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It was difficult to believe that two years had passed so quickly. You could still clearly remember watching news coverage of The Raid. The raid you had been actively trying to prevent. The raid you would have probably been a part of anyway. The raid where you could have helped John Kennex.
John.
It broke your heart to think about how much the man, your friend, had been through over the past two years. And you hadn’t been there for him. You hadn’t been there for one of your closest friends, the man who had always stuck by you, the man you loved because some faceless man in a comfy chair up above had decided that you were better suited to a division on the opposite side of the City. You had tried to challenge the decision, but you were still just an Officer and had known that the move was inevitable. John had tried to fight to get you back, with his perfect and impressive file he had far more sway. It was possible that he could have succeeded, but then…well, then everything went to shit.From the start, there’d been a nagging feeling at the back of your mind that something was wrong with the whole inSyndicate operation. The information came too easily. You had spoken to John about it, and he had agreed with you, but also insisted that it was down to good, solid police work, and unless you had evidence otherwise, things were going ahead. Of course, you hadn’t had evidence. Then two months before the raid, ambush, you’d been reassigned, and you’d been forced to learn everything else from the news or second-hand sources. There had been rumor around your division that inSyndicate had been waiting for them, and the news made it clear that the only survivor had been a Detective John Kennex, who was being treated for extensive injuries. You’d managed to get enough time off to go to the hospital John was at, but of course he’d been in a coma, so all you could do was sit and hold his hand for a few hours.That was the last time you’d seen, John. Your new division had you constantly busy, working multiple cases at once, and it was just impossible to find the time. Your work had paid off though, you’d proved yourself enough to earn a promotion. You still smiled whenever someone called you ‘Detective Y/L/N’. It had only been a month after when you heard about the inSyndicate attack on the evidence room in Delta section. Immediately you’d pulled up the official police report on the incident, and your heart had started to race. John. John was the one who had prevented it. He was okay. Reading further into the report, you scanned over the tragic death of Detective Pete Vogel. It always hurt to read about the death of a fellow officer, no matter what division they were in. But you had realised that it also presented you with an opportunity. Delta section would be looking for a new Detective now.You’d sent your application to Captain Maldonado, requesting to transfer back to Delta, the same night. You heard back the next day. Maldonado cared for John, you knew that, so while you had been happy that she accepted your request, you weren’t overly surprised. John needed all the help and friends he could find, especially since he’d been deserted by Anna.Things moved quickly after that. Maldonado pushed your transfer through, and it was only a few weeks before you had packed the few belongings you had and were boarding the shuttle to Delta. It was a long journey, made longer by the fact that the damned thing broke down, but you couldn’t be bothered to fight the footfall and try and get a different ride, so you simply stared out the window, remembering the times you’d spent with John.~~~~~4 years ago~It had always been assumed that you’d move through the ranks of the police department quickly. You were extremely intelligent, and the top of all your classes at the Police Academy. So, when you graduated, the powers that be had decided to throw you in at the deep end, and put you under the wing of one of their best Detectives. John Kennex. You were to shadow him and his partner, Detective Martin Pelham, do as you were told and learn the ropes. John had protested at first. He didn’t want a rookie cramping his style. Martin had talked him around though, pointing out that you’d be able to do some of the more mundane tasks of detective work.Quite typically, the first case you’d worked on had been a triple homicide, gruesome enough that it made even the seasoned detectives look a little green around the gills. Three dismembered bodies had been found in a dumpster. All three were female, Caucasian and in their mid-twenties, so it made it extremely difficult to work out which body part belonged to which person. John had raised an eyebrow when he glanced over to you and saw that you weren’t throwing up your breakfast. You’d impressed him. The three of you had worked the case for a few days, more bodies showing up daily, and it became obvious that the only thing the killer cared about was that their victims were female before one afternoon you spotted an anomaly while going through a report. You pointed it out to John, who muttered an “I’ll be damned.” It turned out what you thought had been a little clue, ended up being the thread that unraveled the whole case.“Job well done, kid.” John clapped you on the shoulder as he pulled his jacket on, preparing to leave after a night of report filling. Martin had left a couple of hours earlier to spend time with his family.“Thank you, sir.” You forced a smile. When the three of you had tracked down the killer, you also found a macabre workshop, where three more women, all deceased, lay with tools that you didn’t want to think about, surrounding them. Safe to say, the sight had shaken you, and you weren’t feeling the most cheerful.Of course, John Kennex being John Kennex, noticed your forced smile immediately. “This way, you’re coming with me.” He said, motioning with his head for you to follow him as he turned to leave.“Sir? Where are we going?” You trailed behind John, following him as he led you out of the building and to his car.“My place.”You raised an eyebrow, mimicking his own look.John rolled his eyes. “It’s too late to go to McQuaid’s, but you need a drink and I happen to have a nice bottle of bourbon.” He said simply, getting into his car.You thought about protesting briefly, but honestly, you did need both the drink and the company, so slid into the car next to him. It felt weird being in the front. You were usually in the back.The drive didn’t take long, and the two of you spent it in an amicable silence. You were surprised to find his apartment homelier than you’d expected, and you looked around curiously. John gestured with his hand for you to take a seat, before disappearing into his kitchen. A few minutes later, he reappeared with a bottle of bourbon and two glasses. Sitting next to you on the couch, he poured out the drink and passed you a glass. The liquid burned the back of your throat as you took a sip, but John had been right when he said it was good, and you could feel it start to relax you immediately.“Thank you, sir.” Your smile was more genuine this time.“We’re off duty, Y/N, enough of the ‘sir’ crap. Call me John.”You chuckled and nodded. “John.”The two of you fell into a silence again, but you could feel him watching you, waiting for you to be ready to get what you were feeling off your chest.It took you until the end of your first drink to start to talk. You talked about all the feelings you’d squashed down over the last few days. The anger, disgust, fear. It terrified you as a woman that someone so sick could do things like that.John stayed silent and listened. He knew that’s what you needed, so that’s what he did. He let you talk, occasionally topping your drink up until you were done. Then he took your glass away and set it down next to his own. He seemed to hesitate for a few moments as if deciding whether he should do what he was planning or not but seemed to figure he should just go for it. John placed a hand on your forearm and gently tugged you closer so he could wrap his arms around you. You closed your eyes, letting him encircle you, and you relaxed a little more.“You’re safe with me, Y/N. I won’t let anything like that happen to you. I got you.”They were the last words you heard John say before falling asleep in his arms.~3 years ago~The next year passed quickly. You, John and Martin all became good friends, but you John became especially close.