Normally Jim hates being in the ‘No peons allowed” area, as he calls it, “I used to be a peon, Bones, it’s BS,” but because Jim wants a more private isolated area to talk to Bones, he suggests it.“You and me?” Leonard jokes.It earns him the trademark “I loathe you” Kirk look.“Funny. You know who I mean. Is a Christmas wedding corny?”Leonard shrugs. “Maybe. But aren’t all ceremonies a bit corny?”“Well.” Jim takes a swig from his beer. “You are divorced so there’s no huge surprise with that attitude. Was just thinking, I don’t know, white fur and snow. Imitation of course. The fur, I mean, I’d prefer the real snow.”“Doesn’t snow in San Francisco.”“I know. I was thinking Riverside. Maybe.”“Doesn’t always snow there at Christmas either.”“Yeah. I mean I can figure that out. So snow and fur and like gold and silver. Kind of elegant.” Jim paused. “I think she’d like that.”“Yep. She probably would.” Leonard scrutinizes his soup. He’d ordered creamy tomato basil but there’s something off about it. Tastes more like Creamy Tomato Rosemary, which he doesn’t care for at all.“I should want to make her happy with this, right?”Leonard makes a considering face, doing a mini shrug, more like a face shrug, if that’s possible. “Well, sure, if you can. Most try to, anyway.”Jim looks mopey. “There’s always eloping. Just, you know, dashing off to Vegas.”“Instead of dashing through the snow?” Leonard smirks.“Yeah. Not sure that’s ideal though. Loud and messy and…”“Sort of sinful.”“Right. The opposite of elegant.”“Maybe you just shouldn’t worry so much about what she thinks.”“Well, but this is for her. I don’t care about any of this. We’re already—”“Then why all the fuss at all?” Leonard asks.“Because I agreed to get married on Earth.” Jim holds his face in his hands. “I sure as hell don’t know why now.”“Twue wove.”“Oh, sure. Go ahead and mock me, Bones.”“Why is the doctor mocking you, Captain?”Jim’s face lights up like the stars itself as Spock joins them. He scoots over to give Spock room to sit beside him even though there’s tons of room next to Leonard.“What do you think about a Christmas wedding?” Jim asks instead of answering. “I know you don’t do Christmas.”“True but whatever the two of you plan is fine by me. It is the two of you who want this.”Jim sighs. “I was thinking snow and white fur.” He glances at Spock. “Fake fur.”“Snow?”“Sounds festive right? I mean I know desert dweller but—”“Jim, I have nothing to say. As I said, this is up to the two of you.”“No opinion at all?”“None.”Leonard sees that Jim is beginning to get annoyed. Wonders if the alarm bells are going off in that Vulcan head.Danger, Danger
Red Alert, my friend.
“You are going to show up, aren’t you?”Spock frowns, because, Leonard guesses, he finally notices that he is on thin ice here. “Of course, Jim. I merely meant that you are planning this to please your mother. In my view, we are already husbands due to our ceremony on New Vulcan.”“Hm.”“Jim, I would marry you in any ceremony you deem necessary. Klingon—”“Klingon? Do you know what they do in those?”“As an example,” Spock says. “The point being you are mine and if you need several weddings to prove that, I am amiable.”“Okay.” Jim nods. “Christmas Snow Wedding it is then.”Leonard notices Spock’s shudder. But if Jim does, he ignores it.Jim leans over instead and kisses his husband. He pulls back and smiles. “I’ll let Mom know.”Spock inclines his head. “As you wish.”Leonard knows Spock will be saying that a lot to Jim. The Vulcan is quite wrapped around Jim’s finger. They all are, really. He sighs, shakes his head and smiles.
