Work Text
There were six movies in total that Wong Yukhei could recite almost verbatim. Five of them were romantic comedies. The sixth was
Captain America: The Winter Soldier.
He wasn’t ashamed by that admission. In fact, the first time he participated in elementary school Show ‘n Tell, he performed an adorably dramatic monologue from
A Walk to Remember
. His teacher cried. His classmates wished he had brought a turtle like Ji-ho.
His extensive knowledge of romantic films came from his mother, who maintained an astounding collection of movies in literally every format, including, as of recently, film projection. His father muttered that it was a spectacular waste of money just before his mother reminded him that it was
her
money to spend however she wished. There was no further comment from either.
To her credit, she was committed to putting the film projector to good use. For instance, the night before Yukhei was set to make the long trip to his university for his second year, both him and his mother were in their pajamas and tucked under a light fleece blanket while they watched
Love, Actually
in his childhood basement.
“Your auntie says that you can only watch this movie during Christmas, but I disagree,” his mother whispered almost scandalously while keeping her eyes trained on Liam Neeson.“What are you going to do when I’m at school,” Yukhei joked as he dug his large hand into the bowl of buttery popcorn. “There’s no way Pop is going to watch this stuff with you.”
“I will enjoy my movies alone, just like I did long before you and your father and just like I’ll continue to do long after,” she responded resolutely, taking a sip from her steadily cooling tea. “And I’ll have you know, your father does indulge me every once in a while and watches with me, without comment. Valentine’s Day, my birthday, some date nights, even. He talks a big game, but he likes
In the Mood for Love
and
Romeo + Juliet
.”
Yukhei’s eyebrows jutted upward in surprise. “Really? What about, ‘These movies are hogwash, Preeda?’” he mocked with a faux deep voice. “Or, ‘They promote-’”
“‘-unrealistic expectations of men, simplistic views of love and family and blah blah blah blah,’” she finished with a roll of her eyes while flapping her fingers to simulate a talking mouth. “Whatever, he likes that wild
Romeo + Juliet
movie and don’t let him tell you anything different.”
They both laughed raucously, confident that their particular location in the house would swallow their loud voices before disturbing anyone in the late night. Once they settled down, neither registered that the scene projected on the wall had changed. A few moments of silence passed before Yukhei spoke again.“Do you believe any of that?” He pivoted his body just slightly to face her. “That this stuff is just fantasy?”The petite woman tilted her head until her messy bun flopped to the side. She thought for a moment before answering. “I do think they’re incomplete. Not fantasy, per se. Everything just...ends before the real work starts. But that’s understandable, though. Nobody wants to watch a movie where the couple argues over finances, or nearly call off their marriage before their son turns two.”“Did that happen to you and Pop?”She chuckled. “Oh, definitely. Marriage is hard work. You hear it all the time, but you don’t know until you’re actually neck deep in it. Those first five years? We might as well have been wearing army fatigues.”Yukhei had a hard time reconciling the image of his parents as opposing figures with the sappy image they are these days. “But you two are good now, right?”Preeda reached over and squeezed Yukhei’s knee through the thin blanket. “I dare anyone and anything to even think about coming between us.”At that, Yukhei exhaled, “Good.”“But you know what I love so much about romantic films, books, art, all of it?” She leaned forward like she was telling her deepest secret, which, Yukhei considered, she might actually have been. “I love that somebody wrote this stuff. All that sappy, tear-jerky, tooth-rotting sweetness that we may or may not ever get the chance to hear in our own lives...somebody actually sat down and made that. That means it exists in some of us - maybe all of us. And we have the power to inspire that in someone else. All the hard stuff that follows, you deal with that when it comes. But for that one truly lovely moment, you both create something so beautiful. Your love makes the world that much more worthwhile. That drives out some of the ugliness, even for a little bit.”For a moment, Yukhei simply stared at the woman before him. She’d never spoken to him so openly before. He wanted to stay up all night, getting to know her in this whole new context.But it was getting late, and her large doe-like eyes quickly went from pensive to sleepy. He guessed that they would only make it three-fifths through the film before he had to carry her to bed.“Are you sure you’re not upset with us for not being able to accompany you to school tomorrow?”The sudden change of subject caught him off guard for a moment before he quickly replied, “Mom, it’s my second year, not my first. It’s okay, I promise. Work is important.”“And you’ll call me if anything is wrong? Anything at all, Yukhei,” she emphasized. “I know calling every day isn’t all that realistic - ““Mother -”
“ - but that doesn’t mean you can just keep things bottled up and to yourself,” she persisted. “Call me and me
first
, Xuxi. Don’t make me threaten it out of Jungwoo like I sometimes have to.”
He couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped from his lips at the mention of his best friend. Jungwoo may have been a fiercely loyal confidant, but he was no match for Preeda. And he understood that when she said the word “threaten” that it wasn’t as hyperbolic as others might assume.“I’ll call you, I promise,” he said quietly with a small pat on her raised knee.“Good,” she nodded, seemingly satisfied. “Okay, now hush. This is my favorite part.”
WHEN YUKHEI MET JUNGWOO
When he was seven years old, Yukhei came face-to-face with the school bully. He doesn’t remember much about him beyond that fact that his hair was always kept longer than it should have been.
That, and he had a particular
fascination with the mousy-voiced kid who sat in the back. Seeing this bully - obviously taller, bulkier for his age - go after the quietest student in their class never sat well with Yukhei. One day after lunch he made the brave decision to intervene.
During recess, Yukhei stepped up to the long-haired boy and began to tell him in no uncertain terms that he could not pick on The Quiet Boy any longer.
“He’s nice! Leave him alone!”
“Or what,” the young fighter challenged after spitting on the ground for show. “You’ll fight me?”
“
I’ll
fight you!”
They both turned to find the mousy-voiced boy standing behind them with a crushed juice box in his hand. “Just leave me alone!”
The bully laughed. “You can’t beat me up! You’re a scrawny chicken wing!”
Yukhei didn’t quite understand that insult, as the boy actually looked pretty average-sized, but he chose to devote his attention to more pressing matters.
“Well, I’ll help him,” Yukhei promised. “So be nice!”
The boy, who slightly towered over the both of them, rounded on Yukhei and began to charge. That’s when the quiet boy threw down his juice box, ran after the bully and tripped him without a second thought. As soon as he hit the ground, Yukhei pointed and laughed, drawing the attention of the entire playground, including the teachers.
Before long, all three boys were sitting outside of the principal’s office. Only the slightly dirtied bully looked worried.
“My name is Jungwoo,” the quiet boy said. “You’re Yukhei, right?”
“How did you know,” Yukhei asked, his voice full of wonder.
“Miss Na is always telling you to quiet down,” Jungwoo responded, barely hiding a smile.
Yukhei felt only slightly defensive while knowing somehow that Jungwoo wasn’t trying to be mean. “Well, Miss Na is always telling you to speak up!”
Jungwoo sighed. “Maybe you can help me speak louder?”
“And maybe you can help me find my indoor voice.”
***
“And that’s when you begged me to be your best friend,” Yukhei recounted in the middle of the roadside diner, punctuating his conclusion to the story with a bite of his french fry.Jungwoo sat back and ran a hand through his chestnut hair, looking visibly aghast. “You are getting far too comfortable with these lies for my liking, Xuxi.”Laughing, Yukhei shrugged. “Well, the subtext was there, I think. Either way, I clearly wanted you to be my best friend, too. We’ve been bugging each other ever since.”“We have,” Jungwoo nodded thoughtfully. “Speaking of bugging people, make sure you text your mom.”“Did she threaten you again? She told me last night that she was willing to.”The mention of Yukhei’s mother sent a visible shiver down Jungwoo’s spine. He knew firsthand of both her love and her bite. “Not this time, no. But please do it before she does.”“Texting her now.” Yukhei lifted himself off of his seat far enough to fish his phone out of his back pocket. “Hey, shouldn’t you be texting Myung-soo?”Jungwoo dragged a fry through the remaining dregs of ketchup on his plate. “I did already...when I let him know that I wanted to break up.”Yukhei snapped his head upward, eyes the size of saucers. “Jungwoo, what the hell?”“I know.”