“Like two peas in a pod.” Martin laughed when both you and John muttered some sarcastic comment about an MX at the same time.And it was true, you and John were similar, it was one of the reasons you were such good friends. You just got each other. You’d already lost count how many times the two of you had been out drinking and either you’d ended up in John’s spare bed, or he’d ended up on your couch. It made sense to pay only one cab fare. The two of you had never ended up in the same bed though. You were just friends. Though over the last year, you had begun to wish that you were more than that.But John had never shown an interest in you that way. Sure, he stuck up for you, making sure that your opinion was heard during cases, especially when some of the other detectives tried to brush you off. And he looked out for you, just like you looked out for him. You’d saved each other’s asses more than once already. It was never any more than what he did for Martin though, so you had just assumed that John only saw you as a friend.Today was another of those ‘need to save each other’s asses’ days. A couple of mad gunmen had decided to take a store hostage, and as you, John and Martin were nearby, you’d responded. It was decided that Martin would stay out the front and command things from there, while you and John slipped in through a hidden back door that an ex-employee told you about. The gunmen obviously hadn’t done their research as the doorway was unguarded, and you and John had been able to enter the building undetected.Neither of you made a sound as you checked all the back rooms, making sure no one was waiting to surprise you. With the rest of the building secured, you and John made your way to the room the hostages were being kept in. There was no one guarding the door. Quietly, you made your way to the door and peered through a small glass panel. Three men. Not professional by the looks of it. The guns they had were modified, but they still weren’t much of a threat. Take them by surprise and you and John would be done by the time they even realized anything was happening.That’s how it should have gone down.What actually happened was that one of the hostages spotted you looking in. You had raised a finger to your lips, indicating for them to keep quiet, but it was already too late. You couldn’t blame the hostage, seeing your potential saviors would be an ecstatic moment, but you still cringed when they gasped and smiled. The gunmen were on the door within seconds. The door wasn’t that thick, and you and John only just managed to turn away before a round of bullets came hurtling through.“Beehive rounds!” John yelled, and your heart sank. They were an older technology but still used on the black market due to their deadly nature. A ballistic shell packed with small flechettes, a pointed steel dart, is fired and a mechanical time fuse sets off the flechettes in an expanding cone to cause massive damage.John glanced at you, and you nodded, unspoken readiness passing between you. John moved quickly, kicking down what was the rest of the door before another round could be let off. He moved into the room, immediately taking down one of the men. They had more serious weapons, but they couldn’t match John’s experience. You moved in behind him, firing your weapon at the second gunman before he had a chance to try and harm a hostage. In your peripheral vision, you saw the third gunman drop his weapon and make a run for it, and John giving chase. Neither of you killed unless you had to. You radioed into Martin, telling him to get some medics and MX’s in here, before following John.By the time you caught up to him, John had already cornered the gunman and was just starting the process of arresting him. You moved forward, but a movement to your left caught your attention. There was a fourth gunman, aiming directly at John. He must have been in hiding somewhere. Perhaps they did their research better after all.“John!” You shouted, running towards the gunman. You hadn’t been in the right position to get a clean shot, so you had no choice but to move forward. The gunman immediately turned to you, and the two of you took a shot at the other, as you instinctively dived to the ground. A third gunshot rang out a split second later, and you knew it was from John. You tried to get up, but your foot slipped on something wet. Frowning, you looked down and saw the red underneath you.You blinked.I’ve been shot.The realization hit you, well, like a bullet, and as it did the pain also slammed into you.John was already by your side, the worry on his features plain even though he attempted to look calm. “Don’t worry, Y/N. You can barely see it.”You attempted to chuckle, but that only made the waves of pain worse. “Liar…”John huffed. His smile was forced, but you appreciated it. “Yeah, maybe, but it’ll be okay. I got you.”Things went black after that, and when you came around again you were in a darkened room with blinking machines in the background. A hospital then.“You look like crap.” A deep voice to your side said.Slowly, and with a groan, you turned to look at John. “I could say the same about you.” Your voice came out hoarse, you hadn’t noticed how dry your mouth was. You were right though. John did look like crap. His eyes were tired, hair a mess, and he definitely hadn’t shaved for a few days. You were also pretty sure he was in the same clothes too. As the fog from your brain lifted, it dawned on you that he must have been here for however long you had. John sat forward and held some water to your lips. You drank deeply, grateful for the cool liquid. “Thank you. How long…?”“Three days. You were lucky. At the angle you dived at, only a couple of the flechettes hit you, and they went straight through you. There was a bit of internal bleeding, but they stopped it relatively easily. Could’ve been hell of a lot worse.”You nodded, closing your eyes again. You may have been lucky, but you still felt like you’d been hit with a wrecking ball. “And you’ve been here the whole time, you dumb idiot.”John just shrugged. “Least I could do. Technically you did save my life. He would have hit me straight on if you hadn’t turned up, Y/N.”“Maybe I’m the dumb idiot.”“Well…” John chuckled and held up his hands when you glared at him. “Hey…I’m not the one who said it.”You give John another glare. “If you don’t shut up and let me sleep, I’ll shoot you myself.”“Good luck with that.” John teased but stood anyway. “I’ll swing by tomorrow, and if you promise not to shoot me I’ll even bring you some grapes.”“Get lost, Kennex.”“Yeah, yeah, love you too, Y/N.”~John came to the hospital every day, and he did bring you grapes. He actually brought more grapes than one person could even want or need, just to annoy you. As you started to recover it came to a point where you had grape throwing fights with each other. When you weren’t fighting, John caught you up on all gossip from the precinct and told you ridiculously bad jokes just to make you laugh. It was during those days that you realized that your feelings for John had grown and that you loved him. You sure his feelings matched yours too. Why else would he go through so much trouble to see you smile?You were going to mention it. You had to.The day you were going to tell John, he came in looking a lot less grumpy than normal. And for a few short minutes, you thought it was because of you.“I met someone last night. I stopped on the way home from here to get some noodles, and she crashed into my car. Her name’s Anna. We’re going out later.” It was obvious that John was excited to tell you. He hadn’t been on a date once in the year you’d known him, and from what Martin had told you, he barely dated before that.Your heart was breaking, but you smiled anyway. You’d never seen John look this happy. “That’s great, John. You’d better tell me all the details tomorrow.”John winked. “I don’t kiss and tell, Y/N.”You managed a chuckle. “I have my methods.”John’s date with Anna went well, really well. He couldn’t stop talking about her and telling you how the two of you would get on.The truth was when you and Anna finally met when you got home from the hospital, you didn’t get on. The two of you pretended to in front of John, but conversation was forced and your smiles faked. You couldn’t put a finger on why you didn’t get on, you just didn’t trust her. When talking away from John, Anna did make a few not so subtle hints that maybe you were jealous of her relationship, but that wasn’t it. You loved John. Loved him enough to be happy for him even when your own heart was broken. The man deserved to be happy.Your friendship with John changed when he and Anna became more serious and moved in together. The two of you still went out drinking and talked each other through particularly nasty cases, but at the end of the night, you went your separate ways again. Change was inevitable, you figured, so you just sucked it up and focused on your work until your sudden transfer came up.And it really was sudden. You were working with John and Martin on the inSyndicate raid when Maldonado came up said that another division had become seriously understaffed and that you had been chosen to go and pick up some of the slack. You’d leave the following week. John had been furious, he and Maldonado argued for the best part of an hour before he came sulking back out.