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Seok-jin surveyed the speciality hand-tailored suit hanging in front of his wardrobe with a proud smile. If someone had told him two years ago that St. Laurent would be contacting him personally asking to design his suit for one of Seok-jin's boyfriend's award shows, he would have asked them what drugs were they taking and where he could get some. These past two years had been a blur for him and Ji-min. Their dreams had taken off like a wildfire consuming everything and anything in its path. There was no way that either of them could have prepared for the widespread success that they had both achieved. He turned to look over at the accessories that had been sent with the suit, eyes gliding over all of the bits of silver to lock onto a dart. He smiled and picked up the old playing piece. The dart pulled him back into the past, back to the first time, the first time he’d made Ji-min smile.(-)
His fingers plucked haphazardly at the strings of his guitar and his voice trembled in frustration. Why was no one listening? He had worked so hard to even get this spot. The manager of the bar was not one for giving people chances unless they paid a hefty fee. He had hoped that he would make his money back in the performance but so far, it didn’t seem like he was going to have money for food this week.
Seok-jin let out a large sigh and slipped the guitar onto its stand and walked off stage for a small break. He slid into a stool in front of the bartender who greeted him with a clap and an earth-shattering smile. The boy’s smile was so wide and genuine that his eyes formed crescents. Was he clapping for Seok-jin?
“That was beautiful!” The boy’s voice was light and airy, angel-like.
“Are you talking to me?” Seok-jin asked in confusion, glancing around.
“Of course I am,” the boy laughed. “Do you see anyone else in front of me?”
Seok-jin quickly surveyed his surroundings. “I guess not.” Seok-jin unleashed one of his patent smirks. He knew he was handsome and he knew how to work it.
“So what will it be Mr. Musician?” The boy asked as he wiped down the bar in front of him.
“Just water please, I have to go back soon,” Seok-jin answered with a small frown. The boy had seemed unaffected by Seok-jin's smile.
“How boring,” the boy giggled. “If it were me, I would take a shot and see where the night leads.”
“You seem adventurous,” Seok-jin commented.
“Only way to be,” the boy answered as he placed down the glass in front of Seok-jin.
Seok-jin put the glass to his lips only to spit the contents back into the glass immediately. “This isn’t water!”
The boy’s face reddened with laughter. “Nope.”
Seok-jin took another tentative sip. “Did you just pour straight vodka into this glass?”
“Why yes, yes I did,” the boy nodded enthusiastically.
“And why the hell would you do that?” Seok-jin exclaimed.
“So that maybe there would be some way for me to get your number later. You’re way out of my league. The boy cocked an eyebrow and smirked suggestively at Seok-jin.
“Maybe not so far out of your league,” Seok-jin responded, with a smirk of his own. He extended his hand out towards the boy. “Kim Seok-jin”.
The boy beamed and took his extended hand. “Park Ji-min.”
(-) Seok-jin placed the dart back down on the table. He hadn’t given Ji-min his number that night. He had wanted to seem cool and aloof. A mysterious misunderstood artist that would require some work to get to know. He hadn’t wanted to seem too easy. Instead, he just made an extreme effort to save up the money to get to play in that bar as often as possible. Seok-jin let a slight chuckle escape his lips at the memory. He could have saved so much money if he hadn’t been so stubborn. He slid the slick trousers on and pulled the white button-up shirt over his wide shoulders. He began to button the shirt only to find that one of the buttons was loose. Seok-jin sighed and went to his bedside table to grab a quick needle so that he could fix it. Before he could grab his small sewing kit his fingers caught on something else, a bottle cap. His lips quirked upward; speaking of stubborn. (-)
“It’s called spin the bottle. You can’t tell me you’ve never played!” Tae-hyung laughed. “It’s like a high school requirement.”
“Well maybe some of us didn’t spend our high school years partying away. Maybe some of us focused on our studies,” Seok-jin rebutted. It’s not that he had never played spin the bottle before, it was that he had never played with a group of guys. All throughout high school he had resigned himself to remain quiet about his sexuality, he hadn’t needed one more thing working against him. All the boys hated him for his pretty face and good grades. They claimed the teachers and girls favored him. He didn’t want to give them one more thing to hold over him.