“He cherished the ground you walked on,” Yukhei pressed on. “Like...for a second there I thought he might have liked you more than
me
, and we both know that’s pushing it.”
“I
know
.”
“So...what happened?”
Rolling his eyes, Jungwoo dropped the red-stained fry on the plate. “Did something
had
to have happened for me to just not want to be with someone anymore?”
“For you? Yes, Mr. Sentimental,” Yukhei countered with a sip of his drink, making Jungwoo laugh out loud.“Oh, you’re one to talk, King of Romance.”Yukhei shrugged once more. “I’m just saying, there had to be something. You never complain about him.”“Yeah, because I never talk about him,” Jungwoo said crossing his arms over his chest. “Think about it.”He didn’t have to. Yukhei knew that Jungwoo was right. The last time they spoke about the doting Myung-soo was before summer vacation. Jungwoo may have mentioned him in passing during their time together, but nothing in particular stood out.“Was there a catalyst, at least?” Yukhei wasn’t sure if he needed to know details as much as he just needed to be assured that Jungwoo hadn’t been hurt in any way.At the question, Jungwoo scrunched his nose. “You’ll laugh.”“I probably will.”Jungwoo groaned, then covered his face. “Ugh. Okay, so...whenever we kissed...he moaned. Like, loudly.”Yukhei squinted with curiosity. “He moaned?”“Moaned.”“Isn’t that hot?”“Sometimes, but you know...context. Like, a peck on the lips between classes doesn’t call for a moan. It was obscene.”As promised, Yukhei laughed. “Woo, is that it? Did you ever talk to him about it?”It was Jungwoo’s turn to shrug. “Didn’t see a point.”“Okay, so you have to know that’s a dumb reason to end a relationship,” Yukhei reasoned.Jungwoo nodded. “Of course it is. And the fact that I was willing to let him go over something so silly told me everything that I needed to know.”That, Yukhei found, was hard to argue. “As long as he didn’t break your heart, I guess.”“Settle, Thor,” Jungwoo teased. “I’m okay, I promise.”At that, Yukhei decided to let the issue go - for the most part.“So how did he sound? Are we talking a full on bedroom moan?”“I’m not going to dissect his moaning for you, Xuxi. That’s so weird.”
“Oh, I’ve gotta know,” Yukhei insisted with a big smile. “Was it like …
unnnnnnngh
…”
Mortified, Jungwoo immediately looked around the restaurant to make sure nobody was paying attention. “Yukhei, you sound
so
gross, please don’t!”
“Or was it like an
oooooooooh…”
“People are starting to stare, Wong Yukhei.”“Let ‘em. I’m asking for science.”
LOVE (OR SOMETHING LIKE IT) & BASKETBALL
“What am I doing wrong? Specifically?”“Woo, I don’t know what to tell you,” Yukhei sighed as he wiped his sweaty face with his tank top. “Just...do it better.” The night was way too balmy for his liking and he wished they were inside, playing video games or even studying. Instead, Yukhei was trying to transfer all of his basketball knowledge to Jungwoo.Why? Because of Daniel.Daniel had already expressed interest in Jungwoo. Yukhei felt like the added basketball lessons weren’t necessary for a number of reasons - chief among those reasons being that Daniel made his stomach churn in a way that he couldn’t quite articulate.He was nice. His smile could cure the gravest of illnesses. He knew four languages - five, if you counted Klingon. Still, a churning feeling persisted every time he looked his or Jungwoo’s way.Being the friend that he was, Yukhei kept that much to himself. Because when Jungwoo made the rare choice to pursue a crush, he wanted to make sure he was supportive more than anything.“‘Do it better?’ Weren’t you the captain of the basketball team in high school?” Jungwoo let the ball slip out of his hand in favor of resting his balled fists on his hips.“That’s a silly question. You were at every game.” Yukhei didn’t bother to hide the smirk.“Okay, so surely you picked something up,” Jungwoo pressed, lunging for the ball. “Some nugget of wisdom. All I’m asking is that you pass just a little of that on to me so that I don’t make an ass of myself this weekend.”Jungwoo bounced the ball to Yukhei, who caught it one-handed with enviable ease. “There’s no way you’re going to become a basketball star in four days. Why didn’t you offer to play soccer? You’re an excellent soccer player.”“Because he plays basketball,” Jungwoo answered simplistically, as if that clarified everything.At that, Yukhei placed the ball on the court concrete and sat on it with a groan. He looked up at Jungwoo with a firm gaze. “You know how I feel about changing yourself for boys.”