“It won’t be permeant, Y/N. I won’t let it. I’ll send you some documents you can use to challenge the decision, and I’ll fill them too. You’ll have to go next week, but we’ll get you back.”~~~~A voice over the speaker jolted you from your thoughts, and it took you a few seconds to get your bearings. You’d been so lost in thought that you hadn’t even noticed the shuttle start to move again. You looked out the window and saw that you had snapped yourself out of it just in time. Grabbing your bag, you rushed out of the shuttle and onto the platform, before making your way to the main desk. Swiping your ID, the android manning the station soon produced a set of keys for you. The PD had supplied you with both car and an apartment until you got yourself settled in again.It was getting late, but your cell pinged just as you got to your car. It was from John’s new partner, a DRN called Dorian. Maldonado had filled you in about the unusual choice of partner, but you agreed with the decision. John never had liked androids much, and he was more likely to respond to one who was almost human.Once you had slipped into your car, you read the message. Dorian had been tracking you to know when you’d arrive. He also said that John was still in the precinct if you wanted to see him tonight. You thought for a moment, before responding that you would come and see him.Starting the car, you made your way to the precinct, nerves growing in your stomach the closer you got. You knew John wasn’t aware that you were coming back, and you were concerned as to how he’d take it. Two years was a long time, and with all John had been through, he could easily resent that you hadn’t returned sooner.Pulling up to the building felt like coming home. Some of your best memories occurred here, and you hadn’t thought about how much you missed it.Scanning your badge at the door, you entered the building and made your way up to the right floor. Not much had changed in two years. The floor was empty, everyone else had long gone home. You could hear two voices though. Both male. One you didn’t recognize, and one you most definitely did.Just hearing John’s voice made you feel warm again, and you smiled. It was going to be okay. John would understand why you hadn’t come back. It was hardly your fault you never got more than a day off at a time. He’d be glad to see you again. Two of you back together, and you ready to help him deal with all the shit he had to deal with.Taking a deep breath, you walked through the doors, your eyes falling to the center of the room where the two men talked. John had his back to you, but the other, who you assumed was Dorian, spotted you and made eye contact.It only took a few seconds for John to notice his partner’s distraction, and he turned to follow his gaze. You could see he was trying his best to remain stoic, but you did notice his eyes widen just a fraction.John looked older. Not just two years older, but more. As if everything had aged him. It probably had. He also had the look of a man who carried the weight of the world on his shoulder. Or the weight of a friend’s death. The latter being the heavier no doubt.John was slow in standing, and approached you carefully, almost warily, like he wasn’t sure you were really there. He stopped when you were only a few feet apart.“Y/N?”You smiled warmly. “Hi, John.”John paused for a moment. “Get the hell out of here.”
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“Get the hell out of here.”
John may as well have shot you, it wouldn’t have hurt any less than his words. You knew that from experience.“John, I…” You moved to take a step towards John but stopped when you saw him take a step back. You glanced over at Dorian and caught his gaze for a second. You could see the concern on his features, it was going to take you some time to get used to an emotional android, but you also saw that he was preparing himself to step between the two of you should things turn ugly.John held up a hand as you opened your mouth to speak again, cutting you off. “No. You don’t get to stroll back in here like nothing’s happened and act all pally with me. It isn’t gonna work like that, Y/L/N.”John moved closer to you again, and you held your ground. You could see the anger on his features, but backing down would make him think you were guilty. And yes, you did feel guilty for not being there for John, but it hadn’t been entirely your fault. John had no idea what it was like in that division or the amount of work that needed to be done, and you weren’t going to let him guilt trip you for doing your job.“I’m not even sure how you’re here, Y/L/N. Officers aren’t admitted into the building this late. So get out like I said before I stick a reprimand on your file.”Oh no. Regardless of the feelings you had for John, you weren’t going to let him try and pull rank on you.“It’s Detective now, Kennex.” You kept your voice calm yet firm. John was trying to get you to rise to his bait and start a full-on argument, but you wouldn’t give him that satisfaction.John scowled. “What?”“Y/N Y/L/N was promoted to Detective two months ago, due to multiple recommendations from both her peers and superiors, along with receiving a commendation for both Integrity and Community Service and a Police Life-Saving Medal.” It was Dorian who spoke, and both you and John turned to look at him. You could see the blue lights tracing along the side of his face, and knew he was reading from your personal file.John’s scowl deepened as he turned back to you. You’d only seen that expression on his features a handful of times and you never thought you’d be the one of the receiving end of it.“At least one out of the three of us has had a good time.”You flinched. It was a low blow and John knew it.Closing your eyes and running a hand through your hair, you took a deep breath. “John. Look, I don’t blame you for being mad at me. You needed me to be here, and I wasn’t, and I’m sorry. But I have my reasons, so give me a chance to explain. Please?” You spoke quickly, making sure John didn’t get a chance to interrupt you again.When you opened your eyes again, John had turned away from you and was rubbing his temples. “I woke up from a coma to find that my girlfriend had deserted me, one of my best friends was dead and that the other had only visited me once in seventeen months. I looked up the patient visitor files. You came days after I was admitted. The same day as Martin’s funeral.” John turned back towards you, and you saw pain mixed with the anger now. “The reason you came back was to say goodbye. Goodbye to the friend that was dead and goodbye to the friend you assumed was going to die. Then you flounced back into the sunset to get all your awards and promotions.”You weren’t sure how to respond to that. It had never crossed your mind that John could interpret your visit in that way, but hearing him say it forced you to realize that of course, that’s how it looked. No wonder he was mad at you. You were already mad at yourself.The pain that came with knowing that John believed you’d abandoned him too was worse than any physical injury you’d been through.After opening and closing your mouth a few times, you finally found your words. Sort of. “John…I know it must have looked that way…but I swear it wasn’t like that. I wished every day that you’d be alright.”It was useless. John wasn’t going to listen to you. Not tonight anyway. If you’d known how he felt, you would have given him some warning instead of just showing up out of the blue. It was understandable if it was all too much for him.