“C’mon, Seok-jin, it’ll be fun!” Ho-seok butted in.
“Are you scared Seok-jin?” That beautiful voice interrupted their discussion. That beautiful angel-like voice. Ji-min.
“What are you doing here?” Seok-jin blurted in shock.
“I was invited by my soulmate,” Ji-min responded playfully.
“Jiminie!” A shriek escaped from Tae-hyung as he ran over to throw himself onto the shorter boy.
“Tae-Tae!”” Ji-min answered swinging his arms around Tae-hyung, catching him in his arms.
“You two know each other?” Seok-jin asked in confusion.
“Known each other since grade school!” Tae-hyung answered with a big smile. “Jiminie, did you bring Yoon-gi? I know Jeong-guk will play if Yoon-gi is here.”
“Excuse me!” Ho-seok shrieked in dismay. “Are you saying my boyfriend would rather kiss Yoon-gi than me?”
“He can kiss you any old time,” Ji-min began.
“Kissing Yoon-gi would be special,” Tae-hyung finished. The soulmates gave each other a quick high-five.
“Alas, the grump did not come. Do you think Jeong-guk will still play with us?” Ji-min pouted.
“I'm sure he will. Now, who has the bottle?”
“I have some beer but it’s full.” Ji-min lifted a case of beer.
“Guess someone’ll have to drink it,” Ho-seok laughed.
“I nominate Seok-jin,” Ji-min turned and held out the bottle to him.
Seok-jin took it and twisted off the bottle cap and slid it in his pocket. “Ok, but why me?”
“You seem nervous about playing, a little alcohol might just do the trick,” Ji-min winked.
“I am not nervous!” Seok-jin countered. He was nervous. He couldn’t believe all of his friends knew Ji-min. He couldn't believe he was about to play Spin the Bottle with Ji-min. Park Ji-min. The boy with the most kissable, luscious lips imaginable. What if it landed on him? What if?
Before Seok-jin could think anymore, he slammed the beer back and began to guzzle it down.
“Woah, Jin, be careful,” Nam-joon warned looking up from his book he’d been reading in the corner. “You don’t have to drink it all at once.”
Jin quirked an eyebrow at his friend. “What? Don’t think I can handle it?”
“It’s not a thought,” Nam-joon laughed. “I know you can’t.”
“Stop it Joonie, let Jin have his fun,” Tae-hyung chastised his boyfriend.
“Yeah, let Jin have his fun,” Ji-min echoed with a smirk on his face.
Seok-jin cocked an eyebrow at Ji-min and gave him a quick wink before downing the rest of the bottle. “Looks like we are ready to play.”
“Jeong-guk get your ass in here!” Tae-hyung called as he cleared off the table.
“I’m coming,” Jeon-guk called out as he ran into the room. “Do we always have to have your parties on a school night?”
“Sorry I never remember when school is,” Tae-hyung shrugged, feigning innocence.
“And yet you scored as one of the highest in your program,” Jeong-guk muttered in disgust.
“No one can make sense of it,” Ji-min waved a hand dismissing the topic. “Now let’s begin. Who’s first?”
“Tae-hyung should go first, his idea,” Ho-seok suggested.
“Happy to,” Tae-hyung smiled and grabbed the bottle giving it a large twist. Seok-jin watched the bottle go round and round willing it to stop anywhere but on him. The bottle came to a slow stop pointing directly at Jeong-guk.
“Kookie!” Tae-hyung shrieked as he jumped up heading towards the younger boy.
Jeong-guk put his hands up in protest and Ho-seok just laughed.
“Nothing’s gonna stop him Kook, you better let him,” Ho-seok stated.
Jeong-guk’s face fell into a pout and Tae-hyung seized the moment capturing, Jeong-guk’s lips for a quick peck. As he pulled away he pinched at the younger boy’s cheeks.
“Wasn’t so bad was it?” Tae-hyung laughed as he returned to his seat.
