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“What.”
“A-Ah Ms. Aran! L-Lucas! What brings you two here?!” Mario asked quickly as Lucas tilted his head in confusion. Link’s face went a shade of pink as Samus crossed her arms.
“Why are you two in drag?” Both the plumber and the hero went a deeper shade of red as Lucas looked up at the tall blonde.
“I-I think they’re trying to use their PSI, Ms. Aran…” Samus looked at Lucas.
“What do you mean?”
“The Magypsies had really powerful PSI when they had their makeup on.” Lucas explained slowly. “And they dressed very prettily too…” Lucas looked down at his shoes sheepishly as Samus looked up at the two men, who offered sheepish grins in return to the bounty hunter’s questioning look. She was quiet before nodding.
“I see….though admittedly, I do have to question the choice of outfits….” Lucas looked at her curiously. “Pink is not the plumber’s color.” Mario went red.
“H-Hey! I look-a fine in pink!” Samus didn’t look convinced. “You’re just not a fan of more feminine outfits!” He placed his hands on his hips, which made the fact the Italian Plumber was in a pink frilly dress, a bit more humorous. Samus raised an eyebrow. “Besides, pink-a is a shade of red.” Link nodded in agreement and Lucas looked at Samus, wondering how the bounty hunter would react.
“Doesn’t change the fact, that shade is not your color.” She stated before she casually waltzed to the closet. The boys watched as she professionally grazed through the clothes before pulling out a darker rose colored dress before tossing it to the plumber. “Here. This’ll make your eyes pop better.” Mario blinked slowly before looking over the dress as Samus tossed a belt at Link. “And elf-boy, learn to accessorize; just ‘cause you’re wearing a dress, doesn’t mean you can’t still kick ass.”
“You know a lot about clothing, Ms. Aran…” Lucas said softly and Samus smirked.
“I’ve had a few cases where I’ve had to go undercover.” Lucas’s eyes widened.
“W-Whoa…Really?!”
“Yeah, I can tell you and the other kids about it over dinner tonight.” She chuckled before looking at the two men. “And you two better get to working on your PSI before dinner.” She winked at them and grabbed a purse. “Come on Lucas, let’s get to the game room; I’ve got a bet to win against Dedede with DDR.” Lucas nodded and turned to the men.
“Bye Mr. Mario, and Mr. Link! Good Luck with your training!” Mario and Link awkwardly waved them goodbye as they left. Once gone, they exchanged looks.
“She got-a photos of us….didn’t she?” Link sighed softly.
“We’ll find out at dinner…”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
...“Ridley? What are you doing moping around?” The large lizard jumped slightly, startled by the bounty hunter poking her nose in his business.“I-I’m not moping! Gah, stop sneaking around like a weasel!” He huffed and Samus rolled her eyes, crossing her arms.“Tell me what’s wrong, Ridley.” She said.“Why should you care? I murdered your parents.”“And Mario kills Bowser every Tuesday barring holidays.” She said as she sat next to the lizard. “And those Fire Emblem boys have permadeath if you even look at them wrong.” Ridley gave the woman a lidded look; even with the excuse of being a bounty hunter, it was a tad weird to see her so casual regarding the concept of death, especially when she was talking to her parents’ murderer. She held up her hands. “Alright, alright, you caught me; you’re the only person from our games and that phazon cheater isn’t much of a talker and I really don’t want to be the only Metroid person next tournament….” She shrugged absently. “Now, what’s up?” Ridley stifled a groan before using a claw to wipe his face.“It’s just…” He sighed. “And you better not fucking exploit this, I just feel a bit left out.” The giant lizard let out a disgruntled growl. “The other guys all get their asses handed to them by men-more like boys-and like I know that sometimes the girls help...but it’s still the guy getting the credit….and...and I’m stuck with you kicking my ass.” Samus looked at the large pterodactyl like creature and let out a small chortle.“Yeah, if you put it like that,” She said. “But technically, isn’t that old barod Mother Brain the villain? You’re like her dragon…” Ridley looked at Samus in confusion. “It’s an old Earth lit trope, basically the bad guy’s right hand man.” She shrugged. “So maybe you aren’t like Pig King, or that Koopa dolt, but you’re technically not the big big bad.” Ridley scoffed.“That doesn’t make me feel any better Kid.”“At least you don’t get your ass kicked by the pink fluff ball.” Ridley howled as Samus gestured to Kirby running off with a sandwich, being chased by the penguin king. After a few minutes the space pirate managed to regain some composure he wiped a tear from his eye.“You are a pain in the ass sometimes, kid.”“I’ve got an excellent example to look up to.”. .“Hey!” Both Lucas and Ness visibly shuddered as Porky wrapped his arms around the smaller duo. “You think you’d get away without even a hello to your best friend?!”“I-I really don’t know you…and you tormented my family and friends...” Lucas pointed out quietly in a mutter as Ness was far more blunt.“You tried killing me. Multiple times. Even before you joined Giygas.” Porky frowned.“So? Mario and that lizard thing play golf when they’re not at each other’s throats.”“B-But Mr. Bowser’s a king...and they have like a agreement to be nii…” Lucas pointed out, though he withered under Porky’s chilling glare, the kid getting his own glare from Ness.“Anyways,” the blond grunted. “You guys should be more willing to hang out with me-EEE!!” Porky was lifted into the air by a scaly barbed tail, surprising the other two as the tail placed Porky atop a nearby tree branch by his underpants. Ness and Lucas turned to see their rescuer and were understandably surprised to see the large space pirate with what appeared to be a mischievous grin on his face.“Reminded me too much of the fat bastards I rob, and he’s got nothing on him worth stealing.” Ridley explained simply.“And if he did…?” Ness asked warily.“He’d still be in the tree, but I’d have something worth selling.” Ridley shrugged simply. “Now, I’m avoiding that pink princess and that dumb “super crown” like a plague of metroids, so I’m hanging out with you two.” Ness and Lucas exchanged nervous looks but nodded.“Well, ok...we were going to meet up with Toon Link and show Miss Lucina and Miss Zelda the ice cream shop in the shops!” Ridley nodded slowly.“Now that’s a good plan. Let’s get going before that punk’s pants decide to quit holding his weight up.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
...