“Xuxi, I’m
not…”
Jungwoo sighed and sat down before Yukhei, legs criss-crossed. “Look. Everyone adjusts a little for the people they like. Or did you forget that you joined the school musical just to get closer to Lisa and made me practice
all
the music with you, around the clock?”
“I was thirteen, Jungwoo, and nothing ended up happening with Lisa,” Yukhei rebutted. “Besides, I was actually pretty good, right?”“Or how you pretended to like vegan food for Jongin,” Jungwoo continued. “Our dorm room smelled terrible for almost a week after one of your abominations.”Yukhei did remember the year before very vividly. Jungwoo helped him look for recipes at three in the morning. Unlike Lisa, Jongin actually stuck around for almost ten months before Yukhei called it quits.“I just don’t think you have to do all this, that’s all,” Yukhei said gently. “You’re already…”He wanted to say “perfect” just then. He wasn’t sure why he stopped himself.“I’m great, I know,” Jungwoo nearly whispered, almost mischievously. “I promise that I’ll remain the same, pristine Kim Jungwoo you’ve known since grade school. I just want to connect with Daniel on this one thing, just to get things started. That’s all.”They stared at each other with different energy: Yukhei gazed at Jungwoo with worry, Jungwoo returned the gaze with unspoken reassurance.Ultimately, Yukhei was the one to cave. “You promise you won’t become unrecognizable to me?”In response, Jungwoo presented an outstretched pinky, which Yukhei linked with his own. They sealed the gesture with a kiss of their thumbs, their pinkies still conjoined. It was a silly ritual that they maintained since childhood, but they regarded it as seriously as any iron-clad contract. At that, Yukhei stood to his feet and pulled Jungwoo up immediately after.
“You’re using too much force to launch the ball,” Yukhei explained as he handed Jungwoo the ball. He turned the now-blond around and positioned him directly in front of the hoop. “You need to guide the ball with your wrist, not your elbows. That’s why you keep catapulting it halfway across the park.”
He stood behind Jungwoo and gently positioned his ball-carrying arm, careful to adjust his wrist just so. He failed to notice the way his thumb gently grazed Jungwoo’s palm, back and forth. “Use your forearm as sort of a guide to align your shot,” Yukhei directed with a low voice, close to Jungwoo’s ear. From here he could smell a mix of Jungwoo’s lavender shampoo and just a touch of sweat. He didn’t hate it. “Then lift just so while your wrist does the work. And remember to breathe.”Once he felt like Jungwoo was properly in place, Yukhei took a step back, almost reluctantly. Seconds passed before Jungwoo attempted to move. With a small jump, Jungwoo followed Yukhei’s instruction and shot the ball, careful to rely more on his wrist.The ball bounced back on forth on the rim before teetering into the net. Jungwoo turned around with an expression that emoted absolute bliss. He unleashed a radiant smile, which as of lately became Yukhei’s slow undoing.“Victory,” Jungwoo sighed proudly as he stepped towards Yukhei and threw his arms around his neck. Without hesitation, Yukhei gathered Jungwoo in a bear hug, smiling fondly.“Amazing, Woo,” Yukhei praised, voice low.“You’re the best, Xuxi,” Jungwoo whispered.
“He’s gonna adore you whether you shoot two hundred baskets or just two,” Yukhei assured as he swayed the both of them in a circle. “It’s...
impossible
not to.”
WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Yukhei’s not sure how they ended the biggest night of their university career on the couch, watching
The Greatest Showman
. It felt oddly fitting, though.
