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Bobby's destiny was all mapped out for him. As the firstborn son of the king, he was supposed to study at the finest universities and command the army as they marched into battle and dutifully marry whichever pretty girl his father deemed worthy. But he didn't want to study for the rest of his life, he had no idea how to command an army and much preferred to leave that up to the military men who had trained for that sort of thing, and he had absolutely no interest in whatever pretty girl his father would come up with because he wasn't interested in pretty girls at all. The pretty boys at court, however...but that didn't matter, because Bobby didn't get to make that decision. The Crown Prince couldn't possibly be gay because he had to provide heirs for the next generation and secure the line of succession, blah, blah, blah. He'd heard the speech enough from his father that he didn't even want to think about it. Christmas was the next day and therefore he had been showered with gifts. The gifts had arrived throughout the day and then left underneath the heavily decorated tree that adorned part of his chambers. He had no interest in any of them, but it would be too suspicious to not have opened them by the next morning, so he sent his attendants away for the evening and sat down on the floor in front of the tree, reaching for the first present he saw. He tore the wrapping paper off and looked at the book for a moment before setting it to the side, and he continued in this machine-like state until he picked up a present that was nothing like any of the presents he'd already received. The box was covered in newspaper, not wrapping paper, and held together with duct tape. He laughed just at the look of it, flipping it around in his hands for a moment before reaching for the tag that accompanied it to see who had sent him such a strangely wrapped gift.
To Your Royal Highness, from John.
Bobby frowned at that, his mind searching through everyone he knew at court and coming up empty. Who on earth was John? He pondered that some more before sliding his finger underneath one of the flaps and ripping the newspaper. It took him a moment to get the newspaper completely off because of the duct tape, then he was staring at a beautiful wooden box. He ran his fingers over the smooth top before opening it, finding a bunch of folded up pieces of paper inside. He reached for the one on top and opened it up, eyes scanning the writing on the paper.
I know I shouldn't say this, but you're the most beautiful man I've ever seen.
Bobby's breath caught in his throat and he quickly reached for another.
You always look so lonely and I wish I could do something about that.
Followed by I wonder if you're truly happy, because when you smile it doesn't reach your eyes.And then I'm pretty sure that I am the only one who has noticed the way your eyes dance across the men in the room instead of the women.Paper after paper came out of the box, each one of them making it harder and harder for Bobby to breathe. He swallowed hard when he got to the one at the bottom, carefully unfolding the paper and reading it.
I wish I could get to know you because from what I do know about you, I'm already in love. I'd like to think that you could love me too. And I say all of this knowing that it can never be. But I thought you deserved to know that there is someone out there who loves you the way you are.
Bobby stared at the paper for a moment before taking a deep breath. He needed to know who John was more now than before and he had no idea how to go about finding that out that wouldn't be too suspicious. He stared at the papers on the floor next to him for a moment before gathering them up. He looked back at the box before setting the box to the side and standing, walking into his bedroom and pulling open the drawer of the bedside table. He took everything out of it and then popped open the false bottom, setting the papers inside with all the other things he wished for no one to see. He replaced the bottom and then put the stuff back inside, making his way back to the tree and sitting down again. He resumed opening his presents, all the while wondering who John was and how he could find out.
**********
Christmas Day at court was every bit as boring as it was every year, but this year Bobby had a new game to play. Every year he came up with some sort of game to entertain himself, and while this year's was supposed to be determining which of the ladies was wearing the most absurd jewelry, he was far more focused on trying to figure out who John was. His eyes danced over every man in the room, names rattling through his head at the sight of every one of them. He scanned the room ten times before he allowed himself to believe that he knew who every single man in the room was and none of them were named John. To say that he was disappointed would be an understatement.When the celebrations reached a point where he could escape for a while, Bobby did just that, leaving the great hall and wandering the corridors of the palace. Guards were stationed every once and a while and they all bowed appropriately, and Bobby had never wanted to be one of his subjects more in his life. He pulled his phone out of its hiding place among his clothes after a while, and it was while he was concentrating on the Twitter wishes that millions of people had sent to his official account that he walked straight into someone. He looked up to apologize and found himself staring at a man he'd never seen before.A gorgeous man he'd never seen before.“I'm so sorry, Your Royal Highness,” was out of the man's mouth before Bobby could say anything. “I didn't see you.”Bobby just shook his head. “I didn't see you either. In fact, I don't think I've ever seen you before.”The man stepped back and nodded. “I tend to avoid the banquets and celebrations unless absolutely necessary. I was about to go pay my respects to the King and Queen and then quickly leave.”“Lucky,” was out of Bobby's mouth before he could stop it. “I have to sit there for hours.”“You aren't sitting there now,” the man pointed out.“Because this is about the only fifteen minutes I'll get to myself for the next week,” Bobby said, unsure of why he was saying all of this to this man he'd just met.“Then I shall leave you to yourself,” the man said. “My apologies once again.”“Don't worry about it,” Bobby said as the man walked around him. He turned and reached out, grabbing the man by the arm before he could get too far. “You didn't introduce yourself.”“My apologies yet again, Your Royal Highness,” the man said, bowing his head. “My name is John Allerdyce.”Only years of training kept Bobby from showing the shock that he felt. “Then I will see you around, John.”John looked up and smiled at him. “I look forward to that.”Bobby let go of his arm and smiled back. “As do I.”John turned and walked away, and Bobby resumed his lap of the palace, unable to keep himself from thinking that John was the most beautiful man he'd ever seen.