“Looks like I’m next.” Ji-min sat up and grabbed the bottle giving it a quick spin. Seok-jin’s eyes followed that bottle in anticipation. Wait, anticipation? Did he want the bottle to land on him? He looked up and Ji-min’s eyes locked with his. Yes, he definitely wanted that bottle to land on him.
“Looks like it landed on Jin!” Tae-hyung’s voice called out.
Ji-min’s cheeks tinged red instantly as he looked down at the bottle and saw that it was indeed pointing at Seok-jin.
“Well then,” he murmured as he crawled over towards Seok-jin.
Seok-jin bit his bottom lip in anticipation. Was this really going to be his first kiss? How cliche.
“Ready?” Ji-min murmured as he leaned forward towards Seok-jin.
Seok-jin’s gaze rested heavily on Ji-min’s lips and he gave a slight nod as he closed his eyes. He pursed his lips lightly expecting there to be the pressure of Ji-min’s lips. Instead, he felt a quick peck on his nose.
Seok-jin’s eyes flew open and his brow wrinkled in confusion as Ji-min leaned back with a giggle.
“Sorry, you were just so cute. I couldn’t help myself,” Ji-min cheesed.
“Aish, if you’re not going to kiss me properly. I’m going to have to kiss you,” Seok-jin rebutted and leaning forward stole a kiss from Ji-min’s laughing mouth.
The laughter stopped and Ji-min’s lips molded against his. Seok-jin’s hand immediately wrapped over the back of Ji-min’s neck, pulling him closer as Ji-min’s hands folded into the front of Seok-jin’s shirt, holding him close. The kiss ended too quickly but felt infinite at the same time.
Seok-jin pulled away to see a red-faced Ji-min staring at him in shock.
“That’s how you’re supposed to do it,” Seok-jin added with a smirk.
(-) Thinking back to their first kiss always made him smile. Seok-jin can still remember that fluttering feeling in his stomach from that very first moment. That kiss had been the first of many, all stolen, quick, drunken kisses. It had taken almost a month before either boy had been willing to admit to true feelings for the other. Without Tae-hyung’s help it might not have happened. (-)
“Jin come quick! I think I broke Ji-min!” Tae-hyung screeched as he ran into the bar with Ji-min in tow behind him.
“What are you screeching about?” Seok-jin asked peering out overtop of his lyric notebook.
“Look, look, it’s like a magic trick anytime I mention…”
“Shut up!” Ji-min cut Tae-hyung off with his words and a quick slap to the back of the head.
“Wow I didn’t even get to say…”
“Shut up!” Ji-min exclaimed, his cheeks turning the most beautiful shade of pink.
“Wow, Jiminie, pink is your color!” Tae-hyung teased as he threw up his hands to protect his face.
“What did I say about shutting up!” Ji-min growled, attempting to jump on the shrieking Tae-hyung.
“Tae, darling, do you have a death wish?” Seok-jin drawled, as he spun the pen between his fingers looking amused at the pair.
“Always, but Jin, that’s beside the point. Ji-min has a— “
“Extremely strong arms and if you don’t want me to use them to strangle you right at this moment, you will shut up!” Ji-min hissed through clenched teeth, eyes narrowed.
“Hey, Tae-Tae, is it you creating this big commotion?” Nam-joon asked as he came out of the backroom.
“The one and only!” Tae-hyung unleashed his signature boxy smile.
“Collect your boyfriend!” Ji-min whined.
“Thought he was ‘your soulmate’! How come he becomes ‘my boyfriend’ only when he is a menace? Otherwise, it’s ‘go away Joon this is soulmate business’.” Nam-joon murmured as he walked out from behind the bar and wrapped his arm around Tae-hyung.
“Hey handsome!” Tae-hyung chirped. “I was just about to show Jin my new Ji-min trick but Jiminie isn’t cooperating.”
“New Jiminie trick?” Nam-joon quirked an eyebrow.
“Yea whenever I talk about Seok-jin his whole face turns pink!” Tae-hyung managed to squeak out before ducking behind Nam-joon for protection.
