Work Text
Craig 9:52
hey, you up?
Clyde 9:52
i fucking hate your fuckboy ass, dude. yes, i am.
Craig 9:53
cool, want to come over?
Clyde 9:55
not really, i have an early class tomorrow
Craig 9:55
come on, there are new episodes of our show on hulu
Clyde 9:56
you are so transparent
Craig 9:56
would it help if i said i just want to touch you until you cry is that what you want to hear?
Clyde 9:57
i won’t fucking cry.
Craig 9:58
i’ll take that bet :) Clyde scoffs and throws his phone on his bed. He wants to not go, just out of spite. To prove Craig wrong. To show that bastard that he doesn’t need him. Leave him hanging for once.But his cock twitches in his jeans just thinking about those hands. Those stupid fucking hands that never fail to make him eat his words.He throws on his coat and grabs his keys, frowning the whole way to his car. It takes him all of ten minutes to drive to Craig’s place. He sits in the car another ten minutes before going inside, just to be a brat about it.When Craig opens the door, Clyde doesn’t look at him as he pushes past. He takes off his coat and shoves it into Craig’s hands before taking a seat on the couch, arms crossed like he doesn’t want to be there.“You’re in as good a mood as ever. You look nice,” Craig says. He takes a seat beside Clyde after putting his coat up and kisses his cheek. “I thought you weren’t coming?” he teases. That voice sends shivers down Clyde’s spine. It’s like Craig has him trained to get hard every time he speaks. It’s disgusting how much Clyde likes it. But he can’t make it that easy for him.“Fuck off,” Clyde mutters, sinking down in his spot, arms still crossed. “Play the show. I didn’t come over here for nothing.”“Have it your way,” Craig says. He backs off from Clyde’s personal space and presses play on the show.Five minutes in, and Clyde is already getting antsy. Why the fuck hasn’t Craig touched him yet?? He’s going to make Clyde ask for it… That sadistic asshole.Another two minutes of resistance, and Clyde is nearly squirming in his seat. His whines audibly, frustrated, before pressing his side to Craig’s. He leans on Craig, inviting the other man to finally touch him… but he doesn’t.Clyde groans now, hating to admit defeat. But he knows that Craig likes it when he actually asks for what he wants. And if he wants to be touched, then he’s going to have to say it.“Fucking touch me , Craig,” he growls. Then, after a moment, he adds a grudging, “Please.”“All you had to do was ask, baby,” Craig says, in that soothing, overpowering voice he has. “No need to get so upset about it.”Asshole.Craig puts his arm around Clyde’s shoulder, pulling him closer against his body. He turns his head and nuzzles into Clyde’s neck, kissing him tenderly.Clyde audibly shudders with those warm lips on his neck. He doesn’t stand a chance anymore.Craig continues to kiss and lightly nibble at Clyde’s neck as his hand finds it’s way up Clyde’s thigh. He squeezes the flesh between Clyde’s legs, slowly feeling him up through his jeans.Clyde sighs, his eyes closed as Craig lulls him into easy submission. Fuck, his pants aren’t even off yet and he’s putty in Craig’s hands.One of his hands falls on top of Craig’s, attempting to guide him into unzipping his jeans. He whimpers when Craig refuses. He’s already hard, and Craig’s touch through the thick denim fabric just isn’t enough. He wants more.Craig sucks purple bruises into Clyde’s skin. He kisses and teases the tender flesh while his fingers work below. He finally opens Clyde’s pants, but it’s still only a tease. He goes back to touching and massaging Clyde’s thigh.The noises Clyde makes when Craig teases him make everything worth it. The little whimpers, restrained moans, frustrated curses. Craig eats it up.“Take your pants off,” Craig says, and even if it’s quiet, a whisper, it still has that dominating tone to it, and Clyde can’t refuse. His fingers shake as he stands and pulls his pants the rest of the way off. When he tries to sit back down, Craig pulls him into his lap instead.Clyde can feel exactly how hard Craig is now, still fully clothed, against his ass. He shivers again. Craig probably isn’t even going to give it to him and that makes him want to cry already. But he’s not going to cry .Craig’s hands are on him again. One arm holds him around his waist while the other hand pushes inside his underwear.Finally. Finally Craig’s fingers touch his bare cock. He moans helplessly and rocks back in Craig’s lap as he’s stroked. His skin lights on fire everywhere Craig touches it. Before he knows it, he’s telling Craig he’s close, broken words between quiet cries.He sucks in a breath when Craig stops, his fingers wrapped loosely around his base. His orgasm subsides without ever hitting him, and he whines loudly. “What the hell, Craig?” he asks, on heavy breaths.Then Craig starts again, and Clyde is struck with the realization that Craig has no intentions of letting him cum.“Nooo…” Clyde whines. He bites his own lip to stop from begging, but it doesn’t last. Another fifteen minutes of Craig edging him, and he’s on the border of tears. He’s hot and oversensitive and every time Craig touches him, his body jolts and he sobs.He’s lost count of how many orgasms Craig has ruined for him. He’s lost track of his own thoughts. Anything other than getting Craig to finally let him cum has left his mind.“Craig, please,” he begs, tears finally rolling down his cheeks. “ Pleas e , it hurts,” he whimpers. They have a safe word, and he considers using it, but deep down, he really doesn’t want to. Not yet. Craig has to let him cum eventually, right?Another ruined orgasm, and Clyde’s sob wracks his whole body. “Please,”he begs again. “Please, Craig, ple as e, please .” He gulps down a breath, his body shaking in Craig’s lap. “ Please just let me cum. ”“My poor baby…” Craig coos. He wipes Clyde’s tears with a thumb and starts to stroke him again. This time, he doesn’t stop. He finally lets Clyde cum, and the tears come even harder when he does. His poor sensitive cock absolutely aches with the orgasm. It drains every drop of energy from him, and he sinks back in Craig’s lap when it’s finally over, trembling. His eyes still water, but he closes them out of exhaustion.Craig shifts to lay down, pulling Clyde against his chest. He wipes his tears and kisses his cheeks, telling him how good he did. How pretty his tears are.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Craig 3:23
i got you something
Clyde 3:24
i didnt realize that we were in a gift-giving type of relationship
Craig 3:24
we arent
but i saw it, and it made me think of you
Clyde’s heart skips a beat. Craig thinks of him when he’s not around? What does that mean??
He can feel himself flushing, but he’s at work, so he covers it with his hands and takes a few minutes to shut himself up before picking his phone up again.
Clyde 3:33
how sweet of you.
Nice, Clyde, stay cool.
Clyde 3:33
but im busy and tomorrow is christmas eve. ive got plans with my family, youre going to have to wait to see me
Craig 3:34
thats fine, i can wait
but can you? ;)
Clyde 3:35
one of these days i wont be around anymore and youll have no one left to harass with your insulting words
…
Clyde 3:36
i can be there around nine on christmas day
bastard
Craig 3:36
ill be waiting <3
It makes Clyde
furious
that Craig always gets what he wants, but he can’t fucking help himself. He always ends up hanging on Craig’s every last word and he feels pathetic. Why does he let this happen?
Because Craig’s dick is bomb. And Clyde doesn’t have a girlfriend right now.
...He really needs to find a girlfriend. Then he won’t even need Craig anymore.
But what did Craig buy him for Christmas?
Why
did Craig buy him something for Christmas?
Clyde groans and buries his head in his arms on his desk. This whole thing is stupid. So fucking stupid.But, of course, he can’t stop thinking about it for the next two days. His nerves are through the goddamn roof by the time he’s finally knocking on Craig’s door. He’s probably built it up in his head for no reason and it’s some stupid little gift. A joke. A lie, even, what if there’s no gift at all?But what if it’s something sweet? What if it’s thoughtful? What if it’s romantic??He screams when Craig opens the door, having completely fucking forgotten where he was. Smooth, Clyde.
Craig laughs at him, but it’s in that warm, soothing voice of his that makes Clyde’s heart melt and his knees weak. “Did I scare you? Come in here, you weirdo,” he says, pulling Clyde by the hand.