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When Jim steps outside of HQ onto the streets of San Francisco, he realizes he has forgotten that it’s the Christmas season. Around him everywhere are decorations. Holly, garland, reindeer, tinsel, red bows. Everything that seems ubiquitous with Christmas.It’s strange how he forgot and yet, well, he was busy. Dealing with Nero and the Narada. Saving Earth (but not Vulcan). Getting promoted to Captain. Weird how he goes from hated cheater Cadet to Captain of the Enterprise. Jim doesn’t think anyone else has ever done it. He should be proud of that but…And it’s not that he has anyone at all to spend it with.Frank’s gone, thankfully, and hardly missed by anyone, and in a way that’s sad, but Jim supposes had Frank wanted to be missed when he was gone, he should have lived a better life. Sam is…Jim doesn’t know. His mom doesn’t know either and the two of them have come to accept that.Honest.And as for his mom, she’s on the planet, er, Morose, no that’s not it, Montrose 4, something like that. Surveying something.Jim currently has no significant other. Or insignificant for that matter.He just manages not to jump when he feels a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it from behind. He turns and offers a smile to Bones.“Hey. Merry Christmas.”“Merry Christmas. And congratulations, Captain.” Jim’s sure he’s far too sensitive and reading way too much into things but the way Bones says it reminds him of the nasty sarcastic way Uhura had said it on the Enterprise. She was nicer after it all but still…and Bones’ tone smarts somehow.“Thanks,” he says, softly. He knows not to give any of this turmoil inside him away. “Where are you off to?” Because something in his friend’s stance leads him to believe he’s going somewhere.Bones smiles. “Got a date. Going to have Christmas Eve dinner over at her place.”Jim falters for a second, realizing he didn’t even now it was actually the 24th. Hmm.Bones is watching him now and Jim knows his face has given away too much after all.“You, uh, want to come with me? I’m sure you’ll be welcome.”And Jim is sure he’ll be far from welcome no matter what Bones says. He refuses to be that pathetic in any case.“Oh no. No. I’ve got…somewhere to be myself.”Bones seems brightened by the lie and doesn’t even question it, so Jim knows he did the right thing. He pats his friend’s arm.“Have a good time, Bones. See you after the holiday, okay?”“Sure. You bet. You can’t get rid of me, kid.”Bones gives him a brief hug before hurrying away, throwing a “Merry Christmas” over his shoulder as he goes.Behind him the doors to HQ open again and Jim wishes he hadn’t looked, because out comes Spock and Uhura. He withdraws against the building’s shadow, so they don’t seem him. He’s really not in the mood for them. Uhura links her arm with Spock’s and they walk in the other direction from where Jim stands.“Dodged that one,” he murmurs out loud.Jim doesn’t know why, but he turns and begins walking toward the hotel that generally temporarily houses Federation dignitaries. He’s heard that Ambassador Spock whom he met on Delta Vega is staying there and Jim suddenly finds himself with an urge to go there and see him.Spock might not even be there, Jim guesses, he’s not sure when the older Vulcan is taking off to do…well, whatever. And if he is there, he may have company. He’s a fascinating person and likely has a million visitors.Jim manages to sweet talk the hotel clerk to learn the floor and room number for Ambassador Spock. And before he can talk himself out of it, he rides the lift up to the sixth floor and knocks on number 675.If he got the wrong room, he’s going to be embarrassed. He probably will be anyway because the elder Spock will probably think he’s nuts.It takes a little long for the door to open and Jim almost leaves, tail metaphorically between his legs, when it finally does.“Jim?”And he’s actually relieved that it’s the Vulcan himself who opens the door and not…well whoever.“Hi.” The word is far from brilliant, but he finds himself kind of tongue-tied. The old man looks good, better than he had on Delta Vega. He’s wearing this big fluffy robe, like an Earth bathrobe rather than Vulcan attire, and his steel gray hair looks damp.Spock looks behind him, like he expects someone other than Jim, and when he doesn’t see anyone, he finally says, “Come in.”“I don’t want to interrupt anything.” But he absolutely does and anyway he steps inside the hotel room, suite really, anyway.He’s even more relieved yet when the hotel room seems to be empty save for Spock.“Clearly you are not. I was in the shower, my apologies for the delay.”“No, sorry. I mean I came unannounced.”He can see Spock is a little puzzled as to why he’s here but is too polite to ask.“I, uh. I had nowhere else to-to be-to go, I mean.” Jim sighs. “It’s Christmas Eve.”