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Jared stares at the blank yearbook form in front of him. Senior Memories. He has none. Well, none worth mentioning. Yes, he's student council president but no one ran against him so the election was less than dramatic. He's not a jock, he's not a band geek or a drama nerd, he's just...him. Nothing exciting happens to him.He watches the clique of popular kids sneak out the side doors and head for their cars. They skip class nearly every day to hang at the beach. Today, Jared decides to go with them. He'll cut class and party with his classmates at the beach. His hand is on the push bar of the door when he hears Principal Richards call his name. He turns around with a sigh. "Yes?""I need to see you in my office. My secretary has those scholarship forms ready for you.""Yes, sir." Jared throws a forlorn glance over his shoulder at the others driving off and follows the man to the office.

The Porsche Boxster convertible gleaming in front of his neighbor's house distracts Jared so much that he almost crashes the twenty-year-old buick he's driving. He parks, grabs his backpack and walks over for a closer inspection. The Porsche is Jared's dream car, his deepest desire - until he saw the owner.The man walking towards the car from the house is even more breathtaking than the car and Jared stares open mouthed. It figures such a beautiful car would be owned by a god like him. Broad shoulders, firm chest, light brown hair, chiseled cheekbones; the man is gorgeous and Jared is paralyzed by want.When the guy finally notices him, he gives Jared a small polite nod. He lifts a heavy box from the car allowing Jared time to appreciate the flex of muscle and the way the t-shirt clings to his back and shoulders. The man is just as perfect walking away on his slightly bowed legs.Jared wipes his mouth absentmindedly in case he's drooling. Then he's berating himself for being too lame to even say 'hi' and heads to his room to study.

Hours later Jared is so tired from studying he can no longer block out the background noise around him. For a while there had been a steady quick beat of 'whisk, whisk, whisk' but now there's an irregular clanging sound. It's enough to drag Jared away from his computer screen.Whatever it is, it's not coming from inside his house. He goes to his window to try to locate the source just as the clanging stops and the quick 'whisk, whisk, whisk' starts again. There's movement in his neighbor's backyard.Jared's never had reason to gawk out his window before. Ms. Reynolds, his neighbor, is his mom's age and never did anything in her backyard but grow flowers. This guy turned the area into a small home gym. There's a weight bench - the clanging sound, a pull up bar, and an open space where the guy is skipping rope like a boxer 'whisk,whisk,whisk' in rapid succession. The man is shirtless and sweat is gleaming on every perfectly toned muscle the way the sun had shone on the Porsche. Jared whimpers, his hand going unconsciously to his crotch."Jared!" his mother called from the floor below, "dinner!""Coming!" Jared yells back thinking if he'd stay by the window much longer that word would have a different meaning.Now that Jared has a reason to spy out his bedroom window, he's an addict. He's praying to get another glimpse of the adonis next door when his phone interrupts his mission."Yeah?""Jared, dude, are you coming over or what?" Jared's best friend, Chad, demands on the other end of the line."Yeah, uh, I don't know, I've got-""Dude, we're seniors, stop worrying about your grade point and come over. I've got dual screens working and we can watch porn on one while playing x-box on the other.""Chad, you have a serious porn addiction, you need help.""Whatever, man. It's perfectly natural for a young man like me to explore porn in all its varieties." He turns up the volume of the x-rated video he's watching to allow Jared to hear it over the phone.Jared pulls the phone from his ear and scowls at it. "Man, you know how I hate knowing you're watching that stuff while you talk to me."Chad cackles. "I'm always watching porn. Sometimes I allow you to know about it. Are you coming over or what?""Yeah, I - holy shit!" Finally Jared's vigilance is paying off. His neighbor is walking out of the ensuite and into the master bedroom, naked and drying his back with a towel. He tosses the towel aside and turns to a bureau giving Jared a view of him from every angle. "Oh my god." Jared is so mesmerized by the beautiful naked man that he smacks his head into the window pane. "Ow! Fuck!"His neighbor turns and squints in Jared's direction. Too late Jared realizes his window was open and drops to his floor. The neighbor not only may have heard Jared, he may also have seen Jared through his window. "Oh shit, oh shit!""Dude! what is going on?" Chad demands hearing his best friend having some sort of crisis."I think my sexy as fuck neighbor just caught me peeping in his window," Jared whispers.Chad roars with laughter. "Are you serious? You're a peeping Tom? Just how hot is this guy?""Hotter than the fucking sun and I just saw him naked and holy shit dude," Jared whispers as he hears a door slamming. He glances out his window in time to see the guy practically storming over to his house.A moment later the doorbell rings and his father calls him."Fuck, Chad, I'm a dead man," he whines before joining his family and the new neighbor.

Jared can't stop himself from admiring the guy now that he's right there in his house. How he pulled himself together so fast and still look like a fucking model is a mystery to Jared."Jared," his father says, "this is Jensen Ackles. He's house sitting for his aunt while she's on her European cruise. Mr. Ackles, our son, Jared." Jared's parents are smiling and Jared is waiting for Mr. Ackles to tell them about his peeping in the window."Please, call me Jensen." He holds out his hand. When Jared accepts the handshake, he nearly swoons. Up close, the man is even more stunning."What is it you do, Jensen?" Jared's mother asks."I'm a writer. I just sold some work so I'm living off that and my aunt's generosity for the moment. I'm thinking about going back to school in the fall," he replies with a self-deprecating smile."Oh, how nice! Jared does some creative writing," she gushes. "Honey, maybe you could ask Mr. Ackles to read some of your work, you know, have a professional evaluate it."Jared blanches. The only writing he's actually proud of is his Teen Wolf fan fiction and he's definitely not going to share his explicit fantasies with the new neighbor. "I'm sure he doesn't want to read over my homework, Mom."His mom laughs. "I didn't mean your term papers, Jared. I was referring to the work you did in your creative writing class."Jared can feel his neighbor's eyes boring into him and he flushes under the scrutiny. "Uh, I, uh," he stammers."I'd love to evaluate anything of yours, Jared," Jensen smirks as his eyes rake over Jared's body. Then he smiles politely. "Actually, I need someone to show me around. Even with google maps, I got lost in this subdivision." He raises his eyebrows in what appears to be a hopeful invitation to Jared."Um-" Jared remembers the Porsche Boxster and thinks how awesome it would be to ride in it with the world's hottest guy. "I'm free, if you want to go now."Jensen pulls keys from his pocket. "Absolutely, lead the way."

They drive a few minutes with only the radio filling the silence and Jared realizes that Jensen knows his way around perfectly. They get to the access road at the edge of the subdivision and Jared's nerves pick up. His neighbor could kick his ass right here and it would be days before his body would be found."So, Mr. Ackles," Jared begins.Jensen laughs, making Jared want to whimper. "Jared, what did I," he starts but shakes his head and says, "How old are you?""Eighteen. I turned eighteen last month," Jared answers.Jensen's eyebrow raises and he takes another appreciative glance at the young man sitting next to him. "Jared, I'm only twenty," he says slowly. "So call me Jensen, not Mr. Ackles.""Okay," Jared replies nervously.Jensen clears his throat. "Well, Jared, did you like what you saw?""N-no!" he stammers."No?" Jensen repeats sounding doubtful."I mean it's not a big deal."Jensen looks down at his crotch then quirks a brow at Jared. "Not a big deal.""N-no. I mean, I'm sorry. I barely saw anything. I shouldn't have looked but your aunt never had those curtains open and I didn't know what I'd see and I'm sorry," Jared sputters."What are you sorry for exactly? Being a voyeur or liking what you saw?""Um, I don't know. I'm sorry for everything I guess?"Jensen nods and stops the car in the middle of the road. "Take off your clothes.""Excuse me?!""Strip. Get naked. It's only fair."Jared considers it and then begins undressing. He's down to his underwear when Jensen says, "Get out."Jared sees where this is going. As punishment, Jensen is going to make him walk home in his tighty whiteys. "No."Jensen's taken aback for a moment but then he reaches across Jared and opens the door. "Get the fuck out. Stand in the road. I can't see you in here."Jared sighs. There are no houses on this access road. No one will see him but Jensen. It's embarrassing but he figures it's fair, considering he got to see the guy naked. He hops out of the car and walks into the road. "Happy?"He can't see Jensen in the glare of the headlights, but he hears him chuckle, "Not yet." Jensen climbs out of the car and walks behind Jared. "All the way," he whispers into Jared's ear."What?" Jared squeaks."You saw me completely naked. I should get to see you." He sounds innocent enough but Jared hesitates. "Fine," Jensen sighs. "I guess I'll make you walk home." He takes a step towards the car when Jared grabs his arm."Wait. If I strip all the way, that's it? You're not going to take off on me?"Jensen turns to him. "Why would I leave a guy naked and helpless in the street?"Jared takes a breath as a million reasons rush through his mind. But, Jensen is giving him what seems to be a friendly smile so...Jared strips off his underwear. He covers himself with his hands immediately, though.Jensen snags the discarded underwear from the ground and slowly walks around Jared appraising his body. "Damn, son, those big hands of yours are making me curious as to what you're hiding." He winks and is back in the car before Jared realizes it.Jensen pulls away and Jared yells after him. "Hey!"The car slows next to Jared but doesn't stop. "Hop in." Jensen keeps the car just barely moving so Jared has to jog alongside. "Hurry up. You don't want to put an eye out with that thing."As Jared reaches for the door handle Jensen speeds up preventing Jared from climbing in and forcing him to jog faster. "Come on, kid, you're gonna get a ticket for indecent exposure!" he cackles slowing down just to accelerate again.Finally, he slows down enough allowing Jared to dive into the convertible before Jensen drives away. He still laughing while Jared attempts to pull on his clothes. "Can I have my underwear please?""Nope," Jensen laughs, twirling them on his finger out the window.When Jared gets home from school the next day, his mother hands him a box and says, "Jared, would you take this next door? It was delivered here by mistake and I think I heard Jensen's car pull up a few minutes ago."Jared rolls his eyes hoping he looks like the annoyed teen he's supposed to be instead of the eager kid with a crush. "Sure, Mom."Jared rehearses a calm, cool greeting as he waits for Jensen to answer the door, but it evaporates as soon as he sees the man. Jensen is wet. There's a towel draped around his neck and he's wearing a very short, very tight, red swimsuit. "Hey, Jared," he says with a bright warm smile.Jared dies right there and he's sure it would be sad if heaven didn't look like the man in front of him. His eyes follow a lucky drop of water as it makes its way from the dip of Jensen's throat down the center of his chest. Jared wants to lick that drop off him and maybe suck a few more off..."Jared?"Slowly coming out of his lust filled haze Jared says, "Box.""Box?" Jensen looks at the box Jared is holding and asks, "Oh, is that for me?" He reaches to take it from Jared. "Thanks."Jared is barely aware of what he's doing until he feels the box being pulled from his hands. "What?" he blinks. "Oh, yeah, uh, it was delivered to us by mistake.""Well, thanks for bringing it over," Jensen replies still smiling at him.Jared coughs, hoping it covers up the way he was distracted by the half naked man. "Sure, no problem."Jensen grins and says, "Hey, I was just in the hot tub. You wanna join me? Relax away some of that high school stress?""I don't have a suit," he mumbles as his mind jumps straight to a porn scenario. Jensen winks and replies you don't need one and he strips out of the one he's wearing. Jared follows him tugging at his own clothes.Jensen looks confused. "Dude, you live right there," he says pointing to Jared's house. "Go home and get one. Or do you mean you don't own one?"Shaking the personal porn from his mind, Jared replies, "What? Yeah, right, of course. I'll just..." He points over his shoulder to indicate he's going home.Amused, Jensen shakes his head. "I'll be out back if you want to join me."The moment he's sure Jensen can no longer see him, Jared breaks into a run.

