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16:00 O’clock, Wednesday, 30th July, 1980
Lily had wanted to give birth in the hospital since with her muggle upbringing, it was where she felt she could get the best medical assistance, but St Mungos wasn’t safe these days what with being such an obvious place for Death Eaters to find them. Especially now that James’ and Lily’s children were being targeted before they had even been born. They had considered using a muggle hospital, but in terms of child birthing, the muggle world was still far behind the magical one. Magic could help turn a breached child better than any physicians instruments, and potions could help numb the agony of childbirth and heal a mother and child from life-threatening injury or sickness far better and faster than any advancements in muggle medicine. With them having twins the chances of complications was much higher, so they had agreed on a home birth.They had hired a professional midwife, Eirene Denet, the woman that had helped Euphemia give birth to James. She had been working as a midwife for several decades at this point, being over eighty years in age, and having her to assist in the birth of the twins was sure to promise a safe birth for both Lily and the children. She had promised to be discreet and had understood that although they couldn’t give her details, that it would likely put her in danger of a Death Eater attack if it became known she was assisting them. In return, the Potters had provided the option of passage out of Britain if she wanted to get away from the risk it put her in. She had taken them up on the offer since she had previously lived for a short time in Australia with her ex-husband fifty years back, and she still had some friends there she could get back into contact with. She wasn’t afraid of helping them but was still wise enough to know she was safer off not staying in the country if she would be making a target of herself.They had transformed the bathroom and main bedroom into labouring rooms which Lily could easily go between through some partial architectural restructuring and making sure there were things she could hold onto for stability should she need it. For the actual births she had ended up in the bedroom with her upper body braced against a quickly transfigured back support at the end of the bed where she was partially sat with her legs braced to push down, with James and Eirene supporting her.The first child to be born was a boy with a shock of wispy dark hair and bright blue eyes who cried out immediately and was just as quickly placed in Lily’s arms, still screaming in shock at meeting the world, but after a few moments quietened as he seemed to find comfort in being pressed against her skin.Lily herself was shaking at both the physical exertion and the emotion of meeting her son for the first time. She cradled him and muttered a sweet hello to welcome him into the world, James deeper voice echoing the sentiment beside her as a he took in their son in equal awe but let her have the first moment with him. She didn’t have long to take in the knowledge that her first child was out in the world though, before she had to give her attention to the second one.After examining her, Eirene let her know that they would have to turn the baby before she started to push because she was not in the correct position to come out. Luckily that was easy enough to do and Lily was given a potion to drink to give her the energy needed to push out a second child. Eirene cut the first cord and wrapped the boy. James was passed their eldest and he shifted to be able cradle him without moving away from Lily, allowing her to brace herself against him again and also see their son as she did so, letting out a strained but awed laugh as the insanity of the situation that was birthing twins took over for a moment as she realised this would be the only moment she would know what it felt to be a mother to one.James gave her a tender kiss on her head and murmured reassurances against her skin which was coated in sweat, her body still reacting to all of the physical demands of birthing children even if the extent of the pain was dulled for her. The potion was beginning to take effect though and the tiredness that seemed to emanate from her bones was lifted as energy came from within her.Eirene told her to prepare to push and so for the second time in an hour she bore down and in three pushes her daughter joined them in the world with a cry identical to her brother. Lily let Eirene readjust her, pulling the bed out to support her legs as she collapsed completely against her back support and James before their newest born child was placed in her arms, looking almost identical to her twin (considering they were newborns that was no surprise). This one took a bit longer to calm than her brother, who was also startled at the sound of his twin’s cries and started again. Lily and James shared a somewhat alarmed look at the realisation this would likely be the beginning of many nights of two screaming children before James cracked and started laughing in mirth, which Lily joined in as they both tried to calm the infants with soft touches and kisses to their heads.Eirene gave them a few moments, quietly cleaning Lily’s legs and walking away to wash her hands and arms and look through her medicinal potions before she returned.They took a moment to switch babies so James got a chance to hold and greet their daughter and Lily was holding their son again before Eirene gave Lily a potion that would quicken the tightening of the uterus and with it the expulsion of the afterbirth. Which happened quickly.
17:00 O’clock
In little time, Lily was somewhat cleaner and with the tears she hadn’t even realised she had gotten now healed, she was lying propped against the cushions beneath the blanket with both babies with her firmly settled on the bed in a large bassinette. James had gone downstairs to get her something to eat after she’d admitted to being starving and Eirene inspected her and then the babies.“We can wait for James to return to do the parentage tests my love. But both babies look in good health. Of course, they are three weeks early but neither seem to be in need of extra care because of it, not uncommon in magical twins, you just have to make sure they both get enough food to help them gain some more weight since they’re smaller than an average new-born. If you want to breastfeed both babes then there are potions and some rituals to help increase your milk yield, if not then supplementary formula is easy enough to get these days, the muggle stuff is just as good as the magical, so if you’re trying to lay low you can always use the newborn muggle formula. Do make sure everything you get is for the appropriate age range, I will leave a list of suggestions for you and James so you can have a point of reference.” Eirene was in full information giving mode, and Lily didn’t have time to dwell on the enigma that was a magical midwife suggesting muggle products because she was more focused on the first thing.“Why would we need parentage tests?” Lily couldn’t keep the hostility out of her voice. She was tired and there was surely little reason for any parentage tests except for if there was doubt concerning her fidelity to her husband. As if her children were not without a doubt his. Has James requested tests? “Did James request parentage test?” Surely he wouldn’t have.“Oh.” Eirene seemed surprised before realisation dawned on her face. “Oh my dear. My apologies. I am still so used to doing things according to tradition I didn’t even think to ask your stance on it. But no, no, James did not request so. It is simply custom in magical families due to more than a few instances of an unborn child’s parentage either being hidden or changed by some kind of magical meddling. Either by a person or simply odd events of magical inheritance. Although uncommon, it occurs enough to make it a common practice to check all children to see what bloodlines the child inherited and check there was no interference, either intentional or unintential.”Lily was relieved in a sense but still not completely comfortable. It still felt like doubt was being cast on her, even if not by James, by Eirene. She had been hired by James’s parents of course. They were the ones paying her.“I don’t think it necessary though. Surely there should be no reason they wouldn’t take after both of us. We have only been around trusted people because of the war and there isn’t anything else to inherit.” She tried explaining. Eirene just shook her head.“You two told me yourself there was a danger posed to these babies. For one reason or another they are significant and that must have something to do with their parentage. And unfortunately, parentage can altered be easily enough manipulated. I don’t suppose you know the story of Ann Kelva whose mother tried to change the course of a prophecy involving her daughter by changing her own daughter to be not of her blood. Which only made bitterness fester in her daughter and ultimately led to her usurping her own mother. That was when magical parentage tests became commonplace, since now one person had done it, changing a child’s bloodline became common after that before the laws were put in place to prevent it. But even with the laws in place it’s still used often enough that it’s still tested for in each newborn babe. There have been instances of scorned lovers cursing their former partners wombs to produce their own children, leading to several bitter adultery cases being taken to the wizengamot before the facts were uncovered.”Eirene glanced at her and saw the disturbed look on her face because she laughed and patted her arm.“It is still yet an unlikely event. It is only that pureblood families tend to uphold blood purity and are instilled with certain paranoia that it has become a common occurrence to do such parentage tests on infants. It is not mandatory of course, but it is not any harm either, and likewise it is not just through acts of malice and manipulation that children’s parentage can be altered, but sometimes magic just acts to bring certain bloodlines to the surface, or as some people presume, balance things by ensuring certain bloodlines persist. Those events are harder to explain but it does happen. Sometimes a child can inherit ancestry to a bloodline neither of their parents belong to. Incredibly rare, but they tend to be well-known because of how persistently magical families track their bloodlines and the drama that tends to ensue when children are born with unexpected bloodlines.”Honestly, Lily was somewhat tense around the talk of bloodlines, since in her experience of the magical world thus far, so much of the time any conversation around blood was filled with bigotry and elitist ideals around superior bloodlines. Hearing Eirene talk about bloodlines like they were something tangible and not just a matter of children being born to parents, but as something more, it was something a lot of people regardless of blood status did. Even James and his parents, despite never expressing blood superiority ideals still talked about bloodlines in a way that somewhat unsettled her with the weight it seemed to hold. The idea that the children she birthed could not be hers and it was just a matter of magic was somewhat horrifying.James walked in then, a floating tray of food with him, he had obviously heard the conversation and immediately understood Lily’s concern, because he placed the tray on the vanity table and came to sit beside her.“It is custom to have bloodline tests done Lils. I should have mentioned before but I forgot it isn’t normal for you. It’s just commonplace. Most magical parents just use it to track any magical inheritance or just as a safeguard to reassure elder family members and such that anything inherited is legitimate.” He smiled sheepishly at her unimpressed look and rubbed her arm comfortingly. She really would have preferred knowing that before so she didn’t appear uniformed or defensive in front of the midwife. “It really is just a couple of spells. No reason not to have them done really.” He murmured to her.Something in her still flipped at the thought, even though logically she knew it was better safe than sorry, especially since their children were already being targeted by Voldemort. Eirene had told her why they were so common-place and James had assured her that they were just protocol, but it still felt like she was being doubted even though she could see James was pleading with his eyes that it was all fine. Her pride was riled at the perceived insult and lack of trust. She frowned at him and then glanced at the twins. Her hand was already there resting on the stomach of the one closest to her. Their little girl had been squirming around much more than her brother, but she had settled more when Lily was touching her.It wasn’t as it the children looked strangely different to either of them, as newly born as they were. Both with dark hair on their heads like James, their daughter with a fuller head of head than their son, and somewhat pinker skin, probably from being born more recently. That was it really. Their eyes matched neither James nor Lily’s in a way that Eirene said was usual in new-borns, the eyes commonly started out blue to greyish in colour for light-skinned babies and often change in the next few months, usually settling into their new colour in the next year, or sometimes later into their childhood.So, there was no reason either of them would doubt her and Lily was probably letting the exhaustion and the tension she always felt around discussion of magical bloodlines play with her emotions when neither of them were at all doubting her.