Work Text
Who said “I love you” first
Cougar did, while Jensen was sleeping, while Jensen had his headphones on, while Jensen was invested in the video game he was playing and wasn’t paying attention. Cougar said “I love you” many times to Jensen, in both English and Spanish, before Jensen finally said it back, thinking that he said it first. Cougar let’s Jensen believe that he said it first because he loves the way Jensen gloats about it.
Who would have the other’s picture as their phone background
Jensen changes his phone background every week to a new picture of Cougar’s hat. Usually with Cougar in the photo as well. Sometimes he’s naked.
Who leaves notes written in fog on the bathroom mirror
Cougar often steps out of the shower to find little drawings or reminders on the bathroom mirror. Jensen changes the wifi password almost weekly and he writes it on the mirror as well.
Who buys the other cheesy gifts
Jensen is the most hopeless romantic you could ever find but he doesn’t bring Cougar gifts of roses and chocolates. Oh no, he buys him things he really needs and wants. Cougar mentions something about his scope getting nicked in combat…. orders him five replacements that are top notch quality. Orders the handcuffs he saw Cougar looking at online that one time and wraps them up in a pretty bow and puts it on Cougar’s pillow. Showers him with all the best and practical gifts he could possibly find and never just for certain occasions.
Who initiated the first kiss
Like the first “I love you”, Jensen thinks it’s him. True, he is the one that moved in to kiss Cougar first and he believes it was his idea… that Pooch dared Jensen in a late night truth or dare game to kiss Cougar. Jensen laughed and flirted and talked about how lucky Cougar would be to have the opportunity to kiss him and had to coax Cougar into lifting up his hat to let Jensen lean in and kiss him. But Cougar had planned that dare with Pooch, betting that Jensen had a crush on him. Pooch didn’t believe it… or he didn’t care about losing his money because he wanted to see them finally get together.
Who kisses the other awake in the morning
Jensen isn’t the first to wake up but Jensen does kiss Cougar awake, in his sleep. Although, it’s less of a “kissing awake” and more of a “suckermouth fish on the side of his neck” wake up.
Who starts tickle fights
Jensen. He loses. Every time. Cougar is ticklish yes, he’s had a lot of trouble proving it [x], but he is. But most of the time Cougar is ready for it and restrains Jensen rather quickly, or resists when they’re in public.
Who asks who if they can join the other in the shower
Neither of them ask, they hope in the shower without knocking or asking. It’s a pattern they’ve fallen into. When they do have shower sex, it’s planned. They’ve had some unfortunate accidents regarding impromptu shower sex before.
Who loudly proclaims their love when they’re drunk
Much like when he’s sober, Cougar is also quiet when he’s drunk. He’ll sit closer to Jensen than usual and whisper how much he loves Jensen, in great detail, and which parts of him he especially loves more, into his ear in a low and sexy voice. It’s when they get back to their room, usually ten minutes later, that Cougar gets loud with his proclamations.
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Their ringtones for each other:
Cougar doesn’t have ringtones for anyone except when Jensen steals his phone and changes his ringtone to Backstreet Boy songs. Jensen’s ringtone for Cougar are sounds that Cougar let him record and everyone else feels immensely awkward when Cougar calls Jensen. That’s why they try to never separate them if they can help it.
Their FB relationship status:
Complicated.
Whether they are addicted to couples selfies:
Jensen is hella addicted although most of their selfies are of Jensen and Cougar’s hat because Cougs is not a fan.
Which of their friends is over-joyed shipper trash that they are together:
Clay. He won the bet.
Who overshares intimate relationship details:
Jensen. All the time. The Losers threatened to gag him once and instantly regretted it because Jensen told them in full detail of the time when Cougar tied and gagged him.
Who steals the other’s clothes:
Cougar. It unsettles the team because Cougar wearing bright pink t-shirts with sex messed hair is not something they’d ever thought they’d see.
Who’s the PDA fan:
actually Cougar, he likes to kiss Jensen in broad daylight, have his arm around him, make sure everyone knows he’s taken
Who proposes:
Jensen. It is elaborately planned, fake mission style… Not Jensen’s best idea because Cougs isn’t good with surprises and Jensen gets down on one knee to propose because that’s tradition and also he startled Cougar and got himself shot in the leg.
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Who accidentally pushes a door instead of pulling/vice versa:
Jensen, all the time, never looks where he’s going. Sometimes Cougar let’s him go first in situations just to watch him smack into the door.
Who doodles little hearts all over the desk with their initials inside them:
Jensen does all that weird stuff. Carves their initials into trees, draws hearts all over any notepads, hides their love in codes on websites… the typical romance thing.
Who starts the tickle fights:
Jensen. He loses. Every time. Cougar is ticklish yes, he’s had a lot of trouble proving it [x], but he is. But most of the time Cougar is ready for it and restrains Jensen rather quickly, or resists when they’re in public.
Who starts the pillow fights:
Again, Jensen. Again, he loses rather quickly and sometimes ends up smothered by the pillow.