He takes Clyde’s coat, like always, and invites him into the kitchen. “I’m sure you already ate, but I’ve got wine. And beer. And liquor, honestly, anything you want to drink.”Clyde looks inside when Craig opens the fridge and makes a face. “Jesus, dude, how old are you?Nineteen? You have more booze than you do food! Do you even have food in here?”
“Alright, lay off me. Who are you, my dad?” Craig grabs two beers and shuts the fridge, handing one off to Clyde. “Excuse me for being a good host. You know, you aren’t the only person who ever visits me here.”
Clyde’s stomach drops as he watches Craig crack open his beer. He’s not the only one Craig sees…? Why does that information hurt so fucking much? He laughs nervously, trying to brush it off. “It’s a good thing we use condoms then, isn’t it?” he says, and it was meant to be a joke, but oh god, that wasn’t funny. What if Craig gets weirded out and stops seeing him now?
Craig shakes his head. “No, dude, you’re the only one I’m fucking right now. But I do have other friends.” He seems casual when he says it, like it doesn’t mean anything, but the wave of relief that washes over Clyde is unbelievable.
Craig shrugs and motions for Clyde to follow him back out to the living room. They sit next to each other on the couch. There’s a box on the coffee table.Craig pushes the box toward Clyde and leans back in the couch, arm around Clyde’s shoulders, absolutely comfortable. “That’s for you,” he says.
Clyde sets his still unopened beer down and takes the box in his lap. “I still don’t know why you did this…” he says. Nonetheless, he pulls at the ribbon until it falls away and lifts the lid off the box. “...I’m confused,” he says, pulling a strand of even more red ribbon out of the box.
“Yeah, I should have told you that the present was mostly for me,” Craig says, leaning in to touch the ribbon. “It was so pretty and soft, all I could see when I looked at it was you tied up in it.”It takes a second, but Clyde finally catches up and slams the lid back on the box. “That’s so lame!” he cries, embarrassed about every single aspect of this present. “Who buys a present like this??”“Me,” Craig says simply. His arm drops from Clyde’s shoulder to wrap around his waist, his nose dropping to nuzzle Clyde’s neck. “If you don’t want to do it, that’s cool. I just thought it would be sexy.” He kisses Clyde’s neck with a hum. “I bet you’d look super cute in it.”Clyde presses his lips together, feeling like he wants to scream. He’s hot all over and he doesn’t know what to say. Craig always leaves him speechless in one way or another.
Craig keeps kissing at his neck, though, and it’s stirring something in him that wants to say yes. “We can try it… I guess…” he says, his fingers clinging to the box. “But I want you to do something for me later.”
That grabs Craig’s attention. Clyde
never
asks for anything. Never initiates anything. It’s always Craig who makes the first move. “Yeah?” he asks, obviously interested. “What exactly do you want from me?”
“I want…” Clyde starts, but the words won’t come out of his mouth. “I want you to wait and see what I want,” he says. He’s never been good at voicing things like this, but Craig doesn’t seem bothered by it.
“Hmm… It’s a deal. I’ll let you do whatever you want with me next time. Pinky swear.” Craig links their pinkies with a grin. “I can’t wait,” he adds.
Craig stands and pulls Clyde along by their linked pinkies. In the bedroom, Craig takes the box of ribbon and drops it on the bed. He pulls Clyde close and kisses him thoroughly while he works on removing Clyde’s clothes.
Once he’s naked, Craig slowly pushes him back down on the bed, crawling over him as he goes, still kissing him.
Clyde stops him, though, with a hand on his chest and a pout on his lips. “Why am I always naked and you’re not?” he asks.
Craig raises an eyebrow and fails to come up with a real answer. “I, uh… Honestly didn’t realize. I’m not worried about me being naked, I’m not looking at me.” He ducks to kiss Clyde’s jaw, whispering now that he’s close. “You didn’t tell me you wanted me naked. You never tell me what you really want. It’s always a game with you.”
Craig sighs dramatically as he sits back up, still straddling Clyde’s hips. “But that’s just how you bratty types are, isn’t it? Everything is a game.” He pulls his shirt off and works open his pants.
“I’m not a brat,” Clyde mumbles, but even as he says it, he realizes exactly how it sounds. He watches Craig tug the rest of his clothes off and god, maybe he should ask for what he wants more often. Who knew it could be so easy?
Craig is back on top of him again, but this time, with the box. “I’m gonna be honest here,” he says, starting to pull the ribbon out. “I’ve played with rope before, but not much. I don’t really know what I’m doing. So…” He takes a strip and wraps it loosely around Clyde’s wrist. “I’m just going to make it pretty, and if anything hurts or feels too tight, you need to tell me. Okay?”Clyde rolls his eyes. “What kind of dom can’t tie a rope?”“Hey, just shut the fuck up and let me do this,” Craig says, obviously not liking being the one mace fun of for once. “I’ve never really had a reason to learn… but if you like it, I’ll buy a few books.”It’s the most vulnerable Clyde has ever heard Craig sound. Like he actually cares about Clyde’s well being and he’s not just a random piece of ass.
Craig brings the ribbon down around Clyde’s chest and holds it there, like he’s got Clyde on a leash. “Seriously, though, I don’t want to fucking hurt you, so you need to tell me if anything feels wrong, alright?”
Clyde nods, and Craig starts tying.
He leaves the bows around Clyde’s body loose, being mostly for show anyway. He just wants to see Clyde all wrapped up like a present just for him. Looking like a Christmas snack, only for him…
When he gets to the wrists, he chooses to tie them to the headboard. He wants to see Clyde squirm and struggle to use his hands, only to not be able to touch himself. He loves when Clyde gets hot and frustrated and starts crying…
“You’re gorgeous,” Craig says, low, almost a whisper. His eyes are dark as he looks down on Clyde, clouded with the desire to
take
him. “Now you’re all mine… You would have looked so perfect under the tree this morning.”
Clyde’s cheeks heat up and he turns his head away. His fingers grip into fists above his head, full of sparks. Craig always says embarrassing fucking things like that and Clyde never knows how to take the compliments. “Maybe next year…” he says.
Craig chuckles again, leaning down to kiss his neck again. “Maybe by next year, you’ll really be mine.”
Clyde’s heart races with the implication of Craig’s words. He bites his lip as Craig’s mouth makes it’s way down Clyde’s chest. He gasps and pulls at his wrists when Craig’s lips wrap around his cock.
“Goddamnit,” he breathes, his toes curling beneath him as he fails to reach down and curl his fingers in Craig’s hair.
Craig only hums in response. It’s smooth and warm and wet as he moves his head, sucking Clyde down with every bob of his head. He can already feel Clyde shaking beneath him, and he thinks maybe the buildup with the ribbon was already a lot, and they should get to the point.
He pulls off and kisses down Clyde’s length to his balls, between his thighs, all of his most sensitive places.
Clyde whines and pulls at his wrists again. It’s overwhelming to be completely at someone else’s mercy, unable to participate, unable to pull away. It lights him on fire in the best way possible. He had no idea he would be into this, but jesus christ, is he into it.
Maybe it’s just Craig.
Clyde lets out a helpless moan when Craig’s tongue slips down past his balls. He squirms and tries to write away, the skin there being far too sensitive for this kind of treatment. Waves of pleasure roll over him with a simple kiss, and he’s not going to make it if Craig decides to eat him out.
Thankfully, Craig doesn’t, and Clyde sighs with relief when Craig sits up to pull a condom out of the night stand. As nice as it would have been, he wants to feel Craig inside him tonight. It’s been a while since they’ve just… had regular sex, and Clyde is
here for it
.
Craig rolls on the condom and pushes Clyde’s thighs back. “I missed you…” Craig says, and Clyde doesn’t have time to even process what that means before Craig is pushing into him. He rolls his head back with a throaty moan as he’s filled completely with Craig’s cock.
Clyde curses and shakes his head, tugging at his wrists again, because it’s all just way too much. He wants to touch Craig, he wants to touch himself, he wants to
feel
it in his hands.
His eyes roll back as Craig thrusts into him. “Craig…” he whines, his hips rocking to meet every push. His eyes burn with tears, but they don’t fall. Not this time. He grits his teeth and holds it all in, fingers wrapped tight around the ribbon like his life depends on it.
