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It wasn't that Becker was stupid, because he wasn't, not really.
He was thoughtless, and often accused of being insensitive, which wasn't fair when he was a soldier and had spent years having all the sensitivity trained out of him. So, when he was on the other side of an anomaly (just for a few minutes because really who wanted to be trapped in one of those things and why was it always him that had to go through anyway?) whilst they returned one of Abby's creatures back to its own time, and he saw a flower then what was wrong with picking it? Really?
There was, in fact, a list of reasons:
1. When Matt saw it, he rolled his eyes, called Becker a big soppy girl (and this was a bit rich coming from someone whose entire office was overrun with plants and flowers) and then proceeded to mock him all the way back to the ARC, accompanied by several of Becker's men (all of whom would be taking up the most unpleasant duties he could find for them over the coming weeks).
2. When Abby saw it she started making concerned noises about contamination and "Really, Becker, you should know better after all this time. What if it's something like that fungus spore plant?"
3. When Connor heard what Abby said he moved into one of the other vehicles for the home journey.
Actually, 3 might be quite a good thing, Becker considered.
4. When he finally handed it over to Jess it looked a little the worse for wear, wasn't as blue as he remembered it being, and the pollen from it made her sneeze.
Still, the smile she was giving him probably meant he was going to get laid later and that was the main object of the exercise. Though to be fair chocolate usually had the same effect.
And then there was reason 5. But reason 5 didn't become apparent for nearly an hour.
---
First it was the coffee cup. It had been in the ARC for a while and was probably about to break anyway. But it was strange that it did so just as Jess picked it up, and that it fell apart in her hands. Luckily the coffee inside couldn't have been that hot as there was no scalding to worry about, though it did go right down Jess's dress. The young field coordinator had to borrow one of the spare security uniforms. It wasn't red or blue or pink and Jess wasn't too pleased at having to wear it, especially as she'd been arguing with Connor at the time over the settings on one of the ARC monitors, and thought it might well all be his fault. Also one of the fastenings on the new outfit broke whilst she was doing it up.
Lester regarded her with mild amusement when she stalked into his office, the uniform not really going with the four inch pink strappy sandals she was wearing.
"Don't say a word," she warned crossly, and put the file down on his desk.
The desk shook as though it had been struck by a great impact. Jess and Lester both stared at it. Lester looked under the desk just in case there had been a creature incursion or something, because it wouldn't be as if it were the first time that had happened. There was nothing there.
"Perhaps it's just a bit wobbly?" Jess suggested. She started to lean on it, as if trying to judge where it was sitting unevenly. "Perhaps one of the legs..."
The corner of the desk snapped off in her hand. One moment it was a solid antique burnished walnut status symbol, the next it was... well, broken.
Jess stared at the piece of desk in her hand. "Oh."
Lester frowned. Woodworm. The desk was over a hundred years old. It had to be woodworm.
---
It wasn't woodworm.
Lester had got Matt to look it over, because Matt was fond of anything to do with plants and the desk was a tree, once. It seemed logical. Also Becker would probably have tried to shoot the woodworm or something and further damage his prized desk, whilst Abby would probably have declared them an endangered species and put his desk in the menagerie, and Emily would probably just sit there admiring how very modern the desk was. He didn't even consider Connor because... well, Lester didn't think that was even worthy of explaining.
So, Matt it was.
Futureman, as Lester had secretly named his team leader since the revelation about his bizarre origins had been revealed, peered at the broken desk for quite a while. Lester thought that at one stage he even saw the beginnings of a frown, but perhaps not.
"It's not woodworm," Matt told him. "It's been broken off."
"By Jess?"
Matt regarded the desk for a moment, then nodded. "Yeah. By Jess. And whatever creatures you've had in here over the years attacking you and destroying your office."
Lester narrowed his eyes. That would be going on Matt's performance review, because only Lester did sarcasm (although, if he were honest, he usually let Jess get away with it as well).
"Thank you, Mr Anderson. That will be all."
Futureman looked at the desk again, then wandered off.
It was hardly the end of the world (Matt would probably have spent longer examining it if it was). Lester could always get another desk and charge it to expenses. In fact, as she'd broken it, Jess could do it. He looked out of his window down into the Hub. She was just sitting there, talking to Becker, which probably meant there was no work going on at all.
"Jess, could you pop up here for a moment. If you're not too busy," he called.
Jess looked up at him and he could see the annoyance in her face at that comment. Then there was a loud crash, and her chair was in pieces on the floor. Jess herself had fallen over and was being helped up by a concerned Becker.