“I don’t officially start here for another week, but if you want to contact me, Dorian has my details. Please, John, let’s meet and talk. It doesn’t matter what time.” You glanced to Dorian and he nodded. You knew he was going to try and talk John around. “I hope I hear from you, but if not…then I’ll see you next week.”You smiled sadly and nodded in farewell to Dorian, who responded in kind, before looking at John again. He had turned away from you once more, and you sighed. “Bye, John.”With that, you turned and walked back out of the precinct and down to your car. Slipping into the driver's seat, you leaned forward and rested your head against the steering wheel. Tonight had not gone how you’d imagined. You weren’t quite sure how long you stayed like that, but the sound of another car unlocking roused you from your dwelling. Looking up, you saw John opening the door to his car and watched him as he got in. He must have felt your eyes on him because he looked around before finally seeing you. Your eyes met, but you didn’t do anything. Even from a distance, you could see the range of emotions flicking over John’s face, and you definitely felt like the proverbial rabbit caught in the headlights. You stayed still, feeling like if you moved it would set John off and the two of you would have another argument.The time passed slowly, but it couldn’t have been more than a few seconds before he looked away from you and started his car. You watched him leave, before sighing and leaving yourself.~John didn’t contact you during your week off, and it was quite obvious that he was actively trying to avoid you once you’d started. The both of you spent most of your time on the road, heading your individual cases, but when you happened to be in the office at the same time, John rarely acknowledged you. He somehow managed to remain professional when Maldonado forced the two of you to interact on larger cases, but that was as far as it went.One of the larger cases was how you, John and Dorian ended up in the storeroom of an abandoned factory. You and John had been heading separate cases, but a few days in and it became obvious that both your cases were connected. Maldonado had been hesitant to put the two of you together, but she didn’t really have a choice. It would take too long and occur too many questions to pass it on to someone else.So you forced yourself to work together. Even when you weren’t on personal speaking terms, you and John still worked well together, and with Dorian’s help, you managed to piece together information quite quickly. Of course, you had an MX partner of your own, but you didn’t want to push your luck with John so put it onto menial tasks so it would stay out of John’s hair.When a particular piece of information allowed you to lock onto a lead, it was time to strike. Surveillance indicated that there were a total of five men in the building, so it was decided that between two experienced detectives and two skilled androids, you wouldn’t need backup.Unfortunately, the factory had an old tunnel system leading underground that wasn’t on PD blueprints, and it seemed that more men came through those tunnels each night. They hadn’t expected the four of you, but you hadn’t expected so many of them either and they still outnumbered you five to one. Your MX was the first to go down, though it did at least manage to take down a couple of them.“We need to get to the door by the east wall!” Dorian shouted over the gunfire, and luckily the three of you weren’t that far away. Using abandoned machinery as cover, you all managed to creep to the door relatively unscathed. Glancing at the door you needed to get to, the metal was reinforced, so getting into the room beyond would buy you time. You then looked around you. The men hadn’t gotten much closer to you, knowing better than to put themselves in the open. But to get to the door, the three of you needed to go into the open.“The door is mechanically locked. I’ll need to tap into it to get it open. You two cover me.” Dorian explained quickly and moved before John could protest.The two of you stood at the exact same moment, and once again opened fire on the gunmen, giving Dorian the few moments he needed to unlock the panel. Multiple bullets whizzed passed you, a couple even grazing you and glancing sideways you could see it was the same for John.A beep behind you was all you needed to know that Dorian had the door open. “Move!” You yelled at John. He was closer, so it made more sense for him to get in first. As you saw John start to move back, you moved sideways, covering the door completely. A few seconds passed, then you began to move back too. You were starting to get low on ammo, so when you sensed you were close enough, you turned and sprinted the rest of way. The impact of a bullet propelled you through the door itself, forcing you to the ground as Dorian slammed the door shut and locked it again. The sound of bullets hitting the door could be heard, but it held fast. You were safe for a few minutes.“Y/N?” Dorian was by the side of you, scanning you over.“M’fine. Vest stopped the bullet.” Which was true. Your back ached like hell though, and you groaned as you forced yourself upright. John was watching you, looking a little paler than usual and you frowned. “Everything okay, Kennex?” Since getting back, the two of you referred to each other by your last names. It made things easier.John nodded, seeming to snap out of whatever thought process he was in. “Yeah. Fine. You’re bleeding though.” He motioned to your head.Reaching up, you winced slightly as your finger encountered wet and you saw the blood as you moved your hand down. There was nothing you could do for now. You were also aware of other scratches around your body, but they weren’t serious. “You’re bleeding too.” You said to John, who huffed and nodded.“Tell me about it.” John turned to Dorian. “Have you called for backup?”Dorian nodded. “Yes. We need to hold our own for the next thirteen minutes though, and I estimate we have seven before they manage to break down that door.”“Great. Any ideas Y/L/N?”You looked around the small room, before looking up and getting an idea. “Dorian, do these air vents connect around the whole building?”“In the last updated blueprint, they did.”“Can we get to the power supply room?”Dorian nodded, catching onto your plan. “Yes. I’ll use the vent to get to the supply room, and disengage all power.”“The sudden blackout will take them by surprise and give us the advantage.” John finished.“The lock on the door will shut off as soon as the power goes, so the two of you must be quick getting out.” Dorian was already moving to the vent, and John gave him a boost so he could remove the guard and climb up. “It will take me approximately three minutes to get to the room, and another two to switch off the power.”Five minutes.As Dorian began to move, you and John took a position on either side of the door, guns at the ready. You realized that you hadn’t been alone with John since your return.“That cut is bleeding pretty bad. You gonna manage?” John spoke quietly, and you opened your eyes, not noticing that they had closed, to look at him.“Sorry to disappoint, but I’ll be fine.” In truth, your head was starting to pound, and you were feeling a little dizzy, but you had no choice other than to push through.John opened his mouth to say something, but you were both startled a loud bang the other side of the door.“They’re trying to break down the door.” John cursed. “Come on, Dorian.”As if on cue, all the lights went out, and a variety of curses from outside rung out.