“So fucking pretty,” Craig coos again, eyes soaking in every bit of the scene beneath him. He can’t help himself, and leans down to kiss Clyde’s lips. Clyde kisses him desperately, like he can’t get enough, and Craig knows that neither of them is going to last another thirty seconds.
The second Craig wraps his fingers around Clyde’s cock, he comes. Craig strokes him through it, imagining how he looks, messy and sweaty and tied up in those ribbons. He keeps kissing him, drinking in those sweet little noises until his own orgasm hits.
He comes while still inside, and part of him wishes Clyde could feel it. He wants Clyde to know what it’s like to be
really
filled up.
He pulls out when he’s done and curls up at Clyde’s side. He lazily remembers he should untie Clyde’s wrists, so he does, but he doesn’t let him go. He pulls Clyde into his arms with a deep sigh.Neither of them says anything for while.
“Do you want to stay the night?” Craig asks.
It hangs in the air with no response. Clyde has never spent the night before, so maybe Craig crossed a line?
Oh-- no.
Clyde already fell asleep.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Sunlight filters in through the window, and Craig squints his eyes against it. He rolls over and is surprised to find another warm body in his bed.
Right, Clyde spent the night.
He opens his eyes to watch Clyde sleep, peacefully, undisturbed. The quiet appreciation only lasts a few minutes before something else hits him. The desire to see that peaceful, sleepy face twisted in pleasure.
However… they never talked about this. So Craig probably shouldn’t just do it without asking. But there’s nothing wrong with teasing, right?
Craig touches Clyde’s face gently before slipping down under the covers. He traces his nails, his fingertips, his palms over Clyde’s chest and sides as he moves down.
He ends up straddled over Clyde’s knees, face to face with Clyde’s still naked cock. It’s soft with sleep, but Craig is determined not to let that last.
He starts to run his fingernails over Clyde’s thighs. It’s not hard, it won’t even leave a line, but it’s something that drives Clyde crazy.
He stays low under the blankets as he drags his nails over Clyde’s hips and between his thighs. It’s a slow, lazy touch, but soon enough Clyde starts to stir. His confused cock twitches to life, and Craig is dying to put his mouth around it.
Clyde’s eyes screw shut as he’s slowly brought to consciousness by… something nice. He feels good and he doesn’t know why. It takes a moment for him to realize the weight on his legs and the purposeful touches under the blanket.
He whimpers and covers his eyes with his arms. He feels warm and cozy and soft and his skin is buzzing with sensation. His tired brain can hardly keep up, but he feels good, so good, and he doesn’t want it to stop.
“Craig,” he says, but it comes out on a quiet moan. “What are you doing?” he asks. He lifts the blankets to see Craig on top of him, still just tracing his nails gently over the sensitive skin of his thighs.
“I was waiting for you to wake up so I could suck you off,” Craig says. Clyde shudders and groans. He drops the blanket over Craig’s shoulders so he can cover his face with his hands again. Why is it so easy for Craig to make him blush?
“Can I?” Craig asks, and Clyde just nods his head without taking his hands off his face.
It’s exactly how Craig pictured it would be. Clyde all flustered and red and still half asleep but
wanting
. It’s cute.
He smiles to himself as he licks up Clyde’s now hard shaft. He kisses down to his balls, and then back up to the tip, still teasing, just to hear Clyde whine about it. He loves it when Clyde is vocal and frustrated.
He finally takes it between his lips, deep in his mouth, and Clyde sighs. He sucks long and lazy and Clyde’s fingers curl into his hair, his hips arching off the bed.
Craig takes the opportunity to slide a hand beneath him and stroke a finger over his hole. Clyde’s muffled moan of approval is enough for him to push it inside.
Clyde bites down on his hand, feeling like there’s no other way for him to release this pent up energy inside him. He feels like he’s going to burst if he doesn’t keep himself grounded somehow.
When Craig starts to stroke his sweet spot, Clyde doesn’t even try to hold back his orgasm. It rips through him, freely and raw with it being the only thing on his mind. He feels completely broken and limbless, like the whole thing was just a dream and he can’t tell if it’s real.
“You’re so sweet, baby,” Craig coos, in that soft voice. Clyde is still trembling slightly when Craig comes up to kiss him. “Good morning.” Another kiss. “I’m going to go take a shower. Take your time getting up.”
Clyde watches Craig go, and then lays there in a daze for several minutes. He’s warm and comfortable and decides to snuggle back down into his pillows. What a way to wake up.
...in Craig’s apartment.
The realization finally starts to hit him that he stayed the night as music begins to come from the bathroom down the hall. He had spent the night with Craig in Craigs bed and woke up… like this.
He sits up and looks around the room. It all feels new, seeing it in the fresh morning sunlight. It’s kinda weird. But also nice. Definitely nice.
Definitely never thought he’s end up here.
He considers getting up to either join Craig in the shower or find something to eat, but he feels like he’s attached to the bed. The blankets have swallowed him and he’s never getting up. He’s still a little disoriented from his waking orgasm, and he feels like it’ll be fine if he doesn’t get up.
Eventually he hears the water stop, but the music keeps playing. Craig doesn’t come back though, and Clyde starts to drift back to sleep.
Thirty or so minutes go by, and Clyde is shaken awake again with a hand on his shoulder. He opens his eyes to see Craig sitting on the edge of the bed. “Hey man, you can stay as long as you want, but you should probably get dressed. I got people coming over.”
“Who?” Clyde asks, stupidly, as he realizes he doesn’t know any of Craig’s friends.
“Just a few of the guys. There’s breakfast if you want some.”
The moment is surreal. Clyde is looking up at Craig from his bed and he just feels… so comfortable, and it suddenly scares him. This isn’t how this is supposed to be. It’s not supposed to feel so good. He’s not supposed to
want to stay
.
“Um…” he says, unable to come up with something to say. “...What’s for breakfast?”
“Cereal,” Craig says, and relief washes over Clyde again. Of course it’s cereal. What else would it be? It’s not like Craig would cook for him, they aren’t dating. This is normal. Relax.
Clyde sits up and rubs his eyes. “Can I shower first?”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
**
Three months ago.
**
Stop feeling sorry for yourself, Clyde, it’s time to move on. She left you. For real this time. Probably. It’s been a week and she hasn’t answered any of your texts, at least. That probably means something.
He rolls onto his stomach on his bed, burying his face in his pillow with a groan. It’s stupid, the reason she left him anyway. She thinks something is going on with him that’s
not
and she won’t listen to him about it.
Just because he looks at guys sometimes doesn’t mean he likes them more than her. Guys are just guys, but she’s his
girlfriend
.
Was. Was his girlfriend.
And yeah, okay, he’s had his moments. He’s been with a few guys, but he’s never dated one. It’s not like that. It was never like it was with her.
But she seems to think he’s repressed and doesn’t love her enough.
Maybe he should take this opportunity to prove her wrong. He’s not saying she’s
completely
wrong; sex with guys can be nice, but that’s just it. Just sex. Not boyfriends.
Clyde only dates girls.
Specifically one girl for the last four years.
But maybe he should run with it. Try it out with a few guys, and when it inevitably doesn’t work out, he can come back to her and say, for sure, absolutely, she is the only one for him. No man will ever be better than her.
He rolls onto his back and pulls his phone up. He opens the app store and searches
gay dating
. Easy enough.
Except way more apps pop up than he thought would. What the hell.
He scrolls through match, tinder, okcupid, and several other things he’s never heard of and doesn’t care about. He can’t use any of those apps, they have women on them. What if one of her friends sees him on there? Or
she’s
on there? Bad idea.
He finally comes across grindr and realize he was stupid for not just searching that in the first place. Perfect for hookups and not relationships. Exactly what he needs.
He downloads it, and gets stuck again at trying to make his profile. He struggles to find a profile picture without her in it.
He finds himself just scrolling through hundreds of pictures of them together and feeling sorry for himself again.
He finally finds a selfie and sets the profile, but he doesn’t even want to do it anymore. It was a stupid idea, he should just call her again.
He calls, but she doesn’t answer.
He goes to sleep.
