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“You can’t be serious.” Chanwoo’s eyes were threatening to bulge out of their sockets. He had removed the helmet of his costume so he could properly stare at their friend in disdain. As if sweating profusely from inside his ghillie suit wasn’t problematic enough already, his stupid friend felt compelled to add to his stress.“What? I don’t walk around looking like this every day, so it counts.”“Wearing your Jiu-Jitsu uniform straight from practice is definitely not a proper Halloween costume,” Donghyuk chimed in, scanning their friend from head to toe. He too had his judgmental face on, and even with the Harley Quinn-inspired makeup and costume, Donghyuk could still look menacing if he wanted to.“Look, I don’t have anything else. If you don’t want me to go to the party looking like this, then I’m just not going.” Junhoe didn’t mind, really. If he had been consulted about their social calendar for the night (which he wasn’t), he would’ve suggested a night in at his house to binge-watch crappy horror movies on Netflix over popcorn and pizza. Depending on how the night progressed, he could’ve been compelled to bring out a bottle or two of whisky from his secret stash for the three of them to enjoy. It would’ve been the best Halloween ever.But his two stupid friends had other ideas. He expected this of Donghyuk somehow, ever the social butterfly, who was already getting invites to multiple Halloween parties as early as September. Plus he loved any excuse to dress up, and when he lost a bet to his dance crew buddies and had to swear to put on the most outlandish Halloween costume they picked out for him, Junhoe knew Donghyuk wasn’t going to miss out on partying at Halloween.Chanwoo, however, was a different story. Junhoe wasn’t sure when or how or why it happened, but somehow, his friend who had once been by all accounts an oversized baby, happy to be holed up in his room playing video games all weekend, started to slowly come out of his shell, wanting to make friends and be at parties. Maybe it was all the vlogging he’s been doing. “No way are you ditching, you are definitely coming with us. We RSVP-ed for three people, and we are showing up as three people.”“It’s a high school party, Chanwoo! No one freaking RSVPs!” Junhoe exclaimed. Nearly the same in height, the two engaged in a glaring contest.“Alright, let’s settle this. Junhoe, can you at least change into a clean uniform? Wouldn’t hurt you to take a shower too while you’re at it. We’ll wait. Then we make an appearance at the party.” Donghyuk gave Chanwoo a stern look and Junhoe a little nudge towards the direction of his room. *****By the time they arrived, Jinhwan and Yunhyeong’s joint Halloween party was already in full swing. They were mostly among juniors and seniors and only a few fellow sophomores, and while Junhoe would never admit it, he did feel a little cooler, partying with the older kids.Well, partying was a bit of a reach. As soon as they arrived the three of them planned to disperse. “Whatever happens, meet at midnight at the cul de sac? I have to make curfew,” Chanwoo told them before he got dragged off by his newfound vlogger friends. In a flash and a ball change, Donghyuk was also off with his dance crew, leaving Junhoe behind. He managed to find a few of his Jiu-Jitsu buddies and hung around with them a bit by the pool, but when that got boring, he just aimlessly walked around the house. Somehow he found himself next to the speakers and the phone where the music that was being blasted throughout the party was being played from.“This is awful,” he muttered to himself, scrolling through the playlist of generic Top 40 hits. No one seemed to be paying attention to the music anyway, and he thought some solid jams would really save this party (and at least give him something to do), so he made his own.The iconic bass and beats of Another One Bites the Dust started blasting through the speakers. The crowd barely reacted, but Junhoe didn’t care. It always took a while for kids his age to get an appreciation for actual good music, having been bombarded by junk since they were born.He filled the playlist with what he thought were impeccably curated Halloween party tracks, if he may say so himself: Sympathy for the Devil by The Rolling Stones, Howl by Florence and the Machine, and of course Thriller by Michael Jackson, among many others. For the first time that night, he was genuinely having a good time, jamming to some really good songs, but it turned out he was the only one.At Jinhwan’s orders, Yunhyeong had come up to Junhoe to pry the phone away from him as politely as he could.“Jinhwan’s into more radio-friendly jams, if you get my drift,” Yunhyeong told him with a wink and his patented heartthrob smile, already scrolling to the Top 40 playlist and pressing play. It was only 10PM, and Junhoe was already feeling out of place at this damn party. Unable to find Chanwoo or Donghyuk, Junhoe was really starting to feel like a loser. I could be penning some serious rhymes right now, he thought in annoyance, and cursed his friends for forcing him to go out tonight.All of a sudden, the house erupted in screams and cheers. Despacito started blasting through the speakers.“That’s it, I’m out.” Junhoe made a run for the door, not knowing where he was going, but he didn’t care. There was no way he was partying to that. *****The cul de sac where they were supposed to meet was quiet, dimly lit from a single lamp post and a little eerie. Junhoe took a seat by the curb, pulled out his phone and opened Evernote. He had a little over an hour until Donghyuk and Chanwoo arrived, and that was plenty of time to write down some poetry.He was in the mood to write a dark, Halloween-inspired one, and he knew just the songs to get him in the mood. He scrolled through his Spotify to find the playlist he made, aptly titled “Of Unhealthy Crushes” and hit play on Melting by Kali Uchis.
You are my church
You are my place of worship
I heard you're the plug, can I be the circuit?
When he first heard this song, Junhoe imagined a plain-looking girl singing it, looking innocent in pigtails and a pink dress, but with crazy eyes and a creepy smile. Like an obsessed, crazed ex-girlfriend. Or that creepy girl in Swimfan.He got excited as the words started to flow. He was so sure he was going to make a really haunting, Halloween-inspired poem out of this mood.But just as he finished typing the first two lines, he heard a little girl voice read out loud what he’d written over his shoulder. “What the f– “ he jumped in fright and turned around to find a little girl ghost, plastic pumpkin basket in hand filled to the brim with candy, staring at him with curious eyes. Before he could blurt out the myriad of curses he had at the ready, he heard a shout.“YA! I told you to wait for me before we go to the next house!”The slightly shrill voice came from a boy about his age wearing what appeared to be a chick onesie and red Vans running towards them.“You’re too slow, Oppa! You’re no fun to trick or treat with,” Little Girl Ghost whined.The boy finally reached them, out of breath, but even in his exhaustion, he was ready to nag. “You know the deal: you go trick or treating with me or you don’t go at all. Do you think I’ll let you run around on your own at night and run into creepy weirdos?”At that point the boy finally decided to spare Junhoe a glance, scanning him from head to toe with intense eyes, much to Junhoe’s annoyance. Was everyone just going to look at him judgingly today? “Hey, she was the one being the creepy weirdo here, sneaking up on me like that,” Junhoe defended himself.“I just wanted to read what you were texting,” Little Girl Ghost claimed with a shrug, nonchalant.Chicken Boy pulled the little girl closer to him and put his arm around her protectively, but the look on his eyes had softened. “Sorry about that. My baby sister, she likes to snoop around.” He offered Junhoe a small smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.“What were you texting anyway?”“Huh?”“What were you texting, that my sister was snooping around about?”“Oh, that. This.” Junhoe looked at his phone screen. “Nothing, I wasn’t texting. I was writing.”That seemed to pique Chicken Boy’s interest. “Really? What’s it about?”“Just…I don’t know, a Halloween poem. Really stupid.” Junhoe didn’t know what possessed him to answer honestly. He had never told anyone about his poetry, not even Chanwoo and Donghyuk.He expected the boy to laugh at him, but instead he just nodded and gave him that smile again. “Cool.”“Hanbin Oppa, can we go now? I want more candy,” Little Girl Ghost whined, tugging at the sleeve of her brother’s chick onesie.