**********
Bobby learned more about John over the following week and every piece of information made him more fascinated. John was the foster son of one of his father's most trusted advisers and, while he did not have the title or style of his foster family, his father had admitted him into court nonetheless. John had the reputation for being more into books and his writing than any of the girls at court, but that hadn't stopped the girls from trying anyway. He was mysterious and aloof, and Bobby was quite certain after the gift John had given him that he was the only one who knew the real reason why.Bobby tried for days to think of a reason to get John alone, but before he could think of one, his father presented him with an opportunity. John's foster father had suggested that John perhaps become Bobby's speechwriter and Bobby's father had thought that would be best because Bobby's speeches did not always go the way his father wanted them to. Bobby wanted to protest and say his speeches were just fine because they conveyed what he actually thought and felt instead of his father's ideals, but the chance to spend time alone with John was too much of a temptation for him to actually fight this. So starting in mid-January, John began work as Bobby's speechwriter. Bobby sent all of his attendants away any time John was there and they worked closely together on how to express Bobby's opinion without going against his father's ideals too much. Bobby's list of engagements grew and that meant so did his number of speeches, and soon John was there every day, traveling the country with Bobby and spending long hours perfecting speeches for the next day's event. They grew to be tremendously close friends but it never went beyond that. John never asked about the gift that he had given and Bobby never mentioned the gift that he had received. But it was becoming increasingly difficult for Bobby to be around John without wanting to pin him up against the nearest flat surface and have his way with him. Bobby wanted nothing more in the world than to be able to tell John that he had been right, that Bobby was able to love him back, but he kept things to himself. As Christmas rolled around again, Bobby had decided he was just going to be happy that he got to be around John as much as he did.Then he found another box wrapped in newspaper and duct tape underneath the tree in his chambers on Christmas Eve. He tore into it and opened a wooden box similar to the one he'd received the year before, finding folded up pieces of paper just like last time. He smiled as he reached for the first one, opening it up and beginning to read.
Really knowing you is better than I thought it would be.
Followed by It warms my heart every time you share a piece of yourself with me that you say you've never told anyone before.
And then There are moments where I think I might die if I don't kiss you but I know that I can't.
On and on and on until finally I know sending you these notes is highly inappropriate, but there are times when I think that maybe, maybe, maybe you might feel the same way, so I am sending them anyway. You're perfect. I'm in love with you. And I don't think that's going to change.
Bobby sat there for a while thinking about everything that John had written before standing up and walking out of his chambers. He stopped the nearest attendant he could find and asked them to please get John and bring him to Bobby's chambers because Bobby had an urgent matter to discuss with him. The attendant, one Bobby had never seen before, nodded before walking away, and Bobby returned to his chambers and waited.
There was a knock at the door about ten minutes later, and, after Bobby called out to give the person permission to enter, John walked in. He was out of court dress, wearing only a t-shirt and jeans, no shoes, and a sad look across his face. John refused to meet his gaze, keeping his eyes trained on the floor beneath him. “You wished to see me, Your Royal Highness?”
“John,” Bobby said. “I want you to tell me what's made you so sad."
John's gaze rose slightly at that. “I assumed this was about my gift."
“It is,” Bobby agreed.
“And so, therefore, you will understand why I am sad that I am about to be cast out of your presence for good.”
Bobby took a deep breath. “If you think I'm going to do that then you don't know me at all.”
John's gaze lifted completely this time and his eyes met Bobby's. “I'm sorry, Your Royal Highness?”
“Bobby,” he said. “If we're going to do this, I want you to call me Bobby.”
John swallowed hard. “Do this?”