Who falls asleep last, watching the other with a small affectionate smile:
Cougar. Jensen always falls asleep first, usually in an odd position.
Who mistakes salt for sugar:
surprisingly Cougar, but only when he’s busy cleaning a gun or something. He just reaches, sometimes Jensen will be nice enough to switch out for the right one.
Who lets the microwave play the loud beeping sound at 1am in the morning:
Jensen. He is a dick. Who comes back to bed at gunpoint.
Who comes up with cheesy pick up lines:
Jensen. All the damn time. He never stops.
Who rearranges the bookshelf in alphabetical order:
neither, the books just sort of go on the shelf, however they randomly leave it. Sometimes Cougar tries to put them in order but neither really care.
Who licks the spoon when they’re baking brownies:
Cougar actually. He has quite the sweet tooth. Jensen tries to stop him with warnings of raw eggs but he still eats it.
Who buys candles for dinners even though there’s no special occasion:
Jensen, he tries to be romantic. He really does. Cougar humors him.
Who draws little tattoos on the other with a pen:
Cougar. Jensen hardly ever notices the doodles on his ass until he walks out around the rest of the Losers. His clue is that they mock him rather than tell him to put on some goddamn clothes.
Who comes home with a new souvenir magnet every time they go on vacation:
Not Jensen, he stays away from magnets. They will fuck his tech up, and potentially him, he is very connected to his tech.
Who convinces the other to fill out those couple surveys in the back of magazines:
Jensen, of course it’s Jensen, he does it over the coms sometimes and drives the rest of the Losers crazy, especially when Cougar starts shooting answers back. They all hate them.
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Sleep headcanon:
they each have their own side of the bed, it’s decided (by Cougar) [fic]
but Cougar is BIG on post-coital cuddling and will hold Jensen close until morning. Other times though, when Jensen is up very late coding or making plans for their mission and Cougar knocks off first, Cougar falls asleep directly in the middle of the bed and when Jensen finally decides to shut the laptop and call it a night, he knows there is no moving a sleeping Cougar. It’s just not feasible, especially if he wants to keep his testicles. So Jensen does what any sane person would do… he flops down on top of Cougar’s stomach and just sprawls over him.
Sad headcanon:
other than the death headcanons I have?
whenever Jensen is sad, he pours himself into his work. Like, resets his whole computer system, installs a new version of Linux and GOES TO WORK. Creates and codes a whole new thing and the only thing that can break his focus is Cougar coming over and placing his hat on Jensen’s head, because if anyone knows when Jensen is upset… it’s Cougar (but actually it’s also the whole team because wow Jensen just went six whole hours without saying one word, Cougar go cheer him up, we don’t even care if we hear sex noises, just do something, it’s creepy)
Happy headcanon:
Jensen learns Spanish on his spare time but unlike coding and computers, languages are rather difficult for the hacker and it takes him a really long time to get the hang of it. But Cougar just smirks and corrects his pronunciation without making fun of him because it’s endearing and he really loves that Jensen is putting in so much effort.
Angry/Violent Headcanon:
Both Jensen and Cougar are rather chill most of the time. Jensen is so lax that no insults can even stick to him and he just laughs them off. While Cougar doesn’t let it get to him, ignores insults and stays silent. But maybe someone gets mad at Jensen for chatting up his chick in a bar. Jensen’s not flirting, just trying to make friendly conversation and the guy is a captain douchepants so he starts fighting with Jensen. Guy doesn’t get a second punch in before Cougar’s got his hand on the guy’s wrist and pummels the crap outta him. They aggressively protect each other from fights. [related fic]
Sex headcanon:
Cougar bottoms for the most part, Jensen tops, but they switch from time to time. Also, as I mentioned earlier. They incorporate light BDSM into their sex life, Jensen as the dom and Cougar as the sub. Plus… Cougar keeps his hat on during sex, for the most part. Sometimes Jensen wears the hat.
Bedroom/living space headcanon
I don’t really see the two settling down and having their own space. But with the Losers, they always share their own room or bed. They both set up their room/bed with their own work when they first get settled into a new space. Cougar with his sniper rifle and Jensen with his tech.
Romantic headcanon:
Jensen is the most hopeless romantic you could ever find but he doesn’t bring Cougar gifts of roses and chocolates. Oh no, he buys him things he really needs and wants. Cougar mentions something about his scope getting nicked in combat…. orders him five replacements that are top notch quality. Orders the handcuffs he saw Cougar looking at online that one time and wraps them up in a pretty bow and puts it on Cougar’s pillow. Showers him with all the best and practical gifts he could possibly find and never just for certain occasions. Although when it comes to anniversaries and holidays… Cougar cleans up nice. Puts on a suit, gets some flowers, and gets them reservations at a fancy restaurant and Jensen is absolutely floored by how much he loves that man.