That was quite strange, Lester thought as he hurried down to check Jess was okay. Not the being helped up by Becker, who was always unfailingly polite to everyone unless he was in a grump in which case he was unfailingly snotty with everyone, but the chair breaking. That was very strange indeed. Miss Parker, it seemed, had a tendency for destruction the likes of which even Connor Temple might envy. Matt and Connor were certainly interested, they were down there picking up pieces of the chair and examining them.
"I'm fine, Becker, don't worry," Jess was saying as she brushed herself down. "I don't know what happened."
"Sub-standard furniture providers," Becker growled. He looked up as Lester approached. "We should sue."
It was a fairly new chair, perhaps only a month or two old. There was no reason at all for it to fall apart. Jess was tiny, the thing was built to hold more than double her weight and then some. Something occurred to him, and he grimaced with distaste even as he asked the question.
"Tell me you two haven't been using it for... amorous activities after hours? Please say you haven't."
Jess blushed furiously, and Becker looked distinctly embarrassed.
"Of course not," Jess snapped. "What a thing to say!" And the armrest of what was left of her chair disintegrated in her hand.
Which was, really, rather odd.
Connor handed her the other armrest. "Now try it with this one." When Jess just looked at him, he added, "Try to crush it."
It was on the tip of Lester's tongue to tell Temple not to be so ridiculous. But there had been the mug, and the desk, and the chair, and then that armrest... He waited, half-expecting to see the armrest reduced to a pile of dust. But of course it wasn't. How silly.
"Don't be so ridiculous, Connor," Becker snapped. "How could someone like Jess possibly do that?"
Jess narrowed her eyes at him. "What do you mean, someone like Jess?" And the second armrest went the way of the first. "Oh!"
Lester took a step back. Becker just stared. Connor gave a little whoop and handed Jess what looked like part of the backrest.
"Again!"
"She's not a performing seal!" Becker snapped at him.
Jess tried quite hard to break the backrest. Nothing happened.
"Oh, I hope you don't mind. Abby borrowed those blue shoes you'd left in the hall. You know, the ones with the funny red colour on the sole..."
Snap! went the backrest.
"She's The Hulk!" Connor whooped. "It's every time she gets cross! Abby didn't touch your shoes, by the way," he added quickly.
"I'm not!" Jess wailed.
"She's not green," Becker pointed out.
"That's what you get from this? I'm not green?" The remaining fragment of backrest crumbled to dust in Jess's hands. "Oh."
"Let's just try not to make her angry," Connor suggested.
"I wasn't..." Becker started.
"Don't you two have a date later?" Matt grinned.
Becker paled slightly. "Maybe we should postpone it until you're feeling better," he suggested.
There hadn't been a handprint indentation on the ADD control panel a moment before, Lester was sure of it.
---
It was the flower, apparently.
Becker stared miserably at the remnants of it in Matt's lab where Connor and Matt had been studying it. Well, Matt had been studying it. Connor had been mostly talking about comic books and green men and wondering why Jess hadn't quadrupled in size and broken all her clothes and shoes. Becker had considering hitting him at that point, but instead Jess had taken out the side of one of Matt's cabinets and Connor had shut up.
There was going to be no date that evening. And definitely no shagging. Because Jess, tiny, delicate little Jess (and he daren't say that to her face now because she'd probably destroy something) had inhaled some pollen or something from that stupid, stupid plant (why hadn't he listened to the others and not picked it? Why!) and now could probably destroy a small building with her bare hands if someone got her riled enough. He didn't even want to think about what she might do if he'd failed to satisfy her in the bedroom department. He gave an involuntary shudder just thinking about it.
"Don't worry," Matt told him brightly. "It'll wear off soon enough. Just needs to work through Jess's system. Jess, you just need to stay very, very calm."
Of course, that was when the anomaly detector alarm had to go off...
---
"I'm sure we can rebuild it," Connor assured Jess. "Maybe even better than the old one. That was looking a bit tired, I thought."
Jess stared miserably at the remnants of the ADD. She loved that station. She had all the monitors set up just the way she liked them, and all the settings just so. And now it was in pieces. All because of a minor argument with a local police official who had obviously slept through convergence and didn't seem to understand who the ARC team were or what they did. Or that they weren't living in the Dark Ages and that yes, sometimes a woman would be the person telling you what to do.
"Maybe you should go home," Lester suggested.
Jess thought of her lovely flat, and how little she would like to see it damaged.
"Maybe I could sleep in the basement here instead? Sedated," she added reluctantly.
"Good idea, you should be fine in the morning," Matt assured her.
"I'll come and check on you," Becker promised. "I'll bring breakfast." He was, she noticed, still keeping his distance.
"Thanks," she told him. "And Becker? Just don't bring me flowers..."
Because really, she'd had enough of them for a lifetime.