“Yes.”“Though I’m guessing that’s not exactly something you care about.”Spock inclines his head. “My mother was Jewish, though not really practicing.”Jim nods, moistens his lips with his tongue. “Sometimes we acknowledged it and sometimes not. Frank thought…”“Frank thought?”Jim shakes his head. “It was frivolous and lame. When it was just him with us instead of Mom, he wouldn’t let us do anything for it. He was my stepfather. He’s gone now.”“And your friends?”“Gone too. I mean, doing their own thing, I guess. I don’t know. I didn’t really want to bother anyone. And then I thought about you and…the meld you did with me on Delta Vega.”“Have you eaten?”“No. I’m kind of…” He almost said starving but that’s not really true, as he knows about that. “Hungry.”“Sit, Jim. We can order room service.”“Yeah?”Spock smiles slightly. “Yes.”And so Jim sits on the little sofa in the sitting area of the suite and Spock sits beside him on the little two-seater, and hands him a PADD that has the hotel room service menu.Jim smiles at Spock. He smells good, Jim thinks, and for some reason his pulse races. He looks away to the menu.“Order what you wish. Since it is Christmas Eve perhaps you wish some festive dishes.”Jim notes they do have some listed. For some reason this excites him. He ends up ordering way too much. Egg nog, cookies, sweet breads, chestnuts, cheeses, crackers, nuts. Just so many things and Spock encourages him.When it arrives, he laughs. “I’ll never eat all this. What was I thinking?”“It’s fine, Jim. We will share.”And they do, in rather companionable silence. It doesn’t feel awkward at all and that makes Jim very happy.When he’s finally had enough, he turns to Spock with a smile. “Thanks. For this. And for not throwing me out.”“There is no way I would ever do so. You are always absolutely welcome with me.”He thinks about the other Spock and how much he hates Jim. Spock seems to know what he’s thinking, because he says, “I believe eventually you will form a positive relationship with my counterpart, Jim.”Jim doesn’t question how Spock knew where his thoughts were. There were plenty of things he doesn’t get about Vulcans.“I don’t think that will happen. I’m pretty sure I’m never going to see him again.”“Why do you say that, Jim?”He shrugs. “I’ve heard through others from the Enterprise he plans to be part of the rebuilding of the Vulcan race. I can’t even blame him for that. So yeah, whatever you had with the me from your universe, that’s not going to happen here.”Spock places his hand on Jim’s. “We shall see.”They change the subject then and after sharing tea, Spock brings up what Jim said when he first arrived.“I was, uh, wondering if we might do another meld. Between us. Or will, will that cause you pain?”“It will not. But the last one we did, it seemed to cause you discomfort. Are you certain?”“Maybe some,” Jim admits. “You had a lot of emotional pain.”“As did you,” Spock tells him, which startles him.“You – you could get that from me?”“Yes. A normal meld between us would not necessarily cause you the same discomfort. I am willing to try if you wish. But…I am curious as to why you request it.”Jim wonders the same, but he remembers seeing other things beside what happened with Romulus.“When you touched my mind, I…I saw some thing that made me curious.”“Oh?”Jim laughs. “I think maybe there was more to you and Jim then you’ve admitted to?” He lowers his gaze and blushes a bit. “Or am I wrong?”“Jim, look at me.”Jim does.“You are not wrong.”Spock places his hand on Jim’s face, spreading out as he had before. He speaks the words and suddenly his mind is joined with Jim’s.The experience is not like the first meld at all, instead it’s joyful, comforting, warm, and unexpectedly loving. Jim feels euphoric.He isn’t sure how long the meld lasts, but pretty soon he finds himself in Spock’s lap and they are kissing.Jim pulls back when he needs to breath, his eyes shining and searching Spock’s, and what he sees convinces himself this is right, this is wanted on both sides and he returns to kissing.****In the morning, Jim wakes up in the older Spock’s bed. It had been an unexpected night of passion, and while Jim suspects Spock viewed him as a substitute for the Jim he really wanted, Jim is okay with that. That Jim could not be around for this Spock anymore. And Jim knew he would never have this with young Spock. He really believed he would never see that Spock again.Jim can smell coffee and cinnamon rolls. He gets out of the bed and seeks out Spock and the scents.“Good morning Jim.”Spock is in his fluffy robe, pouring coffee from an urn and there beside the urn on a tray from room service were the cinnamon rolls.It’s the best Christmas Jim can ever recall and he knows he will remember it always, no matter what else life brings him.He accepts the coffee gratefully with a smile.“Good morning.”And it is.