Five minutes later Jared is nervously opening the gate to Jensen's patio. Maybe Jensen was simply being polite. He didn't actually want Jared there. Embarrassed at his uncertainty, Jared forces himself to move forward.Jensen is in the hot tub with his head back and his eyes closed. He looks so beautiful and serene that Jared doesn't want to bother him. He just wants to stare, soak it all in, for the rest of his life. Or as long as Jensen would let him. He doesn't know how long he stands there, minutes, months, it doesn't matter, but Jensen finally opens his eyes and smiles at him. "Hey, you made it! Come on in." He sits up and waves Jared over."Thanks for inviting me," Jared replies as he climbs in the hot tub."No problem, man. I remember how stressful high school can be." He points at the seat next to Jared. "Sit there. There's a jet that'll get you right in the lower back. It's awesome."Jared moves and sighs in bliss once that jet hits his back. "Oh my god.""Right, I know. It's so good." Jensen closes his eyes and tilts his head back again as he relaxes.The line of his neck mesmerizes Jared. He wants to touch it, smooth his fingers over it. Kiss and taste the sweat and chlorine on it. "So uh, you staying here all alone or is your girlfriend staying with you?"Jensen chuckles at Jared's obviousness. "No girlfriend.""Oh.""No boyfriend either."Jared's eyes widen. "Oh, okay.""You don't have a problem with me being bi, do you?" Jensen levels a glare at him. Challenging Jared to confess any issue with Jensen's admission."No. No problem," Jared replies hurriedly. After a moment he asks, "Aren't you going to ask me if I'm seeing anybody?"Jensen laughs again. "No."After a few minutes of quiet relaxation Jensen asks, "So, what's the wildest thing you've done your senior year?""You mean besides streaking through my subdivision?"Jensen scoffs. "You didn't go more than ten feet." He sits up to look Jared in the eye. "Seriously, what kind of wild shit do you kids get up to?""I don't really. I guess. I mean I've been working really hard to get into Stanford and to win some scholarships." Jared shrugs. "I'm not that wild.""Stanford? Wow. That's impressive."Again Jared shrugs. "It's always been my dad's dream that I go there."Jensen's eyes narrow at that answer. "Where do you want to go?""I don't know. I don't even know if I want to go to college, but I don't want to let him down."Jensen hums in understanding. After a moment he adds, "Well you only have one senior year. You should do something to make it memorable.""Yeah people say that, but I just want to get through it."Jensen studies him for a minute. "Maybe you just need someone to inspire you, to motivate you to expand your horizons and shit.""Yeah, that would be good.""Hmm, she would have to be cute.""Or he," Jared suggests hoping that he doesn't sound too eager.Jensen smiles softly. "And have a good sense of humor.""Definitely." Jared's heart races as Jensen's smile widens. Jared's eyes fall to Jensen's lips and he wants to be kissing them. As if reading Jared's mind, Jensen drags his teeth over his bottom lip. Jared shifts in his seat. If he's going to make a move, now is the perfect time.-Ding-Jensen turns his attention to Jared's phone which is resting on the deck next to them and it dings again. "Are you going to get that?"The moment is gone and Jared sighs in disappointment, reluctantly dragging his gaze from Jensen's features. "Yeah." He reads the text. "It's my mom. Dinner's in ten minutes.""Guess you'll be going then.""You could join us."Jensen shakes his head. "No. I don't want to intrude.""It's no bother. My mom always makes enough to feed an army.""Some other time." He stands and steps out of the hot tub handing Jared a towel before taking one for himself. "Thanks for hanging out. Maybe we can do it again sometime.""Yeah. Okay," Jared replies hating himself for sounding so eager.Thursday, at lunch, Jared watches a group of seniors sneak out the back door and head for their cars. The sun is shining and it's in the low 80's. It's a perfect day to be outside. He wishes he was like them and could skip out nonchalantly, head to the beach instead of trigonometry. He'd loved to have a burger from that place on the boardwalk instead of the tuna melt surprise in the cafeteria.He sits next to his best friend and says quietly, "Chad, you wanna skip out?"Chad coughs, his eyes wide. "Skip out? Yeah, I want to, but I won't.""Why not?" Jared whines."Because unlike them," he points out the window to the kids that are leaving, "We'd get caught and I don't want to spend the end of my senior year in suspension. There's no a.c. and worse no wifi."Jared sighs. Chad's right, with his luck he would get caught. Suspension would probably mean no scholarships. He won't risk it, even on a day as perfect as this one. He wistfully looks back to the parking lot and takes a bite of his food. He instantly regrets it.He gets up to turn in his tray when the school nurse taps him on the shoulder. "Jared, dear, I'm sorry, but you're needed in the office. There seems to be some sort of family emergency."Jared looks shocked but Chad just shrugs and continues to eat.

As he follows the nurse to the office, Jared fumbles with his phone. He hasn't missed any calls or texts so what is going on? He is more confused when he sees Jensen in the office. Jensen smiles briefly then his face becomes almost tearfully serious. "Jared, hey, I'm so sorry to be the one to tell you this, but Grandma, um, Great-Grandma, passed this morning. Your mom and my mom and all our cousins are gathering at her place. I was sent to get you." He pulls Jared into a hug and sniffs. "I know how hard this must be for you. You were so close to her."Jared buries his face in Jensen's neck to hide his smile. "We all were.""Oh, Jared honey, take the rest of the day off. I'll be sure to have your teachers excuse you," the nurse says patting both of them on their shoulders.
Once in the parking lot Jensen says, "Do you have a car here?""No, my friend Chad picked me up.""Cool." Jensen pulls his keys from his pocket. "Wanna drive?" he asks tossing the keys to Jared."Really?!" Jared catches the keys."Sure, man. Just don't wreck her."Jared carefully climbs into the driver's seat, dumping his bag into the back. He adjusts the mirrors and caresses the steering wheel before turning the key. He blushes when he notices Jensen shaking his head at him. "So, uh, where do you want to go?""Don't care." Jensen tilts his seat back so he's basking in the sun. "It's just too nice to be cooped up. I had to break you out."Jared unabashedly stares at Jensen's profile and can't speak for a moment."I know!" Jensen sits up abruptly and grins at him. "Let's hit the boardwalk and play those stupid games and eat a ton of trashy food!"Jared face lights up even more. "Yeah, that sounds awesome."Going to the boardwalk means driving along the coast and Jared relishes every moment of it. The car is as exquisite as he imagined and handles like it's a part of him. Jensen seems relaxed and happy and that alone is enough to keep Jared in a great mood.They play skee-ball and air hockey in the open air arcade then move onto the carnival games. Jensen wins a giant stuffed dog at the milkcan game but gives it to a little girl so they don't have to carry it around.At the three point basketball game Jared wins a tiny teddy bear which makes Jensen laugh until Jared gives it to him. Then he accepts it with an amused eye roll and carries it in his back pocket the rest of the day.Jared has lost all track of time but this has been the best day of his life. Except for maybe the chilli dog he ate. He thinks that may have been a mistake. But spending time with Jensen has been incredible. Jared's face hurts from smiling and laughing so much.The sun is low in the sky making everything a soft gold. Jared wants to take it all in, to memorize the moment. Everything is perfect and if he could just hold on to this he would be happy. Jensen nudges his arm. "Hey, what's up? You're a million miles away."Jared smiles and shakes his head. "Nothing, I'm just," he turns to Jensen who is standing close enough to touch and looking at him expectantly. Jared wants to kiss him. A kiss would make this day the best day of his life no contest. "Thanks for today. This was great."Jensen's eyes focus briefly on Jared's lips as he speaks softly and smiles. "I'm glad. I had fun, too."Jared leans closer. This is it. He's going to kiss Jensen. Jared's first real kiss….but what if Jensen doesn't like him like that. Jared straightens up and the moment is over. He tells himself it's better this way because if Jensen didn't want a kiss it would have ruined this perfect day.Jensen sighs. "We should get going. Traffic's not so bad now." He starts walking to the car and Jared follows silently, too busy wondering about kissing Jensen to say anything.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Jared doesn't see Jensen again until Saturday afternoon. He had spent all of Thursday night and Friday thinking about him, though. He thought about Jensen's laugh, sometimes it was this giggle and other times the guy nearly bent in half laughing. Jared loves both equally. When Jensen smiled he'd get these crinkles by his eyes that Jared knows is a real smile. He warms as he remembers the weight of Jensen's body pressed against his as they rode the Swizzler. But the memory of Jensen in the golden sunlight and his missed chance haunt him the most. The "what if" of it all tortures him constantly.
Now Jared is trying to concentrate on a scholarship essay. It's not easy. He wants to look out his window for Jensen, but he knows that's creepy. Instead, he forces himself to focus on writing an essay to help him get into a school he cares nothing about.A soft knock on his bedroom door is a welcome interruption. "Come in, Mom," Jared calls over his shoulder still tapping away at his keyboard."Not your mom, but I hope it's okay I come in anyway," Jensen says as he shuts the door behind him.Jared spins in his desk chair, crashing it into his desk, knocking his laptop into some papers and spilling them onto the floor. "Yeah, hey, Jensen, of course you can come in. What's up? What's going on?" His words come out as one quick babble.Jensen smiles shyly at Jared's excited babbling. "Nothing. I was bored. Wanted to see what you were up to." He picks up the papers that fell to floor. "This what you're working on?""Yeah. Scholarship essay for Stanford. They want to know about a life changing event, only I haven't had one so?" he shrugs. "Worst essay ever.""Want me to read over what you've got?" Jensen offers.Jared shows him the nearly blank computer screen. "Let me know if you need help with the big words."Jensen laughs at the bad joke and pats Jared's shoulder. "Don't worry. It'll come to you." He looks around Jared's room and sees a picture of a man surrounded by dozens of little kids. They're holding a sign that reads: Thank You Wakefield High School. "What's this?"Jared blushes and takes the picture from Jensen. "That's the Jacmel Children's Center in Haiti. We raised thirty thousand dollars to build it after the hurricane destroyed the city and those kids were left orphans.""Who's 'we'?" Jensen asks.Jared shrugs. "Well me, I guess, but my classmates, too, a little bit.""But you raised most of it?" Jensen asks sounding impressed.Jared puts the picture back on his desk. "It was nothing, really. I liked doing it."Jensen taps the paper on Jared's desk. "That's what you should write about."Jared's brow furrows. "That didn't change my life.""Jared, you changed the life of all those kids with what you did. That's amazing. Not every applicant can say that. That is what you write about. Trust me."Still looking unsure Jared says, "Okay," and sits back down at his desk."That doesn't help me, though. I'm still bored. Where's some of that creative writing your mother was talking about?" Jensen lays back on Jared's bed."No, nope, not gonna happen," Jared laughs but is momentarily struck dumb at the sight of Jensen on his bed. "You know, I can write this later.""What? No!" Jensen springs up on the bed. "Write it now. Jared, you deserve that scholarship. All those kids have better lives because of you. That's incredible and if the scholarship people can't see how amazing you are, then they don't deserve you at that school.""But -""But nothing. Write. Don't worry about me. I'll," he pauses as he looks around Jared's room, eyes landing on Jared's bookshelf. He pulls a paperback off the shelf, "read A Farewell to Arms." He smiles at Jared and sits on the floor with his back against the bed and opens the book.Now that he has inspiration, it takes Jared less than thirty minutes to finish his essay. He prints out a copy and leaves it with his other college forms on his desk.He busies himself with shuffling the papers for a second because Jensen is hanging out in his room! Jensen came over to his house and waited for him to finish his essay and is reading in his room! Chad never hung out like that and he's known Chad since sixth grade.Jared clears his throat. He doesn't want to bother Jensen but at the same time he'd rather do something other than watching him read. "I finished my essay."Jensen grins up at him. "Cool. Can I keep this? I haven't read it since high school and I forgot how it ends.""Of course.""Thanks." Jensen pushes himself to his feet. "I can look over your essay if you want. I'm really good at grammar."Jared bites his lip suddenly shy about Jensen reading his work. "Okay." He hands over the printed copy, nervously awaiting judgment."This is good, Jared. I like this part where you write about seeing your hard work pay off. You need a comma there." He points and hands it back to a blushing Jared. "Wanna go see a movie? There's a Hitchcock festival at the Majestic."Jared swallows dryly and squeaks out "yeah, okay" and desperately wonders if this is a date.
They're settled in their theater seats with a giant tub of popcorn when Jared's phone buzzes a text. Then it buzzes repeatedly for a minute. He glances at the screen long enough to see that Chad wants him to come over to play games. He shuts his phone off and tucks it into his pocket."You have plans, don't you? Why didn't you say something? I don't want to monopolize your time, Jared," Jensen whispers."I didn't. I don't," Jared assures him. "That was just my friend Chad. He wants me to come over and play video games.""Oh." Jensen studies Jared's face for a minute. "We can go there after the movie if you want."Jared grins. "That'd be cool."
"Dude." is all Chad can say as he watches Jensen walk into the room."I know.""Dude," Milo repeats.And again Jared says, "I know."Milo grabs Jared's arm. "No. I mean I don't even swing that way and that guy is making me reconsider my life choices."Chad nods. "Yeah. I'm suddenly leaning waaay over to the homo on my bi spectrum.""You guys don't even know," Jared replies with a small shake of his head.They play for a couple of hours and Jared thinks Jensen is having fun. He's smiling and laughing but Jared can't figure out why Jensen would want to hang out with his friends.When Chad wins - again, Jensen asks, "You guys want to get some food? I'm starving.""I could eat," Milo says dropping the game remote on the couch."Yeah, me too," Chad says then looks at Jared."Great, where do we go?" Jared asks.Jensen stands up. "I know a place." He pulls out his phone and scrolls for something. "Yeah, come on. This should be perfect."

