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Sonic had a secret. A secret that meant so much that he wouldn’t tell it to a soul. Many of the smashers in Smash Mansion had tried and failed to figure out, surprisingly. The only other person who knew of this secret was Tails, obviously. Many had tried to ask the kitsune, only to get no response. He wouldn’t say a word and kept his mouth shut until the person left. That was until Akira and Ryuji had had enough of this mystery.
Both boys sat down inside Akira’s room, with Kirby and Pikachu sleeping soundly on a pillow next to them. In between the two was a map of Sonic’s room, including where things were. Akira had managed to obtain this information by asking Kirby to go in. The pink creature had no idea how to get Sonic to heed his wishes, so he, in turn, asked Pikachu to do the job. The pokemon agreed with no issues, obtaining the information and drawing on the paper. The drawing wasn’t well done per se, but it was good enough for the squad.
“So over here is where he keeps pictures of his friends and here is where he keeps all his socks, and over here…” Akira pointed to a wall in the room. “Is where the secret thing is. According to Pikachu, there seems to be some sort of trigger in this area. I think that’s where the secret is.”
“Are you sure?” Ryuji asked, filled with curiosity and suspense. Akira nodded confidently. The two analyzed the map again, making sure to mark places that were unnecessary to visit. It didn’t take long for them to begin their search. The other smashers paid no mind to the boys and their companions, which made their job a lot more easier. As they neared Sonic’s room, they sent Pikachu to go see if anyone was inside.
The pokemon walked over to the door and knocked. Once. Twice. Three times. No response. They all nodded and got to work, with Akira picking the lock. Both boys quietly cheered when the door opened. Ryuji entered in first, looking around and narrowing his eyes for no reason. He then gestured for the others to follow. Akira almost threw up at the rancid stench of unwashed socks in the corner of the room.
“Does this guy not know about hygiene? Those socks smell like they’ve been there for weeks.” he murmured, cringing at the pile. Pikachu let out an F to pay respects to the torture of Akira’s nostrils. No one even questioned it since he was paying respects. They walked carefully, doing their best not to disturb anything that laid on the floor. Kirby gazed sadly at the room, wondering how he had better hygiene than a furry. Wait- nevermind he’s a furry. It all makes sense now.
The squad made it to the wall where the secret chamber lay. All four of the smashers went to work, feeling the walls for some sort of switch. It took them quite a while, each one of them growing more anxious as time passed. Luckily, it was Pikachu who managed to find it by rubbing at an out of place paint mark on the wall.
The door squeaked as it opened. All of them cringed at the sound, whipping their heads around to look at the door as if anticipating Sonic to burst in. They all let out a sigh in relief when it didn’t happen and pressed on to search the room. Akira collapsed as soon as his eyes laid on a recognizable costume. Ryuji let out a squeak when he saw a black wig with pigtails. Pikachu cried quietly when he opened the closet and found it full of different cosplays.
All four of them paled when they heard the door open. They ran into the closet of cosplay and squeezed themselves into it, with Akira screaming internally as he closed it as much as he could. There was a slit in the door, just big enough for them all to see what’s going on. They quieted their breathing and hushed each other as soon as they heard a voice.
“Damn, did I forget to close it? Shit... “ Ryuji almost screamed at listening to his childhood icon swear.
“At least no one went in…” Sonic mumbled as he walked in. The hedgehog grabbed a spray can from the other side of the room and sprayed it all over himself, colouring his fur black. The chaotic group watched on in the closet, confused at what was happening. Akira almost choked on his spit as he watched Sonic put on the cheerleader like costume. Pikachu closed his eyes once the wig was placed on, not wanting to believe what he was seeing.
“Is he actually?...” Ryuji whispered.
“He may be…” Akira whispered back. The two covered Pikachu’s and Kirby’s eyes, moving them so that they would be behind the two. Pikachu and Kirby whined in protest only to be shushed aggressively. Sonic whipped his head towards their direction, eyes narrowing as he stared. The four hid deeper in the closet, hoping the hedgie wouldn’t come and investigate.
“I must be going crazy…” Sonic mumbled to himself, going back to dressing up. Ryuji and Akira made it their priority to take up space, making sure not to let Kirby and Pikachu see. Ryuji almost gagged when he saw his hero putting on the skirt.
Sonic turned on the camera and smiled at it, showing it a peace sign.
“Hey, guys! It’s lovely to see you all again!” He said in a very high pitched voice. Akira gasped quietly. Ryuji wept.
“This has been requested a lot out of you so I might as well do what you guys want!” Sonic giggled, summoning a blush to his cheeks. Soon a familiar tune began to play and all four smashers in the closet almost died right then and there.
“Hit or miss- I guess they never miss huh,” Sonic stuck out his leg, showing off his thigh highs. Akira couldn’t fucking believe it and neither could Ryuji.
“You got a boyfriend I bet he doesn’t kiss ya, mwah!” Sonic puckered his lipstick clad lips at the camera. Ryuji was so close to screaming.
“He gon find another girl and he won’t miss ya!” Sonic twerked and fortnite danced. At this point Akira was also crying, his body burning with cringe.
“He gon skrrt and hit the dab like Wiz Khalifa!” Sonic dabbed. It wasn’t even a good dab. It was a white man’s dab. Ryuji lost it. As soon as Sonic had turned off the camera, Akira grabbed Pikachu and Kirby as he was grabbed by Ryuji. Ryuji broke through the closet door, causing Sonic to scream and fall as Ryuji made his way out of the room as fast as he could. He carried his boyfriend and their adopted children as he made his way through the halls of the mansion.
Sonic recovered and watched them go, debating whether or not he should stop them.
“If they let this information out, I’ll be embarrassed for weeks… but then again…” Sonic decided he would go to their room later on in the day instead. Hopefully, they would act as if nothing had happened…
“MOTHER OF GOD MY FUCKING EYES!” Ryuji screamed as he wept, slamming his head into the bed over and over.
“Jesus Ryuji watch your language! There are children here!” Akira shouted, covering the ears of Pikachu and Kirby. Both creatures were stuck in a limbo, not knowing what to do with them.
“People pay him to do… whatever that godforsaken shit was!” Ryuji shouted back, causing Akira to shush him again. All for them remained in the room for weeks, only getting up to get food just to eat it in their room. Other smashers got worried, but the worry died away once they slowly began to rejoin smash society as if nothing ever happened. They all panicked when Sonic walked up to them one day.
“Hey guys…” Sonic waved awkwardly. Akira and Ryuji looked at Sonic. Then at each other. Then back at Sonic. In a strange synchronized voice, they responded,
“
Hit or Miss…
”