Over the next seven days, he plays with the app a bit. He talks to a few guys, but his heart isn’t in it, and the conversations are awkward and boring. There’s only so many responses he can come up with to “hey.”
He slumps into his work desk and swipes through more pictures than he cares to count. Too many.
He gets another message, which makes him sigh and roll his eyes. He’s tired of this and he just wants his girlfriend back already.
He opens the match and reads the message.
Craig 4:36
youre cute but you dont have a bio dude
how am i supposed to know if i need to make small talk first or if youre just here to fuck
Clyde raises his eyebrows at the words, not used to someone being so up front. He actually responds this time.
Clyde 4:36
what are you here for?
Craig 4:37
okay so you didnt even read mine, youre definitely only here to fuck
Clyde gapes, not knowing what to say. That wasn’t why he didn’t read it, he’s just tired of trying.
Craig 4:37
want to come over?
Clyde bites his lip. This guy is so straight forward, it’s hard to want to say no. That kind if
is
the only reason Clyde is on the app. He didn’t think about it that way at first, but here he is.
He opens Craig’s profile again to flip through his pictures a few times. The guy is attractive enough. Fuck it. Why the hell not?
Clyde 4:39
is 6 okay?
Clyde’s heart suddenly races with the idea of going to some random guys house for anonymous sex. What if it hurts his girlfriend’s feelings?
...Ex-girlfriend.
Craig 4:39
any time, just text me
heres my number xxx-xxx-xxxx
Clyde 4:40
cool
Clyde face plants on his desk. Cool?? Who says
cool
when they’re trying to get laid? Uncool people, that’s who.
He’s fidgety for the rest of his shift until he finally gets to go home. It’s been a long time since he’s done this, meeting someone new. Especially when it’s just for sex. Is he supposed to dress nice? Do his hair? Wear cologne? What level of put together is he supposed to look to seem like he’s not a slob, but also doesn’t care that much?Six-thirty rolls around and he finally texts Craig for the address. He makes the ten minute drive and then sits in his car, his hands glued to the steering wheel.
Why the fuck is he so nervous? He doesn’t even know this guy. And he never has to see him again if it goes badly. And if it goes well then… what is there to lose? Nothing. So go the fuck inside, Clyde.
He finally drags himself out of the car and goes up the stairs to knock on the door. He smiles awkwardly when Craig opens the door and keeps his hands shoved in his jacket pockets. “Hey.”
“Hey,” Craig repeats, with much more confidence than Clyde has. He brings Clyde in and offers a hand. “Can I take your coat?”
Clyde hesitates, and Craig notices. “Look, man, if you’re not into it, you don’t have to stay.”
“No, I-- I want to stay, I promise,” Clyde says. He feels like an idiot now as he hands his coat off to Craig. “I’m just… nervous, I guess. I haven’t done this in a while.”
Wow, way to run your mouth, Clyde, now he thinks you’re an idiot
and
inexperienced.
“Don’t worry, I’ll be gentle,” Craig says, grinning now.
Clyde can’t tell if he’s being laughed at, but he doesn’t think Craig is trying to be mean. “Uh, thanks,” he says, but them he realizes… does that mean Craig is a top? From a bigger guy, Clyde would expect that, but Craig is skinny, and not much taller that Clyde is.
His train of thought is broken by Craig guiding him to the couch in the living room. “Take a seat, let’s get you relaxed. Can I get you a drink? Do you smoke?” He hands Clyde the remote for the TV.
“Beer is fine…” Clyde says. He takes the remote and avoids Craig’s eye contact. As far as he’s concerned, this is a disaster. He’s embarrassed by how much of a loser he’s being, and he has no idea why Craig hasn’t kicked him out yet.
He picks a random show on Hulu without looking and it starts to play as Craig comes back with the beers. Craig hands him one, unopened, and sits beside him. They’re close, but not too close. He appreciated that Craig is being considerate of his weird behavior, even after saying he was only coming over to have sex. If Craig was pushy, he would have felt even worse.
The show plays quietly on the TV for a while. The dim light from the one lamp in the room makes everything feel… a little homey. As he drains his beer, Clyde becomes more and more comfortable with the situation.
Craig seems to notice as he relaxes, because they end up cuddled together on one end of the couch. Clyde is practically in Craig’s lap, leaning on his chest, Craig’s arm around him, and he wonders when exactly all that happened.
Craig’s thumb rubs over Clyde’s shoulder and his nose touches Clyde’s neck. “So…” he starts, quieter than the TV, “Can I kiss you yet?” He presses his lips to Clyde’s neck tenderly and says, “I can wait for next time, if that’s what you want… But I don’t want to.”
Next time
makes Clyde shiver. There’s not supposed to be a next time. They’re supposed to have sex, not fall in love, and then he can tell his ex that she was wrong and everything is fine and they’ll get back together. Perfect ending.
“Now is good,” Clyde says. He turns his head and Craig is already there to meet him for a kiss.
It’s different. It’s so much different from kissing her… but it feels good. Craig is warm and weirdly comforting and Clyde wants to keep going.
They kiss slow and sweet, and Craig’s tongue leaves him breathless and dazed. He hardly even notices Craig’s hand on his thigh, moving in. He does notice, though, when his pants are open and Craig’s hand is wrapped around him.
“
Fuck
,” he hisses, ducking his head from the kiss as Craig strokes him. Craig doesn’t stop, though, and just moves on to kissing Clyde’s neck.
Between kisses, Craig says, “You should take your clothes off and come closer.”
And Clyde feels
compelled
to do what Craig says. Maybe the guy really is a top.
Clyde easily pulls his shirt off and tosses it aside, but he doesn’t want to move any further when Craig is touching him like that.
“Go on,” Craig urges, pulling his hands away to work on his own button and zipper.
Clyde groans, feeling a surge of unreasonable desire as he watches Craig’s fingers move. It’s not fair that he should be this turned on for a one night stand.
He gets off the couch to strip the rest of his clothes, then lands himself in Craig’s lap, straddled over his hips. He takes Craig’s chin and pulls him into another heated kiss.
Craig gladly kisses him back as his hands work between them. Clyde isn’t sure where he got lube from, but he gasps when the cold hits his cock.
“Sorry,” Craig whispers, pulling Clyde back into their kiss. He further apologizes by wrapping a hand around both their cocks and stroking them together.
Clyde moans and thrusts into Craig’s hand. He had forgotten what it was like to be the one being taken care of, instead of doing all the work himself. It’s nice, and he’s quickly losing himself.
“It’s going to be cold again,” Craig warns. He opens his eyes to watch as Clyde gasps again, cold wet fingers pressed against his ass. He picked a good one, he thinks, as his eyes roam over Clyde’s red face and kiss swollen lips. What a cute boy.
He watches Clyde bite his lip to hold in a moan as his fingers push inside, two at first. He had thought he’d need to do a lot of stretching first, but Clyde doesn’t seem to be in a lot of pain. A natural bottom. Perfect.
He goes back to kissing Clyde’s neck again while he works him open. He strokes them both slowly while his two fingers do the same inside, searching for that spot.
Clyde suddenly whines and squirms in his lap. “Fuck,
fuck
,
right there
,” he lets out, all in one breathy moan.
“I think you’re ready…” Craig says. “You’re pretty when you’re begging.” He strokes a thumb over Clyde’s cheek and kisses him thoroughly before reaching for the condom in the side table.
He rolls it on and presses the tip to Clyde’s ass, just to watch his face twist with need. Before he can push in, though, Clyde is forcing himself down. His fingers dig into Craig’s clothed back, and Craig is positive he’d be getting clawed up if he didn't have a shirt on.
“
Fuckkk…
” Clyde breathes, now fully seated on Craig’s cock. The guy isn’t huge or anything, but bigger than Clyde expected, and definitely bigger than he’s used to, which is
nothing
.
But it still feels so good and he’s physically
aching
for more. He starts to move, clinging to Craig as he rides him.
At this point, Craig just sits back with his hands on Clyde’s hips and lets Clyde take the ride. He’s surprised the nervous guy he just met has this in him, but he’s not complaining.Clyde drops his head to Craig’s shoulder, weak with the effort it takes to keep moving on top of the pleasure ripping through him.
