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Ryuji couldn’t believe it. Akira Kurusu, his boyfriend, got into smash bros and he’s going to introduce him to fucking Yoshi. Yoshi. YOSHI. Ryuji was quivering in excitement as he waited for his beauty to arrive. It didn’t take long until he came in all his flamboyant gay glory.“Aki!” Ryuji yelled as he swung open the door and glomped his boy. Both boys fell to the ground, with Akira embracing the excited blond.“It’s nice to see you too, Ryuji.”“Are we gonna go see Yoshi now?” Ryuji asked impatiently, his body still shaking with all the energy he contained. Akira nodded and Ryuji squealed with glee. He’s gonna meet Yoshi! This was going to be the best day of his life. Akira snapped his fingers and a portal came out of nowhere. Ryuji got up and offered his hand to Akira. The raven-haired boy grabbed it and stood up, dusting himself on. He grabbed Ryuji’s hand again and led him through the portal.Smash Mansion was… a chaotic mess of fun and disaster. Children were running around, swords were being compared, weird looking beings hung out in the shadows. It was strange. Ryuji almost jumped as he noticed a pink round thing touch him.“The fuck is that?” Ryuji asked, moving away from it. Akira laughed and picked the pink creature up, smiling when it let out a ‘poyo.’“This is Kirby! Say hi Kirby.”“Hiii~” Kirby waved. Ryuji waved back. He felt stupid for being scared in the first place. Akira smiled brightly, “I adopted him.”“You WHAT now?”“I adopted him.”“You can’t just adopt him like that. No one said you c-”“Who said I couldn’t?”
“But you-”“Shhhh,” Akira shushed his partner, pressing a finger to his lips. Ryuji looked down at Kirby, noticing how attached to Akira he was. He would let it slide, for now anyway. The two continued to walk, passing by two angels and a very pretty green-haired lady. Both boys waved at them as they passed by, earning smiles and a scowl. It was relaxing, in a strange way. It was until a blue blur ran straight into Ryuji.“Oh my God, I am so sorry!” Sonic exclaimed, rolling off the boy. Ryuji grumbled and was about to swear his face off until he noticed it was Sonic the motherfucking hedgehog who had run into him.“I-Is that really you?! ARE YOU REALLY SONIC THE HEDGEHOG???” Ryuji exclaimed, his jaw dropping. Sonic smiled and did a little backflip since he was a show off like that, “The one and only!” Ryuji squealed and grabbed his hand, shaking it rapidly.“It is an absolute honour to meet you Mr. Hedgehog.”“Oh p-please, just Sonic is fine.” Sonic stammered out, blushing in embarrassment.“Right, right, my apologies.” Ryuji bowed. Sonic looked away, awkwardly rubbing at the back of his head. He suddenly perked up when he remembered that he was supposed to meet someone.“Well, I gotta blast but I’ll catch you later!” Sonic said as he ran away. Kirby slapped a hand against his face and Akira nearly keeled over.“Where’s he going?” Ryuji asked.“Probably to see Fox,” Akira answered.“Fox?”“Fox McCloud, from Star Fox.”“Ooooh, that guy. Why?”“Yiff.”“What?”