“Now!” John ordered.You pulled the door open so John could lead the way out, then followed him through, the both of you firing off shots before the men knew what was happening. The lasers on your guns did give away your position, but you and John were moving so quickly that it was still nearly impossible to pinpoint you.Splitting up to cover more ground, you took them down one by one, clearing the room. A few bullets came a little too close for comfort, but other than that things were going well. That was until you felt a metal bar hit your leg, and you went tumbling down, losing the grip on your gun.There was a weight on you in seconds, and a fist connected with your jaw. You gasped, but instinct took over and you reached up to cover your head before another blow could land. Instead, you felt the fist connect with your arms and seized the opportunity to attack back. You grabbed your opponent’s arm, keeping it against his torso, and hooked a foot around his. He tried to land another punch, but it only served to throw him off balance and gave you the chance to roll the two of you over. You aimed a few blows of your own, before throwing yourself away and reaching for your gun. You had just managed to close your hand around it, when a pain went shooting through your hand and in the light of the laser, you could just make out a foot pressing down onto it.The man the foot belonged to, bent down and plucked the gun from you, and you didn’t need to look up to know that the laser was being pointed at your head. You took a breath and closed your eyes. This was it.Multiple things passed through your mind. You were proud of your achievements, but the most overwhelming feeling was regret. Regret that you never got to say sorry to John, regret that you’d never told him how you felt.“Hey, douchebag!”John’s voice rang clear, the pressure on your hand lessened as its owner got distracted. You heard the gunshot and managed to roll away in time to avoid being squashed by the body that had just collapsed to the ground.You quickly grabbed your gun and scrambled to your feet, still on the alert. It was just then that the main factory doors burst open, and about a dozen MX’s came storming in. There was no one for them to secure though. An emergency power source must have kicked in because when the lights came back on, you and John were the only ones standing.As you blinked to get used to lights again, you looked at John. He looked as bad as you felt. Dorian came up to you and you could see he was scanning you both.“You two look terrible.”“Yeah, thanks,” John muttered before the pair of you were ushered away by medics.~You and John were taken to hospital by separate ambulances, and you didn’t really mind. You were aching way too much to put up with more weirdness and try to process it. John saving your life didn’t confuse you. He was a good cop and a good man, and he wouldn’t purposely let you die, just like he wouldn’t let anyone else in the precinct die if he could help it. It was the couple of times you caught him looking at you, that confused you. On more than one occasion you’d seen concern in his eyes. Not concern that you’d pass out and wouldn’t be able to help, but deep, genuine concern. For you.John had made it perfectly clear that you were no more than a colleague to him, a colleague he didn’t even like. So why was he so concerned?Sighing, you closed your eyes. It was probably all in your imagination. The adrenaline making you see things that weren’t there. If John had been concerned, it was probably because he was worried you’d hinder his chances of survival.Arriving at the hospital, you were whisked away for various tests and scans before being poked and prodded and patched up. No serious injuries. A mild concussion, a couple of bruised ribs, some cuts and scrapes and a nasty bruise on your back. Given the circumstances, it could have been much worse.You were kept in a day for observation, then examined again. The Doctor decided you could go home later that day. The prospect of going back to your empty apartment wasn’t the most appealing idea, but it was better than being stuck in a hospital room.You had been dozing a little when you heard a knock on the door of your private room. “Come in.” You didn’t have to move to see who it was, because you were already laying on your side facing the door. It was pretty much the only side you could lie on comfortably.Expecting a nurse or Doctor, it was fair to say you were surprised when John came in.“Come to see if I’m still alive, Kennex? Sorry, I know you must be disappointed.” Yeah, that was mean and you saw him wince. It was his fault though. He knew hospitals made you grouchy.John sighed. “I deserved that.” He moved over slowly as if waiting for you to throw him out, but when you didn’t, he sat on a chair. “Bought you these.” He held up a bag.Grapes.A small smile tugged at your lips despite your best efforts. “Thanks.”John reached over and set the bag down. “Heard they were letting you out today.”“Yeah. Just waiting on the Doctor to bring my discharge papers and antibiotics.”“That’s good.” John looked down at his hands. It was the most awkward you’d seen him since he admitted to not knowing what to get Anna for her birthday. “You did well back there. Shouldn’t have surprised me, but it did.”“I didn’t do that well. I’d be dead if you hadn’t stepped in. Thanks for that, by the way.”“Oh please, Y/N. We both know you’ve saved my ass on more than one occasion. And I used to be the departments best.”There was sadness in John’s voice, and you slowly pushed yourself upright. You were going to reach over to touch John’s hand, but you were interrupted when the Doctor entered.“Detective Y/L/N, here are your discharge papers…and here are your antibiotics. One to be taken twice a day. Regular painkillers should be enough to handle any pain, but I’d be happier if you spent the night with a friend or relative just to make sure your concussion doesn’t get any worse.” The Doctor said, glancing at John.You nodded, taking the items from the Doctor. “Thank you, Doctor. I’ll ring a friend and ask them to stay over.”“Alright. Don’t take this the wrong way, but I hope I don’t see you again soon.” The Doctor chuckled and left.Carefully getting off the bed, you pulled on your jacket. You’d changed into clean clothes earlier.“Come on, I’ll give you a ride back. It’ll save you a cab.” John said, standing with you, and you really couldn’t be bothered to argue. If he wanted to make his drive home twenty minutes longer, then let him.Following John out of the hospital and to his car, you grumbled a little at the cold. In the corner of your eye, you could see John chuckle, and you grumbled more because you really shouldn’t be so happy about making him smile. Most of the drive was spent in silence, and it was more than a little awkward. It made you sad to think about all the times the two of you could spend hours in a happy silence.You only spoke again when you noticed that you were going in completely the wrong direction. “Do you even know where I live?”“Nope.”“So where are we going?”“My place. Doctor said you needed to stay with someone, and I knew by your face that you had no intention of doing that.”You frowned. “Fine. But I’ll still need clean clothes and stuff.”“Already got them. Dorian went yesterday and picked up clothes for a couple days and some toiletries.” John smirked.“Then you were planning this before today.”“There aren’t many injuries I haven’t had, kid. I know the score. And you really think I turned up minutes before you were discharged by chance? Dorian accessed the files to find out.”“Son of a bitch.” You glared at John. “Why?”“We need to talk. I figured that you’d probably lock me out of your place, so my place would be better.”“You know, pretty sure this is kidnap.”“Cell’s there if you want to call for help.”“Idiot.”“Not the worst thing I’ve been called.” John looked over at you. “Apart from not wanting to get locked out, Dorian mentioned that your apartment was pretty much bare. He said that if it wasn’t for your clothes and stuff, the place didn’t look lived in. You’ve never been a minimalist.”Shrugging, you closed your eyes. “Didn’t see a point in decorating. That place was only meant to be temporary anyway.”“What do you mean?” You could hear the frown in John’s voice.“You don’t know? To push my transfer through quicker, Maldonado put me on a six-month temporary placement, which included a car and apartment. Then if I put in a request to stay, and she accepted, I’d find my own place.”“And have you? Found your own place yet? You only have two months left. Not the largest amount of time to find somewhere suitable, and she hasn’t stopped singing your praises, so she’ll obviously accept.”You shook your head. “No. I haven’t. I haven’t even requested to stay. I’ll be going back to my old division at the end of my six months.”“You’ll be doing what!?”