“If you want to, I don’t mind.” She finally settled on, letting James know the decision was up to him.“We don’t have to do it right now if you aren’t okay with it Lils. Eirene will be here for the rest of the day so let’s think on it okay. It’s not an obligation.” He obviously saw through her that she was uncomfortable and decided to set it aside for the time being. “Right now, just focus on eating and maybe deciding which of our babies names you think fit these two the best.”The smile that stretched his face when he turned to the twins and bent down to look at them closer was enough to make her mood change. He was adorable really and so were the twins. They’d quieted down after being placed beside each other and seemed pleasantly content to soak in the voices around them. Lily supposed they were used to each other’s presence.“We do have a veritable pool of names.” She smiled at James and then Eirene when she came closer and adjusted the tray so it was balanced stably over her lap, prompting her to sit up a little more so she was sitting rather than reclining, so she could eat comfortably. It made her miss her mother again.“James is right. There is no need to do it now if you are uncomfortable with it. You two take a moment. Enjoy your little ones and gain some of that energy back. I’ll be downstairs if you need anything.”“Feel free to help yourself to the food downstairs Eirene. Anything you want in the kitchen have at it.” James smiled at her, and she ruffled his hair. Lily was reminded that she had helped birth him in that moment.“I will do that young man.” She swiftly (and she was very swift for an eighty-year-old) made her way down to presumably do just that.That left the two of them and it was the first time they’d been alone since the beginning of her labour, and Lily was thankful for it. She felt a lot more settled just having him next to her.“You feeling okay Lils, that was a lot.” He brushed her hair back even though it had been neatly rebraided by him and there was no hair in her face. It was more to comfort her.“I’m okay. Just tired. And hungry.” She finally picked up the spoon that was on the tray, thankful for spells that kept food warmer for longer, all too happy to finally eat. James had made the potato and leek stew that she loved, and he had made it perfectly. It was an incredibly basic but one she had been raised on and was a comfort meal to her, complete with a thick cut of generously buttered bread on the side. James was an amazing cook, something his mother had taught him, and he could easily have made something a lot more complex than this with relative ease, but even without her saying anything he knew that she’d want something comforting that made her think of home. She tried not to cry at the fact she knew her mum would have made her something almost identical if she had been here. She failed.“What wrong? Is it awful?” He looked so panicked she laughed through the tears as she wiped her hand across her face.“No, it’s perfect. Just like my mum always made it.”Comprehension dawned on his face before his eyebrows scrunched in empathy and he leaned his head against hers and rubbed her back.“I’m sorry love. I know you wanted her to be here.”She did. She wanted her to be here so badly, but it wasn’t worth putting her in danger by bringing her into the magical world that hated people like her. She had to take comfort in the knowledge that her mother didn’t understand the danger Lily was in. And she was already so sick from the cancer, and still grieving her father who had died two years ago now, Lily couldn’t bring more pain to her by explaining what she was going through. In her last call she had been so excited by Petunia’s pregnancy that it had made Lily want to tell her about her own too, but she couldn’t explain why she wouldn’t be able to visit with the babies. She already didn’t have a good enough excuse for why she couldn’t come and visit even after the cancer diagnosis, given that her mother knew Lily could use magical means to appear in a blink of an eye if she wanted to. She was hoping once the twins were old enough, she could go and visit on her own, just to make sure she really was doing as well as she said she was. If not then she was hoping she could at least give her something to help bolster her strength to endure the cancer treatment, even if she couldn’t actually cure her.She cried a bit more in James arms before shaking out of it, not wanting to dwell on the sad moments. The twins seemed to be fussing more with her cries too. James picked up their boy and placed him against his chest, positioning Lily on his other side. Lily rubbed their daughter’s tummy to make her quiet down as well. She honestly had no idea what she was doing or how to make a baby stop crying.“I do, but she is safer where she is, and you have done a tremendously good job at taking care of me, thank you.” She leant in to give him a kiss once the babies seemed more calm, thankful she at least had him. He genuinely was amazingly sweet and so incredibly caring.Their son made a sound, which prompted their daughter to make one too and they broke away to check on them both but they seemed fine, apparently just taking the moment to remind their parents that their time of uninterrupted make-out sessions was now over.Still, James kissed the top of their sons head and placed his hand beside Lily’s on their daughter’s tummy, she was so little that both their hands were the size of her torso alone so she was blanketed by both of them.“You two want attention huh, well what should we name you? Which names will be yours my little troublemakers?”James used his magic to nudge Lily with the spoon again and she took the hint and began to eat again, watching James with the babies as she did, Lily began vetoing names James put out.“Violet?” They had wanted to do flower names if they had a girl, since it was somewhat of a tradition that Lily’s mum had started, and Violet had been one they had both considered and was high up on their list. But now she was in the world, Lily didn’t think it suited her.“I don’t think so.” James just nodded despite him suggesting it.“Me neither. Daisy?” Lily just looked at him. He was definitely teasing her. She had vetoed that one too many times. James liked it but she thought it too childish. She was a baby now, but what about when she was an adult? It wouldn’t fit her for her entire life. He rolled his eyes in humour.“Fine. Fine. We liked Rose though, didn’t we? Rosie maybe? It could be a nickname too. Rose-something.” Rose had been one that her mother had considered for her. But in the end her father had preferred Lily, especially when she came out with red hair. It was probably the one James and her considered the most. They had gone through a lot of Rose names. Rosalie. Rosabell. Rosaline. Rosanne.“Primrose?” This one she put forward herself. She liked it. A bit less common than simply Rose, but still a flower rather than a derivative or the Rose name. Kept with the theme a bit more. And they could always use Rose a nickname.“Primrose Potter.” James considered it. “Is it too many p’s? If we name her using alliteration, shouldn’t we do the same for him too? But we weren’t considering any P names.”That was true. All the P names they had considered were out of the running. Peter they might have considered but they couldn’t name a child for Peter and not Sirius or Remus. Especially not Sirius. He would absolutely riot and hold it against them for all time unless they named a child for him and Lily was not naming her child Sirius although James probably would if she let him, he had even mentioned that it was a relatively unisex name until she had shot him down. Paul and Parker, Lily had liked but James had not. Percy was one James had suggested but Lily had vetoed. Patrick neither of them had liked. They hadn’t suggested any others to her memory, certainly not any that both of them had liked.“Do they have to match? It’s not weird to give her an alliterative name and not him, right?”“No. I suppose not. We could give them matching middle names. Evan and Evelyn?” James grinned at her.They had considered naming any boy they had Evan for her maiden name but it felt a little weird for Lily to hear it as a first name, so they were considering it as a middle name. But…“Your parents were hoping we’d follow tradition and give any sons their fathers name as a middle name.”Fleamont and Euphemia had hinted somewhat obviously that they were hoping James and Lily might continue the tradition, and Lily knew James wanted to make them happy. Besides he been very supportive in all her name choices for any sons when she had asked to name them for her maternal grandfather, Henry. Her mother had been distraught when he had passed not long before her father passed too. It felt like too much to name her son for her father when she wasn’t done mourning him yet, besides they had had a complicated relationship, it felt a lot easier to name her for her grandfather who she had only ever known as a jolly old man, he had been a very happy father to four girls and it showed in how well he handled his granddaughters. She hoped her mother would appreciate it when they finally got the chance to introduce her to the twins.“We don’t have to.” He reassured her.“I know. But if we’re naming him for my granddad, and using flower names like my mother, I want them to be honoured too.” James smiled happily before shifting his hold on their son to look him in the face.“Have you decided then? I know you were stuck between the two. Henry or Harry. Which do you think suits him best? Or a longer version maybe.” He held him out to her, so she could examine him and she took a moment to lay the names over him in her mind.Henry. Harry. Henry. Harry. Harrison? Harold? The latter seemed somewhat dated to her, not that such a thing would particularly stand out in the wizarding world. If anything, he would fit in better. Still, she wanted it to suit him.“Harry Potter sounds better than Henry, I think. Harry James Potter?” She looked to James for his reaction.He had an approving look on his face as he analysed their son who was starting to fuss a little at being held out in the air.“Harry James Potter. It fits.” He kissed their newly named son and placed him back down next to his sister and they both watched him settle, before James spoke again. “If we were to match them, we would give her a ‘H’ name. Hyacinth?”“Hyacinth is nice. I like Heather too.” She murmured.James hummed. “I don’t love Heather.” He confessed.She nodded. They’d slowly learned that it was crucial to accept it when one another didn’t like a name. Lily in particular had been forced to realise getting upset with James for not liking a name was the highest point of hypocrisy considering how harsh she was with vetoing certain names. He liked to tease her by bringing up names she had already vetoed but he never actually pushed her on them. James was a lot more considerate of the fact that certain wizarding names seemed perfectly outlandish to her. She found it harder to accept sometimes that he felt the same about some of her suggestions.“Are we between Hyacinth and Primrose?” He asked her, questioning if there was another name she particularly wanted to add to consideration. They had an agreed upon list of course, but looking at her now, there weren’t many that she thought fit. She had really liked Iris and Azalea before, but they didn’t seem to fit her.“I think so.” She murmured, gently running one finger over the soft wrinkle on her daughter’s forehead where she had scrunched her face up.“Let’s think on it then. We have time.”She nodded and tried not to think about the part of her that nagged at her that everyone could keep telling her she had time, but decisions would have to be made soon enough. Decisions that, to her, seemed like incredibly big ones to make, for reasons that she couldn’t quite make sense of. Of course, naming a child was important but not dread-inducing. And most likely the bloodline tests would produce nothing but what they expected. James certainly didn’t seem concerned about them. So why did she feel like she was on a precipice?