“Shut up.”
“My, you decided to trade in the snow suit in hmm?”
“Shut
up
.”
“What is she doing Rock?” Ness asked slowly, looking at the Blue Bomber.
“Samus is ragging on Mr. Belmont….the late 80s were weird…” He explained. “There was a show he, Pit, and I were in….and let’s just say it didn’t particularly age well…” Rock was flushed as he thought about it. “He had to wear a snow suit instead of his usual clothes, something about lawyers…” Ness winced.
“Aw man...that’s...weird…” Rock shrugged.
“80’s were something, that’s for sure…” He shuddered slightly. “Mario or Twilight Ganon could help explain more about it...but Mario gets kind of weird and things blow up,”
.
.
“...1001, 1002,” Samus grunted as she counted as she did push ups with Ness and Lucas on her back while the Wii Fit Trainer was doing yoga as Master Hand appeared.
“Alright! You guys! Here’s the new guy!” They stopped and looked at the teenager, who merely adjusted his black rimmed glasses, dressed in a school uniform. “Be nice.” With that, the large hand vanished into thin air.
“Salutations,” The trainer offered gently. “I am the Wii Fit Trainer, but you can call me Wynn.”
“Samus.” Samus said simply before doing another rep. “Ness. Lucas.” The boys in question waved at the teen, who smiled slightly.
“You can call me Joker.” He said simply as he adjusted his duffel bag. “I suppose that this is the gym…?”
“One of them.” Wynn explained. “There’s approximately 5 practice gyms, several pools, and-” There was a loud gut retching blech and everyone, except for Joker, groaned as Wario “Who Invited Him” Wario, sauntered into the gym.
“Alright, who wants to go a few rounds and see the gun show?!” He bellowed and flexed his ‘guns’, before seeing Joker. “Who the heck are you?”
“He’s the newest fighter to join the tournament, Wario.” Wynn said, trying to keep whatever dignity that had died the moment the man waltzed in. “Samus, the boys, and I were going to give him a tour of the man-” Wario laughed rudely and smacked Joker roughly on the back.
“Welcome to the place Four Eyes!” He proclaimed before picking his nose. “Can’t wait to wipe the floor with you!” Joker had stumbled with the force of the smack but he continued to smile as he adjusted his glasses.
“Likewise.” Wario laughed before walking past everyone and headed to the pool area near that gym.
“He’s gonna kill him…” Samus overheard Lucas whisper as Wynn profusely apologized, Joker telling her that it was perfectly fine.
“Nah, he’s just gonna sell Wario’s motorcycle,” Ness whispered back as they got off of her, letting her sit up. “Just like when Mr. Wolf first came back,” Samus however noticed the smile on the Joker’s face and chuckled as it clicked. She held out her hand.
“I know he deserves it and much more, but you’re going to get in trouble if he catches you with his wallet.” Joker raised an eyebrow as his smile grew more playful. Wynn and the boys looked at her in confusion. “‘Sides all his cards are maxed.” Joker sighed and tossed her the man’s wallet.
“How did…?” Wynn started to ask before shaking her head. “Right, right, space cop…”
“Bounty Hunter.” Samus corrected before chucking the wallet in Wario’s direction, knocking the man into the pool. “Nice…”
“Whoa! Miss Samus, can you play baseball?” Ness exclaimed and the woman shrugged.
“Maybe…?”
“Perhaps after the tour, we can arrange a small game…” Wynn offered, chuckling nervously. “Which I think we should get going...before Wario realizes what happened.
“Lead the way.”
.
.
“It’s a Komayto.” Samus said as the creature cooed as it floated in front of both Samus. “Totally different from a Metroid.” Dark Samus grunted, hiding behind the bounty hunter. “Besides, you’re Phazon; they eat X-Parasites.”
“Aha! There you are!” Pit exclaimed as he ran over, grabbing the creature. “I was wondering where you went!”
“I thought you hated those things,” Samus mused and Pit chuckled.
“Well, they’re obnoxious, but they’re cute!” He explained. “He’s me and Pitto’s pet! He’s been following us around after the assist trophy broke.” The creature cooed and snuggled against the angel as Dark Samus gave it a lidded glare as Samus chuckled.
“Well, it certainly seems to enjoy your company,” She said, ruffling the boy’s head. “I’ve got to give Dark Knight here a lesson in it’s own biology.” Dark Samus looked at the woman and seemed to make a voice of disagreement. “Well,
you’re
the one hiding behind me like I don’t share at least least partial DNA with them.” Samus grabbed the Echo Fighter and began to drag it away, Pit having to hide a chuckle at the two’s version of bickering.
“At least they’re not firing their rockets at each other…”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
...
“Um…Mr. Ganon?” The Gerudo Prince looked up from the strategic tome he was borrowing from Robin, and down at the dark haired child. “Um...What are you reading?”
“Battle Strategies from Robin.” He said curtly before sighing at the child’s confused look.
“Why?”
“It is best to learn any strategy, regardless of where it comes from,” He closed the book. “Now, why are you here?” Ness shrugged.
