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"Are we there yet?" Simon asked, leaning in-between the seats of the car to get closer to the front.
Jace, who was currently driving, turned his head and glared at him while Maia rolled her eyes fondly. "No, we're not and we are barely closer than when you asked five minutes ago. So stop it."
Simon smiled and leaned back into his seat, while Jace looked like he was regretting ever getting into this situation in the first place. The answer was Alec (but mostly Magnus). They had decided to celebrate Christmas somewhere other than New York for once, and the location they'd picked ended up being across the state. Izzy and Clary had driven down a few days earlier to prepare and now it was time for the rest to make the trip. Simon, Jace, Maia, and Raphael.
Somehow, Magnus had managed to talk Raphael into going with them, pointing out how it would be better for the environment if they took one car instead of two. Raphael had glowered at that and had muttered in Spanish under his breath. However, it worked nonetheless.
Out of the corner of his eye, Simon looked at the other man, who was pointedly staring out the window, sulking. Despite the circumstances, being stuck in a car (with Jace especially) for hours at an end, Simon was far from unhappy with how it all had turned out. He held off a grin at the aspect of spending more than six hours with Raphael. The reason for this was that for several months, Simon had been harboring a crush on him. A crush that seemed to be painfully obvious to everyone who knew Simon, with the exception of Raphael.
Raphael had always been Magnus' friend rather than a part of their group, but he had still spent a lot of time with them over the last year. At first, Simon had been terrified of him and his sharp, pale beauty, but it had soon changed and turned to something more. Simon slowly started noticing how Raphael would always check that everyone was there and okay when they went out. How he would smile when he thought no one saw, and how he was always there for anyone who needed him, even though he was snarky about it. And after he'd let out a startled laugh at one of Simon's bad jokes, he knew there was no out.
But, Simon knew there was no hope for him in that department as Raphael was way out of his league. Besides, why would Raphael ever like Simon? In reality, it kind of seemed like the older man hated him sometimes. Simon tried not to focus too much on that. And it definitely wasn’t going to stop him from making the best out of the situation, though. There was no doubt about it.
So, when Maia had dozed off, and Jace had turned up the volume on some bad song, it was time for Simon to bring the earbuds out. Just like Raphael had a while ago. His eyes shifted nervously as he pretended to mess around in his bag to make it look believable to any potential onlookers, even if he knew exactly where his pair was. Simon would never leave his apartment without them.
He leaned back, Simon’s expression one of utter devastation, and he said loudly, "Oh, man! I can't believe I forgot my earbuds on this long trip!" When Raphael didn't move or even look at him, Simon continued, this time even louder, "It's a shame no one is willing to share their music. Good music, so, not the one Jace listens to!"
For a moment, he thought that his attempt might be hopeless, but Raphael seemed to take pity on him and without a glance in Simon’s direction, he wordlessly handed him one of his own.
He tried to not let his glee show too much as he took the earbud. Automatically, he scooted closer and put it in his ear. Through the rearview mirror, Simon could see Jace raise a questioning brow, but Simon quickly looked away, ignoring the blond. it didn’t take long until Simon’s head unconsciously fell on Rapahel’s shoulder. At first, Raphael went rigid, tense under the contact but slowly, he relaxed and leaned his head back against the younger man’s. Simon closed his eyes and let the music swallow him whole,
“Thank you, Raphael,” he murmured softly.
Simon woke up one hour later as Maia shook him awake. "You want something? Now's the time.” She gestured to the gas station they had stopped at.
He groaned and stretched. “Where’s Jace?”
“Already inside.”
When he was just about to reply, Simon realized that his head was still resting on Raphael’s shoulder. Quickly, he scrambled away, and as a result, he accidentally ripped the earbud out. He blushed furiously.
“Sorry,” he muttered, while Raphael just smirked.
Simon quickly got out of the car, then immediately regretted it as it was cold and he wasn't wearing a jacket. Maia had already left them behind and entered the gas station, and Simon went to follow her. Finally, he stopped shivering.
Maia looked over at him and smiled a smile that Simon knew would bring trouble. "Jace filled me in."