“Okay, okay. Five more houses then we head home, alright?” The boy named Hanbin turned to Junhoe with a curt nod and dashed off after his sister.Well that was random, Junhoe thought. Just as he was about take a seat at the curb again, he heard a familiar voice shout his name. Chanwoo was running towards him at lightning speed, the green stuff from his ghillie suit falling off like a trail behind him.“We – need – to – go,” Chanwoo managed to blurt out in between gasps. “Donghyuk – is – being – a - loser.”“HAPPY FREAKIN’ HALLOWEEN!”As if on cue, Donghyuk’s voice shattered the silence of the empty street. He was running towards them haphazardly, another boy with him, trying to keep him from falling over.“Chanwoo, what the hell happened?”“I didn’t do nothing! His dance crew buddies made him do shots!”“Who’s that guy with him?” Junhoe had never seen anyone in this town with purple hair before.“No idea,” he said. “Come on, we need to sober him up before we can go home.”They ran toward their friend and the stranger.“Koo Junhoe! Junhoe in your clean Jiu-Jitsu uniform, standing there all alone like a loser. Loser oetori sen cheokhaneun geopjaengi - ” Donghyuk meant to sing more of the song, but he didn’t know any more of the lyrics. So he just straight up mocked his friend.“Koo Junhoe, all alone, but not lonely. Loves himself too much to care if anyone else does. You just…don’t…give…a shit.”“Geez Donghyuk, shut up!” Chanwoo intervened, standing next to him and taking his arm to hold him up in case his legs gave out given how drunk he was. The purple-haired boy was doing the same thing on his other side. Looking from his left to his right, Donghyuk's eyes momentarily brightened amidst the haze of the alcohol. “Oh I’m sorry, I’m being so rude! I forgot to introduce you. This is my new friend, The Joker. The Joker, these are my old friends, Loser and Loser.” He started cackling uncontrollably at his own lame joke. The Joker’s eyes turned into half-moons when he smiled. It wasn’t lost on Junhoe, how his purple hair was loud and his smile was bright. Too loud and too bright for near midnight in a quiet suburban cul de sac. This guy didn’t seem like he was from town.“I think this belongs to you?” They locked eyes, The Joker holding out Donghyuk’s arm for Junhoe to take so he can be the one to support his friend in the purple haired boy’s place.“Uh, yeah, thanks.” He awkwardly wrapped Donghyuk’s arm around his shoulder so he could support his drunk friend better. One thing to know about Koo Junhoe is that he very much values his personal space. So being this close to a very drunk Donghyuk, even if they had been friends for years, was not fun. Junhoe was very much not into this, his annoyance evident in his furrowed brow and pout as he tried to concentrate on supporting the weight of his drunk friend and keeping his balance. “Nice uniform. You do Jiu-Jitsu?” The Joker asked him out of the blue.“Uh, yeah.” Here was another thing Junhoe wasn’t a fan of: random, irrelevant small talk.“At the studio next to the gym?”“Yeah, that one.”“Nice. If you do it in real life, it’s not a costume, though.”“That’s what we told him!” Chanwoo suddenly exclaimed, eyes bulging out again. Donghyuk snickered in agreement.Junhoe rolled his eyes. Were they still really arguing about the validity of his Halloween costume?“Whatever. So thanks for this,” he stared right back at The Joker (he had been very intently staring at Junhoe the whole time, for some reason) and pointed at Donghyuk with his pout. “We’ll get going now.”The Joker stepped aside to let them pass. “It’s Bobby, by the way. That’s my name,” he said as Junhoe walked past him. He gave the purple haired boy one final glance, getting a view of his smiling eyes and bright hair for the last time before turning his attention to the road ahead. Chanwoo and Junhoe supported Donghyuk on either side as they walked away from the cul de sac, leaving the boy with purple hair behind.
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Junhoe never misses Jiu-Jitsu training. Once, he showed up bright and early to train even after playing video games with Chanwoo all night. One time, he came to train even after only a few hours of sleep because he and Donghyuk binge-watched “Weightlifting Fairy” one particularly dull Friday night.So it wasn’t surprising that he was right on time for training this morning and did pretty well, considering his Halloween misadventures the night before.It was a struggle to get Donghyuk anywhere while he was annoyingly drunk, so Chanwoo made an executive decision to just have him stay at his place for the night. They planned to sneak Donghyuk into his room, and Chanwoo figured he’d just find a way to sneak him out of the house and into school the next day.Meanwhile, Junhoe had to impersonate Donghyuk and call his mom to tell her he’d be staying over at Chanwoo’s place, and not to bother Chanwoo’s parents about it because they’re already too busy managing their massive conglomerate as it is to be bothered with such trivial things as their son’s sleepover.The plan had worked and Junhoe managed to get home, albeit later than he intended. And after a few hours he was up and ready to train.If he had it his way, he would rather train after school than very early in the morning before his first class, but his afternoons would be full all month of November, so he needed to adjust his schedule.Junhoe waited on the curb in front of the studio with his duffle bag, wrapping his jacket tighter around himself. The air was especially cold given it was just a little past 8AM and winter was fast approaching. He had been trying to call Chanwoo and Donghyuk but neither were picking up.Why do I associate myself with fools? He thought. Chanwoo usually drove them all to school, and before the Halloween party, Junhoe reminded him that the next day he would have to pick him up at the Jiu-Jitsu studio and not at his house like usual. But he was nowhere in sight and when Junhoe called, he still wouldn’t pick up.They’re probably sleeping in. Junhoe was ready to start the long trek to school when a car he didn’t recognize stopped in front of him.“Need a ride?”The car window rolled down to reveal a head of bright, purple hair.“Yeah,” Junhoe answered.“Going to school?” Bobby asked, voice upbeat and smile bright, too bright for a winter morning. Junhoe nodded again.“Me too. Hop in.” He reached across from the driver’s seat to open the door on the passenger side.Junhoe slid in and sat, closing the door after he had settled down. But the car didn’t move forward. When he turned to his right, he found Bobby looking at him, with seemingly no plans to start to drive.“Seatbelt,” he said, his eyes disappearing into his smile.“Huh?” Junhoe wasn’t usually this clueless, but it was early, he was a little exhausted from training, and being around this purple-haired boy made him lose focus somehow.Bobby reached across from the driver’s seat again, this time tugging at the seatbelt to wrap it across Junhoe and lock it in place.“There. Now I can drive.” You know how in teen movies, there’s always a shot of the popular guy looking super attractive while driving his super cool car? Bobby, Junhoe came to find, was that movie scene brought to life. He leaned back on his seat, one hand on the steering wheel while the other played with his purple hair. Every now and then he would make a comment or ask Junhoe a question, and every time he did he would briefly turn to his side to look at him. For a split second they would lock eyes, before he turned his attention back to the road ahead, as coolly and as casually as he can. Junhoe couldn’t say the same for himself, a fidgeting, awkward mess. He wasn’t good with meeting new people and random car rides.“So you went to training even after last night? I’m impressed. That’s commitment, man.”Junhoe shrugged. “I’m used to it. Jiu-Jitsu’s fun.” He fiddled absentmindedly with his phone. “What were you doing there anyway?”“I work part-time at the gym,” Bobby informed him. “I’m on opening duty all week.”“So how early did you have to be there?”“Hmm. I had to come in at 4AM? So yeah, I’m pretty wrecked right now.”“Sucks for you.” Junhoe had this lazy way of talking that made him look like he didn’t care about anything or anyone, and often it made him seem like a douchebag. The truth was, he just wasn’t the best at small talk and having casual chats.“It’s not so bad.” The truth was up until a few minutes ago Bobby did think it was a horrible setup, but after this chance encounter, he was convinced things were starting to look up.At the stoplight, Bobby fumbled with his phone and played some music through the car’s speakers.
