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Calum sat up and looked out the window to the left of him. He was about three stories up in the hospital but he could still see a few trees swaying in the wind and some crisp brown leaves blowing around. Despite how utterly chaotic everything had been, this was an oddly peaceful moment. This silence was cut short by a knock at the door however.
“Come in!” Calum called out, his voice being a tad weak because he was still recovering from being unconscious for a month straight.
A tall boy with vibrant orange hair that clashed with his sorrowful blue eyes entered the hospital room. “Uh, hey Cal. It’s Mikey? Do-do you remember me?”
Calum observed the boy for a moment and tried to scan the hazy memories in his brain. In the meantime, Mikey sat down on the couch right next to Calum's bed.
Mikey, Michael… Middle school? He might have played guitar, or was it drums? He's familiar, I know that much. We played Fifa! I remember playing Fifa with a Michael!
“I- you're familiar…”
Michael buried his face in his hands. “Goddammit,” he said under his breath. Michael sat up and wiped his eyes, using all of his strength to bring himself to look at Calum. “I'm uh, sorry I'm kind of sad right now and you have to see it. I know none of this is your fault. Even though you might not recognize all the people going through here right now, I feel like you've kind of gotten what's going on.”
“Yeah, I'm not supposed to because it's apparently too much for me right now but I overheard my doctor talking to my mum about what happened. He said I was in a car accident and it affected my temporal lobe, so now I have retrograde amnesia? I also have all my motor skills and stuff but I'm struggling with remembering some events and people. Even though it's fuzzy, I can sort of remember most people by name still. If I'm thinking right, you were in school with me? Did we play Fifa?”
Michael couldn't help but smile a bit. “Yeah, we played Fifa and I totally kicked your ass at it too. Can… Can I hug you?”
“Yeah, I'm not hooked up to anything anymore.”
Michael practically tackled the olive-toned boy in his bed. He held him tight, giving him all the embraces he's missed for the past month. The fiery haired boy couldn't help but cry from being so emotionally overwhelmed. After a solid five minutes, Michael finally sat up and gave Calum a bit of space.
“Sorry mate, I just… I missed you. I know you probably don't remember everything right now but we did everything together, you're like my brother. I just- I don't know what I would've done without you.”
Calum gave him a soft smile. “Yeah, I know.”
“Hey uh, Cal? I have a question.” The older boy looked into Calum's deep brown eyes with a worried expression.
“Y-yeah?”
“Do you remember someone named Ashton, or Ash?”
Calum paused for a moment and closed his eyes, scanning his blurry memories for this mystery person that Michael informed him of. He ran his hand through his dark matted hair, blonde highlights long faded.
“I uh… I-I don't remember. Everybody who's been in here has asked me that same question, you know? Obviously I get more than that one question but it always circles back and I just
can't
remember his face. Luke, my mum, even Mali-Koa keep telling me how much he-he
cared
about me but I don't know. I'm-I'm sorry.”
Michael let out a long exhale. “It's okay, it's not your fault. I uh, I have to get going Cal. See you soon?”
“Yeah, see you soon.”
Michael leaned in for a brief hug and then quickly walked out of the room. Once again, Calum was left in his peaceful but lonely isolation.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Michael stepped out of Calum's room and made his way towards where Ashton was waiting.
Deep breaths Mikey, you can't be doing this in front of Ash and you know it,
Michael thought to himself. “Hey Ash, I talked to him for a little and he-he still doesn't remember. Do you
really
still want to go in there?”
Ashton wiped his bloodshot emerald eyes. “Yeah,” he managed out. He briefly hugged the boy who's been there for him though all of this and proceeded to walk into the hospital wing.
Room 301
Hood, Calum T.
Ashton cautiously opened the door and went in. “H-hey Calum,” he said. He could feel his heart rate quickening in pace as he stumbled for words. “I-I know you don't, uh, remember me but-but I'm Ashton, or Ash?”
“Hi,” Calum responded in a sheepish tone. “Do you want to… sit down maybe?” the hospitalized boy nodded over to the plastic chair pulled up next to his bed.
“Y-yeah! Yeah, sure.” Ashton gave up on trying to hide how much of a frantic mess he was at the moment. The curly-haired boy took a seat next to Calum and quietly observed the person he hasn't seen properly in a month. His natural hair color had grown out, there was peach fuzz along his jawline, and he was at least two shades paler than Ashton remembered. Ash fidgeted with his bracelet nervously, which just so happened to draw Calum’s attention to the wrists.
“Uh, Ash? Did-did you do that recently?”
Ashton quickly grabbed at his arm to cover the harsh red lines across the base of his wrist. “N-no! Of course not! Why would you ask that? That's nothing!”
“Was it… Was it because of me?”
“Well, sort of? It's not your fault though, none of this is your fault. I just- it's really to deal with this and I can't blame you since it's not like you
chose
to forget me or
chose
to get hit by a car but it doesn't take away from how much it's been hurting. Like, you are- or uh, were, I guess, the love of my life and-and I miss that and I miss
us
and I don't know if I'm ever going to get that back. You're the reason I'm alive right now. I promised you that I would stay alive for you but if you can't even remember that then what's the point?”
Calum couldn't help but start crying. Throughout his whole time of being conscious in the past few days, he hadn't cried yet. Calum didn't shed a single tear when his sister announced that she was pregnant and and he forgot who her spouse was. He didn't cry when Michael broke down in front of him, or when Luke said that he thought Calum was going to die, but this; this boy, who he couldn't even particularly remember more than what people told him, brought him to tears.
“I'm sorry. I-I wish I could remember and I wish I could have been there and I wish I wasn't stupid enough to not look both ways and I just- I-”
“Hey hey hey, breathe. It's okay, it's not your fault. You're gonna be okay and I might be okay too, I think.” Ashton instinctively hugged him, being so accustomed to his embrace. “I love you.”
“I know,” Calum responded sadly. He couldn't bring himself to say he loved Ashton since it would hurt him more to lie when Calum didn't even remember him. Calum rubbed Ashton's back and rested his chin on his fluffy, dirty blonde hair. “I'm sorry.”
Ashton sat up on Calum's temporary bed and looked at him. He cupped his cheek, wiping a couple tears with his thumb. “You don't have anything to be sorry about, I uh, I have to go.”
“See you soon maybe?”
“Yeah, maybe.”
And with that, Calum was left alone for the second time in the day.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Calum hesitantly stepped onto Ashton's porch and rang the doorbell. A scruffy looking Ashton opened up, looking at him in complete shock. “February fifteenth,” Calum spoke up.
Ashton looked at the boy in front of him with a puzzled look. Calum looked a lot better with a clean face, newly re-bleached tips, and his usual old muscle top which was nice to see, but it didn't take away from the utter shock of seeing him for the first time in four weeks.
“I asked you out on February fifteenth last year and we were at the mall and Luke and Michael freaked out and it was really cute. Then the summer of last year is when you promised me you would stay alive. I kissed you for the first time on March first. We saw All Time Low together on August fourteenth and I surprised you with VIP tickets. Alex and Jack said we were cute and you couldn't function for a whole fifteen minutes! Things are coming back and I wanted to tell you this for a while but I waited until I could really remember everything.”
Once again, Ashton hugged him for the first time in a month. He rested his chin on Calum's shoulder, taking in the person that he missed so dearly. This happened once before since the time that Calum woke up, but this was different. This was
real.
Ashton couldn't help but grin. “It's good to have back Cal, I missed you.”
“I missed me too,” Calum retorted. Calum let go of Ashton for a moment to kiss him lightly.
“I love you so goddamn much,” the older boy announced.
“I love you too.”
And this time, Calum meant it.