Craig takes the initiative to flip Clyde on his back and pick the lead back up. He pushes Clyde’s thighs back and thrusts deeper than Clyde was able to reach before. It’s enough to break him, and Clyde’s orgasm hits him in shaking spurts.
Craig follows not long after. They sit there, trying to catch their breath for a few moments, before Clyde says a quiet, “Sorry…”
Craig laughs and asks, “For what? That was fun.”
Clyde points and Craig looks down. There’s cum on his shirt. He shrugs though and just takes it off. He wipes the mess off Clyde with it and throws it on the floor. “All gone,” he says, “It was still fun.”
“Yeah,” Clyde agrees. He’s tired now, he’s always tired after an orgasm. He sits up anyway and backs up a bit, taking personal space from Craig.
“What is this, you don’t want to cuddle?” Craig asks, with a pout that’s exaggerated enough that Clyde can’t tell if he’s being serious or not.
“Actually… not to be that guy that hits and runs but…” Clyde starts, but he’s starting to feel bad about it.
“It’s all good,” Craig says. He doesn’t sound that upset about it. He hands Clyde his clothes with a grin. “You go home. I’ll call you.”
Clyde bites his lip.
There’s not supposed to be a next time
. “Sure, man, I’ll be around,” he says instead. “You have my number.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
**
Present
.
**
Clyde spends longer than he probably should in the shower. He’s never showered at Craig’s apartment before. He’s never done a lot of things with Craig before that he’s apparently doing now. He’s got a lot to think about…
Like does he really want to meet Craig’s friends? If he does, doesn’t that mean they’re… a
thing
? And Craig has been acting pretty weird lately, too, saying weird things like
I missed you
and
maybe next year you’ll be mine
.
He should talk to Craig about all that…
But maybe now isn’t the best time. He doesn’t want to cause a scene when people are coming over if it ends up being a whole thing.
But what if Craig won’t want to see him anymore? Is Clyde really okay with that?
It’s what he wanted from the beginning… He wanted it to fail.
So why does his heart ache?
He checks his phone when he gets out of the shower. He still gets to see her -- his ex girlfriend -- on social media. She hasn’t blocked him or anything, but she still won’t text him back. She seems just fine without him.
He throws his phone back on Craig’s bed and leaves it there. He pulls on his clothes from the day before and heads out to grab some cereal.
He pours it himself and sits at the small dining table. He leans his head in his hand and picks at it without really eating.
“You alright?” Craig asks. He sits down across from Clyde, with a concerned look on his face.
“Yeah, why?” Clyde asks, but he doesn’t look up because he knows he looks miserable.
“You know, the only thing I can assume in this situation, if you won’t tell me what’s wrong, is that it was me. Did I do something?” Craig asks. Always straightforward and honest.
Clyde sighs and sets his spoon down. “No, dude, it’s not you. It’s just me. I have a lot going on, and I’m just… bummed, I guess.”
“I’d offer you another blowjob but apparently that didn’t cheer you up the first time.”Clyde doesn’t have time to respond, because that’s when the door knocks. Craig gives him a look that he can’t decipher before getting up to answer it.
Apparently Clyde is staying to meet his friends.
Craig greets each person with some variation of a fist bump or handshake, until the last guy.
He fucking kisses him.
It’s casual, quick, just a peck, really, and the other guy technically kissed Craig, but it makes Clyde
furious
. What the hell was that? After Craig said Clyde was the only one he was seeing? What a liar!
He narrows his eyes at the blond as he comes in and flops down on the couch. There are about six other people, but Clyde doesn’t even care about them.
“Who’s he?” someone asks, and Clyde suddenly realizes he’s being stared at by everyone. They all saw him glaring at the blond. Whoops.
“He’s Clyde. He decided to chill with us today,” Craig says. He pats Clyde’s shoulder as he passes to go back in the kitchen.Various people greet him, and he wipes the sour look off his face to say hello. He definitely doesn’t have an appetite anymore, though.
He gets up to follow Craig in the kitchen and throw his food away, but he’s thrown through another loop when he sees Craig sorting through bags of what is obviously weed.
“Are you a dealer!?” he asks, before his brain can tell him to stop. How much does he really not know about Craig?
Craig shrugs. “Only on the side. More like a connection for my friends and not really anyone else.”Clyde just stares at the baggies on the counter until Craig collects them and takes them away. He is processing way too much information at the same time right now.
The important information: who the fuck is the blond and why was Craig okay with being kissed?
He steps back out to see Craig distribute the bags, collect the money, and sit down. Next to
the blond
.
Maybe it’s petty, but Clyde is not fucking having it. He takes a seat directly in Craig’s lap, and that’s that.
“Oh, he’s
that
kind of friend,” someone says, with a laugh. “Now I get it.”
“Relax, jesus christ,” Craig says. Despite what he says, he holds his arms around Clyde’s waist and rests his chin on Clyde’s shoulder. “He’s just here for a good time, like the rest of you free loading assholes.”
At least Craig doesn’t seem to notice anything is wrong. Or he’s good at pretending.
“Anyway, Clyde,” Craig points, “That’s Red. Token. Kyle. Stan. Jenny. Chris. Kenny.”
It’s Kenny, then, is it? The bastard just waves and gives a knowing smirk when Clyde looks his way. No fucking way.
Craig pulls a tray into Clyde’s lap, so he looks down to watch Craig spin a grinder and start to wrap a joint. Oh… They’re smoking
now
. That’s fine.
Clyde has only smoked weed a handful of times in his life, and he wasn’t prepared to be doing it today. What if he can’t control his mouth when he’s high?
Would it be rude to say no? If it were only the two of them, he’d be fine, but with all these other people around… and
Kenny
.
Craig finishes up and lights it. He takes his hit over Clyde’s shoulder, then offers it to Clyde. He stares at it for a second, and he almost says no, but then he realizes that Kenny is going to do it. Now he has to.
He takes it and inhales too fast, ends up coughing up a lung. A few people laugh, and he knows he’s red now. This
sucks
.
“Damn, babe, slow down,” Craig says. He rubs soothing circles on Clyde’s back. Maybe it doesn’t suck that much. It fills him with satisfaction to see Kenny roll his eyes.
The joint makes its rounds until it’s gone. They talk and Clyde gets to know a few of them. He’s a lot higher than he should be for only hitting it twice, but it’s actually nice to let it fill him up and relax him. He’s cozy and content wrapped up in Craig’s arms. He even manages to keep his mouth shut for a while.Things wind down a little and they decide to watch a movie. They shut the lights off and it’s quiet for a while, until someone decides to pass around another blunt. This one’s in a fruity wrap and it makes the room smell good. Makes Clyde feel good.So good that just playing with Craig’s hands in his lap is enough to make him happy. The hurt and drama from the morning is long forgotten. All except one thing.
He turns his head and reaches a hand up to touch Craig’s hair. It’s clean and soft between his fingers and it makes him hum. “Erase his,” he whispers, so quiet that Craig almost doesn’t hear him.
“Erase what?” Craig asks.
“Only my kisses, you told me so…” Clyde says. He pets Craig’s hair and pulls him into a kiss. It’s firm and tender, and followed by another, and another one. He hums again, smiling into it, perfectly happy to be here, kissing Craig like this.
His happiness screams to a halt when he hears, “Why don’t you two get a room?”
Clyde turns to see that it was Kenny, of all people. “Why, are you jealous?” he bites out.
“Yeah, a little,” Kenny says, crossing his arms. He doesn’t look angry, though. Maybe it’s amused? Clyde can’t think straight enough to figure it out. “He hasn’t kissed me like that in weeks.”
“That’s too bad,” Clyde says, giving a fake pout. “He kisses me like that aaaaaall the time.” He kisses Craig again, just to throw it in Kenny’s face. Apparently Clyde is much bolder than usual when he’s high.
“And when everyone leaves…” Clyde adds, quieter now, just to Craig, “He promised I could do whatever I want to him.” His hand moves down Craig’s chest, stopping just at the waistline of Craig’s jeans. “I can’t wait.”