They had walked the graduation stage, they had endured the wonderfully suffocating embraces of both of their parents, eaten more than they could ever comfortably stomach, and partied with almost every friend they had made over their four years of academia. Truthfully, they should be in their beds.But when the apartment cleared, Jungwoo made a passing suggestion to watch a movie. And there was no way Yukhei would ever turn down some quiet quality time with the greatest person he knew. These days, alone time with Jungwoo was a rare, precious commodity. If Daniel were a boyfriend of any true quality, Yukhei concluded, then a movie wouldn’t even be possible.Unfortunately, Daniel had more pressing matters than something as ho-hum as his boyfriend graduating from college with honors.“He should be here, Woo,” Yukhei found himself saying very suddenly to Jungwoo, whose head rested in his lap.If the declaration caught Jungwoo by surprise at all, he didn’t show it. His eyes remained trained on the screen. “I told you, he had a gig.”“A gig at a nothing bar, with a band that he leads. A gig that he could have rescheduled for any other time. The next day, even.”“I know you don’t like him, Xuxi.”“I don’t,” Yukhei agreed readily. “I don’t think I ever have, and this certainly isn’t helping.”“I thought you wanted to watch the movie with me,” Jungwoo challenged with a yawn.“Of course I do,” Yukhei cooed. “I’m just saying. This is one of the biggest nights of our lives. And for you to graduate with honors? He should be here telling you how proud he is of you, not flopping at some bar.”Jungwoo looked up with a half smile. “His band is actually kind of good.”
“He’s
flopping
,” Yukhei insisted. “I can feel it in my bones.”
Shaking his head, Jungwoo took a moment to choose his words with care. “I don’t need protecting. I know, okay? I know that in the morning, I’m going to feel awful. And I’m going to have to call Danny and have a long talk with him about all of our shortcomings and that’ll likely end pretty badly. Right now, though...Right now I’m on the couch, in the comfort of my own apartment, watching the corniest movie with the most important person in my life. And this is exactly where I want to be. Everything that I need right now is right here.”
This is how they communicated now, openly with just a hint of abandon. They didn’t hesitate to tell each other how vital the other was, or how wonderful they were. Yukhei thought that Daniel’s presence over the past two years would come with a boundary that prevented such free speech. On the contrary, it seems to have strengthened it. The more Daniel inserted himself, the tighter Yukhei held on. He didn’t even realize it until Daniel made a passive-aggressive remark about entering a polyamorous relationship unexpectedly. When Yukhei responded with a snide
not sure that’s how polyamory works, Danny boy,
he didn’t get the laugh he’d half held out for. Instead, he received a look that screamed
I don’t like you, either.
But that didn’t stop Yukhei from telling Jungwoo that he was special to him, that he was an important fixture in his life, or even that he was beautiful on the days Jungwoo was down on himself. Their hugs were longer, sometimes they kissed each other on the cheek when one of them did something kind, and on especially hard nights, they cuddled on the couch and watched something light.There was one night during midterms when Yukhei felt the world around him was crashing at his feet for no reason at all. He couldn’t bring himself to leave his bed, and the tears were relentless. Jungwoo cancelled his date and climbed into bed with him, gathered him to his chest and rubbed calming circles on his back.That was the night that Yukhei finally, silently admitted to himself that he was in love with his best friend. And the realization made him cry even harder.He eventually bounced back, took a look at their situation, and decided to respect Jungwoo’s relationship. He guessed that accepting knives to the heart on a daily basis felt somewhat similar, but he held back nevertheless.“You’re going to fall asleep any moment,” Yukhei muttered as he ran cautious fingers through Jungwoo’s hair. “Maybe we should go to bed?”“I’m not moving, so either carry me to bed or let me be.”Yukhei snorted. “Noted. Movie it is.”Minutes passed and before long, Yukhei could hear Jungwoo’s breathing even out to a dulling rhythm. He decided to stay still until he heard the telltale snoring, which arrived another four minutes later. He contemplated carrying him to bed. Instead, he just started speaking.
“I know...I know you don’t need protecting. I’ve known that since we were seven years old,” Yukhei chuckled as he continued to rake his hand gently through Jungwoo’s hair. “If anything, I think you’ve saved my ass more than I’ve saved you. But when it comes to you, I can’t turn that part of my heart off. With everything you’ve giving me over the years, I don’t feel like I’m holding my weight in this friendship unless I’m protecting you in some way. I protect you because
I
need it, not you.”