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John pulled the car over and turned to look at you. “You’re actually going back there? Are you out of your mind?”Finally opening your eyes again, you looked back at John as you shrugged. “Why would I stay here? There’s no reason for me too.”“It’ll be the death of you! Cop mortality is triple to what it is here!”“So? I came into this job knowing the danger involved, and if it’s higher there, then so be it. Maybe I can do some good, and it’s better than being where I’m not wanted!” You were getting angry now. John had spent months practically ignoring you, and now he was trying to tell you what you could or couldn’t do.“Who said you weren’t wanted here? You’ve done good work since being back, Y/N, and you damn well know it!”“I’ve done no better than anyone else, John! Do you really not see it? I only came back because of you, and you’ve spent four months pretty much pretending I don’t exist! I can’t stand it anymore!” Sighing, you pinched the bridge of your nose and tried to calm yourself. “Thanks for the offer, but I’ll make my own way home.” You went to open the car door but found it locked. “Let me out, John.”“Not a chance,” John told you, pulling off again and continuing towards his place.“Dammit, Kennex!” Lashing out, you hit the dashboard, cursing as your already sore hand became even sorer. “You’re a dick.”“And you’re a pain in the ass, who’ll end up back in hospital if you don’t stop punching my car.”You huffed, turning away from John and looking out the window.~John didn’t say anything for the rest of the drive, and neither did you, but you felt his eyes glancing over at you occasionally. Pulling up in front of his building, you looked around. You’d always been jealous of the waterfront view John had, and you had often mentioned getting a place around here someday. You watched John get out, grabbing a bag that you guessed had your stuff in it, before walking around to your door. He looked down at you, raising an eyebrow, and you sighed. He wasn’t giving you the chance to slip away.You stepped out of the car and followed John inside. Not much had changed since the last time you’d been there, but you did notice that practically all evidence of Anna had been removed. You also spotted the wheelchair near John’s bed, and your heart broke a little. It made sense, you figured, but it still hadn’t been something you’d thought about.John threw the bag down onto the couch, before going into his kitchen. You hesitated a moment, before sitting down in of the chairs John had around. It felt too intimate to sit on the couch. John reappeared a few moments later and passed you a beer before sitting down on the couch himself, keeping a distance between you.Taking a sip of your beer, you studied the bottle with far more scrutiny than was necessary, but it at least sort of distracted you from the silence that hung between you.When John spoke, you startled, even though his voice was barely audible. “Don’t leave again, Y/N.”You looked up and saw John watching you, his gorgeous hazel eyes filled with pain and your stomach twisted into a knot. “John…”“You said you were going because you weren’t wanted. So let me tell you, you are wanted.” John sighed. “I’ve been a dick. I know I have. I’ve said things that were out of order, and I’ve acted in a way that’s unforgivable. But…well, I’m…I’m sorry, Y/N.”John looked away again, and you waited a few heartbeats before getting up and going to sit next to him on the couch. John never said sorry. Sure, if he was in the wrong a mysterious bottle of bourbon might appear out of nowhere, but John never actually said the word ‘sorry’ out loud. So you could only imagine how hard it must have been to say it now.Placing a hand over his, you sighed. “I understand why you said some of the things you did, and I know how it must have looked to you when you woke up. But I swear it wasn’t like that. I wanted to come, I did. There just wasn’t any time. No one had less than four cases at any one time, and even on days off we had to work from home.”“I know. I looked up your case files. You did some good work.”“Of course I did. I learned from the best.” You smiled when John smiled. “Maybe I could have tried harder to get back, I don’t know, but I just assumed that Anna would be by your side and I wouldn’t be needed anyway.”John’s laugh was harsh. “She’s already done enough for me.”“What do you mean?”“Dorian hasn’t told you?” John looked up at you, and when he saw the frown on your features, looked down again. “Anna was…is…part of inSyndicate. She was the reason the raid went to shit.”You didn’t say anything. There wasn’t much you could say. Instead, you set your drink down and scooted closer to John, one hand still on his and the other coming up to stroke his hair gently. You half expected John to pull away and ask what the fuck you were doing, but he didn’t. If anything, he leaned in closer to you.It was strange to see John so vulnerable, but from what you’d been told, he’d struggled to open up about any of the events of the last two years, so this had to be a good thing. You hoped anyway.The two of you stayed like that for some time, your fingers carding through the soft strands of John’s hair, and you thought about how long you’d wanted to do just this. It felt good. Right.Eventually, John pulled away, grumbling a little. “Side’s aching.” He said by way of explanation, and you nodded. He’d taken as much of a battering as you had, so of course, he was hurting too. “Thank you though.”You smiled. “You don’t have to thank me, John. I’m here for you. I’ll always be here.”“That mean you’re gonna stay?”“If you’re sure you want me too.”“I do.”“Good. Because I hated that damned division.”John chuckled. “I’m ordering some noodles, want some?”“Since when have I ever not wanted noodles?”~John ordered food, and the pair of you ate on the couch together, watching whatever terrible show came on the TV first. It felt like old times again. It was good. But it still wasn’t right. You should be happy. You and John were friends again, but there was still an itch under your skin and you had to force yourself to ignore it. You didn’t dare push things further. Not now. Not yet. You weren’t prepared to risk losing John again.When you’d finished eating, you stretched as best as your ribs allowed, before standing. “Shower.” John nodded, clearing away your cartons.The first thing you noticed upon entering the bathroom was that the shower had been adapted. Of course, it had. You looked at the seat inside the shower as you turned the water on and sighed. John was a proud man, and it must’ve taken a lot for him get used to some this equipment.While you waited for the water to warm up, you removed your clothes and put them to one side, then stepped under the water. You groaned as the warm water soothed your sore muscles, and you were grateful for waterproof bandages that allowed you to soak under the spray for quite some time.At some point, you figured you should get out, in case John wanted a shower before bed, so quickly washed up and turned the water off. You frowned however when you stepped out, realizing you’d left your bag on the couch, and you didn’t want to put your old clothes back on.“Screw it.” You muttered, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around yourself. John had seen you in nothing but a towel quite a few times in the past, just like you’d seen him in nothing but a towel around his waist. That had always been the kind of friendship you had.Entering the main room again, you glanced over at John. “Forgot my clothes.” You chuckled, making your way to your bag. You grabbed it and turned around to head back to the bathroom when you noticed that John was still watching you. He’d never stared at you before. If anything, the most he ever did was roll his eyes and mutter something about you forgetting your head if it wasn’t attached to your neck. So this was new.“John?” You frowned, and he snapped out of it.“I… Didn’t mean to creep you out.” John walked over to you and traced the scar at the top of your arm. “It’s just this is new.”“Oh, yeah. That.” You shrugged. “It was nothing serious. Tackled a perp to the ground and he pulled a knife on me. Didn’t stay in his hand for long, but he managed to get a swipe in first.”“Yeah, yeah, I know how you got it. I know about all the scraps you got yourself into.” He frowned.“I didn’t get myself into anything. It’s the way things are over there.”“Doesn’t mean I have to like it. Another reason I don’t want you to go back. I can keep an eye on you here.”You chuckled. “Getting protective over me now, Kennex?”“Damn right I am.”“Cut the chivalrous bullshit, John. Doing what we do means putting ourselves at risk, and we’ll never be able to work together if you spend all your time concerned about me.”