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Ty sat on their bed, tying his shoes and waiting for Zane to finish getting ready in the bathroom. The Baltimore office Christmas party was in an hour and while they were both retired now, the team invited them to attend, insisting the parties were always more interesting when Grady and Garrett showed up. Zane readily agreed since they weren’t leaving for Boston until the morning so it would be a fun way to pass the evening.
But Zane had been in the bathroom for what felt like ages and Ty was anxious to get going, his knee bouncing impatiently. “Get your ass out here, Garrett, and let’s go!” He received no reply, an unusual occurrence since Zane rarely wasted an opportunity for a comeback. Ty frowned, concerned something might actually be wrong.
He got up and knocked on the door, expecting Zane to open it but it opened on its own, not having fully latched when Zane closed it behind himself. Glancing in, Ty didn’t know what he expected. But it wasn’t to see his husband bracing himself on the counter, leaning forward so he could look at himself up close in the mirror.
“Darlin’, something wrong?” Ty stepped into the room, brows furrowed. Zane was so lost to his thoughts that he startled when Ty came into his view. “Talk to me, baby.”
As if in a trance, Zane brought a hand up to touch the hair by his temples. The silver strands stood out against his normally black hair and Ty loved them. He thought they made his husband look even more gorgeous than he’d ever believed possible. “I’m getting old.” Zane’s words were so quiet that Ty almost didn’t hear them. “I’m looking old.” His eyes met Ty’s in the mirror and Ty’s heart broke at the pain he saw there.
“Yes, well, so am I. I thought you would be happy about that,” Ty joked, though it fell flat, even to his own ears. “Never really thought we would live this long.” He’d said it before, how he always thought that he and Zane would go together, in a blaze of glory. They’d come close too many times to count but they were still here and that was what mattered.
Zane turned to look at Ty, the pain still etched in every line on his face. “I’m getting old, Ty. I’m almost ten years older than you. Why do you want to stick around when it’s just going to get worse, not better?” Ty’s heart hurt at the very thought of not being around Zane, of trying to live a life without the one he loved. They’d promised one another forever years ago and he had no intention to go back on that now. “Lines around my eyes, grey in my hair. My hands...” He lifted them, looking at the lines and scars that crisscrossed them. A sign of a life lived hard, but well as far as Ty was concerned but he knew that wasn’t what Zane was seeing.
“Zane, I knew your age before we fell into bed together that first night. It didn’t bother me then and it doesn’t bother me now. Absolutely nothing you say or do could make me leave your side. You’re stuck with me, darlin’.” Stepping close, Ty ran his fingers along Zane’s temple. “Do you know how damn sexy you are? Every time I think I can love you more, I notice something new. Your grey hair? So fucking distinguished. God, I can’t even get over how good you make it look. Every time I notice it, I want to jump you right then and there.” Zane chuckled a little, leaning his head against Ty’s hand.
“The lines around your eyes? They only make them more beautiful. Lines from the laughs that we shared and the pain that we both carried.” So much pain in their past, but at this point, there were even more laughs and smiles, all because of the beautiful man in front of him. He traced his thumb under Zane’s eye, following the cheekbone with a barely-there touch. Zane’s eyes fluttered closed and Ty leaned in to kiss his forehead. It was rare that Zane was the insecure one of the two of them but he was happy to give his husband all the reassurance he needed.
With his free hand, he took Zane’s, bringing it up to his lips to kiss gently. “Look at your hands, baby. Think about what you can do with these. You are one of the deadliest people I know but when you touch me, there is nothing but love. Sure there are lines, there are scars, but that is the nature of our work. It was that work that brought us together and I wouldn’t change anything about it. Those lines tell the story of our lives and you and I both could name where most of them came from.”
He watched the pain in his husband’s eyes fade, replaced with love shining through. Zane leaned in to kiss him. “Thank you, doll. I love you.”
“I love you too,” Ty replied, smiling into the kiss. “Zane, it’s a privilege to grow old with you. Every single one of those things that bothers you? They are some of the things I love most. It’s not just that I don’t care about us getting old, but it’s that I am so damn excited to get old, as long as I have you by my side.” He pulled Zane close, wrapping his arms around him to hug him, to hold him tight. “Now, are you done feeling sorry for yourself? Because I’m rather tired of you trashing the man I love. He doesn’t deserve it.”
Zane laughed lightly and nodded. “I’m done. Sorry about that.”
“It’s forgotten. Now, let’s get to that party. I can’t wait for Fred to see what I got him this year.” Ty grinned and it only got brighter when Zane rolled his eyes. His husband was back with him from wherever his dark mood had him hidden.
Zane took his hand, kissing Ty’s ring finger. “Just promise me you only put your name on it.”
“I will do no such thing. You married me for better or worse, darling. You’re getting better and I’m getting worse.” Ty winked at him and took off for the stairs, grinning delightedly as Zane’s laughter filtered down to his ears.
If he could only hear that laughter for the rest of his life, Ty knew it would be a life well-lived.