Ji-min’s face turned bright red and he fell onto the stool and covered his face with his hands.
Nam-joon looked at Ji-min with sympathy and turned to look at Seok-jin. “You got this?”
Seok-jin gave Nam-joon a quick nod and watched the bartender gather his boyfriend and push him into the back room with hushed admonitions about how you don't out peoples’ crushes.
“So?” Seok-jin began, hiding his cheshire cat smile with great effort.
“Nope. Don’t. I’m not here,” Ji-min mumbled through his arms.
“Everytime he mentions me?” Seok-jin continued.
“I don’t have a clue what he is talking about,” Ji-min countered.
“Is that why your face is still pink?” Seok-jin mused as he reached out and entangled his hand with one of Ji-min’s, pulling it away from his face.
“Jin,” Ji-min whined lightly.
“Be mine,” Seok-jin whispered.
Ji-min’s eyes widened in shock, causing Seok-jin to let out a slight chuckle. “What?”
“I said, be mine. C’mon Ji-min, we make out every other time we get drunk, we text every single day, we see each other at least once a week. I want you to be mine. And, thanks to Tae-hyung, I think you might want to be mine too.”
“But?”
“But what? Is there another guy you are making out with?”
“No!” Ji-min shrieked. “Never! I’m not that kind of person!”
“Be mine,” Seok-jin repeated.
“Be yours?” Ji-min questioned.
“Be mine.” Seok-jin nodded.
“Well as long as you’ll be mine in return,” Ji-min smiled.
“I wouldn’t have it any other way,” Seok-jin winked and pulled the boy with pink cheeks close to capture his lips with his own.
(-) Tae-hyung had not shut up for at least a month about how their relationship was all thanks to him and that they should be bowing at his feet. Ji-min had threatened to burn his one and only - at the time - Gucci tie. That had shut Tae-hyung up super fast. Seok-jin smiled and grabbed his own tie to wrap around his neck. It wasn’t Gucci but he thought Tae-hyung would still approve. He turned to face himself in the mirror and worked the material into a beautiful knot. He reached out to grab the jacket off the hook it was hanging on and hissed as his hand accidentally slid over the top of the radiator. Damn that radiator. Seok-jin almost burned his hand on the stupid thing every morning. But what had Ji-min said? ‘C’mon it’s rustic! Like our first apartment!’(-)
“Isn’t this place marvelous?” Ji-min called out as he spun around in the large empty loft.
Seok-jin looked around, taking in the loft. Marvelous would not be his choice of words. Dirty? Yes. Dingy? Yes. Small? Yes. Marvelous? No. Not at all.
“Look at the large windows! Imagine all the sunlight that will pour in,” Ji-min marveled as he ran over to the large, cobwebbed windows that spanned one side of the room from floor to the ceiling.
The loft had been created out of a run-down factory building. This room must have been the office part of the factory so that the owner could look out over the multiple smoking chimneys to see how his company was choking up the atmosphere. It took everything in Seok-jin’s power to school his face into a small smile and not a look of utter disgust.
“Can’t you just imagine, Jinnie? We will put a table here. A couch here. Ohhh and over there we could get a plant. These windows, Jinnie, they are just begging for a plant,” Ji-min rambled.
Seok-jin just stood there staring as Ji-min ran around the large space. How could he see this as something amazing?
“Jinnie?” Ji-min had paused and was staring at him now. “Why aren’t you saying anything? Don’t you like it? I thought it was perfect.”
“Ji-min,” Seok-jin began but paused. He didn’t know what to say. How could he crush his boyfriend’s heart? Especially when he was looking at him that way, with big round eyes that Seok-jin could melt into.
“Jin?” Ji-min asked again.
“It’s perfect,” Seok-jin murmured,
Ji-min launched himself forward and clung to Seok-jin in a koala bear hug. “I knew you would agree.”
Did he agree? No. Would he do anything to make Ji-min happy? One hundred percent yes. Was he utterly whipped for his boyfriend? Completely.