I can dim the lights and sing you songs full of sad things
We can do the tango just for two
I can serenade and gently play on your heartstrings
Be all Valentino just for you
“You like Queen?” Junhoe asked, interested piqued. He recognized the song and that voice instantly. He never would have expected another boy his age in this town to like the same music he did.“Yeah. You?”“Since I was little. They’re my second favorite next to Michael Jackson.”“Nice. There’s more Queen here and a bunch of others.” Bobby handed him his phone. “Here, you be the DJ.”Junhoe scrolled through the other boy’s playlist: The Smiths, The Beatles, some Marvin Gaye. There were some relatively new stuff too: Phoenix, MGMT, No Doubt, Oasis, Erykah Badu. Suffice to say he was fairly impressed with Bobby’s eclectic choice of music. He pressed play on “Electric Feel” by MGMT.“Excellent choice,” Bobby remarked, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel to the beat of the music.“Duh, it’s your playlist. Of course you like it,” Junhoe quipped, rolling his eyes at him. That made Bobby snicker. This guy wasn’t easy to please.“Ooh girl, shock me like an electric eel. Baby girl, turn me on with your electric feel.” Junhoe sang the lyrics with his low, husky voice, much to Bobby’s surprise.“You sing?”“A little bit.”He waited for the other boy to elaborate, but that was all Junhoe said. He was starting to think getting to know this guy wouldn’t be easy. They reached the school and Bobby offered to drop Junhoe off at the entrance before he went to park.“Thanks,” Junhoe blurted out as he handed Bobby his phone, fingers briefly touching. He gave him a small smile before getting out of the car.“See you around,” Bobby called after him as the boy quickly walked away with his long strides, and it was only then that Bobby realized he never got to ask what his name was.
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His last class for the day couldn’t have ended fast enough. By the time the bell rang, Junhoe was off his seat and sprinting out the door of his classroom.“Hey! Aren’t we hanging out?” Chanwoo called out to him next to a barely-awake Donghyuk.“Can’t!” Junhoe shouted back. “Got plans.” With a hurried wave and a glimpse of Chanwoo flashing him something obscene with his fingers (probably pissed he’d have to babysit Donghyuk on his own again), he was out of sight.It didn’t take him long to reach Hedwig’s Café in the town’s main street. He was thirty minutes early, so he settled in and had a hot chocolate. He didn’t hang out here often, but he wished he did. The spacious café looked more like a library that happened to also sell coffee, with the floor-to-ceiling book shelves that lined the walls. One area of the café had plush couches and long tables for big groups, while the other had study desks for people who needed some solitude.It was the perfect place to boost his creativity and inspire him to write.The thought put a smile on Junhoe’s face and got him excited. He’d been waiting for this day for weeks, and had saved up his allowance so he can pay for the workshop fee.The thing about Junhoe was that if he wanted something, he’d go all in to get it, and nothing would stop him. So since he discovered his penchant for writing poetry on a family trip over the summer, he’d been on the lookout for lessons or a workshop to attend to help him improve on his craft. When the advertisement for this workshop came out, he was quick to sign up.Soon the other participants arrived and took their seats around the long table. He seemed to be the youngest one in the group, which he had expected. He didn’t think he would see anyone from his school attending this kind of thing. So he was surprised when the seat beside him was taken by a boy whose face looked familiar.Junhoe must’ve been staring too long, because the boy finally turned to look at him, catching him staring. He looked disturbed at first, but it didn’t take long for recognition to put a smile on his face. “Taekwondo dude from last night?”“Jiu-Jitsu, actually. Chicken with Little Girl Ghost?”The boy laughed, cheeks flushing red. His cheekbones pushed up and looked even higher when he smiled, turning his eyes into crescents. “I never did get your name,” he said, extending his hand. “I’m Hanbin.”Junhoe gave his name, taking the other boy’s hand in a firm handshake.The workshop began with a round of introductions. Junhoe introduced himself as a kid who wanted to write poetry. He came to learn that Hanbin was there because he wanted to improve his songwriting.Being among attendees who were much older, the two of them easily became the darlings of the group, with everyone impressed by their seemingly natural talent and eagerness to learn.Hanbin, Junhoe noticed, was particularly talented, and incredibly serious with his writing. He listened to the facilitator intently, taking down notes frantically in squiggly, uneven writing only he understood, most likely. The smile in his eyes completely disappeared, his sharp cheekbones forming shadows on his face that made him look more mature and intense beyond his years. He asked a lot of questions and challenged the facilitator like a grown up would.But when it came time to read what they had worked on that day, Hanbin became a different person. When it was his turn, all his intensity vanished, becoming the shy and awkward boy again that Junhoe met on Halloween. With some encouragement he managed to read his poem, which he had somehow turned into a rap, Junhoe supplying the beat. When they finished their impromptu joint performance, scattered applause and women swooning erupted around the table.“That was beautiful, Hanbin. And great collab idea, Junhoe. You guys keep it up!” The teacher said. Junhoe couldn’t agree more. Hanbin was so good that Junhoe felt a little intimidated, maybe even a little jealous. If there was one thing Junhoe was not, it was insecure. He knew he had talent and that he worked hard, so he was never shy about his abilities. But Hanbin reading his work made him question his skills and made him want to be better.Healthy competition, he thought. If he was going to get the best out of this workshop, he realized it would be a good idea to stick to Hanbin, maybe make him his informal pacesetter. Fortunately Hanbin seemed to have the same idea. After the workshop, it only seemed natural to head out together for a meal. They chose to go to the ramen place next door for dinner. As expected from two aspiring writers, talk between them naturally came to their favorite books.“High Fidelity by Nick Hornby. I can’t decide if Rob Fleming is a role model or a cautionary tale, but how the book tells his story is amazing,” Junhoe flailed excitedly. “You?”Hanbin took a slurp of his ramen before speaking. “Fight Club – Chuck Palahniuk. But lately I’ve been reading more mellow things, like Haruku Murakami.”“Oh!” Junhoe’s eyes went wide and sparkled. “Try Strange Weather in Tokyo by Hiromi Kawakami. You might like it.” Junhoe took a drink of his tea. “But Fight club the movie was pretty awesome too.”Hanbin nodded frantically. “Oh yeah. Definitely a classic. Favorite movies then?”“Hmm. The Dead Poets Society,” Junhoe answered with conviction.“I’ve never heard of it.”“YOU’VE NEVER HEARD OF DEAD POETS SOCIETY?”Hanbin looked at Junhoe blankly.“’Oh captain, my captain’? Carpe diem? Living deeply and sucking out all the marrow of life?”Junhoe could tell these did not ring a bell for Hanbin.“That’s it, you have to watch it. Let’s schedule something after the next workshop or something.” Junhoe fished the last piece of gyoza into his mouth with the promise to hang out with Hanbin again.Meanwhile, Hanbin tried his very best not to let his cheekbones, now raised as high as it’s ever been as a smile formed on his lips and moved up to reach his eyes, give his giddiness away.
