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Smiling Q did a little jig as he made his way down to his lab. The last minion had been shoved out the door and with a click of a button the email to all known terrorists and evil masterminds was sent, advising them to take a day off or else.Finally he could give himself his Christmas present.The cats would be annoyed with him for not going straight home and dealing with their ‘empty’ food bowls. Anything less then full was a crisis in both fluff balls eyes. In all honesty, they had nothing to complain about since Q had given them an early Christmas present in the shape of an automatic bowl filler.Regardless they’d have to wait; Q wasn’t going to pass up a few blissful uninterrupted hours of working on whatever he wanted. Though to be honest Q had no idea where to start! His box of good ideas was over flowing. Defiantly not anything that involved too much paper work for sure, he mused as he skipped along the last stretch of hallway.Just as his hand touched the keypad to enter the lab, his phone started to ring.Bugger!There was only one person that was assigned that particular ring tone.Bond. James Bond.Of all the people… Q was tempted not to answer it. But maybe, just maybe, it was Santa calling to say he’d finally come through with Q’s Christmas wish and placed the Double–O agent under his tree.The only questionable part was why Santa needed to use Bond’s phone. Well, maybe not, as Santa seemed to be operating on snail mail for the most part. Q wondered if he should mail a phone that could withstand any temperature or atmospheric pressure to him, but decided against it.With one last glance at the screen Q answered the phone.“I need to use your oven.”That wasn’t Santa and the use of an oven wasn’t a Christmas tree, but who was Q to complain? The kitchen was sure as hell close enough for him.
“Come on, it’s not good to be alone for Christmas. And besides I’ve got Tony the turkey to share."
“How do you know I’m not going to Eve’s?” Q grimaced as he entered the lab, heading straight for his sofa. What a way to start the conversation!
“Because she was just gloating to me about the fact that her new fling is taking her on a holiday…” James paused, trying to recall what she’d said, “Somewhere.”“Humph, fair enough. Where’d you get the turkey from anyways?”“The fling gave him to me, since they won’t be needing him any more. Obviously,” James’ eye roll could be heard through the phone.“He’s got a name you know.”“I know! Tony the Turkey!”“Not him, Eve’s boyfriend,” Q snorted.“Yeah, it’s Antonius. Where’d you think I got Tony’s name from?”“Your impossible,” groaned Q as he shuffled around until he was fully stretched out on the sofa, toeing off his shoes and flinging them across the room in the process.“Steady on there, Captain Obvious. Now your oven, yes or no?”“Alright! Just don’t blow anything up, and you WILL clean up after!”“Not blow anything up? Where’s the fun in that!” James sighed.“BOND!”“James will do just fine, I think, since we’re Christmas buddies and everything.”“Buddies? Did you hit your head or something?” Another groan. He really was stuffing up this whole wish for a Double-O for Christmas thing.“Well, yeah. It’s the holidays so co-workers or whatever don't really apply.”“Co-worker? More like minion or giant pain in the rear! If you have to change it for Christmas maybe the person who’s going to ruin my oven would work!” huffed Q, starting to feel a little grinch-y. Maybe there was a reason he chose his grinch sweater over his favourite reindeer one.James chuckled, “How can I be a pain in your arse when I’ve never been anywhere near it? Plus it’s not painful if done correc…”“OK JAMES. That’s enough. I trust that you know where I live and can break in all by yourself without blowing up half of London?”“Yep. Where do you think I am right now? You do know that having 35 tea mugs is pretty ridiculous, right?”Stuff this non grinch-y business, Q thought. No one got to dis his mug collection, not even James Bond! That man was so going to get sent out on his next mission with a fluffy pink headband instead of the normal ear radio device.“I hate you. I hate you so much.”“At least your cats love me. So when are you going to grace us with your delightful presence?"“What traitors! How about never?”
“Come or I’ll ruin your kitchen.”“Fine, fine. How long’s Tony going to take in the oven?"
“He’ll only take a couple of hours tops but I want to cook a few other things so say four ish hours for everything should be plenty.”“Alright. I’ll see you in four then, ok?”“See you then. Don’t make me come kidnap you.”Q grunted in reply before tapping the end call button. What an interesting Christmas this was shaping up to be. At least get a decent meal out of it all, if the rumours about James’ cooking skills were true.
[Q Phone]:
9.00: There’s a pile of Christmas sweaters in my room. Please wear one.
9.01: Not the reindeer one. That’s my favourite.