Clyde is almost never this handsy or affectionate, and it’s throwing Craig off a little bit. He doesn’t hate it, he actually likes it, but it’s very new. “You’re going to
have
to wait, baby boy, the movie’s not even over yet.”
Clyde groans and slumps down in Craig’s lap with a huff, like a child. “Fine,” he mutters, closing his eyes. “Then I’m taking a nap.”
Clyde wakes up in a bit of a fog. The lights are still on. Everyone is gone. Craig is gone.
He sits up and rubs his eyes, trying to get rid of the haze. He still feels a little bit light and tingly, but much more down to earth. The day runs through his mind, and he can’t fucking believe himself when he remembers the things he said to Kenny. He was behaving like an insecure, jealous lover, and it makes him groan and bury his face in the back of the couch.
Stupid, so stupid. Embarrassing. Why is he like this?
“You’re awake,” Craig says, seemingly from nowhere. Clyde looks up at him, and his stomach growls loudly when the smell from the kitchen hits his nose. “There’s some chinese food left if you’re hungry. You really passed out for a while.”
“Sorry, yeah… I haven’t really smoked in a while, I’m not used to it…” Clyde shuts his mouth before he can start to ramble.
“It’s fine, you’re cute when you’re asleep. Less bratty mouth to deal with.” Craig grins and takes a seat at the table.
Clyde flips Craig off and gets up to find the food. He makes himself a huge plate and sits across from Craig at the table.“So you’re pretty affectionate when you’re high, aren't you?” Craig asks, that stupid grin still on his face.“Ugh, shut up,” Clyde groans. “It’s not my fault that--” he stops, because he was about to say something about Kenny, but he should absolutely not bring that up. “That… you decided to get me high and let me sit in your lap. What did you think would happen?”
Craig just shrugs and picks at his food. “It was nice. I’m not complaining.”
“No, I was all over you, why would you complain?” Clyde says, and he thinks
but you’re used to that, aren’t you? Does Kenny smother you too?
He shakes the thought. Maybe there’s a casual way to bring it up. It’s going to keep bothering him if he doesn’t.
“So, uh… Your friends are nice. The blond one seemed particularly fond of you.” He sounds bitter, goddamnit,
don’t be bitter
.
Craig just rolls his eyes though. “Don’t mind him, I know he was being a prick. He’s my best friend, but he can be the worst sometimes.”“Best friend?” Clyde repeats. There’s more he wants to say, but it’s best to leave it at that. Clyde’s best friend was his girlfriend, so he doesn’t even have that anymore. Maybe it’s time to change the subject. “There’s so much I don’t know about you. We see each other almost every day, and I didn’t even know you were a dealer.”
“I’m not a dealer,” Craig says, “Don’t make it sound like I’m dishing out heroin. It’s just weed and uppers for my friends.”
“Okay,” Clyde conceids. “That’s fair, I guess. I don’t know a lot about drugs.”“What about you? I know you go to school and you have a job, but what for?” Craig asks. “I don’t know a lot about you either.”
“Oh, uh… I work at a call center. It’s really boring. I go to school for business.” Clyde rubs the back of his neck, suddenly feeling awkward. It was so easy to say there were no strings attached when they didn’t know each other. But now he’s sleeping in Craig’s apartment, meeting his friends, and talking about his life. It somehow makes it more… real.
“Well,” Craig says, standing to take their empty plates. “I don’t know what I expected, but it wasn’t business. Good for you. I didn’t go to college.”Clyde is starting to feel like it’s time to go home for the night. The day has been a roller coaster of ups and downs, and he should get out of there before he hits another down.Before he can stand up to leave, though, Craig is pulling his chair out and straddling his lap. Their lips are close, and Craig’s hands are in his hair. “Why don’t we skip the talking and move onto you taking advantage of me.”
Clyde’s eyes go wide, and for a second, he can’t come up with anything to say. “Do you… mean you want to bottom?” he asks. He’s forgotten about their deal.
Craig shrugs and drops his hands from Clyde’s hair to behind his neck. He sits back and looks down at Clyde. “I’m not that into bottoming, but I’ll do it if that’s what you want. You never told me what you wanted. Now’s your time to shine.”
Clyde sucks in a breath. His bravery is lost. When he made that deal, he was just flustered by Craig’s gift. When he was high… well. He had a lot more to say. But now, with Craig ready and willing in his lap, he’s at a loss.
It just
gets to him
the way that Craig can so easily make him feel so small, so desperate, so worked up. He just wanted to turn the tables for once and show Craig what it’s like to be tortured. But how is he supposed to say that?
“Nothing?” Craig says, a look of disappointment on his face. “You don’t want anything?”“I do,” Clyde manages to say. “Just give me a second… It’s not as easy for me as it is for you.”
“Do you want another hit? It seemed to be pretty easy for you earlier, even when we had an audience.”
Clyde hadn’t even thought of that. Maybe it would be easier that way. “Sure…” he says, slowly. It’s pretty lame of him to need a safety net to talk about sex with the guy he’s been fucking for three months, but here he is.
“Don’t look so down about it. I just want you to be comfortable,” Craig says. He gives Clyde a kiss before standing to roll a new joint.
When he comes back, it’s already lit, and he sits right back down in Clyde’s lap. “We can share,” he says, smiling around the paper as he takes his hit. He holds it in, and kisses Clyde again. He licks his way into Clyde’s mouth, and slowly lets the smoke out between them.
It makes Clyde dizzy with need. Why is
everything
Craig does so hot? Craig could probably trip and faceplant on the sidewalk and Clyde would cream his pants.
Craig holds the joint up to Clyde’s lips, so Clyde takes the next hit. They shotgun again, but this time the kiss lasts a lot longer. They’re both breathless by the end of it, and goddamn, who knew hands-free making out could make Clyde hard?
His eyes are glossed over with lust and smoke when he opens them to look at Craig. “Lets go to bed,” he says, and look at him, already braver than before.
Craig ashes the joint on the table and takes Clyde by the hand. They run back to the room like they’re kids again, stumbling over their feet, instead of in their mid-twenties.
Clyde undresses Craig, pulling his shirt off and backing him down onto the bed. He tugs his jeans and underwear away, leaving Craig naked on the bed while Clyde undresses himself.
Craig watches with heavy eyes while Clyde crawls on top of him, warm bodies pressed together, Clyde’s lips against his ear. “I want
you
to cry this time,” he says, and it makes Craig shiver as Clyde kisses down his neck.
“Good luck,” Craig says, trying to be arrogant, but he’s cut short by a gasp when Clyde bites him. His fingers curl tightly in Clyde’s hair, but Clyde isn’t having that.“No touching,” Clyde says. He pulls out of Craig’s grip and takes his hands, wrapping them around the headboard. “I want you to sit your ass back and take it. Keep your hands up there.”Craig grips the headboard and breathes an, “Okay…” It’s not going to be easy to keep his hands to himself, but he’d do just about anything to see more of this side of Clyde.
It’s different, having Craig in his hands instead of his ex. It was easy to let Craig take the reins and call it a day, but now… He’s actually here. Doing what he used to do with her, except now it’s with Craig.
Well, he never told her to keep her hands to herself. He just wants to watch Craig squirm.
He kisses down Craig’s chest, rolling his tongue over hard nubs. It makes Craig hiss and arch into him, and Clyde is living for it.
“It’s your turn to suffer…” Clyde says. He reaches for the night stand, where he knows there’s lube. He spreads some over his own cock, working it until it’s warm with a few strokes. He spreads it further down, along the cleft of his ass, and then sits.
He lines himself up with Craig’s hard, red cock, and starts to slowly grind against him. He slides, back and forth, the length of his ass hugging Craig’s cock with no promise of penetration.
He keeps at his slow pace, Craig pressed snug between his cheeks with every slide. Craig’s head rolls back with a groan. His fingers squeeze the headboard hard enough to hear it creak.
“All this time…” Craig pants, “You just wanted to give me a lap dance?”
“I guess,” Clyde says. “It’s working though. Look at you.” Clyde strokes Craig’s cheek fondly, watching him struggle to keep his hands up while Clyde grinds on him.Clyde sits up with his hands propped on Craig’s sides. The grind is still slow, but the slide over Clyde’s sensitive hole is enough for him. He wraps a hand around his own slick dick and starts to stroke in time.