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It didn’t take long for Bobby to find out that his name was Junhoe.The two of them had somehow built a routine over the course of two weeks: early morning Jiu-Jitsu training for Junhoe, opening duty at the gym for Bobby. Then they would meet at the curb in front of the Jiu-Jitsu studio at 8AM and drive to school together in Bobby’s car.Technically his early morning shift was only supposed to last a week, but Bobby found that he didn’t mind getting up early every day. It made the rest of the day so much more productive: he was able to finish his homework every morning before school while he was at the gym, so he was able to devote the rest of his afternoons after school to practicing his rapping. More importantly, the schedule allowed him to spend more time with Junhoe.He put their time together in his car to good use every day by getting to know the other boy a little more, slipping in a question or two in their conversations, such as:“What was the deal with you and your friends on Halloween anyway?” (just Chanwoo and Donghyuk being losers)“So why do you like Jiu-Jitsu?” (it gave him a challenge)“How old are you?” (Junhoe was younger)“When is your birthday?” (March 31st)Bobby also managed to ask a few more personal questions, like whether or not Junhoe was seeing anyone, to which the other boy replied quite instantly that he wasn’t - much to Bobby’s satisfaction (though he would never admit or show it).Sometimes Junhoe would ask questions too, though with obviously much less enthusiasm than Bobby. “So what do you want to do after high school?” Junhoe asked Bobby, much to the latter’s surprise. It was the second Monday since they started going to school together, 9 days since they first met (not that Bobby was keeping count).Junhoe asked it rather absentmindedly like an afterthought, the way someone would make a lazy comment about the weather. If he didn’t sound like he was very much into their conversation, it was the complete opposite of the truth, because he was.If you asked Junhoe, eight o’clock in the morning was too early to talk to anyone. Even when he used to ride with Chanwoo and Donghyuk to school, he often sat in the backseat quietly, half asleep while his two friends argued about something inane but mildly relevant like which Fyre Festival documentary was better (Chanwoo said Netflix’s, Donghyuk said Hulu’s).He’d only really turn his brain on by lunch time, arguing with his friends about who was the bigger douchebag – Pharma Bro or that guy who started Fyre Festival with Ja Rule (Junhoe thinks with much conviction it’s Pharma Bro).But Bobby always seemed to have something interesting to say to keep Junhoe wide awake, even on the earliest and coldest of mornings. And the boy didn’t need much prodding. Often, Junhoe found that Bobby would ask him something and he’d answer with something short and completely useless and boring, but somehow Bobby would be able to pick up on something from what he said and start talking about the most random but fascinating things, like why Nicki Minaj’s verse in “Monster” is one of the best raps in history, for instance.Junhoe never felt the need to say much in their car rides, because he’d much rather listen to Bobby ramble on about pretty much anything and everything.“Me?” Bobby slid his hand around the steering wheel, contemplating the younger boy’s question.“Yeah. What do you do anyway? Besides going to the gym and driving around and stuff.” Junhoe gave a sideways glance to Bobby. Bobby chuckled, rubbed the back of his neck, hesitating to answer. “Well…I want to be a rapper.”He half-expected Junhoe to laugh at him or roll his eyes at him dismissively, but instead, he reacted with his usual nonchalance, as if Bobby answered with something as generic as wanting to work in an office. He’ll take it – it was better than being mocked about his dream.“You know, I have a friend who wants to be a songwriter and a producer someday,” Junhoe shared. “He’s pretty good at rapping, too.”Bobby smirked, turning to look at Junhoe. “I bet I’m better,” he teased, voice a little lower and huskier than usual.Junhoe scoffed. Now, he really did roll his eyes. “Yeah well, I wouldn’t know. I’ve never heard you rap before.”“Would you want to? Because I have a gig on Saturday. Well, it’s sort of a gig but not really. It’s open mic night at Wabi Sabi. Have you been?” It was the only underground club in their town, and Bobby wasn’t sure that was Junhoe’s scene.And then it took a full second for Bobby’s brain to catch up to what he had just said – did he just sort of ask Junhoe out? He tried not to show his anxiety and excitement.Junhoe, on the other hand, remained as nonchalant as ever. He shook his head. “Never.”Bobby persevered. “Do you want to drop by?” He tried his best not to hold his breath while he waited for an answer.The other boy only shrugged. “Maybe. I’ll ask Chanwoo and Donghyuk.”Bobby supposed that was good enough. Granted, a straight up “yes” would’ve been nice. And it would’ve been better if Junhoe didn’t feel the need to drag his friends along. But Bobby was an optimistic guy. This was fine. Still, the next day Bobby thought he’d take another shot. He figured he was too subtle when he invited Junhoe to go to Wabi Sabi. So he decided he’d try and be more upfront with his intentions.“So where do you sit at lunch?” Cafeteria real estate was a big thing in their high school. Where you sat at lunch was critically important to your social standing. Bobby didn’t necessarily subscribe to it, but he figured Junhoe might.He was mistaken. Junhoe could care less, much to his relief.“I don’t know, wherever.” The younger boy shrugged. “Chanwoo doesn’t like cafeteria food, so we get drive thru a lot.”Bobby spotted an opportunity. “Cool. Maybe we should get drive thru sometime.”Another shrug from Junhoe. “Yeah, maybe. Chanwoo’s car is really small though. It can barely fit the three of us. He likes to bring that flashy sports car to school, the douchebag.”Okay, so Junhoe really wasn’t good at taking hints. And did he always have to be with his friends like, all the freaking time? On Friday, Bobby had a plan, one last shot: he’d be discreet, but more…persuasive.He picked up Junhoe from the Jiu-Jitsu studio like usual and drove off. At the intersection where he usually turned right to go to school, he instead drove straight ahead.“Uh, dummy, you missed a turn,” Junhoe remarked, mildly annoyed.“I didn’t. We’re getting breakfast. The diner okay with you?” Bobby tried to sound cool and calm, flashing a bit of a smirk towards the younger, but he was sweating buckets underneath his hoodie. His hands on the steering wheel were clammy and his knuckles were turning white from grabbing on so tightly. He hoped Junhoe wouldn’t notice.“School’s about to start in 15 minutes.”“So? Have you never played hooky before?”“I have, but I have a quiz in the morning. It’s cool though, you can just drop me off here, I can walk the rest of the way.” Junhoe was already putting on his backpack and getting ready to get off the car.Suffice to say Bobby didn’t have a Plan B. He couldn’t change his mind all of a sudden, decide not to have breakfast and just drive to school – he’d seem like a total loser. Not to mention Junhoe might realize he only really wanted to grab a bite to hang out with him. Which Bobby did, but he didn’t want the younger to find out this way.So he slowed the car to a stop and let the other boy get out. Already disappointed at the unexpected turn of events, Bobby gave it one last shot. “Wait,” He pulled the door back just as Junhoe was supposed to push it open to get out. Suddenly they were too close, and Bobby was momentarily distracted by the other boy’s long lashes, even longer from up close like this. He’d also never noticed the unique shape of the other boy’s eyes, looking at him blankly, maybe a little sleepily. His mouth was slightly agape, lips plush from his habit of biting them all the time. He looked like a sleepy, lost and clueless puppy. Bobby tried his hardest not to melt into a puddle from the cuteness. Besides, there was a task at hand. “Are you game? Wabi Sabi tomorrow? Open mic night. I’m first on the line up.” They hadn’t talked about it since the first time Bobby invited him earlier that week. He figured it was his last shot at seeing Junhoe outside of their daily routine.“Oh, right. Sorry hyung, I don’t think I can. I totally forgot to tell Chanwoo and Donghyuk and I already made other plans. See you Monday though?” Bobby spent the entire morning at the diner. By lunch he’d decided to skip school entirely for the day.Maybe he had read too much into their conversations. Maybe he got carried away by his own feelings and somehow projected them into the other boy, thinking he might be feeling the same way. But clearly Junhoe wasn’t interested in the least.No means no, he thinks. He wasn’t going to be upset about it. And there was no reason to be mad at Junhoe. He took a shot and it didn’t work, and that was okay. No hard feelings.But maybe he should move his shift at the gym.While the thought of Junhoe waiting for him by the curb on a cold Monday morning made him feel a little guilty, it wasn’t like they had some sort of agreement. Besides, Junhoe would know what to do when he didn’t show up.He could always walk to school.
