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The burst of cold air stung his bloodshot eyes as he stepped out onto the small cement patch behind the physics building. He really fucked things up this time. He banged his head against the brick wall, a sharp wave of pain blistered down his spine. “Good” he thought to himself. He needed to feel pain. Who knows? Maybe it might knock some sense into him for once. Maybe the pain might teach him how to be a better man. God knows she deserved one.He fumbled in his pocket cursing as he pulled out an empty cigarette pouch. “It bloody figures,” he swore spiking the empty carton to the ground.“Now, Now, Dr. Rush, there are young innocent minds running about.”“Christ!” He jumped at the voice, turning around to see Mal Page, professor of folklore and mythology leaning against the wall a few feet away from him. “Are you trying to give me a bloody heart attack.”“I’m sure the students here would throw me a full blown jamboree if I was able to do that.”He snorted knowing there was a hint of truth in it. His reputation as the cantankerous sullen beast of a professor was legend amongst the student population. The only other professor’s reputation that slightly rivaled his own, was Mal’s. Student’s labeled her the “dragon” due to her ability to send unprepared students down into a blazing inferno with
her quick fire questions. She was the only other professor that he held any respect towards. “It’s Friday night Mal, shouldn’t you be long gone by now?”“Well I could ask you the same thing, well actually no, everyone knows that you practically live here, well that is until your pretty little librarian, who is way out of your league, comes and takes you away.” Laughing at her own jest, she shrugged her shoulders. “I’m going away for the weekend, and needed to get these midterms graded before I left.”He watched as she took a long drag of her cigarette, a look of longing on his face. Looking down at his empty crumbled pack, she extended her pack to him, as he mumbled something about “bloody time” under his breath. She lit his cigarette, as he closed his eyes, taking a long slow drag from it. “Last cigarette of the day?”“The last cigarette of my life,” he whispered out into the cold night air. “Well that’s quite the declaration, Dr. Rush. And why such the bold proclamation of quitting?”“I’m going to be a father.”“You’re becoming a priest?”Unamused he took another drag before speaking. “Belle’s pregnant.”He watched her eyes widen in surprise, as her lips curved up into a smirk. “Well, who knew you had it in you, you old horn dog.” He took another drag from his cigarette, trying to calm his frazzled nerves. Six hours ago the love of his life came into his office to give him the life changing news. He should have taken her into his arms, declare his undying love for her and their new creation, but the wanker he was, he just sat there, overwhelmed first by surprise, and then utter fear. He could see the disappointment in her eyes by his reaction, as she declared her lunch break was almost over, and needed to get back to work at the University library, as he sat there mutely just nodding his head. She deserved so much better than him. There was no possible explanation, why someone as beautiful, and kind, and loving as Belle, would ever give a twat like himself the time of day, and yet there she was, giving him love and support, and the greatest sex he ever had for the last year and a half of his life. He counted each day as a blessing, but in the back of his mind he always waited for her to wake up one day, and realize she could do so much better than him. And now? Now she was connected to him forever. He wasn’t worthy of her. He wasn’t worthy of this child they had made. Mal shook her head a smile on her face. “Dr. Rush, father to be. So why are you here, when you should be out celebrating with your gorgeous girlfriend?”He sighed closing his eyes. “Because I’m a fucking numpty.”“Why I’m sure that a majority of the student population would agree with that statement, that doesn’t explain why you are here sulking instead of celebrating.”“I’m not sulking.” Throwing the cigarette down, he stomped on it. “I only have seven and a half months to get my shit together.” He reached into his pocket pulling out his notepad. “Do you have any idea how much money it takes to raise a child?”He glanced down flipping the pages and pages of calculations and notes that he made. For the last five hours, he had done extensive research on every aspect of raising a child.
“And this doesn’t even account for when he wants to get his master’s degree.” He had never been an extravagant spender, something he was thankful for, knowing that he had
savings, since he lived most of his life living off of coffee and smokes, but he would never have enough money to give Belle and the baby the type of life that they both deserved. He already had planned on asking her to live with him when her lease was over in three months, but his cramped studio apartment wouldn’t be sufficient for them now that there was a baby on the way. He needed to find them a more suitable place to live, a house, with a yard. That is if she still wanted to be with him.He felt Mal’s hands on his shoulders pulling him out of his stupor. “Listen. I know you. I know your brain is looking at this problem and immediately trying to calculate the correct answer.”He felt a sudden wave of defensiveness sweep through is core. “This baby is not a problem. It’s…it’s the best thing that ever happened to me, besides being with his mother. They give my life purpose.”“Exactly.” Mal smiled taking her hands off of him with a wink. “So why don’t you take your endlessly frustrating Scottish ass over to Belle’s and tell her that.”He gave her a stiff nod, as he allowed himself to feel what was truly in his heart. This baby, why scaring the life out of him, also brought the greatest sense of pride, happiness, and love. He needed to get to Belle. He turned opening the door to head back to his office to get his car keys, when Mal’s voice froze him in place. “You know, with all of the smarts you claim to have, you think you would know that there is a fifty-fifty chance that this he you keep referring to might very well end up being a she.”His heart thumped out of his chest, at the thought of a chestnut hair blue eyed girl, looking up at him, as beautiful and curious as her mama. A true smile bloomed on his face at just the thought of a mini Belle.“Congratulations daddy,” Mal called out over her shoulder as she walked into the darkness. X