Craig watches Clyde get off on him, literally, using him for his own gain and nothing else. He wishes he could be the one with his hands wrapped around that cock. He wishes he could be
inside
, be the one driving Clyde over the edge. But he’s forced to just lay there and watch.
“Damn, baby, what did I ever do to deserve this?” Craig asks, his whole body strained with the effort not to thrust up. “Haven’t I treated you right?”
“Unfortunately,” Clyde bites out. It’s not malicious, but it’s something not quite pleased. “You got me to come back. And I kept coming back for more. You’re the worst thing that could have happened to me.”
Clyde reached back, to press Craig’s head tighter to his hole. It
just about
pushes in, before sliding past again. They both moan for the loss. “How dare you be more than a one night stand?” Clyde asks again. This time, with the help of Clyde’s hand, Craig’s cock slips inside.
Clyde shudders as he takes it all in. He stops once he’s fully seated, goes back to his slow grind. It rubs all the right spots inside him and he trembles. “Fuck,” he curses, shaking his head, his hands clenched against Craig’s chest. “Are you going to touch me or not?”
Craig doesn’t have to be told twice. His arms immediately wrap around Clyde, pulling him into a heated kiss. There’s so much more feeling in this one than all the others. It sears to the touch, and for a moment, nothing matters except pulling closer and kissing harder. Clyde’s hips even stop moving, as every good and bad feeling pours out between their lips.Clyde finally rips away to lean back on his arms. He rocks his hips and looks Craig dead in the eye. “Make me cum,” he demands.Craig, short on breath, and honestly weak with desire, settles his hands on Clyde’s hips and thrusts up into him. Clyde’s head drops back on a moan, and they don’t stop.
It’s hard and fast and desperate, until Craig is spilling inside him. The shock of actually
feeling
it fill him up sends Clyde over the edge as well.
Clyde pulls off, his whole body shaking as he drops onto all fours beside Craig. He can feel Craig’s cum seeping from his hole. “Jesus Christ, dude, we forgot a condom,” he says. Of all the things to say at this point, that shouldn’t be it, but it is.
Craig leans up on an elbow to look at Clyde. “I didn’t want it to happen like that, but I’ve been dying to fill you up,” he says. He bites his lip with a grin and asks, “Can I look?”
“Ugh,” Clyde complains. “You are literally the grossest.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Clyde flops heavily on his bed when he finally gets home. He feels like he’s been gone a week, but it’s only been one night. It feels good to be home… but it’s also a little but lonely. Maybe he should get a dog or something.
He tries to check his phone, but it’s dead, so he plugs it in and leaves it to go find something to eat.
He sits alone at his dining table with a bowl of ramen noodles. It’s quiet and it’s making him antsy. It gives him too much room to think about his life. To think about Craig. Maybe he should veg out in bed instead and watch Netflix and eat snacks. Good idea.
He puts his half empty bowl in the sink and heads back to his room. He picks up his phone to see if it’s on yet, and it is, and--
Her name is splashed across the screen. She sent him a text message.
She responded.
He scrambles to unlock it and read what it says.
His heart sinks, drops through the bottom of his stomach, makes him sick.
It’s a picture from Craig’s. Clyde curled up in Craig’s lap with his arms around him, his face buried in Craig’s neck. It would be a cute picture if it weren’t so
horrifying.
After staring at it for longer than necessary, his mind and body laced with shock, he finally reads the message underneath the photo.
Bae <3 8:56
You seem happy.
Jesus Christ, that was almost three hours ago! Who would send her that picture?? Why would they? What the fuck is he supposed to say??
Clyde 11:49
its not what it looks like…
Bae <3 11:50
Then what is it? It looks like you’re happily cuddling with a boy.
Clyde 11:50
well… i was. i guess.
but im not with him, its nothing
She doesn’t respond fast enough, so Clyde panics and keeps going.
Clyde 11:51
i swear, we were high and just having a good time
it was fun but it wasnt serious
we arent serious
im trying to prove a point by not dating him
Bae <3 11:52
You’re saying that like you see him a lot. Just because you aren’t “boyfriends” doesn’t mean it’s not serious.
I’m not trying to attack you, Clyde, I’m not mad. I only ever wanted you to be happy.
Clyde 11:52
you make me happy
Bae <3 11:52
I know, sweetie.
Clyde wipes his eyes. Hot, frustrated tears burn down his cheeks. He feels like he’s being ripped apart.
Clyde 11:53
then why cant we be together?
Bae <3 11:54
You know why.
I know you love me. And I love you, too. But there’s always been something off about it.
I know you feel it too.
Clyde 11:54
i still dont know what the fuck that means
Bae <3 11:54
There’s more than one way to love someone. What we have isn’t romantic. We thought it was, but it’s not. It doesn’t feel right.
I still want to be your friend. But I want you to be in a better place first.
I miss you.
Clyde 11:55
can we get lunch tomorrow?
i want to see you so badly
Bae <3 11:55
I don’t think that’s a good idea, hun. I don’t want to make it worse for you.
Why don’t you call that boy and ask him out?
Clyde lets out a frustrated noise and drops his phone on the floor. He covers his face with his hands, trying to pull himself together, but he can’t stop crying.
She texts him again after midnight to tell him good night and good luck, but he doesn’t see it.
Days go by, and Clyde doesn’t answer his phone. He goes to work, but he doesn’t talk to anyone. He spends his time at home in bed, staring through the dark. He feels numb. He feels tired. He feels like nothing is worth it anymore. Why should he do anything but lie in bed and waste away?
Craig texts him every day, asking if he wants to come over. Clyde doesn’t answer him. He can’t think about Craig, Craig ruined everything. He let Craig become something he never should have been, and Clyde never wants to see him again.
Except that’s not really true. Something behind all the numbness and depression misses Craig and wants to go take comfort in his arms. His warm hugs and kisses and soft voice. Clyde doesn’t deserve him.
Clyde doesn’t deserve him.
Clyde doesn’t deserve him.
His phone buzzes again. He doesn’t look at first, but eventually pulls it up.
Craig 7:30
i dont know what happened or why you wont talk to me, but ill try one more time
the guys are coming over for a new years eve party, and you can come if you want
if you dont come, i guess i wont text you again
New years eve? How long has Clyde been in bed? He checks his calendar to find that five days have already gone by.
Today
is new years eve.
Clyde is in absolutely no shape to be going anywhere. He hasn’t showered or even brushed his hair in days -- five days, apparently.
He reads Craig’s text again, and a few more times, and the longer he looks at it, the more guilty he feels. He at least owes Craig an explanation or a goodbye. He didn’t deserve to just be cut off. He didn’t actually do anything wrong, Clyde is just a dumbass. He should go and apologize, if nothing else.
But that means he has to actually get out if bed.
He lays there for a while longer. It takes him until his stomach starts to grumble before he finally gets up. He takes a long shower, and takes his time getting ready. He’s nervous, which makes him slower than he should be.
It’s 10:30 by the time he makes it out to his car. He tries to stop at the grocery store, but they’re closed, so he ends up at a gas station. All they have left is overpriced vodka, but he buys it anyway. He feels like he needs to bring something to be valid enough to be there.
When he gets there, he walks up to Craig’s door, but he can’t bring himself to knock. He stands there long enough to get tired and sit down.
He sits against the wall, staring at Craig’s door. He might as well crack the bottle while he sits there.
He opens it and drains a few gulps. It immediately goes to his head, making his thoughts swim. The door wobbles in front of him. He takes another drink.
He’s not sure how much time has passed when someone opens the door. He raises a brow at them, and they do the same. He thinks her name was Red?
“Uh, Craig?” she calls back into the apartment. “Your friends is out here on the floor.” She steps past him, still giving him a weird look, and heads outside.
Craig appears in the doorway, and Clyde can’t help the grin that spreads across his face.“Clyde?” Craig asks. “How long have you been sitting out here?”
“Only a few mins,” Clyde lies, his words feeling thick in his mouth. Maybe he had a few too many drinks.