“Lucas is helping Pit read, there’s no matches scheduled, and Mr. Falcon is doing something called ‘Macho Aerobics’ with the other guys, so I was just walking around the manor and seeing what everybody else was doing.” Ganon raised an eyebrow at the first thing before shaking his head at the second to last part.
“And he wonders why there’s not a new game for him…” He muttered before studying the boy, to which Ness raised an eyebrow.
“What?”
“You are younger than the child Hero, aren’t you?”
“By maybe a few months? You guys really don’t have calendars like Onett…” Ness said, admittedly feeling a bit under the microscope as the prince studied him.
“I see...and you saved your world from destruction…impressive…” Ness chuckled nervously as he rubbed the back of his head.
“U-uh-Thank you Mr. Ganon...but I had a lot of help…facing Giygas...” He said, rubbing his arm, obviously uncomfortable with the praise coming from Ganon. “A-And I didn’t stop Porky...that was Lucas technically…” Ganon shrugged.
“Well, either way, very impressive. The Hero definitely took his sweet time trying to stop me….even the threat of a moon crashing into the world won’t make him move faster.”
“He’s got that pipe thing though,” Ness said slowly. “That Ok-can-a?”
“Ocarina. It is the Ocarina of Time.” Ganon corrected. “It doesn’t quite work that well for him, the way he claims it does.” Ness looked at the prince curiously. “He’s tried to use it to prolong his curfew.”
“He has a curfew?”
“Zelda proudly enforces it.” Ness started to giggle as Ganon shrugged. “Gives her something to do besides bothering me.”
“Do all the Links have to deal with a curfew?”
“I’m sure the princess has tried at least once.” He chuckled to himself before noticing that Ness had a conflicted look on his face. “What is it?” Ness went pink as he rubbed the back of his head.
“Um...it’s a really stupid question…”
“Bah, there’s no such thing unless it comes from the Hero’s mouth.” Ness didn’t look convinced, but he knew about the Gerudo’s thin patience and didn’t want to test how far he was along anyways.
“Do you get homesick?” Ganon raised an eyebrow. “I-I mean like you miss your family ‘n friends ‘n…”
“I know the word, yes, I’m just surprised that you weren’t under the assumption that I disregard any human emotion.” Ness shrugged innocently and Ganon couldn’t help but smile. “Well, I do miss my people from time to time, but at the same time, I know that they can handle themselves, and that I would not hear the end of it if I went back before it was time.”
“Huh?” Ganon waved the question aside.
“The Hero could give some romantic-aged speil on courage or something, but the point is, they are behind you and think about you every step of the way. And they want you to return home with your shield or on it, not without it.” Ness blinked slowly.
“What?” Ganon let out a sigh.
“I’ll explain when you’re older.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
....
“Well, your vitals are looking a lot better than this morning,” Dr. Mario chuckled as Samus nodded glumly, wrapped in several warm blankets and holding a hot drink in her hands. “Thankfully we have Ridley's hacked files of the Federation and that whole metroid fusion thing…” Samus shrugged.
“Bastard wants to be the one to kill me, so nobody else is going to get that honor.” She muttered begrudgingly. “So have we figured out why it suddenly started to snow in my bedroom and nobody else’s?” Dr. Mario paused as there was the sound of a fat Italian screaming and Ridley’s roars along with a ‘Falcon Punch’.
“Well, I believe Ridley has made his guess.” Dr. Mario said simply. “And knowing how Wario enjoys messing with people, I can only guess he wasn’t aware how dangerous his stunt was.”
“Well, at least none of the kids got hurt,” She muttered before sneezing. “S-Son of a…” Dr. Mario chuckled.
“I’ll see if the villager can whip up some curry…”
“Thanks…” She mumbled as Ness and Lucas came in, carrying their scarves. “Hmm?”
“Mr. Mario said you had a cold, so we ransacked the old costume attic and found some stuff to keep you warm!” Ness explained and Samus smiled tiredly.
“Thanks you two…Do you think that you can see if I can borrow that fire rod thing Link’d got?”
“Already tried;Sheik says it’s too dangerous.” Ness said. “Toon Link is gonna try and sneak it past her when she’s having tea with Peach later.” Samus nodded as Snake opened the room, letting Isabelle, who was carefully carrying a bowl of soup, in.
“A-Alright Mrs.Aran! I brought you something that’ll warm you right up!” The yellow pup explained. “I’ve used this recipe plenty of times when the mayor or Mr. Nook got sick!” She placed the soup bowl on a table before shooing Ness and Lucas out. “N-Now, we can’t have you boys getting sick either!”
“Uh...Isabelle…” Dr. Mario said slowly. “It’s not exactly….” Samus shushed him gently.
“Let her have this Mario,” She whispered “Sides, we don’t have a replacement for Wario just yet.” Dr. Mario opened his mouth, as if to argue before sighing and shaking his head.
“Valid point.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
...
“That is wrong on so many levels.”
“Lucina thought it was adorable.” Snake looked at the female Robin, who was in a light purple sweater. “And she did the look to Samus…” Snake nodded slowly.
“Tsk, at least she’s humoring her.” Robin chuckled.
“She’s certainly a good friend for that….”
“She’s certainly something, that's for sure.” Snake shook his head slowly as Samus waltzed over to Snake, wearing the mistletoe headband and the “Meowy Christmas” ugly sweater that Lucina thought was the most precious thing ever and gifted to her friend.
“Alrighty, Snake, you know the Old Earth tradition,” She teased gently. Snake rolled his eyes and grunted, a faint flush on his face.
“Samus, there’s no need to pressure him-” Robin was cut off her gentle scolding as Snake grunted and pulled Samus in for a kiss on the lips. After a moment he pulled back, leaving Samus dumbstruck, along with the other observers.