They won't fit in Jensen's car so Chad offers to drive while Jensen navigates. His directions don't lead to a restaurant. Instead, he tells Chad to park in front of a large house in the next subdivision. "Where are we? Whose house is this?" Chad asks as they climb from the vehicle."It's a party," Jensen tells them with a wicked grin. "Free food, free beer, what could be better?"They follow Jensen through a gate to the backyard and find it filled with the most popular kids from their high school. There's music blaring and two kegs of beer are already tapped. Jensen walks in like he owns the place but Jared, Chad and Milo freeze. They know they don't belong here. Jared wonders if any of these kids even know his name."Dude, we should go," Milo whispers to him. So far no one has noticed them, but Chad and Milo don't want to take the risk.Jensen appears before them with four beers in red Solo cups. "Come on guys, relax. It's a party." He hands each of them a beer and looks around as he sips his. "Let's find some food."Before he can step away, Jared grabs his arm. "How do you even know these people?""I don't." Jensen sees that Jared and his friends seem nervous. "Some girl named Gen who worked the concession stand at the movie told me about it. What's the problem?""Nothing. No problem. Let's go get something to eat," Jared says but Milo and Chad roll their eyes. They may as well stay until someone notices them and kicks them out. They take their cups and try to blend into the background.
Jared and Jensen move five feet when it becomes obvious they have been noticed.Apex social predators Danneel Harris, Michael Rosenbaum and Tom Welling swoop in front of them. Danneel's looking at Jensen like he's a Louis Vuitton bag found on a clearance rack. Strangely, her boyfriend Mike is looking at him the same way. Jensen is definitely their quarry though he doesn't seem threatened or concerned by their attention."Hi, I'm Danneel. This is Mike and Tom." Those were her words but she may as well have said, "We want to fuck you.""Jensen. This is Jared." Jensen smiles back in a way that Jared hasn't seen before but he certainly doesn't look like prey. He looks like a wolf that has finally found his pack.Tom Welling's arm goes around Jared's shoulder. "Hey, Jared. Can I talk to you over here for a second?" He practically drags Jared away from Jensen and the others. "Look man, you should probably go."Offended, Jared shrinks back. "I'm with him." He points to Jensen."Not anymore. Go before someone kicks your ass." Tom strides back to the others leaving Jared alone.
Jared searches for Chad and Milo and finds them practically standing in the bushes. He glances at Jensen and briefly catches his eye before Mike whispers something in Jensen's ear that makes him turn away.Suddenly Jared's had enough of being invisible, of stepping aside so others can have what they want. He wants Jensen and if doesn't let him know, he might never get the chance."Excuse me." Jared grabs Mike's shoulder so he can maneuver into the tight circle around Jensen. Jensen's expression changes to the warm smile Jared recognizes and that's all the impetus he needs. He steps up, gently cradles Jensen's cheek in his hand and kisses him.The disgruntled sounds of Danneel and the others go unnoticed. As do the the "Holy fuck!"s of Chad and Milo. Jared and Jensen are in their own world. Jared can't say how long they kiss because time and space cease to exist. The entire universe is Jensen.When Jared finally breaks the kiss, Jensen smiles warm and affectionate. "Wanna get out of here?"Jared nods. "Yeah, this party totally blows."Jensen's smile widens and he grabs Jared's hand as they walk over to Chad and Milo. "Sorry guys," Jensen begins, "I didn't know this party was going to be so lame. Let's go grab some burgers, my treat."

For the rest of the night Jared knows he has a goofy smile on his face. But he doesn't care because Jensen seems to be lit from within. When Jensen pulls into his aunt's driveway, that light dims. "What's -" Jared begins but Jensen interrupts him with "Do you want to hang out tomorrow?" quickly followed by, "Sorry, what were you going to say?"Jared's smile returns. "Nothing. And yes I want to hang out tomorrow!"He leans over to kiss Jensen but Jensen stops him with a hand to his shoulder. "What about your parents?"Jared squints in confusion. "You want to hang out with my parents?""No," Jensen chuckles. "Are your parents cool with you kissing a guy?"Jared leans back. "I don't know. They've never seen me kiss a guy. I don't think they've ever seen me kiss anyone but my grandmas. They know I'm gay, though, if that's what you're getting at."Jensen finally seems to relax again. "Yeah, that's what I was worried about. I didn't know if you're out to your parents. I don't want them coming after me for kissing their boy."Jared smirks. "You sayin' you plannin' on kissin' their boy?"Jensen grabs a fistful of Jared's shirt and pulls. "Definitely. C'mere." They kiss for as long as it's comfortable considering the center console in the way. Finally pulling back from the kiss, Jensen leans back in his seat. "You're lucky you know that? My parents kicked me out the moment they learned I liked boys as much as girls. Came home from school to find my stuff laying in the lawn. My mom refused to speak to me."Jared's mouth falls open in shock. "Seriously?"Jensen nods."Dude, that sucks. I'm so sorry. What about your aunt? Does she know?"Jensen huff a quiet laugh. "She knows. The funny thing is I never knew she existed. I found her on facebook six months ago. She's my mom's sister. She left home when she was sixteen because she fell in love with a girl and knew the family wouldn't accept it." He shifts in his seat, and fidgets with the steering wheel. "I've made a lot of dumb mistakes in my life and I didn't want to be one of yours.""Mistake? You think we're a mistake?""No!" Jensen assures him quickly. "I meant, if you weren't out yet. I don't want to be the cause of a family fight."Jared takes one of Jensen's hands from the steering wheel and holds it in his. "You're not a problem or a mistake. You're the best thing that ever happened to me."Jensen rolls his eyes but there's a small smile he can't hide. "You don't know me that well."Jared shrugs. "Yeah, well, I plan on knowing you more."For the next week Jared spends all his free time with Jensen. They play basketball, they relax in the hot tub, they watch movies but they never go further than making out. When Jared expresses the desire to do more, Jensen tells him, "I don't want to rush things between us. I'm kinda loving just being together." His sweet innocent expression convinces Jared to agree. But, Jensen also says, "Taking it slow doesn't mean I don't want you. Being with you is all I think about."Jensen's admission makes Jared fall even deeper for him.

"Jared, I had to run an extra thirty minutes on the treadmill because of you," Jensen whines as he plops on the couch next to Jared who's munching on popcorn."Like you need it," Jared scoffs. "You're already in perfect shape and besides popcorn has barely any calories.""If I was only eating popcorn it wouldn't be an issue. I think it's the pound of gummy bears we eat before the popcorn that's problem.""Then you shouldn't eat them. You're sweet enough anyway." Jensen gives him a fake 'aww' at that and then Jared adds, "Plus more for me" which earns him a light punch on the arm.After another episode of Black Mirror, Jensen says, "I was going to wait to tell you once I actually found something, but because of you, I figured out what I'm going to do next."Jared looks at him in complete confusion. "What are you talking about?""Well I was thinking of that picture of that orphanage you built -""I didn't -""Whatever. I want to do something like that. I wanna help people like that.""That's great -"Jensen ignores the interruption and goes on. "I thought about who I want to help and I'm thinking I want to help kids like me. I wanna work at one of those places that helps kids who've lost their families because of who they are and maybe don't have a place to live or don't know what to do next.""Jensen, that's amazing." Jared sounds sincere but Jensen shrugs it off."I don't know where yet, or how or if I'll have to go to school," he trails off. "Maybe it's dumb.""It's not dumb, Jensen. It's awesome and I know you'll be great 'cause you've been through it and can relate to them.""You really think so?""Yeah. My mom can help you with a resumé, if you want.""She'd do that? You'd ask her?""Of course. On one condition."Jensen's eyes narrow. "What is it?""You'll go on a date with me. A real date, like out to dinner and everything. Not just sitting in your house or my room and binge watching tv and eating popcorn. I want to take you out someplace nice.""I'd love to go on a real date with you." Jensen smiles as he leans in to kiss Jared.On Friday Jared is an oversexed ball of hormones. All he can think about all day is his date with Jensen that night. Dinner and a movie and hopefully sex. Or at least a handjob. He doesn't have time for Chad and whatever crazy scheme he's gotten himself into, but after receiving dozens of urgent texts from him, Jared relents to stop by Chad's house after school."Oh thank god," Chad says when he opens the door and finds Jared on his doorstep. He grabs Jared's arm and drags him along. "You gotta, you just gotta see this man. I can't, I mean I can't tell you, you have to see it."Jared follows Chad to his room and sits in Chad's computer chair when Chad practically shoves him into it. "Chad, what is it? I don't have a lot of time. Jensen and I have a date tonight."Chad's eyes widen. "You do? Then this is perfect. You hafta see this first." He fiddles with the computer for a second. "The AVN awards are next week and I like to study up on the nominees.""AVN Awards? What are those?""They're the Oscars of porn," Chad explains as images of porn scenes flash across the screen."Dude, I do not want to watch porn with you," Jared argues. He turns away from the screen and attempts to get out of the chair but Chad pushes firmly on his shoulders."Jare, you're going to want to see this," Chad replies as a nominated scene begins to play.

A man says "happy birthday, honey!" and opens a door to reveal a beautiful naked man gagged and on his knees with his hands bound behind his back. The woman squeals and claps her hands in delight as she rushes over to him. She puts her hand under his chin and raises his face toward the camera. His hair is lighter, nearly blonde but there's no mistaking those green eyes.There's more inane dialog but Jared can't hear it over the ringing in his ears or the shattering of his heart."That's not him," he mumbles as he turns away from Chad's screen."Oh yes it is. He's using a different name, Eric something, but that's him," Chad insists, completely oblivious to Jared's distress. "And he's good, too. He's up for multiple awards." He clicks on a different panel and the most erotic noises Jared has ever heard fill the speakers. A different man kisses Jensen then falls to his knees and takes Jensen's cock in his mouth,Jared squeezes his eyes shut. "That's not him," he repeats like he trying to convince himself of the lie."Dude, are you serious? This is awesome. You get to lose your cherry to a guy who is famous for great sex!" Chad claps him on the shoulder in misguided congratulations and slips a condom in his jacket pocket. "Do you think he can get me tickets to the show? The AVNs I mean. Man, I'd kill to see those."