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Hanbin didn’t have a very busy social calendar.If he were being honest, he didn’t have a social calendar at all. He was a very busy teenager and didn’t really have time to make friends. Besides, as far as he was concerned, he wasn’t like any other kid his age in his small town. He had never met anyone at school he could relate to.So he was pleasantly surprised when he met Junhoe at the creative writing workshop.He supposed he could consider Junhoe his friend now. They’ve spent so many evenings hanging out after the workshop sessions, only saying goodbye because it was getting too late and their moms were already looking for them.He didn’t have much experience hanging out with a friend, but judging by the time they’ve spent together so far, Hanbin has come to conclude this "hanging out" thing is an activity he can get behind.He supposed as well that it had a lot to do with the boy he was hanging out with.Junhoe somehow had a way of putting him at ease. His introverted ways always made him feel uncomfortable at social situations, especially with people he wasn’t familiar with, but somehow getting to know Junhoe came to him as easily as making music, the one thing he loved, and the one thing that kept him busy.He often spent his Saturdays in his bedroom-turned-DIY studio, penning lyrics, composing, recording. His mom would nag him to join them for lunch and he would resist. His mom would then send his little sister to his room to ask him to join them for dinner and he would oblige. But as soon as dinner was over he was back to his music.He would do this well into Sunday morning, sometimes without sleeping. He preferred making music over getting some shuteye. If he could spend every waking moment of his life making songs, he would never sleep – because what was the point of dreaming if he was already living his dream?But this Saturday was different.This Saturday, his music would have to wait.This Saturday, he had a date.Okay, so it wasn’t really a date, more like two friends going to the movies. Junhoe, it turned out, had a penchant for 90s kid sports movies, and Hanbin admittedly had never seen any. Fortunately there was a special double feature of The Mighty Ducks and Little Giants at the cinema over the weekend.Junhoe had nonchalantly asked Hanbin if he wanted to go. Their workshop for the day had just ended, and they were enjoying the rest of their hot chocolate at Hedwig’s after everyone had left. He was listening intently to Junhoe talking excitedly about Freddie Mercury, before somehow moving on to talk about Connor McGregor, and then talking about Japanese anime and his family’s recent trip to Tokyo.Junhoe, Hanbin came to find, talked about a lot of things. He had all these varied interests, all these favorite things. A few of them he loved the most – Jiu-Jitsu, his writing, his pet Maltese. He always seemed to talk about his two friends, Chanwoo and Donghyuk, always in this brash, mocking way, though he would always end it with a joke or a happy thought about them that made him smile so sincerely.Hanbin took it as just the other boy’s way of showing he cared for his friends, and maybe Hanbin found it a little adorable, how the other boy struggled to show sincere affection and always had to do it in the guise of a joke or a diss.Hanbin, on the other hand, had but one interest, one passion, one favorite thing: his music. Listening to Junhoe was like having his mind flooded by so many new and different things, jumping from topic to topic, with so many details, like someone had barged into his room and dumped a bunch of random things in it.He considered himself a minimalist, but Junhoe was the only kind of beautiful mess he warmly welcomed into his life. Hanbin was first to arrive at the cinema, but he didn’t have to wait long until the other boy was sprinting towards him. He couldn’t understand how Junhoe can show up in just a white shirt and black track pants and not freeze, when his hoodie was barely keeping him warm.It took him longer than usual to pick out the hoodie and pull together a decent outfit. He woke up that morning to a massive zit on his cheek, and while he briefly considered calling Junhoe to cancel, his little sister came to the rescue with one of her colorful cartoon print bandaids. Sure, it looked weird at first, but after a while Hanbin didn’t mind it, and maybe even considered it a fashion statement. He hoped Junhoe would think the same way. It wasn’t officially a date, but Hanbin did make an effort to look good. Yet somehow, Junhoe in his ratty white shirt (Hanbin may or may not have spotted a hole near the neckline and a tear at the hem), his track pants and dirty white sneakers still looked infinitely more gorgeous than him in his green hoodie, freshly laundered jeans and brightly colored Vans that he only wore for very special occasions.If being attracted to someone meant simultaneously feeling jealous of their beauty while admiring said beauty, then it sealed the deal: Hanbin was very much attracted to Junhoe.The realization made his heart pound a little harder in his chest, leaving him a little breathless as the other boy finally came to stand before him. “You’re here! Let me get the tickets.”“Oh, I - I already…I already got them,” Hanbin stuttered, awkwardly raising his hand to show him the tickets.Amazing – Junhoe comes along and smiles casually at him and he forgets words and how to move his limbs.“Great!” Junhoe’s smile brightens. “I’ll get the snacks then. Popcorn? Candy?” It was hard for Hanbin to focus on the movie. Meanwhile, Junhoe was so into it, which amused him to no end. Every time there was a funny scene the other boy’s eyes would crinkle and he’d flash that gummy smile of his. Hanbin tried his very best to keep his eyes on the screen and not on his seatmate.He especially tried to keep his eyes on the screen during the times when Junhoe would come closer to whisper something in his ear, like a random tidbit about the scene or a fact about the movie that he suddenly remembered.It didn’t matter that Hanbin didn’t understand most of whatever he said – he was too conscious of the fact that Junhoe was too close, way too close, and that if Hanbin turned his head to look at him, their faces would be close enough that their lips might accidentally touch and…It wasn’t a date. Hanbin shouldn’t be thinking these things. By the time the movies were over Junhoe was still full of energy. Just being next to him made Hanbin energetic too, although it was late and with anybody else, he would already be raring to go home.This time Hanbin didn’t want to go home. While they sat at the bus stop, waiting for their buses, Hanbin secretly hoped there’d be some sort of delay, and the buses would be late. He hoped for anything just so the night wouldn’t end just yet. He felt his phone vibrate on his pocket. When he opened it, he was flooded by a bunch of messages. They were from his Soundcloud fans, waiting for an update, wondering why there wasn’t one yet.He usually uploaded music to his Soundcloud on Saturdays, and today might be the only time after a really long time that he didn’t.“Whoa there, Mr. Popular. That’s a lot of messages,” Junhoe quipped while he watched Hanbin scroll through his phone.“Oh, it’s nothing, just…comments on my Soundcloud.” He had never told anyone in his real life about his music before and the small but growing loyal fanbase he was building online.“You have a Soundcloud? Wow. Can I listen to your songs?”Hanbin straightened up in his seat. “You want to listen to them? They’re not that good though, I mean I’ve only just started - ”“If you’re getting all those comments, they must be good enough. Come on! Please?”A bus arrived, and Hanbin turned to check the number on the windshield. It was Junhoe’s bus.“Your ride is here though.”Junhoe waves his hand dismissively and scooches closer to him on the bench. “I’ll take the next one. Come on, let me listen to your music.”Hanbin couldn’t say no to him. He fished his headphones from his pocket, plugged it into his phone, put on one earbud and gave the other to Junhoe. The other boy sat even closer to him, and Hanbin was suddenly thankful he hadn’t spend on Bluetooth headphones just yet. He hit play and the first note of the first song he ever composed played.Pretty soon, Junhoe was tapping his foot and bobbing his head to the music.“Hanbin, this is actually freaking great.”Hanbin blushed a violent shade of red. He had to bite the inside of his lip to keep himself from smiling too much.Eventually Hanbin’s bus arrived, but he didn’t take it. Then another one, and another one. They just sat there, listening to his music, until Junhoe’s mom called asking why he wasn’t home yet.As his bus slowed to a stop, Junhoe stood up and waved a casual goodbye. But just before he could step on the bus, Hanbin had an idea.
It’s now or never.
He pulled the taller boy back with a tug on his wrist. Junhoe looked back.“Junhoe, doyouwannagotothewinterformalwithme?”Hanbin was met with a blank face. He cleared his throat and tried again.“I mean, do you want to go to the winter formal – ”“Yeah. Sure.” Junhoe’s lips stretched into a small smile. It wasn’t like the gummy smile from earlier, or his loud, energetic guffaws. It was, for once, a shy, awkward, but satisfied smile.“I mean, Donghyuk and Chanwoo expect me to go with them, so maybe we can sit at the same table with them?”“Yeah, I mean, of course. Sounds like fun.”“Believe me, they’re not. They’re the most boring losers in the world.” Junhoe chided. “So it’d be really great to have you around, to keep things interesting.”It was Hanbin’s turn to flash a shy smile. The bus driver cleared his throat. It was time to go.“Okay, then. Thanks. See you at school?” Hanbin looked up to catch the other boy’s eyes, only to find Junhoe staring intently at him. The smile on his face was still there.“Yeah. School. Hedwig’s. Monday.” *****Hanbin was on his phone, intensely tapping as he waited for his bus.He was definitely going to spend all night writing a song and afterwards, posting it on Soundcloud.