“There. Happy?” Samus shook her head quickly and glared at Snake.
“I was just going to give a piece of candy!” She explained, holding up the bag of Hershey's Kisses she had been holding. “I wasn’t serious about actually kissing me!” Snake blinked slowly, fighting to keep his reaction stone faced as Robin struggled to not lose it.
“Oh.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
...
“This is ridiculous…” Pitto grumbled in annoyance. “Why do we have to go after them?” Shulk shrugged.
“Master Hand said that it was absolutely necessary to get whoever from this place.” He said, avoiding another puddle of black liquid. “And we still haven’t heard from Pit or Mario yet, so we’ve just got to find them.” Pitto rolled his eyes as he looked at the posters splattered on the walls. He made a face of disgust before shaking his head.
“Of course the idiot couldn’t handle this…” He sure as hell wasn’t going to admit that he was uncomfortable being watched from the posters of the ever smiling creatures. Shulk offered a weak chuckle in return before pausing awkwardly, the Mondo granting him a vision of the future. Shulk stepped back and motioned Pitto to step back. As soon as the angel did, a large blob like creature loomed down the hallway, making inhuman like groans Pitto and Shulk exchanged looks; Master Hand certainly didn’t mention
that
. As soon as the creature made it down the hallway, both readied their weapons and pressed forward, unaware of the mummering rumbling throughout the black ink, alerting their lord of the trespassers that were making their way down deeper.
.
.
“This is never coming out…” Shulk grumbled to himself as he wrung out his coat jacket as the last of the creatures sunk into the floorboards. Pitto grumbled.
“He freaking owes me for this…” He said before pausing, locking eyes with something down the hall. “Son of…” Shulk raised an eyebrow before a playful whistle rang throughout the hall. Shulk tensed as Pitto looked over at him and Shulk nodded, knowing exactly what the new plan was. “RUN!” The two attempted to bolt, away from the creature but found themselves getting trapped in the ink, which had taken on a molasses-like thickness.
“Come on!” Shulk yelled as the whistling turned into giddy laughter.
“Why are you two kiddos running?” An unfamiliar voice cackled. “I only want to have some more dancing partners~!” Shulk realized with horror that ink was seemingly increased and pulling them under. Shulk attempted to cry out, to try and save himself or Pitto, but a large tendril of ink rose clamped around his mouth and pulled him under into the darkness.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
...
“You can read?” Yoshi perked his head up as the blond soldier looked at him in confusion.
“Well, yeah,” Yoshi noted slowly. “I help run the kingdoms when Peach is kidnapped sometimes. I’m really good with numbers!” The dinosaur noted that the soldier's reaction was hard to read.
“I guess it’s like that duck…”
“Huh?” Cloud waved his hand.
“Uh, from one of the games I’m in….a duck’s some king’s advisor in some kingdom…” Yoshi blinked slowly as Cloud sighed and rubbed the back of his head, sitting next to the dinosaur. “It was just weird, the kid fought with a giant key like a sword…”
“A sword key?”
“And he wore the stupidest outfit as well! I mean, Tifa and some of the other girl’s outfits have been ridiculous, but him? Gah, if it wasn’t for the fact I was under orders, I would’ve told him off! And don’t even get me started on the crap Sephiroth was on during it! He is a fucking drama queen!” Yoshi listened to the young soldier go on a rant about his endeavors outside his main game.
,
,
“Lucina? What are you doing?” Peach was shushed by the blue haired girl as she waved over the princess. She raised an eyebrow before she heard the cooing sounds of the green dinosaur as Yoshi was napping with Kirby and a pair of Inklings. “Awww…”
“I have never heard anything like that before!” Lucina whispered in excitement and Peach chuckled.
“They do have some cute cooing noises…” Peach said before they hear the sound of guns and high explosives being used.
“RIDLEY YOU BASTARD!!” Peach and Lucina exchanged glances as the dinosaur started to wake up.
“Huh?” Yoshi rubbed his eyes. “Is it lunch yet?”
“No…” Peach said slowly. “I think Samus found out about Ridley’s final smash…” Lucina winced as the space hunter held nothing back as she swore Ridley and Master Hand (and Nintendo in general) up one side and down the other, and was joined by Donkey Kong and the others who would be losing something in their rivals’ final smashes.
“Heh, ok, wake me when it’s lunch.” Yoshi mumbled and rolled over, snoring within a few minutes, earning chuckles from the pair of princesses.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
....
“Samus?”
“Hmm?” Samus barely acknowledge Peach as the blonde sat next to her as she meditated.
“May I speak to you about something?”
“I’m listening,” Peach sighed softly and looked at her hands.
“I miss Zelda…our Zelda….I mean this Zelda is a doll and I know changes have to happen, b-but-” Samus sighed and patted Peah on the shoulder.
“It is still Zelda, Peach, it’s just….a cute version.” Peach looked at Samus with a deadpan glare.
“Samus.”
“What? I’m not wrong!”
“You know what I mean.” Peach sighed and Samus frowned and gently flicked the princess’s forehead. “Ack!”
“But I don’t believe you do. Zelda’s entire franchise is based on that reincarnation mumbo jumbo, so it’s the same Zelda, just a new look and slightly different personality.” Samus sighed. “I mean Link’s different, though we both know the only reason Ganon is still the same guy is because Wario would throw a fit if there was a larger pig in the place.” Peach nodded slowly though chuckled at the last remark.
“Yeah, I just…”
“It’s weird, I get that;” Samus smiled softly. “You realize I had to re-explain the Chrozo tech when Link saw me phase out of my suit after our first battle...I think he still thinks I’m some goddess like Palutena.” Peach snorted at Samus’s face.