Jumping up Q went over to his desk and began pulling gadget plans out of his ideas box. The very least he could do for James, since he wasn’t there to help cook, would be to give him a present. And Q knew exactly what he wanted to gift the other man.Finally at the very bottom of it he found one of the very first plans he’d drawn up, from way back when he was first made Quartermaster.An exploding pen.This was going to be so fun to make. The basis of the pen was very easy, but Q wanted to make it extra fancy. So that included making fire works so he could choose exactly which colour he wanted the pen to explode.
[JB Phone]:
9.10: They’re all reindeer. Unless you mean for me to wear a non-Christmassy one?
9:10: I am NOT wearing that yellow… thing!
[Q Phone]:
9:11: The dark blue one has cars on it? Or do you just need glasses?
9:12: And that mustard cardigan is one of my favourites you know!
[JB Phone]:
9:12: Cars being pulled by REINDEER.
[Q Phone]:
9:12: Just wear it.
9:12: Please.
A few moments later Q received a photo from James showing him in the jumper posing with the turkey. Grinning he forwarded the picture to Eve before getting back to work on the pen.
~~~As soon as he stepped out of the elevator, Q’s tummy rumbled as he was inundated with the yummy smells of Tony the turkey. Quietly he entered the code to the front door and slipped in side. After placing James’s present under the tree, he headed towards the kitchen.Q was glad to see that the kitchen was standing and unharmed. That must be a first considering James was the king of damage and mayhem. He was also happy to see that the other had kept the jumper on. Honestly he’d thought James would’ve ripped the jumper off as soon as he’d taken the photo.“Come on kitties, we must put the kettle on for Q. We don’t want him to not have any tea now would we?”“No, we don’t. Everything smells amazing!” said Q as he finally entered the kitchen.James smiled as he turned to face the younger man, “Oh good, you’re here. I was worried I’d actually have to come get you.”“Why would I want to miss out on eating Tony?”“Hopefully he’s turned out alright. I’ve never actually cooked a full turkey before. Here put him on the table, will you?” James said, handing Q the dish.The cats followed Q as he went into the dining room. Grabbing a spare plate he dished some up for them before dishing some for him and James.“You know what, I’d heard you where a good cook. But I didn’t know you where this good. I may just keep you,” Q mumbled as he went in for another bite.Laughing James replied, “Your bed looks comfy so I may just take you up on that offer.”“Good to know that you’re just in it for the bed.”“Well, you’re in it for the food,” shrugged James, “Seriously though, I was quite glad to have gotten Tony, because it kind of gave me an excuse to hang out with you more.”Q frowned, “But that’s never stopped you before. From hanging around me in Q-Branch, I mean.”“Think about it, Q… Maybe I wanted to see you outside of work.”“Oooh. In any case I’m glad of Tony too,” Q shyly replied, reaching out a hand to James.
James took Q’s offered hand in his, interlacing their fingers, “We’ll have to send the original Tony and Eve a thank you card.”“And a bottle of wine,” said Q, “When we’re done eating, we could, if you want, eat dessert in front of the tree? Do presents and watch a Christmas-y movie?”“That sounds great as long as Die Hard is the movie,” insisted James.Q chuckled, “Of course.”~~~Soon enough the food had been eaten, dishes washed and the two men where snuggled up on the couch. The cats where busy playing in front of the fire with the catnip toys Q had brought for them.
“Sorry about the wrapping. I didn’t have anything apart from reports,” said Q as he handed James’s present over.“It's ok. The reports are actually doing something useful!” grinned James, tearing into the present, “I’m sorry I don’t have anything for you.”“Can we count Tony the turkey? Or this amazing apple pie?” replied Q, smiling at James’s enthusiasm.“If you wan…” James stopped short, “Is this what I think it is?”Q nodded, “Yep. Made it today, actually. Now click once for normal pen, and seven for the explosion. I went a bit over board with it.”“How do you mean?” James asked.“Well, I basically put a red and green firework in there.”“Oh wow. 'For James',” James read the inscription aloud, glancing at Q with an eyebrow raised, “Not for Tony?”
“I’d wanted to but I thought that this would be better. What do you reckon?”
James pulled Q into a half hug, “This is great. Thank you!”“No worries. Now movie?” grinned Q.~~~
One movie soon turned into two and then into a few more. Left over’s from lunch were consumed, and many more cups of tea made. Both men thoroughly enjoying each other’s company and declaring that this was the best Christmas ever.The icing on the cake for James was when Q was the one who destroyed the kitchen by somehow breaking the dishwasher and flooding the room.