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“You can’t be serious.” Chanwoo’s eyes were threatening to bulge out of their sockets. It wasn’t like he was expecting to be the best dressed of the three of them at the dance. Donghyuk was the fashionable one, after all. But he definitely didn’t expect this.“Duuude, you look great!” Donghyuk enthused, disbelief laced in his voice, mouth agape.Junhoe, for his part, knew his best friends would react this way when he showed up at the winter formal looking like a chaebol’s son – crisp white button down with the top buttons unfastened, a dark suit that perfectly showcased his broad shoulders, hair up, forehead out, a drop earring on one ear, and eyes a little smoky with the expertly-drawn eyeliner (thanks to his noona).The looks on Donghyuk’s and Chanwoo’s faces were priceless, and definitely boosted his confidence.“Wow Junhoe, you’re looking sharp. Do you have a date or something?” Chanwoo asked as Junhoe took a seat beside him at their table. He couldn’t think of any other possible reason why his friend, eternal lover of ratty white shirts and sweatpants, would show up suddenly dressed to the nines.Junhoe sat up straight and shrugged his shoulders. “What if I do?”Chanwoo didn’t think his eyes could get any bigger, but they did. Did Junhoe really have a date?“Seriously? Oh man, that’s awesome!” Donghyuk chimed in, giddy with excitement. It was the first time any of them had ever taken a date to a dance, and the momentous occasion undoubtedly required further discussion.But both Donghyuk and Chanwoo have known Junhoe long enough to recognize when the latter was nervous, and at that moment, despite looking his best and turning more than a few surprised heads when he walked across the dance floor to their table, Junhoe was a mess with first date jitters. It was not the right time to pry and ask questions. Donghyuk placed a hand on Junhoe’s shoulder. “Well, good for you, man. Can’t wait to meet your date.” As a new song came on through the speakers, the energy of the crowd visibly lightened, Donghyuk included.“But for now, I love this song and it’s calling me to the dance floor, and Chanwoo needs new content.” Donghyuk squeezed the other boy’s shoulder, as if to wish him luck and assure him he’ll do great on his date, before he stood up and turned to the dance floor, Chanwoo following suit, camera at the ready.Halfway to the dance floor, Chanwoo turned back to Junhoe. “Hey, I’ve got no curfew tonight, so we can stay out as long as we want,” he screamed through the music. “Meet up at the diner afterwards for burgers, okay? Bring your date!” Back at the table, now empty except for him, Junhoe sat by himself, perplexed. He did not expect to be alone at the winter formal. But there was still no sign of Hanbin. As soon as he arrived he sent Hanbin a message, but he still hadn’t gotten a reply.Starting to feel sorry for himself, he stood up and walked around the perimeter of the dance floor. He scanned the crowd, and as he towered over pretty much everyone else, he was able to look at every face at the dance, hoping to find the only one he wanted to see. Except he was nowhere to be found.Junhoe was starting to look a little sulky, hands in his pockets, shoulders a little hunched, as he kept weaving through the crowd of his classmates dancing, laughing and taking pictures.One song played, then two, then three. Still no sign of Hanbin. Junhoe was ready to call it quits, realizing he might’ve been stood up. As a new song came on, he spotted Donghyuk and Chanwoo across the dance floor with Donghyuk’s other dancer friends and decided he’d just join them, ego bruised, feelings hurt.And then he saw something amidst the crowd, right under the edge of the spotlight. A head of messy, shaggy hair. Red suit, dark pants, red Vans. A pair of sharp cheekbones, a nervous gaze and that unmistakable, shy, lopsided smile.Junhoe couldn’t help but smile back. As they walked slowly towards each other, their smiles grew brighter.No one turned to watch them meet in the middle of the dance floor. The crowds didn’t part to make way for them. But Junhoe distinctly heard the song that was playing as they did. And he knew then, that for many more years to come, that song would remind him of that moment, and of Hanbin.
You’re the coffee that I need in the morning,
You’re my sunshine in the rain when it’s pouring…
“Hey.” Junhoe didn’t know words all of a sudden.“Hey.” Maybe Hanbin forgot words too.“You look—”“Thanks. I mean, I look…you were saying?” Hanbin blushed a violent shade, embarrassed for assuming Junhoe was going to compliment him.Junhoe found the slip-up the most adorable thing. “I was gonna say, you look great,” he said, smile bright, gaze boring into Hanbin.Hanbin in turn aimed his gaze towards the floor, his lips forming that lopsided shy smile of his again. “Great. I mean, great that you think that. About me.” His cheeks remained flushed. “Thanks. Great. I mean, you look great too. And I'm sorry I'm late, I was...preoccupied. With something important. Not that it was more important than this dance. Or you. It was definitely not more important than you--”As Hanbin rambled on in a panic, Junhoe took the opportunity to take the other boy’s hand in his and pull Hanbin closer to him. In an instant, Hanbin was quiet, shocked at the sudden skinship. “Dance?” Junhoe asked, his voice even lower and more husky than usual.Hanbin took a deep breath to collect himself. “Sure.”The thing is, Hanbin wasn’t good with words unless they were song lyrics, but one thing he was good at was dancing. And at the winter formal, on the dance floor, he was going to sweep Junhoe off his feet. *****“Drop the beat yo!”The diner’s neon sign shone an electric pink light on the parking lot where Donghyuk and his dance crew danced while Chanwoo filmed them documentary-style.Meanwhile Junhoe and Hanbin were the only two customers inside the diner, watching the shenanigans outside while they enjoyed their post-winter formal burgers and milkshakes.It had been a great night – quite possibly the best school dance they’ve ever attended. They spent the entire night dancing, happy in each other’s company.At almost 3AM they were both exhausted, but neither of them wanted to go home. Because that would mean being apart from each other.Junhoe rested his head on Hanbin’s shoulder, half-asleep, tired from all the dancing. Under the table, his fingers intertwined with Hanbin’s.“I just wanna see how, beautiful you are…” he crooned absentmindedly. Even after all the upbeat songs they danced to that night, that song wouldn’t leave his mind.“You know, your voice is amazing,” Hanbin muffles into the other boy’s hair.“Thanks.”“Do you ever want to sing seriously? Like, record songs and stuff?”“But I don’t know how to write songs.”“I do. Wanna try to make a song together? We can turn your poetry into lyrics.”Junhoe tried to stifle a yawn. “I guess.” He might not have sounded excited on account of how sleepy he was, but he did think it was a good idea.“Great. Also…" Hanbin abruptly cut short what he was about to say. "Never mind.”“What?”“Nothing.”“Seriously, what?”Hanbin cleared his throat, as Junhoe felt him tense.“I had a really good time tonight.”Junhoe couldn’t help but smile as he nuzzled deeper into the nook of Hanbin’s shoulder. “Me too.”“Thanks for going to the dance with me.”“Thanks for asking me to go with you.”“I think…” Hanbin cleared his throat again. “…we should do this more often.”“Do what?”“You know, go to school dances. Eat at diners at 3AM. Together. Just the two of us. Exclusively. Like, always.”At 3AM, under the diner’s harsh fluorescent lighting, amidst their unfinished burgers and milkshakes, tired feet, soaring hearts, secret smiles, and sore legs, Junhoe said yes.