“Well, you’re a very beautiful space goddess.” Peach managed out. “Even Rosalina would be proud to share the title.”
“Pfft, I’d just be the goddess of birds, or being ignored.” Samus said.
“Or zero suits,” Peach offered and Samus laughed, gently shoving Peach.
“Oh yeah, nothing better than the prayers of fan service! Oh great Sammy, give us dat booty! And can we some more shirtless swordfighters today!” Peach shrieked with laughter as the two stumbled on the floor.
“Samus!” She barely managed out. “Y-You’re ridiculous!”
“Oh no, Peachy, I’m just telling the truth of what I’d get as a goddess!” Samus laughed before a timid cough grabbed their attention. The two blondes looked up and saw Palutena and Zelda staring at them.
“Are we interrupting something?” The actual goddess mused and Samus gave her a lidded look.
“Shouldn’t you be fighting some sentient carrots Green Bean?” Peach smacked Samus and rolled her eyes. “Ow! Hey!”
“Well, here they are, Zelda…” Palutena said curtly before turning her heels. “Good luck.” Samus stuck her tongue out as the goddess left.
“She’s just mad I make a better stew.” Zelda raised an eyebrow as Peach sat herself up right.
“Or it could be that you explain things that she brushes off as “the gods’ will” and undermine her on a routine basis, especially with Pit and Dark Pit,”
“Maybe, but I’ll lay money it’s the stew.” She turned to Zelda. “So what’s up Zel?” Zelda furrowed her brows, looking too adorable for words.
“What...What was the previous me like?” Peach’s face flushed as Samus shrugged.
“She was you, but taller, I guess.” Samus said simply. “Not really as expressive, but she was stuck in the realm of Twilight or something.” Zelda was confused as Peach interjected.
“Samus is science fiction, the whole magic thing is not quite her thing….” She said. “The previous Zelda did try to teach her about it…”
“I did-er-she did?” Zelda was obviously trying to hide back her excitement and Samus smiled.
“She didn’t really have the patience to deal with my sense of humor.” Samus admitted. “She must’ve learned it from Green bean.”
“Why do you call her that?” Zelda inquired curiously and Samus shrugged.
“She claims it’s because of her hair, but it’s only to rile the goddess up.” Peach said. “As you can tell, they have a quirky relationship…” Zelda nodded slowly.
“It’s certainly something…”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
....
“Hpmh! I don’t need ‘em!” Bowser Jr. huffed, crossing his arms. The male Robin lowered his book with a soft smile.
“Your siblings giving you a rough time?” The Koopa Prince looked up at Robin indignantly. “Mild perk of sharing my body and soul with the fell dragon Grima.”
“I thought you guys beat ‘em.” Robin shrugged.
“I still hear his voice in my mind, so maybe he’ll show up as a final smash, kinda like in Heroes when I was ‘fallen’,” He trailed off. “Or it’s just some sick joke, either way, makes me good at reading and eating.” Bowser Jr. smiled slightly before slumping. “It’s not just getting teased is it?”
“They don’t like me and they don’t ever want to hang out with me.” The baby koopa admitted. “And they’re here on my invite! I mean I don’t want them breathing down my neck, but…”
“But you at least want some company, right?” Robin finished and Bowser Jr. nodded simply.
“They don’t like me to begin with, since I’m the one who’s gonna basically be their boss when I’m going to be king…” Robin nodded simply, though he was curious.
“I have been admittedly curious how your royal family works out…” Junior shrugged.
“Your guess is as good as mine.” Robin made a face. “Dad says it’s not really that important.”
“And chasing Mario is?”
“That’s what Kammy says!” Junior cackled at the stunned tactician's face. “But Kammy does a lot of the running of the kingdom anyways, especially when Dad flies over to the castle to kidnap Peach.”
“That’s….not very tactical.” Robin noted and Junior looked at him.
“We usually get Peach, but then Mario shows up at our place and beats dad.”
“That’s also...not very tactical.” Robin said slowly and Junior made a face.
“What does that even mean? That tactical thing…”
“It essentially is figuring out your opponent's plan of attack and keeping your side safe.” Junior frowned as he thought about that.
“Kinda like checkers?” Robin chuckled.
“Sort of, if you’d like I can show you some examples,”
“Sure!”
.
.
“Oh! Snake!” Snake turned and saw Isabelle coming over to him, holding a large book. “I was looking for you!”
“You were?” The blonde pup handed him the book. “Hmm? Oh…” He looked at the book, his expression hard to read.
“I remember from our conversation that you were training to do the Iditarod Trail Race, and I found a book on it so you can be even more prepared next year!” She said sweetly and Snake couldn’t help but wipe a few stray tears from his eyes. “Oh! Snake! Are you alright?”
“It’s just something in my eye Isabelle.” He said, smiling. “I really appreciate this…” Isabelle beamed brightly.
“Oh! How about we read it together in the lobby?” She offered up her paw and Snake nodded, deciding that he could give in to unlikely dreams one more time.
“Sure.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
....
“Poyo!” Kirby exclaimed as he pulled the Hylian knight to the main lobby, much to his confusion. “Poyo!” Link furrowed his brows before he saw that Samus and Captain Falcon were messing with the large screen and the “younger” smashers were sitting in front of it in their pajamas. “Poyo!”
“Oh hey me!” Toon Link said. “Are you coming to join us for movies?”
"It's not like he has a choice." Young Link pointed out. "Kirby is stubborn."
“Wha…” Link blinked slowly in confusion as Ness chuckled.