He tried to look confused and innocent but failed miserably. So he picked up Maia’s favorite candy for good measure. “I don’t know what you’re talking about?” he said, but it came out too much like a question and Simon could tell she wasn’t buying it.
"You always bring your earbuds. No matter what,” she simply said and Simon knew he was caught.
It didn’t stop him from trying though. Simon stayed quiet for a moment, desperate to come up with a clever retort to explain everything. He came up with nothing. “He has a good taste in music?”
She sighed and discarded his reply. "Why don't you just tell him that you like him?"
He gave her a look as if she'd grown a second head. “Are you crazy?”
Maia sighed again. "What?"
"Of course I can't, he will just dislike me even more!"
Now it was Maia's turn to look at him weirdly. "Dislike you? You're one of the few he actually seems to enjoy spending time with. Do you think he'd let just anyone use him as a human pillow?"
Simon did not know what to say to that. "But he's Raphael and I'm just... Me."
"But you like him?" Maia continued on. Her eyes flickered to something behind him as her grin grew bigger.
"Of course he does," a voice came from right behind him and Simon jumped, startled. He spun around so fast that he almost knocked the candy off of the shelf.
He stuttered something unhearable, which made Raphael chuckle, eyes sparkling. “I understand, cariño. My taste in music is great."
The next moment he was gone and Simon wondered just how long the other man had been standing there. Something told him that he didn’t want the answer to that.
Simon quickly turned back to Maia, who was watching him with an amused look, all while Simon was panicking. "What does that mean? Does he hate me
now
?"
Maia laughed and patted him on the back. "I can definitely promise you that he does not."
Simon did not believe her.
Back in the car, things were awkward and Simon pointedly refused to look at neither the man next to him nor the woman in front of him. Their part of the car became off-limits for the remaining time and if Jace noticed the tense silence created by Simon, he didn't mention it. Instead, the blond seemed to do his best to ignore them all as he sang along loudly to the songs that played on the radio of the car.
In other words, it was awful and it was made worse when Simon could feel Raphael’s gaze on him, which he couldn’t drown out with his own music. Good music. Because reaching down for his own earbuds would be the last drop and admit defeat.
When they finally reached their destination, Clary greeted them, as fat snowflakes covered her vibrant red hair. She gave Jace a kiss and embraced her boyfriend tightly. Then, she gave Simon a bright smile. “How was the ride?”
At that, Simon practically fell into her arms. “Good, but mostly fucking awful.”
-
After greeting everyone it was time to decide who was sleeping where. There were four bedrooms and they were eight people, so everyone was going to be dividing into pairs. It sounded good until he realized that everyone there was in a relationship, which meant that he and a certain pale, gorgeous guy were the only ones not already paired up.
"Okay, so we already settled in," Magnus told the group, his arm wrapped around his boyfriend's shoulders. "Izzy and Maia get the blue room, Biscuit, and Trace-"
"Jace,” Jace tried to correct, but Magnus brushed him off. "Biscuit and TRACE, as I just said, get the other last room upstairs, which leaves Raphael and Sheldon. They will then get the room on this floor. Does that work for everyone?"
Simon didn’t try to correct Magnus like Jace had, as he had already given up on that, but he spoke up anyway. "No, it’s fine. Raphael can take the room, I'll just sleep on the couch. Closer to the tv, anyway."
"You sure, Sherwin?" Magnus asked as his eyes flickered from him to Raphael. Simon just nodded and the subject was dropped. He avoided looking at Raphael, who Simon felt was staring at him. Simon tried to ignore it the best he could.
The group spent the rest of the night playing games and talking.
“I’m getting some hot cocoa, does anyone want something?” Simon said before he made his way to the kitchen to make himself a drink. He didn’t notice Raphael coming up behind him until it was too late, jumping slightly as he spoke directly into his ear.
"You actually think that I don't like you, cariño?"
However, Simon didn’t get the chance to respond, because before he could even open his mouth, Raphael leaned closer, and suddenly they’re kissing. Taken aback, Simon was unresponsive for a second, before he kissed back just as good as he received. At that, Raphael groaned approvingly and put his hands behind Simon’s head, pulling him closer.