20:00 O’clock
Later that evening, after Lily had made her first breast-feeding foray with twins and then finally taken a nap, Eirene checked her over once more and given her instructions for how to continue on her healing post-partum journey and answered any questions she had on caring for newborns, and then she checked the twins over too.They had still yet to decide on a name for their daughter. They kept going back and forth between Primrose and Hyacinth, Lily seeming to gravitate towards Primrose, and James to Hyacinth. But neither could make up their mind completely in favour of one name. Primrose Hyacinth Potter was considered. As was Hyacinth Primrose Potter.The decision that came first though, was whether or not to have the parentage and bloodline tests done.James had left the choice up to her but let her know there were more advantages than not. Sometimes, bloodlines gave children certain magical inheritances, such as the tendency for prophetic dreams or more explosive accidental magic, and because he had a lot of mixing of pureblood lineages in his ancestries there were a few things that could easily come forward that weren’t expected. The tests would just show if there was an unexpected predominance of one bloodline showing itself in their children. It would even show if there was any old ancestry in her own bloodline from generations back that she was unaware of. Apparently, these days almost no muggle-born was ever actually a muggle-born, most of them were all descendants of squib-lines, to different extents. Genuine muggleborn magicals did show up every now and then but it was uncommon.In the end, Lily just said yes. There was no reason not to, and Fleamont and Euphemia might be taken aback if they asked about it and learnt Lily had requested the tests not be done. Still, an odd, unsettling feeling persisted. It did fade after Eirene did the first set of tests on Harry and all was well.It wasn’t until she did the tests again on their daughter and suddenly frowned that that unsettled feeling flared right up again into dread.“Eirene?” Lily asked when the woman continued to say nothing. Lily glanced over at James who had also noticed the woman’s sudden silence and intense examination of the results.“Eirene? Is everything alright?” James was able to stand and walk closer to the woman who then seemed to hear them both and glanced between with a reassuring smile that didn’t really do anything to reassure them considering how off-footed the elder woman looked.“I’m going to do these tests again, more in depth. It seems there may indeed be an unexpected bloodline in this young one here.”Lily and James looked at each other in shock, but James recovered much faster than Lily.“That’s not a bad thing though, just unexpected.” He prompted Eirene who quickly agreed.“That is true, and just to clarify, she does still register as both of your bloodline so we aren’t looking at an attempt at removing parentage, and I doubt as well it was any intentional tampering, as that would most likely have shown up in both twins, rather I suspect it is a bloodline that has been brought forward for one reason or another most dominantly in this girl. I want to try and see to what extent and for what reason if we can find indicators.”The two parents sat close as they could, with Harry cradled in Lily’s arms, as Eirene performed a different set of spells, this time using some kind of magical apparatus that she summoned from her bag. Lily recognised it vaguely from studying her NEWT Level classes, it was some kind of indicator tool but she had studied many different apparatus used for quantifying and measuring spells that she couldn’t identify it specifically.“I do believe that this is the result of a natural magical reordering of things. In the sense that there are no curses or outside magic tampering with her bloodline. But she does present very apparently as a child of House Black, from the direct bloodline particularly, and whilst your bloodlines too are here, they are fainter than they should be, she doesn’t register as a child of House Potter, but rather as having Potter blood, far fainter than a direct progeny should register. James if I am correct, you have a very close bond with the current Black family heir, do you not?”James looked lost but nodded. Eirene hummed.“And did you decide to make his godfather to your children? Most specifically your daughter? Or your second-born?”James stared at her for a moment before his eyes widened.“Yes. I mean, we talked about it. I was always going to make Sirius godfather to one if not all of my children, but when we found out we were having twins we were talking about which one we would- there were a few prospects for godfather, and everyone wanted to be up for consideration, but I thought since my eldest would inherit my title, if we named Sirius the godfather to our second-born Sirius would have legal rights to leave his inheritance to them. And we did say, well we did say Sirius would suit being godfather to a girl. So, I suppose both really.”James and Sirius had talked about the inheritance issues since Sirius wanted to leave his personal wealth to James’ children, not let it be absorbed back into the Black family. The Black family laws were strict about who money could be left to. He couldn’t leave all his wealth to anyone outside of the family, and the main vaults weren’t to be accessed by anyone without Black family magic, but his personal wealth, which amounted to the set money given to each member of House Black upon attaining majority, and then what he would supplement it with from working as an Auror, could be left to his assigned heirs. So, the best solution to that scenario seemed to them be to name one of his children Sirius’s heir, so then they would have legitimacy by law and better yet, by the Black family laws, to inherit what Sirius left for them. To further cement that, to name James’ second-born his heir would mean the Black family couldn’t contest the inheritance based on dual-inheritance laws, since only James’ first-born would inherit his title and generational wealth by law.As for Sirius being a godfather to any girl, the idea had sprouted from a conversation they had had about the way he brazenly rejected wizarding societies social norms and didn’t let himself be led or forced into acting a certain way. The wizarding world, whilst being ahead of the muggle world in some aspects of gender equality, likely because strength was not defined at all by physical attributes, still held strongly misogynistic ideas around women’s roles as mothers. With such dominant ideals around bloodlines, women were pressured even more so than in the muggle world to continue their bloodlines or that of their husbands through becoming mothers. James and Lily had both agreed they didn’t want any daughters of theirs feeling as if they needed to. So having Sirius for a role model seemed a perfect idea. They wanted to provide good role models to their children and despite Sirius being somewhat reckless and careless, in some ways those traits were as positive as they were negative, it was that recklessness and disregard for rules that gave him a level of bravery that he could bulldoze through a lifetime of attempted indoctrination into forming his own opinions.They had talked also about what good role models Remus and Peter would make to any sons, since they were both men that were remarkably soft-spoken and calm in the way they interacted with others. Remus especially so, he was so similar to Sirius, he had that same carelessness in some ways, he still had that same individuality that he himself wasn’t often aware of, but often showed it in completely opposite mannerisms. James and Sirius were definitely the more boisterous of the quartet, and often so was Lily with her temper, so having the other two around to balance them was something they were hoping would provide their kids with a more balanced set of role-models. Really, whichever of their friends ended up godfather to their children, they were hoping they would all be present in their lives to act as good role models and safe guardians for them.What James had not expected was for that idea that they hadn’t even solidified yet to become something so much more than just a matter of role-models and who would inherit legal rights to their children should something happen to them.It was something that parents talked about in bedtime stories and cautionary wizarding tales. That of the blood of the godfather.That wasn’t even it’s proper title, since it was blood inherited from any godparent, but it was what people called it because the most known story, where a boy showed on the ancestral tree of his godfather, who claimed him as his own son, and took him from his parents to raise as his own heir, the original parents later ended up leading their entire family line to death in an attempt to gain immortality. It was the boy surviving under his godfather that allowed that ancestral line to live on, as one of his children inherited his original family’s bloodline.Which is likely why many pureblood families took the naming of godparents so seriously, because even outside of ‘blood of the godfather’ scenarios, who you entrusted your child to would secure your own legacy continuing on past you. And occasionally vice versa, a godchild could continue the godparent’s bloodline through an act of what most can only attribute to fate. It’s a rare transfer of parentage rights from metaphorical to material that only occurs because of magic itself intervening. It was never something that any parent actually wanted to happen, because it meant something would happen where their child would not be theirs for a myriad of reasons, but for the former reasons, it remained that the naming of godparents in magical society was often ceremonial and held in great importance.It made James fill with dread because it meant something would likely happen to them. Not unexpected considering the circumstances they were in. But why just their daughter? Why not Harry too? Because they hadn’t decided on which person to pick as Harry’s godfather? Remus or Peter. Lawfully Peter would be the more suitable choice, children’s services would surely give Remus hell