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Jared doesn't know how he got out of there without punching Chad in the face. How he gets home without vomiting is a mystery, too. The power of speech evades him when he gets home and finds Jensen in the kitchen with his mother.They're sitting at the island with a laptop. They look up and smile when he enters. "Hi, honey," his mom begins. "Did you have a good day at school? Jensen and I have been working on his resumé. He has a lot of experience."Oh god if you only knew, Jared thinks. He meets Jensen's eyes and that smile feels like a dagger slicing away at his insides."You okay? You look kinda tired," Jensen asks appearing worried. But is he? Or is he acting? Is anything about him sincere? Jared closes his eyes to ground himself."Jared?""Yeah. I'm fine. A bit tired I guess." He walks past them to grab a Coke from the fridge."Do you want to cancel tonight? We don't have to go out," Jensen offers again sounding genuinely concerned.Jensen kissing a random porn guy flashes in Jared's memory and he gets hit with the strongest wave of jealousy he has ever felt. "No, we don't have to cancel. I'll pick you up at seven."Jensen grins again. "Okay, see you then." He turns to Jared's mother. "Thanks for your help, Mrs. Padalecki." He closes the laptop and tucks it under his arm.She smiles fondly at him. "It's my pleasure, dear. We can work on your cover letter next time."
Jared doesn't talk much during dinner. Jensen fills the quiet with talk that usually makes Jared laugh but tonight he only gets a chuckle or two."What movie are are we going to?" Jensen asks as they drive away from the restaurant."Don't feel like seeing another movie.""Okay, so what do you want to do?""I thought we'd go here," Jared says as he pulls into a 'no-tell-motel'.Jensen swallows and looks out the side window. "Okay."Jensen pauses, stiffening his spine as he watches Jared with the key card. It's as if he can sense that something is off, but if he has questions about Jared's reasons for taking him to a motel, he keeps them to himself. Jensen spares Jared one last hopeful look as they walk in, but once the crinkle of cellophane is heard coming from Jared's pocket, he braces himself.Shrugging his coat from his shoulders, Jensen walks to the bed. "So, how do you want me?" he asks in a voice lacking emotion. He tosses his jacket aside and looks over at Jared but doesn't meet his eyes. Instead, Jensen seems to focus on the vee of Jared's shirt where his collarbone is just barely visible.If he'd look, Jensen would see that Jared isn't looking at him. Jared's lips are pressed together and his jaw is clenched. When he thinks his emotions are under control Jared asks, "Why are you doing this?" His voice sounds pained and tight."Isn't this what you want? To fuck some porn star? To be some kind of big man to all your friends?" Jensen's voice quakes as his eyes flicker to Jared's face before returning to stare at some random spot on the guy's chest. He blinks away his emotions. "That's what I am, so let's get on with it." He begins to unbutton his shirt when Jared interrupts him."Jensen," Jared says quietly.Furious, Jensen is instantly on his feet. "No. You don't get to call me ... No, not you..." He grabs his coat and rushes to the door.Jared is right there with him. "Why didn't you tell me?" he begs in a whisper."Because I didn't want to!" he snaps before stopping taking a breath. "Because I loved how you looked at me." He turns to look up at Jared, eyes welling as emotions war on his face. "I thought, I hoped, I mean why would someone like you -""A virgin? A stupid inexperience virgin!?" Jared supplies not able to mask the disgust in his voice.His words demolish the last of Jensen's resolve and tears fall as he closes his eyes. " -want trash like me?" He tugs open the door and leaves.Jared is rooted to floor, watching Jensen walk away from him. Why is Jensen so angry? What gives him the right? I'm the one who was made a fool of. I'm the idiot. He watches Jensen at the curb. As his uber pulls up, Jensen turns and sees Jared watching. He hangs his head, defeated and exhausted, and climbs in the car.Jared slams the door. What the hell?
Fuming, he paces the length of the room.
How can Jensen be mad when he's the one who kept the secret?! I'm the one who fell in love. I'm the one with the broken heart!He sits on the bed, stuffing his hands into his jacket pockets. In one he feels the hotel key card. In the other he finds the condom Chad had given him. He pulls it from his pocket and turns it over in his hand. He should be getting laid right now not sitting alone in a crappy hotel room. He should be kissing Jensen and touching him. He should be worshiping Jensen's body right now and making him make those sounds that he made on the video. He wanted Jensen to be his first.If he's honest with himself, he wanted more than sex with Jensen. Wasn't there more between them than that?Jared stands up and throws the condom into the trash can. He's so angry he wants to punch something. He kicks the trash can since it was the only thing he couldn't really damage. The plastic dents and Jared is mesmerized, watching it slowly return to its normal shape. He wants to kick it harder, wants to make it so that it can't bounce back. As he swings his leg back, he stops. "Trash?" he asks the empty room. He hears Jensen's words in his head. 'Trash like me' is that what Jensen thought? That Jared thought he was trash? That that was why he had brought him here?Jared growls, "Fuck!" and runs out the door.Jensen doesn't respond to his texts.Jensen doesn't respond to his phone calls.Jensen doesn't respond to his knock at the door.On Monday morning, Jared rushes over to Jensen's before school.Jensen pulls open the door without bothering to see who it is. "You're early," he says as he turns away. He must have just left his shower. He's only wearing a pair of basketball shorts and he's towel drying his lightened hair. "I'm not even packed yet, but there's coffee if you want it.""Packed?" Jared asks as he follows Jensen into the room.Surprised at hearing Jared's voice, Jensen stops rubbing at his hair and spins around. "Jared?"Jared's eyes are wide at Jensen's dye job. "Your hair!""What are you doing here?" Jensen demands instead of answering."Why did you dye your hair?" Jared repeats, knowing he sounds stupid, but the color makes Jensen look like he did in those movies."Shouldn't you be in school?" He stands with the towel around his neck and his hands on his hips."You ignored me all weekend and I wanted to explain," Jared begins."I think we were both pretty clear, Jared." Jensen lowers his head and seems to study a spot on the floor."No. no we weren't," Jared tries again.Jensen levels a steely glare at Jared, "Are you saying you didn't find out about my porn career?""No," Jared stammers."Then are you saying you didn't want to have sex with me?""No, of course I wanted to have sex but-""But you found out I work in porn. And what? I became some sort of thing instead of a person?""No!" Jared says defensively."Jared, go to school. I've got stuff to do.""No. Why are you giving up so easily?" Jared implores. "I made a mistake. Can't you forgive me? I was angry and hurt. I couldn't bear knowing you kept something so important from me."A knock on the door prevents further discussion and Jensen yells, "Come in, Meesh!"An attractive man with dark hair and bright blues eyes walks in and Jared instantly hates him. "Eric, hey, you about ready?" he asks before he sees Jared. "Wait, hold the phone, who's the new talent?" His eyes rake over Jared making him feel like he's cattle being appraised at auction."I'm Jared. I'm Jens-"Jensen's suddenly at Jared's elbow trying to rush him out the door. "Neighbor kid. Honor student. Has to go to school now."Jared shakes Jensen's hand off his arm. "Wait. Look, you don't owe me anything. Not even the chance to apologize or explain. But you deserve an apology and I am so sorry. I was jealous and confused and I fucked up. You deserve so much better."Jensen stares him in the eye for a long moment. "Go to school Jared.""Can we talk later?"Jensen's nod is noncommittal but it's enough for Jared."Misha, I need five more minutes. There's coffee-""Yeah."

Jared stands in Jensen's front yard for a minute pulling himself together. That didn't go the way he hoped, but he thinks there might be a chance if -"That was real nice, kid. It was. It touched me." Jared turns and sees Misha with his hand on his heart appearing as sincere as a weasel. "Eric has an award show to prep for. It's a big deal in the industry and he doesn't have time for kid stuff now. So you run along and let the grown ups go to work."Jared nods and leaves. At least he has an idea where Jensen is going.
Later, Jared corners Chad. "Tell me everything about the AVN awards. Where are they? Can regular people go to them? How much does it cost?"Chad takes a moment to process Jared's demands. Two days ago Jared was in denial about Jensen's porn career and now he wants to go the award show? Worse, Jared doesn't seem excited, he's furious. "No.""No? Chad, I need you and your stupid porn obsession now and you say no?!""Jare, you're my best friend and I love you and would pretty much do anything for you-""So then do this!""No. I'm not going to let you do this. Jensen is a good guy. This job is his choice and he's damn good at it. I'm not going to let you make a fool of yourself and be some sort of knight in shiny armor who's trying to rescue a guy that doesn't need saving."Chad's words deflate Jared's urgency. "I'm not trying to save him," he admits quietly. "I screwed up on our date. I was freaking out thinking about him with those other people and now he thinks I…" he looks at Chad in desperation, "I think I'm in love with him, Chad. His job doesn't change that.""So, you're going there to support him?" The doubt clear in his voice as he asks."I want to tell him I see him as more than just his porn career. I mean, I don't like it. I will never watch any of those movies, but I love him and I want him to be happy." Jared's voice has gone soft and he seems brokenhearted not angry."Okay, fine. Come over after school and we'll figure out what to do."Jared's face brightens. "Really? Thanks man!""Yeah, whatever. Maybe I'm your shiny knight.""It's shining not shiny.""What?""The armor it's shining not shiny."Chad rolls his eyes. "Dude, you are such a nerd. Why does Jensen even like you?"
In his room Chad sits in front of his dual screen computer. "The AVN awards are a big deal, my friend. We're talking days of activities like photo ops and meet and greets and shows. Do you know anything about Jensen's appearance there? Is it just for the awards or will he be involved in the other events?" he asks starting up his computer."No. I don't know anything about that stuff," Jared complains from his seat on Chad's bed."Okay, don't get your panties in a twist. We'll just look up Jensen on the schedule of events and go from there." Chad calmly scrolls through screens until he's exhausted every event. Jensen's simply not listed. "Jared, are you sure he's going to be there? I don't see him listed anywhere."Jared sighs. "Where else could he be? Some guy named "Meesh" said that "Eric" had an important award show-"Chad groans outrageously. "I forgot to search his porn name." It only takes him a few seconds to find Eric Brady's schedule. He blows out a slow whistle. "Your boy's gonna be busy. Meet and greets every day and shows Thursday and Friday night. Plus, of course, the award ceremony on Saturday."Jared sighs. "Maybe we should start with what we can afford."Chad turns back to his computer. "Well that definitely leaves out the ceremony. Even balcony tickets are over three hundred dollars with no guarantee you'll be able to talk to him. On Friday, he has autographs, a meet and greet and a show. It's your best chance to talk to him.""Okay, how much?" Jared doesn't care. He has to see Jensen."A total of one seventy five for each of us. But now you've got to consider how we're getting to Vegas and where we're gonna stay. The Hard Rock is totally booked." Chad taps at his keyboard. "There's cheap gambling junkets that can take us there but we have to be twenty-one.""Twenty-one to gamble but eighteen for the porn show. Makes sense.""We could drive. Split the time three ways," Chad suggests sounding hopeful."Three? You think Milo would want to go?""To see hot porn stars in person in Vegas? Yeah, I think he'd want to go. He has a pulse, man."Jared sits up and pulls out his phone. "I'll ask him." Then he stops. "We're going to miss school. What are we going to tell our parents?"Chad isn't phased by this new road block. He reaches into his backpack and retrieves a pamphlet. "UNLV college visit," he says with a devious smile.Jared can't believe he has to wait in line to speak to Jensen but the autograph session was the most affordable option."Jared, what are you doing here?" Jensen hisses quietly when Jared approaches his table."Please give me one minute." Jensen rolls his eyes and nods and Jared takes a deep breath and continues. "Okay. So here's the thing. I'm, uh, I'm in love with you."Jensen stares blankly at him just as a couple yells, "We love you, Eric!" Jensen smiles, nods and waves politely to them before turning back to Jared unimpressed."No. They love the actor, the guy nominated for awards. I'm in love with the guy who breaks me out of school for an afternoon on the boardwalk, the guy who saves all the red gummi bears for me because he knows they're my favorite, the guy who hangs out in my room reading Hemingway while I do my homework. I love the guy who chose me when he could have anyone." Jared takes a breath to calm himself. "I got jealous when I saw you on screen but now I realize that was acting that wasn't you."Jensen averts his eyes and takes a breath. After a moment he whispers, "Wait over there.""What?""By the stairs. Wait for me by the stairs."Jared nods and counts this as a win. At least Jensen wants to see him again.Nearly an hour later, Jensen ambles over. Jared rises from his seat on the stairs and smiles even though Jensen looks nervous. "Did you mean what you said?" Jensen asks skipping 'hello' to get right to what he wants to know. "You love me?""Yes." Jared's smile widens. "Jensen, I'm totally in love with you."Jensen rubs his lips together in thought. "You don't care about all of this?" He waves his arm to indicate the convention."I care. It's part of your life so of course I care about it. But only as much as you care about me being in school. I want you to do what you want to do. Whether that's helping at risk kids or porn, I want you to be happy."Jensen narrows his eyes and tilts his head as he studies Jared, still deciding if he should believe him. Before he gives Jared the verdict, a man in an exquisitely tailored suit touches his arm. "Eric? May I have a word?"Jensen blinks in surprise. "Mr. Sheppard.""A star like you can call me Mark.""Okay," replies Jensen, his voice shaky with nerves."My god, you're even more beautiful in person." Mark studies him for a moment. "Eric, I'd like you to come work for me. A talent like yours should shine among the stars. You're being wasted over at Collins and Company.""Thanks, I'll think about it.""I'm not talking about your appearance or your impressive physical endowments. I'm referring to your writing." To Jensen's shocked expression Mark replies, "A friend of a friend gave it to me. It's quite good. If you ever want to work for someone who will appreciate all your talents, please keep me in mind." He hands Jensen a business card and walks away.Excited for him, Jared moves closer to Jensen. "Who was that?""What the hell did Sheppard want?" Misha demands as he pushes his way between Jared and Jensen."Nothing. He congratulated me on my nominations," Jensen replies, quietly pocketing the card before Misha notices it."That's right. You out-shined his entire stable," Misha throws an arm around Jensen's shoulder as he gloats. "I've got lots of enticing offers coming up." Then he finally notices Jared. "Hey, what are you doing here?"Jared glances from him to Jensen and back. Before he can answer, Jensen speaks up. "Oh you know teenage boys and their porn," he sneers. "The kid wanted to see the show."Misha grins steely and cold. "Oh does he? I'll see if I can get him some passes." He slithers off but not before commanding Jensen to 'get a move on'.Jared sighs. He wants to cling to the hope that Jensen might have some sort of feelings for him, but Jensen's looking everywhere but at him. This feels like a brush off. "I get it. You're too busy to talk. And, well, you know where to find me."He takes one step away but Jensen grabs his arm. "Wait. You're right. I can't talk here, but…" He kisses Jared quickly and chastely on the lips. "I'll call when I get home."Jared's smile is brighter than the Las Vegas strip.
It's nearly eleven on Sunday night when Jared's phone pings a text.
Look out your window
Jared pull back the drape and sees Jensen in the bedroom. He's holding a sign that says "I'm sorry" and a bag of red things?Jared grins and taps a reply.
Are those gummy bears?
Come over and find out

The moment he's through the door, Jared is in Jensen's warm, solid embrace. "I'm sorry," Jensen murmurs into his shoulder.Jared doesn't want to let go to find out why Jensen is apologizing. The hug is turning his insides to jelly and he never wants it to end."We can't just stand here like this," Jensen chuckles after a few more seconds.Jared tightens his arms around him. "Yes we can. I can stay like this forever."Jensen nuzzles closer. "Okay, but that means you can't have the gummy bears.""This is better than gummy bears."Jensen pulls back. His hands go to Jared's face and he peers into his eyes. "Who are you and what have you done with Jared?"Jared smiles and leans in to kiss Jensen. After several minutes, he's breathless and his heart is pounding in his chest so strongly he thinks Jensen can hear it or at least feel it, but he still doesn't want to stop kissing Jensen.So it's Jensen who finally breaks the kiss. He whispers, "Thank you," and "I'm sorry," and steps out the their embrace."Why are you sorry? You have nothing to be sorry for," Jared tells him as Jensen leads him to the couch."I should have told you about the porn.""And I could have asked when I found out about it," Jared reminds him.Jensen smiles fondly at him. "I've never met anyone like you, Jared. I'm so-" he stops himself, not ready to say the actual words yet. "I haven't trusted anyone in a long time. I think I forgot how."He shifts in his seat to put some space between them. "Before I met you, I thought I was doing fine. My life was good. I didn't love my job, but who does? When I met you, I realized how lonely I was. How much I missed having someone in my life who accepted me, who liked me for me. And I thought if I tell you about this other thing in my life, I'm going to lose the best guy I ever met." He gently takes Jared's hand in his. "I should have had more faith in you"Jared squeezes Jensen's hand and struggles to hold onto his emotions. He wants to tell Jensen how important he is to him, how much he means to him, and how he's hopelessly in love with him but he doesn't trust the words to come out right."I think I love you, too, Jared."The words make Jared's mouth fall open and his eyes go wide. Everything is perfect. His life is perfect. He smiles at Jensen. "I know. Now, get over here and kiss me."Jensen shakes his head and allows Jared to pull him over on top of him. "You're an idiot."Jared nods and kisses him. "'m your idiot."The lack of sleep and the pop quiz in history do nothing to dampen Jared's mood. His face aches from smiling all day. His life is perfect.Jensen's agreed to teach him, with hands-on, "interactive study tools", all about gay sex later that night. Jared cannot wait for the day to be over.He's twirling his keys around his finger as he walks to his car. He's oblivious to everyone around him when someone grabs his shoulder and punches him in the kidney."Hey, honor student," is hissed into his ear and he's spun and shoved into the side of a car. "Jensen didn't show up for work today." Misha lands another punch right below Jared's solar plexus, making him crumble. "That cost me thirty grand," Misha growls grabbing hold of Jared's shirt so he can't fall. He proceeds to punch Jared repeatedly in the face. "Just who the fuck do you think you are? Stop planting fairy tales in my whore's head." He lets go and Jared falls to the ground. "You owe me thirty grand by the end of the week for breach of contract."