“We do this when we can’t sleep,” He explained. “Samus and Falcon put on movies and we all watch until we pass out.”
“Can’t get nightmares if we’re too exhausted to think clearly!” Toon Link laughed before sighing. “Yeah, not the best way of dealing with it…”
“Well none of us are professional psychologists.” Falcon noted and Samus made a scoff sound.
“If they’re anything like the Federation’s idea of ‘help’, I’d rather have Mickey Fucking Mouse to talk too.”
“Well if those newbie rumors are true and we get that key guy…” Lucas muttered softly before shaking his head and offering a smile at the older Link. “You’re welcome to join if you’d like, but we understand if you don’t want to…”
“Poyo!” Kirby said firmly before sucking up the tablet and then handing it to Link.
“Oh! He wants you to pick the first movie!” Link let out a shaky laugh, a bit overwhelmed but looked at the pink puff, who was looking at him owlishly. Link quickly skimmed through the tablet, trying to remember off the top of his head everyone’s personal likes and dislikes and what he figured the others thought of him; he was the hero after all, destined to face the Great Calamity and people had their image of the ideal hero and there is no need to stray-
“Link.” Link blinked slowly as Samus took his shoulder and gently shook him. He looked at her and she offered a soft smile. “Don’t think too much about it.” Link felt his face flush slightly as the woman took the tablet from him, much to Kirby’s pouts and whine. “Easy bucko, let’s just set it to random, ok?”
“But what if it’s a R-rated movie?” Samus rolled her eyes.
“You don’t tell Peach, I don’t tell Peach.” Link raised an eyebrow as Captain Falcon shrugged.
“It’s unlikely. Master Hand does have parental controls on the movie selection for the most part,”
“For the most part?” Young Link piped up.
“Wolf and Wario do enjoy to cause trouble.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
...“Are you friends of Mummy?” Peach made a small squeak sound of delight as she buried her face into the female Robin’s shoulder as Samus blinked slowly.“M-Mummy?” She echoed slowly as the little girl with the two very large braids nodded excitedly as Samus got to a knee to look at the girl. “Um...well…” Samus immediately noted a familiar pendant peeking out from under the girl’s dress. “Yes, yes we do…” She turned to the others and mouthed ‘Bayonetta’ and received a collective ‘Ooooh’ before the little girl embraced Samus, almost knocking the hunter over in surprise.“Yay! Mummy’s friends!” Samus was dumbfounded on how to react to the sudden affection, though luckily Lucina seemed to notice and came over to the two and got to a knee as well.“What is your name?”“Cereza.” The girl said, still hugging Samus.“That’s a very pretty name, Cereza. My name is Lucina,”“Lu-ci-na,” The girl repeated slowly before pointing to the mask that laid on the side of Lucina’s belt. “Mummy likes butterflies too!” Lucina followed the finger before picking up her mask, smiling softly.“Well, that’s quite wonderful!” Lucina chuckled before lifting it in front of the girl’s face, as if judging its size. “Hmmm...It might be a perfect fit!” The girl’s eyes went wide with excitement as she let go of Samus and, while admittedly jumping in excitement, allowed Lucina to put the mask on the her before posing and claiming she was just like her mummy. While this was happening, Palutena nudged the bounty hunter softly, who seemed to frozen.“You ok?”“I...think?” Samus managed out after a few minutes. “That’s….not a reaction I usually get…”“Seriously? What, does everything want to kill you in your games?”“....Maybe?”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
....
“I hate all of you.”
“Relax, Hedgehog.” Samus said as she adjusted the lab coat she was wearing as Mario applied the mustache wax to his pride and joy.
“Relax!? Relax?! I’m a robot!” The metal hedgehog gestured to himself. “Why am I a robot?!”
“Cause a talking hedgehog is weird.” Mario stated simply as he ran a hand through his hair. “And we’re undercover to get Rock.”
“I fought the guy and we know each other!”
“That’s in another timeline.” Samus hid her smirk as Sonic and Mario started bickering about the logistics of timelines as she turned to their other companion in this.
“You alright Pit?” The angel looked up from his messy tie and beamed.
“This is so cool!” Samus chuckled and came over and began to properly tie his tie. “I mean there’s so many things flying around! And we’re up so high! Man, I can’t wait to tell Palutena about this!” Mario chuckled.
“Now you remember the cover story?”
“Of course Mario!” Pit laughed as Samus finished. “You’re a doctor for kids doctor and Samus is an old things doctor! And Sonic’s like the the guide for the kids at the doctors so they don’t get scared?”
“Eh, close enough.” Mario chuckled. “But it’s pediatrics and archeology.” Samus chuckled and ruffled the angel’s hair.
“And you’re my assistant,”
“He’s an angel.” Sonic snarked.
“And you’re a hedgehog.” Mario retorted. “We can hide the wings. We unfortunately can’t hide your face.”
“HEY!” Samus sighed and shook her head.
“Leave it to the tournament boys. We got a robot to find.”
.
.
“Stupidest. Plan. Ever.” Marth muttered as he wore the Gerudo outfit.
“They don’t allow men in.” Ganon explained. “And in case you forgot, I’m a little hated in this timeline.” Marth fumed as he covered his face. “At least you look very fetching in the garment.” Marth let out a groan of annoyance as Ganon stole a glance at the two psychics, Ness helping tie Lucas’s belt. “Are you almost ready?”
“How’d you manage to find an outfit that would fit me?” Lucas asked and Ganon shrugged.
“I may have stored a few of my old outfits in the Manor, and Master Hand might’ve also bribed a certain princess to make sure they fit.” Ganon coughed nervously, his cheeks momentarily flushing. “Anyways, according to the merchant, they saw the Hero in there. You bring him out, and we’ll wait out for you.”