Bobby had no idea how to convey what he wanted with words, so instead, he just walked over to John and pulled him into a kiss. John kissed him back immediately, deepening the kiss the moment he got the chance to, and Bobby practically melted in his arms. They kissed until they were breathless and then they kissed again, repeating the process until John broke them apart and stared at Bobby with wild eyes.
“What the hell is going on?”
“I love you,” Bobby said quickly. “I love you more than anything. And I need to be with you. I cannot be without you.”
John stood there as those words sunk in, and before Bobby could freak out about the fact that he wasn't saying anything, John broke out into a smile. “I never thought I would ever hear you say that.”
“I never thought I'd get a chance to,” Bobby said seriously. “But your words, they made me want to throw common sense out the window.”
John took a deep breath. “This is going to require a lot of sneaking around.”
“Only until my father dies,” Bobby said. “I decided a long time ago that after that I wouldn't hide who I truly am."
“That still means we're going to sneak around for a long time.”
“No,” Bobby said, shaking his head. “We're not.”
John studied him for a moment. “You're not doing something truly medieval like having your father killed so you can assume the throne, are you?”
Bobby just rolled his eyes. “No, of course not. But I do know things that you do not.”
“Such as?”
“His cancer is back,” Bobby said softly. “Much more aggressively than the last time. Doctors suggested possible treatments but said it would only prolong the inevitable for a short time. He's decided to refuse treatment.”
John stood there as the meaning of those words went through his head, then he was pulling Bobby into his arms and kissing him softly. “I'm so sorry.”
“I wish I was,” Bobby murmured, settling his head on John's shoulder. “He was convinced he was going to marry me off to the Canadian Queen's eldest daughter before he dies but I've told him that I'm perfectly capable of finding a wife for myself and Ronny once he is gone. My mother backed me up on that so he agreed.”
“Your mother and brother aren't going to take the truth very well, are they?”
“My mother will be shocked and probably never speak to me again. My brother, I don't know. He is much more progressive than my parents, like me. Whether that is progressive enough to deal with this, I'm not sure. He'll probably just assume that his descendants are going to be the ones inheriting the throne from me, but I have plans to avoid that.”
“Oh really? And what are these plans?”
“All my heirs need is for me to be their biological father. The laws of the royal house say nothing about their mother. A surrogate could easily give birth to my child and I would have an heir.”
John laughed. “You're already making us parents.”
“We'll need to be down the road. I do need heirs.”
“Wouldn't you need to be married for that?”
“I plan to be.”
“Now you're making us married and parents.”
Bobby pulled back. “Is that something you'd not be interested in?”
John kissed him in response. “I would love that someday but I need some time before all of that to make sure that this is really going to work. I mean, you're not going to be the only one giving up a lot for this to work.”
Bobby gave him an apologetic look. “I didn't even think about that. How do you think...”
John heard Bobby trail off and decided it was time to speak. “I'll be cast out of the family that has taken me in. That I know for sure. I'll be scrutinized in every newspaper and on every television station in the country, if not the world. How could I possibly be good enough for King Robert the Third? And I'm sure there will be other ramifications as well.”
“Do you think it'll be worth it?” Bobby asked quietly. “Do you think I'm worth it?”
John pulled him into a deep kiss. “You're worth everything in my eyes. I've wanted this for so long. It took me a very long time to gather up the courage to send that first box of notes. Even then I never thought I'd actually get this.”
“I'm so glad you did.”
“Me too,” John said softly. “I should probably get back to my room.”
“Stay,” Bobby said quickly.
“You know that's a bad idea.”
“I also know that we can just tell people that we were working on my New Year's speech.”
“We've had that locked for four days."
“And we're the only ones who know that,” Bobby said. “Please stay.”
John swallowed hard. “Your attendants will find me here in the morning.”
“Then we'll get dressed again before they get here,” Bobby said softly. “Please.”
John swallowed hard again. “I, um, I've never done that before.”
“Neither have I,” Bobby murmured. “But I want to more than anything.”
John took a deep breath and pulled Bobby into his arms, kissing him soundly. “We probably don't have the right supplies.”
“We definitely don't,” Bobby said, kissing him again. “But I bet we can think of other things to do until we do.”
“I'm sure you're right,” John said, bending to trail kisses down Bobby's neck. “I've wanted to touch you for so long.”
“Bed,” Bobby said. “We need to move to the bed.”
John pulled back and nodded. “Lead the way. I've never been in your bedroom.”
Bobby grabbed him by the hand and grinned. “Well, you're just going to have to get accustomed to being there.”
“We're really going to have to be careful,” John said.
“We'll worry about that later. Right now, let's just start Christmas off right.”
John laughed as they headed out of the room. “Merry Christmas, then.”
“Merry Christmas to you too.”