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new york to seoul and back to new york.sooyeon finds it hard to know where to call home anymore.a strange feeling settles in her stomach knowing she’s returning to korea again soon.something’s not right but she just doesn’t know what it is. she’s on edge, nervous.sad.it’s not the kind of sadness that’s like a stab to the chest but rather a quiet lingering kind of sadness.one that lurks as you go about your day even though you’re miserable. a lonely ache. her phone buzzes on the table and without so much as a glance knows she doesn’t want to answer it. her manager, probably, comments from netizens, definitely.sometimes sooyeon wonders why she even bothers.another notification, her coffee is getting cold.she doesn’t know why but the urge to cry takes over. a strangled sob escapes her chest before she can stop it. sooyeon closes her eyes, trying to compose herself.
this is not the place
“can I get you anything else miss?”oh. her cup is empty.sooyeon doesn’t understand the waiter’s confused look until she realised somehow, she ordered in korean. she promptly switches to english, the syllables uncomfortably heavy in her mouth.an awkward smile and apology later sooyeon sits with another black coffee in front of her. she caved and asked for one of the macarons prettily displayed in the glass case near the door.she opens instagram, hundreds of notifications coming in, more tags in photos that she ignores; instead opening her camera.
“coffee break!”
upload to story.ignore notifications again. sooyeon immediately regrets the macaron as she takes a bite, it’s too sweet, the sugar catches in her throat. another sip of americano.a shadow casts over the opposite side of the table and a chair screeches against the floor.“hiding again sica?”“ah”she doesn’t even need to look up to recognise that voice. “yes you can sit by the way.”sarcasm.“oh thaaank you sica unnie, how gracious of you” the newcomer snorts. “I missed you too ya know.”choosing to ignore that comment she gestures to the half-eaten macaron. “do you want the rest of that?”“thank you~” she takes a bite. “oooooh strawberry!” “you’re heading to seoul again soon right?” inquisitive eyes look up from the floral plate. there are crumbs on her lips. cute. sooyeon wants to kiss them off her face.“yeah. soojung is already there.”“how is soojungie? I haven’t seen her in so long” she drawls.“she’s herself, nothing new.” but you already knew that right.suddenly there’s a shift in the atmosphere, she furrows her brows. it’s unusual, sooyeon thinks, to see that look on her face. she doesn’t like it.“I wasn’t lying you know, when I said I missed you.”
I know. you’re always so honest.
“w-well it has been a while.”sooyeon can feel her cheeks heat up. it’s strange, that earnest voice, so sincere.
how can someone be so frank about their feelings?
“sica, I” a sigh. “I know you asked for some time, and I understand it’s hard for you but.” a pause.“I get it. you’re hurting too.”there’s a look of surprise from across the table.“no no no I-”“will you come with me? back to seoul I mean.”sooyeon’s heart is hammering inside her chest. I can’t believe I just-“you mean it?” the voice is quieter now, almost meek. very strange.a nod.a grin breaks across her face, squealing in happiness.
you know what I mean.
sooyeon looks at the figure sitting across from her and can’t help but feel warm. it’s been a while since she’s seen that almost blinding smile in person. her joy has always been contagious really.it’s like coming home.