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Akashi Seijuurou first time ever attempting love was when he is in middle school. Once was a girl that confessed to him, it didn't end up really well. One time he made a move to one of his father collages' daughter, and it end with failure. Another time he met up with blind date his teammate throw at him, and as expected it failed miserably. These made Seijuurou understand that he is not really fond of woman.The only time he made a move to man was when he met Kuroko Tetsuya. He is smaller the him and his face passed his liking. On top of it he has beautiful smile even though he rarely showed it, and he has kind heart and great character. There's no way Seijuurou doesn't like him.His little crush over the phantom stay over until he is in highschool.No one noticed. No one know. No one ever care to think about it. The fact that he has hurt Kuroko made it worse, no one would dare to think that the ex-captain of Teikou Highschool's basketball team hold a huge crush for Kuroko.As time goes by, his feeling grow. Bigger than he ever imagined, deeper than he planned. The feeling goes uncontrolable, and quickly, Seijuurou realize that he is in love with Kuroko. The one who changed him, the one who has beautiful heart for never giving up, the one who even after everything Seijuurou did, still stand firmly and changed him back.Seijuurou knew that he doesn't deserve Kuroko, after all things he did, after hurting the love of his life. So he stay quiet. Watching over the phantom in silence and secret. Hoping that this raging feeling wouldn't stay long after knowing that he didn't deserve Kuroko and really need to stop himself before falling to deep.Yet Seijuurou, in his 2nd year of college still hold strong feeling towards Kuroko. Instead, his heart falling even deeper and deeper in love. Never once he let go, nor giving up. He still hope that one day he and Kuroko will become together, happily ever after.If I can't have Kuroko, then no one could, he thought. Only to get smashed really hard by reality. The simple Christmas Party that being held in Kagami's apartement was spectacular. The spacious room was packed with the still-closed-after-college basketball team member from many highschool. Seijuurou already used to this view that he even laugh over Takao Kazunari's hilarious joke or Izuki Shun's lame joke or Murasakibara's gluttony over the Christmas cake and every sweets one the table or Kise's weep after getting Kasamatsu's present.It was peaceful and warm night.Until something happen that made his vision fuzzy and his head dizzy. "Uh... me and Kuroko... has been dating for years a-and... we plan to go to A-Amerika after we graduate." The movement in the room stilled. Everyone seem shocked with the statement that Kagami tell, before Momoi and Reo finally brightened the atmosphere with them hugging both Kagami and Kuroko. Then everyone proceed to laugh and the mood warmed up and brigther than before.Everyone is happy and wishing for their happinessBut not with Seijuurou.It feels like the time stopped and Seijuurou's world is crumbling down. He could taste a bitter flavour on top of his tounge and his head went dizzy. Every inch of his body screaming pain and his breath feel like burning in his throat. He could hear the obvious crack sound that his heart produce, he even feel his power left his body.Everything died, Seijuurou's love, Seijuurou's life, Seijuurou's love life.Kuroko Tetsuya has occupied every inch of Akashi Seijuurou's mind and body. Kuroko practically have the redhead's everything so imagine when it all gone. Seijuurou was no other than empty shell without soul. He was nothing and won't be anything.His breath hitched when he heard someone mention about engaged and marriage. At that moment he just want to leave the room, burried himself in the pile of freezing snow outside, never be found. Or he could jumped off from Kagami's balcony and died right then, maybe he could considered ruining this happiness atmosphere by being angry and then killing himself later.Everything is fine, he's already dead inside after all. ××× "Congratulations, Kagami, Kuroko," he smiled. Full of lie and bullshit and everything but truth, but he did it anyway. "I'm happy for both of you and wishing for your happiness.""Thank you, Akashi-kun," his Kuroko smiled brightly. As if he is the happiest human on the earth, as if he didn't just breaking someone else's heart.Kagami Taiga mumbled a quick 'thanks', but Seijuurou couldn't hear him at all. As all he heard was how his heart shattered completely and could not be fixed. ×××
It didn't bleed, yet he feels like dying.