“Why?” Marth mumbled. “I understand you not going in with us, but why not Ness as well?”
“Cause Ness’ll help Ganon from blowing his cover.” Lucas said simply. “And I look cuter in this.” The prince opened his mouth before closing it and shaking his head.
“Very well. Let’s just get this over with then.” The two in drag made their way to the town and Ganon and Ness watched as they were let in by the guards. Ganon let out a small chuckle.
“Some things never change…”
.
.
“Luigi!” Robyn cried out as the Italian plumber was in front of the raging dragonite, hands out gently, like he was calming a rampaging horse. Simon stopped her as the dragon-like creature seemed to allow the plumber to pat its head. “How…” She said slowly as the pokemon was led over, Luigi cheerfully talking to the dragonite. “E-Even the Links can’t do that…”
“Back when me and my brother were-a living in Brooklyn, our parents took us to a farm out in the countryside during the summers.” Luigi explained simply, blushing slightly as the dragon nuzzled. “A-And I think one of the Boos said I was p-pretty intune with the natural world or something.”
“You most certainly are.” Simon said simply, a small smile on his face, before noticing a group coming closer. “Looks like we are going to have some company.” He said, frowning. “We need to get going.”
“Give us that Dragonite!” The leader of the group snarled, cracking his whip. “That’s property of Team Rocket!” Simon merely raised an eyebrow, his hand near his own whip twitching. Robyn and Luigi exchanged looks and nodded, Luigi pulling out his plunger.
“I think-a you need to be-a bit nicer!” Luigi said before looking at the Dragonite. “You go with Ms. Robyn, she’ll help you with your wing, m-me and Simon got these mooks.”
“Ha, no one can stop Team Ro-” The grunt fell back as a plunger connected with his face, Luigi sticking his tongue out as Robyn carefully went to the Dragonite, pulling out a small healing tome. The other grunts stared at their leader in momentary shock before they pulled out their pokeballs.
“You’re gonna get it now! Nobody messes with Team Rocket and lives to see another day!” Luigi and Simon exchanged looks of disbelief as Robyn finished healing the wild pokemon and gave the two men a mischievous grin as a fire spell formed in her hands, ready to fire at the grunts.
“Oh this most certainly will be fun.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
...
“Poyo!”
“Kirby seems to be making friends with the newest challenger.” Peach chuckled as Rosalina and her watched the pink puffball follow around the Phantom Thief, who was surprisingly taking this in stride, especially as he picked up the pink puffball.
“Come on, you can meet the rest of friends and Pancake, Kirby.” Kirby cheered in excitement as the two princesses realized exactly why the puffball was so happy about the new challenger.
“Joker!” The teen perked up at Peach’s voice and looked over. “You may need to explain to Kirby that Pancake is a name for a pet of yours,” She let out a chuckle as Joker’s face of confusion.
“Kirby believes you have food.” Rosalina explained before turning to Kirby. “Pancake is just the name of his pet, probably that cat creature-”
“I AM NOT A CAT!” Morgana’s voice hissed as the other Phantom Thieves entered the building.
“See, it’s not just me that thinks it.”
“Can it Skull!”
.
.
“For Fuck’s Sake Hand!” Master Hand, despite being a literal hand, looked confused as Snake stormed in, dragging the new challenger in. “He gets a gun
and
a knife!?”
“You got a military arsenal.” Joker pointed out and Snake turned and glared at him.
“
I’m
a secret agent! I’m supposed to be subtle!” He turned his wrath to the hand. “Not family friendly my ass!”
“Snake...it’s rather important to his battle form…” Master Hand said carefully. “He uses these to aid in his battles in the main game, which technically is in a fantasy realm.”
“I mean, Mementos isn’t exact-” Master Hand glared at the kid. “Sorry.”
“My point is that it’s not a real gun, Snake.”
“So if I shoot you with it, it’s not going to hurt?”
“Do that and your ass is going back in the box and being shipped back to Allstars.” Snake held open his arms.
“I’d like to see you try one handed!” Joker sighed as he started to sneak his way out of the office.
“Taking that as my cue to go…”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
....
“You like her?” Ganon shrugged absently as Toon was fighting back laughter.
“She is a tolerable indiv-”
“You thought she was a guy too, huh?” Ganon hunched his shoulders and looked away as Time laughed, much to Ganon’s embarrassment. Peach chuckled gently.
“That will make Samus happy then,” The warriors of Hyrule looked at her in confusion. “It’s far easier for her to be thought of as a male bounty hunter.”
“Why?” Toon asked slowly and Peach shrugged.
“Make a wild guess.” She retorted before shaking her head. “Besides, you boys shouldn't be ragging on Ganon on whether or not he has a crush on Samus.”
“Why not?” Time snarked as Peach took both his and Toon’s shoulders and leaned close into their ears.
“Because neither your little shits got to first base with your Zeldas so you don’t have any room to talk.” She said simply and stood up, both boy’s faces agape with stunned horror as Ganon managed to keep his reaction subtle as she brushed off her dress. “Well, I’m off to go bake Mario and his brother a delightful cake! Tata~” She walked towards the Smash Kitchen before pausing at the doorway and turning. “Ganon?”
“Yes princess?”
“Samus does like apples, so perhaps you could invite her to the Villager’s Harvest Festival next time it rolls around~” She turned and walked towards the kitchen, leaving the wielder of the Triforce of Power red faced while the two of Courage were trying to process that the princess had said.
.
.
“Move your feet!” Samus lifted her legs off the coffee table for a few moments before setting them down again after the Italian grunt of approval.