He started to lightly scratch at Jungwoo’s scalp as his snoring grew just a little louder. “I’m proud of you, Woo. When you walked across the stage, I think I took out the hearing of everyone within a five-row radius. I screamed my damn face off. I’m sure you heard me. I couldn’t help myself, I was just so proud of everything you’ve become. And to be honest, I’m proud of what I’ve become, too. I think a lot of that has to do with you too, though. You just...
make
me better, Woo.”
He’d have to tell him one day, when he was awake and able to respond. For now, though, he was content with whispering gentle confessions upon his sleeping form while Zendaya and Zac Efron clutched each other for dear life.
ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF HIS SPOTLESS MIND
“This feels over the top,” Yukhei said as he threw another bundle of dry sticks unto the fire. His point was emphasized by a sizable leap of the flames.
“Two weeks ago you woke me up in the middle of the night to kill a spider," Jungwoo reminded him with a smirk as he carried over the cardboard box of items. "Then you suggested we go on a day trip to - what was it? - ‘exorcise the memory.’ I don’t think you get to tell me what is or isn’t over the top.”Smiling, Yukhei continued to feed the campfire. “Yeah, but you went along with it. And we had a great time.”Jungwoo grinned softly. “I need to learn how to say no to you a little more often, good time or not.”“Agree to disagree.”“I guess so. Shall we?”Yukhei took a last look at the box, filled to the brim with Daniel’s belongings and garnished with with the overhanging sleeve of one of his hoodies.“Woo, I can just call him to pick up his things,” he offered one last time. “You don’t even have to be here when he comes.”Jungwoo shook his head resolutely. “He’s had almost six months to get his shit. I’ve texted, I’ve called, I’ve offered to drop it off. He’s busy and I don’t want it hanging around anymore.”“And a fire as opposed to just tossing it out?”“Everything’s better by candlelight,” Jungwoo responded with an air of feigned regality.That earned a belly laugh from Yukhei, which he hadn’t done in a while. The resulting coughing fit let him know he was out of practice. “Okay. You’re the boss. Do you want to do the honors?”Jungwoo bent forward and snagged the green hooded sweatshirt. “No honors. Just final business.” Without further talk, he began tossing the items into the fire, one by one.Three shirts, four notebooks, two plastic mugs, three small photo albums and a forgotten watercolor set later, all remaining memories of Daniel were reduced to molten plastic and embers. Yukhei glanced over to check on his friend, scared that he might find tears. Instead, Jungwoo stood a little straighter and look at total ease. He turned and locked eyes. “Sushi?”
They had dinner, watched a game show, and called it an early night before retreating to their respective rooms.
That night, Yukhei found it hard to sleep.
For him, the fire didn’t burn away any latent memories of Daniel. In fact, it felt like his essence had merged with the smoke and settled throughout their home. Everything felt imbued with him now and it left Yukhei feeling...unsettled.
Did Jungwoo still have feelings for Daniel? For the longest time he thought that he didn't. Now for some reason he was second guessing everything.
He guessed that it had something to do with his own struggle to get over Jongin. Their relationship was short and while they just didn’t click, it took a while for Yukhei to shake the feeling that something was wrong with him. It took a lot of care from Jungwoo to get back to feeling right.
Maybe that’s what Jungwoo needed now. He just wasn’t sure if he had any residual strength to help him prepare for the next guy.
Desperate to rid himself of the anxious energy, Yukhei moved about the room, reorganizing things, looking at videos, and refolded his laundry. He was considering just hopping into bed and possibly even calling his mother when he heard a knock on his bedroom door.
“Come in,” he called. Jungwoo wasted no time entering the room and closing the door behind him. He looked slightly panicked as he leaned against the closed entrance.“You’re pacing,” he said matter-of-factly. “You’ve been pacing for hours.”Yukhei blinked. “You’d only know that if - ““- if I had been pacing in front of your door and all around the apartment for hours myself?” Jungwoo finished with a small laugh. “Yeah. Well.”He stopped talking to stare at his feet for a moment. Yukhei assumed he was gathering his thoughts and allowed him the silence to do so in peace, even though his heart was ready to beat out of his ribcage.