Family headcanon:
Mostly covered in the childhood headcanon. Cougar has random family that he still keeps in touch with, mails letters to and misses dearly. Jensen has his sister and his beloved niece. Although I forgot to mention what life was like for Jensen before his parents die (in my head at least). Jensen has a line in the movie “sounds like my parents” when Aisha and Roque are arguing and yeah, life wasn’t the best before they died. They argued a lot, things never got physically violent thankfully (at least that Jensen knows of) but it wasn’t the most loving. His sister usually took Jensen upstairs whenever they started shouting matches and held her hands over his ears so he couldn’t hear anything. Or she sat him on her bed and played her music really loud.
Friendship headcanon:
(I know this should be about their friendship with each other but…) Jensen becomes with really good friends with Aisha and they spare no details about their sex lives. Swap ideas and kinks and new techniques. They end up laying on the sofa or a bed with Aisha’s legs on Jensen’s lap as they gossip and no one understands how they went from Jensen getting told to fuck off via a childhood ear collection to laughing over who has the weirder moan when feet are involved.
Cougar considers Pooch to be his closest friend in the group. Which is evident in the movies and comics but he is also good friends with Jolene. They talk over coffee before the rest of the team wakes up and she’s one of the few people Cougar will openly talk to, a lot, in English (even more than Jensen sometimes). Jolene cares about the team, doesn’t care about their past or what they’ve done, just wants them all to come home safe and Cougar likes her company, likes how she doesn’t take anyone’s shit, likes how she’ll protect them all no matter what and she becomes a real friend to him, someone he can talk to about Jensen to when Pooch has made it clear he doesn’t wanna know.
Quirks/hobbies headcanon:
Cougar hides chocolate on his person. He likes something sweet to nibble on while he watches from afar and waits for the others to get into position. Jensen discovers this and starts frisking him during missions and the others are very disturbed at first, especially when Jensen reaches under Cougar’s hat, pulls something out, fiddles with it in his fingers (taking the wrapper off), and then plops it in his mouth.
Jensen is big on sports and always tries to get others to play football or soccer or even catch with him. With anything they have on hand. A live grenade that one time and no one was impressed.
Likes/Dislikes headcanon:
Cougar hates peanut butter and Jensen doesn’t understand how or why. Cougar will scrunch his nose up whenever Jensen is eating peanut butter and mutter “Gross” under his breath and Jensen just laughs and breathes peanut butter breath on him. [fic]
Jensen likes watching Cougar clean his guns (no euphemisms here). He finds it oddly relaxing to see Cougar focus on the task and he’ll often watch him from over the screen of his computer, fingers still typing code as he breathes and just watches his lover.
Childhood headcanon:
Jake was never a popular kid growing up but he always had his older sister to look out for him. He was loud, got in the way, always wanted to play with the other kids, played pranks in class on the teachers. He spent a good deal of time in the principal’s office. (I headcanon that Jake and his sister lost their parents when she was old enough to take care of him on her own but Jensen was still pretty young. Can’t remember what I headcanon her name to be.) After their parents died, Jake got quieter, didn’t want to talk to other kids as much, and locked himself in with the computers at school. He learned anything and everything there was to learn about a toy he couldn’t technically break because there was always some way to put it back together, to repair what was lost. Still didn’t keep his sister from coming into the principal’s office because Jake mouthed off to the teachers or some kid said the wrong thing to him and they got into a fist fight. The right person talking to him though would start that motor-mouth back up and they usually regretted it because Jake could talk someone’s ear off about anything, no matter the age.
Carlos was always a quiet child when out in public. Hung back behind his mom a lot when he was really young, clung to the back of her skirt. But at home, he was always talking and chatting with his sisters and brothers and cousins, the whole family. Especially the younger ones when he got older. He’d tell them grand stories of adventure, most of which he did himself because Carlos was big on exploring when he was younger. He’d also tell them bedtime stories in a hushed voice. It progressed that way into his teens, around English speakers, he didn’t say too much but he could almost mimic Jensen’s motormouth with Spanish.
Old Age/Aging headcanon:
(all I have is meekobits’ book of life au in my head, soo good, oh man)
Honestly I don’t see them growing old together. They’re gonna die in action. It’s inevitable as a Loser.
Jensen might go first. Cougar sees it through the scope of his sniper. His heart stops but his finger doesn’t stop pulling the trigger to take out the person who shot Jensen. He quickly picks off every enemy that’s got a gun aimed at the rest of his team and Clay’s on the com but Cougar doesn’t hear him. Cougar’s on his feet, sprinting down and jumping a few roofs before he’s at Jensen’s side, hands and knees in blood. Wasn’t anything he could have done and that’s when Cougar starts getting (more) reckless (than usual).
Or Cougar goes first (but I’ve already written that)
they don’t both go at the same time, I need some angst in my life
Cooking/Food headcanon:
Jensen learned how to cook at a young age because he couldn’t let his sister do all the work. So he can cook, he just chooses not to half the time because hot dogs are so much easier and delicious. Cougar likes being spoiled by Jensen’s home cooking whenever they have access to a proper kitchen and groceries, however, and buys the supplies to make Jensen not live off fast food.