“Isn’t this supposed to be a vacation for you Wah-man?”
“Construction waits for no man.” Wario grumbled. “I need-a to make sure that the budget is correct and there’s no surprises for this Dam.”
“Isabelle is a secretary, she could probably help.”
“Got a reputation to uphold Sam. Can’t have everybody thinkin’ I’m actually a decent person; then they won’t throw their punches as hard.” Samus rolled her eyes.
“That’s certainly a way of looking at it.”
“Time is money Sam, I’ve got to keep on schedule!” Samus snorted before leaning back in her seat as the large Italian worked on his paperwork before he sent it back to his own universe, unaware that that the secretary for the Villager was in the hallway and had heard the whole thing. Samus spotted the pup and winked at her.
“I’m just saying, more eyes giving it the once over could help. And I’m paid to bring people in, not make numbers to things.” Wario glared at her before Samus pointed to Isabelle. Wario turned to see Isabelle, opened his mouth as if he wanted to argue before muttering under his breath in Italian.
“Fine, if she wants to help me, then she can come in.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
...
“It’s gonna be ok Kirby,”
“POOOYOOO!!!” Samus gently shushed the little pink puff ball as they sat outside the infirmary.
“He’s gonna fix your bird as soon as possible,”
“Poyo?” Samus nodded simply.
“He’s the best doctor we got after all.” Kirby sniffled as the door opened and Dr. Mario stepped out, holding the plush toy bird that Kirby got when Banjo joined.
“It’s-a full recovery!” He said brightly as he handed the doll to the Star Warrior, who clutched it and blubbered out his thanks. “It’s-a no problem Kirby! I’m always glad to help-a out.” Kirby nuzzled his toy and Samus chuckled, getting up.
“Let’s get you back to your dorm, ok buddy?”
“Poyo!”
“I suppose I can tell you a story too.” Samus chuckled leading the Star Warrior back to his dorm, shooting a smile to the Doctor.
.
.
“Poyo!”
“You are looking adorable Kirby!” Peach giggled as the pink puffball twirled around in his costume. “And you made it all by yourself?”
“Po! Poyo!”
“Oh, Lucinia helped you? How wonderful!”
“W-What?” Kirby and Peach turned to see Meta Knight staring at them.
“Po! Poyo! Po!” Kirby sang cheerfully as he twirled around, his dark blue cape following behind. Meta Knight was silent as the younger Star Warrior showed off his costume. “Poyo~ Po! Poyo!”
“You...are dressed as me….” Meta Knight managed out slowly, confusion obvious. “Why?”
“Halloween is in a few days after all,” Peach said simply and raised an eyebrow as the knight blinked slowly. “You know what Halloween is, right?”
“Of course...but why are you dressed as me?” Meta Knight looked at Kirby who beamed brightly.
“Poyo!”
“Oh Kirby! That’s so sweet you see him as your hero!” Meta Knight made what might’ve been an attempt to cover up his embarrassed squeak as Peach smirked; even he wasn’t immune to the adorableness that Kirby exhumed.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
...“Poyo!” Kirby explained, leading the One Winged Angel through the Manor, blissfully ignoring the death glares from those that were voluntold to be in the angel's trailer, with the exception of Mario, who was busy having a tirade about the death track record to the boss. "Po! Poyo!""I see.""You must be the new guy," Samus said, walking towards him. "Severed Toes or something.""Sephiroth." He corrected.“Yeah, Severed Toes. Look, you’re going to have to room up with someone,”“Poyo?” “Let’s just say a pair of purple wearing dingbats didn’t appreciate the, and I quote, ‘the wrong Square Enix person’ showing up.”“Po...poyo?”“What.”“Their words, not mine. Either way, you got to find someone willing to be your roommate until that gets-” A chorus of ‘Not It’ rang through the manor and Samus didn’t even bother hiding her smug look. “Looks like you’ve made quite the impression.”“I am going to kill you.”“Poyo!” Kirby swatted the man, only reaching his boot, chewing him out for his behavior. “Po! Poyo! Poyo!” Samus chuckled as the gray haired man clearly wanted to punt the puffball.“I could knock him out with a chair, Kirby, don’t worry,” Samus said. “I know Pichu and Ridley would be willing to have a temporary roommate, but if not, I’m sure there’d be at least someone willing to make arrangements with you.” The death glare was now on her, not that she was bothered by it, given her profession.“I’ll think about it.”..“This may be the closest thing we have to that Mouse Guy or one of those Princess showing up,” Samus laughed to the other ladies as they had were outside, watching the One Winged Angel being given a tour by Pichu and Kirby, basically being dragged around by the cute and adorable. “How’s Mario by the way?”“Well he stopped arguing with Master Hand,” Peach said slowly. “And there hasn’t been any fireballs as far as I know…” Samus nodded and looked at Zelda, who was staring at her tea uncomfortably.“You alright Princess?” Zelda didn’t answer, which got everyone concerned. “Zelda?” Peach took the younger appearing princess’s hand and squeezed it gently, Luciana doing the same with the other hand and there was a silent understanding; Zelda was still processing the entire trailer and what she had to go through, especially given the repeat of seeing Galeem again, this entire situation probably brought up some less than stellar memories. Samus looked at Palutena. “You know Palutena, I think you can handle the lunch and dinner menu tonight,” Palutena raised an eyebrow but there was a hint of a smile, knowing what Samus was suggesting.“I suppose it wouldn’t be too difficult for a goddess, but I could use some assistance with some of the other world’s ingredients, perhaps you could assist me,” Peach stared at the two in disbelief.“Do not actually kill him.” Palutena and Samus looked at each other, and then at Peach.“No promises.”