She bit her lip as she turned to the side, examining her profile in the mirror. She ran her hands over her still flat stomach. She didn’t look pregnant yet, and couldn’t help but wonder when her belly would start to show. Glancing at the clock she saw it was 7:30 and sighed. Should she head back over to his office to talk to him? Perhaps he was still sitting there at his desk, white as a ghost, staring blankly at the wall. She knew the news would surprise him, she had to take three tests before she could really believe that she was in fact pregnant. It wasn’t something that they had planned. When she went to the doctor earlier that morning and in fact confirmed that she was 6 weeks pregnant, she felt a whirl of emotion.She knew she was going to keep the baby, and in her heart, she knew Nick would want this child to, as soon as he got over the shock of it all. Still his initial reaction had stung. She had hoped for at least a hug after the shock wore off, but he just sat there like a log making no move what so ever. It wasn’t the first time she had seen him react that way though. She recalled how after months of helping him with his research at the library, she finally gained the courage to head over to his office, and ask him out properly on a date. She had thought he would just stare at her forever, before he jerked out of whatever trance he had fallen in, and spilled the cup of coffee all over his papers. It helped to break the tension however, and that night he had taken her to a small diner that he often frequented during his late night work sessions.He would often complain about the incompetency of his students and the inadequacy of his research team and although he seemed to have disdain for much of humanity he always treated her like she was the one diamond in the ruff. There was something special about having a place in his heart, while so many others were shut off from him. She felt special. She felt loved. And even though no one else truly got him, she did. She saw the man behind the mask, and she loved him. She heard the wrapping on the door, and knew it was him. She opened the door, her breath hitching for a moment, as her eyes laid upon him in his white shirt and blue jeans. She felt a flutter in her stomach, and for a moment she wondered if that was the baby, or her attraction to him. “Can I come in, Sweetheart?”“Of course,” she replied quickly stepping to the side. He held out freshly picked bunch of flowers towards her.She looked at the flowers conspicuously. “Aren’t these the same flowers from outside my apartment building?”He shrugged. “They didn’t have any at the drug store.”It was then that she noticed that he was carrying a white plastic bag in the other hand. Oh God had he gone to the drug store to buy her a pregnancy test to be sure. He placed the bag down on the couch, and reached for both of her hands. “Sweetheart, I was a fucking…” he stopped suddenly, taking a deep breath. “I’m sorry.” He leant down towards her tummy. “I’m sorry little one. This is new for me I’m trying to stop with the bloody cursing.”She couldn’t help but giggle hearing him talk to their child for the first time. Hope suddenly swelled in her chest. “The thing is when your mommy first told me about you, I was scared shitless. ...I mean damnit…shit,” He glanced up at her and she ran her hand through his hair laughing He closed his eyes leaning into her touch. “You see the thing is, I have spent most of my adult life searching for life. I’ve studied the stars, solar systems, and the infinite realms of space looking for new creations. And well here you are, my…our creation. I have been waiting my entire life for you little one.”Tears fell from her eyes, as he stood up, looking her in her eyes. “I love you more than anything Belle. It’s no surprise that I didn’t have a life before you, and now you have given me my greatest accomplishment Belle. We made life, sweetheart. We are going to have a baby.”His words had her so choked up that she couldn’t speak, so she lunged into his arms, feeling the tightness of his embrace. Soon her lips were on his, as tears fell from both of their eyes. After a few passionate minutes, her curiosity won out, and she pulled away from Nick. “So what’s in the bag?”XHer constant state of curiosity was one of the many traits that he hoped that their child would inherit from her. She smiled widely as she pulled out a small box of chocolates.“I read that chocolate in moderation during pregnancy can actually help in preventing preeclampsia.”“Of course you did.”She raised a brow as she pulled out the nicotine gum next. “I know you have wanted me to quit for a while now, and there is no better motivation than now.”“No swearing and now no smoking. I don’t know which one of us is going to be grumpier during this pregnancy,” she teased him. “But I’m proud of you Nick, and I’m sure your lungs are thankful as well.”He knew it was going to be hard, but there was no way he was going to do anything, that could possibly harm the life that they created. He just pitied his students next semester who had to deal with his withdrawals. She smiled as she pulled out the last item, a New Parent magazine that he had purchased. She scanned the pages quickly, a nervous look suddenly appearing on her face. “There is a lot we are going to have to learn, Nick.”He was surprised that he suddenly felt a pang of confidence, when he had been freaking out for most of the day. Perhaps it was seeing her nervous for the first time, that brought a sense of calm to him. “We do, sweetheart. But we will learn it together. And we will make some mistakes, but there is one thing I am certain of.”“And what’s that,” she inquired.“That it is going to be one hell of a journey, and I can’t wait to be by your side through all of it.”He watched as she threw the magazine down on the couch, looking his body over from head to toe, licking her lips. Wordlessly she moved towards the bedroom. She stopped halfway down the hallway, calling out over her shoulder, “Aren’t you coming?”He stood there for a moment, watching how the light glinted off of her hair, as his heart filled with a feeling of complete and utter love for her and their child. He would have to think of some excuse to leave early the next morning, as he wanted to get to the jewelry store the moment they opened. Although they were already a family, he wanted to make it official as soon as possible. “I’m right behind you sweetheart,” he whispered as he followed her into the bedroom.