for being a werewolf, but in terms of parenting ability, Remus was much mature and honestly their first choice if they didn’t assign them both to Sirius. Besides most likely any child assigned to Sirius would be raised by Remus too. They hadn’t discounted making Sirius godfather to both children, but surely if it was meant to be, Sirius would be Harry’s blood parent too…James was hit with sudden horrific thought. Maybe Harry didn’t need Sirius as a biological parent because whatever was going to take him and Lily away would take their son too. He tried his best to shake that thought, seeing Lily was looking incredibly confused at what Eirene was saying, and why James had gone silent after talking about how they had decided who was going to be whose godparent. He tried to rationalise the thought, maybe it had nothing to do with them dying, but more to do with Sirius needing an heir. Maybe awful things were about to befall House Black and they would be nearly wiped out and this was in fact an act of the House Magic to preserve their bloodline. But the Black family had married into practically every Ancient House, their bloodline was preserved everywhere… Still. It could be possible. Sirius was the heir after all, now that Walburga was dead and Lord Black had reinstated him. And Regulus was dead. James still hadn’t quite processed that. Sirius had told him a few months ago that one of the Death Eaters had thrown the knowledge at him in the middle of a fight to off-foot him. He had gone to check the death records at the Ministry and come back with a confirmation. So, James knew it would make sense. Sirius was the last legitimate member of the mainline to carry the Black name. James felt guilty for wishing destruction on the House of Black to try and justify his daughter inheriting Sirius’ bloodline, but he so desperately wanted there to be an explanation that did not require the destruction of his own family.He turned to Eirene.“You really think she has inherited the blood of her godfather? Could it be something else?”He saw her realise what he was really asking, his desperate desire to avoid tragedy for his family. To give him a different answer. He could see on her face that she didn’t have one.“What do you mean? Why would she inherit Sirius’s bloodline? Is that bad?” Lily questioned.He wasn’t quite sure how to explain it to her. He didn’t want to alarm her, but he was alarmed.The fact was that it was enshrined in law that any child born with blood of the godparent was legally considered the child of that godparent, not their birth parents. They would have to petition the government for rights to raise their child if they registered her and this was put on her birth certificate.It was made law because history showed that such transfer of parentage through magic’s will almost solely occurred when the child would otherwise be endangered or threatened, whether by the parents or simple bad luck. There were exceptions, where it was the godparent’s bloodline that was endangered, and people did petition for rights to continue raising their child on this basis, to keep them away from the alternative potential tragedy, but even then, they were supposed to be raised learning the customs and traditions of their dominant bloodline. The blood from the godparent takes precedence. Even though their daughter was technically still their daughter, their genetics were secondary.He breathed out heavily, looking at his daughter and trying to find the resemblance to Sirius, but she just looked like a newborn baby at the moment.Lily asked him again what he was talking about. He knew she hated not knowing things he was raised knowing, but this was a hard one to try and explain.Still, he turned to her to explain. Trying to be as to the point and brief as possible, just so she would get the general idea, but not enough that she would immediately start spiralling into everything that could go wrong.He failed obviously, Lily was panicking. She was asking questions he didn’t have the answers too. Eirene was there, and she was trying to answer them, and Lily was asking her if this had happened to her before, and if she was sure.The only thing James could think to do in the moment was pull out his wand and send a patronus charm.He needed Sirius to come here and help them figure this out.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Saturday, October 31st, 1981
Sirius felt the wards break. He had been keyed into them when they transferred the fidelius charm to Peter. It had been difficult to do, but Sirius had managed to adapt it to do as he needed it to. He hadn’t even told the others. Which he couldn’t be gladder for now.He had been on a Death Eater raid somewhere else when he felt them go off. A distraction, a set-up to keep their eyes away from what was really happening.It took him too long to disengage from the Death Eaters he was fighting and try and find somewhere to disapparate without standing still long enough to get hit.He tried to apparate directly to Godrics Hollow but found he couldn’t. He could break through the barriers to disapparate, but couldn’t reach his destination, he was repelled back with a crack. He tried again further out but from the cottage, but the same things repelled him. Strong anti-apparation wards had been erected as far out as he tried to appear. Even using his full might he couldn’t break through them. The panic was so harsh he had so swallow back bile.In the next moment he apparated back to the Auror office to grab a high-level ward-breaking device to disarm the wards, and as he did so another alarm went off, everyone was moving but no-one seemed to know where to go, then a patronus appeared in front of him. It was a plea from Frank Longbottom. Four Death Eaters had broken in.Sirius couldn’t go to his aid, he had to get to the Potters, but he couldn’t ignore the plea either. There were no Aurors in office who knew the Longbottoms were hidden, they had all been called away, and Sirius hated the realisation it was all a set-up. How the hell were all of the Order member Aurors with the location of the safehouses unavailable at the same time? He apparated back to the raid and had to dodge spells of Death Eaters who all seemed to be aiming directly for him, obviously they were under orders of who to focus on, he cast some spells that he was not supposed to as he fought to get Moody.“The Longbottoms and Potters are both under attack, this is a diversion! Get a ward breaker to apparate through the barriers and head to Longbottoms safe house. I need to go.” He called out to Moody and added on the whistled short three-burst tune they had settled on before the raid to confirm reappearances after apparating, waiting just long enough to hear him shout back the code word confirming that he was himself and would do as Sirius said and then he disapparated.He arrived in Godrics Hollow to the acrid smell of burning and James and Lily’s house set fiercely ablaze. The crackling of the house was audible as he just stood for a moment in shock, realising he’d been too late. The wards had broken less than ten minutes ago but from what he could see it was all already over.Dumbledore was the first person he saw, then Lily’s bright hair, less distinctive in the light of the bright orange flames, but still characteristic of her. James was beside her, and they were talking all huddled close with Dumbledore.It was obvious even from a distance that something was wrong with James. He looked out of it, but panicked, expression intense but eyes unfocused.There is a ringing in Sirius’s ears, everything seems muffled and he thinks he might tilt sideways and fall to the ground.He puts his feet one in front of another instead and runs right up to James.“Where are the twins?” It wasn’t what he had meant to ask, but he couldn’t see them. He wanted to ask James what was wrong too, but if something had happened to the twins then that would be a pointless question.James just grabs him bodily and then points behind to a contamination healers squad. How had Sirius missed them? They’re wearing complete protective gear and handling the twins, which Sirius thinks must be crying from the way Primrose’s face is all screwed up, but he can’t hear them crying. He wants to go grab her, but James tightens his grip on him.“Can you hear them James?” Is all he can think to ask.“What? Did you get hit with a spell?” James, grabbed Sirius’s head like looking at his ears could actually help him see if Sirius’s hearing had been cursed away. His hearing is strange though, because he can hear James. But not much else. He shakes his head to tell James, no he hasn’t been cursed, and also, let go of his head. Then he pauses. Honestly, he might have been cursed, but surely the spell would have taken all his hearing.“There were multiple raids. The Longbottoms are under attack too. Professor-” He starts in panic as he remembers what just happened. Seeing that Dumbledore is here, and obviously whatever happened here in Godrics Hollow produced no obvious casualties, he was forced to consider the fact that this too might have been a distraction. “He might be there. They were considered for the prophecy too. I sent Moody, but I don’t know if they’ve got things handled yet.”If Dumbledore could get to the Longbottoms, then they might be able to counter Voldemort. He had avoided all battlefields Dumbledore was at up to now. Hitting where they least expected. On their own, even if Moody was there, defending their new-born against four Death Eaters and possibly Voldemort too, they would be lucky to get out alive, let alone capture Voldemort.Lily and James both seem to have a bodily reaction to his words. But it’s Dumbledore that replies to him.“Sirius, my boy” His hearing seemed to be coming back in, because he could hear the twins crying now, and he understood why Lily seemed to be so tense being over here when the twins were there. It’s only James’ grip on him and the fact they are being handled by the contamination squad that stops him from going over there. He is barely listening to Dumbledore speak, so he doesn’t process it immediately when he says, “Voldemort is dead.”There is a pause as Sirius’s brain catches up with what he just heard.
Voldemort is dead.