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“I wasn’t aware you were that fond of the Terran holiday season, Captain.”The words startle Jim out of reverie, both because of the actual content and because Spock is calling him captain again.He’s asked Spock to come with him to Riverside between their five-year missions, because everything has changed between them. Jim never thought it would, but it has, which makes him happier than he thought he could ever be.Spock asks him this because Jim is currently staring into a picture window of a store in the city proper. It is a Christmas display with Santa and his reindeer and a few other scenes. They are walking back from having dinner at a little restaurant. It’s snowing lightly but it’s nothing to Jim, though he notes that Spock seems a bit cold. He’s probably lingered here longer than he should for Spock’s sake.He meets Spock’s gaze and smiles. “Sometimes yes and sometimes no.”“Do you wish to go into the store to purchase celebratory items?”They haven’t been a thing for long. Just a few months. The first month was just a lot of kissing and frottage and not much else. It was everything now. Literally everything to Jim. There would be no going back from Spock, so if he ever changed his mind, Jim would be alone.“If you don’t mind?”It might be fun, Jim thought. A few silly things.“I do not.”Jim knows Spock must be cold for he takes Jim’s arm, like a sweetheart would do, and leads him into the store. He never imagined Spock would be openly affectionate, but he is. Small things like this.Jim chooses an old-fashioned Santa Clause figurine, a sleigh and reindeer to go with it, and some snowflakes to hang from the ceiling. He is surprised when Spock ultimately suggests they get a tree on display in the store, ornaments and lights included. Somehow, they get the whole thing back to the farmhouse without dislodging a single decoration. Spock sets up the tree by the fireplace and Jim sets out everything else.As they stand back together, Jim’s arm around Spock, Spock asks, “What was your favorite Christmas?”Jim tenses at first because the one he is thinking of, well, he never told anyone about, not even Bones. He’s not sure Spock will understand, but now that he’s being asked, he doesn’t want to lie either.Jim clears his throat, aware Spock is watching him quite closely.“It was the Christmas right after Nero,” he says softly. “I had just been given the ship, but in all honesty, I’d never felt so lonely.”“I’m sorry, Jim.”He nods. “I hadn’t a single thing to do. Bones went off with a date. You and Uhura were still together, and I thought I wouldn’t see you again, anyway, and so I went to see…” He takes a big breath. “Ambassador Spock.”“My counterpart?”He asks the question almost on a whisper and to Jim’s relief, there’s no judgment in his tone, at least not yet.“Yeah. I was thinking about the meld he’d done with me on Delta Vega and about what some of the things I’d seen there meant, and so I went to his hotel.”“I did not realize.”Jim smiles and shakes his head. “No one does. I never told anyone, I don’t think he did either. Anyway, we got all kinds of holiday food and ate and talked, and then he melded with me after I asked.”“It was my understanding you felt that first meld with him was unpleasant.”Jim turns in Spock’s arms. Mostly because Spock turns him, arms wrapped firmly around Jim’s waist now and he appreciates the support.“Kind of, but my curiosity was stronger.”“What did you see, ashaya?”Jim loves it when Spock calls him endearments. They mean so much more coming from him than anyone.“Their relationship. They were lovers, then mates, husbands.”Spock nods. “I did not realize it back then, but after the objects presented to me after his passing, I surmised that it was quite likely.”“Yes. Well, after we melded on Christmas Eve, we experienced our own level of intimacy.”Spock stares at him, but Jim still sees no judgment. “You were lovers?”“Yes. Just for that night and on Christmas. The day after he left to establish the Vulcan colony. We kept in touch…for a while. But never met in person again.” Jim feels a lump in his throat. “When he passed, I hadn’t been in touch for more than a year. Nor had he, I guess. I think that Christmas we were both what we each needed.”Spock raised his hand and cupped Jim’s cheek gently. “I am gratified that you could give each other solace, even if it was for a short time. I am aware of my own insensitivities toward your deeper feelings for far too long.”Jim smiles and leans in to kiss him. “That wasn’t your fault, Spock. You were with someone else. Anyway, I have you now.”“You very much do,” Spock agrees. “The depth of my love for you takes my breath away, T’hy’la.”Jim’s smile widens and he turns his face to gaze at the lighted tree. “Anyway, you asked what my favorite Christmas was. And that was it.” He looked back at Spock’s face, gazed into his beautiful dark eyes. “I think this Christmas might be my new favorite.”As Spock goes to kiss him, he murmurs, “I will ensure it.”