“It’s crucial that you know,” he began almost breathlessly as he lifted his head to look at directly at Yukhei, “that tonight wasn’t about Daniel at all. I mean yeah, those were his things, but they’re just
things
. I can’t remember the last time I felt anything for him. Truly.”
Yukhei took a good look at him. His hands were shaking, but his feet and gaze were firm. It was a hard read; Jungwoo was rarely
this
jittery.
“Jungwoo, it’s okay if there's still something there,” Yukhei said, despite the sirens wailing in his head and chest, begging him not to say such things. “Two years is..significant.”“It's long, yeah,” Jungwoo agreed, voice still shaky. “It feels even longer when most of that time is spent trying to convince yourself that he’s the one, even when there are signs everywhere that he isn’t...even when you know in your heart that he’s not your person.”The silence that followed dragged and expanded until it swallowed everything around them, leaving just him and Jungwoo in this quiet void.“Xuxi,” Jungwoo choked out, “The fire wasn’t about mourning anything. I couldn’t sleep without knowing whether or not you understood that.”
Opting to take a seat at the edge of his bed, Yukhei replied, “It shouldn’t matter what I think. It shouldn’t matter what
anyone
thinks.”
“I don’t care what other people think,” Jungwoo insisted. “I care what
you
think. You alone.”
Yukhei inhaled deeply, audibly. “Woo. Talk to me.”There was a moment where Jungwoo looked like he was considering leaving. To Yukhei’s relief, he took a few cautious steps forward. He stopped when he was a foot and a half out of reach.“In the future, when I’m exactly where I want to be, Daniel will barely exist as a footnote. I won’t remember what he smelled like, what his favorite late night drink was, or how he looked in any of the clothes we burned today. I barely remember most of it now because there was never a moment when I really felt like I had to truly commit him to my memory. He always felt... temporary. I burned his stuff because it just felt silly to hold onto any of it, both the items and the memories attached to them. I wanted to make room for...what comes next.”The bob of Jungwoo’s Adam’s apple outshone his own nerves, and he quickly felt a need to provide some form of comfort to him. Even in a moment of total vulnerability, the protective side of him won out. Without thinking, Yukhei reached out and took one of Jungwoo’s hands into both of his. He gently tugged him closer, until he was sitting on the bed as well, hip-to-hip. He adjusted their hands so that the fingers of his right hand intertwined with Jungwoo’s left.“So what comes next,” he asked quietly.Jungwoo looked at their conjoined hands and shook his head in disbelief, smiling to himself. “The rest of my life, I think. And that requires...a lot of room.”“Yeah?” Feeling emboldened, Yukhei brought their hands to his lips and placed soft, fleeting kisses on Jungwoo’s knuckles. “Not to change the subject or anything, but how much room do I require? Ballpark.”
Jungwoo tossed his head back with a laugh while squeezing Yukhei’s hand. “Have you ever slept in a bed with yourself? Limbs in every direction. You require
a lot
of room, Wong Yukhei.” There was a pause as he looked into his eyes. “But there’s always been room for you.”
Yukhei gifted him with a lopsided grin. “You’re my best friend in the whole world, Woo. More than that, if I’m being honest.”“And you’re mine. That part doesn’t have to change.”“You promise? Because I could never bear to lose you. Ever.”“I can’t lose you, either. But I also can’t pretend that there’s another person wandering this earth that is meant for me. Not when the truth is sitting right across the hall.”At this, Yukhei grabbed both of Jungwoo’s hands and tucked them into his chest. It was the only way to anchor him to the bed while he felt like running into the streets and letting everyone know that his world was finally right.“I stayed to the side,” Yukhei sighed, “because I never wanted to be the person that stood in the way of your happiness. I’m...I’m always going to put you before myself.”“I’d never ask you to do that.”
“You wouldn’t have to,” Yukhei replied. “That’s a choice I made years ago, whether I knew it or not. And now? Now the future I want -
need
- involves me taking care of you in any way possible.”
Jungwoo smiled and squeezed his hands. “Us taking care of each other, Yukhei.”“I hope you know that I’m taking this as permission to bug you forever.”“You better!”