Dumbledore is still talking, but it’s like Sirius’s head is underwater, and no charms will help him hear. He just looks at James. Stares at him. Looks at the terror and relief in his eyes, and realises it’s true. Voldemort is dead.He cuts back to reality and looks back to Dumbledore.“I’ll leave to assist Moody immediately.” He steps away with a nod, and Sirius just nods back because he missed everything else Dumbledore said but he isn’t going to stop him from going to help the Longbottoms.“James, I did not hear a word he just said past Voldemort is dead.”“He’s coming back so we have to stay here, or report to Aberforth if we do need to move somewhere before he returns.” James fills in. Lily is still silent. She’s watching the twins with unmoving eyes.“James, what happened? Where is Peter?”The sudden realisation struck him. Peter was babysitting the twins tonight. Lily’s mother had lost her battle to cancer and the funeral had been today. Lily and James had planned to stay till tomorrow so Lily could try and talk with Petunia. It was a risk, but mainly for Lily and James since they would be exposed. The twins were supposed to be the safe ones. Sirius was going to check in early tomorrow morning to make sure everything was fine. If the fidelius charm fell that meant they found Peter somehow and he was dead.“Tell me he isn’t dead James, he can’t be, surely.”The absolute wretched face James made was one Sirius hadn’t seen before. Not even when Marlene had died, and then Dorcas too days later, taking revenge for her wife.“Peter betrayed us.” It was Lily that actually spoke. It was the first time she had spoken since he arrived, and when he looked at her, ice crawling down his spine at her words, he saw the fury in those dark green eyes of hers.Peter had betrayed them.He looked at James, but James was sinking to the ground, fist still gripped in Sirius’s covert Auror robes. Sirius had no choice to go with him. Actually, he had realised his own legs felt weak until his knees hit the ground with a sharp pain. Then they went numb.He just sat there for a moment, holding James against him as his brother let out a choked-out sob that didn’t end, the beginnings of him hyperventilating. He just kept on breathing in without breathing out. Sirius had to grab the back of his neck and press his wand against James’ chest to get his breathing properly. He sat there, helping James breathe for a few minutes. Lily eventually seemed to give in and fell to her knees too, just resting her hand on James’ back and waiting for him to pull himself back together.Sirius doesn’t understand. The rage is there. His chest feels about to burst and he understands exactly why James can’t breathe right now, and if he wasn’t holding James together right now, he probably would be failing to breathe right too. But the rage is dampened by shock. Peter had betrayed them? Peter had given the twins up?It didn’t make any sense. Peter loved the twins. He had spent hours painting their room with griffins and phoenixes, even though they would move back into Potter Manor once the war was over, Peter said he would be happy to paint their nursery there too. He had even been hesitant to become the secret keeper, had said he didn’t know if he should, if he was the right person. But they had insisted he was the best person. Peter had even suggested Remus and several other people who might be the better option. Sirius and James had said no to all of them.Peter had suggested Remus, and Sirius had said no. His chest was so tight. The realisation wouldn’t leave him alone. He was sure he was going to vomit. They had trusted Peter over Remus. They had even had the possibility of asking Remus to be the secret keeper, but Sirius had told James, no. They hadn’t even told Remus they were changing the secret keeper. And it was because of Sirius. Because he had thought he knew best. He had thought he knew best that changing the secret keeper would be an excellent idea. That he would be the perfect Red Herring. He had thought Peter would be the perfect fit, because he had no alternative obligations. Remus was a werewolf. He had been at least partially accepted into Greyback’s pack, with Greyback finding him amusing, as Remus had told them when asked why Greyback was letting him show up despite not swearing allegiance. Dumbledore had said it was good. That Remus could try and win the pack over and keep them out of the fight. But Sirius knew there was a chance the wolf pack would win Remus over. Not to fight, but to leave them. Remus had quietly told him once that sometimes being with the wolves was so much simpler than living like this, and Sirius hadn’t been able to get it out of his mind since, the knowledge that at least some part of Remus wanted to leave. Remus wasn’t the traitor, Sirius knew that, he always knew that. Because he knew Remus, but he also knew his friend was tired of this war, that he had struggled so much after leaving Hogwarts to be allowed entry anywhere, and the wolves welcomed him even though they all knew he would never actually follow Greyback.Sirius had justified not telling him to James and Lily and Peter by saying that he hadn’t wanted to put more on Remus’s shoulders by sharing this secret, and part of it was true, part of it was fuelled out of his genuine love for Remus, he had not wanted to add even more burdens to the man he cared for so deeply, but the other motivation he had never voiced was that small bitterness, that selfish part of him that resented that Remus even thought about a life without him in it. He had allowed that part of him to convince himself that Peter was the better option, that he could withstand more. Veiled it under the pretence he was doing it for Remus.What a joke that had turned out to be. Sirius never thought he would be more ashamed of himself than the day he had to look Remus in the face after sending Snape to go find him under the height of the full-moon. He had thought nothing else could ever eclipse the self-deprecating hatred he had felt in the days and weeks following it. He had promised Remus he would never ever be so reckless of foolhardy again.He had failed.Evidently.How the fuck was he going to explain this to Remus? How was he going to look him in the eye ever again?
Remus, we didn’t tell you the truth because I was bitter over the fact you were so tired of this war you confessed to me in complete honesty and without pretence, that sometimes you thought about just not coming back. Even the fact you thought it without ever acting on it was crime enough in my eyes. I wish you had never told me that.
He slumped against James, fighting so hard to not scream. He wanted to scream so badly. Nothing seemed good. James was alive. The twins were alive. Lily was alive. But nothing was good.He didn’t want to look at Lily again, because there had been anger in her eyes and he couldn’t stand to see her look at him with anger. He had been the secret keeper. It had been fine. Everyone was trying to kill him every single day and he had been terrified they might succeed, but he had been fine. They should have kept it that way. The kids would have been safer if they had just kept it that way.He held onto James instead of looking at Lily again. James wasn’t angry with him. James was falling apart, and he was relying on Sirius to hold him together right now, so Sirius was going to do that. That was what he was going to do.They just stayed there. Even as Lily stood up and walked away, towards the twins. James and Sirius breathed together as they listened to the medics telling Lily they were nearly finished with the examinations and they would just be a few minutes more. She could stand there and watch if she wanted.“Dumbledore said we need to think about the rest of the prophecy.” James whispered next to him. The air was cold and Sirius could see the air he expelled as he sighed.“What about it?” Sirius murmured. He didn’t want to think about the prophecy. He wanted to turn back time. He wanted to say sorry to Remus. He wanted to get his hands on Peter and scream at him to give him one good reason for this. To give him a reasonable explanation for this. He wanted to go to sleep. He was tired. He wanted James to drag them both up and go get the twins and Lily and go somewhere safe. But they were still waiting for the medics to announce the twins didn’t need to be confined, and they still needed to wait for Dumbledore to come back, and they needed to find out if Alice and Frank and their little one had survived it.“The lost child. The forgotten child.” James says. He doesn’t even wait for Sirius to ask. He keeps talking.“Dumbledore says, he thinks the prophecy references all three of them. Harry. Prim. Neville. He said before he left that it’s up to us to decide which one our daughter will be.”Sirius freezes. He knows James does not mean to phrase it the way he does. He’s just directly quoting Dumbledore. But he’s all too aware that even though when James says ‘our daughter’ he means him and Lily, but what Sirius hears is his daughter. It’s a sharp reminder of what they have all tried very hard to ignore this past year. That in truth, she is his daughter. And he does not like the insinuation of what Dumbledore seems to be suggesting.He doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t know what to say. Nothing seems to be the right thing to say.So, he says nothing, and James doesn’t say anything else either. Eventually, they hear the healers clear the twins, and in silent agreement they pull themselves together and get off the floor.The twins are ultimately fine, though shaken and both with cursed scars. The cursed residue is deemed non-dangerous as far as they can tell, although they have failed to accurately identify what exactly it is. Sirius finally finds out the reason the twins were being so thoroughly examined was because when Dumbledore and the Potters arrived on the scene, Voldemort was dead, the twins were both bleeding but alive, and the house was on fire. There was Dark Magic residuals everywhere, and particularly on the twins, but when they cast prior incantum on the wand to discover what the last spell that was cast was, it was the Killing Curse. Except although injured, the twins were very much alive, and no-one understood what had happened, unless someone else had taken the curse, but there were no other bodies. So no-one could figure it out.Harry has zig-zag scar, which, as Dumbledore points out when he returns, is eerily shaped like the wand movements for the killing curse, whereas Prim’s scar is on her shoulder and seems to be far more like the scar of residual backlash, like lightning branching out across the sky. Dumbledore seems pretty certain about what that means for the prophecy. Voldemort seems to have aimed at Harry, and Harry seems to have survived it.Which puts him at the centre of the prophecy.Sirius wants him to stop talking the moment the word prophecy leaves his mouth, but of course, he doesn’t, and the conversation only gets worse from there.James is tense beside him, Prim in his arms (Lily hadn’t seemed to want to relinquish either of the children to him, particularly not Prim, but after a short staring contest where nothing was said but Sirius got the impression that a lot was said, James had won out). Lily hasn’t looked at anyone except Harry since James took Prim from her. Not even Dumbledore. Not even Primrose. Dumbledore keeps speaking though.They were able to arrest all of the Death Eaters that attacked the Longbottoms, but it didn’t change the outcome. Apparently, although the Aurors responded very quickly after receiving the plea for help from the Longbottoms, the Death Eaters had set up a boundary to stop patronuses from getting out, and the patronus had only gotten through multiple hours after it was sent, seemingly when Voldemort had died and the Death Eaters finally faltered enough for the wards to falter too and the patronus to slip out. Frank and Alice Longbottom were comatose when the Auror’s arrived. They had been taken to St Mungos for emergency medical care, but no-one had high hopes. The impact of being help under the cruciatus curse for multiple hours without reprieve was well-known. Most likely, Frank and Alice would not return to themselves, their winds were gone. They would have trouble recognising their own son.The forgotten child, Dumbledore filled in what they were all already thinking.He supposed that meant they didn’t need to think about which one Prim was supposed to be, like James had said Dumbledore instructed them to do. There was only one left now. The lost child.Dumbledore continues to explain, to talk about what he thinks the prophecy means. Talking about the significance of the twins possessing different but similar cursed scars both from Voldemort himself, with Neville having none, and what that could mean for the prophecy, why he thinks he is even more certain the prophecy refers to each of the three children, but Sirius isn’t interested in hearing it.