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Junhoe wasn’t particularly fond of Christmas. Sure, the break from school was great, and he loved eating everything his mom cooked for the holidays.But he didn’t enjoy getting his cheeks pinched endlessly by doting aunties, or being asked to sing and dance in front of everybody as if he were still 5 years old.Worse still were all the questions of “When will you get a girlfriend, Junhoe-ya?” and other inquiries on his personal life. He just couldn’t stand them.But there was something he always looked forward to when the Christmas season came around, and that was what he and Donghyuk called Chanwoo’s Home Alone Special. Every year in December, Chanwoo’s parents would throw a massive party at their estate for their business partners and friends. As it was always a very formal gathering where business deals were made for the next year over caviar and champagne, the night had to be perfect and kid-free. So they would kick Chanwoo out of their mansion and book a hotel suite for him for the night. Chanwoo would then invite Donghyuk and Junhoe to come over, and they’d stuff themselves silly with junk food, order room service to their hearts’ content, play board games, video games, watch movies and stay up late - basically anything they would do if they ever found themselves home alone. This year Chanwoo was able to negotiate an even better deal on account of his parents forgetting his birthday, and booked him the penthouse suite at the fanciest hotel in the city for two straight nights. Two straight nights! Junhoe and Donghyuk were beyond excited to hear the news.So it was incredibly frustrating when Junhoe found out that one of his aunts was coming over to visit earlier than usual this year, and she happened to be arriving on the same day as Chanwoo’s Home Alone Special. Junhoe promised Chanwoo and Donghyuk he’d be there in time for all the fun, but knew he’d have to miss some of it because he’d have to make an appearance and spend time with his aunt and the rest of the family first. It was pretty late in the evening by the time Junhoe managed to get a ride from his dad to the hotel. He made his way to the penthouse in haste and came to find their little get-together had already started without him.“You finally made it!” Chanwoo exclaimed as Junhoe walked in, handing him a huge slice of pizza and a can of soda as he led him to the living room. “We’ve been binge-watching Stranger Things. But now that you’re here, we can start the Mortal Kombat tournament! 2 on 2 to the death!”“Two on two? But there’s only three of us—”“Junhoe-ya! I thought you were never gonna get here!” Donghyuk was sprawled on the couch with his own slice of pizza, eyes glued to the massive TV. Next to him was a boy with purple hair whom Junhoe knew very well.“Bobby hyung?”“Oh right, you guys met that night at the cul de sac! In case you forgot him, Bobby Hyung, this is Junhoe, he’s –”“He knows who I am,” Junhoe interjected.“Hey Junhoe. Long time.” Bobby flashed him a smile before turning back to the TV. Junhoe could only smile back. He never figured out why Bobby suddenly just stopped showing up at the Jiu-Jitsu studio in the mornings to give him a ride. Junhoe sort of regretted that he never even asked him for his number nor connected with him on social media – he was just starting to warm up to the older boy, and was actually looking forward to being friends with him.But then again, maybe Bobby didn’t feel the same way. So that was the end of that.“We ran into hyung getting pizza and invited him. Anyway, let’s get started!” Chanwoo dragged Junhoe down to the couch next to Bobby and handed him a controller. “Let the carnage begin!” ***“NOW IT’S REALLY A PARTY!”Donghyuk emerged from the kitchen in nothing but a shirt and his boxers, a six pack of beer in one hand and a bottle of soju in the other.Junhoe looked at Chanwoo warily. They always did unruly things at their annual Christmas staycation, but never anything that was actually illegal. And drinking alcohol while they were underage was definitely illegal. Sure, they had done it at other people’s parties, but they only drank when offered, and they had never initiated it themselves.Chanwoo met his eyes, but they didn’t mirror Junhoe’s worry. Instead, he smiled casually as if to tell Junhoe to relax while turning off the camera he was holding and placing it under the coffee table. He had been taking footage all night for his vlog, but for this part of the night, it seemed he knew better than to document it.“You’re all staying over tonight, right? No one driving home?” Bobby’s lips were suddenly very close to Junhoe’s ear, and his husky whisper caught the younger boy off guard.“Uh, y-yeah. And none of us know how to drive anyway.”“Okay, then.” Bobby stood up to face Donghyuk and extended his hand for a fist bump. “Alright, let’s get this party started!” ***“want…more…shots…”Donghyuk crawled from his spot on the carpet to the empty space between Junhoe and Bobby on the couch.“More…shots? Shots? Shmots?” He leaned on Junhoe’s shoulder and looked up at him with drunk puppy eyes, raising the empty shot glass to his face.Junhoe carefully took the shot glass from his very inebriated friend. “I’m cutting you off, Donghyuk.”“HUWHAT? HUWHY?” Donghyuk sat up, realized he couldn’t physically hold himself up because he was so freaking drunk, then slouched back down against Junhoe’s chest. “You just want the tequila for yourself. You and him.” He rolled his eyes at Bobby on his other side.The beer and soju were gone in a flash in just a few rounds, but somehow Bobby had been able to uncover a bottle of tequila from somewhere. And that’s when the mess really started. Eventually Chanwoo was passed out on the floor on a path towards his bedroom, hugging his camera. Donghyuk was trying his best to stay awake, albeit failing rather miserably.Meanwhile, Junhoe and Bobby were still going strong, still conscious and fairly alert. Sure, Junhoe did feel a little lightheaded and…giggly, for some reason, but he was still conscious enough to look after his two friends who were, as he had expected, a duo of lightweights.“It’s not our fault you can’t handle your tequila, Donghyukie,” Bobby said in a low, husky drawl“I can SO handle my…tequi-turkeyla,” Donghyuk retorted. “In fact, I’ll SHOW YOU I can handle my tequila. Hand me the bottle, Junhoe-ya.”“Donghyuk, we’re out. I’m serious. The bottle is empty.”“But…BUT!” Donghyuk attempted to stand up, but almost immediately fell down in a heap on the floor, hugging his knees and trying his hardest to sob dramatically. Despite the alcohol haze, Junhoe had enough sense to laugh obnoxiously at his silly, overdramatic friend.“I just…wanted…more tequila…” he sulked. “Why can’t I have nice things? Whyyyy Bobby Hyung, why? Chanwoo has his vlog, and Junhoe has a Hanbin, but I…I have…”“You have the best dance moves and the best sneaker collection in town,” Bobby finished for him, a gentle smile playing on his lips. “Now c’mon, let’s get you to bed.” Slowly he held Donghyuk up and walked him to the nearest bedroom.Junhoe watched from his spot on the couch, feeling heady, eyelids heavy, unwilling to move. Something Donghyuk said lingered on his mind.“Junhoe has Hanbin.”He does have Hanbin. And how lucky of a jerk he is to have him, the most talented and kindest boy he knew. He suddenly remembered how much he missed him, and how it sucked that they wouldn’t even be able to see each other on their first Christmas together because he’s miles away on a trip with family. If only Junhoe could be with…“Okay, the kids are all tucked in.” Bobby trudged back to the couch and plopped beside him, interrupting his thoughts.“Aaaaand…we still have this.” Bobby fished the tequila bottle from behind the couch pillows. Gold liquid still swirled at the bottom of the bottle, enough for two shots.“Nice.” Junhoe took his shot glass. Bobby poured the leftover tequila on their glasses and together they downed them before sitting back on the couch again, a comfortable silence between them.“So. You have a Hanbin.”Junhoe nodded. “Yes. I have a Hanbin.”Funny how they were both thinking the same thing, curated from their drunk friend’s final drunken thoughts before passing out.“And Hanbin is a boy from our school?”“Yes. You don’t know him?”“I don’t know a lot of people in school.” Bobby scratched the back of his head. “I…I only know you, really.”Junhoe shrugged. “Well Hanbin and I are in the same year.”“How long have you been…” Bobby cleared his throat. “together?”“A month.”“Hmm. How did it happen?”“It just…did, I guess. At the winter formal. Hey, why didn’t I see you there?”“Ah. I had a gig. My second one. At Wabi Sabi.”“Cool.”“Yeah.”Neither of them seemed to know what else to say, and silence fell between them again.“The invite is still open, you know. If you wanna watch one of my gigs. Bring Hanbin too, if you like.” Bobby turned to look at Junhoe next to him. The younger boy’s eyes were already rather droopy from the alcohol, staring into space, mouth slightly agape, chin dropped down to his chest, arms crossed over a pillow on his lap. He looked like the most adorable human being Bobby had ever seen.The most adorable human being with a Hanbin.“He’d like that. He’s a producer too, you know. And a rapper.”A producer and a rapper? In his alcohol-laden state, Bobby could’ve sworn Junhoe was talking about him. After all, he too produced his own music. He too was a rapper.Bobby had to laugh at the irony of it all. Junhoe ended up with another boy who, at least from what little knowledge Bobby had at the time, was someone just like him.He had to wonder what Hanbin had that he didn’t that made Junhoe fall for him.“But he won’t be back until after New Year’s, so maybe we can come see you then.” Junhoe shifted on the couch, trying to get more comfortable. He took out his phone and connected it to the TV. “Hey, I’m not sleepy yet. Do you wanna watch a movie? I stole my noona’s Netflix account…” *****The night progressed with a Quentin Tarantino movie marathon. Much to Junhoe’s surprise, Bobby was also a huge fan, and they stayed up till early in the morning talking about the tiniest details and intricacies of each Tarantino movie.“I wish we had done this sooner.” It was 5AM, and while Junhoe had more to say about the merits of the kitchen fight scene at the beginning of Kill Bill Vol. 1, he couldn’t fight sleep any longer. He felt his body lean back further into the couch, his head resting on Bobby’s shoulder.“Me too,” Bobby replied, voice even huskier from sleep, eyes barely open. He shifted his weight to make room for Junhoe next to him, making sure the other boy was comfortable while leaning on him.“Junhoe?”“Hm?”“What are you doing New Year’s Eve?”“Hmm. Dunno. Why?”“Nothing. Just…” Bobby cleared his throat. It’s now or never. “If you’re not doing anything, maybe we can hang out, you know, celebrate together?”“M’kay.” Junhoe sighed before burrowing further into Bobby’s side, about to doze off. “Good night, Hyung.”Bobby could only smile as he watched Junhoe fall asleep soundly next to him.“Good night, Junhoe.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Wanna hang out?