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“Spock, what are you doing here?”Spock was surprised by the sharp tone he detected in Nyota’s question. He had just sat down at a table at an outdoor café where Nyota sat with a couple of friends.“You invited me,” he explained, thinking it was obvious.She stared at him. “What about…Jim?”Jim, of course, referred to Spock’s recently acquired boyfriend. He had mentioned being invited to the café and had even asked Jim if he’d like to come.“He declined to come. Prior to your invitation, Jim had planned to stay home today to watch holiday movies while eating eggnog ice cream and gingerbread men, and consuming peppermint mochas. When I told him about this invitation he wanted to continue his original plan.”Now Nyota was bugging her eyes out at him.“Oh no.” She looked at her friends and smiled. “Would you two, um, go get me a refill on my drink?”Spock was puzzled as it appeared her drink was full but her friends hurried away so perhaps they knew better than Spock did.“Spock, you-you don’t…cancel plans your boyfriend was looking forward to in order to go out with your friends.”“But Jim said he did not mind.”She laughed. “Honey, he minds. He was planning on this. With you, right?”“Well. He did ask me, yes, but he said—”“Whatever he said, pay that no mind. You have a lot to learn about humans, Spock. Now you go right back to Jim and sit there watching holiday movies with him. Or you’ll definitely be sorry later.”Spock did begin to feel a bit uneasy. Jim had smiled when he said to go ahead but it was a rather strange smile. He rose.“And pick him up a present along the way!” Nyota called after him.****When Spock knocked on Jim’s door, there was no immediate answer and he became more worried. But then slowly the door opened and one blue eye peered out at him.“Spock?”“I have come to watch merriment with you.”Jim opened the door fully and stared at Spock. He wore his pajamas, Spock noted, and there was a touch of red around his eyes Spock did not like.“You said—”“Forget what I said. I was a fool.” Spock held up the giant Santa sugar cookie he had bought at the bakery on the way there. It was covered in glittery red sanding sugar. “I have bought you a cookie. May I come in?”Jim smiled, grabbed Spock’s hand, and pulled him inside. “Of course you can. I’m just getting started. Come on.” He kissed Spock quite thoroughly. His cheeks were faintly pink. “I’m so glad you’re here.”“As am I, Jim.” He was led to the sofa and as they started the first movie, Spock did not let go of Jim’s hand.
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“How are you feeling, Jim?”Jim grimaced. “Like anyone would when they were stuck in the hospital on Christmas Eve.”Bones patted his arm. “I know and I’m sorry. I just think it’s better to keep you here for a few days. Observe you.”“What exactly is wrong with me? I feel fine now.”Jim had been fine. Going about his business in San Francisco, headed into HQ when he just…collapsed.“Looks like…I don’t know. All your vitals are normal now, Jim. But you had some kind of reaction, almost a rejection of Khan’s blood.”“After all this time? Bones, it’s been years.”“I know. Doesn’t make any sense. And while you are fine, I don’t trust those findings until I thoroughly check out every last scenario or evidence for what happened. And it sucks I know, but there it is.”Bones thrust a large cup at him. “To make things a little better, I brought you a pumpkin shake.”Jim took it and even managed a tiny smile. “Thanks. How about visitors?”“Nope.”“Bones—”“Your immunity might be compromised, Jim. I don’t want to take any chances.” Bones hesitated. “I may have a surprise for you later.”“A surprise? Bones, I don’t like surprises.”“You’ll like this one.”“Then tell me. Make it my Christmas present.”“It is your Christmas present, but in case I can’t make it happen, just…wait.”Jim sighed and fidgeted with his blanket before taking a big sip with his straw of the pumpkin shake. “At least this is good. Bring me some Christmas music or something.”Bones smirked. “Aye, aye, Captain.”Luckily for Jim, perhaps for Bones, now that Jim thought about it, not only did Bones supply him with Christmas songs, but also a little tree with decorations and a small handheld screen to watch holiday movies on.Sure, it still sucked being in the hospital with no real answers as to why he collapsed in the first place, but it could have been much worse, and Jim knew it.He was fully engrossed in one of his favorite renditions of Ebenezer Scrooge getting his lesson from three spirits when suddenly he felt awareness begin at the top of his head and flow down his body.Eyes wide, he set aside the little screen after hitting pause.Then the door to his room opened and in stepped…“Spock!”“T’hy’la,” Spock greeted him, hurrying over to pull him close. “You gave me quite the scare.”“Sorry. How-are you my Christmas present from Bones?”Spock pulled away only slightly. “I am.”He sat on the edge of the bed and took both of Jim’s hands in his.“But you said you couldn’t make it back to Earth for the holidays. You were too busy.”“That was before your somewhat theatrical collapse.”“It wasn’t intentional, honey, I swear.”“I know and I am relieved to see you are as well as you are. I had to rearrange many things on New Vulcan, but here I am. And I am not leaving you again for a very long time.”“If that’s ever, you’ve got yourself a deal.” Jim smiled. He loved the feel of Spock’s hands in his.“I am concerned for your welfare.”“I know but Bones is doing tests. We’ll figure it out. I feel good. Great even. Better than ever now that you’re here. Join me on the bed and finish watching my movie with me.”Spock gave him an indulgent look, but he did as Jim requested and drew Jim close into his arms as Jim restarted A Christmas Carol.He was right to the part where the Ghost of Christmas said to Scrooge,“There is never enough time to do or say all the things that we would wish. The thing is to try to do as much as you can in the time you have.”Jim turned his head to gaze at Spock, Spock felt his gaze and looked at Jim. Jim smiled and kissed him. Maybe being in the hospital was tolerable.