(-) Their first apartment had been so small and dingy but he had loved every moment he had spent with Ji-min in it. Ji-min had given it life, filled it with love and light. Seok-jin couldn’t count the number of times he had come home to all the furniture pushed aside so that Ji-min could create a dance floor in the small space. He would open the door and see Ji-min spinning, flying, moving so effortlessly, like it was the only thing his body was created for. He could watch Ji-min dance forever. He had known from the very beginning that Ji-min was special. He had told him over and over again that people from around the world would come to see him dance. His dancing was magical. His dancing brought hope. His dancing made people dream. Seok-jin’s eyes danced over to their trophy display, landing on the smallest one, Ji-min’s first one. The one that had put him on the map. The one where Big Hit had found him. (-)
Seok-jin stared at the stage. His heart was pounding. His fingers were shaking. This was the moment. The moment they had all been waiting for. The moment they find out if Ji-min had won the competition and become selected to contract with Big Hit Entertainment as one of their dancers.
“He’s so nervous,” Tae-hyung whispered as he intertwined his fingers with Seok-jin. “We need to be brave for him.”
“How could you possibly know that he’s nervous?” Seok-jin murmured, although it was quite obvious, the shorter boy rocking back and forth on the balls of the feet and running his fingers through his hair in anticipation.
“Soulmate telepathy obviously,” Tae-hyung answered with a small smirk. “Jiminie and I have the ultimate connection you know.”
“Oh do you now? I thought he and I were the ones with the connection,” Seok-jin mused.
Tae-hyung cocked an eyebrow and smiled. “All a massive deception my friend. Jiminie and I just use you and Nam-joon as a cover for our big, secret, illicit love affair.”
“I don’t know how the two of you could possibly think it’s a secret. And illicit? Really? Has Nam-joon been letting you stay up and watch rom-coms again?” Seok-jin laughed.
“No,” Tae-hyung giggled. “Kookie and I stay up late watching them in secret. Kookie doesn’t want anyone to know because he’s afraid it will ruin his image.”
“Oh his image is definitely ruined,” Seok-jin laughed.
A loud booming voice broke into their conversation, “And the winner is…”
Seok-jin squeezed Tae-hyung’s hand and closed his eyes. He couldn’t bear the look on Ji-min’s face if he didn’t win, he just couldn’t.
“Park, Ji-min!”
The crowd broke into an applause. Tae-hyung jumped up and screamed. Seok-jin burst into tears. He looked up to the stage to see that Ji-min had also burst into tears. He had fallen to his knees and was hiding his face but Seok-jin knew that he was crying.
The announcer walked over to hand Ji-min his trophy, gently tapping Ji-min’s crying figure on the shoulder. Ji-min looked up, revealing a puffy face and a large, wet smile. His eyes were almost swollen shut. Seok-jin was amazed he could see at this point.
Ji-min grabbed the trophy and microphone. “Thank you so much,” he blubbered. “I never could have done this without my friends, my biggest support. Especially my soulmate, Tae-hyung…”
Tae-hyung clutched his chest and looked at Seok-jin, “See! Especially me!”
“And the love of my life, Seok-jin,” Ji-min finished.
Seok-jin looked at Tae-hyung with a smug smile. “Love of his life, that’s me.”
(-) That had been the start of their adventure. Ji-min’s successes and Seok-jin’s dismal failures. Each trophy and award Ji-min had brought home were equally matched with Seok-jin’s dismissals and refusals. Ji-min’s dancing career took off, while Seok-jin’s music career seemed to flounder. He had been torn and confused at the time. He wanted to be happy for Ji-min but he couldn’t help but feel like a burden, like he was worthless. He hadn’t known what he was going to do with his life. In fact, he hadn’t even known if he should stay with Ji-min at the time. He had been so worried he would be dragging Ji-min down. He remembered stuffing the feelings deep down until he had shattered. Seok-jin sat down in his chair and poured himself a glass of wine. Wine? Now that brought him back, back to that big fight when his feelings had burst out. (-)
Rain poured down on him as he sat on the stoop outside their apartment, his hands encircling the cheap wine bottle that he had just bought. He was thankful for the rain, thankful that it hid the tears. He couldn’t believe that he had exploded at Ji-min like that. He couldn’t believe that he had told Ji-min he would be better off without him.