Junhoe had been sprawled on their couch at 9AM after a massive breakfast of leftovers. It was the day after Christmas, a day when Junhoe would usually hibernate, still reeling from the festivities of the day before and basking in the freedom to be able to do absolutely nothing.But Bobby’s text had him scrambling to get dressed and rushing to get out of the house so he could stand at their porch in the cold, waiting for the older boy’s car.It had been a week since they last hung out at the hotel, and Junhoe had been waiting for a chance to do it again since. He wasn’t sure why – he rarely wanted company this time of year, having enough social interactions from all the relatives who would come over and the occasional holiday parties he would attend with Chanwoo and Donghyuk. He’d much rather stay at home to write his poetry and binge-watch Netflix shows.But Bobby was a different story. He was unlike anyone he’d known before – wise beyond his years but nonchalant about it, and carried himself with a casual, quiet confidence. Most importantly, he was a lot of fun to be with.Junhoe burrowed deeper in his coat as a gust of wind blew past him just as Bobby’s car finally pulled up to their driveway.“Were you waiting long? Sorry. This weather is insane.” Bobby waited for him to get settled on the passenger seat before leaning in.“Ah, safety first,” he murmured silently as he pulled the seatbelt over Junhoe, avoiding the younger boy’s gaze. This close, Junhoe could smell the familiar scent of his cologne. It hadn’t been long since he was last in Bobby’s car, but he was already feeling nostalgic. Or were those butterflies in his stomach?“No one should be out in this weather,” Junhoe retorted, “yet here we are, hyung.” His lips curved up and his eyes crinkled into a bright smile.Bobby suddenly didn’t know how to drive. He could only smile back. -----“How do you know about this place?” Junhoe asked while his eyes scanned the shop in excitement. He had no idea there was a vintage store in their town, and one that had a pretty great collection of 80s and 90s movie and music memorabilia: from Pulp Fiction posters to Queen vinyl records and concert shirts.“A guy at the gym told me about it,” Bobby replied. “Thought you might like it.”“Bobby! There you are.” The shop owner came out from the back room to greet them. “I kept it for you right here.”Bobby walked up to the counter and waited as the owner pulled a tiny box from one of his drawers. He handed the box to Bobby. “It’s in really good shape. Best quality vintage watch I’ve seen in a while.”Bobby opened the box and wore the vintage Casio around his wrist. He had been waiting to get one of these for a while now. And while they’ve recently been rereleased, he didn’t want anything to do with the new ones.“Nice,” Junhoe murmured behind him. The younger boy was looking over his shoulder, his eyes on the watch.They spent a bit more time at the shop, poring over the records and movie posters. But after a while, their stomachs were grumbling.Junhoe thought they were going to a café or to the diner for lunch, but Bobby had other plans. He picked up a pizza from the restaurant next to the vintage store and they both headed back to the car.“Where are we going, hyung?”“You’ll see,” Bobby said with a wink. They drove past the city limits and along empty roads, rows upon rows of trees on either side. Junhoe quite liked the snowy view, but he did not expect it could get better. So he was surprised when, after a few more minutes of driving, Bobby turned on a small road, driving a little further until he slowed down to stop. Only then did Junhoe realize that he had stopped exactly on the edge of a cliff, in front of a beautiful view.“It’s an ancient sinkhole. I read about it in the library when I first moved here.” Bobby reached out to the backseat to pull a blanket, jug and two mugs. “I went looking for it as soon as I got a car and I’ve been coming here ever since. But I’ve never seen it in winter.” The spot where they parked overlooked a large bowl-shaped cavity filled with snow-capped pine trees. Small, frozen waterfalls lined the walls of the giant crevice. It looked like a winter forest straight out of a fairy tale.“I had no idea this existed,” Junhoe whispered in awe, not taking his eyes away from the view. Little did he know, Bobby couldn’t take his own eyes away from his own view, watching Junhoe silently, a smile forming on his face.Christmas came a day late for Bobby, but it didn’t matter. Spending time like this with Junhoe was the only thing he could’ve asked for. Bobby handed Junhoe the blanket and had the younger boy hold on to the pizza while he dealt with the jug in his hands. The smell of rich chocolate wafted out of the jug as soon as Bobby opened it. “This hot chocolate is my brother’s recipe and it is the best hot chocolate you will ever taste. I can’t tell you what’s in it, but I can always make you some if you start craving for it. Because you will crave for it.” He poured some into the mug and handed it to Junhoe, who eagerly cupped it between his hands, blowing on to the warm liquid before taking a sip. As soon as the liquid hit his lips, the younger boy’s eyes went wide in amazement, and Bobby couldn’t help but laugh at how cute he was.Their little winter picnic was all set. They started eating their pizza and drinking their hot chocolate, just as Bobby put on some new music Junhoe didn’t recognize.“What song is this?” he asked Bobby in between big bites on his pizza.“You like it?”“Yeah. New artist?”“You can say that.” Bobby shifted in his seat. “That’s me.”Junhoe almost choked on his pizza. “No way! That’s you?”Bobby rubbed the back of his neck and laughed shyly.“Wow, hyung. You sound amazing.”“You think?”“Yes! You have to produce like an album or something. I mean, this is such a jam.”Bobby ended up playing Junhoe all the songs he’s ever made. With each song, Junhoe got more and more convinced that Bobby could make it big with his music, and Bobby’s heart swelled. He’d never had anyone cheer him on like this. “Why do you like it here?” Junhoe asked suddenly. Lunch was over and they’ve run out of songs to talk about. Bobby took a moment to think. “I don’t know. Sinkholes fascinate me. In a second, they can take everything away, just like that. But they’re beautiful places too. This one has become a beautiful forest out of nothing. Something beautiful came out of nothing. That gives me hope somehow. Like even if you lose everything...there's still something in you that will remain, that will grow. I mean I don't have much, but..."”You don't need anything else, hyung. You're already you and you're more than enough."
I could use a you in my life.
Bobby wanted to tell Junhoe right then and there that all he really wanted was a chance with him. That being friends was great and all, but that every time Bobby was around him, he had a strong urge to reach out and kiss him. That he would do anything to make the younger boy happy.But Bobby didn’t dare say a word.He missed his chance again.
All I really wanna do is love you
A kind much closer than friends use
But I still can't say it after all we've been through
And all I really want from you is to feel me
As the feeling inside keeps building
And I will find a way to you if it kills me
If it kills me
If it kills me
I think it might kill me