“Currently with the prophecy so vague, the uncertainty is too much of a risk for us to let it take its course on its own, if we can gently guide it, then we can ensure the safety of both the children and…”He himself had not been privy to the prophecy but James had recounted it to him and he knew the important bits – a child born to those who thrice defied the Dark Lord, a child marked by the Dark Lord himself, a child lost, a child forgotten, they didn’t know whether the prophecy was talking about the same child or different ones, but Dumbledore seemed very sure now.“Have you thought any further about my earlier proposition? I truly think it will be the best possible scenario.” Dumbledore finally finishes. Looking to Lily and James again.The silence is heavy. James looks like a deer in headlights, (the metaphor isn’t funny like it usually is) like he wasn’t even anticipating the question, even though Sirius knows he had to have been, he had told him earlier they had already talked to Dumbledore about this. Lily looks grim but determined, she seems sure.They had already decided it was going to be her before he even got here, he realised like a bludger to the chest. They don’t seem at all surprised at what Dumbledore is saying. Of course, they already knew the prophecy. They have heard it before. Had they already talked about what to do? Had they already decided which of their children to assign which role, or did they have a plan to lose or forget each child depending on how things played out? It made no sense. Those weren’t things you could orchestrate, clearly, considering how things had played out today. But Dumbledore was talking like that was exactly what he intended to do, and James and Lily weren’t arguing.He is looking at Lily and James, with a growing fury in his chest, because they cannot make this decision without him. Do they really think they can do this without talking to him about it? He’s stuck thinking about how Lily won’t look at her daughter after James took her from her. He’s now staring at how James is holding Prim, staring at her. His breathing is still shaky, and Sirius isn’t sure if it’s just the shock of it all anymore or if it’s something more. His shoulders are clenching more the longer Sirius stares at him.“I think it’s probably for the best too.” Lily finally speaks, and she’s looking at Dumbledore. She’s not looking at James and Prim, she certainly isn’t looking at Sirius.“James, do you agree with this plans?” Dumbledore asks.It’s like Sirius really isn’t here. No one seems to want to fill him in. No one has asked his opinion on this. No-one is going to tell him what exactly this proposition Dumbledore made is about.All of a sudden, Sirius has had enough.He moved quickly, James doesn’t even realise what he has done until he has done it, and then Primrose is in his arms, and James looks like he’s swallowed something by accident, and he’s just staring at Sirius. Lily and Dumbledore are looking at Sirius now.“Fill me in.” He demands. He takes several steps back to put space between them all so no-one can think to try and grab Primrose out of his arms.“Ah, my apologies Mr Black-” Dumbledore starts.“Heir Black.” Sirius doesn’t even realise he has said it until he has and then it hangs there in the air in front of all of them. The line he just drew. The reminder he had always been happy to dismiss in the past. But he needs it today. All of a sudden, he is reminded of what his Grandfather taught him growing up. Titles have power. They command respect. They remind people what you are capable of. They also exist to put a distance between you and other people.Dumbledore realises exactly what Sirius means, and he sees that James does too.“My apologies, Heir Black, I thought Heir Potter had filled you in.” Dumbledore continues, and the use of James’s title too seems like a warning, but Sirius isn’t concerned with it. He just stares at Dumbledore. “I suggested that it might be best to remove Primrose from the magical world for a time, in order to fulfil the prophecy in a way that would not be detrimental to her, or to anyone else.”To her, or to anyone else.Now what an interesting phrase.Sirius hated it.Because he knew what it meant.The prophecy spoke of a child lost and the fact was, that could mean to many things, both literal and immaterial. It could mean the death of a child, a child becoming literally lost, or any number of ways a parent could lose a child whilst still knowing where they were. The one Dumbledore spoke of obviously, was like a voluntary loss, letting her be taken somewhere else, and losing time with her, having her grow up elsewhere. But the one he was suggesting was the possibilities of what could happen. Years from now, it was possible to lose a child to politics or to war. He knew. His parents had long considered him lost to them, because of the choices he had made. He could see how the prophecy could be interpreted by the opposing side, to their advantage. To turn the ‘lost child’ to their side.Sirius knew how easily that could be done too. He remembered what a sweet child Regulus had been. He remembered realising he had completely lost his little brother when he stared across the Great Hall at eyes so like his own that just looked completely bereft of any fondness or light in them. Regulus had been right there, but his brother had been lost. He had thought Hogwarts might be a turning point for his brother the way that it had been for him, but if anything, it had seemed to do the opposite, pull him further and further away, until they would sooner hex each other than speak two kind words.Sometimes you took a gamble, and it didn’t pay off. In a time of war especially, it was a possibility many parents didn’t want to acknowledge, that they fretted silently over, or simply chose to be wilfully blind to. That they couldn’t always ensure their children wouldn’t choose the wrong path when they sent them away to school. That they might be tempted in different directions by their peers, by the pressures of pureblood society that was entrenched even in the first-year ranks.But that was a risk that every parent took when they sent their child off to Hogwarts. Surely, that was no reason to send a child away for the entirety of her childhood. It might not even change anything when she did attend Hogwarts, it might even make everything worse.And sure, maybe hiding her in the muggle world would make it more difficult for anyone to influence her before then, but it just made her vulnerable in an entirely new way.Sirius was running his mind in circles trying to see how this was even being considered.But, looking at Lily and James, at Lily in particular, who seemed so sure, he knew why they would pick this particular option. Because it allowed them to orchestrate losing her in a way that would ensure they could get her back.All of a sudden, he was vividly reminded of the promise he made. He never actually forgot it. What he had sworn to them that day the twins had been born and that line had descended down from his name on the Black family tree.
I will never take her from you.
He had lied.He had lied truly thinking he would never break that promise.But Mother Magic had designed this. She was the mother of all magic, and of all things, including prophecy and fate. This was no strange circumstance, this was inevitable.He had been wilful, and tried to defy her will. Ignore her wishes.She was speaking to him now. Not with words, but by putting him in a scenario so blatant he could not possibly ignore her twice.“Mother Magic would weep. She does not intend for one of her children to be raised amongst muggles.”He spoke to James and to Lily. Dumbledore was a part of the war, true, but he was not a part of this family, and he did not get to make this decision. In truth, neither did Lily and James, but they did have to hear his decision.“You will lose her though.”Lily drew her wand.Sirius disapparated before she could raise it.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
November 1st, 1981
Andromeda was more than used to living with discomfort. And she didn’t mean the material kind. Though she could live with physical discomfort, having a good tolerance for pain, but she was even more used to living with emotional and internal discomfort.Having been brought up in the family she was, her only comfort had been in her solitude, and at times in her sisters and the kinder of her cousins. Even then, it had never been complete. She had never had the peace of mind to leave her wand around the house or in her room. Even though most times it did her little good, she still had access to its familiar sense of loyalty that she felt so little of anywhere else.Hogwarts had been different. Surrounded by many other students and sentient portraits, there was never really any place for true solitude, but despite its oftentimes unsafe environment (moving stairs and magical creatures in the forest and lake) it was more comfortable than her home, where her parents controlled their actions. There was a freedom she had been granted at Hogwarts that had previously been alien to her.Then she had met Ted and it hadn’t been hard to fall in love – hard to let herself do so and hard to work out how to function in a relationship with another person (particularly when they had to keep it secret till their graduation) – but not hard to fall in love.But she had found over the years, that love often wavered. Sometimes she would wonder whether it had really been love (it had been – she had determined that much was true), then she would wonder whether having a child had been the right thing at the time (though Nymphadora had been a surprise and a challenge she wouldn’t lie – though that would be true for many children – Andromeda felt a disturbing hole in her life when she imagined it without her exuberant daughter), then she would wonder if it hadn’t been having a child that had set her feelings out of place, but who she was raising her with (if she was being honest here, she thought a lot of the time she would do better on her own, it seemed Ted and her fought more over how the right way to do things was, than they spent actually doing anything).That and a million other things. One being how his family didn’t much like her. They had thought Ted would settle down with a ‘nice girl’, which apparently she didn’t, nor had ever qualified as (that wasn’t as much an insult as it seemed to be). Too stern. Didn’t smile enough. Had little interest in muggle things (it wasn’t little interest, she had tried them, but found the spells she knew worked better, and not only were easier, but quicker too).Not to say Andromeda didn’t have her issues with them as well. They adored Nymphadora, that much was obvious, but it rubbed her completely the wrong way how they treated her metamorphmagus abilities like party tricks. Nymphadora didn’t seem to mind too much at the moment. She loved her abilities, which Andromeda knew was a good thing, and she wasn’t about to stop her from using them, but she knew there would come a day Nymphadora might not be as confident in herself as she was now at the age of five. Andromeda still remembered every incident Narcissa had had over her appearance. She had always looked more like a Malfoy than a Black. Something that had always made people whisper. That had been part of the reason she had gotten attached to Lucius, who had made the point of saying that if they were related it was through very distant relatives and if anyone else commented on Narcissa’s light features, he would hex them because ‘by now it’s insulting, she does not have to verify her family tree for your sake, if you think it is any of your concern that’s purely wishful thinking on your end I assure you’. Andromeda had pointedly not raised how Lucius was very cutting about other people’s familial relations; it had made Narcissa happy, and no-one else had seemed inclined to point it out either, so she had let it lie. Narcissa’s abilities were not that of a metamorphmagus, there was no changing at will involved (Andromeda had often wondered at veela connections, the