××× "You are not happy at all."Someone made a comment at him after he congratulated Kuroko and Kagami. It took Seijuurou by surprised to think that someone notice through his act, so he moved his attention from the couple at the center to his side.Seijuurou was expecting someone with tremendous and exceptional observation skill like Himuro and Takao, or maybe his ex-teammate who spend lot of time with him like Generation of Miracle, or perhaps his senpai who knows pretty much everything about him like Mayuzumi and Mibuchu.But instead he saw Furihata Kouki.Seijuurou remembered him as the chihuahua that the Seirin's Coach put after him in highschool final match. And Seijuurou certain that there's nothing superb about this boy. He is a plain guy who got invited here just because his house was closed by and he is Seirin teammate. Nothing more. Furihata Kouki merely a background character who no one paid attention to.And even after those facts, Seijuurou is paying full attention towards the brunette right now."And what made you think so?" He asked as quiet as he can. Never planning to ruin this happiness with being careless about his own feeling.Kouki froze. Staring blankly at Seijuurou and got paler as the time ticking. No one cared to watch how the brunette bite his lips and looking at his finger with nearly letting some tears fall from his eyes. No one cared to pay attention towards all the breaking heart in every happy ever after.Seijuurou understood it all.After enough time to collect himself, Kouki suddenly beam up in spur of second, "T-they are such pretty couple. I... honestly like them since my days in Seirin." He said, and a small smile show up. In total opposite, his eyes never smile and clouded with tears of pain.Furihata Kouki did not answering Seijuurou's question at all, but it was enough. At least for Seijuurou who suffered the same pain in his chest, where his heart belong and did not bleed but ache so much.Heartbroken sounds too delicate, but it really describe them at then moment.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Kouki got in trouble with some dangerous schoolyankee on his first day at highschool. It's not like it was the first time ever, in fact it has already been a routine for Kouki. Being bullied for his entire school life is not a surprising things anymore. As if it was the most natural thing, considering we are talking about Furihata Kouki who is meek, shy, and everything but brave or strong.Thus, until Kagami Taiga came in and help Kouki out. Beating the crap of everyone and saving him. Him. Who is meek and shy and ordinary and weak human being that Kagami should've never paid attention to. Kouki already crying hard when Kagami saved him, asking how he should pay him back after the thing he had done for Kouki. The taller only grinned and pat Kouki's hair saying,
"Become strong."
Kagami's broad back look beautiful, as if it was a million dollars painting. It made Kouki breathless and dizzy. His small grin, on other hand, looked funny but was enough to sent Kouki flying to the sky. His voice was dark and low, but not scary at all. Instead it drown Kouki with safe feeling. ××× That day, Kouki found his hero.And so, Kouki decide to join basketball club. Using finding girlfriend as his excuse, he made a lie. ××× He wished he was not Furihata Kouki. ××× In the end, someone as plain as him won't stand a chance with someone as splendid as the Seirin Phantom. The fact that Kouki loves Kagami alone already sound ridiculous, let alone thinking that he can beat someone like Kuroko. The protagonist of every story, the great main character that always had happily ever after ending.Not that Kouki could complain being a background character in everyone life, even in his own life. It has always been like that.No one actually knows about him loving the redhead. No one figures out his attitude with the ace and only thought it was form of adoration after saving him from bullies.More like no one really care about him.Until that day come. "Uh... me and Kuroko... has been dating for years a-and... we plan to go to A-Amerika after we graduate." Kouki's smile never fade. Even though everyone in the room made a shocked face, but not with Kouki. He has been watching this couple ever since highschool, through years of college, practically everytime. He won't be surprised again even if they announced they are engaged or even going married.Not when everytime he looked at them, he wish he was there, beside Kagami, spending all of his times with him. Or when he wished that he was something like Kuroko that equal to the redhead. Or when he wished he hadn't fall in love with Kagami because it is hurting every part of him.Kouki is tired of everything.He was no one, but he wished to be someone. He was nothing, but he wished to be something. He was nobody, but he wished he was somebody.Everything is hurting him. ××× And then, there stood Akashi Seijuurou. With his flashy clothes, flashy hair, and extravagantsmile that stood at the center of the room. He congratulated the couple with warm smile and great words, but when he turn his back from the couple, all Kouki could see was a desperate man.He look hurt. He look lost. He look as if his soul has gone away somewhere far.That was when Kouki conscious that he was not the only with brokenheart in this room. There stood the magnificent emperor that everyone once scared off, showing the most hurtful look Kouki ever saw. "You are not happy at all."A gasped left Kouki mouth after he realize that he just make a comment to the emperor. He quickly look up with trembling eyes, searching for some angry expression. Instead he met with sadder eyes and sore smile, Seijuurou only whisper a question, "And what made you think so?" It pierces right through his heart. Every feeling he always had, every feeling he always save. Everything pierces through his heart, making a big hole, breaking him into pieces. Damaging his already injured heart further. Not letting him inhaling some oxygen let alone thinking, because even his brain couldn't work at this point. "T-they are such pretty couple. I... honestly like them since my days in Seirin." Kouki doesn't even know whether he should cry or scream or comforting Akashi Seijuurou who suffered the same illness as him. So he just smile. Not caring if this smile was really terrible or absolutely unpleasant at all. Because there's nothing he could do with all of this heartache. He only could smile. And maybe sharing some of this sorrow with another redhead in the room who bear the same heartbreak with him, though it won't help with anything at all.