“I didn’t say that. And I won’t spend all my time worrying. If we’re working together I’ll have your back, just like you’ll have mine, but I’m not gonna smother you. If you do get hurt though, nothing’s gonna stop me from taking care of you.”“Okay. As long as you promise I get to take care of you if you’re hurt.”“Deal.” John smiled, and the warmth of it made you shiver. He traced the scar on your arm again and met your eyes. You suddenly became hyper-aware that you were only wearing a thin layer of fabric.“I…I should really go and get dressed.” You managed to get out, your mouth dry. If you didn’t get away soon, you’d do something you’d regret.“That’s a shame. You look so good in my towel.” John’s voice was deeper than normal, and he took just a small step closer in your personal space. He was close enough now for you to feel the heat of his body through the towel. “Saying that you’d look even better with nothing on at all.”Dammit. John Kennex was nothing if not forward, and you’d be lying if you said your knees hadn’t gone a little weak. It felt as if all your dreams were coming true at once, but this couldn’t happen.John seemed to sense your hesitance, and backed up a little, making you instantly miss his heat against your skin. “I thought I’d read the signs…that you wanted…more, Y/N. My mistake.” He actually looked embarrassed.You took a deep breath. You didn’t want him to think he was in the wrong. “No, John. You read the signs right. I want this. Want you. But I’m not what you need right now. You need a release, I get that, but I can’t give you that. Not without hurting myself. I love you, John, dammit, I’m in love you, and doing this, tonight would break me. I can’t be your one-night release. I wish I could be.” Your words came out in a hurry, and you could feel the rush of blood to your cheeks. Looking down at your feet, not wanting to see whatever expression was on John’s face, you spoke quietly. “I’m so sorry, John. I’ll get dressed and go. You don’t need proclamations of love on top of everything else.”Tears burned your eyes as you moved to step around John and retreat into the bathroom as quickly as possible, but you were stopped when you collided with the firm surface that was John’s body. “You were seriously expecting to drop a bombshell like that, then run away. Without even giving me a chance to respond? That’s not the Y/N I know.” John’s voice was quiet but soft.You still refused to look up at him as you shrugged. “Figured you’d want me out of your hair as soon as possible.”“Y/N…” John’s fingers came up and gripped your chin, light enough to not hurt, but still hard enough to force your head up. You expected to see anger in his eyes, but instead, you saw warmth and…love? John smiled that dopey little half smile where one corner of his mouth went higher than the other. “Ever stop to think that proclamations of love are exactly what I need? Maybe I need to hear that the person I love, loves me back.”Well. That certainly floored you. “You…love me?”“Yeah. Think I always have. I was too thick-headed to see it at the time. Didn’t realize til I woke from the coma. You not being there hurt more than Anna not being there…and it was as hard as hell to try and get over you. Then you turned up again, and all those feelings came rushing back, and I lashed out. I got defensive and distanced myself. But then at the factory, I thought I’d lost you. I saw that bastard aiming your gun at your head, and I saw red. I knew then things couldn’t keep going as they were.”You blinked, looking dumbstruck up at John. Oh.John’s eyes searched your own, trying to gauge your reaction. “You okay, Y/N?”Slowly, you nodded, a smile spreading across your face. “Yeah. Yeah, I am.”John chuckled, waiting a moment longer before gently pressing his lips to yours.You should have been embarrassed by how quickly you responded, but you’d waited too long for this, so you really didn’t care. Reaching up, you wrapped your arms around John’s shoulders, fingers running through his hair again.John’s hands came to rest on your hips, and he smiled against your lips. “You like doing that, don’t you? Playing with my hair?” He murmured softly, pulling back just enough to be able to look down at you.“Not my fault it’s so soft. You’ll have to tell me your secret.” You couldn’t stop smiling. This was actually happening.John chuckled. “You sure you want this? We can wait.” One hand came up and cupped your face, a thumb brushing over your cheek.“I’m going to pretend you didn’t just ask me that. I’ve wanted this for years.”That was all you needed to say, it seemed. In a second, John’s mouth was back on yours, harder this time and you couldn’t help but moan a little. The hand he had on your face moved to the back of your neck, keeping you exactly where he wanted, and you happily opened your mouth for him to deepen the kiss.Just when you thought John was going to make your whole body turn to mush with one kiss, he pulled away, looking just as breathless as you felt. “This needs to go.” He ran his fingers along the edge of the towel, silently asking your permission.“As long as I get to remove this in return.” You smiled, let your hands glide over the fabric of John’s shirt. If you were going to be naked, then he could at least even the playing field.John chuckled. “Of course, sweetheart. I’ll even let you go first.”You blushed, but grinned anyway and tugged John’s shirt free of his pants. You let your fingers trace around the edge for a few moments, before pulling it up over John’s head, the other raising his arms to help you. Not even taking the time to notice where it landed, you threw the material to one side just so you could get your hands back on John’s newly exposed skin.John grinned at your eagerness but didn’t move to stop you from exploring his torso. The first place your fingers went to was the scar on John’s shoulder, frowning a little as you traced over it. It hadn’t been there the last time you saw John without a shirt, so you could only assume it was a result of the raid. Huffing softly, you continued your journey down John’s chest, relishing in the firm muscles, though you made sure to stay away from the fresh bruises and scrapes.Eventually, John took your hands in his own and gently pulled them away. “As much as I love seeing you so fascinated with me, I’m a little fascinated with you too.” His gaze was warm and had a hint of amusement in it.Looking up, you returned John’s grin. “Well then. I’m all yours.”John didn’t waste any time, and within seconds your towel was falling to the floor. Really, you were surprised it had stayed in place this long. You felt John’s eyes rake over your body, drinking you in.“Beautiful.” He breathed, his hands already roaming your skin just as carefully as you had done with him. “I want you, Y/N.” John’s voice was quiet as he brushed across a couple of bruises.“You have me, John.” You reached up to kiss John, and his hands settled on your hips again as he began to guide you to his bed. You didn’t know why, but between John’s large hands and broad chest, you felt safe. Protected. It was a ridiculous thought, really. You were the last person that needed to be protected, but some deep primal place in the back of your mind was singing, and you just went with it. It felt good.You felt the back of your legs hit John’s bed, and for a brief second, you tensed as you expected to tumble back onto it. Your back wouldn’t appreciate the weight of the two of you landing on it suddenly.“Relax, I got you.” John murmured into your ear, one hand sliding to brace the bottom of your back while the other cupped the back of your neck again, and guided you both down gently.John kissed you deeply, slotting himself between your legs. The material of his pants rubbed against your bare skin and you moaned. It felt good, but it would feel even better if he didn’t have them on.“You’d be more comfortable without these on.” You said, your hands roaming down John’s back and running along his belt.“In a minute, sweetheart. Don’t worry about me, and let me take care of you.” John saw you open your mouth to protest but stopped you with a chaste kiss. “You said you wanted to help, didn’t you? Well, taking care of you will help me.”You just nodded, and John smiled. “Good girl.” He rumbled, and you had to stop yourself from begging John to take you then and there. The thought must have shown on your face because John chuckled and began to kiss down your jaw and throat.