“Like,
forever
, Woo. Nothing but dad jokes for the rest of your days. My loud ass laugh waking you up every morning and our kids knowing the most embarrassing stories about you and me sneaking away with your hair products after taking a shower and public ass grabs and -”
He couldn’t finish his thought...not with Jungwoo’s lips firmly affixed to his as he climbed in his lap. It took no time for him to settle and once he was fully seated, Jungwoo extracted his hands from Yukhei’s in order to wrap his arms around his shoulders. Yukhei clung to him like his very life depended on it.Kissing Jungwoo felt like breathing new life into every vein and it activated every nerve ending. It wasn’t particularly sultry, but each press of their soft lips felt like a new promise. It was a sensation that he didn’t want to stop any time soon.
This.
This is how he was supposed to feel and live for the rest of his time on this earth.
Jungwoo eventually pulled back, just enough to speak against Yukhei’s lips. “Promise me the jokes will be really bad and that the butt grabs will be super public, and I’m yours forever.”
THIS IS LOVE, ACTUALLY
He really,
really
wanted to wake Chenle up.
After they extraordinary day the three of them had, Yukhei struggled not to gently poke his round cheeks until he opened his eyes so that they could start the day all over again. But he knew better than to wake a sleeping toddler. Also, Jungwoo would rightfully have his head.The lovestruck parents sat on either side of the snoozing child, who had taken refuge in their bed. They quietly basked in the culmination of their hard work and love. Yukhei promised to carry him to his room once he had fallen asleep. That was about twenty minutes ago.There were moments in Yukhei’s life when the love he felt was so robust, so complex that Jungwoo would tell him to “just talk through it, baby.” And that would sometimes lead to verbose, mad-libby monologues, loud singing and dancing, or him simply tossing Jungwoo over his shoulders and hauling him off to the bedroom. The last time, they broke a bed frame.But he didn’t have the benefit of sound now. Not when the newest love of his life slumbered away next to him.He turned to the bedside drawer and looked for something to write on. After some quiet rummaging, he found a sticky pad and a pen. He ignored Jungwoo’s confused glare and started jotting down whatever came to mind.He handed the first note to his husband, then immediately got to work on the second. Jungwoo read quietly.
I dreamed about our future long before you were mine.
Jungwoo’s breath hitched. When he looked up, Yuhkei was already passing him another note.
In my head, we visited the world. Raced bulls. Fought dragons.
Another note.One time, when I was jealous and silly, I imagined taking you on a date...in space. Less competition, right?Jungwoo held in a giggle while thumbing one of the stars Yuhkei had sketched in the corner. Then came another note.
In my mind we have done everything, seen everything, and lived through everything together. Woo and Xuxi.
Another note. The final note.
What we have built beats even my wildest dreams. Dragons and all.
Thank you.
I love you.
He waited for Jungwoo to stop staring at the sticky note, which took some time. Finally, he watched him swipe at the tears that threatened to cascade down his rosy cheeks just before leaning over their son to place a warm, gentle kiss on his lips. Yukhei let his eyes fall shut and felt Jungwoo’s cool hand cup his neck softly. He knew better than to deepen the kiss with Chenle in the room. But now, as Jungwoo’s lips delivered love like warm drizzled honey, he felt just a little more eager to get the sleeping toddler into his own bed.Jungwoo pulled away slowly, grabbing the pen and pad out of Yukhei’s grasp along the way. Intrigued, Yukhei peered over while Jungwoo scribbled furiously across the paper. A minute later, Jungwoo peeled away the sticky and handed it over.There was no note, but there was a doodle - a collection of stick figures, to be exact. The two tall, smiling men where him and Jungwoo, next to them was an excited Chenle, and next to him were two equally excited children, mysteriously labeled “Sibling 1” and “Sibling 2.” At the end of the line sat an indistinct circle with four legs and the word “Pet?” hanging above it.Yukhei quietly chuckled, his heart fluttering at the thought of expanding their little family. As he stared at the drawing, Jungwoo slipped another note just underneath.
My love, my best friend, my universe.
If you think our life is something to behold now, just wait until you see what comes next.
Stay tuned.