“Nothing.”“But you-” Before Ryuji could finish his sentence, Akira pressed a finger against his lips once more, shaking his head. Ryuji just nodded, his mind-boggling at what the fuck was happening here. The two resumed their walk until they reached a garden. Ryuji’s eyes widened as his gaze fell upon the two Links sitting down, signing at each other idly until they got even wider when he looked and saw Yoshi sleeping in a patch of grass.Akira put Kirby down and walked over to the sleeping dinosaur. He poked him gently and whispered to him. The dinosaur woke up with a cute yawn, causing Ryuji to swoon at how cute he was.“Yoshi, that guy over there is my friend. His name is Ryuji, so please don’t try to eat him or anything. He’d like to be friends.” He smiled. Yoshi nodded and trotted over to the blonde, who was close to tears.“Yoshi, my God is it an honour to meet you.” Yoshi nodded. Ryuji stuck out his hand. Yoshi stared at it for a moment, as if he was unsure of what to do. He returned the handshake eventually, still staring at the blond. Ryuji squirmed a bit, not knowing what to say.Akira sat down a distance away, with Kirby dozing away at his lap. He watched the two interact, hoping that nothing bad would happen. He really did want Ryuji to have a good time here. His attention was then directed toward Kirby once he heard a quiet, serene poyo come out of his lips. He hummed a tune, petting the orb as they remained outside. He didn’t notice Ryuji running.“OH MY GOD, WHAT DID I DO??” Ryuji screeched as he ran through the mansion, bumping into people and screaming apologies as he ran, his heart rate growing every time he saw green. He had just been rambling to Yoshi until he had mentioned taxes, not noticing how the dinosaur’s eyes began to light with a strange emotion. It took a while, but he did eventually notice a menacing aura emit from the creature.He jumped over one of the couches in the room, cursing as he fell face first onto the floor. He got back up as quickly as he could though since he had no time to rest if he didn’t want to die. A blue-haired swordsman cursed him as he slammed into him. Getting back up only to stomp on him as he ran. He didn’t even bother apologizing this time since his life was on the line. As he ran up the stairs, he saw a glimpse of Yoshi with something large and black within his hand.“Is that… Is that a HAMMER?” Ryuji screamed in question. A loud slam could be heard from below as noise in confirmation. Ryuji swore as he almost pissed himself in fear. Coming here was a big mistake and regretted asking for anything. He would never ask for anything like this ever again.Akira looked up and noticed that both Ryuji and Yoshi were gone. He grabbed Kirby and stood up, looking around. He saw Marth come in, clearly pissed off with a large shoe mark on his face. The teen walked over to the prince, trying hard not to laugh.“W-Was it Ryuji?” He stuttered out. Marth simply nodded, bloody murder filling in his eyes. He gave Akira the location of where he saw him last, and Akira shouted thanks over his shoulder as he ran.“GOD SAVE ME!” Ryuji cried. Tears of fear were pouring out of his eyes as he continued to run, jumping and dodging people as he went. Yoshi was absolutely berserk. There were times where he would even see his tongue near his leg before he managed to boost up before it could even touch him. He wept as he wondered what could’ve possibly hwe59ywall next him. The blonde squealed as he ran even faster, breathing heavily as he was beginning to get tired.Akira ran with Kirby in his arms, wheezing as he bumped into people. He apologized many times, jumping and dodging groups and furniture that got in his way. As soon as he saw a flash of green, he skidded to a halt and ran in the direction of the dangerous dinosaur. The boy jumped and ran alongside the creature in a hidden area, keeping an eye out for Ryuji. Kirby remained in his arms, watching Yoshi’s every move. Akira looked down at him.“You got a plan?”“Poyo,” Kirby responded. Akira smiled, having a bit of an idea himself. He mumbled his plan to Kirby to make sure it was along the lines of his own. Kirby made a noise in confirmation and the two set to work. Akira saw a flash of blonde and alerted Kirby, who prepared himself. Both Yoshi and Akira ran in the direction of the blur, with Akira struggling to stay hidden every time he heard Ryuji scream.“Shit!” Ryuji swore loudly as he stumbled and fell, rolling over a few times due to how fast he was going. He rubbed his head and groaned, only to whip his head around at the sound of heavy footsteps. Yoshi walked over to him, slowly. Menacingly. Like Dio when he and Jotaro were approaching each other in that one meme. Yeah, that one.Ryuji got on all fours and tried to scramble away, only to have his legs kicked from under him. He yelped as his chin hit the ground hard, turning around to face Yoshi and the hammer of punishment. The blonde screamed, his noise echoing throughout the mansion. The sight of the hammer slowly coming down caused his world to go black. He swore he heard a faint ‘poyo!’ at that moment, but he didn’t bother to even try to stay awake.Ryuji groaned as he came to. He found himself in a bedroom that looked somewhat like Akira’s, except with a few different decorations. The blonde almost let out a squeal as he felt something in his lap, only to see that it was a sleepy Kirby, who was groggily rubbing at his eyes as he was waking.“Are you okay?” Ryuji turned his head to the source of the voice, Akira. He smiled sheepishly, “I’m good.” Akira chuckled.“You gave me and Kirby quite the scare. What did you do to make Yoshi go loose like that.”“I don’t know. I was rambling about random things and as soon as I mentioned taxes-”“You what?”“I mentioned taxes?...” Akira shook his head solemnly, both he and Kirby shared the same look as they stared at the boy in front of them.“Ryuji… that is the one thing you must never do.”“Why?” Akira leaned in, looking around nervously as he did so. He whispered so quietly in Ryuji’s ear, the blonde barely caught it.“He committed tax fraud.”