changing and the light hair, but had never mentioned it) but it was definitely something that ran in the family.And then there was that. Her family was never a small matter. Never had been, never would be. So the way Ted dismissed the rift that existed between her and her family created a tension she wasn’t even sure he was aware of.Yes, her parents were cruel, manipulative, abusive, and obsessively controlling. Though thankfully they had relocated to France and whilst there contracted a magical ailment to which they had lost their lives to. She didn’t miss them.But her sisters had once both just been children like her and she had grown up alongside them. Her youngest cousin was dead. Perhaps he had died fighting on the wrong side, but that didn’t stop the ache that came with knowing his future no longer existed and that she would never get see his face animated again. They hadn’t even found Regulus’s body. He had faded from black to silver on the family tree. She had found out in the newspaper.Narcissa was married (they used to plan each other’s weddings as children, and when the time came, Andromeda hadn’t even been welcome to write her sister a letter to say congratulations) with a son (they had thought out names together too. Ones derived from both constellations and myths, a Black traditional name they could pass down to their children, though they would take the father’s family name). Andromeda had found that all out in the Daily Prophet too. Which she knew all too well printed lies and embellished truths more than they did fact. That was what she relied on to learn anything about her younger sister. Whenever she mentioned it, all she got was a comment to forget about her family anyway. They had disowned her.Now she was staring down at her older sister’s face snarling up at her from the second page of the Daily Prophet (unfortunately, she had the sick sinking feeling the words her eyes had found weren’t lies this time) placed in front of her by her husband.Was it the circumstances that meant his presence went beyond even just mildly irritating to her, or had that been happening for a while now?She was starting to wonder when she’d started living with how she felt in no longer being completely comfortable around him, and when it had been that she had started wanting to live without it.Andromeda refused to break the silence first. Her eyes had caught the message on the top of the page the moment she had seen it, and she hadn’t been able to stop the horror from mounting inside her, but she wasn’t going to fall apart.“That is your sister Andromeda.” Ted put it out there like they had already had a conversation prior to that statement.When had she started thinking of their daily arguments as ‘conversations’ rather than the disputes they were?“Really? I couldn’t tell.” That came out sounding more like Bellatrix than she had intended it to. Thankfully Ted had never spent enough time around her older sister to realise that.That was probably why he was still talking to her instead of backing away. Over the past few years she had been in only two situations where she had interacted with the magical community enough for anyone to mistake her for Bellatrix or identify that she was related to her. Each time Andromeda had done the first thing she could think of and told them harshly to back off before apparating away. Not the kindest thing she had ever done and certainly not good for her reputation, but she had figured using Bellatrix’s sadistic reputation to get her out of a fix had been better than waiting around for someone to alert either the Aurors or for Bellatrix herself to find out she was there.Her elder sister had made it quite clear the last time she had seen Andromeda exactly what she would do if they ever met again.It had been the first time Andromeda had truly feared for her life. Of course, over the years, she had always been fearful of her parents and then the impending war, but she had always managed to position herself well enough to stay out of the way. Being the centre of Bella’s fury had been terrifying because for the first time she was the sole focus of her sister’s psychotic side, and that had not been a nice experience.Suffice to say, the more she resembled Bellatrix, the wiser it was to leave her alone to calm herself.For a Ravenclaw, Ted wasn’t so wise.“Well, aren’t you going to say anything?” He slapped the broadsheet down on the table.She’d been drinking tea. In a perfectly reasonable mood, soaking in the last moments of solitude before Ted and Nymphadora returned from visiting Ted’s family.Now, she could answer this question one of two ways. She could say ‘No’, or:“I was of the impression you thought anything to do with my family was irrelevant seeing as I was disowned?”Ted stared at her mutely, the understanding that she was dancing around with her words set him seething silently.“What do you want me to say?” Which was of course, an invitation to not share anything he had wanted her to say because she did not care to cater to what he wanted from her in this context, or in fact, any other context.The churning in her stomach didn’t distract her or make her anxious about the argument. This sick feeling wasn’t for Ted. It was for Bella. Some small part of her that had hoped for some form of reconciliation shrivelled up inside of her and dropped to lie in the pit of her stomach, dead. You couldn’t reconcile with someone that no longer existed.And that was what this showed her. The sister she had once loved, perhaps not in the most straightforward way, but loved nonetheless, was gone. Andromeda couldn’t love who Bellatrix Lestrange was. She could only mourn for the girl her sister had once been. When she had still held the chance of becoming something more than what now was.“I guess I just expected you to have more of a reaction.”“Why is that?”Ted started turning on his heel before turning back to her, arms crossed tightly, shoulders bunched together and jaw tight.“I don’t want to play this game Andromeda! Why do we always have to do this?”“I am not playing a game.” She uttered the words sharply but didn’t spit them. This would not become a screaming match. “I asked you a question. But if that one wasn’t good enough for you, I will give you another one: What reaction did you expect me to have?”He fumbled for a moment.“…I thought you cared about your family.”“Family isn’t so simple, but I suppose if you want to put it that way, I care to know what happens to them. As everyone does with their family.” Not necessarily true but generally considered so.“Most people don’t have psychopaths for family members.”Andromeda turned her face to him, glaring from where she was sat.“Every family is different.”“Not sadist, torturing, lunatic, getting-locked-up-in-Azkaban different Andromeda.” What an illuminating insight he had provided her. Andromeda stared back out the window, wishing she was alone again.“You seem to be basing my whole family off of one individual.” She ran her thumb up and down the body of her teacup, it was getting lukewarm now. She lifted it to take a drink.“Oh, I’m sorry, should we discuss it over tea?” Ted put the most patronisingly ridiculous voice on ‘tea’ that she was tempted to lose all self-restraint and throw hers in his face.Instead she took a sip. Reminding herself Nymphadora was upstairs.“I don’t much care to, no.” She uncrossed her legs, standing up from the kitchen table. “You started this conversation, if you’re done now I’m going to finish it.”She didn’t bother with casting a warming spell on the rest of her tea, pouring it down the sink.Ted was silent as she did so and crossed back over the room to leave, but she knew he was waiting to have the last word as always.“I don’t know why I expected any different from you.” There. His voice pitched like what he had said was humorous.“That’s impressive seeing as from what I could gather you didn’t seem to have anything to expect at all.”Andromeda moved up the stairs swiftly, the image of Bellatrix and her demented manner from the black and white photograph printed on the paper downstairs trying to take precedence in her mind. But Andromeda knew she wouldn’t be able to think about this until she had a moment to herself for it to all hit her.“Mummyyyy!” Nymphadora sat up off her bed where she had been playing with her toys to run and greet her mother. It had occurred to Andromeda that Ted must have told Nymphadora he had wanted a talk with her first for Nymphadora not to already have run and greeted her.Luckily, she seemed blissfully unaware of what had just gone on downstairs, grinning ecstatically at her mother with her favourite bright pink hair.“Hello Nymphadora.” She returned the enthusiastic hug. Dropping a kiss on her daughter’s head as she did so. She seemed to have gotten taller since the last time Andromeda had done so.Which had been last week.“Darling, you know I told you it’s bad for your growth to stretch your body so much when you’re still a child. You might hurt yourself.” She looked sternly at her daughter, who drooped disappointed, but screwed up her face and fists as her height reverted to what it usually was. “You know I only do it because you might get hurt. Don’t pout. Once you are older and have finished growing, you can change whatever you like. But for now, remember why I want you to limit it. Hair is okay. Eyes are fragile. Body is…”“Still growing.” Her daughter finished dutifully. “I know. I’m sorry.”“You don’t have to say sorry Nymphadora, just take care of yourself.” She smiled at her.Her daughter perked up immediately. Never one to linger on a moment that could be spent doing something else.“Mama, you’ll never guess what I got from granny!” Her daughter clambered up on her bed and immediately grabbed her pillow to place over the new muggle toy Andromeda had noticed she’d been playing with when she had first walked in. Andromeda hadn’t looked too closely at it.“Oh, is it a…” Andromeda placed her hand on her chin and hummed. Her daughter giggled and Andromeda didn’t bother hiding her smile at the sound. Which made Nymphadora giggle more. She kept humming until the brightly laughing child shook her head.“No mama, you have to guess!”“Alright, alright then… a hedgehog?” Her daughter almost shrieked with laughter. Andromeda was continuously struck with how easily laughter came to her daughter. It was a trait she was very fond of.“Noooooo, mummy be serious.” The sudden urge to crack one of the puns her cousin so loved was just on the tip of her tongue ‘I’m not Sirius, I’m Andromeda’ but she swallowed it down. Nymphadora wouldn’t have the faintest clue what she meant.“I was being serious. Deadly serious.” She wiggled her fingers for emphasis.Pink hair shook as her daughter showed her how true she thought that was. Large grin still present.“Oh, well if you’re going to make me guess then why don’t you give me a clue?” Andromeda sat down on her daughter’s bed as she amused her by trying to guess what her new toy was.She spent about an hour with Nymphadora before her father’s voice called her down for tea. She must have been hungry after the trip, Andromeda supposed.“Are you coming mummy?” Her daughter looked up at her, fingers wrapping around as much of her hand as she could reach.Andromeda hadn’t realised until that moment after catching her daughter’s face how much she must have caught between her parents. She looked almost nervous. Whether that was because she wanted her mother to come downstairs or not to, Andromeda couldn’t tell.“In a few moments my darling.” She ruffled her daughter’s hair, before letting her go down the stairs to the kitchen.“Okay.” Nymphadora made her way down the stairs quickly. Which always made Andromeda pause and wait to make sure she got down safely.Andromeda felt twice as heavy with Nymphadora downstairs. She didn’t have her to distract her from her thoughts.There wasn’t much to do really, only learn to accept the facts.Andromeda hated it. Just as she always had. The knowledge that she could only stand by and watch the proceedings and deal with how they impacted her life without being able to have any say in it.She was stuck here, in this house with a husband she no longer loved, and whom she was only staying with for the sake of her daughter, whilst the outside world was falling to pieces and she was impacted by the actions of her family who she no longer had any contact with.She almost started crying, blinking to hold back the tears as she reiterated the thought internally. That was it wasn’t it? The only reason she was still here was for Nymphadora’s sake. She didn’t want to be here. Couldn’t remember the last time she had. Not since Nymphadora was four years old she reckoned. Over a year ago.After a moment she dried her eyes for the tears that hadn’t fallen and straightened her daughter’s bed sheets out before turning and heading back downstairs.She could work this out. Now the war was over things would blow over and her and Ted would get better without the stress of the war and all the issues with blood supremacy being so prominent in all of their minds. They would have too. For Nymphadora’s sake.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Friday, November 6th, 1981