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

"This is all my fault. I'm going to kill him. I'm going to fucking kill him." Jensen is pacing the Padalecki kitchen while Jared's mom tends to her son's injuries."You'll do no such thing, Jensen," she chides him gently. "Crush some ice for me. There's a mallet in that drawer and a ice pack over here." Sheri applies antiseptic carefully and places a butterfly suture on the cut by Jared's eye.She and Jared wince at the sound of the ice being crushed. Jensen's hitting it so hard there's barely anything left for the pack. Jensen scoops the ice chips into the bag and hands it to Sheri."Thank you, Jensen." She puts the bag on her son's bruised face and kisses his forehead. Then she turns to Jensen and places her hands firmly on his shoulders. "This is not your fault and Jared's going to be fine." She keeps her hands on his shoulders and waits for him to meet her gaze. "I need you to repeat that back to me. This is not your fault.""This is not my fault," Jensen mumbles."Jared is going to be fine.""Jared's going to be fine," Jensen sighs.She offers a small smile, pats his arms and releases him. "Now, we'll be pressing charges, of course. Assault and battery possibly extortion. But is this a hate crime? Jared? Did he use any inappropriate words about you or Jensen?""No. He didn't say anything about my sexuality or Jensen's," Jared replies glancing quickly at Jensen."He'll post bail and -" Jensen begins but Sheri interrupts him."I don't care if he's only mildly inconvenienced. If we don't report it, he'll go around thinking he can act without consequence."Sheri packs up the first aid kit and kisses Jared on the top of his head. Then she turns to Jensen. "Now, young man, I expect you to dote on my baby for the rest of the evening. Can you do that for me?"She's managed to calm some of Jensen's rage. "Yes, ma'am.""Good. He can be such a whiner when he's sick or hurting." She winks and leaves them alone"Mom!" Jared whines indignantly, proving her point.
Jared lays on his bed, ice pack on his face, while Jensen paces the room. "Jensen, come sit down.""I can't." He pauses to peer out the window. "Still think I'm the best thing to ever happen to you?"Jared straightens up concerned. "Yeah, absolutely.""You're smarter than that Jared and I'm an idiot for thinking I could get out of this. I'm trapped.""No, you're not, we'll figure something out."Jensen shakes his head. "No. I'll just go back to work." He glances at Jared. "I'm so sorry. I know you won't want…" his voice trails off and he can no longer look at Jared."Jensen, I love you and your job is not going to change that. We'll figure something out""Oh we will?" he snaps bitterly."Yeah, I know we will."Jared's calm soothes Jensen. He gives Jared a half hearted smile but then his expression changes. "Sheppard. I'll call Sheppard.""Who's that?""He's a big time producer. He runs a different company. You met him at the awards. He's the guy that came up to me when we were talking."Jensen's new found excitement is contagious. "And he can help?" Jared asks."I don't know, I think so. He's known for the creative contracts he holds. He can at least suggest ways to deal with Misha." His hand trembles as he takes out his phone. "God, I hope he takes my call." He paces the room while he waits for the call to be answered, but it goes to voicemail. "Uh, Mr. Sheppard it's Eric Brady. I was hoping to talk to you about my contract with Collins and Company. Please call me back when you get the chance. Thank you." He disconnects and leans against Jared's desk. "I hope he calls back.""He will. He seemed really into you at the convention." Jared crosses the room to Jensen and rests his hands on Jensen's shoulders to help lessen his nerves.Jensen's hands go to Jared's hip and he pulls him closer. "If Misha hurts you again…""He sucker punched me. I was daydreaming about you and I never saw him."Jensen traces a finger over the bruise on Jared's cheek. "I'm so sorry." His thumb drags over Jared's lower lip, carefully aware of the swelling. Jared kisses the thumb as it sweeps across his lip. "Damn, you are so distracting."Jared closes in for a kiss but Jensen's ringing phone interrupts it. "It's him. It's Sheppard." He puts the phone on speaker when he answers so Jared can hear the whole conversation."Eric, I was so pleased to hear from you. Did I understand you correctly? You want to end your contract with Collins?" Sheppard asks"No, sir, not exactly." Jensen details Misha's actions against Jared and his threat against himself and then asks, "Could I really owe Collins thirty grand for not showing up to set today?""That's a little high for his kind of production but close give or take. Remember there are location fees and the crew to consider. But let me ask you, when did you sign the contract for this movie? Because you could say this is a negotiation tactic after the awards you won."Jensen's brow wrinkles in confusion. "I didn't. I haven't signed contract since I joined Collins nearly two years ago.""Industry standard is per performance. Collins may have you on a term contract but even then it should have expired in a year. Can I ask why you didn't show?" Sheppard sounds more interested now."I don't want to do that kind of work anymore. I quit months ago. I think Misha set this up during the convention and never told me anything except that he wanted to see me at the studio today."There's a significant pause on the line and Jensen is worried that if he's not in the industry, Mark Sheppard won't help. "Tell you what I can do, Eric. I'll contact Collins about buying your contract which means he'll have to produce one.""And when he can't?"Jensen can almost hear the sly smile on Sheppard's face when he replies, "You can hardly be in breach of a contract that doesn't exist.""Thanks, Mr. Sheppard, but what will I owe you for this? I don't want to be in porn anymore." Jensen holds Jared's hand for reassurance."As I told you in Vegas, I like your writing. Let's meet tomorrow. If you can get me something I can produce by the end of the week, we'll talk."Jensen's eyes widen, but Jared nods encouragingly. "Okay, Mr. Sheppard, I'll have something by Friday.""I look forward to it."Jensen puts his phone away and slumps against Jared's desk. "It took weeks to write that script. How am I supposed to do it in four days?"Jared stands in the vee of Jensen's legs and combs his fingers through Jensen's hair. "I'll help."Jensen's hands grip Jared's hips and he squeezes. "Thanks, but you have enough to do with school and everything."Jared kisses Jensen's forehead. "None of that is more important than you."Jensen gazes up at him, unsure how to respond. His eyes reflect a mix of hope and gratitude and some doubt that he tries to bury. He blows out a shaky breath. "How can you have so much faith in me?""It's easy." Jared smiles into a kiss. "You're supposed to be doting on me, remember?" Jared whispers before kissing Jensen again. Taking Jensen's hands, Jared walks him to the bed pulling Jensen down with him as he sits.Jensen chuckles. "Right. Doting. How does one do that exactly?"Jared lays down and tugs Jensen down on top of him. "It starts with you kissing me.""I can do that," Jensen whispers leaning in to press his lips to Jared's.Jared hums his approval because he's been thinking about this all day. But he's not going to let Jensen stop at just kissing and barely there touches over clothes, he wants more. He was promised more. When Jensen moves against him, the gentle weight of his hips signals he's definitely enjoying the kissing, Jared's breath stutters. "Jen, please touch me."Jensen pulls back and stares at him wide-eyed."Please," Jared begs again. "I wanna touch you and I want you to touch me. Please, can I?"Jensen stares for another moment then nods and rolls off Jared enough to unzip his own jeans. He meets Jared's eyes again before tentatively reaching for Jared's zipper. Jared is torn between wanting to touch Jensen and wanting Jensen to touch him so he undoes his own jeans and shoves them down to his knees. He grabs Jensen's wrist and whisper begs, "Please, Jensen." And Jensen moves his hand to Jared's cock making the boy's breath hitch.Jared has to close his eyes for a second, he can't believe this is finally happening. Jensen's hand is slowly stroking him and he's never felt anything so wonderful. Then he remembers he can touch Jensen and his eyes snap open to see Jensen watching him. "C-can I touch you, too?"Jensen nods and Jared can't get to his prize fast enough. Jensen's fly is open but he's still mostly dressed and Jared struggles to get inside the tight confines of Jensen's jeans. When he finally gets his hand around Jensen's cock, Jensen gasps and Jared loves that sound. Just as Jared's finding the perfect rhythm, Jensen rubs his thumb over the tip of Jared's cock and his mind goes numb.He imitates the move on Jensen and gets another soft whimper out of him and a shudder of his hips. Suddenly, Jensen's hand is flying over Jared's cock, moving so fast it's practically a blur and Jared gives up on reciprocating. His hips rock and he bites his lip to muffle the cry that wants to explode out of him. "Jensen, fuck, Jensen, oh my god, I'm gonna.." His back arches off the bed and he comes.Collapsing back down, Jared catches his breath and turns to Jensen with a huge grin. "That was awesome." His smile fades instantly because Jensen looks pained. His eyes are squeezed shut, his jaw is clenched and Jared's joy evaporates. "Jensen?""Give me a second." He blows out a deep breath and opens his eyes to see Jared's concerned expression. "Hey, I'm good. I'm just trying to hold off." He tucks himself back in his pants. "I'll go get you something to clean up with."
When Jensen returns, Jared is nearly redressed. "Jared? What are you doing? I thought we were," he points to the bed instead of finishing."Tell me what I did wrong. I can't believe I fucked up our first time together.""Whoa, no, that is not what happened." He rushes to Jared, tugs on his arm so they face each other. "Jared, believe me, you were perfect.""But you didn't come and you basically ran away." Jared looks anywhere but at Jensen."No, hey, look at me." He waits until Jared meets his eyes. "I didn't come because I didn't want to, not because you did something wrong." Jared still looks doubtful so Jensen sits them down on the bed. "Listen. It took all my concentration not to blow when you did. Fuck Jared, that was so hot. I was trying to help you take the edge off, but I like holding off, keeping myself right at the edge. I thought we'd be doing this some more.""Really?" Jared's voice is a mix of doubt and excitement."Yeah, Jared. I haven't been with someone, someone that I wanted to be with, for over a year. I wanna make this last. I want to actually enjoy being with you and sex. I like getting that close and not coming, it makes my orgasm more intense. And," Jensen pauses, suddenly shy, and looks at his hands in his lap. ."And?""And no one's ever asked before, like you did, if they could touch me. Everyone's just taken what they wanted, did what they wanted. No one ever cared what I wanted." He takes a calming breath. "Believe me Jared, you didn't fuck anything up." He holds up the wash cloth he brought back with him. "Guess you don't need this."Jared shrugs. "I don't know. The night's still young and you did say something about going again."Jensen's eyes darken, his gaze falls to Jared's lips but then he's pulling away again. "One more thing," he sighs heavily. "I'm not that guy. I don't know what you saw, but there's a difference between me and him. I'm...I mean I don't even like.." he struggles with his words, but Jared speaks up."I didn't watch anything. I stopped the moment I saw you on the screen. I couldn't watch you with somebody else. Like I told you, it made me jealous."Time freezes as Jensen stares at him unable to express his feelings. Finally he exhales and says, "Your parents are downstairs, right?" Jared nods. "Maybe we should go to my place. I have a feeling we might get a little loud." Grinning, he stands and holds out a hand for Jared.A beaming Jared takes his hand, too excited to speak.
But something catches their attention. A ray of light moves across Jensen's dark windows."What the?" Jensen takes a step to the window to investigate, but Jared pulls him back and beckons him to follow.They go into the guest room at the front of the house. "Whoever it is would have seen us from my window," he explains.Jensen looks out the window to the street past his aunt's house. "Misha." He points to a car parked a few houses away and pulls his phone from his pocket."9-1-1. What is your emergency?""I'd like to report a burglary in progress at 2939 Evergreen Terrace.""Are you the homeowner?""No, ma'am. I'm house sitting for my aunt. I'm calling from the neighbor's house at 2937 Evergreen and I'm watching a man in my aunt's house.""Could it be someone your aunt invited over?""If it was, he wouldn't be walking around with a flashlight.""We have a patrol car in the area. We're sending them now. Do not go into your aunt's house. Stay with your neighbor. The squads should be there shortly."The moment he hangs up, Jensen is running down the stairs. "Jensen, they said not to go over there!" Jared yells as he chases after him."I'm not. But I am going to make sure he doesn't get away." He's grinning wickedly as he runs out the door.
Staying in the shadows as much as he can, Jensen makes his way to Misha's car. He ducks behind it so he won't be seen if Misha happens to look. Then he lets the air out of the rear tire.
The first squad car arrives when he's done and Jensen hustles back to Jared's house to meet them. He sees Jim Beaver, the neighbor on the other side of his aunt, standing in the yard with a baseball bat. He finds Jared's dad in the backyard, also holding a bat. Gerald jerks his head at Jensen to tell him to go inside just as two more cars pull up.The second he's inside, Jared grabs him. "Where were you?""I let the air out of Misha's tires so he couldn't get away."Jared's mom steps beside them and pulls both boys into a hug. "I'm so glad you stayed here tonight. I shudder to think what would have happened if you were over there instead.""Probably nothing, Mrs. Padalecki," Jensen assures her. "Misha probably would have just left."
Minutes are moving too slowly for their nerves but finally police officers drag Misha from the house. They go outside to watch and the instant Misha sees Jensen standing in the yard, he starts shouting. "Who the fuck do you think you are?! You go to Sheppard behind my back and think you can get away with it? You'll never work again, whore!"An officer gently touches Jensen's arm. "Mr. Ackles, could you come with me please? Detective Morgan would like to talk to you."Jensen nods and follows him when Jared's dad steps up. "Jensen, would you like me to go with you?"Jensen looks confused but says, "Yeah, okay" and Jared's dad joins him when he meets with Detective Morgan.By the time Jensen and his dad are back, Jared is a nervous wreck. Jensen is pale, his dad looks angry and Jared can't wait any longer. "What happened? What did the detective say?"Jensen collapses on the couch. "Misha's been arrested. You should still go file charges against him tomorrow but… my aunt is going to kill me.""What?" all the Padaleckis demand at once."I was supposed to be watching her house and it gets broken into because of me. She's never going to speak to me again." Jensen buries his face in his hands.Gerald and Sheri exchange looks and Gerald takes a seat on the couch next to Jensen. He places his hand gently but firmly on Jensen's shoulder. "We've known Kate for a several years. She's not going to be angry, she's going to be glad you're okay.""He broke her window," Jensen explains."And she has insurance for that," Gerald counters. "Jensen, this Misha person only damaged your things and it could have been much worse if you had been there."Jensen shakes his head, but Jared asks, "Why, what happened?""Collins took a box cutter to most of Jensen's clothes and he was carrying a bottle of acid with him," his dad explains making Sheri gasp.Jensen runs a hand through his hair as he stands. "Right, so, I should go, clean up the mess he made. It's late and I've taken up so much of your time. I'm so sorry."He takes a few steps to the door when Jared grabs his hand. "Wait.""Jensen, you should stay here tonight," Sheri says making both boys turn to her in surprise."She's right," Gerald continues. "Jensen, do you realize what that asshole was going to do? If you had answered the door, you'd have gotten a face full of acid and that box cutter would have been used on you and not your clothes."Gerald notes the fear in the eyes of his family. "Jim said he'd board up that window. Detective Morgan said Collins is spending at least one night in jail, probably more. Kate's house is safe and we would all feel better knowing you were safe, too. So stay here."Jensen looks from Gerald to Sheri and sees their concern for him. "Okay." His voice is just above a whisper. Jared slips his arm around Jensen's waist and squeezes."Good," Sheri says with a smile fighting to cover her concern. "Why don't you boys go in the den and pick out one of those raunchy comedies you love so much, like Old School or Step Brothers. I'll pop up some popcorn and we'll have a good old fashioned movie night."
The movies get their minds off the evening's events and by the end everyone is ready to crash for the night. Nothing is said about Jensen using the guest room and when he stops at that door, Jared just guides him into his room.He peels Jensen's shirt off of him, then his own. He slides his jeans off and asks, "Do you want something to sleep in?""No, I'm good." Jensen folds his jeans and sets his clothes on Jared's desk chair.They crawl under the covers and Jared snaps off the light. "Can I hold you? I kinda need to but I get it if you'd rather not. I mean, sorry," he sighs, feeling unsure.Jensen doesn't reply he simply wraps an arm around Jared pulling him close until their chests touch. He gently presses his lips to Jared's and hums in agreement when Jared readily deepens the kiss. Jensen's leg slides between Jared's and soon they are grinding against each other.Jared's hard and can feel the precome sticking to his shorts. Jensen's hand cups his ass. "Fuck, Jared, I want you so bad," Jensen groans in a breathy whisper. "You've got me so hard." He rolls his hips to punctuate his words. "Do you have any lube?"Jared freezes. Jensen wants to actually fuck? Jared wants it but he's not sure if he's ready for that yet. Jensen continues to grind their erections together and even though they're still in their boxers the pressure is amazing. He starts kissing Jared's jaw and neck, gently sucking on his pulse point, making Jared whimper. "Lube? Lotion? Whatever you use to jerk off. Is it close?""Yeah, just a sec." Jared reaches into drawer of his nightstand and pulls out a tiny bottle of KY. He's not sure he wants to go all the way, but if it's what Jensen needs or wants, Jared tells himself he's okay with it."KY, nice." Jensen rolls back and strips off his boxers. "Take off your shorts." He takes the bottle from Jared and pours some into his hand. "Can I touch you again?"Jared strips and nods but thinks he must be shaking he's so nervous. He lays flat on his back waiting for Jensen and spreads his legs preparing for the pain he's read about. Jensen crawls between Jared's legs. He's covering his cock with lube, smoothing it slowly and deliberately from base to tip. He adds a few more drops then, supporting most of his weight on his knees and free hand, Jensen lays over Jared. He takes both of their cocks in his lube covered hand and strokes. "Fuck, you're so big I can barely get my hand around both of us." Jensen rolls his hips, fucking into his hand and against Jared's hard cock.When Jared realizes Jensen isn't going to fuck him, he relaxes. The feeling of Jensen's hand squeezing him while their dicks rub together is exquisite and he begins to thrust his hips. He grabs hold of Jensen's ass and squeezes, encouraging him to go harder and faster. Jared doesn't know he's moaning until Jensen shushes him. "Dude, your parents," and quiets the rest of the moans with a demanding kiss.The problem is that Jensen's kiss turns Jared on even more and he shudders. "Fuck, Jared, you gonna come for me?" Jensen's voice is a dusky whisper. His teeth scrape Jared's neck and he sucks on the spot. "It's so hot watching you come."Jensen's deep voice is close in his ear. Their bodies hot and slick as they move together are almost too much for Jared. He squeezes his eyes shut and blows out a breath. "No. You're comin' first, Jen. You're gonna fuckin' cover us with it." He feels a small tremble run through Jensen. "Please, I wanna feel you come for me." His whisper is a hot breath on Jensen's neck.Jensen groans deeply and his whole body shudders. He gasps a broken "Jare" as his orgasm overtakes him. Everything is hotter and slicker and Jared can't believe that just happened. Somehow Jensen is still moving above him, still stroking them but Jared only lasts another minute before the sensations are too much. Electricity courses through his body. His toes curl, his balls tighten, and he clutches Jensen's ass as his come covers them, too.They're both panting. Jensen has stopped stroking them and he carefully rolls to the side to catch his breath. "Stay here," Jared pants. "I'll go get something to clean us up.""Couldn't move if I tried."