Seok-jin let out a large sob. He was nothing without Ji-min. Ji-min was what inspired him. Ji-min was what gave him light and love. He couldn’t let go of Ji-min.
“Jinnie!” Ji-min stomped out the door, an umbrella in his hands. “You can be mad at me but you can’t get sick, cause then who is gonna take care of your whiny ass.”
Seok-jin caught the umbrella that Ji-min threw at him and looked up in surprise as tears continued to stream down his face.
Ji-min turned on his heel to walk inside and Seok-jin cried out, “Wait!”
Ji-min paused and tilted his head back to look at Seok-jin from the corner of his eye.
“Here.” Seok-jin held out the bottle.
“What is that?” Ji-min stared down on the bottle.
“Wine,” Seok-jin moaned.
“You really think I want wine right now?” Ji-min seethed.
“We...we always said after you made it big we would go to the store and buy the best bottle of wine we could afford with what we had in our pockets,” Seok-jin murmured, his arm trembling now. “I went to the store and, well, I only have like five dollars to my name, but Ji-min you did it. You are premiering as a solo dancer for Big Hit.”
“Yeah and that was supposed to be a happy thing before you came out and spat all over it. Calling yourself a parasite? A leach? How do you think that’s supposed to make me feel? You are the love of my life and you want to cut yourself away from me because I’m what, too successful? Jin, did you even think of how badly that hurts me?”
“Jiminie I-”
“No, you stop. You saying that makes me feel bad for succeeding. You don’t get to make me feel bad for being successful. You don’t get to say things like that to me. You will get your break. You are just as amazing as I am! The whole stupid fucking world just needs to get their head out of their asses and realize it!”
“Jiminie.”
“I will not have you bad mouth the love of my life like that. Do you understand?”
“Ji-min.”
“Do you? I love you way too fucking much to let you talk about yourself that way! You do not get to talk about the person I love that way! I’m a very protective boyfriend and I will defend him tooth and nail. Is that clear?”
“Yes,” Seok-jin whispered.
“What did you say?”
“Yes, Jiminie,” Seok-jin repeated louder.
“Now get your ass inside and out of the rain. We have wine to drink and it’s time to celebrate,” Ji-min demanded. “Besides, I have better plans for that ass than letting it sit in a cold puddle on some cold steps.”
(-) They’d had several more fights since then, many revolving around the same topic. Seok-jin knew he didn’t have the strongest sense of self-worth, and comparison was so tempting when he was dating one of the most successful men on Earth. Seok-jin set the glass down and took one last look in the mirror. He adjusted his earring and ran his fingers through his bangs, making sure everything was just right. “Enough pimping, you're gorgeous,” a wonderful magnetic voice filled the room. “Ji-min,” Seok-jin turned to look at his gorgeous boyfriend who was clad head to toe in Gucci. “Tae got a hold of you didn’t he?” “Who else?” Ji-min laughed. “Wow, you look gorgeous. Ready to take the world by storm?” “Ji-min, I might not even win this award,” Seok-jin began, but Ji-min quickly put a finger to his lips to silence him. “Now, now, what have I said about talking down about my boyfriend. I won’t allow that. My boyfriend is the best musician ever. He is going to win all the awards and he is going to have the best stage tonight. Hands down,” Ji-min cheered. “Well it might help that your boyfriend has you dancing to his music during his stage,” Seok-jin mused. “My, my, isn’t my boyfriend the lucky one,” Ji-min smirked. “You’re right,” Seok-jin laughed. “I’m always right,” Ji-min countered. “That you are,” Seok-jin agreed as he gathered Ji-min’s hand in his. With one last look in the mirror, he closed the apartment door and went hand-in-hand with the love of his life down to the car waiting for them. Ji-min was right. It was Seok-jin’s turn now.