“Are you drunk?” Craig asks, frowning. He picks Clyde up by the shoulders and pulls him inside. He takes the bottle from Clyde and puts it on the table. “What the hell, dude?”
“I missed your voice,” Clyde says. He sinks against Craig’s chest, holding onto him dearly, probably too tightly. “I’m sorry…”“Oookkay,” Craig starts, patting Clyde on the back, but not returning the embrace. “Maybe you should take a seat. I’ll get you some pretzels.”Clyde shakes his head, pushing away with a hand on Craig’s chest. “Not hungry,” he says. He gives Craig a sloppy kiss, and then goes to flop down on the couch. He doesn’t feel guilty anymore, he just feels drunk.He talks with Craig’s friends for a while, not really following the conversations, but happy to be there. This is exactly what he needed; socialization, not laying in bed alone.
He looks up to see Craig still in the kitchen doorway, holding a red cup, talking, a frown on his face. He can’t hear what he’s saying, but he doesn’t like the look on his face.
He gets up, trips just a little, and makes his way over. “Why do you look so sad? It’s new years! You should be happy!” His smile slowly drops though, when he turns and sees the person Craig had been talking to is Kenny. “Am I interrupting something?” he asks, narrowing his eyes.
Kenny just shakes his head. “You two should talk,” he says. He pats Clyde’s shoulder and whispers a, “Don’t fuck it up,” on his way out.
Clyde watches him go, obviously confused. Craig pulls him further into the kitchen and puts a glass of water in his hands. “Drink that,” he says. He leans on the counter with his arms crossed, and Clyde feels like he can’t say no, so he starts to drink. “Where have you been?” Craig asks, “And why did you think it was a good idea to show up here piss drunk?”
“I wasn’t drunk when I got here…” Clyde says, which is true. “I was scared,” he adds, which… is also true.
“Scared of what?” Craig asks.
“You. Me.” Clyde makes a vague gesture between the two of them. “I don’t know what I’m doing. I think I like you, but I’m still…”
“You’re still what?” Craig pushes. He’s still not impressed.
“It’s a long story,” Clyde says, shaking his head and waving a hand. “My girlfriend--”
“Your
girlfriend
?” Craig repeats. His shoulders go stiff and Clyde shrinks back. He’s never seen Craig mad before.
“She’s not technically my girlfriend… anymore…” The water and the anxiety are pushing the effects of the alcohol down, and Clyde is not enjoying being a part of this conversation. Is it too late to go back to bed?
“I’m listening,” Craig says, and god the look on his face makes Clyde’s heart ache. He wants to cry again.
“We broke up before I started seeing you. But I still love her… I didn’t think I’d see you more than once, but…” Clyde looks away, but Craig doesn’t say anything, so he’s forced to keep going. “Um… She told me… a few days ago… that there was absolutely no chance of us ever getting back together…”
“And you’re here to pick me up on the rebound?” Craig says.
“No! I only came to say I was sorry…” Clyde bites his lip, trying so hard not to cry now. He really fucked it up, he lost them both, this is the
worst
. “I do like you, Craig, but it took me too long to see it. I was hung up on my feelings and I fucked it up. I’m sorry.”
Craig still doesn’t say anything. Several silent, painful minutes pass between them.
“Is that why you never wanted to go out with me?” Craig finally asks.
Clyde blinks away the burn in his eyes and looks at Craig now. “...Uh… yeah…”
“Is that everything? You’re not hiding anything else?”
“No… That’s it.” Clyde says. He hugs himself, feeling cold and vulnerable and alone under Craig’s eyes.
“I’m not happy. Obviously.” Clyde winces. “But I still like your stupid ass. If you promise to be honest with me from now on, we can keep doing this.”“What?” Clyde asks. Is he still wasted?
“I said I still want to see you. You’re an idiot and I’m mad, but I don’t want to let you go.”
Clyde is confused, but this is a good thing, right?“On one condition,” Craig says.
“What is it…?” Clyde asks. He wipes his eyes, his tears slowing to a stop.
“I don’t want to just be fuck buddies anymore. I want you to take me on a date. A real one.”
“A date?” Clyde repeats. “I’ve never been on a date with a guy.”
“Don’t worry, I’ll be gentle,” Craig says. He’s grinning now, offering Clyde a hand. It’s so warm and familiar, and Clyde feels like he’s in a daze when he takes it. “We’ll talk more later. For now, let’s go watch the ball drop.”
Clyde just nods dumbly, and Craig pulls him into a kiss. It’s so soft and easy and
right
and it fills Clyde’s stomach with all new butterflies.
They head back out to the living room and sit together to watch the last few minutes until midnight. The ball drops and everyone cheers and takes shots (except Clyde, he’s had enough for one night.)A few hours later, and everyone is passed out across the two couches, curled up on the floor with pillows and blankets. Clyde is on the verge of sleep himself, until Craig moves beneath him.
“Hey, let’s go to bed,” Craig whispers. Clyde just nods and lets Craig drag him up. They slide into bed, under the covers, and Clyde sighs with his body pressed against Craig’s.
“I like sleeping with you…” Clyde says, nuzzling into Craig’s collarbone. “I’m glad you didn’t tell me to get lost.”
“Shh…” Craig says. Now isn’t the time to talk about that. They’ve got all the time in the world to figure that out now. “Don’t talk. Just kiss.”
Clyde can’t argue with that. His eyes fall shut as he’s drawn into kiss after sweet kiss. He feels like he’s being swallowed whole when Craig rolls on top of him, completely enveloped by the weight and warmth of the man above him.
It’s nice. He can admit now that he loves it, and he doesn’t want to leave Craig. He wants to stay here, with Craig’s sweet tongue in his mouth, his hands moving up his shirt, oh--
Clyde whines with Craig’s hands on his body, fingers touching all his most sensitive parts. He loves that Craig knows exactly where they all are.He feels for Craig’s zipper between them, works his hands insides to find Craig hard in his boxers. He pulls his cock out and strokes slowly, to match their slow, deep kisses.Craig sit up to push the blankets off. The cold air sends a chill up Clyde’s spine, but that doesn’t bother him. The only thing on his mind is the way Craig looks when he’s taking his clothes off. The street light coming through the window hits him just right, and Clyde’s heart races.How much of an idiot did he have to be to not know he had fucking feelings until now? Absolute moron. The fucking worst.And Craig forgave him and let him stay.
He’s so lucky.
He sits up because he
can’t wait
to kiss Craig again. He kicks his own pants off and pulls Craig back down to the mattress. Between breaths and kisses, he says, “I want you to cum in me again.”
“Christ,” Craig hisses, his cock throbbing where it sits between Clyde’s thighs. “I was going for soft and romantic, and you had to go and make it kinky again.”“Sorry…” Clyde says, smiling, their foreheads pressed together. “Romantically cum inside me, please.”“And you say I’m the worst,” Craig says. He shakes his head and grabs the lube. He squeezes some over himself and tosses it aside. Clyde pulls him into another kiss while he works it over himself and lines up between Clyde’s legs.
Clyde digs his nails into Craig’s shoulders as he’s pushed into, biting his own lip through the stretch. Three months later, and it’s
still good
.
Craig kisses up and down Clyde’s neck as he starts to move, leaving small love bites as he goes. The way Clyde’s fingers clench in his hair, and the quiet moans in his ear, mean he should probably pick up the pace.He sits up just enough to spread Clyde’s thighs with his hands and hit deeper with his thrusts.
Clyde bites his fingers to ground himself and tries not to let the whole apartment know they’re fucking. It’s hard to stay quiet though, with Craig looking at him
like that
.
“I missed you…” fills the air, but this time it’s Clyde that says it. He really doesn’t know what he’d do without Craig in his life, and it’s making him feel too much.“I missed you too, baby... Don’t leave me again.” Craig pets a hand through Clyde’s hair and kisses him one more time.
Clyde Soaks it in, his body trembling as it overloads with his orgasm. He cries out and clings to Craig, rocking into each thrust as he rides though it. He can feel himself being filled again and it sends a shiver up his spine.
Craig kisses his forehead, his eyes, his cheek, down his neck, and back up to his lips, smothering him with affection as they come down.
They hold each other close as sleep washes over them, and they finally pass out.