Jared's back in a minute to find Jensen sitting up in bed. He's the most beautiful person Jared has ever seen and Jared's astonished that Jensen wants him, too. But all of that is overshadowed by the worry on Jensen's face. Jared hands him a warm damp cloth. "What's wrong?"Jensen takes the cloth and cleans the evidence of their love making from his skin with a trembling hand. "Do you think your dad was right? Do you think Misha would have hurt me?"Stunned that Jensen would even doubt it Jared blurts out, "Yes. Absolutely."Jensen's eyes are wide and tears are threatening to fall. "If we had left here just a few minutes earlier, he would have really hurt you." He cups Jared's bruised cheek. "These bruises would be nothing compared to that."Jared shakes his head. "He could have killed you. You are the one he was after, not me.""That doesn't matter. If he had gotten you -""Stop saying that," Jared demands taking Jensen's hands. "It matters. You matter. Especially to me."Jensen sucks in a shaky breath and a tear falls. "I have so many regrets in my life. I would redo the last four years if I could." He exhales, regaining control of his emotions. "But only if I could still meet you. I don't understand what you see in me. I'm not worth any of this trouble.""Yes, you are. And stop talking bad about my boyfriend. He's everything I've ever wanted." Jared climbs into bed next to Jensen and switches off the light. He snuggles down under the covers and curls up next to Jensen."Boyfriend. I haven't been someone's boyfriend since the eighth grade," Jensen whispers sliding his arm around Jared so that Jared's head is pillowed on his chest."Well, get used to it 'cuz that's what you are for all of my foreseeable future."

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

The next day is a rush of activity. Jensen has to meet with the police and Mark Sheppard. Jared also has to talk to the police about Misha's attack and he has school.His bruised face garners him some extra attention, but not much. Only Chad and Milo want the story behind it."Dude, that is messed up. Is Jensen okay?" Chad asks after Jared fills him in on the night's activities."Yeah. He's getting a restraining order, but he's freaked out about the whole thing."Milo shakes his head in disbelief. "What would have happened if he hadn't been with you? You could have woken up to the news of a murder right next door."Jared squirms at the thought and tries to ignore the dread it makes him feel.
After school, Jared goes straight to Jensen's house. For the first time since they met, Jensen doesn't look perfect. His clothes are rumpled, his hair is sticking up in weird clumps, and his eyes have dark circles. He smiles half heartedly at Jared as he lets him in."Jen, you okay? How're you holding up?"Jensen chuckles. "That obvious, huh?" He runs a hand through his hair adding to the strange new 'do'. "I think the shit with Misha is handled. At least for now. But I met with Sheppard about story ideas and I'm blocked. He wants a script he can put on HBO late night or Cinemax/skinemax. He wants softcore porn with LGBTQ characters. It should be paranormal or supernatural based or feudal like Game of Thrones. I don't know anything about that shit."Jared wrinkles his brow. "Why do you even care? I mean it's not like you have to pay back Collins anymore, right? So why do you even have to write a script?"Jensen plops onto the couch next to Jared. "I kinda owe him for helping me with the Misha situation but more than that, I don't want to do porn. I want to write and he's giving me that chance. If I can do this, give him a story that he can use, I just might have a future in this."Jared nods in understanding. "What have you got so far?"A nervous laugh bubbles out of Jensen. "Nothing?" He buries his head in his hands. "I've got no fucking clue."Jared jumps off the couch and paces the room chewing his lip. He pulls his phone from his pocket and stares at it before putting it back and pacing again."Hey, man, don't worry about it. It's my problem and like you said, if I don't write something it's not the end of the world." Jensen stands up and makes his way to the kitchen. "You want something to drink? I had to buy a whole bunch of stuff because the cops told me not to trust anything that was opened."Jared follows him and takes out his phone again. "Um, yeah, okay. Uh, so here's the thing. I wrote something kinda porny about werewolves and uh well maybe if you change some things you could use it." His cheeks are bright red and he's looking at the floor instead of at Jensen.Jensen puts down the cans of Coke he was taking from the fridge. "What?"Jared sighs. "I wrote a porny fan fiction about Teen Wolf and it's pretty good if you go by the kudos and comments it's gotten and you can read it and maybe you can use some of it." His words come out so fast that Jensen is left blinking and trying to catch up.Jared taps on his phone. "Here. I sent you the link. I mean it's fan fiction so you can't use the characters names but the rest of the story is original. Just read it and let me know what you think." He walks out of the kitchen toward the front door."Where are you going?""Home. I can't sit here while you read it. It's too embarrassing." He stops and kisses Jensen's cheek. "Let me know when you're done and maybe we can work together to change it enough to make it work for Sheppard."