Then, just as suddenly as he had kissed him, Raphael leaned away. He smirked at Simon’s startled expression and licked his lips slowly. He patted Simon’s cheek lightly and just as quickly as he appeared, Raphael was gone, which left a clueless, out-of-breath Simon behind, leaning against the kitchen counter.
Simon pressed his fingers to his lips, and for a moment he believed that Raphael just might like him back. At least a little bit. But as the smile was spreading across his face he noticed the mistletoe right above his head, which explained it all. Raphael kissed him because he had to, not because he actually liked him or felt any other than platonic feelings toward him. Maybe he even pitied him, as a person who liked someone who he never ever had a chance with.
It was like the air went out of him as he walked back to the couch to join the others and sulk, cocoa completely forgotten.
-
It had been a full day since the kiss, a day filled with avoiding Raphael and Simon was not moping. No, nope, not even close! And the looks his friends kept sending him said otherwise, but what did they know?
He sat curled up in the corner of the couch, while the others were participating in a game of twister. However, he was not moping so much that he couldn’t even muster a smile when Clary fell on top of Alec, which made him screech.
Raphael was not participating either, as he sat tensely on the other end of the couch, nursing a cup of spiced wine. It looked like he was deep in thought. The moment he caught Simon looking at him, his smile turned into a frown. It made his heart clench, “Simon, I-”
Simon was already on his feet “I’m hungry!” he declared.
Then, he escaped into the kitchen before anyone had the time to react. Simon took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes as he tried to avoid thinking about what had happened there the previous day. With a sigh, he put his glasses back on and barely avoided screaming as he saw that Raphael had crept upon him. “You gotta stop doing that, dude!”
Raphael raised a brow. “Dude?”
When Simon didn’t respond, Raphael took a step closer to him, which made Simon take one step back. As a result, the other man started to frown again. The younger man hurried to explain himself, “Sorry, but I can’t do this. You know I like you, so don’t hate me but I just can’t be close to you right now. And I know you don’t like me, so can we just leave this behind us and pretend-”
“Dios!” Raphael exclaimed suddenly, clearly frustrated.
Simon inhaled sharply, confused. “What-”
“Dios!” Raphael said again. “I
like
you, Simon.”
Simon blinked. “What? You do?”
“Yes, I like you,” he repeated as if he was expecting Simon not to hear him. “Why else would I kiss you?”
Simon blushed, but still managed to do a few guesses. “Mistletoe? Pity?”
As he sighed, Raphael gave him an annoyed look that quickly softened as he stared at Simon. “No. That’s a waste of time.”
Then they were kissing again and it was perfect, even better than before.
A while later, Raphael took Simon’s hand and led him back to the living room, where the others had stopped playing and were now looking through old photo albums. Only Clary noticed them when they arrived, and she sent Simon a happy grin. He gave her thumbs up in return, which made Raphael roll his eyes as he sat down on the couch.
For a moment, Simon was unsure where to sit, but Raphael just patted the space beside him. “Come here.”
And Simon did. He settled in beside the other man, their sides were pressed together and Simon leaned his head against Raphael’s shoulder. With a smile, Raphael kissed the top of Simon’s head, before he leaned down to peck Simon’s mouth.
From the other side of the room, Magnus hid a smile behind the back of his hand. “I take it that you’re sharing the room then?”
Simon looked up at Raphael who flashed his teeth in a fond smile. “Of course.”
Among the cheers and “Congrats” from their friends, Jace muttered, “Finally.” For a second, Simon thought he was the only one who heard, but he was quickly proven wrong when Raphael threw a gingerbread cookie his way. It hit the blond right between his eyes, making him yelp in surprise.
“That’s for his bad taste in music,” Raphael explained with a shrug. Maia laughed loudly at that and Isabelle watched them fondly. “Ah, yes. Because Raphael's music taste is so superior. Right, Simon?” Maia said and winked at him.
At that, Simon ducked his head and pressed his face against Raphael’s neck. “The best,” he muttered, which made Raphael chuckle.