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“Oh my God.”Spock glanced at his captain. His boyfriend, Spock amended in his mind. Of six months now.“Could it be any hotter? It’s like two days before Christmas for heaven’s sake.”Spock acknowledged Jim looked exceedingly hot and uncomfortable. He was sweating profusely, his uniform marked by large wet patches. His face was alarmingly red too.“I do not believe Dioxie 3 recognizes Christmas.”Jim ignored him, predictably. “Man if I was back in Riverside it might be snowing.” He leaned against a large tree and panted. Wiped his brow. “How are you not dying?”“A Vulcan’s temperature—”Jim suddenly doubled over clenching his stomach. “Damn. Ugh.”“Jim!” Spock rushed to him. “You do not look good.”“I feel kind of faint.”Spock took out his communicator. “Spock to Enterprise. Two to beam up immediately.”****Spock tensed only slightly when Leonard’s hand clasped his shoulder. He had definitely gotten used to the Human need for physical contact. Between his past with Nyota and his present and future with Jim, he’d had to.“It’s all right, Spock. Just a nasty bout of heat exhaustion. We weren’t prepared enough for those burning temperatures there. Or I wasn’t. If I had been, I could have given Jim a shot to help with it. He just needs rest and hydration. Extra care. I’m going to keep him here in the medbay for another night, maybe two.” Spock nodded, his gaze fixed on Jim who was lying on his back, staring at the ceiling.“And you are sure?”“I’m sure. Could have been much worse if he’d gone into heat stroke. We got to him in time.” Leonard smiled. “I’ll be in to see him in a bit with some food. You can have a few minutes with him.”Spock offered Leonard his gratitude, and then went over to Jim’s side. “Jim?”Jim’s gaze shifted to Spock and he gave Spock a ghost of his usual smile. “Hey.”“How do you feel?”“Okay. A bit weak I guess, but mostly a lot better.”“The doctor will be bringing you food soon.”“Good.”“Are you sad?” Spock asked him, after observing Jim for a moment longer.“Yeah. I mean, it’s Christmas and I’m in the hospital. It kind of reminds me a bit of the past.”“How so?”Jim shrugged. “When…when I got off Tarsus IV, it was this time of year, you know, and for a long time they kept me in the hospital, to get my strength back. This feels like that. Just a little.”Spock held Jim’s hand. “I understand, but I assure you it is not, and you will be out soon.”Jim’s smile was more genuine this time. “I know.”****A bit later, and with permission from Leonard and the rest of the medical staff, as well as some necessary crew members, and the admiralty, Spock returned to Jim’s side.He was sitting up now and looking much better. He’d recently had eggnog ice cream, he’d told Spock.“Jim, I have something to ask you.”“Ask me?”Spock nodded, and took both of Jim’s hands in his. “Would you rather get married right now in the medbay with all of our friends as witnesses or wait until some other time in the future?”Jim stared, wide-eyed. “Spock?”Behind him Leonard snorted. He had just come in, followed by Nyota, Sulu, Chekov, Scott, and Keenser.“Well, kid?” Leonard demanded.“Uh.” Jim sucked in a breath. “Now?”“Excellent answer, Cap’n.” Scott said, then he held up a device and pushed the button.Snow, artificial, of course, began to fall lightly on Jim and Spock.Jim looked up in wonder. “How…?”“Mr. Scott’s ingenuity,” Spock explained.He watched as Jim looked around and saw that the crew, Nyota mostly, had brought with them a decorated Christmas tree. Nyota set it upon a nearby table.“A Christmas wedding?”Spock nodded. “If it pleases you.”Jim grinned. “It does. But who’s going to marry us?”“Keenser. He is, apparently, authorized in ten galaxies.”Jim laughed. “Always learning something new about him, I guess.”Spock leaned down to kiss Jim, eyes shining. “Are you ready then?”“A thousand times yes.”And their friends drew near, Keenser stepping closer, and Admiral Barrett onscreen to witness it too. Snow falling and whimsy everywhere.“One more thing, Jim.”“Yes?”“Would you rather bond with me now or later in our quarters?”“Our quarters?”Spock nodded. “They are being set up right now.”Jim beckoned Spock closer and then as Spock leaned down, Jim whispered, “Later. When you claim me.”Spock shivered and straightened. “Let us begin.”