Two hours later, Jared gets a text:
Come over now.Jensen pulls him through the door before he can knock twice. He keeps pulling Jared into the room until he shoves him onto a chair. Jared is wide eyed and his mouth is gaping like a fish in his confusion. "What?"Jensen crouches in front of him, spreading Jared's knees so that he can lean into Jared's space. "Dude, that was fuckin' hot," he whisper growls as he captures Jared's mouth in a kiss. "I had no idea you had so many dirty thoughts in that honor student brain of yours." His hands go to Jared's hips and he tugs him forward, to the edge of the chair and Jared whines as his crotch is brought against Jensen's.Jensen's mouth leaves Jared's to nip at his jaw and suck a kiss into his neck. "I thought I was corrupting you," he breathes into Jared's ear, "but you're so fucking dirty." He thrusts his tongue into Jared's mouth in a fevered messy, demanding kiss.Jared wraps his legs around Jensen to hold him tight. He can feel Jensen's erection grinding alongside his own.Jensen breaks for air. "Fuck, all I could think was my sweet, gentle, virgin wrote this," he whispers against Jared's neck, his breath hot. He rocks into Jared making the boy moan. "When they fuck in the woods," he sucks on Jared's neck then adds, "I pictured us out there. You on your hands and knees begging for it like that kid in your story did." He pulls his shirt over his head and tugs on Jared's until his is tossed aside, too. "It got me so hard." His hands move to Jared's waistband. "Can I blow you? I really want to blow you."Jared nods and together they tug his jeans down his legs and off. Jensen immediately wraps his hand around Jared's cock and strokes. "Fuck, yeah, Jared, I love your dick." He works his hand over Jared's cock quickly making it harden more and leans down to paint his lips with the tip. He sticks out his tongue to tease the slit and lap at the crown. Above him, Jared whimpers and clutches at the arms of the chair to stop himself from thrusting into the wet heat of Jensen's mouthJensen flattens his tongue against the base of Jared's dick and runs it up the length as if he's licking drips of melting ice cream. He swirls his tongue around the crown and then swallows all of Jared down in one go, making Jared gasp and thrust his hips. The move doesn't seem to bother Jensen. He keeps bobbing his head over Jared's length and swallowing around his cock.Jared squeezes his eyes shut. He's panting and thrusting his hips, trying desperately not to fuck into Jensen's mouth yet chasing that perfect wet heat. Jensen's grip tightens on Jared's hips and he looks down into Jensen's eyes. He watches his cock slide between those perfect lips and electricity zings through his body as Jensen's tongue caresses him. Every muscle becomes taut, his toes curl, his stomach flexes and tightens. His breath can't come fast enough and he knows he's making crazy sounds but he doesn't care. Jensen is making him mad with need, with lust, with the desire to never stop fucking into his mouth. His balls feel harder and tighter somehow and he knows he's going to come.Jared combs a hand through Jensen's hair. His hips thrust against Jensen's hold on them and he practically shouts as his orgasm runs through him. Jensen's eyes flutter closed as he swallows every last drop, sucking until Jared whines above him. Jared's vision grays; he's so light headed he collapses back into the chair breathing like he just ran a marathon.

When he recovers enough to open his eyes, Jared sees Jensen naked and laying on the floor. His face is flushed and his chest is heaving with every breath. He's staring at Jared and cupping his balls with one hand and stroking his cock with the other. "Jared, fuck, I love watching you come like that."Jared slides off the chair onto the floor next to him. "Need a hand with that?" he teases dragging his fingertips up the inside of Jensen's thigh."D-do you wanna touch me, Jared? Wanna make me explode and make a mess all over myself?"Jared's fingers keep trailing up Jensen's body. Over the hands working his cock, over his flat stomach, to circle a nipple. Jared leans down and sucks the other nipple into his mouth then flicks it with his tongue.Jensen arches off the floor and moans. "Fuck, Jared, yes, fuck."Jared tugs on Jensen's nipple then lets his hand wrap around the one Jensen has on his dick. He kisses and sucks his way from Jensen's chest to his neck. He scrapes his teeth over Jensen's earlobe and whispers, "If I tell you not to come, can you wait? Can you keep yourself right at that edge until I tell you to come for me?"Jensen's hips thrust off the floor and he whines. His hand stops its stroking and squeezes his dick. He closes his eyes and holds his breath for a moment, blowing it out slowly."Look at me," Jared whispers. Jensen obeys, his breath stuttering as he opens his eyes. "You are so fucking hot," Jared takes Jensen's mouth in an eager kiss. Jensen's hand leaves his dick to card through Jared's hair and hold him close.They kiss until Jared starts to cramp from holding his weight over Jensen. He finally pulls back with a satisfied smirk on his face.Jensen stretches up to chase after Jared's kiss, but Jared's hand on his chest holds him in place. Jared skims his hand down the planes of Jensen's body to brush over his erection. "How long can you stay hard?" he whispers, adoring the flush and twitch of Jensen's dick.Jensen gasps. "Not long if you keep that up."Jared's hand flies from Jensen's cock like it's been burned. "So you liked my story?" he asks innocently, moving away from Jensen and pulling on his boxers."What?" Jensen squeaks, the sudden subject change throwing him. "Uh, yeah, it was really good. For the most part." He reaches for his clothes but Jared shoves them away."Stay naked and what do you mean 'for the most part'?" Jared demands.Jensen scowls. "What the fuck are you playing at, Jared? Give me my clothes.""Tell me what you liked about my fic and what you think I could have done better. Then, if you want them you can have them."Jensen huffs. "Fine." He pushes himself up and rests against the couch. "I get that it's fanfic so most of your readers know who everyone is and what they look like, but I didn't so it was hard to picture them." He grabs a pillow to cover himself but thinks better of it as it might overstimulate him. "The plot was great and kept my interest. The sex scenes were hot, except where it was obvious that you were describing something that never happened to you."Jared's face wrinkles at the criticism. "Is that because you know me and know I'm a virgin or was it really obvious?"Jensen shrugs. "It wasn't 'really obvious', but like the blow job scene. You had Stiles suck Derek back to hardness right after blowing him. And, well, just no way. Your dick is too sensitive right then and as much as you want it, you kinda don't." Jared pouts at that but his own sensitive dick tells him it's true. "The fucking in the woods part? Yeah that was hot but probably not as great as you made it seem for Stiles. I don't remember reading anything about lube and that Derek guy was huge. But, the way Derek tore Stiles clothes off and Stiles wanted it just as bad and begged and submitted …" he trails off and studies Jared for a moment. When he continues his voice has dropped an octave and his eyes are hooded. "Is that what you want from me, Jared? You wanna fuck me into submission? Make me beg for that big dick of yours? Make me take it?"Jared's eyes bug out. "What? No! I mean don't get me wrong, I'd love to fuck you and I'm kinda liking making you hold off your orgasm. But, I kinda always thought I'd bottom for you."As Jared speaks, Jensen strokes himself again, slowly, lazily, like he doesn't even know he's doing it. Jared's eyes track the motion and he blushes but doesn't look away. "Jared, if I didn't have this deadline looming over me, I'd spend the next three days worshiping that perfect ass of yours. We'd fuck in every position your dirty mind can think of.""Don't come," Jared whispers. He sees a bead of pre-come form and licks his lips. He drags his gaze from Jensen's dick to meet his eyes. "Wait. Stop touching yourself and wait.""Wait for what?" he asks but does as he's told and drops his hand from his cock."Wait until we write five thousand words. Then, as your reward, I'll blow you."Jensen sucks in a breath at the promise. "Fuck, yeah, okay." He slowly exhales. "I'm not gonna concentrate on staying hard the whole time, but with that reward in mind it'll probably just happen."On Friday, Jared feels like he's tipping back on two chair legs, nearly toppling, all day. He and Jensen spent the last two days writing and outlining and Jensen is confident that they have enough for Sheppard. Whether Sheppard likes it and hires him is only one reason for Jared's nerves.Then there's the promise of sex this weekend. They reached their goal Tuesday night, and Jared gave his first blow job. It wasn't as easy as Jensen made it look, but Jensen was very encouraging. He stopped it before Jared would have to decide to swallow or not and came on Jared's chest and face (even avoiding Jared's eyes). Each evening, Jensen taught him about sex. Sometimes sending him links to websites, sometimes demonstrating them. Jared knows it might hurt a little his first time, but if anyone is capable of making it feel good, it's Jensen.Finally, as if he needed more anxiety in his life, the scholarship committee's decision will be announced today. Jared allowed Jensen's drama to take his mind off Stanford, but he can't do that any longer. That afternoon, the website goes live with the names of the scholarship winners. If his name's not on there, his hopes for next year are over.He checks the time and only a few minutes have gone by. Jensen might still be meeting with Sheppard - whose offices are an hour away- so Jared can't call him. If Jensen is driving, Jared knows he won't answer. So no matter how desperate Jared is to hear Jensen's reassuring voice, it's not an option.A distraction is needed. Aware the best diversion is sex, Jared studies one of the websites Jensen shared with him. Being completely prepared for sex will ease his anxiety, or so he hopes. Unfortunately, the site makes him more nervous. Should he have been watching his diet? Should he have been using plugs to help him stretch? Does he need an enema?! After a week of talking about it, he knew Jensen was looking forward to actually fucking, but maybe he's not ready for anal sex.
Jared's metaphorical chair wobbles dangerously close to completely tipping over when the notification chimes the scholarship announcement.He doesn't know how he'll tell his parents. They were so proud when he was accepted, even though a scholarship is the only way they can afford to send him there. Jared doesn't want to disappoint them, but his name is not on the list.With nerves turning his stomach, Jared rushes to the bathroom and vomits. Perfect ending to a perfect day. He's disappointing his boyfriend and his parents, just perfect. He brushes his teeth and splashes water on his face, but his ashen reflection doesn't improve.
There are voices from downstairs and soon a soft knock on his bedroom door. Jensen peeks his head in. "Jare?""I'll be right out!" he calls from the bathroom. Might as well rip this band-aid off and start the disappointment train rolling.Jensen is beaming from ear to ear and grabs Jared in a hug that lifts him off his feet. "He loved it! He loved everything about it and he's commissioning five more!""That's great, Jen," Jared replies missing the expected enthusiasm enough to make Jensen drop the hug and study him.He sees Jared's sallow expression and cups his cheeks in his hands. "What's wrong? Why do you look like your world is over?"Jared closes his eyes to Jensen's brutal scrutiny. "Nothing."Jensen's thumbs brush over Jared's cheekbones. When he speaks his voice is soft and persuasive. "Jared, I've told every dark detail of my life. Please trust me and tell me what's wrong."Jared sighs, exhaling some of his tension. "I didn't get the scholarship. I can't go to Stanford."Jensen pulls him into a quick hug. "Oh my god, all week you've been putting up with my bullshit and you had this hanging over you?" He steps out of the embrace, taking Jared's hand and leading him to sit on the bed. "I'm so sorry, Jared. Those people on the committee are idiots. Stanford doesn't deserve you."Jared gives him a weak half-smile. "Thanks. I'm not sure my folks will agree. They had their hearts set on this and now I get to disappoint them."Jensen sits back. "Jared, you're wrong. First, your parents are amazing. They might be disappointed you aren't going to Stanford, but they won't be disappointed in you." He kisses Jared's hand. "Second, Stanford was your dad's dream, not yours. Once you decide what you want to do, they'll support you.""Yeah, maybe." Jared shrugs, still looking defeated."No 'maybe' about it. Look at how your mom helped me with my resumé and how your dad helped me that night with the police. They did that because they love you and trust you. They figured if you like me, I must not be too bad."Jared nearly smiles at that. "Yeah, well, you're you and I'm their son. It's different."Jensen sighs, unwilling to let Jared dampen his mood, "I know it's not enough to pay for Stanford but," he pulls a folded paper from his pocket and hands it to Jared.Jared takes it and unfolds it and his mouth falls open. "Five thousand dollars? Why do you have a check made out to me for five thousand dollars?""Like I told you, Sheppard liked our story. He's commissioned five more because he's certain he can develop them for distribution." Jensen pulls some cards from his pocket. "Here. He gave me some cards for agents and lawyers for us to talk to so we can negotiate a fair contract. The five grand is like a down payment."Jared takes a moment to take it all in. "Why is it to me and not you?"Jensen looks incredulous. "Because it's yours! You helped, you get half. I got one too, only I deposited mine so I can make my car payment." He pushes at Jared's shoulder. "Maybe your new job will help cushion the blow when you tell your parents about the scholarship.""Come on." He stands and pulls Jared off the bed. "Go tell your folks the news. Then I'm taking you out to dinner to celebrate. And then," he stands behind Jared and guides him to the door with hands on his hips. He places a small kiss just below Jared's ear and whispers, "We're gonna do all those things your dirty little mind came up with."Jared stops moving and Jensen crashes into him. "Yeah, about that." Jared turns and the worry is back on his face. "I don't know if I can do it."Confused, Jensen steps back. "Do what?"Jared bows his head so he won't see Jensen's disappointment. "It. I don't think I'm ready."Jensen puts a finger under Jared's chin to lift his face, and smiles softly. "Okay. Then we won't. I never want you to do something you don't want to do. Can I still take you to dinner? I'd like to treat you to something nice to celebrate.""You're not mad? Disappointed?"Everything about Jensen suddenly softens as he realizes that Jared has been worried about that. "Jared, never," he whispers before cupping his cheek and kissing him. Jared's anxiety evaporates as Jensen's kiss reassures him.

"Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry. You must be so disappointed," Sheri says when Jared tells them about the scholarship. She hugs him and gives him a small smile."Yeah," Jared sighs."Hey, don't be too down on yourself," Jared's dad says. "Stanford is a good school, but you'll be great wherever you go. You don't need Stanford."Jared turns to his dad in shock. "Really? I thought for sure you'd be disappointed.""I am. But not in you, Jared, never in you." He gives Jared a bear hug and pats his back. "Now, Jensen said he had news that he had to share with you before telling us. So? What's up, guys?"Jared and Jensen exchange looks but Jensen nods encouraging Jared to tell his parents. "Jensen sold a script we wrote together and the guy is interested in five more. He's paying us five thousand dollars!"Jared's parents whoop and squeeze Jared again but Jensen holds up his hand to stop them. "No, Jared, that's not, I guess I didn't explain it right. That five grand was for the first one. We have to meet with the agents and lawyers, but we'll get paid more for each new episode."Jared stares at him dumbstruck.Jared's dad looks from Jensen to Jared "You mean that silly creative writing is actually paying off?""It's not silly," Jensen counters. "Jared's a really good writer."Taken aback by Jensen's defensive words, Gerald smirks. "I wasn't trying to offend. I simply meant that it was something he wasn't serious about. But now, it looks very serious."Jared grins. "Yeah. I think I should study writing at Greendale Community College. I hear they have a decent program."Jensen looks surprised and smiles fondly at him. "That's where I'm going for my social work classes.""Looks like you, two will be going to school together this fall," Sheri adds barely hiding her amusement.Jared and Jensen haven't stopped grinning at each other. "Maybe we should go out to celebrate," Jared suggests."Yeah, you boys do that," Sheri says steering them toward the door. "See you in the morning," she whispers in Jared's ear just before he leaves.With his anxiety put to rest, Jared is giddy the rest of the evening. He stumbles over what to order at the restaurant as he recalls the information on the website, but Jensen tells him to order anything he wants. So he devours the biggest steak on the menu. And a salad, potato and dessert. Jensen sits back in awe at the amount of food Jared can eat in one sitting. "Dude, this is not your last meal.""I know. I'm just starving. I haven't really had anything since breakfast. I'm curious about something you said earlier.""Okay, what did I say?""Are you going to write or are you going to become a social worker and work with at risk kids?""I don't know." Jared's question hits him unexpectedly. "I love writing and working with you was awesome." He pauses, pouting as he thinks. "And well, I guess we do have a job, don't we?""Maybe you can do both. Volunteer at a shelter, see if you like it." Jared offers him an encouraging smile. "After we're rich and famous you can donate money to different programs."Jensen smirks, amused by Jared's suggestion. "Are you serious about community college?""Yeah, I think it'll help hone my craft, ya know? And it will be cool to be in school with you.""I'm not so sure. You'll probably be such a distraction I end up flunking out my first semester," Jensen teases. He sips an espresso when Jared's dessert arrives. Changing the subject he adds, "My aunt comes back in a few days."The fork of death by chocolate stops half way to Jared's mouth. "Are you moving out?""Not right away, but eventually. Maybe I can find a place near the campus." He drags a finger through the condensation on his water glass. "I just wanted you to know because obviously we can't lay around the living room naked anymore."Color rises in Jared's cheeks at the memories of Jensen naked nearly all the time while they wrote."So no more blow jobs on that giant chair?"Jensen chuckles. "Or in the kitchen."Jared nods and licks his fork clean of dessert. "We better make the most of tonight then."Watching Jared lick his fork has Jensen asking for the check."I know you're nervous, but you don't have to be." They're back at Jensen's aunt's house and Jensen is leading Jared up the stairs. "Fucking feels good, but so does everything else we do. I love just being naked with you and touching you. I don't need more, okay?"Jared exhales and some of his stress flows out with the breath. "I know. But you've been with a lot of people and I want to make you as happy as they did. I don't want you to feel like you're missing something-"Jensen stops abruptly to face him. "Don't. Don't ever feel that way." Jared opens his mouth to speak but Jensen stops him with a finger against his lips. "Jared, I was paid to be with those other people. They meant nothing more than a paycheck." He stares into Jared's eyes, cupping his cheeks in his hands. "You mean the world to me."

Two months later
"Hey, I finished hooking up everything in the living room, the tv and router and shit. Want me to take these empty boxes out of here?" Jared asks. He's leaning against the door jamb of Jensen's bedroom in his new apartment which is six blocks from campus."Yeah, sure. Wait!" Jensen looks up from his mess of IKEA parts. "Do you see one of these over there?" He holds up a small metal rod.Jared looks around as he gathers and collapses the boxes. "No. Don't see one." But when he grabs the last box they hear something rattle, fall and roll. "It's here by your bed." He sets the boxes down and hands the piece to Jensen. "I'll take these out to recycling. Back in a sec."When Jared returns, Jensen has finished assembling his dresser and is unpacking a suitcase into the empty drawers. "Hey, I'm nearly done here. Wanna order a pizza or something? Then maybe we can christen the new bed." He waggles his eyebrows comically at Jared."Yeah, no. I think I'm gonna head home, get cleaned up, let you finish up here. I'll come by later, okay?""Why?" Jensen stops unpacking and studies him for a moment. "What's wrong? You've been acting weird all day. You can barely stand to be in a room with me for more than a minute? Did I do something? Are you mad at me or something?"Jared fidgets, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. "No, of course not. Nothing's wrong. I just thought you'd want to get settled and I'd go clean up. I stink from doing all your heavy lifting."Jensen rolls his eyes. "Dude, just shower here. Aunt Kate gave me a bunch of super nice towels. And," he brushes past Jared to cross the hall to the bathroom. He opens the small closet and sets shampoo and bodywash and towels on the counter. "I've got everything you need." He moves past him again, ignoring the fact that Jared isn't moving. "You can even borrow some shorts and a t-shirt." Jensen rustles through his new dresser until he finds what he's looking for and hands the clothes to Jared.Jared accepts the clothes with a sigh but doesn't make a move toward the bathroom. He sees no way to leave without giving Jensen an embarrassing explanation, so he may as well embarrass himself. He runs a hand through his hair and sets the clothes on the newly made dresser. "Okay, so here's the thing." He takes a deep breath, looks Jensen straight in the eye and says, "I wanted today to be special. I hoped we would be breaking in that new bed or your new couch."Jensen grins. "Yeah, me too."Jared nods. "So I kinda started to prep for our big day and I thought maybe I should go home to finish, ya know?" His cheeks have turned a lovely shade of pink and he looks away.Jensen blinks as his mind races through scenarios of what Jared means by 'prep'. "Wha -what did you do?" His hands go to Jared's waist because he has to be touching him.Jared's cheeks turn impossibly pinker with Jensen being so close and staring up at him. "I'm wearing a plug," he whispers.The temperature in the room must have risen fifty degrees with his words. Jared is still blushing and sweating from the work and from Jensen's scrutiny, but Jensen is suddenly sweating, too. "You are? Can I see?""What? No!" Jared backs into the dresser but hazards a glance at Jensen. "You want to see?"Jensen's eyes rove from Jared's crotch to his face to his crotch again and he nods. "Yeah. Please?""But I'm gross and sweaty.""So what? I'm gross and sweaty. Sex is gross and sweaty. Please, Jared, let me see."Jared tucks his thumbs in the waistband of his shorts shoving them down to his thighs. Then, slowly, he turns his back toward Jensen and bends just enough for him to see the tug at the base of the plug.Jensen sinks to his knees and grips Jared's ass in his hands so his thumbs can spread the cheeks to give him a better view. "Holy fuck, Jared. Have you been wearing this all day?""Yeah. And a couple hours yesterday."Jensen palms his own dick at that reply. The finger of his other hand traces around the base of the plug. "I'm gonna take it out, okay?" Jared nods and Jensen tips the plug so it brushes against Jared's prostate making him groan. He slides it out as gently as he can. The plug isn't big and he's relieved to see that Jared used a lot of lube, but he's so hard he just wants to fuck into him. "Jared." His voice is husky with lust and he's pulling off his clothes before Jared can even reply.He pulls open the top drawer of the new dresser retrieving condoms and lube. Then he takes Jared's hand and puts it on his dick. "Feel how hard you got me. Fuck Jared, I'mma gonna need to wear two condoms just so I can last long enough to make it worth it for you."Jensen slips his hands under Jared's shirt so he can ease it over his head. He kisses Jared's neck, licking the salty skin. Jensen's chest, slick with sweat, presses against Jared's back. He wraps his arms around Jared so he can stroke his cock while his own dick rides the cleft of Jared's ass. "Pour some of that lube in my hand." He holds out his hand and Jared complies and Jensen's slick hand works Jared's dick. He keeps rocking his hips so that his cock continues gliding between Jared's ass cheeks.Finally he puts his hand between Jared's shoulder blades and pushes to get him to bend over."No." Jared breaks out of Jensen hold. "I wanna see you."Jensen kisses him. "But for your first time this might be more comfortable.""No. For my first time, I wanna see you. I trust you, but I want to see the man I love when we fuck for the first time."Jensen swallows reigning in the emotions Jared's words stir in him. "Okay. Get on the bed." Jared lays on his back and pulls his legs up nearly to his chest. Jensen grabs the lube, a condom and one of the discarded towels. He folds the towel and puts it under Jared's ass to raise it up a little more. "Touch yourself. Get nice and hard for me." Jensen watches one of Jared's giant hands work his dick. "You are so fucking perfect, Jared." He rolls on the condom and pours a generous amount of lube over his cock and into his hand.He gently rubs a finger on Jared's hole covering it with lube. Then he carefully eases his middle finger into Jared. He keeps his eyes focused on Jared's and when Jared smiles up at him Jensen can't help but grin back. He preps Jared slowly, carefully, kissing him and whispering softly against Jared's lips, checking if he's okay as a second finger joins the first. He scissors them to help with the stretch, but Jared feels pretty relaxed. He rubs over Jared's prostate to remind him of how good it will feel when he's being fucked.Jared groans, "Fuck yes. Fuck me already."Jensen grips Jared's legs behind the knees, puts one leg on his shoulder and then guides his dick to Jared's hole. His movements are slow and careful, giving Jared time to adjust to feeling much fuller than the plug felt. When he's finally completely seated inside Jared, he remembers to breathe. "You okay?""Yeah," Jared says with a small smile. "I can't believe we're doing this."Jensen pulls back little by little. "Fuck you feel good. I'm gonna go slow, you tell me if you want me to move faster, okay?"Jared nods and Jensen thrusts in a little faster, rubbing over Jared's prostate. Jared whines and arches his neck as new sensations rush through him. "Oh my god, that was so much better than -" He breaks off in a gasp as Jensen strokes over it again.Jensen stares into his eyes. He hopes Jared realizes how much this means to him. He's overwhelmed to be Jared's first, to have Jared's trust and love. He's so happy his skin tingles. He wants to say something romantic or sweet, but all his brain can think of is porn dialogue."Touch yourself some more. I wanna feel you come while I'm buried inside you." Jensen is dripping with sweat due to restraining himself and holding Jared's legs. He rolls his hips, fucking in and out smoothly and slowly, trying to make the moment last.Jared whimpers. "Fuck me harder. Please," Jared begs. "Just fuck me.""Yeah, okay." Jensen shifts his hold on Jared's legs and begins thrusting in earnest. His hips slapping against Jared's ass is nearly as loud as Jared's punched out moans and his own grunts.Jared's legs twitch and his moaning turns to a higher pitch. "Come for me, Jared. You're so fucking beautiful when you come." Jared does then. Letting loose strand after strand until he's covered with it and shaking. His muscles clench around Jensen.Jensen can feel his balls tighten, his stomach muscles quiver, every nerve ending shivers and even though he's wearing a condom, it feels like every bit of energy he has is rushing through his cock. Jensen shudders through his own release a moment later.His last few working brain cells have him pulling out and detangling from Jared. He rolls to his side and disposes of the condom before collapsing next to Jared. He shudders again, an aftershock of his mind blowing orgasm."Oh my god," Jared pants. "That was amazing. Why did I wait so long to do that?" He turns to look at Jensen. "Thank you, for waiting for me and for being so good to me. We should do that again, like all the time."Jensen yawns. "Sure, babe, but first I'm going to need to hydrate. And maybe some food." He tugs the towel from under Jared and wipes the come off his chest."When I first met you, I thought it would be fun to tease the shy little gay boy next door. You blush so adorably. But it turned out you were smart and funny and kind and thoughtful and I," Jensen looks down, blushing himself, "I never thought I'd fall in love."Jared sits up and cradles Jensen's face in his hands and kisses him because he has no words. Jensen has given him everything he has ever wanted and he's so happy he can't speak. When he pulls back he meets Jensen's eyes. "Of course you were gonna fall for me. I'm awesome."Jensen shoves him back down. "Idiot."Jared grabs Jensen's wrist and pulls him on top of him and into another kiss. "'m your idiot."Jensen smiles into the kiss. "Yeah, you are."