Five days. It had been five days since he had returned from the werewolf pack in Ireland upon the end of the war. The first thing he had done was track down Lily and James, knowing wherever they were then everyone else would be too.Except they weren’t. Whilst he had been away, everything had fallen apart. Peter had been a traitor and was now incarcerated in Azkaban. Something they had never thought possible, and that knowledge had stung. A lot. Not just Peter’s betrayal, but that they had trusted Peter more than him and, in the end, Peter had been the one to betray them.Then he learned that Lily and James, with Dumbledore’s advice, had planned to hand Primrose over to Lily’s muggle sister’s family in order to fulfil the prophecy that spoke of a lost child rather than risk the chance of her being indoctrinated against them by any future dark wizards who might target the possible lost child of the prophecy and manipulate her.That had gone awry when Sirius had refused to go along with it, and not only had he taken Primrose but had officially claimed her, as was his right as her father by blood and magic. She was gone from the Potter family tree. No faint line, no death date, just as if she never existed at all. She wasn’t even catalogued in Hogwarts books anymore, which meant Sirius had re-written her name and bloodline when he claimed her fully. It wasn’t something Remus had ever expected him to do. Lily and James had been so distraught upon finding out about their daughter’s parentage upon birth, and Sirius had always seemed so guilty about it, swearing he would never claim her.Obviously, that had changed dramatically in the time he had been gone and Remus didn’t know what to think. He didn’t agree with Lily and James’ decision to give Primrose away, no matter their justification of wanting to prevent something worse, but he could tell they were devastated. Honestly, he wasn’t sure they had been thinking straight at all when they made the decision, and now it was entirely out of their hands, by law, magic, and even blood, they no longer had a daughter and there was really nothing they could do about it, because no-one would go against the will of Mother Magic herself.He needed to speak to Sirius. He felt he was missing most of the story, it seemed so dire and honestly, he had just missed him. Peter was a traitor. Lily looked like she didn’t want to see him when he showed up and James just looked lost. Thankfully Fleamont and Euphemia seemed to be holding it together for both of them, otherwise he would have been concerned to leave.James had stared at him when he had left and he knew they all knew he was going to go to Sirius, the current point of contention in the Potter household, Lily in particular seemed to place the blame for this primarily at Sirius’s feet, even if James was still seemed to think things could be fixed, but in truth, Lily had been struggling with Primrose’s parentage from the moment she had given birth and Remus could understand why she was breaking now. He was surprised she hadn’t done it earlier honestly.To have your child just stripped away in an instance when you were mentally drained and had been trying to make a difficult choice was something he had no basis for, no real way to understand. He was sure it was, but he didn’t really blame Sirius either. He would never say it to either of them, but she was Sirius’s daughter too. Entirely now, it seemed. Maybe if they had properly acknowledged that earlier then this would not be happening.He couldn’t bring himself to give up his friendship with Sirius for their sake, he simply didn’t want to lose Sirius and he needed to see him, to be able to ask him questions. He hadn’t been able to bring himself to question them about Peter, but he knew he could ask Sirius without him breaking. He hoped he could anyway. The not knowing was eating away at him.But he had no idea where to find Sirius. Remus had retreated to the cottage he had grown up in as a child, the one his father had left to him after he’d moved out. No longer able to live in the house filled with memories of their family after Remus’s mother had died. It was drafty, and Remus, so deep in his thoughts, hadn’t bothered to rectify the cold seeping into the house. He was used to it anyway.His thoughts were on how to find Sirius. Pulling out his wand he gathered up one of his fondest memories, ones from his time at Hogwarts, when things were simpler.“Expecto Patronum” He watched as the silver wolf shot out, heading off in a direction to his right.He sighed, hoping Sirius would take him for his word. He knew the other man could be suspicious of people working against him, but he hoped even given the current circumstances, he still trusted Remus. He didn’t know what he would do if he didn’t. It was the question settling there on the tip of his tongue, do you trust me?Sighing, Remus leaned back against the old couch comforted by the familiar scent embedded in the blankets and throw strewn over it, his head meeting cushion. He lay there for a while in the silence, letting his permanent exhaustion wash over him. The full moon wasn’t for another five days now, but the exhaustion never left him. Sometimes he was granted a reprieve. He fondly remembered the days where he had the energy to joke around with his friends laughing until he cried, but nowadays he felt as though he hadn’t laughed in years. Like he couldn’t even if he wanted to.He closed his eyes and waited for the haze of sleep. It came mercifully quickly.He was woken up by someone calling his name and lightly shaking him and he didn’t have to wonder that no one had been there when he had drifted off because he could recognise that scent and voice anywhere.Sirius.He opened his eyes and was only vaguely surprised to see Primrose also there, asleep in Sirius’s arms. Sirius himself had sat down on the couch near Remus’s hip, not bothered by the close proximity with him which eased something inside of Remus that worried Sirius’s anger with Lily and James would extend to him.“You came.” Remus spoke softly, caught in Sirius’s grey-eyed stare the same way he had always been. Sirius could be unnerving when he wanted to be, but it was eased with a small smile.“Of course. I trust you.”Silence rang out as Remus just looked at him and he wondered if Sirius knew how much that had been weighing on him. If he knew Remus was being consumed by the knowledge his friends hadn’t trusted him enough to tell him their secrets, even when they knew his. But Sirius was telling the truth. Remus knew because here he was, and with Primrose. After everything Sirius had seemingly been through to keep her safe, he wouldn’t be here otherwise.Remus moved to sit up and Sirius adjusted himself to make it easier.Remus ran his hand through his hair, realising he was overdue to wash it and he probably looked a state, but this was Sirius, he had seen him after transformations covered in his own blood and sweat. It didn’t matter. He sighed, eyes on the floor.“I spoke to James and Lily.” He looked to the side to see Sirius’s reaction to that. He clenched his jaw and looked back at Remus.“What did they say?”“That you’d taken Primrose because they’d planned to send her to live with Petunia and her husband until she was old enough to attend Hogwarts. The family tree doesn’t show her anymore and the Hogwarts records for pre-magical children don’t either.”Sirius was quiet for a bit as he met Remus’s eyes. He didn’t look away as he replied.“I renamed her Aurora. Aurora Rega Black. Because she’s my daughter.”Remus just nodded. He had never doubted that. He would have to get used to the new name though. It was somewhat fitting for Sirius to choose a name so close to his families tradition of naming their children for stars, but still not quite abiding by the rules.“Lily wants to take you to court. She isn’t accepting this.”“It doesn’t matter. I’m her father in every single way. That was decided before she was ever born. There was a reason for that, and I will argue that if they take me to court. Not that I think it would even get that far. She’s on the Black family tree and she was from the moment she was born. This was the natural progression of Mother Magics will. I was made her father for this situation, and it is my duty to ensure her safety.” He murmured quietly, meeting Remus’s eyes in that intense way of his, whilst still bounced Aurora gently on his lap when she started fussing.Remus just hummed, nodding, he already knew that, and he had no intention of arguing with him on it either. He just smiled at them both, glad that Aurora seemed to recognise him despite how much of her life he had missed recently. She was staring at him with Sirius’s grey-silver eyes. She had always looked exactly like him, but he saw in the way her hair was smoother, and skin even lighter than before, that Sirius’ claiming of her had made some changes in her.“I know that Sirius. You don’t have to convince me.” It was the truth, and he wasn’t going to pretend otherwise. It probably didn’t make him a very good friend to Lily and James, but it was true.Still feeling that bone deep tiredness, he slumped back into the sofa, perhaps irresponsibly happy when Sirius followed suit, cradling Aurora so she didn’t tip over as he lay back next to him.“I’m glad you’re both okay.” Was the only other thing he could think to say, murmuring it quietly as Sirius leant further against him and he wound one of Sirius’s loose waves around his finger where his crossed arms brushed against his side.“I’m glad you are okay too. I was hoping you would come back soon.” Sirius whispered quietly. Remus let his heart relax a bit at his sincere words. Let the ache fade a little more.They let the quietness lull their conversation, just sitting with each, both focusing on Aurora’s curious perusal of the room. Watching a baby discover things was always fun because they were so wide eyes at mundane things.“Remus?” Sirius murmured his name quietly in the relaxed silence that followed his confession. Remus looked over and hummed.“Yes?”“I know it’s a lot to ask, and feel free to say no if you wish, but… will you come back with me?”Remus stared at him for a moment, the request causing his mind to grind to a halt to process it. Sirius wanted him to go with him. He hadn’t just come here at Remus’s request, to talk to him, but was actively choosing to ask him to return to wherever it was he had been the past week. It eased the fear of being alone that Remus had been trying to suppress since they had left school.“Where to?” Perhaps Sirius saw it in his eyes, or maybe he just knew him well enough to understand but he smiled at Remus. A smile of relief.“Grimmauld Place.” That was the last place Remus had been expecting.“Your parents house?” Sirius nodded, smiling again but this time without humour.“It has wards so people can’t get in and it’s the place no-one would think to look for me.” He shrugged.Remus was more concerned about the childhood trauma that being there would bring up. It was the place he had run away from.“I have had more than a few disputes with Kreacher, but I managed to convince him not to run off to inform the rest of the family I was settling back in, although I am sure they’ll show up to harass me soon enough.” Remus remembered Sirius telling him about the family house elf he had despised for constantly ratting him out to his parents for anything he did wrong, which he always ended up being punished for. “I also managed to remove all the curses in the kitchen and the second and third floor bedrooms, barring my father’s study. Thank Merlin for magical baby proofing spells because that house needs a thorough cleansing before it’s safe for her to crawl around freely.”“I guess we have our work cut out for us then.” Good thing Remus had actually paid attention in school because he would certainly need some of those spells.Sirius grinned at him.