“John…” You whined, and the bastard smiled against your skin for a brief moment before starting to nip and suck at the sensitive skin of your neck, leaving his marks on you. When he had you writhing from marking your neck alone, John moved lower, kissing and nipping at whatever skin he could reach.“You’re stunning, Y/N,” John whispered against your skin, and you blushed. You weren’t ashamed of your body. You weren’t perfect, you knew, but you wore your flaws, especially your scars with pride. Still, the way John spoke those words was almost reverent, and it made you flush with a mix of emotions that someone would think so highly of you.John moved to your breasts, taking a nipple into his mouth and laving it with his tongue and making you gasp.You couldn’t resist anymore, so you started to card your fingers through John’s hair again. It felt good, but a curious thought popped into your head. Smirking, you gripped John’s hair and gave it a gentle pull.The moan that John emitted went straight to your center, and you knew that if you didn’t have John soon, you’d lose your mind. “Please, John…I need you.” You begged, and by the way, John looked up at you, you could tell that he was reaching the end of his tether too.There’d be time for you to tease each other endlessly and explore each other’s bodies, but right now the two of you were to pent up.John moved back up your body and kissed you, bracing himself up by placing a hand on either side of your head. You took the opportunity to reach down between the two of to start undoing his belt.“You’ll need to take these off if you’re going to fuck me.” You said, voice low, and you saw the shiver run through him.Reluctantly, John pulled back and worked to get his pants off. You noticed that at some point he’d removed his boots, but for the life of you, you couldn’t remember when. Must have been when you were in the shower. All you cared about right now was watching John as he finally finished removing his clothes.John tossed everything to one side and climbed back onto the bed, however you didn’t miss the brief flicker of nerves cross his features. It didn’t take a genius to figure out why. Even though it matched his skin tone, the differences between John’s synthetic leg and his real one were obvious. Not that you cared.Sitting up, you pulled John closer for a kiss. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted this, John. How much I’ve thought about it. There’s nowhere I’d rather be right now.” He murmured softly, looking up at him.Your words appeared to ease John’s concerns, and he smiled at you, pushing you back down on the bed again. He pulled a condom out of what appeared to be thin air and laughed as you raised an eyebrow. Tapping the side of his nose and winking at you, John tore the packet open, and you licked your lips as you watched him roll onto himself. You longed to get your mouth around him, but it could wait.John settled himself between your legs, his eyes once again raking over your body. Feeling you’d very likely combust if you didn’t feel him in you soon, you reached down and tugged John’s hair to encourage him up. John grinned as he did move up your body, but what you weren’t expecting was for him to capture both your wrists in one hand and pin them above your head. You could feel some of his weight pressing against them and you groaned deeply.“Good girl.” John rumbled, using his free hand to finally guide himself into you. The way he filled you was sublime, stretching you perfectly, and you were sure you’d died and gone to heaven.You tried to speak, but could only manage a breathless moan. John smiled and brought his arm back up next to your head and used it to brace himself, so not all his weight was on your wrists. He kept his hips still, for now, letting the both of you adjust to the sensations.“John…please.” You managed to get out when you really couldn’t stand it any longer and needed more.“Yeah…” John agreed, giving an experimental thrust. “Okay?”You nodded, not even bothering to try and speak again. It was all you needed to do though because John began to thrust again. He set a slow pace, but each thrust was deep and filled you with a pleasure you couldn’t begin to describe.It was perfect. Blissful. And you never wanted it to end.But you knew it was going to. You could already feel the heat coiling inside you, and by the look on John’s face, he was nearing his end too.“John. Close.” You gasped out, and he nodded.His hand moved back down between you, and you moaned loudly when his perfect fingers found your clit. “That’s it. Come for me, sweetheart.” He purred into your ear, the snap of his hips coming faster now, each one driving you closer to the edge.When your orgasm washed over you, you cried out loudly, your vision going white. Some small part of you was aware of John groaning too as he joined you in bliss, his face buried in the crook of your neck, but you were too far gone to pay much attention.“You’re gonna be the death of me.” You mumbled, as you finally started to come down, and you felt John smile against the neck.“You complaining, sweetheart?”“Never.”“There’s my good girl.” John’s movements were lethargic as he reluctantly pulled out of you to dispose of his condom.You grumbled as you were left feeling empty but somehow managed to push yourself upright. “I call dibs on the bathroom.” You had no idea how you managed to stand, you felt like you had no bones in your body, but somehow you managed to make it into the bathroom. You cleaned yourself up, smiling a little stupidly at yourself in the mirror as you used John’s toothbrush to brush your teeth.Heading back out, John gave you a quick kiss before going in himself. You looked around you and huffed when you saw your clothes bag all the way on the other side of the room. No way you were walking over there. Then you spotted John’s clothes rack. You went over to it and grabbed an old looking t-shirt and slipped it over your head.It was far too big for you, but it was comfy and it smelled like John.You were just climbing back onto the bed when John exited the bathroom. He pulled on a pair of boxers as his eyes landed on you, and smiled.“I should’ve known that you’d start stealing my clothes. I should arrest you.” The warm smile made you tingle, and you jokingly held out your wrists.“Whatever you think is best, detective.”John chuckled and rolled his eyes. “The things I’m going to do to you.” He sat down on the bed and pulled you close for a kiss. You wrapped your arms around him but frowned and pulled back when you felt tense muscles.“What’s wrong?”John seemed to hesitate for a moment before sighing. “My leg needs charging.”Your frowned deepened. “So?”John was silent, but his eyes flicked from you to his leg to the charger to the wheelchair.Oh. Oh.You cupped John’s cheek and gently forced him to look back at you. “Nothing could make me think any less of you, John. I swear. I love you.”John’s eyes searched yours. “Not just that. When I take it off. It isn’t pretty.”“Nothing will make me less attracted to you either. I didn’t fall in love you with for your looks. I fell in love with your sunny demeanor.”That pulled a chuckle out of John and he smiled, looking like he believed you. “I love you too, YN.”You smiled and pressed a kiss to John’s lips. “Let me put it on charge for you? It’ll be easier surely.”John nodded slowly and you stood up. You watched as John disengaged his leg, and admittedly it was a little jarring to watch the skin colored limb turn back to its gray metal state as John pulled it from what was left of his thigh, but it didn’t change any of your thoughts.You took it from John, who was trying to remain stoic and went over to the charging station. You placed the leg down on it gently, and John talked you through how to set it to charge.When you were done, you went back to the bed and pulled John so that the pair of you were laying down on it. “You’re not going to scare me away, John.” You said softly, pulling the sheets over you.“You can’t say that. I don’t even know if you should be sleeping in the same bed as me. I get-““Nightmares sometimes, and sometimes you lash out during them. I know. I’ve read your file. I can handle myself, so don’t worry. And I can say that you won’t scare me. Just like I can say that I won’t let you push me away. You’re stuck with me now, Kennex.”John smiled and pulled you close to him so that your head was on his chest and he had his arms wrapped around you. “Thank you.” He said, voice barely audible.“You never need to thank me, John. I got you.”